The Wrestling 5 & 1 09.03.11: Torrie Wilson battles Brooke Tessmacher in Versus!

This week has been a trying and emotional week. I called Larry Csonka on Tuesday a couple of hours before The Greg DeMarco Show (yes, on the phone)–and it was a call he didn’t expect. I am looking at possibly taking a self-imposed hiatus from 411Mania in the near future. It’s allowing me to enter a very exciting point in my life—one that actually isn’t related to 411 or wrestling. But it brings about some necessary change, and it looks like this is one of them. It might be permanent, it might not. In fact, I’m changing up this week’s column in hopes that I can make it work. But I’m not banking on it. I love writing here, and I don’t want to stop. But I might need to, at minimum for a short time, possibly for good. I won’t leave 411Mania hanging with no replacement or no lead time, and I won’t start missing editions of the 5&1. I don’t have all of the answers at this point, but I’ve always made it my policy to be fully transparent. So we might have some talking to do in the next couple of weeks.

But first…BRING ON THE GIRLS!

Last Week: Torrie Wilson survived one hell of a catfight with Ashley Massaro last week, and now she’s within shouting distance of The Hall of Bang!

This Week: Torrie’s final test might be her toughest to date, a favorite of DeMarcouts across the world (and card carrying DeMarcette) Brooke Tessmacher!

Will Torrie get into the Hall? Does Brooke start her own journey?

Take your pick.
Stay tuned as next week as I’ll reveal the winner!

Several Japanese promotions teamed up for the big “All Together” event organized for disaster relief. One of the top matches on the card featured legends Keiji “The Great Muta” Mutoh & Kenta Kobashi teaming up against Toru Yano & Takashi Iizuka. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you who won.

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Seriously, find a way to photoshop a lime in Sheamus’s hand and add the caption “TOO MANY LIMES!”
Posted By: Shame Us

It’s been done…

I’d hate to think that we don’t get a chance to grow up and get another chance after our youthful mistakes. Then again, wrestling seems to be the kind of promotion where people grow up fast or not at all.
Posted By: Guest#3551

I agree—some people do deserve a second chance. It’s hard in wrestling—when someone’s mind is made up, it’s made up. Good or bad, that’s the decision.

The Young Bucks already have their size going against them. Maybe they are fine in the indies, but even with WWE going with smaller wrestlers they are smaller than what WWE likes. Plus they aren’t good on the mic. Two big strikes before they get out of the gate.
Originally I thought it was just Rob, and Booker-T & Goldust are his friends. I can understand not going to RVD for advice, doesn’t seem like the most coherent guy. I can understand being shy around Velvet Sky too. But if they were always like this, then ROH and PWG will be their homes.
Posted By: Guest#2611

I will say this, they are young. Time can heal wounds, and after a great run in ROH and some more time away from the WWE or TNA, they might get another shot.

Bonus Coverage: It’s really sad what has happened with Flair and Hardy needs help or it seems like his life could end soon.
Posted By: Still Guest#8287

How ironic.

I thought you might have had some commnets regarding the crowd at last Monday’s RAW. Cena’s shirt getting tossed back at him not once but twice was priceless. I do feel bad for Cena though, he does a ton of charity work and is always booked as a babyface. Who knows, perhaps he is dying to play the heel. Canadian crowds will do that though – Hogan vs Rock WM18.
Posted By: Tom (Guest)

I’m a big fan of the “Bizarro World” crowd we get from Canada and Chicago.

just to add to the young bucks being disresspectful, they got book for several shows for spw out of sacramento that they no showed on leading them to no longer being booked
Posted By: the saint (Guest)

That’s the problem with situations like this. One or two bad things happen and people start sharing their own experiences.

The booking should be intrested how do you make the monster loose with out looking weak,and the champ win without burying the monster?
Posted By: watever87

I think you have the monster win. Mark Henry captures the World Heavyweight Champion and continues to be dominant. He even gets some more wins over Randy Orton to follow-up. Orton will eventually win in an environment that makes both look strong (Hell in a Cell, tables match, etc.). No reason Henry has to look weak in defeat.

Really enjoyed reading about the attitude stuff. I’m not shocked about TJ Perkins as I’ve heard more stories of him shitting on people that are trying to help him aswell. It’s a shame as he’s a great wrestler but his attitude clearly stinks. Out of interest what has he said about Buggy?
Posted By: Col (Guest)

I know Buggy wants to move on, so I’m going to respect that. It’s out there, mostly on Formspring.

You said Rebecca Knox caused some stirs and don’t mention what it is!?! When you have guest at your home and you serving dinner do you only give them the meat while they imagine what the potatoes would have tasted like?? As someone who is a writer and a story teller I don’t think its good to a story to leave something important out.
Posted By: Guest#0746

Not that kind of stir! More that she quickly gained a following before cutting her career short.

I don’t know, but from what I understand Sapolsky’s been less than dependable since he left ROH. I’m inclined to believe TJP when he says he was taking 33 hour car trips for double digit pay. On the other hand, he is indeed an egotist.
Posted By: Guest#0877

I’m not saying he’s lying. It’s more that he’s complaining about getting a free ride. Gabe wasn’t going to fly him out, but he let him ride for free. It was either that or no booking.

Wasn’t there a story that WWE had offered Ric a post-retirement job, but he turned it down? Thought he could get more elsewhere.
Then he burned ROH and a variety of promoters. He kept spending his money like he was still making as much in the old days and had to borrow money on tour.
While still needing money, he messes around with TNA. If he needs money, he could at least be on good behavior.
So he never learned from his mistakes and turned down what was probably better money.
This isn’t just the case of an old guy headed back to work, this is a guy who keeps repeating the same mistakes he made all his life.
Posted By: Guest#7212

We had several opinions on this topic, but I think you sum it up quite nicely.

Another great column. This is the only weekend column on 411mania worth reading!
Posted By: Guest#9302

Comments like this are the reason I am trying to make this work with the new aspects that have recently been added to my life. I promise you I’ll give it my all and do my best to stick around.

You know, although the Rick Flair thing hurts a lot, I have to say that I’m truly disappointed in Morrison. The guy is so great in the ring. Last year, he and Sheamus put on a fantastic match at TLC, and JoMo was top notch in the Royal Rumble 2011 and Elimination Chamber. It’s a shame he’s allowing Melina to screw up his place in the WWE.
Posted By: SteveyMac

I loved the Morrison—Sheamus feud. Morrison needs a new take on “Bros before Hoes.” Career before Hoes.

Melina is a Goddess. Women just don’t naturally look that gorgeous. Hell, she could rightfully demand a Million Dollars per appearance!
Posted By: luvher

A few times a month I’ll discover someone in the business who reads my work. Glad to see I can add John Morrison to that list…

You forgot to mention Teddy Hart. He went from youngest wrestler signed by WWE to scrapping by in the indies because of his attitude problems. Poster child for talented but alienating. Cautionary tale for young wrestlers.
Posted By: Guest#8541

He’s a great example, especially since he admitted on television that he’d use steroids to get ahead.

Don’t bother explaining yourself to the Unwashed. I mean, he’s flaming you for being fat but he’s probably sitting in a forklift chomping down on a bucket of fried twinkies from the Iowa state fair two weeks ago. That’s how these people are.
I’ll see you at the “headquarters” so to speak for 411, lol.
Posted By: Wes Kirk

What do you mean “those people?” HA! Seriously, I hope you “take the power back” so you can submit a column next week. Granted, you need that power to see this column…

Nobody wants to read your shit sandwich, wes kirk. Go sit on it and spin around you knob slobber.
Posted By: Guest#1591

You say that, yet plenty of people actually do read it. And when he “takes the power back” they’ll read it again!

Is it a coincidence that John Cena is FU-ing Kurt Angle while Eric Bischoff is in the background?
Posted By: Guest#8262

Actually, yes it is!

Morrison is totally whipped. I wouldn’t be surprised that Melina is telling him to slander the company, and he does it.
Once he gets the cancer that is melina away from him, he’ll be good again.
He’s decent on the mic as a heel but god-awful as a face. He’s just a natural douchebag.
Posted By: Guest#2762

I think this is spot-on. And that makes you…

Ashley sucks but you happen to pick better photos of her. Ashley.
Posted By: Guest#2411

You only consider the pics I use?

I’ve been refraining from saying this, but I think it’s time. Ric Flair is not and never has been the real Nature Boy. The Nature Boy is Buddy Rogers. Period. Flair has never been much but a pale shadow of Rogers. In his prime, Flair was an effective heel, but how many face turns has he done during his career? Rogers never turned face, always got the jeers. His swagger beats Flair’s stupid strut all to hell. Of course, Flair should have retired about fourteen years ago. People talk about him tarnishing his legacy these days. That damage was done long ago. Lastly, Rogers was a genuine tough guy who had the respect of his peers. He never got beat up by women or a daughter’s boy friend. Nobody ever said about him, as Scott Steiner said about Flair (and that other pussy, Shawn Michaels) that he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. About the only thing Flair is good for these days is getting the shit beat out of him by Sting. After that, I really don’t need him on my TV any more.
Posted By: the ghost of Buddy Rogers

Only one thing I can say to add on to that, and it’s for you…

First of all, TJP’s not the only one to have taken shots at buggy… among others, people such as Joey Ryan and Johnny Yuma, who along with TJP are close friends with Johnny Goodtime (who was until recently in a relationship with Buggy)… so obviously they’ve recently had a nasty breakup, and TJP, Yuma, Ryan, and others are just backing up their friend, just like you’re backing up Buggy.
Honestly, i don’t really care about their heat… they’ve both been really nice to me in my interactions with them and that’s all that matters, but for you to rush to buggy’s aid and attack tj just makes yourself look like some obsessed fool.
Posted By: JK

So it’s cool for them to support their friend, but I can’t? Well…

Fuck the haters, De Marco – this is the best 5&1 in all of 411.
Posted By: Dr. Doctor

Thanks, Doc!

And now it’s time for the most objective Impact Wrestling review around…mine!

This week’s Impact Wrestling, taped last Thursday in Huntsville, Alabama, featured TNA World Champion Kurt Angle taking on former champ Sting, as well as Mickie James defeating Winter to regain the Knockouts Championship.

Chad Nevett’s Impact Wrestling Instant Analysis was used for the segment breakdown and match times. But those ratings are mine. And to make sure it’s different, I am rating things out of six. Six—the number of sides the TNA ring should have.

Segment #1 – Hogan, Angle & Sting yapping (2/6)
I can’t stand to see or listen to Hulk Hogan anymore. Kurt Angle is great, but his rationale is so flawed that it’s laughable. The only redeeming factor here was Sting, who is best served to act like The Joker like he did this week—in a manner where it’s obvious he’s doing it to get under someone’s skin. I did have one small complaint. Sting has a three step plan: Angle’s title, then Flair, then Hogan. The World Title is merely step 1?! Way to devalue the belt, TNA.

Segment #2 – Gunner beat Rob Van Dam to win spot #4 in the BFG Series finale (5:00ish, 4/6)
The big reveal of the final four happens…in a small pre-match video. Meh. Van Dam was a little off of his game, but I felt like Gunner stepped his up in return. I’m happy with the result, and excited to see RVD-Jerry Lynn (even if the build is asinine).

Segment #3 – Eric Bischoff puts Karen Jarrett in charge…of the Knockouts (1/6)
I don’t care about the booking decision—it actually makes sense. But the segment was horrible.

Segment #4 – X-Division Champ Brian Kendrick & Jesse Sorenson beat Austin Aries & Kid Kash (5:00, 4.5/6)
Good match which shows that TNA can run multiple angles in the same division! Hooray! Austin Aries continues to do the little things that make him special, and Jesse Sorenson getting the fall over Kid Kash makes perfect sense.

Segment #5 – Hogan/Angle/JEFF HARDY?! (2/6)
Blah blah blah. Thank goodness for DVR.

Segment #6 – Mickie James beat Winter to regain the Knockouts Championship (6:00, 3.5/6)
The match wasn’t horrible, but the booking decision was. Why put Winter over strong, especially as a character, only to have her lose? Because you’re not in Orlando? Not sure where this leaves Velvet Sky, whose push seems derailed at this point.

Segment #7 – Samoa Joe fights with Matt Morgan (4/6)
Let’s see…Joe has sabotaged the entire Bound For Glory Series. Matt Morgan was so passionate about the series this his injury left him emotionally destroyed. So now they feud. Hey, wait a minute…that makes sense! This elevated both guys, which Patrick O’Dowd will tell you is what a good angle is supposed to do. I’m actually excited for a Joe-Morgan program. Actually, I’d be down for a Joe Morgan program, too!

Segment #8 – Christopher Daniels pinned AJ Styles (7:00ish,5/6)
Match of the night right here. Some weeks no match deserves that honor, but this week there was competition! Great storytelling of the consistent AJ Styles against a Christopher Daniels with something to prove. Daniels didn’t cheat to win, but he also didn’t get a “real victory” over Styles–in what Styles said was their last match. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a good bit of storytelling, and I’m excited for a Daniels heel turn.

Segment #9 – TNA World Champion Kurt Angle beat Sting (6:30, 1/6)
This was more like a bonus match after the real main event. Seriously, the WWE would be smart enough to open with this garbage, or put it at the end of hour 1. Too many run-ins and yet another instance of a TNA referee blatantly ignoring things in a match. What a way to waste Sting’s big rematch, guys.

Best Match: Daniels-Styles, and it had competition!

Best Promo: Since it wasn’t a real match, it goes to the Joe-Morgan brawl.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 6

Overall Thoughts: This is TNA. This is Impact Wrestling. We had some really good TV matches. We had a great TV match. And we had some pure crap. The biggest things hurting TNA at the moment all kept this from being a great edition of Impact Wrestling: Hogan, Bischoff, an overbooked main event and a pointless title change. Change those and this is a really good—possibly great—episode of Impact Wrestling.

You Decide: What did you think of Impact Wrestling this week?

Matt Hardy, you are a fool.

Earlier this week Matt Hardy issued a letter via YouTube that many of us “mistakenly” labeled as a suicide letter. Never mind the fact that it followed a pattern of suicide letters previously left on YouTube in the past. No, I’m not embedding the video. You can find it at Hardy’s YouTube page (which I’m not linking to, either). Hell, I won’t even include a picture of Matt Hardy.

Now, as of this writing, Matt Hardy is (thankfully) still with us. I don’t’ really want to see this guy again, but I surely don’t want him to take his own life. He wrapped his Corvette around a tree less than two weeks ago, yet came away unscathed—obviously he has a purpose on this earth. We all do. For some, that purpose is to stock shelves during the overnight shift at Wal-Mart. For others, that purpose might be to be a top flight professional wrestler, paid a king’s ransom to entertain millions of fans worldwide. The second applies to guys like CM Punk and John Cena… I’m starting to think the first applies to Matt Hardy.

I said above I wouldn’t link to the video or to his YouTube page. The only way this stops is if we ignore this moron. He wants to show someone—promoters, bookers—someone that he’s relevant. But his relevance is rapidly fading—so fast that he’s resorting to the most horrible of tactics to get attention.

You Decide: So if I agree not to write about him anymore, can you agree not to pay attention to him anymore?

Three PPV posters were released this week. Two were for WWE—Hell in the Cell and Vengeance—both in October. The third was for TNA’s October event, Bound for Glory. This is one of their biggest events of the year—if not their biggest. October is going to be one of “those” months where we have a wrestling PPV on nearly every weekend. Checking the schedule, Dragon Gate USA does not have any events scheduled for October (and they are no longer showing events on traditional PPV, just iPPV). Ring of Honor has no events for October outside of the October 1 television taping, and their next two iPPV events are September 17th’s Death Before Dishonor IX and(likely) November 19th’s Glory by Honor X. So we will get at least one week off.

Back to the posters…these things are just AWFUL! The WWE posters are the same damn thing, just replace John Cena with Mark Henry, remove the stupid fire/lion head graphic and put a different event graphic at the bottom. And that doesn’t absolve TNA, either. Theirs is equally hideous, it’s just stock photos of four roster members at the top and three legends who shouldn’t be wrestling at the bottom. But these look like they were thrown together with little thought or time. I mean, why is John Cena on fire? Shouldn’t be behind a fence or climbing a cage? Not every poster can enhance the theme of the PPV (Vengeance for example), but if you’re having a HitC PPV, you might as well show the damn “demonic device” that the show is built around.

You Decide: Do you even care about these posters?

Ring of Honor made it official (although we already knew it). Jay & Mark Briscoe will face The All Night Express in the main event of Death Before Dishonor IX in NYC, broadcast live on iPPV. The initial reaction has varied between “this is awesome (clap-clap-clapclapclap)!” to “but you can’t do it without titles to hang from the ceiling!” For me? I like it. There is something hanging from the ceiling, and it’s a contract for a tag team title shot at November’s Glory by Honor X card. What a great way to have the ANX win the contracts and move into a title shot on iPPV. Or, it’s a great way to set-up The Briscoes vs. Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. It’s really a win-win, and it’ll be an awesome match.

However, another match was announced this week that really has me scratching me head:

World TV Champion Jay Lethal & Homicide vs. Tommaso Ciampa & Rhino w/The Embassy

ROH is currently selling 8th row seats and general admission on their website, meaning this is already going to be a very packed house. They didn’t need Rhino or Homicide to sell tickets. If you want to drum up interest, book Jay Lethal in a title defense against Ciampa—he is undefeated, so it’s justifiable. You have Prince Nana promise to bring Rhino and leave it at that. If you really need to announce Homicide, have him announce that he’s coming to NYC for revenge on Rhino. You have Lethal getting the upper hand on Ciampa, and Rhino gets involved, causing a DQ. Keeps Ciampa strong but leaves the title on Lethal. A beat down ensues until Homicide makes the save to a tremendous pop. It works better if he’s not announced at all. Then you can run this tag match at Glory by Honor X, and you have a better explanation for a Lethal & Homicide team than “ROH officials decided that…”

But we’re talking about the last match announced for the show. Plenty of reasons to watch this one, regardless of no Davey Richards and no title matches. Don’t let that fool you—this is a great card:

Ladder War III for a Tag Team Title shot at “Glory By Honor X”
Jay and Mark Briscoe vs. The All Night Express (Kenny King & Rhett Titus)

The “Ringmaster Challenge”- 2/3 Falls Match
Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Strong with Truth Martini
First fall is pinfall only. Second fall is submissions only. If necessary, the third fall is a 15 minute Iron Man Match.

Shelton Benjamin vs. “The Prodigy” Mike Bennett with Brutal Bob

Charlie Haas vs. Michal Elgin with Truth Martini

Jay Lethal & Homicide vs. Tommaso Ciampa & Rhino with The Embassy

Three Way Elimination Match
The Young Bucks (Nick & Matt Jackson) vs. Future Shock (Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly) vs. Harlem & Lance Bravado

El Generico vs. Steve Corino with Jimmy Jacobs

I’ll have a full preview in two weeks. But Ari’s will still be better!

Kurt Angle had a little fun on Twitter this week… not sure what he was smoking before he Tweeted, though.

“I was #34 of Wwe All time Greatest? Tell You what, take Me off the list. I’d rather not be on it, if I wasn’t top 5. Who Ranks Wrestlers?”

Who ranks wrestlers? Well, we did! And plenty of others, do too. Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, The Rock and Steve Austin were all easily higher than Angle. Bret Hart, Triple H, Eddie Guerrero, Ricky Steamboat and Randy Savage can all be argued for. Personally, I had him at #15 when I submitted my Top 25 list for our compilation earlier this year. But Top 5? Not hardly.

But we can’t forget what else he said, thanks to MMAJunkie:

I actually contacted Dana White again after the movie. I flew out to meet him once and got a great offer. I contacted him again, I was thinking about dropping out of Impact wrestling, and there were some personal problems with my marriage and I just wanted to get away. I contacted Dana White, I flew out, and he had me take the UFC physical. I passed it, thank God, and he gave me the offer. … The terms weren’t good, I mean not for me, and the terms I gave him weren’t good for him. He wanted me ready in four-and-a-half weeks; I wanted three to six months. So I respect Dana White and I love him to death, very good friend. I knew I was capable of winning in four-and-a-half weeks, but I wanted to be at my best.

Dana White summed it up best on his own Twitter: “love kurt but not true.”

You Decide: I’m a big Kurt Angle mark, but I can’t buy into what he’s saying in either of these. Is Kurt Angle indeed the biggest Kurt Angle mark?

Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan put on a great match, one that saw Sin Cara pick up the win and shaking hands with Daniel Bryan. He then attacked DB, turning heel. This, of course, is the Hunico/Incognito version of Sin Cara, one with far less botches thanks to more WWE seasoning (in FCW). The Wrestling Observer is reporting what many have speculated on—that this is leading to the “real” Sin Cara returning to challenge the “fake” Sin Cara. I hope that the WWE finds a way to involve the real history between Mistico & Incognito, including a prior stint of sharing the same name. I also they take the opportunity to send Sin Cara-Mistico down to FCW for more seasoning. Even if they want to hide the fact that he’s in FCW, they have an out… put him in the Hunico gear!

You Decide: Can you buy into a “Twin Cara” storyline?

Our beloved Buggy had two Vegas bookings this week, and got some well-earned poolside rest & relaxation in between. And for those who have asked, I do not have a status update on any Buggy poolside bikini pics.

HOWEVER, she did release a new photo shoot earlier in the week. Here is a little sample.

Hit up her website for the complete set!

This week’s edition of The Greg DeMarco Show started off much like the two before it—with my announcement that Ryan “Skid Marks” Howe was in a position where he couldn’t appear. The first time his phone was broken, and he was awaiting a replacement. The second time, it was a birthday surprise that kept him away. This week? His gym bag was stolen, along with his phone. I was informed of this issue right before the show, thanks to his fiancé Jessie Belle Smothers. Yes, I was pissed at first. But Ryan had an unlikely supporter, surprise special guest (and fellow Tough Enough alum) “Donny Osmond” Martin Casaus! Thanks to UCW’s Josh Damian, who was brought to the show thanks to Terra Calaway, Martin was able to make an unscheduled appearance on the program. And this was legit last minute, as I was talking to Josh in the background as the show was going on to make the Martin interview happen. And Martin delivered big time.

You can check it out here, or here:

Listen to internet radio with Greg DeMarco on Blog Talk Radio

And be sure to keep checking out 411Mania.com for more news on next week’s show! You can also find past episodes on iTunes!

TNA recently parted ways with Patrick O’Dowd favorite, and current “&1” Model of the Week Becky Bayless. Their loss…

READ IT!

Randle’s Wrestling News Experience!
The News from Cook’s Corner!
Ari’s Column of Honor!
Byers’ Into the Indies!
Fact or Fiction!
Weyer’s Shining a Spotlight on Self Destruction!
Wright’s Heel Report!
The Top 5!
And Michael Ornelas presents your Match of the Week!

Official DeMarco NFL Picks

AFC East: Patriots, Jets*
AFC North: Steelers, Ravens*
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: Chargers
NFC East: Eagles
NFC North: Packers, Lions*
NFC South: Falcons, Saints*
NFC West: Cardinals
(* – wildcard teams)

Super Bowl XLVI: Falcons over Patriots

What did you think of the new format? It’s closer to the traditional 5&1 format that you see around 411Mania, and while I did make some omissions (5 Things anyone?), it’s going to help me create the time I need if I am going to make this thing work. Can you handle those changes? Let me know!

Vote in Versus, talk about wrestling, have fun!

Until next time…

Listen to the show!