wrestling / Columns

The Wrestling Sandwich 12.31.11

December 31, 2011 | Posted by Wes Kirk

Tonight, we have a very special edition of the Wrestling Sandwich with the Best Of 2011 edition! You’ll still get your top news and smartest/dumbest things of the week but the rest of the column is going to be a look back at the number one regular weekend column on 411. Oh, how I love being able to say that! Obviously I’m going to start training for the 411 Staff Rumble to win the whole damn thing but first, let us all say welcome back to a man who never met a bar tab he wouldn’t blame on somebody else, my 411 Pro Steve Cook!

Steve Cook: Wes, thanks for having your 411 Pro back for old times’ sake. For those of you wondering where the heck I’ve been…

Well, where the heck have you been? I’ve been all over the place on this friggin’ website. Every Tuesday I produce News From Cook’s Corner, the best damn wrestling news column on these here Internets. Tuesday nights you can catch me on The Greg DeMarco Show, where Greg & Phil O’Dowd have me on to talk about the top stories in the world of professional wrestling. It’s being streamed worldwide on VOCnation.com as we speak. I host Wrestling Fact or Fiction, which is posted every Thursday here at 411. You can catch me most Friday nights on The 411 on Wrestling, where Larry Csonka & I shoot the bull on SmackDown, Impact and anything else going on in the world of wrestling. I just finished the first season of the Offtheteam.com Fantasy Football Podcast, where Trent Howell & I previewed each week of the NFL season from a fantasy perspective, along with giving our takes on such matters as Tim Tebow & BiBi Jones. It was a damn good time, and we’ll be back next season for more fantasy football fun.

So I’ve been a wee bit busy…but when Wes invited me to come back to put a bow on 2011, I simply couldn’t resist. How have things been going for you, old buddy? More importantly, where’s the booze you promised me?

Wes Kirk: Probably in the liver of half the commenters here. But honestly, did you really think I would give alcohol as a gift? But I decided to be good and get you Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy issue and a country fried steak from Chili’s with a special gift of James Storm’s theme song from TNA’s online shopping site! Now you can sing along with “Longnecks and Rednecks” and blast it when you go bar hunting. As far as I go, most of the people who hate me are so pathetic it is like shooting fish in a barrel with a mini-gun. They get made to look awful every week so how could I possibly complain? Plus, apparently I have a fan club or something. Cool stuff.

So off we go to the top stories of the week and then back down memory lane to check out all the great Sandwich moments!

Top Stories of the Week!

1. Weekly Ratings Roundup

TNA Impact – 1.0, 1.36 million viewers – slightly down from last week
WWE Smackdown – 1.9, 2.7 million viewers – slightly down from last week
WWE RAW – 2.9, 4.4 million viewers – Slightly up from last week

This week everything but RAW went down slightly, and even then RAW only rose a tiny bit – 0.01 to be exact. Interesting facts about these numbers from 411 posts throughout the week:

– This is the smallest amount of Smackdown viewers in 14 weeks dating back to September.

– The show is Raw’s fourth straight week below a 3.0 rating. It is the first week in eight weeks that the show actually rose viewership in the second hour, with the first hour averaging 4.33 million viewers and the second going up to 4.59 million viewers.

Impact continues to do within the general area it always does which is 1.0-1.3 and remains steady. Smackdown is slightly down but nothing significant, and RAW had a slight rise but nothing to write home about. Unfortunately for RAW, with every bit of good news came some bad news as the rating rose slightly but their target demo dropped, and the second hour stopped dropping this week but it still went under the 3.0 mark. Fans are just not finding anything on all three shows worth spreading the word about, and unfortunately that’s bad for the business right now. The expectation, of course, is that ratings will pick up after the conference championships leading to the Superbowl where the Patriots will slaughter every one of your nickel-and-dime teams and claim their rightful place as the champions of the world. Eat it!

2. TNA Impact Quick Recap

No time this week – Read Greg De Marco’s insightful coverage instead with TNA Impact Wrestling Report

3. Did You Know? WWE Still Censors Fans!

From earlier in the week:

“- Various fans have reported that WWE is confiscating signs promoting Colt Cabana, Cliff Compton and Cabana’s Art of Wrestling podcast. Cabana is a Chicago native.”

So much for ever getting Cabana in the WWE, or Compton to make a return either. I gotta love these stories about how the WWE is so fan-friendly and then they go and steal your signs because they don’t want the content to air on their television show. I’ve witnessed much the same behavior the last time I attended a show as the security were either taking signs away or just basically sitting around bored off their ass.

4. You Can’t See Me…Paying Up!

John Cena, multi-millionaire wrestler, has found one opponent he apparently isn’t going to be able to beat by becoming invisible. Cena owes $15,214.92 to roofers who have now put a lien on his home until he pays them for the work done. The Sandwich delved a little deeper to get more information on the story:

First, the roofing was done in Florida and not Massachusetts. Also, the roofers may lay claim to the property, which means they could simply take the house if they are not paid and Cena is facing a lawsuit over the charges of non-payment. Apparently despite making more money than likely anybody else in the company outside The Rock this guy can’t even be bothered to pay people who fixed the leaks in his roof. Oh, you want to see what the mansion looks like that he lives in right? Okay:

Seems if he can afford this he can afford to pay the hard-working people who handled his roof. So much for the role model!

Smartest Thing of the Week: Starting That Slow Cena Heel Turn

I’ve maintained that WWE has a very limited number of options they can actually use to get people to keep tuning in as well as adding extra fans and one of those things is a Cena heel turn. I’d like to see Cena go heel because of the fact he’s constantly considered less successful than The Rock and Steve Austin although it appears now the idea is to start referencing the fact for over five years some fans actually chant that Cena Sucks. Upon McMahon suddenly realizing that, he seems to have put in play an idea that likely will involve Kane trying to prove a point to Cena and likely Cena ending up going full heel after WrestleMania or at the very event. Should Rock win, Cena might hit the AA and then apply an STF for a minute before letting go and getting booed like all hell as he finally tells the fans what they can go suck and returns to the more edgy rapper he started his heel career off with. Should Cena finally “embrace the hate” as Kane said and position himself as edgy and interesting to watch the WWE might be able to pop some ratings for a while, and that is what they need desperately right now.

Dumbest Thing of the Week: Blaming NFL And Other Shows For RAW’s Shit Ratings

Ugh, I see it time and time again posted in the news part of the site that RAW had a so-and-so rating buuuuuut it was against NFL, and this show, and that show, and the premiere of this or that… ENOUGH ALREADY! RAW has been against Monday Night Football since 1993! I think the excuses are about two decades too old at this point. It appears to be the work of some biased WWE fans to try and recite every possible reason RAW didn’t really do so badly yet TNA is the most horrible thing on the face of the earth whenever it draws a lower than average number against stiff competition. This past week, we had to put up with three paragraphs detailing how RAW was down overall BUT the second hour didn’t drop AND this and that demo were higher and it was 6th for the night in the ratings and blah, blah, blah! The bottom line is if the product sucks and people are tired of the same thing over and over force-fed to them they will eventually leave as they have been since 2002. Remember when RAW’s average rating was a 5? Neither does Vince, and he has only himself and his useless idiot staff to blame.

Bold Predictions – What Came True?

In what seems like another lifetime, Steve Cook and myself presented five bold predictions each for 2012. Here’s what I predicted and whether or not it actually did occur or if I was as fake as a WWE Diva’s breasts…

1. “Kelly Kelly WILL become Divas Champion this year. This actually is somewhat of an issue as Kelly is entering her fifth year in the WWE without ever holding a Woman’s or Diva’s championship once. Before 2011 ends, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Kelly will be the champion of the Divas division, although it might take well into the year before it happens since Kharma is debuting soon.”

IT HAPPENED! Kelly Kelly became the Divas Champion for the first time in her five-year career shortly after this was posted. Thanks to Kharma being out indefinitely due to her pregnancy, Kelly got the title earlier than expected.

2. “Sin Cara will be in a WWE or World Title Match at WrestleMania next year. I believe that the WWE will do the same approach as with Del Rio and put Cara at the top of the card, letting him slowly get used to the 20×20 ring and changing his timing accordingly. After a run on Smackdown, he’ll be ready to compete in big matches live and I think at WrestleMania he’ll follow in Alberto Del Rio’s footsteps and compete for one of the two biggest prizes in the company.”

PROBABLY WON’T HAPPEN! Oh boy did I ever put too much faith in Sin Cara or what? It still could technically happen but the chances are so low it isn’t even worth calling.

3. “Ted Dibiase will resurrect his career on Smackdown. Call me whatever names you want, since most of you do anyway, but I think Ted will get back on track once he appears on Smackdown. If he can wrestle and focus on improving his skills and team up with a charismatic partner or Diva, he could become a big force to contend with on Friday nights. He will go from an afterthought to a big name player this year.”

IT SEMI-HAPPENED! Dibiase is enjoying a rebirth as a face character, although it is pretty much generic. He has separated himself from his father, but he hasn’t as of yet really climbed up to the main event level although as predicted he improved once he came to Smackdown.

4. “Alberto Del Rio will become WWE champion before the end of September. Not the actual world title that he’s competing for Sunday but the WWE title currently held by the Miz. Simply put, he’s too good not to put a belt around at this point in his career with all the investment WWE has put into him and his gimmick, and they have to do something big to justify the expense. Becoming the 41st or 42nd WWE Champion would be the perfect move.”

IT HAPPENED! Mr. Del Rio became the 43rd WWE Champion when he pinned CM Punk, who had become the 41st, after Punk defeated John Cena. In case you are wondering who #42 was, that would be Rey Mysterio! And it happened at SummerSlam, a few weeks before September.

5. “Daniel Bryan will end up being made to look like a joke in a feud and/or angle on Smackdown. Cook, this isn’t personal! Bryan is the kind of guy we both like: He has exceptional skill and is exciting to watch, but also the kind of guy WWE loves to take a dump all over. Bryan’s second run in WWE has fizzled out quickly and I have a feeling he’ll end up being treated much like the usual WWE Superstars cast by just being a job guy for the bigger names before long. He will likely have a strong start, but then word will come down from the front office to depush him and we’ll end up with “Dancing Daniel” or some other disaster.”

IT HAPPENED! Before his mega-push with the MITB briefcase, remember Gail Kim and the Bellas? Daniel sure as hell doesn’t want to. Although that particular disaster was on RAW, when Daniel came to Smackdown he was basically jobbed out to wrestlers such as Wade Barrett week after week and Cole basically mouthing off at him every other second wasn’t helping matters. He actually lost tons of matches despite his status as MITB winner and he even had his original World title win nullified! Bryan is the champion now and getting his just due but at first, he did come to Smackdown looking more like a jobber for guys like Barrett and then-heel Sheamus and Michael Cole’s personal chew toy than a top-notch wrestler. As long as Michael Cole continues to berate Bryan the entire match the more he’ll end up eating into Bryan’s chance to become a truly memorable champion for the right reasons. Bryan/Cole at WM 28? Oh, I shouldn’t give them ideas!

Here are Steve Cook’s five predictions and what happened:

1. Mark Henry Will Be In A World Title Feud…And Win the Title. OK, I’m starting out with what seems like a bit of a slam-dunk considering what we saw on Raw, but my tag team partner was saying he’d get fired last week! Mizark knows that he’s approaching the end of his days as an active sports-entertainer, and he’s been working hard to get into the right shape for his last run. If Christian wins the World Title at Extreme Rules like most people are expecting, he’s going to be met with a guy that’s bigger than he is, stronger than he is, and a guy that will not be denied.

SC: Off to a good start here, as even though Mark had to wait until after Christian & Randy Orton feuded throughout the summer, he started entering victims into the Hall of Pain and became champion in September when he defeated Randy Orton at Night of Champions. Mark held the championship until December’s TLC event, where he lost the title to Big Show who lost it to Daniel Bryan. Mark had a damn good year on Smackdown, and hopefully his body will hold up so he can have a good 2012 as well.

2. Beth Phoenix will become Divas Champion…and eventually feud with Kharma. The Glamazon has been out of the title picture for far too long from where I sit, and now that she’s on Raw and has access to the Bella Twins…Brie & Nikki better come up with something quick or Beth’s going to get that title sooner rather than later. I think Beth will be built up because there needs to be somebody at the end of the trail of wrecked Divas that Kharma will leave in her wake. Beth’s her most believable & viable opponent on the roster, as she’s a very strong woman, a solid wrestler, and also happens to have blonde hair like a Barbie doll. They could have some Awesome matches together.

SC: I was half right on this one, as Beth has been Divas Champion since October. It didn’t quite happen the way as I expected, as she ended up going all Pinup Strong on us and beat Kelly Kelly for the title after Kelly dispatched of the Bellas. She won’t have a chance to feud with Kharma until 2012, but her & Natalya have both been teasing a feud with Kharma on Twitter lately. Perhaps we’ll see Beth vs. Kharma in a few months or so…

3. Drew McIntyre will find new purpose on Raw…as a babyface. When you look at the heel roster on Raw, it’s pretty stacked. Miz, Del Rio, Punk (for now), Ziggler, R-Truth, Swagger…there’s a pretty big list of talent there. Drew has shown the ability to get cheers before, as people were starting to side with him during the Kelly Kelly angle before that got randomly dropped. He made a New Year’s resolution to be a better person, and he was doing the Kofi Kingston boom clap on Raw this week. In my fantasy scenario, I would have Vince McMahon re-emerge to declare that Drew is no longer the Chosen One, and then Drew would have to work his way up the chain of heels before proving himself to Vince & the WWE Universe.

SC: Not even close, and it’s really disappointing to me. McIntyre has a ton of talent and is still having good matches on Superstars that nobody gets to see, but he’s had nothing close to a push since getting switched to Raw. I don’t think he’s appeared on Raw more than five times. We can hope that 2012 will hold better things for Drew, but the longer he remains on WWE Creative’s bad side, the more likely it is that he won’t get his proper shot there.

4. The Usos will have a Tag Team Title feud with Kane & Big Show. I’m not sold on them being the guys to unseat the Kane Show, but the fact that they bothered to keep these guys together while switching brands must mean something. Jimmy & Jey never really hit their stride on Raw…it seemed like management was high on them early, but after their feud with the Hart Dynasty they didn’t do much other than lose their valet. Perhaps Michael Hayes & the SD crew have some ideas for them.

SC: They decided to have Kane & Show lose the titles to David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty instead. Not the direction I would have gone. The Usos remain on the fringe of the tag title picture, as nowadays they’re putting over Epico & Primo so the Colon Cousins can get some credibility for a shot at Air Boom. At least they have a cool war dance now.

5. Natalya will turn heel and reform her alliance with Tyson Kidd. Neither of these two have accomplished much of anything without the other. After leaving the Hart Dynasty, Tyson went on to Superstars duty with a random job on Raw here & there, and a bodyguard that lasted two weeks. After losing the Divas title, Natalya’s done about as little as Tyson has. She needs something to do, and with a certain heel diva reportedly about to leave SmackDown, perhaps Natalya can find a place as a conniving biatch on that show, alongside her man. Neither are great actors, but if they’ve been dating since 2001 they should have some chemistry that the audience can pick up on.

SC: Another one where I was half right…Natalya did turn heel, but it had nothing to do with Tyson Kidd and they didn‘t interact until this week on Raw. It‘s like WWE remembered my prediction and decided to put them together just to stick it to Wes. Good times!

So I ended up having three that were at least partially right, and two that were completely off the mark. Not bad, right?

Wes Kirk: Looks like we both went three out of five! Although for the 2012 predictions in Top 5 I hired a professional psychic to make sure I go 5 for 5 next year!

Wrestlers To Watch I’ve listed in the past:

Alberto Del Rio was listed multiple times in the Sandwich as my wrestler to watch. After being spotlighted a few times, Del Rio ended up not only becoming the WWE champion but also becoming a two-time champion after winning Money In The Bank’s ladder match for RAW months earlier. I told you guys to keep an eye on him and at least at that point I was accurate. Since then, Del Rio has become more of an afterthought and has been written off for four to six weeks to rehabilitate a groin injury but hey, if nothing else he has the Bella Twins to help him get much better!

Robert Roode was able to do something very few wrestlers have the ability to do and that is, within a span of two months, go from being the top face in the company to the top heel. Roode captured the TNA Championship after turning heel and betraying the trust of his best friend James Storm and is now scheduled for a match with Jeff Hardy at Genesis after delivering a very good Ironman match with AJ Styles at Final Resolution. To say the least, this is the guy to keep your eyes on still as he can deliver on the mic and in the ring.

Like many of you, I’m a total CM Punk mark. There really needs to be no explanation needed as watching the man perform is enough to convince you he is a brilliant performer and magnificently explains all the problems with the company the same way many of us fans would love to say. Making Punk the voice of those of us in the IWC was a good booking maneuver, even if McMahon as usual can’t understand why people like Punk for it, and Punk was allowed to show the skills he’d had all along for the last five years. Thankfully, his future continues to look bright and change has come to the WWE at long last. The question is, will the changing of the guard continue or will recent plummeting ratings and buyrates cost him and the other new champions their chances?

Babes To Watch Listed in the Past

Melina is one of my favorites because of her immense flexibility and her ability to play a spoiled rotten princess so well. I’ve said that things are on the horizon for her, and sure enough after getting out of the WWE she seems to be headed towards TNA with her real-life boyfriend John Morrison. If this happens, we’ll be seeing Melina likely receive the push of her life, as the other girls who departed WWE found out.

Often mentioned as having accomplished more in some weeks than most male wrestlers, Gail Kim delivered on her return to Impact Wrestling. Ever since her debut, she’s been booked excellently and has delivered in the ring and shown she’s willing to sacrifice her own well-being for the fans even if she has to act like she doesn’t care for them as a heel. Kim was nothing but an afterthought in the WWE, not even noticed as she rolled out of a battle royal earlier this year, and then headed to TNA with a massive resurgence. She began cutting better promos, wrestling better matches, and with the exposure and some time off from the negative attitude in the WWE locker room, became a big winner in TNA’s Knockouts division. Kim is one of the many who have come from WWE and found greater success in TNA, where women’s wrestling matters!

I knew from the start Winter’s entrance into TNA would be something interesting but wow! Although considered crap by a lot of people, her storyline gave her more exposure in a few weeks to the wrestling fans than she’d had in three years working with the WWE. Winter also was given the Knockouts tag title on her very first match, in which she came into the ring to defend Angelina Love and beat two women to take the belts. Winter would go on to become a two-time Knockouts Champion and has had more time to wrestle and speak on the mic than at any time in her WWE career. Another case of ditching the company who only cares about models and becoming successful elsewhere.

Steve used to use a fun section called Indycent Exposure to showcase the matches and pictures of various underrated independent wrestlers who weren’t signed to a big two deal. How did some of his picks fare? Oh, and fine, here’s the damn picture!

Steve Cook: Indycent Exposure was my attempt to give indy wrestlers more notoriety than they receive in most columns on this website, which isn’t much. While it was short lived, we did manage to cover several top indy stars, three of which I shall update you on below.

Chuck Taylor

Sexy Chucky T was the very first person to be featured in Indycent Exposure, and it was a perfect choice since we are both Kentucky Gentlemen. Chuck has had a very successful year in EVOLVE, as he’s tied atop their leader board with Johnny Gargano. Gargano & Taylor have been tied together all year, as they’re faction-mates in Dragon Gate USA & CHIKARA, where they won the tag team championships from Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw in September. 2011 was a great year for Taylor, and I’m expecting him to take another step up in 2012.

Eddie Edwards

We talked about Eddie right after he won the ROH title in March. His title reign lasted until late-June, when he lost it to his long-time tag team partner Davey Richards. Eddie’s remained in the ROH title picture since then and has been pushed as one of ROH’s top guys on their weekly television show airing on Sinclair Broadcasting Group stations. Which, on a related note, makes ROH not really an indy anymore. Edwards main evented last week’s Final Battle iPPV in a losing effort against Davey Richards that people either really loved or really hated.

The Colony

We covered the Colony after they won the CHIKARA King of Trios Tournament. Green Ant had a pretty interesting year for himself, as he took a Flex Express bus tour across the CHIKARA territory in preparation for his match with Tursas. Lex Luger even joined Green Ant for one of these segments, which is pretty damn cool because he’s Lex Luger. He lost that match, but he would go on to beat the giant later in the year. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant earned enough points to challenge for the tag team championships, but lost to Team FIST at one of CHIKARA’s last shows of the year. It wasn’t a perfect year for the Colony, but it was still quite successful.

The Five Best Commenter Feuds of the Year

Yeah, I’m bringing it back for this ONE…SHOT…DEAL!


Haters gonna hate, here we set ’em straight!

5. The Class of 1999 Strikes Back!

It was a while ago that one of the people who just stayed stuck in their high school senior year decided to poke some fun at me by comparing me to some skinny weasel in his school that he and his fellow jocks got bashed by on the radio and then got even with by shady, possibly non-legal methods. Here was the first comment he made that opened the whole can of worms…

“You know, back in high school, we used to have a kid named Matt (deleted) do morning radio. He would give our sports’ teams results and every now and then he would drop some snide personal opinion when we’d lose (which was not often for a Pennsylvania AAAA school). He had his occasional cronies who he’d bring on-air, and they thought he was the greatest thing since Don Imus.

However, despite him thinking he was hot shit, our entire graduating class despised his holier-than-thou, drunk-on-miniscule-amount-of-power ass. When confronted by the athletes about his derogatory statements, he didn’t retaliate…he ran and told his staff advisor and principal about being “threatened.”

I can’t help but be struck by the parallels here ((deleted) = Wes Kirk, Mindless Cronies = Spencer/Fuj, Graduating Class who Despised Him = People with Common Sense, Athletes Who Stood up for Themselves = Frame, Principal = Csonka).

Posted By: Class of ’99 (Guest) on August 13, 2011 at 02:37 PM”

This was during the time when Aaron Frame was trying to wage war on me and send his attack dogs after me in the column, which as usual I dealt with as a professional. So I replied to this particular person with some decent enough advice…

Sir, did it ever occur to you that maybe your team simply sucked and he was pointing out you were beating poor teams with horrible rosters only? Because it sounds to me like you guys lost a lot more than you are willing to admit and hate the guy who just rubbed your face in it to try and motivate you to do a better job. Sounds like he did the right thing by making sure your threats were taken care of, because nobody likes bullies. You guys probably were twice his size and think picking on him made you big men, right? Big tough guys, you admitted it was multiple people against one guy and if that one guy was able to beat you, no wonder you guys lost so much. Suck it up, shut it up, and get over it.

Well that just got him right on his high horse and for the later part of the summer we went back and forth until one day he finally stopped posting.

The rumor I’ve heard is that this Matt person found out he was talking about him and went to investigate. Matt, who had become a lot bigger since his high school years, found the guy and beat him into oblivion and then went inside his house and gave his girlfriend the best time of her life. She left Mr. 99 for Matt and he’s currently on the unemployment line near you telling everybody how great it was when we still had dial-up modems and cell phones didn’t have touch screens. Just a rumor, of course!

4. One Frie(d) Brain

And then came a comment earlier in the year from this coxcomb:

“”Some people both on the comments and even Steve made remarks about the Sacrifice main event last year for TNA being a mistake. It actually wasn’t a mistake at all. See, I realize a lot of you really do watch TNA or at least attempt to every week despite bashing the product, and I wanted to see if there really were people out there who did watch and didn’t just bash it because it was the cool thing to do. So I figured why not? I’ll slip a little something into the Roundtable. A few of you noticed, most didn’t, but it confirmed to me that there is a larger audience for TNA than people want to admit.”

Did I miss something? Your argument is that too many people criticise TNA without watching it, but when you prove that they DO in fact watch it and therefore criticise it based on what they’ve seen, that’s somehow a win for TNA? Honestly, it would have been more acceptable if it was a mistake, other than a convoluted self-contradicting attempt at garnering some more attention.

“I’d also like to thank Spencer Mallard and The Fuj for their continuing attempt to combat WWE bias everywhere on the site. Most of you consider them trolls but I think having supporters of every wrestling company getting their voices heard is important.”

Of course you do, because you’re trolling on behalf of TNA. This column is almost exclusively anti-WWE and pro-TNA, which is bias. What you fail to recognise is that this bias exists for a reason, although I’m sure you think it’s purely about money which is ironic since TNA would have gone bust years ago had it not been for Panda Energy. You selectively choose which information you want to support your view while ignoring the near-infinite evidence that proves you are supporting a non-entity. The fact you’re still indignant in refusing to give WWE any credit for anything while concurrently moaning about bias is quite laughable, especially when a lot of TNA’s booking is based on what WWE is doing or has done in the past.

If you like TNA, more power to you. I think it does get a worse press than it deserves. But don’t try and pretend that anybody who doesn’t choose it over WWE is ‘biased’, and don’t act like TNA doesn’t have problems while refusing to acknowledge any of WWE’s achievements or childishly contributing them to having more money than TNA and nothing else. It really doesn’t do anything for your articles other than to make them look like nepotistic whining. Please, in future, attempt a more balanced column because at the moment this is a sinking ship.

Posted By: Frie (Registered) on May 28, 2011 at 05:57 AM”

Our fried brain friend let loose more nasty comments which involved comments about how my column was going to die within a few weeks… this was in May and June. Obviously, it didn’t come true. Within a few exchanges he realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere and he was called out for repeatedly saying he was going to quit reading the column and still kept reading and leaving comments. He probably still does leave comments under an anonymous name but once again, he got owned.

3. Internet Frame Wars

411 Writer and former adversary Aaron Frame and I mixed it up as well around August when it became known that he was making some comments on my column and then taking a few shots at me on his own column. I decided to handle the matter professionally and as a result the hounds were sent after me issue after issue and he was hostile towards me every single time I headed to the staff meeting areas. It got tense enough that people became uncomfortable but then he seemed to disappear for a while. When he returned, things had simmered down and everything was finally settled between the two of us, albeit grudgingly.

Although we didn’t exchange Christmas cards, the good news is that we can attend the same functions and chat rooms without a massive fight breaking out anymore. Recently he even gave me a bit of a tribute by stealing the Nugget Award style and gave himself the worst writer award! At least there will be no complaint there.

2. The I Can’t Talk About It Incident

Unfortunately, I can’t talk about it other than to say a basic outline of what happened:

A writer was in a temulent state when leaving comments, I responded to them and we got into a massive fight. We decided to settle our differences in a battle of wrestling trivia, but when he signed on to compete he was in no shape to even attempt a trivia contest and I won by forfeit. Shamed and humiliated, he went on to continue his mediocre work and we both promised we wouldn’t mention each other by name in our columns any further. Soon afterwards he faded into obscurity as expected and that’s the last I heard of him.

1. A Chip Off The Old Block

Somebody else decided that I wasn’t anywhere near as smart as I made myself out to be…


Ahh, I see I have a sparring partner at last! Mr. Kirk, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Chip McFetters, and I am your mental superior.

Before I begin, let me preface by saying you’ll not find a single spelling mistake to cling to when trashing this comment. Now whether you have the stones to publish my comment in your next column remains to be seen. But onto business.

You, sir, are a sham. As others have pointed out, you get your jollies by insulting the masses, which leads to hits, which leads to more inflammatory comments, and so on. I know that I play the game by “feeding the troll,” but I’m a hopeless glutton for this sort of thing. I like picking on people who have a bloated sense of self worth. You write a little-read column on a wrestling website. If you were a person of any sort of importance, you would have a more dignified hobby to spend your spare minutes on. You invent a goofy story about a privileged genius who paid hooligans to do your dirty work, when we all know that sort of stuff happens only in shitty John Hughes movies. You claim to be six five, but if you had the genetics to fill out that frame, you would not have needed those hooligans to beat up the bullies to begin with. By the way, Mr. Caulfield, when did Pency let in that sort of rough lot?

Listen to the clacking of your keys as you type “Caulfield Pency” in the google search bar.

One last question, sir. Why would you need to worry about saving ten dollars on TNA PPV’s if you are in such a high tax bracket?

Posted By: Chip McFetters (Guest) on September 01, 2011 at 03:55 AM”

That comment began the war. I responded with something he didn’t find very enjoyable to hear, and we sparred back and forth but the final nail in the coffin came when I defeated him in a writing contest. This is the crap that he wrote claiming to be so much better than I am at writing:

“Jackson stuck his head out the window, feeling the wind whipping against his cheeks. God damn this country tasted delicious, he thought, opening his mouth to gulp the cold night air. In the car they were passing around a joint, and popping bottle caps off of frosty beers. Dusty had the wheel, and a beer sloshed between his legs. They must have been going 90. Johnny Cash blared on the radio.

Jackson was high, and drunk, and too wild to give a shit. They’d take I-5 all through Minnesota and end up in Middleton by morning, and go find one of those strip clubs that served ham and eggs, and fuck it, they could go all the way to Mexico and it would be fine by him. Fuck it, they could keep going all night, he thought.

Jackson pulled his head back in and took a swig from the beer. Little Evil the midget was passed out in the back, spit hanging down his lumpy chin. The sweet burnt smell of weed hung thick in the car, mixing with the stink of sweat and rotten eggs. Jackson had taken the pills after the show, and it was spreading through him now, making even his fingernails feel numb.

“God damn you suns of bitches,” Dusty said, looking in the mirror. “Why ain’t nobody tell me there was a cop.” “

…Yeah, that was his best. Suffice to say he was handily defeated and then attempted to join 411 to get back at me by writing a column. He wasn’t good enough to make the cut and seemed to vanish off the face of the planet, and you will get no complaint from me.

2011 Review and Thoughts for 2012 from Steve Cook

SC: Wes & I have a lot of differences in our outlook on professional wrestling, and it goes deeper than “Wes is a TNA guy & Steve is a WWE guy”. I haven’t read his review of 2011 yet, but I’ll guess that it has a lot to do with the business side of wrestling. TV ratings, PPV buyrates, things like that. Wes gets really excited when talking about that stuff, and God bless him for it. What interests me about wrestling is what happens in front of the camera and in the ring. I don’t care how many other people are watching my wrestling shows, even though it’s nice when wrestling is somewhat acceptable to a mainstream audience and I have more people to talk about it with and have reading my columns.

From the business side, 2011 was pretty mediocre. WWE got a nice bump from the Rock, but nothing else seemed to move the meter too much and they‘re pretty much where they were last year, though there seems to be hope with their network. Impact Wrestling is pretty much in the same place they were last year, though there seems to be hope with their India project & international television contracts. Ring of Honor was purchased by Sinclair Broadcasting Group and had a pretty quiet 2011 for the most part…2012 & beyond is when we’ll find out if SBG has what it takes to promote a viable wrestling product. CHIKARA expanded to new markets and had record DVD sales, but they’re happy doing their own thing and not competing with the big boys.

From the perspective of being a wrestling fan that gets to write and talk about it on a major website, 2011 was a pretty fun year. I enjoyed WWE’s youth movement that led to pushes for new talent that hadn’t been on television for years & years. As somebody that went to ROH shows back in 2005, it gave me a great deal of pride to see CM Punk become the talk of the wrestling world during the summer of 2011, and while his push hasn’t been handled perfectly, it’s great to see him as one of the top stars of the company that drives merchandise sales and gets people interested in shows. I never expected Daniel Bryan to become a World Champion less than two years into his WWE stint. Sure, that push has had its issues at times as well, but it’s awesome to see him wearing one of WWE’s major titles and he really has come a long way in his brief time with the company.

Cody Rhodes was somebody whose praises I started singing when he started doing his “Dashing” gimmick, and his 2011 was really fun to follow. He’s growing as a performer every single week, and not only is he living up to the Rhodes family legacy, he’s moving out of the shadows of Dusty & Dustin and making his own path. Wade Barrett’s 2011 has been up and down, but the Barrett Barrage has kicked in the last couple of months and he’s in a good spot to be one of WWE’s top stars for years to come. And how about Zack Ryder? He was doing absolutely nothing at the beginning of 2011, but he stepped his game up, got over on the Internet with entertaining YouTube videos, and rode his momentum all the way to the US title and regular appearances on Raw. Ryder is proof to all the young wrestlers out there that if they keep their eyes on the prize, get a little bit better every day and do whatever they can to get noticed, they’ll eventually get what they deserve. The Miz established himself as one of WWE’s top heels. Alberto Del Rio won the Royal Rumble, Money in the Bank & the WWE Championship. Sheamus is becoming one of WWE’s top baby faces. Dolph Ziggler was outstanding throughout the year. It wasn’t just the new guys either. R-Truth & Mark Henry had amazing years that got them to the forefront of their respective brands. Randy Orton had arguably his best in-ring year ever. John Cena had a very good year and continued to attract attention from wrestling fans everywhere, whether it is positive or negative.

I hear Wes saying “When’s he gonna mention TNA”…Bully Ray might have had his best year in wrestling in 2011, becoming one of the highlights of Impact Wrestling every week. Bobby Roode had an outstanding year, going from being one-half of TNA’s best tag team to their standard bearer as TNA Champion. James Storm is establishing himself as one of TNA’s top stars and might even have a chance to be “the guy”. Austin Aries went from not being Tough Enough to owning the X Division and proving why he’s The Greatest Man That Ever Lived. Kurt Angle & Jeff Jarrett had a great feud to kick off the year & Jarrett has entertained all year whether he’s in America or Mexico. The Knockouts booking hasn’t been perfect, but when they get the chance to deliver a quality match they deliver more often than not.

Sure, there were tons of lowlights in wrestling in 2011. Business wasn’t the best ever. Certain people were going out of their way to disgrace the business. Michael Cole was on TV way more often than he should have been. But there was a lot of great stuff, and the best news is that most of it should carry into 2012. The young guys WWE are pushing are only going to get better. Guys like Rhodes, Barrett & Ziggler are going to become major champions. TNA seems to be finding guys they can focus on and hopefully they’ll continue with that. I have a feeling that Storm could be their breakout star. Their relationship with OVW should be fruitful in finding and developing young talent. I think ROH is going to have a big year with Kevin Steen in particular leading the way.

Do I think business will turn around?

I have no idea. I think WrestleMania will be huge. If it isn’t, then the commenters talking about WWE going out of business will have plenty to talk about. Other than WrestleMania, I don’t know if business will be good. I have a feeling that I’m going to enjoy it either way.

Isn’t that what’s important?

The Year End Good, Bad, and The… WTF?

This is our year-end mail and we’ll have last week’s comments in next week’s edition!

Year End Good/Bad/WTF

Wes Kirk: Great, here we go again! These are the top comments from our time writing the column jointly with new thoughts by yours truly!

The Good

I like Scorpion. He is doing a great job. I nominate Scorpion to be the new recap guy for TNA Impact reports. He would be a lot better than the guy currently doing them.Tery

SC: We’ve been begging Wes to take over the Impact report for months now, but he refuses to do so. He claims his job keeps him from doing it, but I’m of the opinion that Wes is afraid his TNA-loving gimmick would be exposed. There’s simply no way he could recap Impact every week and keep the positive vibes going. If he could, I would applaud him.

Wes Kirk: And Instant Analysis, too. I can’t do the recapping every week because of the job, but I might be able to handle an analysis for the show although it would have to be posted the day after like some PPV reviews are. Think it over guys, better late than never! Also the guy who did the massively biased against TNA reports ended up quitting, so you got part of your wish!

Daniel Bryan NEEDS to go to Smackdown. Other than jobbing to Sheamus and a Bella twin slap a couple of times each, he’s done nothing since about November. Maybe he should have left with Kaval…Guest#7997

SC: Daniel Bryan did go to Smackdown, and it ended up working pretty well for him. I post this to prove that not all the commenters on this column were as insane as Wes gave them credit for.

Wes Kirk: Yep, instead Bryan wins the title and Cole buries him on commentary the entire time. Can anybody say the term “Jack Swagger title run” because that is what this is going to be known for!

As a man who’s entirely unbiased and calls things down the middle I can safely say that the WWE is going to fold this year and Impact will hit the 9.0 ratings by December.

Why do you think people have called me the Che Guevara of 411mania wrestling comments? CROSS THE LINE!!!Spencer Mallard Sr.

SC: Spence’s dad was a wee bit off on these predictions, but I imagine he’ll be back with them in 2012. Listen, WWE’s not folding anytime soon, and no wrestling show is going to get a 9.0 rating. Let’s be realistic, folks.

Wes Kirk: You got the year wrong by about one or two, as soon as WWE Network bombs that’ll put enough pain on the company to admit they made a mistake and cut their losses or keep going with it. I think we all know what kind of a stubborn bastard McMahon is, so place your bets! As far as TNA goes, sometimes the best shows don’t get the greatest ratings and yet down the line they are fondly remembered. I’ve heard more good things about WCW Monday Nitro in the past six years than I ever did when it was on television so in the end it won’t be which show beat which in the ratings as much as it will be about which show ended up surviving in this new era of wrestling.

The Bad

Reading this column was like sitting next to two geriatric farts reminiscing about their time in the same parachute regiment in WWII. Since when is it a good idea to pull some dickwad off the comment boards and get his two pence worth for a column?? If you wanted a shameless TNA suck-up you should have asked Latex, since he gets a hard-on anytime he even reads those initials. Black Scorpion’s posts are about 80% unreadable, so I knew what to expect. Never mind Steve, I’ll still read Cook’s Corner every week. It rules.Probable Cause

SC: Believe it or not, the comment section does have some people that know what they’re talking about and can coherently get their thoughts across with the written word. Wes was one of those people even if he was a tad bit biased in favor of TNA, and I thought that wasn’t such a bad thing because 411 could use a different perspective. We don’t need a staff full of people saying the same exact things, it’d get really boring around here real quick. That’s why we have TNA fans like Wes, ROH fans like Ari, Joshi fans like Byers, and so on and so forth. Variety is the spice of life.

Plus, it gives you people hope that you can do what we do someday. Not everybody has a learned mentor like Josh Grut telling them they can make it like I did, so they get inspired by things like this. If the Black Scorpion can make it on 411 and have one of the most commented-on columns most weeks, why can’t you?

Wes Kirk: Just another day, just another idiot. This guy had no idea about how big the Sandwich was going to get. Hopefully, he knows just how bad his currency has gotten with the Eurozone crisis and he saves his two pence because that’ll be what his entire estate is worth when socialism gets through with you guys.

I don’t see this lasting very long honestly. Just terrible banter, with of course – hot chics for hits! Always love that ploy to cover up a really bad column.

Cook, you are better than this.

Is Black Scorpion your best friend or something man? I can’t think of any other reason for him to be here… Vic

SC: The phrase that I was better than this column came up several times during my run here. I appreciated the compliment, but the insinuation that the Wrestling Sandwich was beneath me struck me as a bit odd. Have you seen the articles on this website? It’s either inaccurate wrestling news, salacious gossip ripped from websites that no human being should subject themselves to, or pictures of ladies being “busty” or “curvy” or having a great bikini body or whatever. Sure, there were aspects of the Sandwich I didn’t like (I never wanted to do the Hot Girl on Girl Action segment that mercifully got shelved early on, and I think Wes spends way too much time talking about politics), but I don’t know why this column was considered worse than the rest.

And before says anything about the girly pictures I use in News From Cook’s Corner every week, at least they serve a purpose in transitioning between segments of the column and they typically aren’t all that tawdry. It’s T & A with a purpose.

Wes Kirk: Yep, it was so terrible it is going on one year and still the top weekend opinion column on the site. And let me clear up something about the Hot Girl on Girl thing…

I did suggest the name and the idea was at first wrestling girls but then the suggestion from Steve was to have wrestling’s hottest girls take on the hottest celebrities. I was even planning a special tournament to name wrestling’s hottest female ever based on talent from four “conferences” so to speak but then the column was all mine to handle and I decided not to continue because I didn’t need the hot girls for hits! I’m contemplating bringing that tournament around but probably not for a while yet. The politics, well, this is the only column you’ll get any real intelligent political commentary. Or you could head to 411’s MS-NBC politics section and get more of the same from about every other left-wing biased news source.

I keep thinking Scorp is just Cook’s troll baiting alter ego…Guest#2232

SC: Another common sentiment from readers that overestimate my motivation. Don’t get me wrong, I keep a ridiculously busy schedule with News From Cook’s Corner, Fact or Fiction, The 411 on Wrestling & the Offtheteam.com Fantasy Football Podcast, along with appearances on The Greg DeMarco Show, live-tweeting various sporting events & e-stalking women on various social media outlets. But I’d never go to the trouble of creating another persona to air an opposing viewpoint. If I troll you guys, it’ll be under the Steve Cook name.

Wes Kirk:

…What? Did you really NOT see that coming a mile away?

Cook? WTF bro? I understand the picture you used for your “avatar” for the sammich gimmick. But JOHN EFFING KERRY????

I trust you will clear this up before the next wonderful installment, nes pa??CM Wolf

SC: The John Kerry picture has a kind of interesting story. It popped up online sometime during the 2004 election and I used it as my MSN picture for many months. Many people complained about Sammich Eating Kerry, which just motivated me to continue using it. When the Wrestling Sandwich came to fruition, it only seemed right to bring Sammich Eating Kerry back. He was eating a sammich, and it had the bonus effect of annoying the right-winger Wes, though I’m not sure it worked because he got to laugh at Kerry looking silly every week. I do think the bacon sandwich has been a much better column header than the original Kerry/Scorpion pic.

I just realized that story wasn’t very interesting. Sorry folks!

Wes Kirk: …So, the whole point wasn’t for Kerry to look stupid? Can we say epic fail, kids? And that bacon sandwich was stolen from a picture of Ice Dagger’s dinner.

There WAS one other comment that was supposed to be in here, from one of those guests who keep posting and using the same guest number every week despite claiming they would never read the column again or comment on it again from six months ago but I seem to have misplaced it!

The WTF

Christan should still be champ and beating Orton and Cena simply because it’s new. Cena and Orton couldn’t draw worth shit until they were crammed down our throught either. All hail Captain Charisma, and for all of you that disagree, you are retarded, pillow biting, ankle grabbing, ball like whore bag dumb asses!!!!!awsome69

SC: The grammar mistakes are what makes this comment cross the line from run-of-the-mill to awesome.

Wes Kirk:I have it on good authority this guy was the smartest one of the anti-Kirk commenters, too. Well, even if you win the Special Olympics you are still retarded!

SC: Wes, it’s been a blast and I hope everybody had fun reading this special edition of the Wrestling Sandwich! It was nice to come home and lay a little knowledge on the people. You’ve done a great job with this column, and like I’ve said before, I wouldn’t have left it in your hands if I didn’t think you’d make it a big success. Sure, there’s a lot that we don’t agree on, but at the end of the day we’re both wrestling fans that love to talk and write about the business, and we’re both hoping for a tremendous 2012.

I know my 2012 is getting off to a great start…of course there will be News From Cook’s Corner & Fact or Fiction, but next week’s 411 on Wrestling is going to be a very special edition, as we’ll be welcoming OVW Women’s Champion Taeler Hendrix to the show! Wes, I think you’ll appreciate Taeler’s talent and ability, and she’s in a great spot to get noticed by a certain company in Orlando. Perhaps she’ll be crossing the line someday? We can only hope!

Wes Kirk:Thanks again, 411 Pro, for stopping by and helping me continue being lazy! I got Cook to do half this column, hah! So obviously I gotta plug him and I’ll do so here so get to it. When the hell do I get to interview an indy chick? So unfair.

Randle has his own year end awards too if you check out The Wrestling News Experience

Sforcina gets no rest when he continues to provide answers whenever you Ask 411 Wrestling

But it wouldn’t be the Sandwich if I didn’t send you guys off the right way. So remember, after you get drunk you can really enter 2012 in style when you wake up next to…this.

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