wrestling / Columns

The Tuesday Communique 09.18.12: Revenge of the Something

September 18, 2012 | Posted by Nick Marsico


The Wrestling News Experience with Stephen Randle
The Wrestling 5&1: Maria v. Kaitlyn with Greg De Marco
Handicapping The News 9.14.12 with Gavin Napier
Thursday Sports Entertainment Report with Sean Kelly
The Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was with Sam Smith
The Piledriver Report: Jerry Lawler with Ronny Sarnecky
The 8 Ball: Jerry Lawler Feuds with Ryan Byers

“Your beginning paragraps is why you fail. You initially ask for feedback, then just say “fuck it, people like me, and I will do as I please.” Enjoy it Nick!”

I will!

Anyway…


Intercontinental Championship
The Miz def. Cody Rhodes, Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara

This was the perfect choice to be the opening match of the PPV proper. Every one of the guys was performing on all cylinders, which means even though Sin Cara was at least a step behind at all times he still looked better than usual. I absolutely loved this match — it was fast-paced, they got a decent amount of time to work with and the right guy won. Can I request a Cody Rhodes face turn?


Tag Team Championship
Kane & Daniel Bryan def. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth

The crowd was clearly begging for a title change here and they got their wish. I expected myself to be upset about the fact that all of the other “true” tag teams got passed over by a makeshift comedy team, but the Kane/Bryan pairing has been working amazingly and both men are good enough at both being serious and doing comedy that their reign can last a long time before they are defeated and have the inevitable split. Establish them as the team to beat for lengthy period of time and then whoever gets to take the belts from them will get a huge rub. The match was fun but the most memorable (and most entertaining) part came afterward with the “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS” argument. The fact that both men can do that with a straight face is simply amazing. They’ve been tag team partners for 8 days and I declare them the best “wacky tag team partners that hate each other” of all time.


United States Championship
Antonio Cesaro def. Zack Ryder

At just under 7 minutes this match actually got a couple minutes more than I expected. It allowed both guys to show off some of their moves and surprisingly enough Ryder and Cesaro appeared to have really good chemistry. It’s not saying much, but this was easily AC’s best WWE match to date (I don’t know if he’s done anything on Superstars) and thanks to being in the ring with the perpetually over (despite Vince’s best efforts) Ryder the crowd actually paid attention and gave a damn during the contest. I hope getting a match on PPV signals a bit of a career resurgence for Ryder, but somehow I feel that he got the spot for the reason I stated above. It ensured that people would be at least somewhat invested in the match with the intention of getting Cesaro over. Not that I have a problem with that, since AC is awesome and it’s a joy to see Ryder getting to perform on the bigger stage that he has worked so hard to get to.


Battle For Pride
Randy Orton def. Dolph Ziggler

Definitely their best match thus far. Both guys pulled out their PPV working boots on Sunday and made this match much different from their previous TV contests. I thoroughly enjoyed this match and I have absolutely zero problem with the result. Ziggler is way over, and although he’s generally more over with the “smart” towns like Boston, Chicago and New York, his hard work in the ring and his ability to be preeminently entertaining is going to overcome a poor win-loss record without a doubt. The feud between Orton and Ziggler has been less than thrilling, but between the ropes they are stellar performers and I love watching them shine as wrestlers.


Divas Championship
Eve Torres def. Layla

This was the exact conclusion to this part of the angle that everybody expected. Kaitlyn gets Nancy Kerrigan’d and the “concerned” Eve takes her spot and gets the title. If Eve really was supposed to be the original winner of that battle royal a few weeks back, I’m glad she didn’t win because this is a better story. Match was good, but the complete lack of heat and an overall distracted crowd really took a lot out of it. I said in the preview last week that a match betwen Kaitlyn and Layla would be a trainwreck and I’m glad they decided against going in that direction.


World Heavyweight Championship
Sheamus def. Alberto Del Rio

Can this feud be over now? Their contest at NoC was superior to their other two pay-per-view outings and certainly the only one that was not a paint-by-numbers contest. We got counters, counters to counters and some different stuff from champion and challenger. If this is the third and final match then they went out on the right one. I’m actually going to give this match a second watch!


WWE Championship
CM Punk v. John Cena ends in a Draw

Just a wild, fantastic match here. The crowd was great, the atmosphere really was “big time” and everything went perfectly. On par, if not better, than the very highly touted match at last year’s Money in the Bank show. I’m going to be watching this one again too. If I didn’t already know the results before I watched this one I would have been FREAKING OUT when both guys kicked out of each others’ finishers TWICE. Some people complained that the whole kicking out of big moves is way overdone, but when it’s done correctly, like it was in this match, then it doesn’t matter if it’s done in the main event of every other card on every other night in every other promotion — it works. Great, great match and the finish was fantastic as well. First and foremost, they did a fucking German suplex off the middle rope spot! Who the heck even does that? Awesome. The double pinfall gimmick isn’t done very often and it adds to this particular feud. Cena didn’t lose, but neither did Punk. Punk keeps the title and didn’t have to cheat to do so. Neither one of them is the better man, but since Punk has the belt he can go right ahead and say that it is indeed him who is the Best in the World.

Overall Night of Champions Thoughts
WWE pulled off a very good show here. Not a bad match to be had, the show flew by pretty quickly and it looks like some feuds ended while others continued, which is how I believe a non “big four” PPV should be. Solid thumbs up for a very enjoyable outing.

Chad Patton and the Title Match Decision

– Honest question: do phones take video footage that good?

– THE VOICE OF THE VOICE OF THE VOICELESS

– No more Sheamus/Del Rio! Woo!

– My son: “Ricardo just wants to take that thing off but they’re not letting him!”

– I’m very sorry to admit this. AJ’s song rules.

– Ya know, I’m not usually thrown off by this girl, but AJ stepped through those ropes… WOW.

– I didn’t speak too soon about ADR/Sheamus, did I?
_____

– More wires than AT&T? What year is this?

– HOLY CRAP JIM ROSS!

– One of these things is not like the others…
_____

Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara def. Primo & Epico (6 mins)

– I love JBL. He actually acknowledges that there are other promotions instead of just saying that guys have wrestled “abroad” or “overseas”.

– Fine match, but let’s get these guys a team finisher.

– Prime Time Players with a vengeance! It’s almost like there’s a tag team division! They actually let the dudes speak… with some passion. Of course Primo & Epico had to get squashed in the process, but we have four (!) legitimate teams right now. Unless they break up Truth and Kofi tonight.

Eve Torres def. Beth Phoenix (2 mins)

– JBL calls out Layla for her bitching and Layla has absolutely no comeback. When are they going to learn that you can’t give Layla an open mic and no material? It’s only going to end in disaster and shame.

Brodus Clay def. Heath Slater (2 mins)

– “I just don’t like him as a human being.” says Cesaro in a far too kind tone.

– That was a shitty match, even by shitty match standards.

MizTV with Guest Booker T

– He’s a 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time WCW Champion! He’s a 1 time World Heavyweight Champion.

– JBL acknowledges the boring chant. Vince wishes JBL was still employed just so he could fine him for that.

– Ryback just picked up a couch and threw it. Does that count as a formal title challenge?

Dolph Ziggler def. Santino Marella (4 mins)

– Who the heck dressed Vickie? It’s not a bra, it’s not a shirt and it’s not something I want to look at.

– JBL acknowledges the “Let’s Go Ziggler” chant too! Cole: “I guess they appreciate the athleticism.” JBL: “No, they appreciate Dolph Ziggler.” PLEASE bring JBL back full time.

– Two Zig Zags. Dolph hates jobbers!

Wade Barrett def. Justin Gabriel (4 mins)

– So we’re doing jobber matches again, eh?

– And now COLE is acknowledging the crowd’s unwanted chants! Connecticut knows they really don’t want Nexus, they just want to sound “cool” and chant something while a crappy match is going on.

– Nice moonsault by Gabriel!

– Barrett’s new finish is pretty sweet. Far better than Wasteland. Kassius Ohno has to come up with something new now, though.
_____

– Jared is getting a bit chubby. Looks a bit like Joseph Park, actually.
_____

Tag Titles: Daniel Bryan & Kane def. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (13 mins)

– Disneyland is quite a distance from Massachusetts and Connecticut. There’s no way Kane went to California after Night of Champions.

– Good match. Not as good as the PPV one, but it was never meant to be a barnburner. Kane and Bryan are entertaining as hell, and for now the former champs haven’t turned on each other!

– I hope they position Kane & Bryan against heels going forward.
_____

– David Otunga asks how many kids have been bullied. Half of the kids raise their hands. The principal sends a letter home to the parents of the other half.
_____

Randy Orton def. Tensai (7 mins)

– Sweet spinning back elbow by Orton.

– Is Tensai’s transformation from dude who kills jobbers to jobber himself the quickest ever?

– IWGP Tag Title shout out! See, JBL actually makes truthful statements. Tensai didn’t just “go to Japan for a while” he went to Japan where he was immensely successful and worked for an actual professional wrestling company. Is it really that hard?

– Was Orton smiling at the “Albert” chant? Way to hold a closeup on the guy while he totally no-sells the move. I guess Orton is the king of the resthold, so they do not affect him. That makes sense.

– That was a very long 7-minute match. Sweet finish though.

Damien Sandow def. Zack Ryder (6 mins)

Temerity is a big word? What trade school did you go to? If you don’t see a black hat or your picture, you’ve got the wrong dictionary.

– JBL IS… GOD.

– The reason JBL is such a great commentator is that not only is he well-spoken, funny and intelligent but he doesn’t lean heel or face. He thinks Zack Ryder is a complete fool and derides him for it but he also proclaims that he’s a very good wrestler and at the top of his game. Well done, sir.

– Good match. I can live with Ryder being a job guy as long as he can be a competitive one like he was this week.

John Cena & Sheamus def. CM Punk & Alberto Del Rio (11 min)

– Look at that high five!

– Punk’s new gag of standing in the ring with the belt over his head is hilarious.

– Sweet drop toehold by Punk.

– Holy hell what a kick to the face by Del Rio!

– WOW that counter into the STF was sweet.

– Brogue Kick! Crowd is going batfuck!

– AA! 3 count! Punk’s foot was on the rope! I’ve never seen this referee before! Fire him!

– Heyman: “He’s a ref!” Punk: “He’s a BAD ref!”

Overall RAW Thoughts
Mixed bag, really. The opening segment was good, the Kane/Bryan stuff was fun and the main event stuff was all very good. I’m glad there is some more focus on the tag division, but that was the beginning of an odd theme tonight… the jobber match returneth? Have they realized that they have 3 hours to fill every Monday and they’re just going to pack all of the guys they’re pushing out there and feed jobbers to them in between building feuds with the other stars? I can go for that, I guess, but some of the matches were sloppy and boring. “Enhancement talent” should enhance the talent you’re pushing, thus making them look good. It’s not just about the wins, it’s about how adept they look in victory. Sloppy =/= adept. All in all, it felt like a loooooong show but I was entertained for the most part and the enhancement talent route was quite interesting. Let’s see where that goes next week.


Recent reports are saying that Lex Luger will be the man to induct Sting at next month’s first TNA Hall of Fame induction. Christian’s possible involvement at BFG weekend has nothing to do with the time he has been taking off recently, and really, did that story make any sense to begin with?

The newest release from the TNA locker room is Winter, also known as Katie Lea Burchill, but I figure you already knew that. Did she actually serve any purpose? I don’t think she was a good wrestler and since TNA doesn’t really do anything important with their female wrestlers any longer, she probably ended up being of little-to-no value. I wonder what happened to Paul Burchill. He was supposed to be big.

Bound for Glory will be shown in movie theatres this year in 30 states. There’s actually a couple near me, and at between $15 and $20 a pop I may consider bringing my son and checking it out. I’ve always wanted to see a wrestling show in a movie theatre, and Bound for Glory might be worth it. You can go here for more information.

Devon spoke about his release from TNA and what I took out of it, most importantly, is that he is definitely welcome back if he so chooses. I don’t know if there was some contractual issue that stopped him from re-signing after the August 28 deadline but it seems sort of odd, doesn’t it?

“The deal was up as of August 28th (of this year), and I was still (World) Television Champion. It just so happened at that particular point in time, we were in the process of cutting a new deal, but we couldn’t cut it in time before the deadline. A lot of fans speculated different things, and rumors were running rampant. Safe to say, I have no ill feelings towards TNA at all. It’s just that we could not come to an agreement before the 28th, and the deal ran out. It is what it is.” – Devon

The deal ended and since he didn’t sign a new one by that day it was just over? I don’t think there’s necessarily “more” to this story in a bad way, but it seems like he just wanted some time away from TNA and didn’t want to be chained down in case WWE was biting. He just can’t say that in an interview, I guess.

In a rare moment of clarity, Kurt Angle said last week that he thinks another Monday Night War is inevitable but “may not happen for another 10 or 15 years.”. Why can’t this be the Kurt Angle who posts on Twitter?

D’Lo Brown talked about the current TNA product on television, noting that going live has been a good thing (it has) and that it makes it easier to keep the audience guessing when it comes to Aces & 8s (it does). It hasn’t brought in new viewers, though, like he seemed to be leaning toward saying. At this point I feel that TNA will only grow in ticket sales and TV ratings if they get the hell out of the Impact Zone. I don’t have a big problem with the fans, but only going on the road for non-televised shows that don’t figure into important TV happenings (outside of the BFG Series) isn’t going to help them grow. TNA needs to bring TV around the country, that way more people will come out to the TV tapings and get into the TNA product, so when they come back to those markets for non-televised events they can sell more tickets and truly grow the brand. Obviously I’m not the first person who has said this, but I felt like saying it.

By the way, we all know that Hogan is going to end up being the leader of Aces & 8s, right?


When asked why he hasn’t signed a WWE Legends contract, Bill Goldberg replied “[They] never offered me one…” That solves that mystery.

Daniel Bryan is no longer a vegan and sadly he never ended up going by the name “Buddy Peacock”. If I were a wrestler, that would be my name. “That’s MISTER Peacock to you, buddy!” I would SO use that as a catchphrase.

WWE is removing all Attitude Era related content from their website, Youtube page and the new mobile app due to its apparent misuse in the mudslinging of Linda McMahon’s opponents. As many people in the comments of the 411 news article said, WWE’s spokesman said that Attitude Era content is outdated, yet at the same time they’re using it as THE big selling point for their brand new video game. Taking the “edgier” content offline is just another way that WWE is (unwittingly, I guess) punishing their fans all for the sake of Linda McMahon’s run at the Senate. What does she want with the seat anyway? Does she feel like time has passed her by in wrestling so much that she doesn’t feel relevant as a person any longer? Seriously. I always felt like I liked Linda, but based on the past few years with her attempts to get on the Senate I think she might actually be worse than Vince.

Sunny got arrested three times last week. I don’t know if there’s more I can even add, except McDonald’s or something.

WFSB Channel 3

Randy Orton flipped the bird on Sunday night. He then apologized on Twitter. Whole story.

Oh, also, Sunny went to Facebook and wrote: “Cheat on a good woman, You get choked out.” This was posted AFTER she was released from jail for the third time in 3 days. Research is still being conducted in order to locate the woman she was referring to.


RJ on Tag Team Names
“Kofi and Truth: “Paradise with Little Jimmy” OR “Truth in Paradise” OR “SOS calling Little Jimmy” | Epico and Primo: “Springboard Salsa” OR “Hot Rosa and jumping kicks” | Darren and Titus: “Barking afros” OR, “Combing and Spine jarring”

They should call E&P “Too Hot for (Saturday Morning) TV”. Also:


YEAH!


Bonerfied on Sheamus & The WHC
“Please have Sheamus lose. He has made the WHC look like the European belt… Why would they let this guy hold the belt so long!?”

Care to further explain your position on Sheamus? I think the guy is great. Maybe a little too smiley and happy-go-lucky sometimes, but you can’t blame him for that. He’s a great wrestler, he has a fantastic presence and he is great for public relations. I hate having two World titles, but that’s a topic for another day.


Guest#0395 on CM Punk, BITW
“Lawler would call Punk the best in the world because that’s part of Punk’s gimmick, most people would call Cena the best in the world because he brings in the most money.

Also Cena just defeated Punk by DQ at Raw 1000 so Cena has beaten Punk in a one on one match recently while Punk hasn’t beaten Cena in a one on one match since last years SummerSlam.

I guess If being the champ makes you the best then that would make Sheamus the best since he has been a more dominate champion and according to the IWC he never loses.”

Hey Guest… if you’re the same dude I’ve been going back and forth with, give yourself a name! I’d like to give you credit (even if it’s a stupid name) for contributing to the column and helping me to truly enjoy doing this. Regarding the topic at hand, Punk beat Cena at NoC, at least the record books will say so — but obviously it was controversial. My main point is that if Punk isn’t the Best in the World, neither is Cena. The criteria for being called BITW shouldn’t be based on beating Cena.


the mecca on Secondary Titles
“agree completely on the challenger situation for the secondary titles. this is just total bull. why the hell can’t they even try to treat mid card titles as important? for everything WWE does right they really do make some big glaring mistakes.”

It’s a shame, but as long as they can sell the replicas it won’t matter if anything makes a damn bit of sense. Same reason why I wish they would unify WWE & WHC but know if won’t happen. Of course if they merged the belts and created a new look for the unified title, they could sell that one AND the two others and call them “classic” designs. Shit would still sell like hotcakes.

There are some things I wasn’t able to get to this week, but I’m already working on them so you’ll get them next week. Kenneth Cameron and Connor O’Brian will be profiled and I will indeed talk about Ring of Honor. For real! A quick update on ROH is that I actually sat down over the weekend and watched 3 weeks of the TV show and enjoyed it, so maybe I’m out of the ROH funk I was in. I’ll let you know next week when hopefully I’ll be fully caught up.

Thanks for reading. The new guy is in tomorrow. Sam Smith. I like his column. You should too.

Nicholas A. Marsico

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Nick Marsico

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