Thursday Sports Entertainment News Report 09.13.12

Greetings, folks, and welcome to another edition of Thursday Sports Entertainment! Let’s see what you folks had to say regarding last week’s column:

The Ladybug brought me here.

That’s right… the review of Smackdown from a 5 year old is one of, if not THE most interesting original thing on this site.

That said.. Sean Kelly is a pretty good writer too, so kudos for that!

Posted By: Blackbird 13 (Guest) on September 06, 2012 at 03:59 AM

The consensus seems to be that Awesome Ladybug Girl = “awesome!” and Sean Kelly = “kind of good, I guess.” And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that. In a way I’m slightly envious of Victoria, as she gets to experience the Sport of Kings with the same wide-eyed wonder that I did as a child. Those days where I literally got on my knees and prayed that Earthquake didn’t hurt Hulk Hogan bad enough to make him retire are long gone. As the jaded IWC adult that I am, I sometimes forget how much fun wrestling can be…but thankfully I have Awesome Ladybug Girl around to help me remember.

Awesome Ladybug Girl is the best thing in the IWC today. It’s not even close.

Does she know, that her remarks go into your column? Does she know, that she has fans?

Posted By: PaulOrndorff (Guest) on September 07, 2012 at 04:26 PM

No, Victoria has no idea that her thoughts are documented and shared with you fine folks. Perhaps I’ll let her know one day. But the way you phrased your question tickles me to no end. The fact that my 5-year old daughter has “fans” never occurred to me, but I think it’s really cool that she does. And believe me, I sincerely appreciate the praise that everyone has given her.

I’m from the UK and the ” What if they’d had a gun” remark never entered my head. Fortunately outside of Drug related crime you will hardly (and I mean almost never ) have a firearm involved.Chances of being stabbed or glassed however ………..!

Posted By: K (Guest) on September 06, 2012 at 09:05 AM

My Uncle Pat (the same Uncle Pat from the “tits make you do nice things” They Live story) was a Policeman in Ireland for decades. During the same visit as the They Live incident, we had a conversation that went something like this:

7-year old Me: So you’re a policeman?

Uncle Pat: Yes.

7-year old Me: Can I see your gun?

Uncle Pat: I don’t have a gun.

7-year old Me: You don’t have a gun?! But you’re a policeman!

Uncle Pat: Why would I carry a gun? If I had a gun, then the criminals would carry guns, too.

Being from Brooklyn. I thought this was INSANE. Cops had guns, dammit! But it’s interesting that you, Mr. K from the UK, have a similar thought process as my Uncle Pat. Guess there’s not too much gun escalation going on across the pond.

And now, the news!

WORLD (WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT) NEWS TONIGHT

The top story this week is Jerry “The King” Lawler suffering a medical emergency during Monday night’s episode of RAW. Lawler was immediately tended to by WWE Medical staff and EMTs, who carried him out on a stretcher mid-show. According to tweets & statements from Lawler’s family, Jerry was clinically dead for about 15 minutes before medical staff revived him. He was taken to a hospital in Montreal where a cat scan confirmed that The King suffered a heart attack. According to Lawler’s ex-wife Stacey “The Kat” Carter, Jerry had a “stint and a balloon put in” his heart. Scans show that Lawler’s brain did not suffer any damage due to the lack of oxygen during the time where he wasn’t breathing. All reports indicate that while Jerry isn’t speaking, he’s breathing on his own and is responsive to people around him. As each new report comes out of Montreal, they seem more and more optimistic. Let’s hope that trend continues.

While watching RAW, I had no idea anything was happening until Michael Cole solemnly addressed the camera. I did see that the crowd seemed distracted but figured it was a fight between fans or some other nonsense. Looking back on the situation, I have to say that WWE handled this near-tragic incident perfectly. They got The King the help he needed right away, made sure to keep it off camera, and then addressed it in a respectful, direct manner with the viewers at home.

And say what you will about Michael Cole, but the man did an amazing job under such stressful and troubling circumstances. I saw a side of Michael Cole I never got to see before, and I respect him a helluva lot more after Monday’s RAW. The guy takes a lot of flak from fans, and maybe rightfully so, but he was one of Monday night’s MVPs from a broadcasting perspective.

Right when the show ended, I thought what many other people thought – that Lawler was very lucky this happened during the broadcast. If he had been alone in his hotel room or driving his car, he’d probably be dead right now. The only better place where he could have collapsed is in the middle of an Emergency Room. So thank God for the timing, because it could have been much, much worse.

Many folks might think that Lawler’s continued wrestling at 62 years old had something to do with his coronary, but I’m not so sure. For all we know, it could be more related to his diet, or a hereditary issue that caused the attack. Until more information is revealed, I’d rather not comment on his wrestling – but one thing is for sure, his in-ring days are most likely at an end.

Best wishes to Jerry Lawler and his family during this difficult time.

The initial plans for Kane and Daniel Bryan was for the two to face off in a singles match at Night of Champions. WWE officials are reportedly impressed and entertained by the chemistry they have, and decided to make them a tag team instead. They will now challenge for the tag team titles at the PPV.

I’m so pleasantly surprised by the killer chemistry Kane and Bryan have as a team. This angle is probably the best thing to come out of Charlie Sheen’s terrible Anger Management show. And “Team Friendship” is probably the best tag team name of all time, so I pray that they run with it, at least for a little while. There’s only one way this team could get any better…

Daniel Bryan revealed in an interview with WWE Magazine that he has talked to William Regal about potentially being his on-air manager. Here is what he had to say…

“I would love to have William Regal as my manager and we’ve actually talked about it. There are so many entertaining bits we could do. He’s such an entertaining character, so we’ve got some ideas, and I would love to do it.”

Oh pleeeease put William Regal back on TV. The man is comedy gold and he can only make things better between Bryan and Kane. If he were their manager, I’d even consider letting them change the team name to something more British, like “The Jolly Old Chums.”

WWE has denied a report on Wrestlezone.com from yesterday that said their plans for the WWE Network have been put on hold indefinitely.

WWE’s Senior Vice President of Marketing and Communications, Brian Flinn said to the website: “This report is a complete fabrication and totally inaccurate.”

He did not, however, give any details or clarification.

The report claimed that the WWE is having difficulty forming agreements with cable providers and consumer studies show minimal interest. It claimed that WWE was putting it on hold and considering canceling it completely. A hiring freeze for the network was issued and any new hires are in danger of losing their jobs.

It’s always been clear that the WWE creative department doesn’t really do much long-term planning when it comes to booking. After all, Superstars get injured, crowds influence the way storylines progress, new opportunities arise, etc. I get it. They can’t plan the creative end too far in advance because the process is dynamic and needs to change organically depending on a variety of factors.

But it seems that’s how every department in the company works. The XFL had no long-term planning. Neither did the World Bodybuilding Federation or WWE Studios. And it seems like the WWE Network is following a similar, fly by the seat of your pants planning process. Here’s how the WWE Network has been executed thus far:

Step 1) Decide to have a network
Step 2) Create a logo
Step 3) Advertise the network to millions of people
Step 4) Hire some folks
Step 5) Create a little bit of content
Step 6) Figure out distribution strategy

That’s just an ass-backwards way of doing things. You’d think that World Wrestling Entertainment would have FIRST determined their distribution strategy and saved their advertising for last. I’m telling ya, the WWE needs some good strategy/planning people in there, pronto.

THE AWESOME LADYBUG GIRL RECAPS THE 9/7/12 SMACKDOWN

For those of you unfamiliar with the Awesome Ladybug Girl, that’s the wrestling moniker my 5 (soon to be 6) year old daughter Victoria gave herself after we started watching wrestling together. Her first ever wrestling experience was the 1000th episode of RAW, and her questions/comments were so hilarious that I had to share them with you. Since then, she’s become a Sports Entertainment addict, constantly asking to watch wrestling. When we’re able, I transcribe the experience and share it with you, dear readers.

Awesome Ladybug Girl had a good week this week. Her Rey Mysterio mask and World Heavyweight Championship belt came in the mail, and I couldn’t wait the month and a half until her birthday to give them to her. So, she got some early birthday presents. Needless to say, she was very excited. Hey, Awesome Ladybug Girl…what do you think of Daniel Bryan?

And there you have it.

So, without further ado – The Awesome Ladybug Girl recaps SmackDown!

Victoria started the episode asking where Sheamus was. Her new nickname for him is “Shamey.”

She questioned Ricardo’s injury, asking “how come we can’t see the boo boo?”

Victoria gets frustrated with Alberto’s accent, exclaiming repeatedly “I still can’t understand him! I don’t speak his language!”

In the brogue kick highlight reel, she started clapping when it was Daniel Bryan eating Sheamus’ boot. Man, she really dislikes Bryan.

Awesome Ladybug Girl still thinks the GM’s name is “Booger T.” I refrain from correcting her

She still likes Rey Mysterio and refers to him as “Jumpy Guy”

Victoria asked “how come we can’t see their faces?” I explained to her that it’s how people from Mexico like to wrestle. Her response was “Well, we’re from New York so we don’t need those masks.”

During the RAW recap between Kane and Bryan hugging it out, she was shocked that they hugged each other. When the moment deteriorated to violence, she was equally shocked that they were fighting – “but they were supposed to forgive each other! So much for a hug…”

“If I saw Daniel Bryan I wouldn’t say yes to him because I don’t want him to yell in my face.”

When Bryan was getting angry during his match, Victoria said “Uh oh, he’s getting angry again. Remember what you learned, Daniel!” It’s interesting to see how she instinctively, innocently roots for the good in people. When Bryan tries hard to be nice, she likes him and encourages him. When he yells and screams, she can’t stand him. It’s very basic but it works for kids her age.

Victoria got bored during Damien Sandow’s promo, asking “is shake-a-butt guy (Dolph Ziggler) coming?”

And sure enough, he came out a few minutes later. While he didn’t shake his butt, Awesome Ladybug Girl was clearly struck by the fact that he was all dressed up. She even admired his wardrobe – “what a jacket that is! Those glasses! Pink! I love it!” Seeing how smitten she was with Mr. Ziggler, I asked her “Do you think he’s handsome?” Her response was a big grin, followed by a slow, approving nod. This is not good.

Victoria: “Daddy? What’s his wrestling name again?”
Me: “Dolph Ziggler.”
Victoria: “I changed my mind about ladybugs. I also like dolphins.”
I don’t like where this is going. I don’t care what she says, she’s NOT becoming Awesome Dolphin Girl!

On Kofi Kingston’s logo: “why is there a spider on there?”

She was very Impressed with David Otunga’s big muscles. “How many does he have?!”

Victoria was excited when Sheamus won. “He always wins because he’s so clever! I’m so proud of Sheamus.”

So to recap, Sheamus is still #1, Mysterio is still #2, and the Dolph Ziggler crush is getting out of hand. Ladybug Girl (NOT Dolphin Girl!) runs hot and cold on Daniel Bryan, depending on how hard he tries to be nice. Victoria’s hatred of accents continues, and I will let her call the GM” Booger T” until she figures it out on her own.

YOU’RE IN FOR A REAL TWEET

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SIGNING OFF

That’ll do it for this week. I won’t be here next week as I’ll be away in work-related training. This edition wasn’t as long as previous News Reports, but time was limited this week and the Lawler news kind of made everything else seem trivial. Go call your mom and tell her you love her.

Hasta Jueves,

This is Sean.