The Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was 09.05.12: Issue #1

Hello, and welcome to the Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was! My name is Sam Smith and I’ll be giving you your dose of Wednesday wrestling news for the time being. But before we get down to the sports-entertainment, let’s talk a bit about something more important – me!

I’m 22 years old, and I’ve been a wrestling fan for most of them. My first introduction to this crazy world was receiving a second-hand copy of “WWF Super WrestleMania” for my SNES when I was five or so, and it was all downhill from there. Over the years I’ve done my best to teach myself about everything that came before me, and I like to think I have a pretty good knowledge of wrestling history.

I live in “sunny” Brighton on the southeast coast of England. I’m straightedge, but before you go calling me a huge CM Punk mark, I’ve been edge for many years – long before I knew who the Punker was. I mean, I AM a huge CM Punk mark, but yeah – unrelated.

My three great loves in life are metal, video games and wrestling. I also own way too many comics and manga volumes, enjoy playing Magic: The Gathering and have a giant action figure of a Xenomorph from the Alien franchise next to my computer as I write this. I guess if I had to describe myself, it would go something like this –

Anyway, enough of that. Time for the news!

– The story of the week has to be that of Ariane Andrew, better known as WWE Diva and one half of the Funkadactyls, Cameron. Cameron was arrested for driving under the influence on the 24th of August. News later broke that she allegedly tried to bribe the cops that picked her up, offering $10,000 to an officer to “let her go because she would lose her job.”

You want mugshots? Oh, we got mugshots!

Naturally, the WWE higher-ups were not too pleased about this, especially with Linda currently on her “family-friendly or fired” campaign crusade. The thing that seemed to tick them off the most is that no one learned about it until the news hit the internet. If Cameron had admitted her mistake and confessed beforehand, she may have at least won some points for honesty.

Unsurprisingly, Cameron was suspended for 15 days, through September 14th. Brodus Clay must be annoyed too, as this does nothing but disrupt his momentum. He wasn’t on Raw last night, but hey, that might have been planned regardless.

Whether she will actually come back from the suspension remains to be seen, but the future certainly isn’t looking too bright for Ms. Andrew. Replacing someone who does nothing but dance isn’t much of a hassle, as I’m sure there are plenty of women in developmental who would love the chance to move up to TV.

Drink driving is never acceptable, as you are not only putting your own life at risk, but the lives of countless others should you cause an accident. What amazes me is how someone in such a high-profile job, who knows what happens to employees who overstep the PG boundaries, would still risk driving a car after having consumed alcohol. How is it ever worth it? Is firing someone for a DUI too harsh? Perhaps, but if you know it could happen, don’t even risk it! I can’t say I feel too sympathetic towards Cameron. But who cares about me, what does CM Punk think?

Exactly.

Like death and taxes, the man formerly known as AW kicking up a fuss on Twitter about all this was inevitable:

So a dancer in the WWE gets a DUI and is suspended by the WWE for only 15 days while @BJRatedR gets fired for speaking his mind, etc. #BS

AW gets fired for dated joke, Cameron gets 15 days for drink driving and attempted bribery. #loljustice

As I said before @WWE allows you to disgrace other countries flag, have DUI’s, smoke marijuana, and do steroids but you can’t speak ur mind!

To those who don’t know I was fired for tweeting “Support Linda” I also tweeted “VoteOrDie4Linda” Vince didn’t get it

Linda Mac’s campaign is pretty important. Vince has spent a lot of your money on his wife. The @WWE superstars aren’t getting the $, ask JTG!

JTG blasted their ass on twitter and they went on damage control quick! @WWE has something to hide….

Sigh. I was on AW’s side when he got fired, but he has done nothing but damage his own reputation since. The man just seems bitter and unable to let it go. For his own sake, he really needs to.

– Rumor is going around that CM Punk bladed in his match with Jerry Lawler on Raw last week. The feeling seems to be that Punk is at a high enough level in the company now to get away with such an indiscretion, or that he managed to convince the higher-ups that it was a legitimate cut. Either way, I’d take this with a large grain of salt, but it is possible. Punk has never been one to follow orders and his penchant for honoring the old-school (he sang Kaufman’s song!) where blading in cage matches was relatively common may have led him to do just that. So yeah, if I had to bet, this is just a rumor, but it’s believable enough. I will say that it was nice to see a bit of blood on Raw for a change. I’m not a psychopath but, used sparingly, blood can add a great deal to the right match.

Punk later commented on the matter on Twitter –

The staples are fake too. http://t.co/CZXRRzhk

I paid Charles Robinson’s fine. #respect

And yes, I have more power than you could possibly imagine.

500k fine. Drop in the bucket. Bucket of blood!

Confirmation of a blade job or working the internet? YOU DECIDE.

– WWE continue to be happy with the reactions Ryback has been receiving and are set to continue with the slow build. I find it interesting that people complain about Ryback doing the same thing every week, but also hate it when a new guy gets pushed straight to the top of the card and inevitably fails to catch on. As long as he can manage to not kill anyone, expect Ryback to be considerably over by the time he reaches the main event.

……Actually, that gives me an idea.

No.

Ok, moving on.

Devon announced last Wednesday that he is leaving TNA now that his contract is up. The man once known as D-Von Dudley had this to say on Twitter –

I would like to thank the tna fans for making the last seven years fun . im sure we will see each other again down the road real soon.

im ready to see where god bring me to next. i cant wait . i see big thing on the way

o and HELL NO IM NOT RETIRING.

There has been strong speculation for some time now that both Devon and Bully Ray were considering leaving TNA, so this isn’t too surprising. Word is that TNA are talking of phasing out the TV Title with Devon’s departure. I imagine the common response to this is “what TV title?” Exactly.

As for Bully Ray, he also hit Twitter to comment on the talk surrounding his future –

Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. Things are about to get interesting. #BULLYNATION

Ray has had far more success in TNA than his partner, so it’s very possible that he will choose to stick around. For now, we can only speculate.

– And if you ever needed more proof that The Rock is a huge badass, here it is. Whilst shooting Fast Six in London, The Rock managed to stop a group of burglars trying to break into vans containing expensive equipment. A source at the scene had this to say –

“It was so funny. The Rock looked like an action hero because he had his flak jacket on and an FBI badge in his hand. All of a sudden there was loads of gunfire and this giant dressed as a copper (police officer) was about to mow them down. The lads jumped out of their skin and scarpered (ran off) down the canal path and left the crew in peace. Now the crew are joking that they should drop security and just have The Rock do it.”

I’m not sure if this is the best piece of news I’ve ever read, but it’s up there.

OTHER STUFF THAT ALSO HAPPENED

– It seems that Paul Heyman has signed a new agreement with WWE, evident from last night’s Raw. Heyman’s initial agreement made earlier this year was to last until SummerSlam, but it’s clear that everyone benefits from more Paul. E. Dangerously. I for one am looking forward to seeing Punk and Heyman working together – think of the promos!

– Word is going round that Andy Kaufman might be inducted into the 2013 class of the WWE Hall of Fame. Thoroughly deserved, in my opinion. His stuff with Jerry Lawler is still great to this day.

– Randy Orton hit out on Twitter last week at people speculating about the reasons for him being removed from the lead role of Marine 3.

A Bad Conduct Discharge and a Dishonorable Discharge under the Uniform Code of Military Justice are two different things

Come on you ‘reporters’! Check your facts, and more importantly your sources! I was given a BCD, not a Dishonorable!! #semperfidelis.

Stay classy, Randy.

– WWE were considering taking a shot at UFC over the debacle that was (or wasn’t) UFC 151, pointing out how they had never missed a PPV. Stay classy, Vince.

– John Morrison has tweeted that he and Melina are working on a new web project, The Darkness Descending: Redemption. The world holds its breath in anticipation.

– Heath Slater is the new father of a baby girl. For her sake, I hope she got her mother’s hair.

– Ric Flair is getting divorced. Is this news?

– Kurt Angle has been wrestling with a pulled hamstring, mainly working six man tag matches to limit his time in the ring. We here at the TWWWTW hope Kurt heals up quickly so he can start training for the 2016 Olympics.

– Bray Wyatt, formerly Husky Harris of the Nexus, posted on Twitter about his return from injury –

“Do you believe? The wait is almost over……..”

“September the 20th. Full sail university #returnOfWyatt”

“Time to change the world. I will no longer be alone, i want to introduce you to my family”

Bray/Husky seems to have found his niche with this gimmick, and some of his promos have been fantastic. Expect the guy to be a big deal when he moves back up to TV.

– Two men have been charged with second-degree theft after stealing an authentic TNA World Title belt as well as a replica on August 18th when TNA held a house show in Ottumwa, Iowa. Remember kids, crime doesn’t pay. Especially if you get caught.

– There is a campaign to get Ric Flair a role in The Hangover 3. Hell, make him a producer. I’m sure the man knows a thing or two about a hangover.

– Zeus, pro wrestler extraordinaire and co-star of potential best film ever No Holds Barred, is facing five years in prison for mortgage fraud. Are you not listening, Zeus? Crime doesn’t pay! First Hogan and now the American judicial system – guy can’t catch a break.

– Drew McIntyre said during a Q&A on Twitter yesterday that he is injured and will be out recovering for a couple of weeks. There are two potential punch lines here that I can’t decide between, so I’m gonna go with both:

1) Oh, so THATS why he hasn’t been on TV lately.
2) Who?

– Everyone’s favorite Andy Samberg wrestling look alike, Derrick Bateman, has begun posting videos online to promote a change in his character. Take a watch, this is actually quite funny.

Speaking as a foreigner, this is what America is really like, right?

Did you watch Raw? I did! Let’s go through it:

Punk beats up Jerry Lawler, again.

Anything that results in Lawler not commentating gets a thumbs up from me.

Sheamus and Punk do some talking.

Let me sum this up.

I always enjoy Chicago shows thanks to the great crowds they usually have. It’s fun seeing the huge reaction Punk gets, and they tend to seem more interested in everything else too.

Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler.

So remind me again why I bother watching Smackdown?

Dolph wins! Makes a nice change. I know that wins and losses, on the whole, don’t really matter in this biz, but it would be nice if Dolph looked strong going into his eventual world title reign.

This was a surprisingly decent match, better than their previous encounter on Friday. They got over ten minutes to play with and made the most of them. That’s one benefit to the three-hour Raw – some matches do get that little extra bit of time that they wouldn’t otherwise.

The Miz joins Cole on commentary.

I’m not the biggest Miz fan in the world, but I’ll take him over King any day of the week.

Daniel Bryan and Kane are back in anger management class.

I understand I may be in the minority, but I’m loving these little skits. Everything Daniel Bryan touches these days turns to gold, and Kane played for laughs is always entertaining. I loved the little “YES/NO” anger collage. Funny stuff.

Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio vs Tensai and Cody Rhodes.

One of these things is not like the others. Cody will no doubt eventually move up into the main event, and he needs stuff to do until then. It’s just a shame it’s stuff like this boring, uneventful feud.

More anger management.

Harold needs medical attention after one back bump? Isn’t this guy supposed to be a wrestler?

Punk bails.

I liked this. It adds to Punk’s growing heel turn without him actually doing anything outright heelish. And hell, why shouldn’t the guy take a personal day? I’m sure it’s tiring being WWE champion.

I’ve just thought of a great twist. What if it turns out that Punk hasn’t actually left and turns up later in the show? Crazy I know, but it could just happen!

Sheamus vs Jack Swagger.

oh gee who is gonna win this one

Ricardo gets literally killed by a Brogue Kick.

Wow, give the man an Emmy. Turns out Ricardo is the 2nd best seller in the WWE – after this guy, of course

A Divas match.

I’ll be honest, I might have fast-forwarded through this.

Jack Swagger walks off into the sunset.

I agree Swaggles, you are better than this. I can see him coming back as a face, a couple months down the road.

Anger management episode 2 part 3.

More RawActive nonsense. I obviously can’t vote as I watch the show on a Tuesday morning, because it airs live at 1am here. But if I could, I’d have voted for the hug. I am a terrible wrestling fan.

Ryback vs Jinder Mahal.

Oh, you chant Goldberg during Ryback matches? How original! TELL. ME. MORE.

Daniel Bryan and Kane attempt to hug it out.

Again, I found this hilarious. You could see D-Bry trying not to smile throughout, which just added to the humour.

Antonio Cesaro vs Santino Marella.

Well, at least this feud is done now.

Zack Ryder vs Heath Slater.

This is a match that happened.

AJ goes insane.

It’s cool guys, I’m sure this is all going somewhere.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio.

That guy dressed up as Randy Savage in the audience was fantastic.

Again, a surprisingly good match. It even felt a little PPV-esque at times, with the announce table meeting its maker and the submission reversal bit. Berto gets the win, Cena still looks strong, Punk does heel stuff, everyone’s happy. Oh, and…

Holy crap, Paul Heyman!

Holy crap, Paul Heyman! This was a pleasant surprise. As I said earlier, I get the feeling I’m going to enjoy Paul and Punk working together.

A solid episode of Raw this week. Two good matches of decent length as well as some entertaining promo work, with nothing that was flat-out bad. I’m still not sold on Raw being three-hours, but I appreciate the extra time it can give to matches.

Every week, I’ll end with a little rumination on a topic I’ve been thinking about recently. The point of this bit is to encourage discussion, and I’ll include the best comments in next week’s column.

Let’s start things off with something simple – who is your favorite wrestler of all time, and why?

The question may be simple, but coming up with an answer is anything but. I’ve thought about this for years, and have yet to come up with a definite answer. If I’m forced, I’ll probably pick Randy Savage. The man had it all – athletic talent, an absurd amount of charisma, the world’s coolest voice, and a rap album. Be a man, Hogan!

Two other names in close contention for the position are Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, and there are always more – picking just one guy is impossible.

So, over to you guys. If you had to pick one favorite wrestler, who would it be? And more importantly, what are the reasons?

This marks the end of the inaugural edition of The Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was. I hope you enjoyed it, but if not, please leave a comment telling me how crap I am. I love that shit.

I write about metal on my personal blog, so take a look at http://themetalbloguk.blogspot.co.uk/ if you are that way inclined.

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Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all next week.