411's Instant Analysis 02.13.12: Monday Night Raw
Posted by Chad Nevett on 02.13.2012
What did we think of Shawn Michaels returning to Raw, the Elimination Chamber debate, Randy Orton vs. the Big Show and more? Check out 411's RAW Instant Analysis to find out!
Welcome to this week's Instant Analysis of Monday Night Raw. I'm your humble reviewer, Chad Nevett and it's the go-home Raw before Elimination Chamber. You know, I am really coming to hate having a pay-per-view between the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania. Sheamus is in a holding pattern until the PPV is over and we see who the champions heading into 'Mania will be. I really like the Elimination Chamber matches, so I wish they'd shunt it to another time of the year and drop the February PPV. Give the build to WrestleMania a nice amount of space. That won't happen, of course... Ah well. Let's get to Raw tonight...
SEGMENT ONE: The Elimination Chamber Debate
Dolph Ziggler summed this up in his final rant about this being a waste of time and wanting his 15 minutes left. I'll give the WWE points for trying to avoid the standard 'one guy calls out another and then a parade of guys emerge from the back' promo segment. Those are pretty awful. However, starting with all of the wrestlers in the ring and having them 'debate' the match they're going to be in on Sunday? Not an improvement. This was tedious to watch. And, goddamn, CM Punk, responding with "Oh, I wasn't listening" is about the worst comeback a person can make. Though, I will concede that I plan on throwing my support behind R-Truth for Raw General Manager in the upcoming election. His ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to his newsletter. They have matches scheduled: let them sell this match. Take these 15 minutes and give the three booked matches five more minutes.
Rating: 4.0 out of 10
SEGMENT TWO: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi "Afterthought" Kingston Match Result: Chris Jericho pinned Kofi Kingston Match Length: Almost five and a half minutes
It's always entertaining to see these two wrestle. Kingston performed like he had something to prove (which he did after the debate) and Jericho did a good job of selling the idea that he was outperforming Kingston mentally but not physically. He outsmarted Kingston every step of the way and that's how he won: he wrestled smarter. It was a good example of young and fiery vs. older and experienced... and, of course, the evil heel veteran won.
Rating: 7.5 out of 10
SEGMENT THREE: Randy "Stupid Stupid Stupid" Orton vs. the Big Show Match Result: The Big Show won via DQ Match Length: Almost seven and a half minutes
Well, that was a pretty awesome botch, right? Orton went for the RKO and hit it... except for the part where he jumps and lands on his back. Instead, he stayed standing, the Big Show went down, and Orton just sort of stood by the ropes, obviously contemplating the mistake he made. It's not so much that the botch was bad (and it was), it's that the recovery wasn't there; Orton drew attention to the mistake rather than getting on with things. Beyond that, the match wasn't bad. I liked the variation on Orton's usual Hangman DDT and the finish of Bryan attacking them both in turn with the World Title teases the Elimination Chamber a bit more. But... that botch... stupid, eh?
Rating: 5.5 out of 10
SEGMENT FOUR: Shawn Michaels Demands the Rematch
Before I get to the point of this segment, I have to say how much I enjoyed the brief glimpses of Shawn Michaels rocking out to Motörhead. A little air guitar, a little singing along... that was pretty awesome and I wish we saw more of it.
As for the segment itself... I absolutely loved it. It kept me enthralled the entire time. Triple H's speech about not wanting to end the brand because it's bad for business was a surprising place to take this story -- and Michaels's response made it seem like a cover for Triple H being a coward. Maybe that's the truth, maybe it's not. Either way, both men left in the ring with that promo. My only fear is that they oversold Triple H refusing to give the Undertaker his rematch. Where do you go from here? Part of me thinks we'll get a tease of Michaels coming out of retirement when he says that, if Triple H won't do it, he will, and that being the thing that gets Triple to finally accept. The Undertaker's video was interesting. It solved a practical concern about the Undertaker's shorter hair and, maybe, teased a return of the American Badass?
But, Michaels and Trips... that was pure emotion and a reminder of how damn good both men can be on the mic.
Rating: 9.5 out of 10
SEGMENT FIVE: Dolph "Named After Flipper" Ziggler vs. R-Truth Match Result: R-Truth pinned Dolph Ziggler Match Length: Two and a half minutes
Not a long match, but it was energetic and had a good finish with Ziggler showing off and R-Truth taking advantage to pick up the win. The storytelling was good enough to overlook the shortness of the match (mostly).
Rating: 6.0 out of 10
SEGMENT SIX: Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella Match Result: Tamina Snuka pinned Brie Bella Match Length: A minute and a half
Ryan Byers's comment on Tamina using the Snuka name now is pretty damn funny. More entertaining than this match, at least. Tamina killed that Bella Twin. And no one is surprised.
Rating: 4.5 out of 10
SEGMENT SEVEN: John Cena is a Lover, Not a Hater
Just when you thought this whole Kane/Cena/Ryder/Eve storyline couldn't get any dumber, it does! A few weeks ago, Eve blamed John Cena for Kane attacking Zack Ryder and, this week, she makes out with him hard after he stops Kane from kidnapping her in an ambulance? Look, I get that wrestling is 'male soap opera' and everything, but that doesn't mean it should be aspiring to be 'soap opera soap opera' in its stories. All that was missing was John Cena revealing that what makes Eve kissing him especially wrong is that he's her brother. Though, this did have Eve dropping the dreaded f-bomb on poor Zack... If only they'd stopped after that little video promoting the Rock promoting his most recent movie...
Rating: 0.5 out of 10
SEGMENT EIGHT: CM Punk vs. the Miz Match Result: CM Punk made the Miz tap out Match Length: Five minutes
Good match up until the finish. The focus on Punk's left arm drove a lot of this match with the Miz targeting it and Punk selling it so well, and that's what makes me down on the finish. Punk using the Anaconda Vice relied on him using that arm in a big way and I would have liked to see the Miz get out of it because of that, putting Punk's ability to win on Sunday in doubt a little. Of course, everyone hates the Miz right now, so that couldn't happen. Otherwise (and that was a small nitpick), I enjoyed this. The Miz worked the arm well, Punk sold the hell out of it, and the two had good chemistry.
Rating: 7.0 out of 10
SEGMENT NINE: John Cena Can't Rise Above Zack Ryder's Hate
Kane is evil, yo. Pure evil. John Cena does everything right and it's not so much that he embraced the hate, it's that Eve is kind of a bad, thoughtless person and Ryder is kind of an idiot who blames the wrong person for things. Cena has remained constant... And I've got nothing positive to say about this. Thank god Elimination Chamber is Sunday and we can move past this... right?
Rating: 3.0 out of 10
FINAL THOUGHTS
Segment of the Night: Shawn Michaels/Triple H
Trash Segment of the Night: Eve Kisses John Cena
Final Analysis: There was some decent wrestling on this episode of Raw, but it was a pretty mediocre to bad show aside from the Triple H/Shawn Michaels segment. Notice how everything leading up to Elimination Chamber is dragging the show down, while the one story with its eye on 'Mania is actually fantastic. The show began and ended poorly... somehow, the best segment of the night got stuck in the 'mid-show main event' slot. It's no surprise that this episode made me look forward to WrestleMania XXVIII and not care at all about Elimination Chamber. That was the point, right?
Verdict: 5.0
411 RATINGS SCALE:
0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor
5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
you put eve kissing cena as a trash segment. you are just jealous of cena like all his haters are.
Posted By: Guest#2532 (Guest) on February 13, 2012 at 11:39 PM
HHH vs taker at WM28 with HBK as ref. its gonna happen..
Posted By: Guest#8890 (Guest) on February 13, 2012 at 11:40 PM
I know that you hate this angle. But come on dude. If any angle gets the audience to turn against Cena and eve is doing something. I happen to disagree with you.Another great raw for three weeks. The angle actually makes me want to turn in next week, To see what the reactions are.
Posted By: Guest#3429 (Guest) on February 13, 2012 at 11:49 PM
Wes Kirk, you're not fooling anybody with this "Chad Nevett" crap. I know it's you.
Yes, it was an underwhelming episode of Raw and yes, the Eve/Cena thing was more soap opera-y than usual, but if you notice, Eve managed to get massive heel heat with the "Let's be Friends" line. Then, again when she came out to check on Zack. It's a step-up from the zero amount of heat she has drawn in the past three years.
Posted By: The Nard Dog (Guest) on February 13, 2012 at 11:54 PM
great raw this week. TNA will never get great ratings like Raw does. and i am sure raw will get a decent rating this week...
Posted By: Guest#2033 (Guest) on February 13, 2012 at 11:56 PM
Cena is a true player and all his haters just never get laid.
Posted By: Guest#4937 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
hahahahaha.
Posted By: Guest#5029 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:08 AM
I think the problem with the Raw chamber as opposed to the Smackdown chamber is that, besides the Jericho/Punk altercation and vying for last entry, no one has really done anything to add to the story of the match. They've just wrestled each other. While the Smackdown chamber has done that as well, they've also been developing more interesting dynamics between the participants. We've had the Bryan/Show saga, but also a new developing Orton/Bryan situation, Show/Orton situation, Orton/Barret situation, Plus, the Smackdown chamber has more viable options to win. I could see either Orton, Bryan, or Barrett walking out with the title. I don't see Cody walking out chamion, and I don't think it's time for him yet.
Posted By: Guest#8878 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:09 AM
Ryder getting friendzoned + Eve apparently huge tits I've missed out on should be a minimun of a 9/10.
Posted By: SS87 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:22 AM
i dont know what the fuck is happening anymore!
Posted By: Guest#5898 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:00 AM
I cant wait for Impact on Thursday so I can watch some real wrestling. Not this "As the WWE Universe Turns" or whatever this soap opera is.
Posted By: Guest#8072 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:04 AM
'Before I get to the point of this segment, I have to say how much I enjoyed the brief glimpses of Shawn Michaels rocking out to Motörhead. A little air guitar, a little singing along... that was pretty awesome and I wish we saw more of it'
I've never really understood why the likes of Sheamus & (face) Jericho never came out lip-synching. Their themes are fucking cool & it'd look great to see that they liked them too. Don't alter their normal ring-entrances at all, just throw the lip-synching in with it.
Posted By: The Hitcher (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:06 AM
The 100% meaningless one on one matches were boring. The cena/Kane stuff rocked. I love drama.
Posted By: Michael (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:07 AM
Well, that was a waste. The Undertaker cuts his own hair off? For what? Why? What purpose does that serve?
I know they needed to find a way to explain Taker's lack of real hair nowadays, but come on... they could have at least waited till the week before Mania and have HHH go "Sledgehammer nuts" on Taker and take his hair. Ups the stakes and drama for WrestleMania...
This was a waste. And makes no sense.
Posted By: Crow21 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:22 AM
It was Big Show that botched the move, moron.
Posted By: WilliamMorgan (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:43 AM
AWESOME Raw this week. I just don't understand these reviewers.
Posted By: Guest#2714 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:45 AM
Always noticed that Orton is terrible at improv when things go badly. He always pauses to draw attention to his mistake before attempting to do it again. I vividly recall him fucking up a RKO on jericho while jericho had someone in the walls, so he whiffs, pauses, looks back, then does it again.
Posted By: Guest#0397 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:05 AM
I'd love for heel Cena and slut Eve. It'll be Edge and Lita 2k12!
Posted By: Guest#9570 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:10 AM
Pretty bad botch, but I thought that it was likely the Big Show's fault, considering the 'revised' ending seemed like it was the way it was suppose to go. But Randall K Orton didn't make it better looking around afterwards.
I'll disagree with you on the Kane/Cena/Eve/Zack angle. Yes, it's a bit over the top, but the amount of heat brought on to Cena (no dueling chants, only Cena Sucks chants) and Eve (considering no one gave a crap about her before) showed that it created a pretty big reaction. If the goal of this angle is to have everybody solidly against Cena, it's working. This week was the first that actually made me care about where the angle is going, and I think it's the same for many
Posted By: BJ316 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:40 AM
"Ryder getting friendzoned + Eve apparently huge tits I've missed out on should be a minimun of a 9/10.
Posted By: SS87 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:22 AM"
Eve's always had huge tits. Alicia Fox too. But they usually have to conceal them in this PG, kid-friendly era. Which is kind of ironic since I'm pretty sure they both got the mandatory new Diva boob job that seemingly all the divas except for the Bella Twins had to get.
Anyway, good show tonight. The HBK/HHH segment was great and all the matches were decent enough. The Cena/Ryder/Kane stuff is definitely too over-the-top but if their goal is to get the ENTIRE audience (including the kids) to turn on Cena, then this might actually be the best way to go about it. Unfortunately.
Posted By: Jack Donaghy (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:51 AM
The true victim of this Cena/Kane debacle is Zack Rider! Ever since this horrid angle stared Rider has been nothing but buried.
Posted By: Who (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 03:51 AM
HHH v Taker v HBK - now THAT I'm interested in... Book it by GAWD !
Posted By: dj_bollocks (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 04:36 AM
anybody else saw eve getting in the ambulance by herself lol and somebody poked kane in his arm with the script paper signalling him to go. one of the most awkward backstage scene ever. and why is zack ryder appearing on shows when he is injured? not just any injury but a 'broken back'.
Posted By: Guest#1695 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 06:30 AM
" this episode made me look forward to WrestleMania XXVIII and not care at all about Elimination Chamber"
That's pretty much how I felt about it.
Posted By: Bubba (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 07:15 AM
Ryder getting friendzoned + Eve apparently huge tits I've missed out on should be a minimun of a 9/10.
Posted By: SS87 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:22 AM
Yes.
Posted By: Guy (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 07:29 AM
I think Kane is phoning it in and Cena suggesting Kane's master plan was to get him to kiss Eve was kind of stupid (hopefully Ryder at some point tells him that). But the Cena/Zack/Eve stuff seemed to get a good crowd response. And it was unexpected, like HHH going corporate with his Undertaker excuse. For all the bad writing going on, those seemed like two interesting twists. Hopefully they don't fart out like many promising storylines on this show.
Posted By: big guy (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 08:00 AM
"The Undertaker cuts his own hair off? For what? Why? What purpose does that serve?"
To cover for that gahdawful wig from a couple of weeks ago.
Posted By: s1rude (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 08:28 AM
HHH v Taker v HBK - now THAT I'm interested in... Book it by GAWD !
Posted By: dj_bollocks (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 04:36 AM
That would be the wrestling equivalent of Cocoon III
Posted By: No (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 09:10 AM
Best segment of the night, Ryder being fucking LAUNCHED off the stage in the wheelchair. That was fantastic. He's a modern day, live action Mr. Bill! It's worth tuning in just to see the creative ways they are going to try and break him. Fantastic.
Posted By: TheBig500 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Really? People were surprised by HHH's corporate reason for not fighting Undertaker. While it's not the exact reason I was expecting, I was expecting a corporate reason.
Remember when he came on and told Laurinaitis that the board would let him have control of RAW back if he could not let his personal feelings cloud his judgement? Right after that is when the Undertaker came out. I figured he wasn't going to risk his position as an executive to be baited into a match for personal reasons.
Posted By: Carl (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Daniel Bryan ending a snoozefest between the two slowest, laziest workers on the roster gave him huge face points in my book. I hope Blandy Boreton and Big Slow feud until after 'Mania. That way we can kill 2 birds with one stone (which should be pretty easy, given the size and lethargy of the birds in question). Also, Ryder has no one to blame but himself. He wasn't enough for Eve. That's not her fault, and it sure ain't Cena's. It doesn't make her a slut, or Cena an asshole. It just makes Ryder a bitch.
Posted By: Sharpshooter (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 11:34 AM
This was a good Raw until after the HHH/HBK segment. The matches got too short and the promo at the end was awful. Thank god this whole Cena/Kane/Zack Ryder story line is almost over!
Posted By: Rawr (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 12:20 PM
We get it.
You don't like Cena.
Maybe it is a bit of self hating homoeroticism, or just another sad, pathetic internet writer trying to show how ubercool he is by just hating on Cena, but whatever the case is, we get it.
Now that that is in the open, how about losing your bias and just TRYING to be fair.
The Cena stuff wasn't at all great, but it was worth more than you rated it just for the storytelling.
And thanks for completely missing the point of the final segment.
Seriously, where is Sat these days? At least he knew something about what he was watching.
Posted By: Guest#8217 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:14 PM
Big Show botched. He was meant to push Orton into the ropes. Y'know, like they did straight after when he got up again. So maybe lay off Orton for that one, eh?
Posted By: Tteven dahC (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:15 PM
More weeks HHH continue to say no, less logical it will look when he finally agrees.
It better be some logical reason behind Taker's hair cut...cause it's stupid to use the wig and 2 weeks later cut his hair without any reason.
Posted By: ermacermac (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:26 PM
Gotta love Triple H saying he Shawn and Taker were the end of an era of guys who'd leave it all in the ring. Nice way to take a shot at every other young wrestler in the company.
Posted By: Guest#7802 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:29 PM
That San Diego crowd was on fire last night. It'll be interesting to see if Kane/Cena/Eve/Ryder gets the same reaction from a normal or dead crowd...what kind of rep does Milwaukee have?
Posted By: s1rude (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:43 PM
Flipped by, saw HBK in the ring, and stopped to hear what he was going to.
Giving credit where credit is due, that segment was epic. The HHH/HBK is Exhibit A, for how to add a needed layer to a rematch, especially one with no real logical reason for happening otherwise. Michaels, going from "friend, wanting to give his man confidence" to "dude, walking through the 'empty suit' that his friend's become", delivered the goods.
You add in Taker finally realizing a bit of his own mortality, and I'm looking forward to this match.
Congrats WWE, the rest of the show, from what I saw, was utter trash, but at least you've got the arc for the Undertaker match squared away and a match, that you can expect people to pay to see.
Posted By: scipio2009 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:56 PM
Well, that was a waste. The Undertaker cuts his own hair off? For what? Why? What purpose does that serve?
I know they needed to find a way to explain Taker's lack of real hair nowadays, but come on... they could have at least waited till the week before Mania and have HHH go "Sledgehammer nuts" on Taker and take his hair. Ups the stakes and drama for WrestleMania...
This was a waste. And makes no sense.
Posted By: Crow21 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 01:22 AM
Why don't you like...you know...wait and see how it unfolds?? Stupid fucking asshole. "I need to know everything NOW or it's stupid and makes no sense!! AHHHH." Why not show some patience and find out later. Douche bag.
Posted By: Erik.. (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 04:19 PM
Love the smarks who get on Orton's case for standing around after the botch by Show. Did you hear Show angrily say "F---?" Would you approach a ticked off 7 footer that was mad like that that soon?
Plus it isnt like Randy could just pick that blob off the mat and redo the spot again just like that. At least Orton kept his anger in tact,unlike Punk a few months ago on Raw when he dropped a charging Ziggler for the match ending GTS.
Posted By: Gary (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 04:34 PM
Why don't you like...you know...wait and see how it unfolds?? Stupid fucking asshole. "I need to know everything NOW or it's stupid and makes no sense!! AHHHH." Why not show some patience and find out later. Douche bag.
Posted By: Erik.. (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 04:19 PM
You do know this is the WWE right? I mean the reveal of who the Anon GM was still has me... wait, no reveal?
Also ease up on the insults, man, makes you sound like you should lay off the caffeine a little!
Posted By: Guest#1100 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 06:34 PM
Eve's always had huge tits. Alicia Fox too. But they usually have to conceal them in this PG, kid-friendly era. Which is kind of ironic since I'm pretty sure they both got the mandatory new Diva boob job that seemingly all the divas except for the Bella Twins had to get.
Posted By: Jack Donaghy (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:51 AM
I definitely have noticed Alicia Fox's, which I was very surprised by. I guess I really had never paid much attention to Eve, other than her booty popping, and the fact that she's pretty decent in the ring.
As far as that being the way to have everybody turn on Cena, I think he'll get the same response regardless. Eve though, LOL they boo'd the crap out of her, but I would be thinking too logically if I thought the WWE would actually capitalize on that.
Posted By: SS87 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 07:40 PM
GEE, LOVED Triple H ,HATED Cena. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sorry fell asleep because that same old anti-anything Cena is boring.
Posted By: REALITY (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 08:52 PM
No mention of how Kane needed a producer to tap him on the back with a rolled up piece of paper to start kidnapping Eve?
Posted By: Z (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 09:06 PM
Eve's always had huge tits. Alicia Fox too. But they usually have to conceal them in this PG, kid-friendly era. Which is kind of ironic since I'm pretty sure they both got the mandatory new Diva boob job that seemingly all the divas except for the Bella Twins had to get.
Anyway, good show tonight. The HBK/HHH segment was great and all the matches were decent enough. The Cena/Ryder/Kane stuff is definitely too over-the-top but if their goal is to get the ENTIRE audience (including the kids) to turn on Cena, then this might actually be the best way to go about it. Unfortunately.
Posted By: Jack Donaghy (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 02:51 AM
The Bella Twins have great bodies so I guess they were left alone. They've been around for awhile and are pretty consistent, also they are used for a lot of the promotional appearances, including in the military or for hall of fame things. I liked them better as faces though, the trashy makeup they use as heels looks pretty bad, but I guess that's the intent.
As for the heel Cena thing with Eve, I dunno. I didn't see it, I'm just reading it, and I blame Eve more. Eve just comes off as a slut, and I think all this angle will do is make her look bad and possibly into a heel. I suppose then if they go with the "power couple" theme then Cena can also be a heel, but will they really go that far?
It's funny, Cena has had many opportunities to turn heel in the past where it would have been a smooth transition and made sense, but now if he does it feels totally forced and out of place. I don't think a Cena heel turn will even have an impact now, because of how forced it is, it's one of those things that even if it does happen now nobody will be surprised, they'll just think it's dumb, and if it doesn't happen, his character is going nowhere either. Really bad imo.
Posted By: Guest#8654 (Guest) on February 14, 2012 at 09:50 PM
Eve works for Kane. Tada!
Posted By: WHAT? (Guest) on February 15, 2012 at 06:08 AM
This was a lousy episode peppered with decent matches. I liked the debate, but the HBK-HHH wank-fest that had a nice burial of the entire roster went too long and bored me (though I agree with the guy chanting "You Tapped Out" to HHH at the end. The Kane and Cena stuff was too long and annoying. And I'm a Cena and Kane defender, typically. I've rarely been so glad for an episode of RAW to end.
I'm also suprised nobody, save a few commenters, noticed the embarrassment that was cutting to Kane and Eve too early. We got to watch Eve slowly get in the ambulance and sit down, then we have the director swing a rolled up paper, script I assume, signaling they were on, so that Kane can slam the door and Eve can resume screaming.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on February 15, 2012 at 04:16 PM
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