Ask 411 Wrestling 02.01.12: Female Nudity, Male Nudity, Alien Virgins, More!

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 02.01.2012

Why did Rey Mysterio get a water bottle in the 2006 Royal Rumble? Who came up with The Million Dollar Man gimmick? Have any soccer players made it in wrestling? And what's the purest wrestling match ever? All this and more covered this week in Ask 411 Wrestling!

Well hello, and welcome to the only column written by someone who didn't call one thing right all Royal Rumble, Ask 411 Wrestling! Seriously, I was batting like 0% on every one of my predictions. Ah well, could have been worse. I could have…

Uh…

Fallen down and busted something. Yes, that didn't happen, so it could have been worse.

Moving on.

This week may or may not be heavy on opinion, based on the fact that tomorrow is a big day for me, so we'll see how much fact gets in. If you're reading this then enough to justify not calling this an opinion week.

But first, some plugs. Tom Tom Club! 411mania podcasts! Wrestling PodClash!

And then a banner.



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Backtalking

I've got nothing really to discuss here, beyond the Fusient deal which some commentators took me to task over which I partly cop to. Yes, the TV time was crucial. But the whole conspiracy theory thing I'm not sure about.

Your Turn, Smart Guy…

Who am I? I've only held one ‘proper' title in WWE, albeit twice. I was born in my home country but spent part of my childhood in South America. I've beaten Bob Backlund while he was World Champion. I've also beaten Ric Flair, (but who hasn't?) and one of my matches has been called by Mick Foley and Michael Cole. Who am I?

Guest#3711 was first right answer off the ranks.


Who am I?
I've only held one ‘proper' title in WWE, albeit twice. (WWWF World Martial Arts Championship.)
I was born in my home country but spent part of my childhood in South America. (Born in Japan, moved to Brazil at age 14.)
I've beaten Bob Backlund while he was World Champion. (November 30, 1979 in Tokushima, Japan.)
I've also beaten Ric Flair, (but who hasn't?) (April 28-29 1995 in Pyongyang North Korea.)
and one of my matches has been called by Mick Foley and Michael Cole. (Not sure.)
Who am I?
Antonio Inoki

Who am I? I once beat The Funkasaurus on TV. I'm a Triple Crown Champion in WWE. I was involved in a famous series of skits involving a yellow suit. Of the three men I've held tag titles with, 2 are retired. I've twice won WWE titles off-camera (although only one of those two was at an actual house show). I've pinned a woman to win a title and win a tag match. Who am I?

Questions, Questions, Who's Got The Questions?

Matt begins with the Million Dollar Man.

Hi Mathew,

On a recent episode of the The Rachel Maddow Show there was a segment analyzing the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and how his character could provide insight into the image problems that Mitt Romney has in the Republican primary. I highly enjoyed the segment, both because the comparison was remarkably apt, and because Rachel (who is clearly not a fan of Pro Wrestling) gave legitimate praise for DiBiase's work as a heel. At the end of the segment, she wished DiBiase a happy birthday and mentioned that she didn't know who wrote his character, but that that person had a future in political image consulting.

That last statement got me thinking: who DID write DiBiase's character, one of "wrestling's all-time great bad guys" in Rachel's words? Now with that period of his career taking place in the 80's and 90's--well before today's script-writer driven promo style--I assume that DiBiase himself came up with most if not all of his promo material. But what about the other stuff, like the vignettes, the wardrobe, the general arc of the character? Who's idea was it to stuff the $100 bills in downed opponents' mouths (and were those actual bills)? Who came up with the bit where he kicked the basketball away from the little kid (sadly not featured in the web version of the segment)? Who decided that he'd have that awesome villain laugh?

Thanks for taking the time to answer.

…

(quickly uses his Google-Fu to find out who Rachel Maddow is.)

Oh good, I doubt this is an attempt at a free plug then. I don't think MSNBC is desperate enough to look for advertising in my column.



Anyway, the Million Dollar Man character is one of the classics in pro wrestling, and also one of the most well loved, albeit the love to hate sort of love. But it's also a character that seemed to have sprung whole. Ted wasn't The Million Dollar Man prior to appearing in the WWF (for the second time, but we don't talk about the first run). It just appeared. So who came up with it all?

It's actually a fairly simple question this, as most everyone has said the same thing. This was Vince McMahon, nearly 100%. Vince came up with the gimmick, and then chose Ted to play it, based on his work. Ted discussed this in his book, how Vince called him up and got him to come over, then explained that he thought Ted would be perfect for this new, revolutionary character, but that he couldn't tell Ted until he'd signed up, in case he stole it.

And then, after Vince had left, Pat Patterson told Ted that this was totally Vince's idea, and it's who Vince would be if he pulled the tights on. And thus, since it's his idea, he'd make sure it got over. So Ted signed up based on that.

The promo work was mostly Ted, in that this was the era where you were expected to be able to cut a promo. He got bullet points, sure, but at first it was more ‘You're a rich arrogant bastard. And… GO!' Anyway, Vince came up with the general arc, and the ‘Every Man Has His Price' tag line, but the laugh was Ted's arrogant laugh. Everything else is hard to quantify in that even then there was a committee of sorts, it's just that instead of a whole bunch of writers you have Vince and a few people below him that handled stuff. So although credit is mostly given to Vince, it's possible that an idea for a vignette came from someone else. The Million Dollar Dream and Virgil names for instance came from Bobby Heenan.

And the plants for stuff like the basketball and RVD kissing his feet etc came because at first, he'd just toss money into the crowd, and then laugh as people scrambled. But since they were using actual $100 bills, they stopped as they realised that it's hard for people to boo a guy giving them money, no matter how arrogant he was about it. So they went to the plants.

So anything involving Ted actually talking is him, but everything else in the character is nominally Vince.

Steve asks about water breaks.

Hey Matthew,

Great job as always

Keep up the great work! With the Rumble coming up, I had a question about the 2006 edition. At about 59:35 of this video



in the lower left corner you see a ref sneakily give Mysterio a water bottle.

My question is: Does this happen regularly and is just not seen on camera? I understand 60 minutes is a very long time, but does this mean that Dibiase in 90, Martel in 91, HBK in 95, etc get water breaks during their ironman runs in the match? Am I supposed to feel shortchanged by their efforts if they were having water throughout? (I'm joking on that last one, but am curious to see if this is the norm)

Thanks!

No, it's not the norm… I think. The fact that R-Truth's recent career began on him getting water would imply that it's a rare occurrence.



I cannot state that everyone is or isn't sneaking drinks. However, I believe that they are set up to allow it to happen. I think WWE take the view that if you have to get water, they'd rather you get it then try and work through and end up gassed and possibly injure someone. I if it was the norm, I'd believe it would be more well known than it is. I believe it's more of a last ditch situation. I'm happy for anyone who's attended shows to prove me wrong.

Of course, it doesn't count if it's a manager doing it. Then it's more about the character and showing that you're a heel who cheats.

Micheal has a few questions that are varied.

In reference to RVD being "stripped" of the TNA title because his contract stipulated that he only had to wrestle a certain amount of days, my question is: Why even give him the belt at all then? If they know he's not going to be able to be a fighting champ, then why even give him the title? Is the answer "because it's TNA and Russo"?

To clarify, it wasn't a case of them only having him for X dates, where X = 75. It was more a case that after 75, then they had to pay him reportedly upwards of $10K per date.

But that doesn't explain the issue. Why give him the title if he has a limited number of dates? It's actually an issue TNA has had for a while, Foley had this as well where they used him too much and then had to pull back. While Russo and TNA do appear in the answer, it's not a blanket statement. It's a case of the booking going with the fans. RVD was/is over, and popular, and when you have a hot, popular wrestler, especially one associated with a concept you're about to push in a major angle, it does make sense to push the guy to the moon. That way his popularity might help the company.

However, that is a short sighted attitude when said wrestler has a limited dates contract. In that case you would pull back and perhaps not make him the focal point of the company. A traditional booker would understand this, would take contracts into account as they booked. Russo is not, it's safe to say, a traditional booker. He certainly has never been known as a contract guy if it's not some fine print as a deus ex machine to get out of a jam he's written himself into.

Now, that said, you could easily turn around and ask why Russo wasn't told this? You can easily explain away a champ not being there (RVD's touring around to promote TNA!) and only have him appear ever so often. But no, Russo was left to book how he wanted. And that brought us both the problem and the ‘solution' which was… Questionable itself. But then you can't job RVD out right?



Now a flashback question to the NWA in the 80's. On every televised NWA show on Saturday afternoon/early evening, the show would always end with some big brawl in the ring, or two wrestlers getting ready to square off, or even sometimes at the start of the main event match, with David Crockett and Tony Schiavone screaming "Oh no folks! We're out of time! We've gotta go!"

What the hell was the logic behind this? You make the viewers watch jobbers get obliterated for 58 minutes then when something exciting is about to happen, you end the show? From both a business and a fairness standpoint it makes no sense. Why keep watching weekly when you know you're just going to be disappointed when the action is really going to happen every week?

The logic was that you had to tune in next week to find out what happened. And that next time, it might actually happen this time!

To be fair, it actually did work. The cliffhanger ending, back then at least, was a successful way to get the fans tuning in again next week. Yes, during the Monday Night Wars and onwards it's a horrible idea since you have the internet to immediately tell everyone what happened after the show went off the air, but back then when all you had was the TV shows and maybe the magazines, the cliffhanger ending worked.

Of course, they didn't do it every week. Sometimes they'd end on a promo.



Or a match or something. They didn't end the show EVERY week with one. But yes, it was common, but it worked. So from a business standpoint, it makes sense. Maybe not fair, sure as hell wouldn't work today, but at the time, it did.

Lastly, I believe when Randy Orton won PWI's rookie of the year award, which was before he entered the WWE, the write-up mentioned that he had a finisher that was basically amazing. I remember when he finally got to the E and wondering what the great finisher was. I don't think he used the RKO right away and I don't remember being blown away by this big finisher so do you know what his finisher was before being called up to the E? Even if was the RKO, it was just a variation of the Diamond Cutter so that's hardly unique or new.

Thanks for your time as always!!

When Randy first came onto the big leagues in the WWE, as the Blue Chipper Third Generation "Of course we're not trying to recreate Rocky Miavia, *wink wink*" sure thing, he had the O-Zone finisher, which was the Overdrive, which was a move that in the early 00's every second indy worker had as a finisher. The other half used the Roll Of The Dice.



I have NEVER liked that move. I mean, with the Roll Of The Dice, that at least looks cool. But the Overdrive is just so awkward. And yet, a whole bunch of people tried to get it over, and it's never worked. But anyway, he began using that in 2002. So what did he use in 2001? I wasn't able to find out what he used prior to getting a developmental deal with WWF and going to OVW, so if he had a super finisher when he first began that he then dumped due to it being hideously complicated or very dangerous or something, that might explain it. But his finisher in OVW appears to be a Full Nelson Slam.



OK, it's not bad, but it's hardly spectacular. The only other moves it could be were the crossbody off the top which is unlikely, or a wheelbarrow German suplex which might make more sense but seems to have been more of a trademark than a finisher.

Jake has this week's legwork question. Remember those?

Hey Sfornica (Insert usual praises here),

My friend and I were talking about the recent TLC PPV and the subject of Cena not being on there, at all, came up. First we decided it was a good thing. WWE can have a decent PPV without Cena. But that got us thinking, when was the last PPV that Cena wasn't at, period? No matches, no promos, no interviews, NOTHING. The best we could come up was the later part of 2007 which led to up to his return at the Royal Rumble in '08. Surely that isn't the case. That means its been FOUR years since we've had a PPV without him. Can you help us out on this one?

OK, so we're going on no live appearance? I mean, it might be a video package or something… Hell, if you don't discount video packages it's forever since he's been in the opening for ages. But ok, let's go on live appearances.

*works backwards*

Survivor Series 2010 he was a ref…

Ah, Cyber Sunday, 2008. Cena was not there due to his time out in 2008 due to a herniated disc in his neck, which was the surgery that led to some surprised people as he was up and about at a live event hours after having the surgery done on his neck. Which is a scary thought, guy gets his neck cut into, and is up and laughing at a show hours later. Like, geez.

So anyway, yeah, that's the last time he wasn't in any way on a PPV. So not quite 4 years. Just.

You know how normally I have some funny/cool wrestling videos here? Well I got nothing this week. So have some nostalgia instead.




Adam has a whole bunch of questions.

Thank you for answering my previous questions i have several new ones for you.

1) In 1998 Marc Mero was forced to leave the WWF after losing a match to Duane Gill, He was still in contract and wasn't injured as he wrestled on the UK PPV, Capitol Carnage the following weekend. What was the non-Kayfabe reason for him being taken off TV so abruptly?

Because he quit. Despite having 3 years left on his contract, Mero was upset with a variety of things with the WWF, and so he basically up and quit. Thus the retirement thing was written and filmed, but then for some reason he decided to show up in England anyway for the English UK only PPV, possibly because he wanted a trip to England and the tickets were already booked.

But yeah, the negotiations he was having with the WWF broke down enough that they split up, using him to put over a comedy character on his way out and then involving him in some T&A afterwards. Speaking of…

2) On a slightly related note, at Capital Carnage, Jacqueline ended up on Tim Whites shoulders only to be stripped topless. This was more than a year before the "first" intentional topless diva (The Kat at Armageddon 1999). Why did they throw away the moment on a UK PPV rather than a show that more than 10% of their veiwers could watch?

Because they could get away with it easier on UK PPV. The United Kingdom, and to a lesser extent the rest of the world, has had a more relaxed attitude to nudity than America has had at times. Go to the UK and buy a copy of the Sun, and you'll find…

…

MAKE THIS HAPPEN NOW!!!

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, the UK is much less averse to having a bird having her knockers out for a bit of a butcher's. So when WWF was still testing the waters and working their way into new territory, they took the chance to see what would happen. Had there been an outcry in the UK, they would have been much less reluctant to do it in the US. But since there was no outcry, then that gave them the courage to do it later on with The Kat. And she ended up doing it again after Armageddon 1999 at another UK only PPV, Insurrextion 2000. Again, there were no complaints. The land of Benny Hill and Monty Python and Page 3 don't mind as much as the USA does.

BTW, in the very unlikely event you've never seen Jacqueline's topless bit, some foolhardy guy has put it on Youtube, albeit under bizarre labelling. He won't let me embed it, but I can link you to what you need.

3) Tito Santana is a true wrestling legend, he was hugely over during the Rock and Wrestling era as well as before and still has a good relationship with the WWE. Why then, bar the HoF does he get no recognition? What got me thinking about it was that in the last 2 years there have been 2 different WWF wrestling games based around legends and Tito would fiot perfectly in either, yet was missed out.

Yeah, it is odd. Yes, Tito was never the guy, but he was a bigish name for many years, and has served the company very well while he was under contract. But I believe that contract is the key here, as I couldn't find any proof that Tito has a legends contract with WWE. You know those deals you occasionally hear people signing? I can't find Tito signing one. I can understand why, since he still wrestles occasionally and so he may well choose not to sign away his name just yet. But since WWE doesn't have him under contract, they'd have to seek him out and sign a special deal. And he's not, in their eyes, worth it. If/when he does sign a legends contract, I'm sure he'll be featured more often. But since they'd have to put in some more work to get him, they don't get him.

4) Have any former football (soccer for the yanks) players been able to have a sucessful wrestling career?

I'd have thought Eric Cantona would be a shoe in for a career. He's already got a finisher and everything.



Or even a high flyer like this guy.



I found one guy off the bat, Paul Diamond, who had a respectable career as a tag team specialist, as part of Badd Company, The Orient Express and also as… Sigh, Max Moon. The Canadian/Hungarian Wolfman, Willie Farkas, came to Canada to play soccer but ended up as a wrestler, and had a decent career in the 70's onwards.

Daffney supposedly was a very good soccer player in her youth, as was Tom ‘Dynamite Kid' Billington. But those were more that they played the game well as a kid, neither was professional (although supposedly Daffney was close…)

5) Who did Mideon piss off to get given the Naked Mideon gimmick,it can only have been a rib, nobody backstage could have seriously thought that would get over.

There are two stories, the one that went around the net for a bit and the one from Dennis himself.

The internet story is that Kurt Angle liked to hang around naked after his matches. Just chilling and letting his one I and 2 O's get a good airing. So one day, Dennis decides to beat his record at hanging around naked. Kurt gets the hint and begins to hang around in underwear, but then it evolved from there.

Dennis' story, however, is that while Kurt was involved, it was partly his idea. Supposedly a bunch of the wrestlers were asked to come out for a meet and greet. And as a rib, Dennis turned up naked except for a fanny pack (which is well known as being essential for any true professional wrestler). The next day, Vince asked him to do it in the ring, and then it went from there. He liked it since he got to not wrestle for a few months, just run to the ring and then away again.

So it began as a harmless rib and then Vince liked it. So Vince I guess… But then Mideon enjoyed it so… Yeah.

6) Somewhere between Summerslam 1999 and No Mercy 1999, Chyna and HHH went from being inseperable to never sharing the tv screen together again, was there ever an on-screen explanantion for this?

Thanks, in advance, for the answers

I looked through the 1999 archive in history of WWE and it's odd in that Shades of Grey were in full force, as Chyna would be the clear face as Jeff Jarrett beat her up early in the show, and then she'd help Triple H retain his title as a heel later on.

However, if you look at her career from before Summerslam 99 onwards, you can see a clear deterioration of the relationship. From the moment Chyna was, briefly, #1 Contender to the WWF title by pinning Triple H, they begin a slow break up. As Chyna begins to focus more on Jarrett, she begins to pull away from HHH, and vice versa as they focus on their own problems, even though they still help each other. At Rebellion HHH says that he doesn't care about Chyna's issues with Jarrett and Davey Boy Smith as he's focused on keeping his title. The next night on Raw, Smith uses Chyna to send a message to HHH, giving him till 10 to come to the ring or he'd slam Chyna. He did it on 3, but HHH never showed anyway. They did team up the following week…



And then at No Mercy, Chyna wins the IC title, helps Triple H escape from Austin, and then that's the last time they interact. The following night on Raw, Triple H has to deal with facing Rock AND Austin at Survivor Series, and Chyna has a new friend…



Miss Kitty is suddenly by her side, and Chris Jericho is on her case. So, basically, it would appear that Triple H couldn't handle Chyna having a little slave girl.

…

Well that's… Stupid.

Although I suppose you could argue that he had a problem from a traditionalist's standpoint of her being IC champ. Maybe he asked her to vacate, she refused, and that's why they split up.

But no, there was not official reason.

Davy has two questions.

Hi, love your column

I have a couple of questions:

1) Has there ever been a reveal in any promotion wherein a masked wrestler reveals himself by putting *on* his mask? Maybe, for example, a nondescript non-combatant interferes in a match to everyone's confusion and then puts on his familiar mask to everyone's shock?

I am fairly sure that that has never happened, at least on a major scale. A Mexican or Japanese company wouldn't have anyone unmasked for any reason, and American companies… I don't recall anyone doing that. Readers?

2) What are the chances that WWE will use Kings Of Wrestling's awesome theme song?

Thanks

Given that Chris Hero doesn't appear to be heading into WWE any time soon, zero. But at the time this was written he seemed to be on his way, and if he was to turn up… It's not impossible given that the Emilio Sparks, one of the producers, seems to be a hip dude who understands cash, but I somehow doubt it. I think Vince would just get Jim Johnson to do a soundalike.

Matthew asks me a quick question.

Hey Matthew--

Very quickly, your column is awesome and a highlight of the 411Wrestling week. Now onto to some questions

How many matches did Zeus have in the WWF? The only ones I have seen/read about/heard about/could find is the main event of SummerSlam 89, Hogan v. Dibiase's team at SS89, and the big cage match b/w Hogan, Beefcake, Savage, and Zeus. Surely he had a house show loop against Hogan in late '89 or something, but I guess it might have only been three matches...

Thanks

Zeus had a few appearances on the Brother Love show, and at ringside, but in terms of matches in the WWF, those are indeed his only matches. He managed DiBiase a couple times and got bodyslammed, but those three matches are the sole ones he had in WWF.

My Damn Opinion

Gardendale Performance has a simple but complex question.

Do you think the WWE wellness policy is working?

It depends on what you mean by working. What exactly are you asking it to do? Do I think it's working to make guys clean, sober, and drug free? I can't say that for sure since I'm not a doctor, but I personally am not 100% sure that everyone is clean. But is it working as a way for the WWE to avoid scrutiny and cover their asses, do I think is it working as a way for WWE to not be yelled at by the Government and the media? Yes, absolutely.

To clarify, I'm all in favour of the boys and girls being clean. And I'm willing to bet that there is a genuine desire to help and make sure it's working on behalf of the WWE front office. But it's crazy to assume that it's the sole reason for its existence. The policy exists so that the WWE can avoid hard questions. The fact that it may or may not help people is a side issue. It's a PR thing first and foremost. The fact that it may well be helping people is just a nice bonus, from their point of view.

Travis wants my opinion on this WM card. Apologies for the format, but this is what I got.

perfect mania

1.Rock vs Cena*

CENA WINS SINCE HE'LL BE AROUND ROCK WON'T

2.HHH vs Undertaker* SPECIAL GUEST REF HBK

CALLED DOWN THE MIDDLE UNDERTAKER JUST BARELY WINS AGAIN. HBK is only there for name value and the possible tease of turning on either.

3.WWE champ Cm Punk vs Jericho w/Johnny L.

I don't know who would win this but either way it will be awesome.

4.WORLD CHAMP BRYAN VS RUMBLE WINNER SHEAMUS*

SHEAMUS WINS THE RUMBLE AND THE TITLE AT MANIA. LAST FEW RUMBLE WINNERS LOST AT THE BIG ONE. EDGE WON 2010 RUMBLE AND LOST DEL RIO DID THE SAME LAST YEAR SO THE RUMBLE WINNER NEEDS TO WIN AND REALLY ORTON DOESN'T NEED IT. RUMOR HAS IT HE'LL BE BACK IN TIME FOR THE RUMBLE WITH UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH BARRETT. THE INTERNET RUMBLE WINNER PICKS ARE ORTON AND JERICHO. I SAY GO SHEAMUS. PLUS BRYAN AND SHEAMUS FOR THE US TITLE GOT BUMPED LAST YEAR MIGHT AS WELL DO IT THIS YEAR.

5.US CHAMP SWAGGER VS RYDER*

RYDER GOT SCREWED BUT IF HE REBOUNDS AND COMES AT SWAGGER TOUGH THIS SHOULD BE AN AWESOME MATCH. SWAGGER KEEPS THE US TITLE FROM RYDER THROUGH VICKIE CRAP AT ELIMINATION CHAMBER, SINCE IT WASN'T CLEAN RYDER GETS HIS REMATCH AT MANIA. I HEAR THERE ARE TALKS OF BRINGING IN SOMEONE FROM JERSEY SHORE TO WORK WITH RYDER FOR MANIA FOR CELEBRITY INVOLVMENT. SO HE COMES TO THE RING WITH RYDER TO COUNTER VICKIE RYDER GETS THE WIN AND TITLE.

6.ORTON* VS BARRETT NO HOLDS BARRED/STEEL CAGE

THE FINAL BLOW OFF TO THIS FEUD. THEY HAVE GONE AT IT ENOUGH. ORTON MAKES HIS BIG RETURN FROM INJURY AT THE RUMBLE. HE ELIMINATES BARRETT AND POSSIBLY EVEN HIMSELF TO KEEP BEATING ON BARRETT. THEY ELIMINATE EACH OTHER IN THE CHAMBER AND FINISH HERE. IT SELLS ITSELF.

7.IC TITLE MATCH CODY RHODES* VS GOLDUST TITLE VS CAREER

I BET WE GET GOLDUST VS RHODES AT ELIMINATION CHAMBER. CODY WILL WIN OF COURSE AND THE GOLDEN ONE WILL WANT A REMATCH TO PUT HIS LITTLE BROTHER IN HIS PLACE. CODY WILL DO IT ONE LAST TIME IF GOLDIE PUTS ENOUGH ON THE LINE. CODY KEEPS THE BELT TO BUILD UP A BIG TIME HEEL.

8 DEL RIO, CHRISTIAN ,MIZ, VS KOFI,TRUTH,REY

if rey isn't healthy i would expect a ted dibiase substitution here. but this gets everyone from the mid card they have been using and should be getting the big mania pay day. put it on fairly early, give it 15 minutes and have Miz or Truth involved in the finish so they can settle the score next ppv at extreme rules. build it by having miz eliminate truth from the rumble and chamber. basically they don't like each other so they want to screw the other over. so they do.

9.ZIGGLER VS MICK FOLEY

Foley boots him from the Rumble match or costs him the title at the rumble and we have a nice build up and Foley puts Ziggler over.

10.Big Show vs Shaq

11.DIVAS MATCH.

Well your first 4 are sound, with the HBK thing a nice twist. Ryder I now am thinking might get Kane in a shoot the dog moment… No, that's not fair, he might get the win. No, that's not cynical enough, he'll lose when Eve turns heel and hooks up with Kane, since he's due for another girl.

Steel cage at a WM? Really? How would that work logistically? In an arena?

Cody V Goldust I'm cool with. The 6 man has precedent, although I'm thinking more some giant clusterfuck tag lumberjack match. Ziggler/Foley looks unlikely now, despite my confident claims. And the other two are what they are, namely PR and the Kharma Kills Bitches Tour 2012 Kick Off.

So my opinion is that it's ok but needs work.

Big Diesel asks a huge question to finish with.

Been reading 411 since around 2003, when the site still had a snazzy black colour scheme going on. Also need to say that 'Ask' has always been my favourite column, pure wrestling nirvana...

Anyway, my question is pretty broad and has probably been answered to some degree before, but;

What is the most 'complete' match of all time? What I mean by that is the one that was the most complete in terms of timing (with regards to the Zeitgeist, and the stages that the respective wrestlers were at in their careers), history, build, booking, workrate, commentary, crowd reaction, reception and finish.

Im really trying to think of a match that had nothing which detracted from it at all. To put it another way, if we could show one single match to some visting aliens who would presumably be virgins, what would be THE definitive match?

I guess Taker/ Michaels 1 would be the immediate answer from me, but then I cant help but feel that its just too obvious... Perhaps Rock/ Austin at WM17? I could go on, but its your column...

Why do the aliens have to be virgins? Wrestling fans can get laid, you just… Oh, you mean wrestling virgins, my bad.

One single match is hard, in that the best matches tend to be part of sets. Punk/Cena will I'm sure be at the top of many people's lists, but then Punk did botch a few things. And Troll Cole is on commentary, so I am reluctant to give that the honor.

HBK/Taker is a safe modern choice, but I think if you knew nothing of HBK's history, it might be slightly flat.

It's an old cliché, but I do have to give it to Flair/Steamboat, Clash VI, the 2 out of 3 falls match. It's probably the finest match I've ever seen, the commentary is spot on, Tommy Young is perfect, it's the greatest match, in my mind. I'm sure the readers disagree. Say so below and we can discuss it next week. Until then, I'll bid you all goodnight and see you later.