Handicapping the News 08.24.12

One thing remains true about writing for 411, nearly a decade after I first attempted it: it’s always a work in progress. The form of my columns tends to evolve from week to week, month to month, and the things that do and don’t work eventually come together to resemble a finished product or format. I’ll be revisiting an old idea for this column in a new way this week, and I’ll hope against hope that some constructive feedback finds its way into the comment section below. Once upon a time, there was a ticker in the column that provided quick mentions of headlines that I either didn’t feel warranted a complete write up, or that I couldn’t come up with quite enough material for. The ticker got the thumbs down from some people whose critiques I respect, and so it disappeared. This week, a different version of that will appear just before the Curtain Jerkers. Not a major thing, but something that I think could be fun.

Before headlines, though, some fun with the readers.

Sabotage says:

“…I think the entirety of Straight Edge and their selective morals and judgmental attitude is stupid…”

Wow, how is that any less judgmental? You just called every straight edge person stupid. There’s no sidestepping that either, you actually said “the entirety.” I’m not straight edge, and I’m sorry that you’ve apparently never met a SE person who wasn’t a dick, but I have met plenty of SE people who don’t rub it in people’s faces. In fact, some of them only even bring it up when someone offers them a drink or something like that and then asks why they don’t want it. I’ve seen a lot of non-SE people get more upset with someone for being SE than the other way around. Every belief system/life style/whatever has its assholes and extremists, but any time you lump them all together like you did, it just makes YOU look like the asshole. Good job.

I’ll go ahead and fess up to what you said. I did say that the entirety of the Straight Edge movement was stupid. There is no sidestepping it, and that’s fine because I had no intention of doing so. As I’ve said multiple times in this column, my opinions are my opinions and I’ll stand by them. When people voice their opinion, dissenting or otherwise, I’ll respect their opinion as theirs. It’s not a big deal to me if someone disagrees with me. I think lots of things are stupid, and I don’ t mind saying so. Among these things are the Straight Edge movement, veganism when it isn’t absolutely medically necessary, and soccer. Does that make me an asshole? To some people, probably. Do I have reasons for thinking all of those things and others that I didn’t mention are stupid? Sure I do. Am I going to get into them? Nope. At least not today. It’s time for that new feature I mentioned.

Now, headlines.

Dark Matches

8.23.12 Hulk Hogan meets a fan as a bucket list request. What are the odds…

The respiratory therapist that funded the meeting gets credit? 20 to 1
TNA shamelessly exploits this? 3 to 1
Hogan interviews in 20 years recall how he raised the boy from the dead? 8 to 1

8.22.12 Ring of Honor looking for non profit partners in New Jersey. What are the odds…

Ring of Honor rides a wave of charity work to national prominence? 100 to 1
It’s a ploy to save money by getting buildings rent free? 3 to 1
Some smartass sends them a mirror? 40 to 1

8.22.12 Dolph Ziggler’s ex says they broke up because the sex was too athletic. What are the odds…

She’s trying to cash in on Ziggler’s growing fame? 10 to 1
She really got sick of listening to “I am perfection” every time Dolph entered the room? 15 to 1
Dolph sold her “o face” by backflipping off the bed, popping up, staggering into a door, blading, faking a seizure, then crawling back on top of her slowly and expressing frustration when her shoulders left the mattress? EVEN

8.19.12 A sign calling out Vince McMahon for mocking JR’s Bell’s Palsy was confiscated. What are the odds…

It’s a PR move for Linda’s campaign? 5 to 3
More of the signs will pop up? 7 to 1
It was confiscated so Vince could frame it in his office as a reminder of what great television truly is? 3 to 2

8.22.12 Douglas Williams OVW’s newest trainer; Rob Terry still awaiting his invitation for the same position

Okay, so that one wasn’t one of my stronger efforts at being snarky on a headline. There’s not a lot to say about this situation that’s funny to me. As the years have gone by, I’ve found myself enjoying the European style of wrestling more and more, which probably has a lot to do with William Regal’s emergence as a star in WCW and WWE. From there, guys like Fit Finlay, Dave Taylor, and Doug Williams have made appearances on television through the years, and I’ve been made more aware of how to dig up footage of promotions in Europe to see more of that style.

My personal tastes aside, this is probably a win for Doug Williams. Regardless of his level of talent, Doug Williams hasn’t been used regularly on TNA television in a long time. I think he still has plenty to offer the X Division and the tag team division, but for whatever reason, they’ve not found anything for him to do that warrants being on television regularly. A move to OVW will allow Williams to not only to draw a regular paycheck because he’ll be working every single week with the talent that’s there, but it allows him to locate to one spot that’s relatively central to the eastern United States, meaning that taking indy bookings will be much easier and efficient for him.

Al Snow has proven that it’s possible to be a part time guy on television as well as a trainer in OVW, so there’s no reason to think that Williams can’t do the same. If this leads to a situation that’s even remotely similar to what we’ve gotten with Al Snow and Joey Ryan’s slow burning angle with another European talent, then I’m all for it.

What are the potential ramifications of this for Doug, TNA, and the fans?

The X Division suffers a dip in talent immediately: 20 to 1
As much as I hate to admit it, it’s been so long since Doug Williams has been used in a regular role in the X Division that his departure won’t have much of a negative effect on the division. This isn’t a situation where Williams recently lost a match that sees him written off of television like Chris Jericho experienced. This is a talent that hasn’t been used in a long time officially not being used any more. Kind of like Tyler Reks.

The quality of workers coming from OVW will improve:3 to 1
Doug Williams has a wealth of knowledge that isn’t available to a lot of the “name” trainers at TNA’s disposal, just by virtue of the style that he wrestles and having a totally different style. He’s also very well respected among his peers, so it’s going to be a situation where the trainees actually listen to him and his knowledge sinks in. There’s absolutely no way that having a guy with Williams’ level of experience can hurt what’s going on in OVW.

We can expect more incoming talent for TNA: 4 to 1
This isn’t necessarily a reflection of Doug Williams leaving as much as it is an observation on what TNA is doing. The Aces and Eights will eventually be revealed, and they’re going to need roster spots for those guys. They’re also continuing the Gut Check series, which will also require roster spots. There’s always going to be free agents out there that are worth pursuing. And there will be graduates from OVW they’ll be making room for.

8.19.12 Alex Shelley signs with WWE; Alex Shelley doesn’t sign with WWE

Former X Division star Alex Shelley made the headlines this week when it was reported that he had signed with WWE. From there, the rumor mill snowballed, saying that Alex Shelley would be afforded the luxury of not spending time in FCW after negotiating that clause into his contract. There was no word on whether or he was going to be renamed and repackaged as Gunther Alexson, a neo-punk lumberjack from the Michigan/Canadian border region near Sault Ste Marie, Michigan.

As the week went on, it became apparent that Shelley in fact had not signed with WWE, and was still looking forward to working a date for New Japan in September. As one would imagine, the news of Shelley’s rumored signing caused a bit more of a stir than did the news that he actually probably wasn’t signed yet. I’m going to go ahead and say that has something to do with the fact that the IWC isn’t thrilled about being wrong.

The process of “reporting” things in the wrestling industry is basically to hear a rumor and run with it, then bury a correction with other minor news items when it doesn’t work out. It’s a flawed system, but it’s what we have.

What other news items can we expect to follow this minor snafu?

Wrestling news sites admit a flaw in their style of reporting: 100 to 1
“Dirt sheets” know that fans salivate at the chance to get a scoop on something that hasn’t broken yet. That’s why the system works the way it does. The problem is, it’s not just with wrestling sites. “Real” news works this way, too. If you don’t believe me, look back at the 2000 presidential election when networks called Florida for Gore, then had to reverse course and take it off the board, then eventually award it to Bush. It’s more important to be first than to be right, which seems like the incorrect way to operate a news site of any kind.

Shelley roams the indy circuit and eventually returns to TNA: 20 to 1
For whatever reason, it just feels like Alex Shelley’s time in TNA is done for a while. He may eventually find his way back there, but I don’t anticipate it in the near future. It’s more likely to me that he makes an appearance in a special event similar to Sonjay Dutt’s participation at Destination X. As valuable as Shelley could potentially be to TNA, both sides seemed content to go separate ways.

Shelley eventually ends up in WWE: 5 to 1
Shelley is a talented guy, and WWE hasn’t given up hope on the whole idea of having a network devoted entirely to wrestling. With that ultimate goal in mind, the WWE continues to collect talent of varying shapes and sizes. One of the rumored projects for the WWE Network is an all cruiserweight show. If that happens, guys like Shelley are going to be incredibly useful. My gut tells me that Shelley will get a chance to meet all commitments that he’s made so far, then he’ll be in WWE’s system somewhere.

8.20.12 RAW GM AJ Lee quit college to be a wrestler; Smackdown GM Booker T left prison to be a wrestler

It was revealed in an interview this week that AJ Lee made the conscious decision not to go back to college at NYU in order to pursue her dream of becoming a professional wrestler. This is the part where I’m supposed to have something to say about the news article, but it’s pretty self explanatory and I’m not that big of a fan of AJ Lee, so I don’t have a whole lot to say here. But I did put a picture of AJ up for you to look at, because a lot of people seem to enjoy doing that. So…there you go. Um…odds on stuff?

AJ would make the same decision if she had it to do over: EVEN
Why not? She’s successful, she’s on the flagship show for the wrestling industry as a whole, she’s a featured performer, and she’s probably getting paid really well. There are some college dropouts that do well for themselves. AJ Lee’s one of those.

AJ should have stuck around long enough to at least take some acting classes: 5 to 1
Repetitive awkward pauses and uncomfortable facial expressions are apparently the best way to show insanity now. I’m of the opinion that other people have done insanity better and more convincingly, whereas AJ tends to just kind of get on my nerves. A few basic drama classes wouldn’t have hurt in her current role.

You’re even reading this since there’s not going to be any more pictures of AJ in this section: 50 to 1
I know how this goes. It’s okay.

8.21.12 Chris Jericho comments on departure; no spoilers given for future teaser videos

Chris Jericho was written off of WWE television this week after a loss to Dolph Ziggler. Ironically, the loss came after Jericho scored a rare win on this comeback tour against Ziggler at Summerslam. Now, as most people are already acutely aware, Jericho is leaving to go back on tour with Fozzy, because Jericho has options.

Opinions have been split on whether not this comeback was worth it for Jericho, as over the last nine months all Jericho managed to do was job in a lot of high profile matches to younger talent. People like me, who are fans of Jericho, found this to be an incredibly frustrating way to spend a long awaited comeback when even a brief WWE or World Heavyweight Championship run for Jericho would have been a lot of fun.

The thing is, even at age 42 Jericho has maintained an ability to have phenomenal matches up and down the card with just about anyone. Part of that is because of his long layoffs that have kept his body from breaking down. Another part of that is just the fact that Jericho is really, really good. He’s also pretty smart.

Guys like Kevin Nash and Triple H get credit for being smart because of their ability to play politics and keep themselves relevant long after their usefulness should have worn off entirely. Jericho is a different kind of smart, though. Jericho is the kind of smart that’s actually good for the business. He understands that at age 42 and as what amounts to a part time wrestler these days, that he’s best served establishing younger talent for the future. So what did Jericho do with his comeback? He put over Sheamus and CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler and made them look like a million bucks.

Chris Jericho is always going to be over. He’s always going to get a reaction. He’s always going to have a fan base and he’s always going to get attention near the top of the card when he’s around. The fact that Jericho knows he’s bulletproof allows him to drop the ego and do what’s right for the business. Wrestling could use more guys like him.

What will the future bring for the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah?

A stop in TNA after Spike TV and Dixie Carter throw buckets of money at him: 75 to 1
Never say never, as matches with Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Sting, Austin Aries, Robert Roode, James Storm, and Samoa Joe all hold their own appeal. We’ve also seen big name talent make the jump before. However, Chris Jericho has repeatedly stated that he’s going to finish his career in a WWE ring, and I don’t think he’s going to do anything to jeopardize his good standing with WWE at this late stage of his career. As nice as it would be to see some of those matches, it’s unrealistic to think they’ll happen in TNA.

Jericho is done for good:150 to 1
Chris Jericho will be back. It’s only a matter of when, not if. He still enjoys wrestling, he’s still a great wrestler, and he can still serve a very unique purpose for WWE. He’s a bridge to days gone by, which they love; that much is evident from their use of The Rock, Triple H, Brock Lesnar, and The Undertaker on a rotating semi-regular basis. However, he’s more capable than any of those men of coming back and jumping right into a full time schedule for WWE. He also has the least amount of ego and baggage to deal with when he’s there. Once Fozzy is done touring and Jericho has recharged his batteries, he’ll be back.

Jericho returns within a year:20 to 1
Being in his early 40’s means the days of taking two or three years off then coming back are gone. Jericho has also always been aware of how to remain relevant. He’s reinvented himself a couple of times through the years. After a certain point, he’ll become a pure nostalgia act instead of a relevant competitor that happens to be a legendary personality as well. That’s not Jericho’s style. For that reason, I can envision Jericho making a return to WWE by or before next year’s Summerslam. Who better for Dolph Ziggler to feud with after he cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase than the man he ran out of WWE?

Tyler Reks made me a fan this week.

Walking away from a dream isn’t easy to do. It’s also difficult to walk away from the wrestling industry in general. Once wrestling is in your system, it never really gets out. You’ll hear that cautionary line repeated time and again by veterans of the sport. There’s a reason for it: it’s true.

There will be a lot of fans and indy workers that thumb their nose at Tyler Reks as a quitter for walking away from WWE after finding himself in a spot that so many people would give literally anything in their life for, but that a tiny fraction of a percentage of them actually attain. He made it. He was in WWE. He even made it to TV once in a while. He had his own action figure. Tyler Reks made it.

It’s easy to dismiss Tyler Reks. The guy had a decent, sort of unique look. He had good size and wasn’t awful in the ring. He never really seemed to find a groove with his character, but he was young enough that as long as he was on the roster he had a chance to find something that would stick. Because he never found success, it’s easy to say that he was a wasted roster spot anyway.

Tyler Reks has his priorities in line, though. Tyler Reks walked away from wrestling and into a family. As a new father, Reks wasn’t willing to sacrifice time with his daughter to be on the road. Good for him. That shouldn’t even be a hard decision to make. Not many make it, though.

Reks had a backup plan. He has an online business. I have no idea how well it’s doing, but he’s offering a service that a lot of people make use of these days. He has an opportunity to provide a living for his family without participating in one of the most self destructive industries in the world.

I have no doubt in my mind that Reks is a happier guy today after walking away than Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan are after devoting their entire lives to this business and finding themselves in a spot where they financially can’t walk away from it.

I never cared much about Tyler Reks as a wrestler. I’m a big fan of Tyler Reks as a person.

That’s it for me. I’ll try to do better next time. You can message me on Twitter @GavinNapier411 if you want to tell me how much you love me or hate me, or just say hi. Odds are I’ll be back next week.