wrestling / Columns
The Wednesday Wire: 4.25.12: Extremely Drunk and Incredibly YES!
It’s Wednesday again therefore it’s time for the #WedWi! I’ve completely run out of things to say at the top of the column here, but that’s for the best, I guess, since I’m so freakin’ long-winded for the rest of the column. I’m working on that. I promise.
– News From Cook’s Corner by Steve Cook
– The Wrestling News Experience by Stephen Randle
– The Contentious Ten Breaking/Dislocating Submissions by Michael Ornelas
– The Wrestling Sandwich by Aaron Frame
– The Wrestling 5&1 by Greg DeMarco
– The Wrestling Framework by Aaron Frame
– Hidden Highlights by Dimitri Dorlis
Cena versus Brock
Bryan-Sheamus Best of Three
Chi-Town Street Fight too
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Professional Wrestling News: Edge; Hogan; Leavine Not Tough Enough
Edge in Detroit: Lowballed?
According to the grain of salt sheets, WWE was not happy that word got out (before RAW) that Edge’s contract is soon to expire. It’s being reported that HBK makes $300,000 a year (I call bullshit), Mick Foley makes “a little less” than that and WWE offered Edge a deal that was nowhere close to Foley’s. None of that makes any sense at all.
Andy Leavine: Not Actually Tough Enough
It seems that the winner of last year’s Tough Enough show was released from WWE recently because he wasn’t improving. Well that’s a shame. Too bad there wasn’t anybody on the show who could have wowed the audience with his high-flying acrobatics and sold a decent amount of merch for the company. The big dumb-looking clunky guy was CLEARLY more talented.
Hogan’s Solution to TNA’s Problems
Hulk Hogan said the other day that 75% of TNA’s problems would be resolved by going live. I think that just traveling around the country for TV instead of doing it in Orlando constantly would be infinitely better and more cost efficient. Maybe they should just change the IMPACT opening video to him fucking shithead Bubba’s ex-wife. That’ll put butts in seats.
Nothing Else Interesting Happened
Burglers busted into Christy Hemme’s house and hopefully saw her naked || Beth Phoenix hurt her ankle, didn’t hurt her ankle, did hurt her ankle || Christian should be back in a couple weeks even though he should have been around just to cut promos || Wade Barrett’s Twitter was taken over by his attorney || Scott Steiner hates Open Fight Night even though he misunderstood the premise || More next week…
Commentary Discussion: Bully Ray, Rey Mysterio, The Miz
From Hulkster: “Bully Ray is not “the guy”, brother!!”
So is the general concensus on this one that Hogan was just trolling everybody because he didn’t want people to see the heel turn and title win on TV coming? What a bunch of assholes we are.
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From APrince66: “I for one have no problem with Bully Ray as a champ. The man is in the best shape of his career, rarely if ever has missed time due to injury, has the whole 20+ time tag champ thing going for him, and is one of the better heel promo guys around.”
Darn right. Who knows how long he has left in his career, but it would be nice for him to get a run for at least a few months before he hangs it up.
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From The Great Capt. Smooth: “In a way, I think Kofi can take over for Rey in that plucky babyface role.”
I say put them together as a team and then have Rey retire in a while and give Kofi a push with Rey’s blessing. That would work well even with a shitty tag division.
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From The Big Fat F: “Bully Ray should maybe get a run with the TV Title but I don’t think he’s “World” Champ material. He’s a good upper-mid-card heel but he’s not “The Man.”
Matt Morgan is another guy that could use some direction. If not Bully Ray, give Matt Morgan the TV Title and let him have a best of 7 with Crimson or something. Those two have to have something to do. They both could be somewhat interesting but neither click with the fans, in my opinion.”
I said above that I’d like to see Bully get a short World Title run, but I do think he would be a great asset for the TV Title. I’d like to see him take the title from Devon at Slammiversary and give him a good asskicking. Maybe give Devon a rematch in a no-rules environment the following month and then let Bully run with the belt and face young guys. That would give the belt some meaning and legitimacy instead of being the joke it has been since the beginning. Problem is… TNA doesn’t really have a lot of young, new guys on the roster. How the heck did I not know that?
Morgan v. Crimson in a Best of Seven? Kill me immediately. That feud was shitty from the very start. They should have kept them together as a team. I liked them as faces, actually.
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From Guest#0146: “I’ll have to admit I have never noticed the Daniel Bryan Yes chants before WrestleMania but that is probably because I usually don’t pay attention to most of what he does because I find Bryan to be one of the most boring guys in the WWE. Also I wouldn’t really call the Miz depushed. Since Survivor Series he was in the main event of TLC, lasted longer than anyone in the Royal Rumble match, was involved in the WWE title match at the Elimination Chamber and also got the winning pinfall in the Johnny versus Teddy match at WrestleMania. I guess he had a losing streak but he’s a heel and heels lose all the time and it usually doesn’t hurt them.”
That’s not a bad point about Miz, actually. As far as Bryan is concerned, if you think he’s boring you might want to pay attention so you can prove yourself wrong.
Independent Roundup: ROH/CHIKARA Synergy, DGUSA, More
CHIKARA in Chicago, IL & Lafayette, IN
This weekend CHIKARA will be joining Ring of Honor out in the midwest to put on a weekend of Shows. Saturday’s CHIKARA event in Chicago will feature Eddie Kingston v. Kevin Steen for Kingston’s Grand Championship, Sara Del Rey v. El Generico in a match that is sure to be a must see and an 8-man/ant contest as we will see The Colony & Jigsaw v. The Swarm & The Shard. On Sunday in Lafayette there will be, among other matches, Jigsaw v. Icarus, another mixed contest with Sara Del Rey v. Obariyon and an all-ant trios match when the tecnicos take on the rudos with The Colony v. The Swarm. Visit CHIKARAPro.com for everything CHIKARA related.
ROH in Chicago, IL & Dayton, OH
The night show at the Frontier Fieldhouse features an ROH card with Jay & Mark Briscoe v. Jigsaw & Hallowicked for the ROH Tag Titles, The Young Bucks v. The Bravado Brothers and Haas & Benjamin v. Kyle O’Reilly & Davey Richards in an event aptly called “Unity” as it features 5 tag matches and a trios contest. The next day ROH will run The Hara Arena in Dayton, famous for hosting many ECW shows. The ROH World Title will be on the line with Davey Richards v. Adam Cole, a rematch from Showdown in the Sun will be contested as a 2/3 Falls match in Roderick Strong v. Jay Lethal. Another match will see an Ohio native son in action with BJ Whitmer v. Kevin Steen in what is sure to be brutal.
Dragon Gate USA, EVOLVE and Free Pro Wrestling!
EVOLVE 12 on 5/11 will feature Jon Davis v. Fit Finlay in a challenge match as well as Johnny Gargano & Samuray Del Sol v. Chuck Taylor & Silas Young. Samuray Del Sol is an up-and-coming high-flying masked man that you should definitely check out. In fact, he’s in this match:
A big match signed for EVOLVE 13 on 5/12 will feature the EVOLVE wins leader when we see Chuck Taylor v. Sami Callihan. The Open the Freedom Gate Title will be on the line that night as well. Johnny Gargano will be challenged by the winner of Jigsaw v. Samuray Del Sol v. AR Fox.
Here’s a match featuring WWE’s newest developmental talent Brodie Lee. Enjoy!
Fore more, please go to FreeProWrestling.com.
Monday Night RAW Supershow 4.23.2012
Edge Channels Randy Savage: Tells Cena to Be A Man
RAW started off like a motherfucker! Cena’s out and ready to sign the contract for Sunday. Laurinitis says Lesnar ain’t here yet. Edge’s music hits and the fans in Detroit go batshit crazygonuts. Edge cut a damned intense promo and ordered Cena to beat Brock at Extreme Rules. Cena stood there like a child. More than 2 hours later, Cena makes Brock wait and when he finally comes out he’s got his chain wrapped around his hand but does nothing. I would have liked to see Cena just beat the everloving out of Brock. That would have been a great way to close the show. Underwhelming end but it adds some intrigue to Sunday. I think the best part is that Brock’s complete douchebaggery, even though it was directed at Laurinitis, actually got the crowd to boo him and get behind Cena. Who saw that coming?
Wrestling! Or, One Match to Tease Us
After the fantastic opening segment we got our first match of the evening and it delivered big time. Kofi looked amazing here and Jericho did what he does best and made Kofi look even better. There were a bunch of finishes that I bought being the end (even a couple for Kofi — that’s how good this was) and it was refreshing to see such a high quality match on TV. I hope Kofi gets a chance to do something soon. Why isn’t he feuding with Cody Rhodes?
Field Sobriety Test: At Least It Wasn’t An “On a Pole” Match
I actually did enjoy this segment. They dragged it out slightly too long, but Punk was absolutely beyond amazing playing drunk and hilarious at the same time. Loved the “WWF Universe” slip. This was a good way to play on how Jericho thinks he’s in Punk’s head, but Punk is a step ahead of him. It seems like the WWE Champ is pulling himself away from the raw emotions that Jericho’s promos are bringing out so he can think clearly. When Punk finally did pass the test (S & T placement be damned) and jumped Jericho the place went beyond insane for it. Detroit was fantastic this Monday.
Team Cobro, ZigSwag, Daniel Bryan the Ref and More
Ryder & Santino would make a pretty good team if they’re going to go forward with it || Why are they doing this to Ziggler and Swagger? Brodus is a lot of fun, but what the fuck? Did TZZM hit on Stephanie? || Quick counts for the win! YES! The crowd, which was electric all night, gave Bryan some major love and some good heat too. || Give Cody the IC Title back and let him feud with Kofi. Let Show and Khali be a freak tag team in a revitalized division. Go! || Overall: Very strong go-home show for the PPV. The crowd was fantastic for the entire 3+ hours, which really helped sell some of the angles. I was disappointed with the lack of wrestling after they gave us the Kofi/Jericho opening match, but that wasn’t too detrimental.
Discussion Point Discussion
SuperCorky: “Agree 100% on the brand split. Unify the titles, I would prefer at a wrestlemania or since they’re trying to make summerslam more important there, keep the brand split as is hopefully making the I.C and U.S titles more important, and a renewed focus on the tag team division…BUT!… That makes too much sense and would give the people something they would want so I just don’t see that happening. I hear too many comments about the IC and US titles being “midcard” belts but is anyone old enough to remember when Ric Flair wrestled U.S champ Lex Luger all over the country for the world title and it was actually thought that he would actually beat him eventually? Yes a long time ago but that’s how you make a secondary belt seem important, have it on someone that’s believable as a future world champion. Santino? Not so much.”
Marsico: Cody Rhodes, back when he was the rightful champion, continually talked about how he was going to bring legitimacy back to the IC Title and how it was going to once again be seen as the last step toward being the World Champion. Of course it was all talk and they did nothing with it. And then Big Show won the title. Oy.
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the mecca: “I would have to say that is the most likely direction they would take, merging the two titles. I am hesitant to say do it since i like the world title belt better than the WWE championship currently going around. but if they actually made the IC title important and the US title mean a little something too, might as well. that could be a big time mania match to unite the 2 belts.”
Marsico: I would actually prefer to see them do it at SummerSlam as SuperCorky mentioned above. That way it makes the Royal Rumble winner far more important come January. The Rumble would be worthless if they did Title v. Title at ‘Mania unless one of the belts was on the line in the Rumble match.
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Brandy Orton: “WWE is not going to reunify the Brands! The Brand split is permanent! Just think about it. Vince has committed to the brand split for ten years now! He has churned out subpar show after subpar show for years now, all in the name of the Brand split. If the WWE reunifies Raw and Smackdown, then the main event becomes even more exclusive than it already is!
That means that guys like Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Mark Henry, Kane, Miz, Christian, and god knows who else will never be a world champion again! CM Punk would most likely get a demotion back to the mid card if there is only one title for each division. Guys like dolph ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Drew McINtyre, david otunga, and Jack Swagger would never break through the glass ceiling! It will be the John Cena/Randy orton/triple H/Undertaker/rock/brock show forever when the brand split is abandoned! Now can you smarks deal with that?”
Marsico: Mark Henry, Kane and Christian (and possibly Miz) will never be World Champs again in any situation. McIntyre (and possibly Swagger) will never break through the glass ceiling anyway. Otunga is going to stay where he is. Everything else is far too trollish to respond to.
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Golf Wang: “Yeah, because that’s living in reality. The company did just fine before the brand split, they can survive without it. If those guys really have the drive and determination, they’ll break through. You forget for years RAW was already the HHH/Cena/Orton show while the brand split was in place, same for SD being Taker/Batista/Edge. Punk isn’t getting demoted either since he’s one of the top faces in the whole company.
The brand split makes no sense anymore because there isn’t enough star power anymore to spread across both brands, and because SD guys appear regularly on RAW anyway so the split is basically gone as it is. They’re better off formally ending it soon.”
Marsico: Golf Wang (which I laughed about all week, by the way) did feel like responding, though. The sentiment is pretty spot on, but everything seems to be cut and dry with the company, so they don’t get the idea that they can still run just as many house shows as they currently do, they just have to split the talent in a different manner and rotate some guys doing two sets of shows.
PPV Preview: WWE Extreme Rules
Santino Marella v. The Miz, US Title Match
This is set for the pre-show, but as of this writing on Tuesday afternoon there are only 5 matches listed for the main card. I’m guessing that Santino is going to end up in a tag match on the PPV, but unless he’s going to win the Tag Titles (which wouldn’t surprise me) he won’t lose the belt here. This is an exhibition match. Winner: Still US Champ, Santino Marella
Big Show v. Cody Rhodes, Intercontinental Title Match
A stipulation is going to be added on Sunday before the match. I don’t see why, but there’s no point in complaining. I hope they get a little more time than they did at ‘Mania — Big Show is arguably better as a wrestler now than at any other time in his career and Cody is fantastic and continually improving. Give them 10 minutes and they could put together a strong contest. I would not be shocked to see Alberto Del Rio interfere and cost Big Show the match since they have a budding rivalry of sorts. I also believe that Show’s title win was set to be a feel-good WrestleMania moment and that they (the powers that be) understand that the belt does a whole lot more for Cody than it does Show. Winner: New IC Champ, Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton v. Kane, Falls Count Anywhere Match
Their match at WrestleMania was surprisingly better than I expected. I haven’t seen their rematch from SmackDown but I read that it was good, and I think that this one can be very good if they get creative without being silly. Please don’t involve Cowboy Bob. That’s all I ask. The last time they did that it led to some of the worst months of Orton’s career. Winner: Randy Orton
Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan, World Heavyweight Title 2/3 Falls Match
Just give it time. PLEASE. I’m begging you. Give them 30 minutes and we can have a classic on our hands. I don’t care who wins as long as we get a real match. I don’t have much else to say. The feud has been insanely underwhelming even though Bryan has been great. Sheamus needs to get away from D-Bryan immediately after Sunday, though, because being in a program with him is ruining what was supposed to be a big push. Sheamus was getting way over as a face, but he’s drowning right now. At no fault of his own, mind you. Not only that, but you know the Chicago crowd is going to be 90% (or more) pro-Bryan.
Winner: Still World Heavyweight Champ, Sheamus
CM Punk v. Chris Jericho, WWE Title Chicago Street Fight
They had a great match at WrestleMania in front of a crowd that seemed to be doing everything they could to not react to it. The crowd will be insane for this one and I expect more brawling than wrestling, but it will be a smartly wrestled brawl. Something like that. I honestly would not be shocked to see blood in this one. Not a ton, but it could happen after somebody gets whacked over the head with a bottle of Jack. This match obviously isn’t going on last, so I think we’re going to see a title change.
Winner: New WWE Champ, Chris Jericho
John Cena v. Brock Lesnar, Extreme Rules Match
For a very short feud, they have been able to build a lot of anticipation. After RAW this week I really want to see what happens in this match. I’m not so much invested in the winner as much as I an interested in finding out what attitude Cena is going to bring to the show. A loss right off the bat would not be smart for Brock (and he definitely would not have agreed to it), and while a loss wouldn’t hurt Cena I don’t expect a finish here. I’m hoping to see this one get way, way out of control to the point where not having a winner doesn’t piss people off, but I’m thinking there’s going to be a lame non-finish that makes no sense or Brock will will after a bunch of people cheat against Cena. Wouldn’t it be great for the show to end with a pull-apart brawl like they had on RAW a few weeks ago and just utter chaos as the show goes off the air? It would be beter with JR screaming bloody murder, but it would still be cool.
Winner: Brock Lesnar via shennanigans
I’m still on Twitter! Follow me @nickmarsico, tweet to me, tweet with me and tweet… tweet. I don’t know. I kinda like this Twitter thing.
Next week: Pro wrestling? Yeah, I guess.
– Nicholas A. Marsico
