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Thursday Sports Entertainment Wrestling News Report 03.15.12: Most Valuable Superstar Edition

March 15, 2012 | Posted by Sean Kelly

You missed the most obvious reason – we currently have two top champions on the show. How can a guy be the World Champion when there’s a WWE Champion also claiming to be the best?

Posted By: Billy_Pilgrim (Guest) on March 08, 2012 at 12:45 AM

True! I’ve never understood how two guys can both claim to be the best, but rarely ever fight over it. There seems to be an unspoken rule where you don’t really antagonize the other guy for claiming to have the top belt. Everything made sense back in the days of the brand split, where each show had its own title, but now in the age of the “Super Show” and the de facto end of the split, having two sets of titles doesn’t make much sense.

I think you should re-watch the Indiana Jones movies.

In all four movies, Jones isn’t trying to find the ark, stones, holy grail, or crystal skull…he’s trying to stop Nazis, Commies, and crazy voodoo Indians.

Still I get what you’re saying. I disagree, but wrestling/sports entertainment is all about taste, so I won’t say you’re wrong.

You’re from the Vince Russo school, I’m from the Jim Cornette school and we can agree to disagree.

Posted By: Jose (Guest) on March 08, 2012 at 02:18 AM

Kinda disagree on the Indy thing. The Indiana Jones metaphor still holds up. Indy vs. Nazis, the winner gets the MacGuffin. In Wrestling, it’s the same thing. Face vs. Heel, winner gets the title. There’s usually an antagonist in a story who feels he/she has a rightful claim to the MacGuffin and tries to stop the hero from obtaining/retaining it at all costs. I like the Vince Russo/Jim Cornette school analogy, though.

I gotta say…this is just a fun column. I enjoy it.

Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest) on March 08, 2012 at 06:09 AM

Yay! Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it. You’ve given me a great confidence boost!

yawn, boring column

Posted By: Guest#5417 (Guest) on March 08, 2012 at 07:27 AM

And just like THAT, the confidence boost is gone! Sigh. Can’t please ‘em all.

I’m more of the Jim Cornette theory that MMA is exploding because they’ve taken old school wrestling ideas and applied it to fighting.

In UFC, you get “feuds” like Ortiz/Liddell, Sonnen/Silva, Evans/Jones, Lesnar/Mir…but at the end of the day, being Champion supersedes all else.

In my mind, if wrestling is a sports simulation (even if the sport is secondary to entertainment) then you should always want to protect the perceived value of the titles for all the reasons Ronnie laid out.
Posted By: Dick McDickerson (Guest) on March 08, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Yep, and you’re right! The perceived value should be maintained, because we have to believe that the wrestlers think they’re fighting over the most valuable thing in the world. In fact, I even said such in the column. The point was, that as fans, we shouldn’t get all worked up over David Arquette winning the title or the Fingerpoke of Doom because the titles are actually plot devices to move the story forward. Although it helps when they follow up with a decent storyline, but I digress.


Your friend @FGOODISH makes a lot sense and valid points.

Posted By: Candy Bottocks (Guest) on March 09, 2012 at 08:05 AM

I agree, even though he and I don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. I’d like to thank @Fgoodish for letting me quote him in last week’s column. And, not only that, but I’d like to thank him for giving me permission to make his entertaining tweets a recurring feature in this column. Yay! More @FGoodish is (F)good(ish) for everyone!

Greetings, folks. And welcome to the latest Thursday Sports Entertainment! Yee haw!

Lots of great debate last week, readers. The 411 commenters discussed the value of Wrestling titles, whether John Cena was unprofessional when smirking during the Rock’s promos, and the hilarity of the Hogan sex tape comments. Great conversation! I’m hoping to stir up some more debate this week when I rank the top 25 most valuable WWE Superstars! But first, the news!

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WEEKLY WORLD (WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT) NEWS

-WWE has added to their live event shows by holding contests to meet Superstars if you buy their merchandise and showing videos of the superstars preparing for their matches.

This is being done due to WWE’s ticket sales for live events and revenue being lower than expected. They want the house shows to have a bigger feel to them as well as a more personable experience with WWE talent.

This is a great idea. Personally, I find house shows to be better than attending a RAW or Smackdown event. Sure, you don’t get a chance at being on TV, but it’s much less scripted and, if the mood is right, you’ll often find the performers trying fun, new things. The last house show I went to at MSG, they had a dance contest. When one of the ladies was announced as being from New Jersey, she was mercilessly booed. R-Truth, the host of the dance contest, was cracking up. Awesome stuff. Making house shows more special with stuff like this can only benefit the fans and WWE.

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Jim Ross updated his blog, and among the updates was the following — On Warrior in the WWE HOF: What will it take to get Warrior in the WWE HOF? I don’t know but I know that attempting to barter additional video projects such as a DVD, etc likely won’t get it done. I’m not in that loop, luckily, but basic, logical communication usually works best. No one I know has ever argued that Warrior isn’t deserving. Personally, I have no issue with his outspoken personality as it is Warrior being Warrior and exercising his First Amendment rights.

Warrior has said on Twitter that he’s been asked to join the HoF and flat out said no. His logic was that how can a company honor someone they consider so self-destructive and unprofessional? I can’t blame him, either. The WWE put out a DVD where they essentially bashed him for 90 mins and he’s supposed to just forget about it?

I am an unabashed Warrior apologist. The man is one of Wrestling’s most recognizable characters, and clearly the WWE thinks so because he’s in their opening montage for all their programming. People dismiss him as being selfish but I think he is shunned because he is smart. The guy is a savvy businessman, which means that McMahon can’t make as much money off of him, and it drives Vince crazy. There’s a reason why Warrior can retire comfortably while older guys like Hogan and Flair are still embarrassing themselves in the ring. Warrior had the foresight to trademark his character and exploit it to its fullest extent. Bravo for Warrior for being a master businessman and for having the guts to stick to his guns and resist the temptation of joining the Hall of Fame.

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Word is that the reason that WWE has released so few matches for WrestleMania 28 is that WWE wants to give time for Rock vs. John Cena, HHH vs. Undertaker and CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho as well as time for any promos and vignettes involving the Rock on the show.

At last word, CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho will open the show, while Triple H vs. Undertaker will happen in the middle, and Rock vs. John Cena will close the show.

Wow, the WWE Title Match is curtain jerking the biggest event that WWE offers. I can understand why they’re doing that, though. You can’t have your three best matches back-to-back-to-back, but still. I also like how the Bryan/Sheamus match gets no mention at all, like it’s just another midcard match (which is basically is, as far as the build goes). I’m glad that they are giving the big matches more time. These are supposed to be monumental, historic matches, and such matches require at least 20-30 mins apiece. That’s 60-90 minutes of the show right there, not counting the video packages and entrances.

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– According to Pwinsider.com, Evan Bourne’s suspension for a wellness violation ends on March 18th. While there had been rumors that Bourne would be released due to the suspension, word now is that he could return and possibly begin a program with Jack Swagger.

At this time, Bourne is not advertised for any future events. There is concern within the company, due to the fact that Bourne has two wellness violations, and that they came in a short time. In the past, there have been others that have seen their pushes halted or dropped due to having two wellness violations. The general feeling within the company is that he can’t be trusted with a push due to the recent violations.

I say give him a decent push. The guy connects with the crowd, there’s no denying that. Worst case, Bourne screws up and you have someone else, like a Jack Swagger, unceremoniously kill him on the way out. This explains him not being on TV and you get another guy over in the process. Best case, Evan changes his ways and works his way back into everyone’s good graces.

The Oklahoma State Athletic Commission has sent out letters to promoters that they will not accept applications for pro wrestling, MMA and boxing events to be held in the state past March 31, which more or less bans the events from legally taking place in the state.

The letter said the Commission is being “threatened” by an “Out of State threat that could greatly affect the Commission’s ability to provide for public safety and for the health and safety of the athletes” competing in the State.

Oklahoma currently taxes PPV buys made by residents 4%, no matter where the events are held. UFC says they plan to sue the Commission to stop the tax. The Commission claims that without the tax, they can’t maintain the overhead needed as an authority. The tax accounts for 2/3rds of their budget.

Until the threat of the lawsuit is resolved, all licenses have been revoked, including for events already scheduled. WWE has a live RAW broadcast set for October 1 in Oklahoma City. Tickets are scheduled to go on sale this summer.

There’s a lot about this news item that doesn’t make sense to me. The Oklahoma State Athletic Commission is going to be sued by UFC over the 4% tax on PPVs that Oklahoma residents order, and they say they can’t operate without that tax. So in response, they revoke all licenses that justify their existence in the first place? Isn’t that self-defeating?

Also, since when is Pro Wrestling competition sports? This is where the “Sports Entertainment” moniker comes in handy. I would think that wrestling would be exempt since the talent is less athlete and more performer. I’d argue that the acrobats in the circus have bigger health and safety concerns than pro wrestlers. This is probably just a power play by the Athletic Commission to get UFC to back off. We’ll see how this story develops.

The good news is that JR won’t be embarrassed on national TV on October 1st. #SauceIt

THURSDAY SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT MADE-UP HEADLINE

Last week when I made my Thursday debut, the IWC was rocked with the revelation that a Hulk Hogan sex tape exists. I was hoping for a similar, explosive piece of wrestling news to break this Wednesday that would generate similar attention and intrigue. Sadly, this has not come to pass, so I’ve had to resort to making my own spectacular headlines. So, dear readers, I ask that you vote for which of the following three headlines would be the most buzzworthy, OMG headline:

A) John Cena quits WWE and joins TNA

B) HHH has been cheating on Stephanie McMahon in a Tiger Woods-like manner

C) The Rock gets arrested for savagely beating a helpless stuntman in a drug-fueled rage

Which headline is the biggest and why? WWE’s golden boy jumping ship? The future CEO going out in a tawdry blaze of infamy, or the A-lister doing time for a brutal crime? Opine below!

MOST VALUABLE SUPERSTARS

This week we’ll be taking a look at the top WWE superstars from a business standpoint. We’re not talking who’s the best technical wrestler, who’s the funniest, tallest, etc. – those rankings have been done, and they’ve been done very well by others on this site. These aren’t Power Rankings either. No, this time, I’d like you to indulge me and pretend you’re Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and you’re making a list of which Superstars are most valuable to you from a business standpoint. When making this list, you’d probably take into consideration qualities such as card positioning (main event, midcard, etc.), merchandise sales, crowd reaction, longevity, reliability, public relations value, strategic value and plain old gut feeling.

We’ll also exclude retired wrestlers, like Shawn Michaels. Also, I’ve left off Non-Wrestlers like Johnny Ace and Michael Cole. Additionally, I excluded the Rock because he’s moved on, whether or not he cares to admit it. In fact, on the WWE’s website he’s listed under “alumni,” not current wrestlers. So if the company doesn’t see him as an active roster member, why should I?

Also, let’s make it the top 25. 25 seems to be a good number.

My first step in putting together the list was to take a look at WWEShop.com and see which performers had merchandise available. Because let’s face it, if you ain’t moving product, you ain’t that valuable. Here’s the list of current WWE Superstars that have merchandise available, sorted alphabetically:

1. Alberto Del Rio
2. Big Show
3. Chris Jericho
4. Christian
5. CM Punk
6. Cody Rhodes
7. Daniel Bryan
8. Dolph Ziggler
9. Evan Bourne
10. Ezekiel
11. Goldust
12. Hornswoggle
13. Jack Swagger
14. John Cena
15. Kane
16. Kofi Kingston
17. Mark Henry
18. R-Truth
19. Randy Orton
20. Rey Mysterio
21. Santino
22. Sheamus
23. Sin Cara
24. Ted DiBiase
25. The Miz
26. Triple H
27. Undertaker
28. Wade Barrett
29. Zack Ryder

Not a bad list. Some real talent on there, but let’s eliminate Ezekiel, Goldust, Ted DiBiase, and Hornswoggle right away. Do I really need to explain why? That brings us down to 25.

25) Wade Barrett
This guy wins NXT, leads the Nexus, main events against Randy Orton but has to sit on the sidelines while Bryan defends the World Title and Otunga is the captain of a team of six popular midcarders. Tough to be Barrett these days. Regardless, he’s on the way up and it’s undeniable that Barrett has the look, mic skills and charisma to be a future player in the game.

24) Jack Swagger
The All American American has seen better days. The former World Champion has entered a bit of a slow period lately. After winning the US Championship, doing nothing with it and then losing it to Santino, Swagger has been treading water for over a year now. But still, he’s young, athletic, has excellent wrestling credentials and has tremendous potential. He just needs the right storyline to propel him back up the card.

23) Evan Bourne
He’d be higher on this list if it weren’t for his unreliability. He had a good thing going with Air Boom winning the Tag straps and is amazing to watch live. People go nuts for the Air Bourne at live events, I’ve seen it. Despite his small stature, he’s managed to gather attention despite being saddled with a generic name and not having much of a gimmick other than being a high flyer. Whether or not he climbs the list or is eliminated entirely depends solely on Evan Bourne. Hopefully he can get his act together and not fail another wellness test.

22) Sin Cara
Much like Evan Bourne, Sin Cara would be much higher on this list if it weren’t for his unreliability. Whether it’s wellness suspensions, injuries or botched matches, the heir-apparent to Rey Mysterio has been plagued with misfortune since his much-hyped debut. Still, the Latino market is a big target demo for the WWE, and Mysterio will be around for only so long. Perhaps Sin Cara can step up his game and make it to the upper echelon, then again, perhaps not. It all depends on his performance once he returns from his injury. Whether it’s Sin Cara or some other luchador, the WWE will make a main eventer out of Mexican high flyer – you can count on that.

21) Mark Henry
The World’s Strongest Man has had his share of awful storylines (Sexual Chocolate, dating Mae Young, dating a tranny, etc.), but he’s recently, FINALLY found his niche with the Hall of Pain gimmick. He’s been given a decent title reign but his propensity for injury and his age limit his upside somewhat. Still, he has value and being the World’s Strongest Man is a big feather in his cap. Even with his limitations, Henry has a lot to offer and can be considered a valuable asset to the WWE.

20) R-Truth
I must say, batshit crazy sure works for this man. R-Truth has made a name for himself by popularizing the term “Little Jimmy” and acting like a schizophrenic at every turn. He’s a lot of fun to watch and constantly has a place on TV. Possibly a main eventer if he continues to get over, R-Truth is one to watch.

19) Kofi Kingston
This guy is also a lot of fun to watch. He’s the go-to Superstar for pulling off a crazy stunt in a gimmick match. Kinda like the new Shelton Benjamin. Unlike Benjamin, Kingston gets a great reaction and connects with the fans. He’s a young, athletic, charismatic guy, whom, if given the opportunity, can be a World Champion in the near future. Lots of upside for Kofi Kingston.

18) Cody Rhodes
Wrestling is in his blood. He’s got a great look, unique gimmick and has the pedigree of greatness. He’s young, he’s the IC champion and he puts on good matches. His twisted, dark persona is entertaining to watch. With the legacy of, um, Legacy behind him, the future looks bright for young Mr. Rhodes. Future World Champion, guaranteed.

17) Dolph Ziggler
I used to think that Ziggler was trying to be the next Mr. Perfect with his “I am perfection” routine, but between the bleach blonde hair, pink tights and use of the Fameasser, I’m thinking he’s less Mr. Perfect and more Mr. Ass. Not good. Despite the Billy Gunn similarities, it’s hard to deny that Mr. Ziggles is one of the up-and-coming Superstars in the WWE. He gets a great reaction, puts on great matches and is most definitely one of the WWE’s top prospects for the main event. Another guaranteed future World Champion.

16) Christian
Captain Charisma has managed to successfully shake off the perception of being Edge’s sidekick, and has come into his own these past few years. The heel turn has worked well. Often underestimated, he puts on great matches and is excellent on the mic. He’s an upper-midcard/lower-main event level talent and his experience is a valuable asset. While he has less time ahead of him than behind him, Christian still has what it takes to put on entertaining matches in the upper mid-card, sometimes with a detour into the main event.

15) Alberto Del Rio
The Mexican Aristocrat is a multiple-time WWE Champion, the 2011 Royal Rumble Winner, and he’s been in the WWE less than 3 years! People love his cars, his personal ring announcer, and he appeals to that important Latino demographic that I mentioned earlier. While his championship reigns were somewhat underwhelming, it’s undeniable that Del Rio has “it” and will be in the main event scene for a long time to come. Alberto Del Rio is just getting started.

14) Sheamus
The Great White is a former WWE champion, has a good, unique look, is a favorite of your next CEO HHH and won the 2012 Royal Rumble. He was charming when he appeared on Conan and has brought the company some great PR with the Be A Star campaign. Out of the “young crowd” in WWE, he’s near the top of the list. He’ll be in a World Championship match at WrestleMania, and if that doesn’t convince you that he’s one of the top 15 Superstars, nothing will.

13) Big Show
He’s seven feet tall, so The World’s Largest Athlete is certainly a special attraction, and quite a sight to behold at a live event. He’s had multiple title reigns and can be counted on to get his ass beat by the celebrity du-jour, whether it’s Akebono or Floyd Mayweather Jr. He’s also been around a long time, so his experience is very valuable. Toss in the fact that he still has several years left, and you’ve got an important member of the roster.

12) Daniel Bryan
YES! YES! YES! The man went from midcard to main event overnight. He’s effectively been using his title belt and on-screen girlfriend to further develop his character. This young man could potentially be the next Shawn Michaels, and that is very valuable to the company. Bryan’s not as high because he’s relatively new to the main event scene, but if he keeps making huge strides in his overall development, he’ll be top 10 before you know it.

11) Santino
Improbably, The Milan Miracle is the #11 guy in the whole company. He may be a goofy comedy act, but he’s an OVER goofy comedy act. The man has a big following, and his recent strong performance in the Elimination Chamber and US Title victory are proof that the WWE recognizes this fact. The crowd loves this guy, and rightfully so. Comedy is a difficult thing to master, and Santino makes it look easy. I’m sure he puts a lot of effort into deliberately mispronouncing stuff and perfecting those animated facial expressions. He’s a welcome midcard comedy act, which are hard to find, and if he ever decides to get serious a la Chris Jericho he could vault into the main event.

10) The Miz
The Miz said it himself, whenever the company needs someone to go out doing promotional work, he’s the guy they get to do it. He’s outgoing and despite popular opinion, works very hard to bring the company mainstream. I’ve seen this guy on everything from late night talk shows to Dinner: Impossible. He not only main-evented WrestleMania against John Cena, he beat him, something very few can say. Although he may seem out of favor at the moment, the Miz’s charisma and young age make him a valuable commodity for the WWE.

9) Kane
Big man, long history and people like his masks & pyro. Can become a face or heel as needed. Can be fed to a main eventer to give them a credible win when needed. He’s also a smart and well spoken guy. For someone who was supposed to have a quick Undertaker knock-off gimmick, he’s made it last for nearly 15 years. For his longevity, size, and crowd appeal, Kane ranks #9 on the most valuable WWE superstars.

8) Chris Jericho
Until recent years, I’ve felt that Chris Jericho was a little bit overrated. Sure, he can put on a good match and is good on the mic, but it wasn’t until his program with Shawn Michaels that Chris Jericho won me over. His sense of self-righteousness and arrogance make him someone who can lose but come out looking better than if he won. And he can build the hell out of a match, as evidenced by his promo work with CM Punk for the past few weeks. For his versatility, skill and experience, Jericho gets number 7 on this list.

7) Zack Ryder
A year ago, this guy would be listed in the BOTTOM seven. But what a difference a year makes! Ryder has become the de facto expert in one of the WWE’s next big strategic endeavors: Social Media. He used YouTube and Twitter to get himself over in a big way. He went from being unrecognizable to having his own multiple T-shirts, wigs, sunglasses, pendants, and even bibs! For anyone questioning Ryder’s position on this list, let me tell you a little story. I was at the 2011 Survivor Series – it was the first time that the Rock, one of the most popular WWE Superstars in history, was wrestling after a seven year absence. This was a big deal. When the smoke cleared and the cameras stopped rolling, the Rock started to cut a promo for the MSG crowd. Did the crowd chant “Rocky!” or “Boots to asses?” No, they chanted “We Want Ryder!” That says it all right there.

6) Rey Mysterio
Mr. 619 is massively over with the crowd, especially with young kids. His high flying routine makes him a special attraction that no one else can match (even though they’ve tried). He’s injury prone, but those mask sales more than make up for it. He’s a feel good, underdog character, which audiences instinctively feel obligated to root for. Toss in a rich, Mexican wrestling heritage and you have the #6 most valuable WWE superstar.

5) CM Punk
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A year ago I doubt he’d be in the top 20. But much like Zack Ryder, what a difference a year makes. CM Punk has amassed a following that would be the envy of any wrestler. Not only that, his gimmick lets him say things that other Superstars could only dream of saying. While Punk still hasn’t gotten his ice cream bars, his name is on numerous T-shirts, hats, collector’s cups, alarm clocks, and more. His young age and ability to generate buzz (Chris Brown, Shawne Merriman) put him squarely in the top 5, with nowhere to go but up.

4) Undertaker

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I bet you’re wondering – wait – this guy has a few years left, at best, and he wrestles only one match a year – how can he be in the top 5? I’ll tell you why. Because the streak alone is enough to sell WrestleMania. Because he’s been around over 20 years, and 20 years from now they’ll still be selling Undertaker merchandise. HHH wasn’t just reciting lines from a script when he said that the Undertaker is a valuable brand that must be preserved. The man is a wrestling leader, a legend who’s been around a long time and you can expect to see, in some capacity, for even longer.

3) Randy Orton

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The Viper is deservedly the #3 man in the company. It’s hard to argue that he gets a tremendous crowd reaction whenever he’s in the ring. Randy’s done it all at such a young age (he’ll be 32 the day of WrestleMania XVIII) and he’s got a lot of gas left in the tank. Randy Orton has been at the top of the card for quite some time, and will remain there for the foreseeable future. His explosive personality and ability to hit an RKO out of nowhere gets the audience on their feet every time.

2) Triple H
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For better or worse, Triple H is the #2 Superstar in the entire company. Forget about his growing backstage influence for a minute. Between his single runs as The Game and his DX days with Shawn Michaels, HHH is practically WWE royalty. Also, Hunter honestly believes that he and the Undertaker are the last of a dying breed. And in a sense he’s right. He’s one of the last big name Attitude era guys on the roster. People go nuts for The Game, and given his vast experience, leadership, popularity, loyalty and workrate, he’s the #2 guy in the WWE.

1) John Cena

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Was there ever any doubt? WWE has confirmed that John Cena ALONE generated them $106 Million in revenue in one year, roughly 20% of the company’s total cash intake! At age 34, Cena has at least 10 years left in the tank, which means at this rate that he’ll make the company over ONE BILLION DOLLARS in additional revenue before he hangs up his boots. Not only that, he’s an inspiration for kids, and is one of the top celebrity Make-A-Wish granters of all time. This man is the face of WWE, one of the only real, true, mainstream successes the WWE has left. John Cena is the #1 most valuable Superstar on the roster, and despite all the haters, he’ll be #1 for a long, long time.

What do you say, readers? Are my rankings spot-on, or do they miss the mark? Let me know by commenting below!

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@FGOODISH SAYS

My Twitter chum @FGoodish was kind enough to let me re-post some of his tweets in this column. I always find him entertaining, even though I don’t always agree with him. Something about this guy cracks me up. Maybe it’s because in my head I’m picturing Bruiser Brody posting all these wrestling-related tweets. Anyway, here’s some of what @FGoodish had to say this week!


Why does Tna do segments in the bathroom all the time?

Maybe Bully Ray can cut an awesome heel promo, on the shitter.

I should go to the “Impact Zone” bathroom, and give the toilet an upper decker.

For those who don’t know what an upper decker is, its when you take a shit in the top tank of the toilet. So every time you flush, shit goes into the main bowl.

Ofungi (Otunga) has to swallow, for Vince, to keep his job. No doubt Vince sees spitting as a weakness. #raw

Woah, Shawn has no hat covering his balding, and his crazy eye. #raw

It must be said, I love me some HBK. #raw

Orton and Ziggler should of had a program for Mania. It could of been about who is more orange. #raw
Cena/Rock feud is doing its job. People are legit choosing sides. Thats a good thing. I thought this part of wrestling fandom was dead.

I wanna spludge on Deena’s horse face. #JerseyShore

@FGoodish! Living the life of a G.

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YOUR SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TWITTER #FOLLOWTHURSDAY OF THE WEEK!
This week’s Sports Entertainment Twitter #FollowThursday of the week is the one and only Iron Sheik! The Iron Sheik is awesome, and that’s all there is to it. He’ll often tweet about people he hates, everyone from Hulk Hogan (of course), to Virgil, to Chris Brown, to the fat chick who played Precious. He’s a bit repetitive, but his act never gets old. Here’s his Twitter bio:

Greatest Iranian Entertainer of all time. I fuck your ass and make you humble. www.sheikshow.com Book me for TV, movie, comedian, convention, stag and more.

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How cool is that? Here’s some recent tweets from the Greatest WWE Champion of all time!
I love the america and I love the canada. I hate the fucking ultimate warrior he have smallest dick in world

brodus clay gimmick over with me. i like the girls they deserve brodus clay to give them the old country way fuck the virgil

dont fuck with undertaker he real motherfucker he make it and pay for his due. he not the tito Santana

Hulk hogan sex tape is worse than watching tv show the smurf

I make the people day when they see me. The @JoseCanseco ruin people day when he talk. The dead goat shit come out of his mouth

david otunga look like the lionel Richie

Hmmm, what do you think? Does David Otunga look like the Lionel Richie?

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The Iron Sheik, everybody! Give him a follow today, will ya?

And of course, follow all the 411 stuff on Twitter! #spon

http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

NON-SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT THING OF THE WEEK

This week’s Non-Sports Entertainment Thing of the Week is the Blind Items section over at Crazy Days and Nights.

Crazy Days and Nights, also known as CDaN, is a Hollywood gossip blog. They post all sorts of news, opinions, pictures, etc., but they are best known for their blind items. What is a blind item, you ask? It’s a story or rumor that is reported without the details of the subject being revealed. There’s usually clues in there that help the reader guess whom the blind item is about. The best part is that every July 4th and New Year’s, CDaN will reveal a number of blind items. Here’s an example of a blind item, with the reveal underneath:

This foreign born A list movie actor who has not done much with his A list status so is probably slipping to B has run through many women during his time in Hollywood. The problem is they all know of his umm shortcomings in the bedroom. Not only his tiny endowment, but also the fact that he has some premature problems if you know what I mean. He tried dating women from other countries, but they also caught on so now our actor has dated two people in the past two months. Both of them are high school seniors. Legal, but are so excited about dating him they don’t care that he is awful in bed and his ego has never been bigger.

CDaN went on to reveal the subject of this blind item, and it was none other than:

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Gerard Butler

You know what the smallest organ in a sheep is? Gerard Butler’s penis! (Thank you, thank you.) He is Scottish, after all.

Anywho, the folks on the board are usually accurate in their guesses. Half the fun is in the guessing, so head on over to Crazy Days and Nights and see if you have what it takes!

PLUGGING ALONG

Cook!

Going Broadway!

Wrestling Top 5!

Ask 411 Wrestling!

The Heel Report!

SIGNING OFF

That does it for another Thursday Sports Entertainment. Thanks for stopping by, and make sure you leave your thoughts below, follow The Iron Sheik on Twitter (as well as 411!) and check out the blind items over at Crazy Days and Nights.

Hasta Jueves,

This is Sean

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Sean Kelly

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