The Wrestling News Experience: 12.19.11

Posted by Stephen Randle on 12.19.2011

In this Experience, we have TLC results and exclusive feedback, plus a preview for tonight's Raw, some new merchandising options for John Cena, and way more news about Chyna than you'd believe would be possible in 2011.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!


Bigger Than Tebow

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and it looks like it's going to be a White Christmas around here, so I hope everyone's happy about that. Especially those who will use it as proof that climate change as a myth, because if you're going to be an idiot, you might as well be happy about it.

So, I hear the Blue Jays might get Yu Darvish. I swear, at least one of these rumours had better pay off, because that's at least the fifth big ticket guy they've apparently had the inside track on in the past month, and we still haven't actually signed anyone.

Moving on.



Slimmer has the live coverage. I have the less-than-totally-live coverage.

Zack Ryder defeated Dolph Ziggler to win the WWE United States title (pinfall, Rough Ryder)

Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne defeated Primo and Epico to retain the WWE Tag Team titles (Kofi pinned Primo, Trouble in Paradise)

Randy Orton defeated Wade Barrett in a Tables Match

Okay, here's where I came home from work. I know, you were worried we'd go the whole thing without my comments. That's nice of you to appreciate my work like that.

Yes, I'm sure Teddy Long really cares about the concerns of Jobbin' Jack Swagger.

It's the return of "Old Country Anecdotes" with Sheamus! I've missed stories of his wacky friends and family from Ireland. And as a present, he gets to kill Jack Swagger. Apparently they realized they were running really short tonight. That or they realized that Nash-HHH can't go longer than five minutes.

Speaking of unannounced filler matches…

Beth Phoenix defeated Kelly Kelly to retain the WWE Divas' title (pinfall, Glam Slam)

TWNE Rating: NR – This match gets no rating and likes it. Why? Because I'm goddamned tired of Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix. Hopefully this final victory allows us to move on to something more interesting. But we'll probably get Beth vs Alicia Fox next instead.

So when even fellow heel The Miz is talking about how boring his title reign was, does that add a ring of truth to the rumours that the office has soured on Del Rio?

And Cody attacks Booker before the match, apparently for the second time during the PPV. I'm not sure we need to protect the essentially retired announcer this much, guys.

You know, there's a chance that the video package and combined entrances might be longer than this match.

Wow, that elbow off the announce table might have been impressive if they didn't have to telegraph it so that Nash could "run" into range.

And we're doing "exhausted" sell spots two minutes in. Remember when I hated that about HHH-Taker? Now take out Undertaker and replace him with his slower, less mobile, less talented counterpart. No, not Brian Lee.

You know, I know wrestling fans have no memories, but saying "I can't believe these two used to be best friends" is inane, because the last time Nash was in WWE, they did the exact same storyline where they were best friends and one turned on the other, except Nash was the face. In fact, everyone who has been Triple H's best friend has turned on him or been turned on at least once in their WWE career. There's a reason everyone was waiting for him to turn on Punk when he was in charge of Raw, you know.

Oh good, the announcers are so bored that Cole's moving into super-irritating "heel" mode. By which I mean he's getting louder and more whiny than usual.

I love the camera angles required to make it seem like Nash managed to sneak up on Triple H while he's climbing.

So…after that contrived spot (yes, I know, it's a ladder match, they're all contrived spots), is the sledgehammer even necessary at this point?

Wait…Nash is up! Nice of him to sell falling off a ladder through a table after taking a few sledgehammer hits for a whole five seconds..

HAHAHAHAHA! Nash blew the climactic Pedigree spot!

So, wait…he doesn't need the sledgehammer to beat Nash, but…he uses the sledgehammer to get the pin?

Triple H defeated Kevin Nash in a Sledgehammer Ladder Match (pinfall, Sledgehammer)

TWNE RATING: ** - Not as bad as it could have been, although Nash blowing the big final spot was hilarious. I know there has to be a certain lack of selling in these type of matches, but Nash was literally popping up from everything (including that final Pedigree) in five seconds or less. I mean, it makes up for the fact he literally can't move at a speed above a saunter, but it was still pretty bad.

So Johnny Ace mailed the Slammy to Punk. People still use the mail outside of Amazon anymore? Ooh, Ace makes a height joke. Remember when you decreed that everyone promoted from OVW had to be over six feet tall, Johnny? How'd that work out for everyone?

Sheamus defeated Jack Swagger (pinfall, Brogue Kick)

TWNE Rating: **1/4 – This was an extended squash for Sheamus, but I'm rating it over the previous match because I like Sheamus a lot more than either HHH or Nash. That's right, star ratings are subjective, who knew.

Oh geez, Show is wearing a camo singlet. Turns out it really doesn't work in every situation.

I really don't like how they've made Mark Henry way too afraid of Show. The whole thing behind his rise to World champion was about how he wasn't scared of anyone and how he took out all the biggest guys on the roster to become the ultimate monster in WWE.

What the hell? Well, that's going to screw up my picks.

The Big Show defeated Mark Henry to win the World Heavyweight title (pinfall, WMD)

TWNE Rating: ** - About what you'd expect from these two, but it was really short and ended so abruptly. But wait just a second…

OH YES! I was right about this, at least! Not sure why they made him cash on Show, but whatever!

Daniel Bryan defeated The Big Show to win the World Heavyweight title by cashing in Money in the Bank

Rumour apparently is that Henry might have a serious knee injury, which makes sense given the finish, since it transfers to a Bryan-Show re-match instead of Bryan-Henry if Mark truly can't go.

You know, I know I'm going to watch WWE Network, assuming Canada also gets it, but this stupid dubstep promo is starting to piss me off. Actually, dubstep in general just pisses me off. It's not even really music!

Well, at least this time they made Cody enter first so he can't ambush Booker.

Cody Rhodes defeated Booker T to retain the WWE Intercontinental title (pinfall, Beautiful Disaster x2)

TWNE Rating: **1/2 – A decent match, but the outcome really wasn't in doubt, and I don't understand why they felt they had to have Cody attack Booker T all night. I don't think anyone really thought Cody would have trouble hanging with Booker, even if Booker wasn't essentially at the end of his career.

Well, at least with the PPV recap, they're focussing on Ryder and Bryan's title wins, instead of, say, the ladder match.

Hmm…we're at 10:30 when the entrances finish for the TLC match. I wonder how close to 11 they're planning to get in order to give this the time it deserves.

Rodriguez handcuffs Punk to a ladder! Damn, that's clever.

I mean, Del Rio trying to climb the ladder Punk is attached to is stupidity incarnate, but still, at least Rodriguez is smart.

Also, after Punk frees himself, he's now attached to a foot-and-a-half length of chain on his forearm that he can use as a weapon. So, I guess that's a total backfire in the end.

You know, if Del Rio had shown this much fire in any of his matches while he was champion, he might have been more successful as champion.

Holy crap, Rodriguez takes a hardcore bump off the ladder through a table. And he didn't pop back up right away…go figure.

And now Miz handcuffs Punk to the ring post. Sense of impending doom…rising…

Good thing they teach all wrestlers how to disassemble the ring.

Whew. Was worried for half a second.

CM Punk defeated The Miz and Alberto Del Rio in a TLC Match to retain the WWE title

TWNE Rating: **** - Clearly match of the night, and you can't help but wonder if the other matches were kept less impressive by design. Also they spaced out Ryder's win, Bryan's win, and Punk's win, which was very definitely intentional. Everyone brought the working boots, if I had one complaint it'd be that Miz really never seemed like he had a moment to shine, other than the brief three seconds before Punk realized he could still kick him in the head while handcuffed. That and I wanted it to be longer because it was great. Anyway, we get Punk, Bryan, and Ryder as champions at the end of this, so be nice and thank WWE for the unexpectedly cool Christmas present.



Last night, CM Punk retained the WWE Title in an awesome TLC match with Alberto Del Rio and The Miz! As 2011 comes to a close with Punk as champion, we can only ask ourselves: could this get any better? We'll see what Johnny Ace has to say about the Second City Saint once again beating some long odds and remaining a thorn in the side of the Interim Raw GM.

Plus, we must now look ahead to 2012 and the first PPV of the year is always one of the biggest. I'm talking, of course, about the Royal Rumble, and while we don't know if WWE will try to duplicate the previous Rumble's 40-man event, we do know that everyone who isn't already WWE or World Champion wants to be in that match, and they'll be climbing all over each other to secure a spot in it.

Also, Triple H put Kevin Nash away decisively in their Sledgehammer Ladder Match last night, so hopefully that's all over with. But now, what will Triple H do with his free time? I hear that somebody might not have been thrilled with what he said during his Slammy acceptance speech last week…

Oh, and Kane is back, fully masked and apparently fully motivated, and his first target may indeed be John Cena. How will Cena respond to the monstrous assault he suffered at the end of Raw last week?

All this and more as we deal with the fallout from TLC, tonight on Raw!



I Don't Know How To Feel Now

So, some interesting John Cena-related news from the merchandise aisles, which makes sense since he wasn't even at TLC, which I believe is the first time he hasn't been booked on a PPV while being healthy to compete since…well, I don't know exactly, but I'm pretty sure he was still hanging out with Bull Buchanan at the time. Anyway, the first bit is some interesting cross-promotion with a certain children's breakfast cereal featuring the characters from the Flintstones. That's right, John Cena is now appearing on boxes of Fruity Pebbles to promote a WWE ticket contest giveaway. As marketing gimmicks go, this was the biggest no-brainer since bringing back WWE ice cream bars. Hint, hint.

But we move on, and it seems that WWE has done something unprecedented with their alleged top face and merchandise seller (although both those roles seem to be moving more and more towards CM Punk, don't they): they've started selling "Cena Sucks" shirts, at least according to house show reports from the weekend. Well, that's just genius and I'm surprised they hadn't done this before now. Now you can sell Cena-related merchandise to both people who love him and people who hate him. It's like printing free money…twice! Now, we'll have to wait for Raw tonight to see if those shirts make an appearance, either in the audience or in advertisements during the show, but I, for one, am clearly interested in what those shirts look like, if they really exist.

Damn, they're not on WWEShop.com yet. I was hoping to be able to show you a picture. Ah well, we'll know soon enough.

That's not soon enough!



- Chyna has said that she would love to have at least one more match. Um, WWE has fired Divas just for having a few nude pictures on the Internet that they didn't tell them about. So, I'd probably put the odds at it happening really, really low.

- Speaking of which, did somebody really send in a "live report" of Chyna's first night as a stripper? And here I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore.

- Ric Flair said in an interview that he'd love to move to LA to help support recently traded NBA player Chris Paul, who apparently he gives inspirational messages to, but unfortunately, the Nature Boy couldn't afford a bus ticket. Talking about not being fare to Flair.

- If you think I mis-spelled "fair", that joke wasn't for you.

- Chris Jericho said on Twitter that his band Fozzy will be recording from January until March, and will apparently be locked inside the recording studio that whole time, so there's no possible way he could be the guy coming back to WWE on January 2nd. No sir.

- Brock Lesnar skipped out on court in Canada last week, where he's facing charges for violations of the Alberta Fish and Wildlife Act. Because you can do a lot of things in Canada, but you had better not mess with our moose.

- Seriously, those things are dangerous.

- And WWE Classics on Demand will be shutting down on January 1st to pave the way for WWE Network even though it doesn't start until four months later. Well, at least that's ten bucks off my cable bill.

1. Daniel Bryan

Yeah, no kidding. Who knows how long this is going to last, but he cashed in, he won the match, and after years and years and year of being "King of the Indies", Daniel Bryan is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Who could have ever seen that coming?

2. Zack Ryder

And coming in just behind is the other guy who worked his ass off to earn some WWE gold, as Ryder goes from the JOB Squad to his first ever singles gold in WWE, and there's nobody who can say he didn't deserve that moment.

3. CM Punk

Let's fill out the trifecta with the Superstar of the Year, and enjoy the moment where we have three singles Champions in WWE that we really, really like. Like, a lot. Plus I'm sure some people are cool with Cody Rhodes as well.

4. Kane

Well, the mask is back, but is the monster? I can't see a future in a feud with Cena, but it'll give him a reason not to be in the Rumble or the Chamber seeking WWE Title shots instead, and at least it's not boring!

5. Cody Rhodes

We were speaking of Rhodes earlier, and he did retain his title, even if there wasn't much doubt of that. Still, a good showing from Rhodes who continues to rise up through the ranks in WWE. If Henry is in fact injured, I believe that makes him the #1 active heel on Smackdown. Sorry, Wade, it's true.

6. Sheamus

He did win all three matches he had last week, and convincingly. Okay, so the first one against Mahal wasn't really a match, but I'm still counting it. The good news is, with the Rumble and the Chamber matches available for the next two PPVs, his lack of feud won't really matter until WrestleMania.

7. Big Show

A token win for Show, but I hadn't realized it has been nine years since he held a World title. By which I mean, clearly WWE has even retroactively removed the "World" status from the ECW title, even though they made a big deal of it when Show won the thing.

8. Bobby Roode

Well, at least he was eventually the real winner of the Iron Man Match, although I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to get five days off before overtime starts.

9. Randy Orton

We'll be fair, nobody expected Barrett to win this match anyway, so Orton still gets partial credit for helping Wade get his momentum back after being aimless for most of 2011

10. Beth Phoenix

Looks like she finally figured out how to beat the awesome power of Kelly Kelly's unbreakable surprise roll-up finish. Can we move on, now?

Inactive List as of 12.12.11

WWE Raw

- Chris Jericho, out indefinitely as of September 27th, 2010 (punt-related injury)
- Goldust, out indefinitely (torn rotator cuff)
- Husky Harris, out indefinitely as of January 31st (punt-related injury)
- Kharma, out 9 months as of May 23rd (pregnancy)
- Rey Mysterio, out indefinitely as of August 23rd (knee surgeries)
- R-Truth, out 30 days as of November 22nd (Wellness)

WWE SmackDown

- Christian, out 6-8 weeks as of November 13th (ankle)
- Kane, out 3 months as of July 22nd (broken leg)
- Layla El, out indefinitely as of May 23rd (ACL/MCL surgery)
- Sin Cara, out 6-9 months as of November 20th (ruptured patella)

TNA

- Chris Sabin, out indefinitely
- Ric Flair, out 4-6 months as of September 14th (tricep)

Transactions

- Jeff and Karen Jarrett, TNA, "fired" from TNA on December 15th Impact

- Jesse Neal, TNA, released from his contract

- Kane, SD!, returned to action on December 12th Raw, moved to Raw brand



WWE

WWE Champion: CM Punk
- 29 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)

**NEW** World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show
- 2 minute reign, defeated Mark Henry in a Chair Match on December 18th (TLC PPV)

**NEWER** World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan
- 1 day reign, defeated The Big Show by cashing in Money in the Bank on December 18th (TLC PPV)

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes
- 122 day reign, defeated Ezekiel Jackson on August 12th (Smackdown)

**NEW** WWE United States Champion: Zack Ryder
- 1 day reign, defeated Dolph Ziggler on December 18th (TLC PPV)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne
- 112 day reign, defeated David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty on August 22nd (Raw)

WWE Divas' Champion: Beth Phoenix
- 71 day reign, defeated Kelly Kelly on October 2nd (Hell in a Cell PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode
- 46 day reign, defeated James Storm on November 3rd (Impact)
- Next title defense: vs Jeff Hardy, Genesis PPV

TNA Tag Team Champions: Crimson and Matt Morgan
- 32 day reign, defeated Mexican America on November 17th (Impact)

TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries
- 92 day reign, defeated Brian Kendrick on September 11th (No Surrender PPV)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
- 36 day reign, defeated Velvet Sky on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
- 46 day reign, defeated Miss Tessmacher and Tara on November 3rd (Impact)

TNA Television Champion: Robbie E
- 36 day reign, defeated Eric Young on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)



De Marco has The Wrestling 5&1.

Terra has The Hot Stuff.

Wright has The Hell Report.

Kirk has The Wrestling Sandwich.



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