411's Instant Analysis 01.23.12: Monday Night Raw

Posted by Chad Nevett on 01.24.2012

What did we think of CM Punk challenging John Laurinaitis to a match, Zack Ryder facing off against Kane in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Chris Jericho finally speaking and more? Check out 411's RAW Instant Analysis to find out!



Welcome to this week's Instant Analysis of Monday Night Raw. I'm your humble reviewer, Chad Nevett and it's the last Raw before the Royal Rumble. It's hard to say if anything of substance will happen tonight. Probably some fallout from John Laurinaitis saying he'll screw CM Punk out of the title, some more words from Kane on how hate is awesome, and more gladhanding by Chris Jericho. I'm just rooting for a decent showing from the new All-American American United States Champion. Let's get to it...

SEGMENT ONE: CM Punk & John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger
Match Result: Dolph Ziggler pinned CM Punk
Match Length: About ten and a half minutes

As expected, CM Punk's reaction to John Laurinaitis's admission that he'll screw Punk out of the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble was a little negative -- threatening to break someone's arms is negative, right? But, there was something limiting to Punk's promo: he only had one thing to say really and it got dragged out until John Cena came out to... not ruin the promo portion of the segment since it wasn't that strong to begin with, but to assault us again with his extreme literalism. Cena is so literal at times that it's hard to take. John Laurinaitis is finally coming off as an authority figure -- though I have to question how someone who says he plans to screw the champion out of his title and books people in matches when they're not medically cleared is still the General Manager when the company has seemed very cautious about who's in charge lately. It set up the tag match and established a few of the ongoing stories/feuds.

The match was okay. I didn't like the finish too much since they've done the 'Laurinaitis distracts Punk and Ziggler pins him as a result' finish numerous times. I would have liked to see them change it up a little -- even if it's Punk kicking out and Ziggler hitting the Zigzag to win. Just some small change. Otherwise, there wasn't much that stood out about the match. Jack Swagger didn't look like shit, which is an improvement over last week (and he won the US Title last week!). It seemed more about setting up a Punk/Laurinaitis match tonight than anything else. Which is fine, just not a match that stands out in any big way.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT TWO: "This Sunday at the Royal Rumble, it's going to be the end of the world as you know it."

Why is it that, when performers request silence, there are always idiots who insist on shouting and screaming? I expected Jericho to simply walk away when people wouldn't shut the hell up. Instead, he played with the crowd and gave a very quick highlight reel of his career to date before speaking the words above in a manner similar to his heel persona. That's it. And I continue to love it. The way that he controls our attention is masterful. I haven't been this engrossed since the Summer of Punk '11.

Rating: 9.0 out of 10

SEGMENT THREE: Falls Count Anywhere Match - Kane vs. Zack Ryder
Match Result: Kane killed Zack Ryder and the match just kind of ended
Match Length: Around ten and a half minutes?

And, for the second week in a row, Zack Ryder spends an entire match getting his ass kicked. There wasn't really anything else to this match besides Kane beating on Ryder -- in the ring, around the ring, through the crowd, on the ramp... He kicked the crap out of Ryder until he put him through the entrance stage with a Chokeslam. Then, he turned his attention to Eve, who obviously learned nothing from AJ nor paid attention to Kane's history with women. Thankfully, John Cena scared Kane off and everyone got serious about Zack Ryder. Not much of a match. I guess this is supposed to raise the stakes of John Cena/Kane at the Royal Rumble, but all I can focus on is how Kane may not be in the Rumble match itself and that's a shame... he's got a record to keep up!

After the break, everyone blamed John Cena (and, by everyone, I mean Eve), so he put on his mad face for the camera. Grrrrr... Cena mad!

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal
Match Result: Sheamus pinned Jinder Mahal
Match Length: A little over three minutes

I wasn't too excited about watching these guys wrestle the first time I saw it and I sure as hell wasn't excited to see it for the 28th time in the past two months. They continued to build Sheamus/Wade Barrett in the process, but I'm not convinced that's going anywhere. Hey, it's Royal Rumble month... what do you expect except some treading water?

Rating: 5.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FIVE: Brodus Clay vs. Who Cares?
Match Result: Brodus Clay danced, he won, and then he danced again
Match Length: 49 seconds

William Regal is more entertaining than 85% of the WWE roster... combined. And so is Brodus Clay these days. Hey, was Clay's re-debut delayed so he could learn to dance? I wonder... I have nothing to say about this segment other than it was damn entertaining. Regal was funny, Clay was fun to watch... what else could you want?

Rating: 9.0 out of 10

SEGMENT SIX: Loser Enters the Royal Rumble First Match - The Miz vs. R-Truth
Match Result: R-Truth pinned the Miz
Match Length: Just under eight minutes

Why doesn't anyone ever recognize that entering second is the exact same as entering first?

I love that this match actually had a consequence on the Royal Rumble. I was complaining last week that the WWE doesn't seem to run stories about the order of people entering the Rumble match anymore and, this week, they deliver this. It was obvious that the Miz would lose this match, because it's better than the heel be put in the crap situation of entering first than the face (unless the story was the face getting screwed here and struggling to hang on to eliminate the heel when he finally entered the Rumble match). Normally, this match would have happened on a PPV given the amount of teasing they've done, but, again, the Royal Rumble means most feuds go nowhere or play out on TV. These two worked well together. I wouldn't mind seeing this feud continue to WrestleMania if they can add in a new twist or two.

Rating: 8.0 out of 10

SEGMENT SEVEN: CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis David Otunga(?)
Match Result: CM Punk made Otunga tap out and then kicked him in the head
Match Length: I don't think it actually began... but, if it had, CM Punk won

Hey, my questions about the Board of Directors keeping Laurinaitis as GM making sense given the way he's acted lately were addressed here! Finally, some internal logic! I rather liked this: John Laurinaitis trying to weasel out of his actions, ducking the match, bringing up his problems with Triple H, having David Otunga attack Punk, watching as Otunga got his ass handed to him, and, then, eating a Go to Sleep from CM Punk before Punk got hit with the Zigzag by Dolph Ziggler. Nice way to close the show and tease the WWE Championship match on Sunday. And, like I said, nice to see the WWE adhering to internal logic for longer than a few weeks.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

FINAL THOUGHTS

Segment of the Night: Chris Jericho Speaks

Trash Segment of the Night: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Final Analysis: A surprisingly good episode of Raw heading into the Royal Rumble. With only a few matches on that PPV, I was expecting a lot more treading water than what we got. Sure, there was some filler stuff that isn't going anywhere and we also got Kane beating on Zack Ryder for ten minutes, but Chris Jericho finally spoke, the Funkasaurus was entertaining as always, a match happened to determine the first entrant in the Royal Rumble, and the show closed strong. It took a little bit, but they found their groove tonight and it worked on the whole.

Verdict: 7.5

411 RATINGS SCALE:
0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor
5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

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