wrestling / Columns

Thursday Sports Entertainment News Report 10.04.12

October 4, 2012 | Posted by Sean Kelly

Greetings, folks, and welcome to another edition of Thursday Sports Entertainment!

I usually start off the column with 3-4 comments from last week’s edition, but 411’s new comment system seems to have obliterated older comments. So I’ll have to go from memory this week.

I recall several positive responses for the “Life of your average superstar” write-up I did last week. I am glad you enjoyed it. Some people asked to see more. While initially I didn’t see it as a recurring feature, after thinking about it, I realized that there may be a cool way of turning it into something I can do every now and then. I need to percolate on it a bit, so look for “The Diary of John Cena” to debut in the coming weeks.

I also recollect another person saying that wrestler paydays make such a lifestyle worth it. I disagree. Big paydays are only for the top talent. The guys who make millions are few and far between. For every John Cena, there are 10 JTGs just scraping by. Sure, your average WWE wrestler makes in the low six figure range, but keep in mind that most talent is responsible for his/her own food, lodging, gas, rental car, etc. That adds up, so the money doesn’t make the grind of the road and the lack of a personal life worth the aggravation. Just ask Tyler Reks.

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WWE creative members have the same challenges as the wrestlers. You ever get the feeling that some IWC writers desperately want to work for WWE or TNA? A lot of stuff out there screams “I WISH I WERE A MEMBER OF CREATIVE!” Not me. The WWE could offer me $500K per year to write for them and I wouldn’t take the offer. Those guys never see their homes, and I have two kids that I want to watch grow up, thankyouverymuch. The traveling lifestyle ain’t worth it for a homebody like me. Would you take such an offer?

And now, the news!

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WORLD (WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT) NEWS TONIGHT

Nikki of the Bella Twins, aka Nicole Garcia, has accused WWE of trying to “remake” the Bella Twins by way of the Funkadactyls. After a fan pointed out that Cameron and Naomi wore silver clothing similar to what the Bellas use to wear, Nicole posted to Twitter:

Unbelievable!! They’re trying to remake us haha

She later posted:

1st they steal our entrance, now our outfits, next is the booty shake & then they’ll b calling themselves twins!

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My sincere hope is that the Bellas are trying to generate some steam for a future angle a la Punk/Jericho and the “best in the world” catchphrase, and that this isn’t a petty jealousy thing. If it’s the former, then more power to them. If it’s the latter, good Lord. Who cares?

And that last comment about calling them twins smacks of racism. What, do all “their people” look alike to you, Nikki? HUH? HUH??!!

WWE is currently debating the location for WrestleMania 30, with the top locations being Los Angeles and Madison Square Garden in New York.

The feeling is that the downside of running MSG again for the event is that they are running the market this year for WrestleMania 29. Also, the thought is that WWE would have to charge exorbitant amounts of money for tickets in order to recoup the ticket revenue lost from not holding the event in a stadium setting.

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MSG can seat 18,200 people. WrestleMania 28 drew 78,363 people. See the problem? I’m from NYC and I don’t think WWE should have WrestleMania 30 at Madison Square Garden. First, we’re getting WrestleMania 29, so let some other market have a turn. Second, WWE would have to charge four times as much per ticket as they normally do for WrestleMania to recoup the dollars lost by having the event in a smaller setting. Your average wrestling fan won’t be able to afford tickets at such prices, and it would be a shame to leave them out in the cold. I know that WrestleMania has a tradition where every 10 years it’s at the Garden, but to hell with tradition. WWE has grown enormously in the last 10 years, and they should get as big a crowd as possible for the Showcase of the Immortals.

Personally, I’d love to attend WrestleMania 29 at MetLife Stadium, but I don’t think that’s possible. I’ve been to three of the Big Four PPVs. I was literally in the last row for SummerSlam 98 at MSG. For Royal Rumble 2000, I was in the middle of the arena. For Survivor Series 2011, I was in the 5th row. I’ve built up this idea in my head that at WrestleMania, I need to be in the first four rows, ideally ringside, with Awesome Ladybug Girl. Something tells me the old wallet won’t be able to handle it. Ah well. I’ll get there one day.

The reason for Raquel Diaz’s (aka Shaul Guerrero’s) profile on WWE NXT being taken down is that she reportedly asked for her release from her contract, and the company granted it. Guerrero, the daughter of Eddie and Vickie Guerrero, signed with the company in October 2010 and was considered to be a good talker and decent worker.

Again, this being Internet Wrestling Newz, there came out a seemingly contradictory report a few days later…

Shaul Guerrero’s WWE status is unknown at this time. While there were rumors that she was released last week, word is that she is still under a WWE contract. Guerrero has left WWE developmental, and gone home, but the WWE is hopeful that she just needs time off and will eventually return.

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Man, talk about bad timing. The first part of this news bit came out the same day my column last week was posted, where I hoped for a Vickie/Dolph/Shaul love triangle angle. Ah well. I don’t know a thing about the girl, so good luck to her, whatever she decides to do.

Following John Cena’s public divorce and recent injuries, there has been more talk backstage about finding the next “top guy” for WWE, someone that Cena could pass the torch to.

The general feeling is that the next guy should be in his mid-20s right now. CM Punk is 33, a heel and also doesn’t have the look WWE wants for the top guy

Sheamus has the look and is liked by the “right people,” but he is 35, the same age as Cena right now.

As reported some time back, many believe who ever is picked as the next “top guy” will be the last hand picked star by Vince McMahon.

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Every good company plans for the future. Having the success of WWE rest upon one man’s shoulders isn’t good Risk planning, so it does my heart good to see that they are at least thinking about the next big Superstar. There’s a lot of elements involved to becoming a top guy: There’s look, charisma, wrestling ability and the support of management. Arguably, the least important aspect of a top Superstar is wrestling ability. Many of the biggest names of all time weren’t spectacular wrestlers. Hulk Hogan, the biggest name EVER in Sports Entertainment, is a shining example of this. Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, even post-neck injury Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn’t known for their 5-star matches.

To me, the most important elements of a Superstar are charisma and support of management. And 9 times out of 10, the former will lead to the latter. Let’s take a look at my Top 5 “Next John Cenas” that are known to me:

5) Antonio Cesaro – 31 years old – He’s young, has a good look and a decent amount of charisma. Key word being “decent.” Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard he’s done great things in the indies, but 99% of the people watching don’t know that. Winning the US Title shows that they are ready to back him for now, but Cesaro has to do something memorable to make it to the next level.

4) Dean Ambrose – 26 years old – He’s the youngest of the bunch, has a boatload of charisma and from what I understand is pretty good in the ring as well. His angle with Foley fizzled, which has held him back a bit, but look for this guy to break through quickly.

3) Kofi Kingston – 31 years old – Kofi would be my personal #1 pick. People love this high-flyer and he showed he has the chops on the mic when he destroyed Randy Orton’s racecar (remember that?) He could quickly recover from the years and start-and-stop pushes to break through. Plus, he would reverse the abysmal trend that WWE’s black champions have had over the last 10 years. All it would take is for management to trust him with a solid run.

2) Dolph Ziggler – 32 years old – Everyone seems to think that this guy is the 2nd coming of Shawn Michaels. I can see it, he’s not quite there yet, but I can see it. The man has a good look, has above average charisma and is currently Mr. Money in the Bank, so you can do the math on that one. Again, he’s someone that has suffered from start-and-stop pushes, but look for that to change if he successfully cashes in the briefcase.

1) Ryback – 30 years old – Jeez, Ryback is a year younger than me? I’m at that phase in my life where all the famous people on the rise are younger than me. Not good. Anyway, this guy looks like a freaking monster. You take one look at him in the airport and you know he’s a wrestler. His unstable intensity is oddly compelling, and his undefeated streak shows that the powers-that-be are fully behind him. Toss in the fact that over the last 2 weeks he’s confronted the WWE Champion twice, and it’s easy to say he’s a top contender for the crown.

Who are your Top 5 “Next John Cenas?” Not the people you WANT to be the next John Cena, but the people you think will wind up being the next John Cena.

A fan Tweeted CM Punk recently, noting that if he wanted to get “real heat” he should change his theme music. Punk responded with the following…

“[This] is an example of what is wrong with fans today. You know cute words like “segment” and “heat” but you don’t know what it means. How many stars is this tweet? Two thumbs down to the #genpop”

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Man, CM Punk irritates me to no end. This is why I don’t follow him on Twitter. I get that a lot of the people tweeting him are probably trolls and/or idiots, but there’s no need to attack the people that pay his salary. He also acted like this when he was a face, so it’s not like he’s doing this to keep up his heel persona.

I’m sure it must annoy wrestlers to no end when people try to sound “insidery,” but who cares? Just ignore the tweet if you don’t like it. The worst part is that the fan was right – people have been conditioned to cheer when Cult of Personality hits. Changing the music isn’t a requirement, but it sure would help separate babyface Punk from heel Punk. Even after aligning with Heyman, attacking Foley and berating JR, Punk STILL gets cheers when his music starts.

By Punk’s logic, he should stop saying “it’s clobberin’ time,” because he’s never worked in comics and has no right to use the lingo. He also should never criticize “real” athletes for screwing up in a game. Oh, and he’s not allowed to say a movie sucked, because he’s never written, produced or directed a movie. He also can’t criticize politicians because he can’t possibly understand the pressures of holding an elected office.

Pompous douche.

THE AWESOME LADYBUG GIRL’S RECAP OF THE 9/28 SMACKDOWN

Quick history for first time readers: Awesome Ladybug Girl is the wrestling name my 5-year old daughter, Victoria, gave herself after we started watching wrestling at her insistence. Her favorite Superstars are Sheamus and Rey Mysterio, with her least favorite being Daniel Bryan. Though it has become very obvious to me that her heart really belongs to Dolph Ziggler, whom she has dubbed “shake-a-butt guy.” During this feature, I watch SmackDown with Victoria and document her questions & reactions for your reading pleasure. And so, without further ado…

THE AWESOME LADYBUG GIRL RECAPS THE 9/28 SMACKDOWN!

Today you will witness the debut of the CRANKY Ladybug Girl. We watched SmackDown after she played an intense game of soccer as part of her league. The good news is that Victoria has emerged as a real leader on her team, putting everything she has and more into each game, and has quickly become one of, if not the, MVP of the team. The bad news is that she’s tired and CRANKY for a few hours after each game. It was during this miserable window that we watched Smackdown, so keep that in mind when reading the recap.

Awesome Ladybug Girl’s Reaction to Big Show: “Eeeewwwww!”

She doesn’t want her favorite wrestler Sheamus to wrestle the Big Show because she thinks Sheamus will lose. Uh oh. (And while we’re on the topic, is anyone else irritated that Sheamus has been acting like a racist bully while all the Big Show wants is to be taken seriously? The heel/face roles have been reversed. Sheamus making Jewish and Mexican jokes doesn’t make him a face, it makes him an a**hole. It makes me want the Big Show to win).

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The WWE’s selling of the brogue kick as a dangerous move has worked, because when the Big show said he’s the one man who can beat Sheamus, Victoria exclaimed “He can?! Even against the brogue kick?!”

She forgot Alberto Del Rio’s name. Way to make an impression, Bertie.

She laughed at Santino’s walk to the ring. Later on she asked “How come he (Santino) has a silly face?”

Awesome Ladybug Girl still giggles at suplexes. This must be known.

During the Kane/Bryan diner sketches, she asked “is his (Kane’s) name really Gerald?”

In a bit of sad news, she correctly called Booker T by his real name and not the “Booger T” name I’ve grown to love. I’m hoping it was a one-time mistake.

She noticed the pink ropes and the Susan Komen logo on the ramp. I had to explain breast cancer to her, which was unexpected. I think I did an okay job.

She really, really wants to see a cage/cell match. I cannot emphasize this enough. When she saw past recaps from cell matches she started acting possessed, yelling “I NEED TO SEE THE MATCH WITH THE FENCE!”

I also had to explain what surgery was due to Cena’s elbow being in a sling. Jeez, SmackDown is giving her a real medical education today. It’s for the best as I discovered she thought that people who went into hospitals automatically died. Probably avoided some trauma by clearing up that one.

During the Zack Ryder vs Wade Barrett match, she got very frustrated by Ryder: “he’s not even doing anything to him! Stop fooling around and just beat him!” This is where things got cranky. Victoria asked whom I thought would win. I picked Barrett and she picked Ryder, which made things interesting. When Barrett won, she got furious, yelling AT ME “How do you always know who’s going win?! Tell me! You watched it last night you little poofart, didn’t you?!” No, I know because Zack freaking Ryder ain’t beating Wade Barrett in the middle of his comeback tour. Awesome Ladybug Girl doesn’t know about jobbers or pushes, so in her mind the good guy has a legitimate shot at winning every match. Ah, the days of innocence…

During MizTV, Victoria laughed when Sheamus swiped the mic from Miz. Once she heard about Foley’s upcoming kids’ book she asked to get it. After all, it combines two of her favorite things – Christmas and wrestling!

When the Miz pissed off Sheamus, the heavyweight champ scowled. Victoria asked “does that look like a brogue kick face to you?”

When Dolph Ziggler (aka “Shake-a-butt” guy) arrived on the scene, Victoria feigned disgust, yelling “I can’t look! I can’t look!” Meanwhile, she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

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As a test of loyalty, I asked Awesome Ladybug Girl “if Sheamus and Shake-a-butt guy fought, who would you want to win?” Her answer? “Uhhh…you know…. Sheamus,” which she said while staring lovingly at Ziggler the entire time. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

During the tag match, Victoria picked the Usos to win while I picked the Rhodes Scholars. After the Rhodes Scholars won, she got upset because I’m “always right” and the bad guys kept winning all night. She has a point, the heels were on top all night, which drove her crazy. But still, who over the age of 5 would pick the Usos over Rhodes Scholars?

By the point of Ryback vs Tensai she was disillusioned. “The bad guys always win.” I asked her who she thought would win. I gave her a hint, saying “this good guy has never ever lost a match (as Ryback).” That didn’t help. She was so dismayed that she was convinced Tensai would win. Even when Ryback won, she was still annoyed because she called the wrong winner. By now she was so tired and annoyed that she got quiet for most of the show.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if a wrestler threw another wrestler onto the people and the people had to catch the wrestler?” When I told her that this happens from time to time, she couldn’t believe it. “I have to go see the wrestlers alive!” (Alive, not live).

When Del Rio attacked Orton, Victoria didn’t give a sh*t. It’s amazing how little she cares about Randy Orton. This is consistent – every time Orton is around, she gets a “who cares?” attitude. It made me realize that Orton has been living off of his Evolution/Legacy glory days the last year or two, doing very little to win new fans.

During the Randy Orton/Big Show match, Victoria yelled “He’s hitting him in the boo boo!” See, even a five year old gets ring psychology!

And that’s the end of it. Victoria’s heelish tendencies are starting to come out, but I blame the soccer game for that one.

YOU’RE IN FOR A REAL TWEET

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SIGNING OFF

That’ll do it for this week, folks. Make sure to leave a comment or two to brighten my day. Let’s meet up again this time next week, shall we?

Hasta Jueves,

This is Sean.

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Sean Kelly

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