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411’s Instant Analysis 02.06.12: Monday Night Raw

February 6, 2012 | Posted by Sat

Welcome to this week’s Instant Analysis of Monday Night Raw. I’m your humble reviewer, Chad Nevett and the big question on everyone’s mind is: is John Laurinaitis fired? After all, Triple H was interrupted last week and this is wrestling. For all we all like to pretend that wrestling isn’t stupid, sometimes it’s very, very stupid. Will this be such a week? Let’s find out…

SEGMENT ONE: One More Time…

Hey, if that didn’t convince you of a Triple H/Undertaker match at WrestleMania, I’m not sure what will. Triple H basically made the argument that he didn’t want to do anything worth to the Undertaker than he did last year and the Undertaker used that as the argument for why he deserves another match: being carried out shouldn’t be the way the Undertaker’s final match ends — and nor should Triple H have that over him. The stupid part, of course, was how Laurinaitis wasn’t fired because Triple H didn’t finish the sentence last week. We can all roll our eyes collectively. Otherwise, this places another Triple H/Undertaker match firmly into the Flair/Michaels/Undertaker/Triple H story that began at WrestleMania XXIV… and that’s pretty damn cool.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

SEGMENT TWO: The Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
Match Result: The Big Show won via countout
Match Length: Five minutes, forty-five seconds

Apparently, dating Daniel Bryan robs women of the ability to protect themselves and to get out of the way of an angry giant. Now, AJ presumably has these skills as a Diva… but, maybe not. It is strange. The match here was the typical big man/little man stuff these two have worked before, leading to a finish that was about advancing this story more than anything. That’s fine. It’s not really a story that I like or care about, though. Maybe if this was how AJ entered the WWE and, later, began wrestling… we’ve seen her wrestle. She’s not helpless or stupid.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

SEGMENT THREE: David Otunga vs. Sheamus
Match Result: Sheamus pinned David Otunga
Match Length: A little over two minutes

Sometimes, I wonder about why Sheamus always looks so excited when he’s about to take on an opponent that’s so clearly below him. Then, I imagine asking Sheamus about that and his response is always “If I didn’t fight against opponents weaker than me, I wouldn’t get to fight against anybody, fella.” The only thing I didn’t like was the brief period of time where Otunga got in some offense. C’mon, Sheamus… you’re better than that.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: The Best in the World is Back

Well, we were all expecting this and Jericho explaining how everyone is ripping him off was pretty funny, especially when he included guys like Dolph Ziggler because he walks down to the ring with Vickie Guerrero and Jericho walked down to the ring with Stephanie McMahon at WrestleMania X8. He, of course, singled out CM Punk as a Jericho rip-off and wannabe… and Punk came out to say nothing, only holding the belt up in the air and leaving with Jericho screaming at him to say something… Pretty good stuff. Jericho’s scowl was funny.

Rating: 8.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FIVE: Randy Orton & the Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes
Match Result: The Great Khali pinned Cody Rhodes
Match Length: A bit under four minutes

Worst. RKO. Ever. Anyone who wondered why the Great Khali was given 411’s Worst Wrestler of the Year award for 2011, this match gave some good reasons. Always nice to see a match where Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett don’t matter one bit and it’s all about Khali…

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

SEGMENT SIX: Eve, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox & Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya & the Bella Twins
Match Result: Tamina pinned a Bella
Match Length: A minute and a half

The only worthwhile part was the titslap by Beth Phoenix…

Rating: 3.5 out of 10

SEGMENT SEVEN: John Laurinaitis is Still Around

I could watch Triple H threaten to beat up John Laurinaitis all day. I just could. Also, an Ambulance match? That’s a horrible idea.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT EIGHT: Six-Pack Challenge – CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston
Match Result: Chris Jericho pinned Dolph Ziggler
Match Length: A little over twelve minutes

This was a fun match. The way that everyone attacked Jericho at first was great after the way he ran his mouth. Dolph Ziggler showing off when he was in the ring alone could have went on longer for my taste. R-Truth’s elimination on medical reasons was strange — legit? In story? Once back from the break, the in-ring action was good. Ziggler and the Miz working together, the double-pin (see, the Miz IS like Jericho!), Jericho and Kingston doing some nice work, and a fantastic finish. This was a little chaotic and had some convenient down times for some guys — but, fun.

Kane’s little speech to Eve reminded me that we hadn’t had any of that story yet tonight… so close, WWE. So close.

Rating: 8.0 out of 10

FINAL THOUGHTS

Segment of the Night: Triple H/Undertaker Promo and Videos

Trash Segment of the Night: The Eight-Diva Tag Match

Final Analysis: There were some filler segments and an overabundance on video packages, but that didn’t stop this from being a Raw with three strong segments in Triple H/Undertaker, Jericho/Punk, and the Six-Pack Challenge. The stories are on point and advancing well. Decent episode.

Verdict: 7.5

411 RATINGS SCALE:
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9: Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect