The Wrestling News Experience: 12.12.11

Posted by Stephen Randle on 12.12.2011

In this Experience, we've got Final Resolution results and a preview for tonight's Slammy Awards on Raw, plus I've heard enough of Michael Cole, Chyna starts a new career, and as usual, a wrestler from North Carolina gets in legal trouble!

Monday, December 12th, 2011

From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!


Going To Regionals!

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, looking bravely forward to a world where Community isn't airing on Thursday nights. It'll be tough, but I'm sure I won't snap and blame all you morons who decided to watch American Idol and Jersey Shore instead of television that actually might make you pay attention and use your brain instead. I mean, you wonder why there's nothing good on TV, it's because nobody watches the good stuff and it gets shelved/re-tooled/cancelled so they can run another season of Fear Factor instead. Joe Rogan sucks!

Moving on.



Larry had the live coverage.

RVD defeated Christopher Daniels (pinfall, Frog Splash)

Robbie E defeated Eric Young to retain the TNA TV Title (pinfall, lungblower)

Matt Morgan and Crimson defeated Devon and The Pope to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles (Crimson pinned Devon, double chokeslam)

Austin Aries defeated Kid Kash to retain the TNA X Division Title (pinfall, brainbuster)

Gail Kim defeated Mickie James to retain the TNA Knockouts Title (pinfall, Eat De-feet)

James Storm defeated Kurt Angle (pinfall, Superkick)

Jeff Hardy defeated Jeff Jarrett in a Steel Cage Match to earn a TNA World Title shot (pinfall, Twist of Fate). Jeff or Karen Jarrett (come on, guess) will be fired on Impact

Robert Roode vs AJ Styles in an Iron Man Match went to a 3-3 draw. Roode retains the TNA World Title



Tonight, Raw is three hours long yet again, so that they may present the now-annual Slammy Awards, celebrating the best (and other) of 2011. No Dennis Miller this year, but hey, someone will win Superstar of the Year, don't you want to know who?

Last week, we learned that CM Punk will defend the WWE Title against not one, but two men in a TLC Triple Threat match at…well, TLC, of course. Punk, always a fan of traditions, ended the night by turning the contract signing for the match into a brawl where he put both Alberto Del Rio and The Miz, his challengers, through a table. Will Punk's hot streak continue tonight, with only seven days until the PPV?

John Cena could have been in that title match, but because he refused to lay down for Zack Ryder because apparently he only realized he gets WWE Title shots every time he turns around after he already won the match, he sacrificed his spot in the match so that Ryder could earn a shot at Dolph Ziggler's United States title. Now that Ryder has secured his shot, can he keep momentum going tonight as he prepares to meet Ziggler at TLC?

And despite what I said last week, apparently we're only one week away from Triple H vs Kevin Nash in a Sledgehammer Ladder Match, which would be an interesting stipulation if sledgehammers weren't already legal in ladder matches because the only way to win ladder matches is to climb them and retrieve whatever is hanging there. But apparently not in this one. Anyway, this is going to happen, so will Triple H finally be in the house to face off with his former best friend?

All this and much more, tonight on Slammy Awards Raw Supershow!



Commentary About Commentary

This isn't really going to cover any new territory, but in the wake of Friday's Smackdown, something has to be said.

Michael Cole is a cancer. He is a cancer and I am…hey, Lou, what cures cancer?

But seriously, Michael Cole is probably the single biggest problem with WWE today. Or if he's not, he's the biggest symptom of a larger problem. Simply put, he has no reason to exist in his current form. He's a play-by-play announcer who ignores play-by-play to talk about himself, and the things and people he hates. Which is most people. And it was never more noticeable than this past Friday, where Booker T was absent from the commentary table, leaving the pair of soft-spoken Josh Matthews, and bombastic Cole, who took every opportunity to talk over Josh, ranting about anything and everything and generally being unpleasant for no reason other than…he's supposed to be a heel.

But he's a heel who doesn't wrestle. And he doesn't manage a wrestler who might use his status as most hated individual in the world, like Vicki Guerrero. He isn't even really feuding with anyone, except maybe Daniel Bryan, who he will never face in a real match anyway.

You know, I was not happy, but accepting, of Heel Cole when he was clearly setting up for a feud with Lawler. I figured, he'll be a dick, he'll get his big comeuppance, and we'll go back to normal. But then they kept delaying the blowoff, and after he got his big beating at the hands of those he insulted, he went back to the announce booth and…kept being a dick. They even brought back JR so Cole could continue being a dick to him, and even when that feud was settled, JR still ended up gone again and Cole was right back, behind the desk…being a dick. And now there's nobody to shut him up. There's no ending for this story. We're just stuck with him.

I don't get it. It's not like everyone didn't already hate him when he was a quiet, barely competent, face-by-default play-by-play guy. Can't we go back to that? At least then I won't feel like I should really be watching WWE with the sound off, to protect my sanity, if nothing else.

They'll Call Anyone A "Star" These Days

Well, this was really only a matter of time, and if anywhere should not be shocked that someone would pay money for this, it's people on the Internet, but anyway, here we go. It was officially discovered that former WWE Women's Champion and the woman who has slept with a significant percentage of The Clique, Chyna, is now officially listed as a Los Angeles Porn Star Escort. Don't ask me who was researching this information, I'm just reporting it.

Anyway, that's pretty much rock bottom for, let's face it, one of the all-around oddest stories in pro wrestling, which is only really shocking if you thought she hit rock bottom years ago when those pictures from the Howard Stern Show surfaced. Of course, that was just another way in which Chyna did everything differently: Most women get into porn first, then end up on Stern's show.

I wonder if this will make it onto WWE.com's "Where Are They Now" section?

Team Extreme Hat Trick!

So, you thought we were done with the Hardys? Well, we were, because at this point there's very little left for Jeff or Matt to do that would even make us blink hard at this point. But we forgot about the third member, since I would assume you lose membership in that group once you start screwing around with someone else. Well, with Jeff behaving himself in TNA and Matt somewhere between rehab and back in jail depending on the day of the week, it fell to Lita to keep their crazy, law-skirting reputation in the news. And she did not disappoint, getting picked up for speeding and driving with a suspended license, and ended up in jail awaiting bail this weekend. Sure, it's no "possession with intent to distribute" or "driving while high on Somas", but at least she ended up behind bars, right?

Seriously, is there something in the water in North Carolina? In the last year alone, you've got Jeff and Matt spiralling out of control, plus their little buddy Shane Helms wrapping a car around an object as well, and now Lita's in (admittedly lesser) trouble with the law, and we're not even counting NC native R-Truth getting poked for Wellness last month, or whatever Charlotte's increasingly less-favourite son Ric Flair could potentially flip out and do at any moment. Plus there's that Cam Newton guy, he's not even human. I mean, he's no Tebow, but…I'm getting sidetracked.

Ah well, at least Lita picked a weekend where she'll only be in second place in the "Most Embarassing Action Performed By A Former WWE Women's Champion". Fourth, if you count Gail Kim and Mickie James wrestling for TNA on Sunday.

1. CM Punk

The Triple Threat stipulation is intimidating, but even though WWE once again seems determined to change their World titles every chance they get, I'm not sweating Punk's chances against the slumping Del Rio and the suddenly up-jumped Miz.

2. Wade Barrett

Orton may have barely beaten the clock, but Barrett has been absolutely dominant lately, even though his formerly tightly controlled hairstyle seems to be failing more each week.

3. Cody Rhodes

He wrestles, he does commentary, he takes out Booker T because why not, it's not like there are any challengers to his IC title among active Smackdown wrestlers. Only problem is, does anyone think Booker has a chance of winning the title next Sunday?

4. Sheamus

The Jolly Green Giant continues to steamroll pretty much everyone in his path, and clearly should be Henry's next challenger. It's a shame that I'm pretty sure Orton-Barrett is the #1 Contender's match. When will Sheamus get back to the main event spot that he richly deserves?

5. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler can't buy a win this week, but his work has been so outstanding even in defeat that you can't entirely be mad. Plus, it's not like he lost to slouches, getting beat by the clearly superior Sheamus and Randy Orton. At least he's not being forced to bounce around for Mason Ryan again.

6. Bobby Roode

Well, that's one way to end an Iron Man match. Not particularly a good way, but Roode retains in a hard-fought match. So does AJ get a rematch, or is Jeff Hardy's shot next in line?

7. Booker T

Much like Peyton Manning deserves NFL MVP for clearly being the only reason the Colts ever win a game, Booker T deserves more credit because clearly, when he's not at the announce table, things just go straight to hell.

8. Shannon Moore

Hey, he's the only former OMEGA member who hasn't screwed up in some spectacular way, which is surprising when you remember we're talking about the guy who's known for having hair spikes taller than he is.

9. Teddy Long

I know outsmarting a lawyer should be harder, but it is David Otunga. Teddy brings the facts and finally definitively answers a long-running question about why GM's can put people from the other brand in matches on their show. It's not often we get that kind of clarity out of WWE.

10. Tim Tebow

Wait, what?

Okay, now it's gone too far.

Inactive List as of 12.05.11

WWE Raw

- Chris Jericho, out indefinitely as of September 27th, 2010 (punt-related injury)
- Goldust, out indefinitely (torn rotator cuff)
- Husky Harris, out indefinitely as of January 31st (punt-related injury)
- Kharma, out 9 months as of May 23rd (pregnancy)
- Rey Mysterio, out indefinitely as of August 23rd (knee surgeries)
- R-Truth, out 30 days as of November 22nd (Wellness)

WWE SmackDown

- Christian, out 6-8 weeks as of November 13th (ankle)
- Kane, out 3 months as of July 22nd (broken leg)
- Layla El, out indefinitely as of May 23rd (ACL/MCL surgery)
- Sin Cara, out 6-9 months as of November 20th (ruptured patella)

TNA

- Chris Sabin, out indefinitely
- James Storm, day-to-day as of November 17th (concussion)
- Ric Flair, out 4-6 months as of September 14th (tricep)

Transactions

- James Storm, TNA, returned to in-ring competition on December 11th



WWE

WWE Champion: CM Punk
- 22 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Alberto Del Rio and The Miz, TLC Match, TLC PPV

World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry
- 78 day reign, defeated Randy Orton on September 18th (Night of Champions PPV)
- Next title defense: vs The Big Show, Chairs Match, TLC PPV

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes
- 115 day reign, defeated Ezekiel Jackson on August 12th (Smackdown)
- Next title defense: vs Booker T, TLC PPV

WWE United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler
- 169 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston on June 19th (Capitol Punishment PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Zack Ryder, TLC PPV

WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne
- 105 day reign, defeated David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty on August 22nd (Raw)

WWE Divas' Champion: Beth Phoenix
- 64 day reign, defeated Kelly Kelly on October 2nd (Hell in a Cell PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Robert Roode
- 39 day reign, defeated James Storm on November 3rd (Impact)

TNA Tag Team Champions: Crimson and Matt Morgan
- 25 day reign, defeated Mexican America on November 17th (Impact)

TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries
- 85 day reign, defeated Brian Kendrick on September 11th (No Surrender PPV)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
- 29 day reign, defeated Velvet Sky on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
- 39 day reign, defeated Miss Tessmacher and Tara on November 3rd (Impact)

TNA Television Champion: Robbie E
- 29 day reign, defeated Eric Young on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)



De Marco has the Wrestling 6&1.

Martell has The Triple Threat.

Kirk has The Wrestling Sandwich.

Ari has Column of Honor.



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Here it is, your Moment of Buddy



Buddy Was Tebow Before Tebow.


Okay, now it's gone too far.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.