Ask 411 Wrestling 07.06.11: Bubba’s Frat, Ryder’s Chat, War Zone’s Stat, More!

This would be Ask 411 Wrestling, this would be. And I’d be Mathew Sforcina. Now then, bit of housekeeping, in that if you try to view older editions of the Ask 411 Wrestling back catalogue you might see only red crosses or whatever the equivalent is in your internet browser of choice instead of the Chandler System. This is due to a 411mania wide problemo sort of dealy.

Getting technical here.

Anyway, some images may or may not have vanished depending on how often you clear your browser’s cache and if the 411mania website hasn’t eaten it and the moon is waxing and/or waning. So if you read an old one, there may be problems with the lack of proper Chandlers. Without going back in and changing every damn column, it’s impossible to fix.

So yeah.

Go listen to the Tom Tom Club and hear (hopefully) the very best in jokes about Lita’s promiscuity. Then, if you want proper wrestling discussion without said jokes about Lita’s promiscuity, go listen to 411mania’s podcast.

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Backtalking

CM Punk Clearly Reads Me: I agree. I’ll add him to the list of famous wrestlers I assume who read my stuff.

Matt Hardy (He reads 411mania after all.)
Mick Foley (Same)
MVP (He’s replied to me on Twitter and thus must love me.)
Tara (Goddess has chosen to also message me [TWICE!] and thus must read me as well.)
Every Wrestler in ROH (since the official ROH twitter feed follows me)
Every Wrestler in CHIKARA (same as ROH)
Every Wrestler who has ever expressed their enjoyment of Botchamania (Given that Maffew loves and follows me around, clearly anyone who follows him follows me, vicariously.)
CM Punk
Howard Finkel.

6 Man Tag Titles: Oz wondered aloud about something.

Hey man – firstly the non-published bit: I’ve been following ask411 since the guy before the guy before the guy before Gavin Napier (whose name escapes me at the moment), which, while I’m sure is a long way from the longest-serving fan, I’m sure makes me one of the veterans. Some have been better than others (mainly the ones who take the time to a) publish all questions & have a go at an answer, even if it subsequently proves to be wrong, and b) give personal responses where they can & actually develop a rapport with the readers/contributors) but you have been the best, even apart from the fact you have stuck with it longest, and apart from the fact you are a fellow Aussie. Well done.

Second, info regarding the question this week about the WWF/E 6-man champs. Your answer doesn’t mention that NWA once had a 6-man tag champs “title”, so I’m assuming you’ve never heard of it. I only know about it because various wrestling mags in the mid-late 80’s had ranking for 6-man teams at various times, but it seemed to be like the WWF Womens & European titles: the titles could go for long periods without being involved in storylines, & even effectively retired, until one day when they could be conveniently reinstated when it suited the storyline for the fueds of the day. I personally don’t know much more about them apart from remembering that various incantations of the Horsemen seemed to hold the belts at various times when I paid attention, but a quick google shows this wikipedia article – always the bastion of reliable info on the net. Anyway, the point is that maybe the asker was getting mixed up with an NWA 6-man title, which definitely *did* exist at some point. But no, the WWF/E have never had an official 6 man title as far as I remember (going back to about 1986).

Cheers

No, I did know about it, but it’s true I probably should have mentioned it. I assumed that people already knew about it, and thus it didn’t need mentioning, but that’s a mistake, probably. So thanks for the feedback!

(And I always include the praise and/or criticisms because I’m an egotistical prat I think you people have a right to be heard. Unless you really don’t want it mentioned, in which case… I dunno really. Don’t send it? Eh.)

Moolah’s Drought’s Longer!: 13 or so years? Terry Funk. 25 years. Case closed.

Your Turn, Smart Guy…

Who am I? I once held a tag title that was held by the Miracle Violence Connection, and managed a team who held the other two tag titles that team held. I had a signature weapon at one point that didn’t really make sense as a weapon but seemed to work out OK. The only official single’s title reign I have in the WWE’s books is for a title that doesn’t exist any more. A WWE Hall Of Fame member, and a man who won his last match (An over the top battle royal) I am who?

Paul “Mr. Wrestlemania” Roma came so close.

Who am I? I once held a tag title that was held by the Miracle Violence Connection

AJPW UNIFIED WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP WITH STAN HANSEN. OF COURSE THE MVC WERE STEVE WILLIAMS AND TERRY GORDY

, and managed a team who held the other two tag titles that team held.

THE STEINER BROTHERS

I had a signature weapon at one point that didn’t really make sense as a weapon but seemed to work out OK.

TH INFAMOUS BLACK GLOVE OF DOOM.

The only official single’s title reign I have in the WWE’s books is for a title that doesn’t exist any more.

THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE

A WWE Hall Of Fame member, and a man who won his last match (An over the top battle royal)

WHEN BRIBED THE REAL WINNER, IRWIN R. SCHYSTER

I am who?

OF COURSE, ME, PAUL ROMA!!!!!

… I think this video sums up my thoughts on this meme. Careful, NSFW.

Guest finishes that off right.

You are Ted DiBiase

Although I should point out that the ‘official’ title was the North American. The Million Dollar title was never an official title.

Who am I? I’ve been managed by Royalty, A Fat Guy and a former World Champion (sort of). I’ve won a somewhat important yearly tournament, and have had 2 reigns of a secondary title in the biggest company I’ve worked in. I’ve lead a faction, been a one night member of another, and been one man’s lackey (the former World Champ from earlier). A double WON Award winner in one year, and a current tag champ in a new wrestling company on your TV screens, I am who?

Questions, Questions, Who’s Got The Questions?

Anyway, this week may or may not be shortish, no idea. We’ll see what turns up. And we begin with David.

I was watching the match above between Jumbo Tsuruta (who is just phenomenal in every match I’ve ever seen) and Stan Hansen for the AJPW Triple Crown.

I know Tsuruta was NWA International Champion and Hansen was the NWA United National Champion and PWF Champion before they unified the titles into the AJPW Triple Crown…but what is the history of each individual title? Which title was considered AJPW’s World title before unification? Were the belts just All-Japan creations or did they actually represent the titles of 3 different companies?

For a change, I won’t just run to Ryan Byers (he hasn’t been answering my calls after I said Tara would beat Manami Toyota) and will instead try to answer this myself. I’ll probably screw it up, but whatever, let’s give this a shot.

All right, let’s start with a little history. All Japan Pro Wrestling was established in 1972 by Giant Baba and the sons of the legendary Rikidōzan. It’s first show was October 21, 1972, and it’s World Title was established on February 27th, 1973. See, Giant Baba was a co-owner, but he was also the star of the promotion. In order to give the new upstart company some legitimacy, the company set up the Pacfic Wrestling Federation as the governing body that controlled all the titles in AJPW. Sort of like the WCW Championship Committee or Vince McMahon all by himself in WWE. Baba then had a series of 10 matches, where he gained victories over Bruno Sammartino Terry Funk, Abdullah the Butcher, The Destroyer, Wilbur Don Leo Jonathan, Pat O’Connor and Bobo Brazil (Bruno and Snyder each got a draw result first then Baba won the rematch). After these victories, he was awarded the PWF World Heavyweight Championship. However, the belt was only a World title for a short time, as the company soon joined the NWA, at which point the PWF title became a regional one, as AJPW recognised the NWA World Champion as being the World Title.

Now, this was all well and good. But NWA had been working with Japan Pro Wrestling Alliance (JWA) prior to this point, and they had two titles made specifally for the Japanese company. There was the NWA International Heavyweight Title, which was handed to Lou Thesz in 1957, sorry, he won the title in 1949 in a tournament where he beat Antonino Rocca, quite possibly in Rio. Rikidōzan then won the title off him in August 1958, then brought the title to Japan. It was defended in JWA until it closed, at which point Kintaro Ohki took it to South Korea and defended it there.

As well as this, there was the NWA United National Championship. This actually began as an American title, being defended mostly in California, beginning with Dale Lewis in 1970. Antonio Inoki won the title there, then took it with him to JWA, and began to defend it there. But when he left JWA to form New Japan Pro Wrestling, it briefly went to Canada of all places before coming back into JWA. Then when JWA closed, it was deactivated. But it was then revived in AJPW in 1976, Jumbo Tsuruta beating Jack Brisco in the final of the real tournament to crown a new champ. It would bounce back and forth, being defended both in Japan and America.

It wasn’t until 1981, when Ohki was forced to vacate the International Heavyweight title and a new champion was crowned via a tournament, Dory Funk Jr getting a bye in the finals due to an injury to Bruiser Brody and thus getting to defend it against Terry Funk instead. Once the belt was formed in All Japan, it was the premier title, that was the main belt in the company, the other two were the minor ones. I believe the PWF title ranked below the UN one, since Jumbo held the UN and gave it up to focus on the IH, which to me sounds like giving up #2 for #1, ala Stone Cold.

Anyway, all 3 belts were defended and such until AJPW left the NWA in 1986, but keeping the titles. They were still defended, but without the NWA World Champion as the centrepiece, all the titles stepped up a notch until such time as they unifed the belts into the Triple Crown. As they did with the tag titles.

Clear?

Conor asks a few questions.

Hey man few questions!

1.Michael Buffer being used at WCW PPVs and Nitro main events, was he under contract with Time Warner for the time period in WCW?Or was he paid him for each appearance (which was alot of times) I ask this because when WCW was bought out, why didn’t WWF try and sign him or use for any point after the take over?Did they just feel Howard Finkel was better?

He had a deal with Time Warner, thanks to Time Warner owning HBO which broadcast many fights from Top Rank, a boxing company, which Michael was lead announcer for. He was able to announce for boxing and such but he had a deal with Time Warner that he would only announce for WCW, he would not work for any other wrestling or wrestling type company, so no WWF, no UFC.

After WCW was sold, he was theoretically free to work for WWF/E, but WWE didn’t bring him in since he was not home grown and he was somewhat expensive (given that, you know, he’s in world wide demand and quite popular and stuff). They have worked together in the past, such as on Saturday Night’s Main Event boxing match between Matt Hardy and Evander Holyfield.

And, of course, the 2008 Royal Rumble.

He’s happy enough to work with the WWE, when Vince calls, he’s willing to listen. But then Vince is well known for not being big on working with people he doesn’t own. So he’s unlikely to bring in Buffer, even for special occasions, since he’s not a WWE guy. It’s not a case of The Fink being ‘better’, more than him being controlled by Vince.

Although I would say that as good as Buffer is, he’s not so much wrestling as he is a great announcer. He’s one of the best voices in sports/TV history. But in my mind, Howard Finkel is THE Voice Of Professional Wrestling. Purists will have Gordon Solie pronouncing Suplex, or Jim Ross declaring Mick Foley to be broken in half. But in my mind, there is nothing like that brief pause befoe Howard says that magic word.

The winner of this bout, and…

…

NEW!!! World Wrestling Federation Champion…

2.What is Freddie Prince Jr’s status with the WWE at this moment?I know he appeared in that skit in Stephanie McMahon’s dream,but is he still working backstage? And what has been the general feeling about his role within the company?Like has he made an impact or done a good job?

Prince came in in 2008 as a creative team member for Smackdown, with the hidden agenda being, supposedly, that he would be used as a way to try and get more celebs in, he would be the WWE’s man on the inside. The two then parted ways in early 2009, after which he guest hosted Raw. Then in October last year he returned to the WWE as a director and producer. So that’s his current position, he’s one of the WWE’s creative type peoples, in that he doesn’t live in Stamford (one of the reasons he quit before), instead he’s in LA, he does most TV and the rest via conference call.

As for his role in the company, back in 2008 he fit in well, and was well liked. His return was also well liked with the boys and creative, in that he was a good go between since he was a fan and creative so both sides liked him, he could talk to both and get along with everyone. Plus the fact that he’s somewhat up with the modern pop culture scene is a plus. But no major, superbly good or horribly bad angle was ever attributed to him.

But he’s well liked, so that’s a pretty big achievement in of itself.

3.When Vince McMahon was “blown up” in the limo in 07, who was meant to be behind it all?Was it really meant to be Mr.Kennedy or one of the Mcmahons? Also would that have been the last ever time Vince would be on TV,I couldn’t image that,he would of had to come back somehow!The Raw tribute to Benoit,what was meant to happen that nyt and finally any truth that all the wrestlers where in black tie attire when told about Benoit?I mean kinda of freaky if it was!

Thanks and keep up the good work

Woo boy.

OK, let’s recap.

Actually, can we not and just say we did?

No? All right.

OK, Vince has a Night of Appreciation for himself in 2007 (really? That long ago?), as well as it being the WWE Draft. Vince goes… Well, a little odd.

And then blows up. So, the entire roster was there, any of them could have done it. So, they then bring in investigators, and on the Smackdown prior to Raw two weeks later, it’s announced that, as well as Vince and the Driver, there’s a third strand of DNA in the limo. And then Benoit went and did what he did, thus throwing the thing out.

And yes, on that night that they did the Chris Benoit appreciation Raw, the entire WWE roster was at Raw, and they all had suits and stuff since it was scheduled to be a memorial service for Vince McMahon, who was dead. But that got thrown out, and they did the Memorial show. And then 26 hours later they had to go into overdrive to correct it.

But what was the plan? What were they going to do?

The plan was for at the end of Raw, in a shocking development, Linda McMahon would be arrested for the crime. She’d be charged with killing her husband. Then, across a few months, there would be more twists and turns, and then it would be revealed that Mr. Kennedy had actually ‘done’ it, and then it would be the shocking reveal that Mr. McMahon was actually behind it, and had faked his own death, with Kennedy’s help. Thus both would be horribly hated.

Anyway, that was the original plan. Of course, it was never going to end well. Not because of Benoit specifically, but because if you use a death angle in wrestling seriously, it’s inevitable that someone important would die during it. That’s not a knock as such against Wrestling, mostly, it’s just that there are so many wrestlers, it’s statistically likely that in any long period of time, one of them will die. True, the odds of it being an active roster member and going in the way Benoit did would be unlikely, but the angle would end up in bad taste at some point regardless.

From the website that hosts The Ultimate Warrior’s Confession…

We bring you The Briscoes debut on ‘exclusive’ DVD!

(Oh so very much NSFW here.)

But you may have heard the theme song already.

Jon asks about a rumor involving a screwdriver. Sadly not the really cool one.

Hey

What’s the rumour regarding MVP having heat with HHH over a screw-driver incident? I’ve seen the odd post on forums and a few folks I’ve spoken to seem to be aware of it without actually going into detail. Can you enlighten me? What’s the deal?

Thanks,

Supposedly at some point MVP got pissy at HHH and attacked him with a screwdriver, which directly led to his losing streak gimmick. You know, as punishment. Since he wouldn’t be fired or arrested or anything.

Anyway, the whole thing was a joke, a fake story created on the Wrestlecrap forums and spread about a bit. Like The Undertaker coming back as The Savour and the 4,594,845,845 different Ultimate Warriors and Kanes. No truth whatever to it.

Jeremy is all over the place.

Hey Matt,

You know I love your column and asking the questions for it so here’s some more:

1) This show called “All Worked Up” shows footage of rent-a-cops at Ring of Honor events. One douche was stealing merch. Another guy was a rowdy fan who got KTFO by Austin Aries. My question is how did the deal between ROH and TruTV come about?

No idea, I wasn’t able to find a source, but it’s fairly obvious. The show’s about people dealing with bad news and/or rowdy idiots, and a wrestling security guard makes sense. And since WWE would say no and TNA’s not really suitable, ROH is the obvious choice for balancing rowdy fans and professional security. The producers just have a list of jobs they could use for the series. I assume, as I said, no info. Readers?

2) Tosh.0 had a “web redemption” in its first season about a backyard wrestler. A wrestler named Scorpio Sky is brought in for basic tips. Do you know who this guy is?

Yeah, he’s an old hand in PWG’s early days, having wrestled across California.

He started in the Mask, then after winning the PWG tag titles he was attacked, bloodied, and stripped of his mask, and now goes maskless. He’s one of the guys involved in the new Urban Wrestling Federation, and, most importantly, he was involved in this.

3) In a shoot interview I saw once, Brother Ray talks about botching in front of his family, friends, and “20 of my fraternity brothers” at an MSG house show. My question is what college did BRD graduate from and what house did he pledge?

St. John’s University in Jamaica, Queens, New York. Lambda Epsilon Chi was his frat.

What? Sometimes I manage to find the answer, why dress it up?

Although he didn’t graduate, he left after two years after getting too caught up in the whole Frat life.

4) Do WWE superstars personally get residuals if they’re on a DVD or video game Or does WWE pocket it all because they have likeness rights?

No, the superstars get residuals. Even today, if they use Lance Storm or MVP or… Tom Brandi’s likeness, they cut a check. It might be very very small, but they cut it.

5) What is the highest-grossing wrestling arcade and highest-selling video game of all time?

—
Cheers,

Highest selling wrestling game is, surprisingly, WWF War Zone, with 3.36M sales.

Arcade, can’t help you alas. Too many variables, far too little info.

Brian asks about a guy I’ve always had a soft spot for.

ive always wanted to ask…..growing up in the late 80s/early 90s….has yokozuna actually ever executed a running elbow drop? He seems to attempt one at least every match…. Thanks!!

Not off the top of my head, no. But then many wrestlers have moves like that. Ones that are well scouted but they know that if they ever hit it, it’ll be lights out because it’s deadly. Thus they keep going back, since it’s a sure thing if it hits…

But seriously, no, I don’t think he ever did, the spot was a way to get him down without the other guy doing much. Readers?

Kerry asks about a moment in time.

Love the article!! This may be a longshot, but do you think you could find the video of Eric Bischoff buying ad time during an episode of Monday Night Raw? I know it was during the “Attitude” era. If i’m remembering correctly, he starts off promoting some product, and then starts talking about WCW. I’ve been looking for this for many years.

Thanks a million,

Yeah, this is one of those things that enough people remember seeing but no-one can find. And given that WWE did something similar when they had him, he did an ad during Smackdown that went like this:

It’s pretty clear that he did actually do this once. But sadly, like you, I can’t find record or tape. Readers?

Patrick has a simple question.

Q: Is Triple H’s look supposed to be based on Lemmy from Motorhead?

Yes.

William is confused, slightly.

When a wrestler wins a title that they previously held, do they get a new belt or do they just use a previous one from when they held the title before??

Well, neither. In any company other than WWE, you don’t get copies of the belt. In WWE, you can purchase/get given a copy of the belt, but that’s not one used on air or in the ring. They have a Hero belt and a standard belt, where whenever you’re on air, you get to use the Hero belt, the very shiny proper one, and all other times you use the standard one, for house shows and the like. It’s the same belt, it gets traded from person to person, no-one keeps that one belt.

Sean finally asks about hiding under the ring.

Hi Mathew, maybe you could answer a question I have always wondered…
How is it that wrestlers suddenly appear from under the ring to attack another wrestler? By that I mean how do they get there? For example Miz suddenly appeared from under the ring to attack Cena not long ago, now oviously Miz is not going to just hang out under the ring for 2 hours until he is cued, so whats the deal? Do some arenas have stairs under the arena floor that can be used or something? And I dont suppose WWE has a buffett under the ring in case the wrestler gets hungry while he waits do they? (lol)

They may be an arena with a trap door arrangement, but it’s hardly the norm. The normal procedure is that, during a commercial, a whole bunch of technicians and ring crew will come out in a group and ‘fix’ something on the ring. During this, the wrestler in question is in the middle of the group, then slides in underneath. Then, 10-15-20 minutes later, they pop up.

Now, if it’s going to happen right at the top of the show, they might come in before the show starts, but most of the time they just put on some overalls, go down, get under the ring, then remove the overalls and go from there.

And no, no food is served. They don’t want people having to go to the bathroom under there, now do they?

My Damn Opinion

David is back and wants to discuss the InVasion. Because, you know, that’s a topic of discussion that’s barely been touched…

Nah, it’s cool.

Hey Mathew,

You’re still the best…even when you disagree with my opinions.

On his HighSpots shoot, Bill DeMott talks about his experience of coming into the WWF as part of the Invasion. He said that the original plan at Wrestlemania was for the WCW guys to come to the ring with Shane McMahon, but Stasiak did an interview revealing the plan along with a list of all the WCW guys who would be appearing before the show and the WWF found out about it, got pissed off, threatened to fire everybody, before relenting and sticking the guys up in a skybox.

Bill also suggests that the reason ECW and WWF guys joined to form the Alliance was due to politics. WWF guys were pissed that WCW guys were getting TV time when they were not and to appease their discontent, they were shoved into the Invasion angle.

Do you think the Invasion might have had a better shot at success if WCW had received a proper launch at Wrestlemania?

I know the Time Warner guaranteed deals likely made bringing in the Top WCW guys impossible or at least financially undesirable…but do you think if the WWF guys had not whined their way into the angle, it is conceivable that Vince could have been thinking of doing a slow build (bring the underneath guys in 1st) with the idea of eventually bringing in the top WCW guys?

First of all, yes, the InVasion angle should have begun at WM. Yes, WM is normally where feuds and storylines end, you don’t normally begin stuff there, but this isn’t a feud over a title or a heel turn, this is, supposedly, the biggest money making angle in history. You start at one WM, you build up to the next. X8 should have been the culmination of one full year of hostility and war. By all means start it slow, but it’s the biggest angle in history, it should have been bookended at WMs.

(I thought at some point I’d done a rebooking of the InVasion in this column, but apparently not. No matter.)

As for the main WCW guys, given how much the WWF guys bitched and moaned about those who did come in, I think buying out contracts on the scale of Goldberg and Hogan and the like would have been, not upsetting the apple cart, but blowing it up, shooting any surviving apples then raping the donkey that was pulling it.

Now, in The Death of WCW book, it’s argued that the WWF guys were short-sighted and should have been willing to work with the WCW guys on the basis that it would make everyone more money and been all beer and skittles. That’s a very rosy view of the situation, you have to remember that at the time some guys were injured or not suitable (you really want to bring in Rey Mysterio, unmasked?), but then the funny thing was that all the names that were too big for WWF at the time of the InVasion would end up coming back afterwards. Flair, the nWo, Goldberg, all the guys they didn’t bring in at the time came in later anyway, just after it was useful.

So I think if the WWF guys had been welcoming and everyone had been one big happy family (as opposed to what it was, where Vince encouraged the hatred ijn the misguided idea that conflict behind the scenes led to better matches), Vince might well have sent feelers out, if the boys seemed to understand that bringing in Goldberg for his salary would mean that everyone got big fat bonus checks, then he might well have considered it. But sadly, you only ever get one shot at this sort of thing, and it got blown. Badly.

Sigh.

Jonny asks about a hot topic today.

Woo Woo Woo etc.

with all the recent talk about Mr. Ryder How exactly would you book him onto TV?

I mean I like the Z videos, theyre a LOL but how exacly would that translate into a TV character with a decent push?

thanks for answering, if you can. keep up the good work.

It’s an interesting question. Everyone who isn’t named Vince McMahon seems to love the guy and love the videos (oh, and all the people below who express their hatred of him), and with this love comes the inevitable “PUSH THIS MAN” calls. Even I have said that.

But how? You can’t just transplant the Z True Long Island Story onto Raw, can you?

No, you can’t.

And given what WWE did on Raw with him…

That’s not exactly what we had in mind.

So now what?

The traditional method I’ve seen thrown about is fairly simple. You continue the backstage stuff with Cena and Ryder, you show him and John being Broskis and all that, and then in the lead up to Summerslam as Cena is fighting off Del Rio and R-Truth, Zack runs out to make the save, then you do The Broskis V True Kings as the main event on the last Raw before Summerslam, maybe run Ryder/Truth at the PPV to establish him as the lovable goofball face midcard guy, like Santino except with a little more credibility and a fake title, run with the Internet Belt as a joke that becomes ‘serious’ later on, like the Million Dollar Title. Maybe John could have a proper belt made for him for Xmas or something. That’s the traditional, safe way to do it.

But how I’d do it? I’d do a test run on Superstars, have him defeat a local talent, then get interviewed by Scott Stanford mid ring. But he only gets a few words out when the Tag Champs come out and interrupt, only for Koztino to come out and interrupt them. But while they are talking, have Ryder run the segment, goaded them into setting up a tag title match later on. You know, ‘Bro, what do you say to that?’ ‘You gonna take that Bro?’ and so on.

If the segment works, then next week on Superstars you debut Zack Ryder’s new Interview segment, The Broski Show (or something with a cooler name) with Zack as the host and Scott playing Tony Atlas. You then debut that on Raw, with the quality of guests slowly improving up until the point when the World Champion and the #1 Contender can and do appear and it’s accepted as being on that level. Then you have someone trash the place and run the feud from there, as the fans accept him as being part of that level as a personality, then you show off he skills that the dude has, go back and watch his matches with Christian and Dreamer in ECW, dude can go.

That’s how I’d do it. After all, you can’t do the comedy stuff on the air, but you can have him talk. What do you guys think? Tell me why I suck below. Or don’t. Or do. Or don’t…