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411’s Instant Analysis 09.03.12: WWE Monday Night Raw

September 4, 2012 | Posted by Sat

Welcome to this week’s Instant Analysis of Monday Night Raw. I’m your humble reviewer, Chad Nevett and it’s the Labor Day edition of Raw where we can all celebrate our day of not going to work by watching some wrestling. That’s pretty nice. I hope everyone had a nice long weekend and that the WWE delivers a great show, so it can end on a high note. Let’s get to it…

SEGMENT ONE: “There’s a pecking order.”

CM Punk continues to tell the truth as he reminds us all that Sheamus, as World Heavyweight Champion, is the second-best in the world after the WWE Champion. We all knew that already, that the WWE Title comes first, but it’s refreshing to hear it explicitly stated like that. Then again, there was a time when the World Heavyweight Championship mattered more because it was the Raw title. So maybe it would have been more accurate for Punk to say that, because he’s the champion on Raw, he’s at the top of the pecking order? This segment was tedious in many ways. Sheamus couldn’t match Punk on the mic and Punk was talking out of his arse, but getting reactions that flew in the face of that. It made for an uneven opening where nothing came across quite as it should have. And the prospect of two matches where every man NEEDS a win doesn’t fill me with hope.

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT TWO: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler
Match Result: Dolph Ziggler pinned Randy Orton
Match Length: A little under 13 minutes

A solid match that was given more time than expected. As with a lot of TV matches, you don’t really see anything until the final few minutes. Everything up until then is, often, the same old, same old, and this wasn’t an exception really. The final few minutes were quite good with variations on routines and a surprising finish. I do wish we would sometimes see a Superplex actually end a match. It used to be a guaranteed ender — one of the biggest moves you can hit — and, now, it’s barely a transition move. Like everything, I don’t mind the kick-outs to it, but, sometimes, can we please have it end the match? Ziggler ‘stealing’ the win was a surprise and a good finish. He ‘got lucky’ and Orton still looked strong, but Ziggler gets an important win. Hopefully, he keeps those up before he cashes in Money in the Bank.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

SEGMENT THREE: Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes & Tensai
Match Result: Sin Cara pinned Cody Rhodes
Match Length: Around eight and a half minutes

Guys like Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara aren’t necessarily suited to the typical WWE face/heel dynamic, particularly in tag matches. Part of the appeal of those two are their speed and high-flying moves and, yet, most of the match involved Sin Cara getting beaten on the ground. Like with my Superplex complaint, I’m not really holding that against this match, because it’s bigger than just this match. Still, it’s not exactly the best use of a guy like Sin Cara. I wouldn’t mind seeing Mysterio and Sin Cara team up more. It’s a natural pairing and giving them a tag title shot against Kofi Kingston and R-Truth could be a really energetic, fun match. If I haven’t talked about this match much specifically, that’s because it was fine. Nothing really stood out, except for Cody Rhodes eating a pin when he didn’t try to take off someone’s mask. The Miz was decent on commentary, too.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: ~~CM Punk vs. Sheamus~~ CM Punk Doesn’t Work on Labor Day

Once again, CM Punk speaks the truth: a WWE Champion/World Heavyweight Champion match should be a WrestleMania main event level of match. And, should the two champions wrestle on TV, they should go on in the actual main event. Punk shows more arrogance and continues to be the heel who tells the truth, while Sheamus is ready to fight no matter what. Good character work and a nice way to sidestep making one of these guys lose to the other.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FIVE: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger
Match Result: Sheamus made Jack Swagger tap out
Match Length: Two minutes, 45 seconds

Michael Cole’s shock at Sheamus using a submission hold is shared by everyone. That’s how little Jack Swagger matters/is seen as a threat: Sheamus uses matches with him as a way to test out new moves that could backfire horribly. I’m not sure it works with Sheamus, but it’s nice to see guys testing out new moves. Sheamus looked dominant in and after the match, and that’s what matters.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT SIX: Kaitlyn vs. Eve
Match Result: Eve pinned Kaitlyn
Match Length: A little over three minutes

The Miz trashing the Divas division was kind of funny. Eve trying to be ‘good’ also added a bit to this match. I was more focused on the interplay of the Miz and Layla than the match, though, because it was more entertaining.

Jack Swagger is right: he is better than this. Also, AJ’s new obsession with men leaving her could have potential, but maybe introduced in a situation where the guy leaving would be out of place. Swagger already wrestled — why is his leaving odd? But, she is a little… off. After all, she thinks that Chris Jericho ‘left’ the show when he was fired after she booked a match where his contract was on the line.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

SEGMENT SEVEN: Anger Management Week Two

The addition of Kane really added something to these segments. That character is comedy gold in this setting and Glen Jacobs has excellent timing. The trashcan fire, the trust exercise… it almost looked like Daniel Bryan and Kane would be a tag team and, instead, they learned nothing! Nothing! But, then, those choices. Since I’m an hour behind, I can’t vote in such things, but I think we all voted for the two to hug it out. Right?

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

SEGMENT EIGHT: Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal
Match Result: Ryback pinned Jinder Mahal
Match Length: A little over two minutes

The match was exactly what you’d expect, but the Miz’s commentary was not. He broke Ryback down and seemingly went ‘off message’ on him. He spoke about raw power not being enough (and used the Big Show as an example) and that in-ring psychology is necessary — that all he’s seen Ryback do is ‘sprint’ in short matches, that he may not fare as well in longer matches. All of which is true and none of which is what the WWE would necessarily want us to know in relation to Ryback. At least not state explicitly. Unless this is step one of using the Miz to elevate Ryback beyond simple squash matches. If so, this is a pretty good way to kick off a feud.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

SEGMENT NINE: A Hug, a Handshake, and a Chairshot to the Head

How did this only get 55% of the vote? There are 45% of people who wanted one of the other two options more than a hug? The build-up to the hug was a little too drawn out, but, otherwise, this played out exactly how you’d want/expect it to. This gave us exactly what we wanted and that’s a good thing. Again, the Miz’s commentary added to this. He’s gotten better over the course of the show.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT TEN: United States Championship Match – Antonio Cesaro (C) vs. Santino Marella
Match Result: Antonio Cesaro pinned Santino Marella
Match Length: Two minutes

The story in this match was simple and effective. A little goofy, sure, but Santino struggling to win without the Cobra and, then, regain it, was a solid story to add to this match. It still allowed Cesaro to dominate and win. Now, all we need is for him to rename the US Title the European Championship…

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT ELEVEN: Heath Slater vs. Zack Ryder
Match Result: Zack Ryder pinned Heath Slater
Match Length: Three minutes

Neither man got an entrance. That’s not a good sign for either. What was a little strange was the Miz acting as Zack Ryder’s advocate on commentary. He has said that Ryder is one of his closest friends backstage and that came through. The best line had to be his comparison of Ryder’s Internet Championship to Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Championship. The match was fine. The only bit that stood out was Ryder’s air guitar smacks to the head. I liked those.

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT TWELVE: AJ Apologizes to Vickie Guerrero

For the record, I’m pretty sure that the Board of Directors wouldn’t be too upset if AJ hit someone who hit her first. I’m also pretty sure that they don’t want her damaging WWE property like chairs and rings either. Or having breakdowns in the middle of the ring after Vickie Guerrero smacks her around and leaves cackling in her most supervillain-esque voice. Still, they managed to build this up throughout the evening somewhat and it worked okay.

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT THIRTEEN: Falls Count Anywhere Match – John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Match Result: Alberto Del Rio pinned John Cena
Match Length: A little over 13 minutes (shown)

At first, I wasn’t expecting much from this match. It seemed like they were content to work a regular match and stick to the ring. But, their excursion from the ring added a lot as they built up to bigger and bigger spots, had a lot of back-and-forth and teased the finish well for the final five or six minutes. Del Rio’s mid-match mic rant was a nice touch and I’d like to see him do that more. It suits his character well. The finish itself was somewhat obvious (that or Sheamus getting involved) and would have worked better in a regular match, not as the finish to a stipulations match like this where it ending cleanly would have been nice. Another time, another place, I guess.

Rating: 8.0 out of 10

FINAL THOUGHTS

Segment of the Night: The Falls Count Anywhere Match

Trash Segment of the Night: Kaitlyn vs. Eve

Final Analysis: A solid show, but without any really strong segment to anchor things like the last few weeks. It was a much more even show without any high highs or low lows. I did like the comedy of Kane and Daniel Bryan, and Punk’s walk out. The Miz taking Jerry Lawler’s place on commentary gave the evening a different flavor — a much-needed change up. Like almost every other three-hour Raw, though, this episode felt too long and, by the end, I was just waiting out the clock to a degree, despite Del Rio and Cena putting on a good match.

Verdict: 6.0

411 RATINGS SCALE:
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9: Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect