RantWars - Week.5
Posted by Jay Bower on 06.13.2003
w/ Special Guest Eric S., Five remaining contestants discuss elements of WCW that should be integrated into modern day WWE.
Five weeks ago, a challenge was issued to 411Mania readers to step up and carve a place of their own at one of the greatest websites in existence. Step up they did with hundreds of entries flooding in from all over the globe. Jay Bower, along with a panel of the Internet's finest wrestling columnists, narrowed the field down to nine elite potential columnists who would wage war for a spot of their own in the 411Mania family.
Last week, we once again received a record number of votes. Unfortunately Allen Turner --a nice kid and a good writer who had to deal with a parent in the hospital while RantWars was going on --was eliminated by you, the readers last week as about 30% of votes were enough to do his Shark Boy entry in. This week, the field of five becomes three as we move in to the final stages of RantWars!
RANTWARSweek.5
Hello there and thank you for once again joining us for RantWars, 411Mania's interactive search for our sites newest columnist. I'm Jay Bower and once again I'll be your host as the five remaining contestants in RantWars offer up their thoughts on this weeks topic. Shane Harrison, Dave Schilling, Sean McKissick, Chris Sharp and Adam Pritchard have all advanced in to round four thanks to you, the 411Mania reader. Once again, hundreds of you voted last week and we appreciate your continued interaction throughout the selection process.
As our bold faced, italicized narrator informed you, last week's casualty was Allen Turner, a finalist who's earlier entries included "Enter the Shark" and "Rocky III". As is tradition, a special guest celebrity from the internet wrestling community has stepped in to give his take on the writer eliminated most recently. This weeks guest, fellow Smarks alumnus and current 411Mania writer Eric S. Eric is amongst the most consistent and hardest working members of this fine website and was amongst the first to offer his expertise to contestants, so without further delay, I turn the stage over to you my friend.
Eric S.
Memo To Mr. Allen Turner:
Congratulations. You've received a double honor. You've been chosen by a jury of your peers to be a loser. You've also had the great and good fortune to have me explain to you why you are a loser.
Quite frankly, Mr. Turner, I was quite surprised you survived the last round after that incoherent Hogan love-fest. No, let me correct myself. I was shocked that you survived two weeks ago. You should have been horsewhipped for misspelling Cyndi Lauper's name, and I'm certain there are a great many gay men in our audience who'd like to find you and pummel your face into pulp for saying that Martha Stewart was aimed at their demographic.
In fact, your column two weeks ago should have eliminated you for one simple reason: WWE does have a demographic they attempt to appeal to. In the trade, it's called Males 18-24. It's no secret, Mr. Turner. It's the one they've publicly stated they're going after. It's the demographic that Viacom wants them to go after. So that column was a complete waste of space, and that's the ultimate sin of a columnist.
However, you survived, you made it through another round, but karma has finally come up and bit you on the ass. Big-time.
Let's start from the beginning. Your column, Mister Turner, is in italics, my comments in plain except for emphasis where necessary:
"Dark Horse" n – (slang) 1. One who achieves unexpected support and success as a political candidate, typically during a party's convention. 2. An unexpectedly successful entrant, as in a horse race 3. Publisher of comics currently noted for Buffyverse titles and Hellboy.
We’ll be using definition #2, as I doubt Hellboy will be in the ring and Gray Davis faces too much of a battle in Midwest to even be able to show up at the Democratic convention let alone Wrestlemania.
And here's where you died. You gave the column a horrible lead. The Dictionary Definition Lead...one of the oldest cliches in the book, complete with the old Fake Definition At The End. If you do a Dictionary Definition Lead, one of the requirements is that the Fake Definition At The End should have something to do with the subject matter of the column. You decided not to follow that guideline.
You could have got away with it had your Fake Definition At The End involved something in mainstream consciousness. But Dark Horse Comics, a company that was irrelevant a decade and a half ago inside the comic book subculture? It just makes your lead more insubstantial than it already is.
Then you compounded your sin by going cutesy. Starting a column with a joke is all well and good. The thing is, kid, you have got to make sure that joke is...well, funny. Hell, I'll even settle for coherent. Take a gander at this line: Gray Davis faces too much of a battle in Midwest to even be able to show up at the Democratic convention let alone Wrestlemania. What does that mean? "faces too much of a battle in Midwest"? What does the governor of California have to do with Wrestlemania? Were you actually expecting someone to chuckle at this? It's incomprehensible and it has no frame of reference to make it funny.
So, you started your column with a boring, cliched, sloppily-executed lead (bad grammar is always a sin in writing, especially in a lead; it makes you look like a complete retard to the readership), and then proceeded to destroy that lead by botching the attempted humor that would have at least salvaged it in a partial manner. Dark Horse Comics and Gray Davis does not a compelling lead make. You've already turned off your readership.
Let's continue with the body:
I should tell you my qualifications for Dark Horse status. First, it can’t be anybody currently with the “E” in any capacity.
You've just admitted that you're going to be writing about someone that a vast majority of the audience has never heard of. You have already dug your hole. You now need to explain to the audience who this guy is and why he's so spiffy-neato that you're going to devote column space to him, and you're going to have to go into detail. If you're not prepared to do that, kill the column, refocus, and start over.
Nobody with the fed can be considered a true dark horse when Gowen (who is good, don’t get me wrong) can be placed in a headlining feud and they are calling people up from development right and left. Yes this goes against the “HHH Theory of Mass Backholding,” but I’m crazy like that.
Apples, meet oranges. Calling people up and having people hit Keith's Glass Ceiling are two completely different things. And then you haze the situation even more by introducing a third element: Tenacious Z, whose position in a headlining feud has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with exploitation, both of his disabled status and of the audience's feelings toward people with disabilities. Your criterion is, therefore, nullified due to all-around irrelevance.
What this tells the audience is that you're going outside WWE to show off your knowledge of wrestling in a high-handed manner. The only way you can do this without alienating the audience any more than they have been is to provide them with as much knowledge of your choice as you can, in terms that they will be able to understand. You are forced to switch the column from "inform" mode to "educate" mode. And, let's face it, a lot of people don't like to read "educate" mode columns unless they have a big dose of entertainment included. Modesty forbids me to cite an IWC writer with good skills in doing that.
This also precludes heavyweights, as outside Gowen and the “classic” wrestlers, almost every heavyweight they have brought in has been their own development talent.
Now you have the audience shaking its collective head and wondering if you've watched Raw at any time in the last year (you can make a case for Smackdown being this way, but definitely not Raw). However, you may be right in your assertion. If you have memories of those magnificent Scott Steiner/Bill Goldberg matches in OVW, you should have shared them with us. Otherwise, your statement comes off as asinine and ill-informed. A columnist must never, ever come across as ill-informed.
I also consider any title match a headlining spot
.
Tell that to Booker and Christian. Two solid upper-mid-carders, fighting for a belt, and they're fourth from the top of the Bad Blood card, with two of the three matches above them having no belt at stake. Those two matches don't even involve stips or gimmicks. Your assumption is therefore flawed.
My fantasy-booking pick is Sharkboy.
I've had 20th level clerics with less Turn Undead skill than you just demonstrated. This column was already deceased. You're just eradicated it with those words.
You went outside the parameters of the column. Please note the topic you were asked to cover: "Which dark horse of the American wrestling scene would be most likely to headline Wrestlemania XXI given the proper push?" Did Bower say anything about fantasy booking? Did Bower even ask you who you'd like to see headline WM21? No. He asked you to write a column about who would have a realistic chance of headlining WM21 given the proper push. For some reason, you decided to deviate, just like the two moronic Brits that are left. Your biggest sin is that you mentioned fantasy booking, which the moronic Brits didn't. Repeat after me, oogums: "Fantasy" "Booking" "Sucks". And columns based on fantasy booking suck. You've crippled your entire argument in favor of Shark Boy with two little words.
You also go through a number of paragraphs about Shark Boy being on WWE's radar screen. Well, no shit he is. He's with HWA. HWA is a WWE affiliate and feeder, something that is known to any wrestling fan with Internet access. He's part of the fucking organization, dimbulb! And guess what? That kills your "First, it can’t be anybody currently with the “E” in any capacity" statement, because he is with them, only in their minor leagues.
But you're a game little trouper. You try to recover from this debacle as best you can. But just when the audience least expects it, you go back to Rectal Focus with statements like these:
He had a dark matches with Kanyon and Nowinski. These are not two people they just toss anybody in with. Uh...that's exactly who they toss anybody in with: midcarders with strong wrestling skills and high levels of SE ability. That's how you measure a particular wrestler's skillset in those two areas: put them up against guys like Kanyon and Nowinski.
Sharkboy is also making it known he wants to be with the WWE. Every employer wants people that would be excited to work for the company. Not true in the real world, and not true in wrestling, especially when you're someone in Shark Boy's situation, for whom a full-time job in WWE would be a promotion from his current position. This makes him a suck-up and an ambitious little shit, and lots of bosses don't want either of those around.
The Obnoxious Fantasy Booking Interludes are, as you say, obnoxious. Your job in this column was to explain how a wrestler of your choice could be a headliner at WM21, not book it for him. Don't overstep your mandate.
And then there's the biggest sin of all: not paying attention to detail. Again, read the column question: "Which dark horse of the American wrestling scene would be most likely to headline Wrestlemania XXI given the proper push?" Please note the bold emphasis. Now, look at a couple of your statements:
Currently, the WWE is going on a cruiserweight tear. They are running through them like, oh who the hell cares, say the A-train. Noble, Tajiri, Hardy, Kidman. How many cruiserweights have hung around long enough to build a meaningful feud? Hardy’s going to move on, and when Ultimo runs his course they need more cruiserfodder. Enter the Shark in time for Wrestlemania.
Hurricane’s been having problems as of late. Every good superhero needs a sidekick. Many masked wrestlers try out – but only one saves Hurricane form an attack by, oh who cares, say tag champs Big Show and A-Train. Together they fight for truth, freedom, and the titles at Wrestlemania.)
This implies an immediate agenda, something that would culminate, oh, next March. At Wrestlemania 20. Not Wrestlemania 21, which was what you were assigned to write about. Therefore, you wasted our time answering the wrong question.
And then there's the close. A close needs to summarize your arguments in favor of your proposition. All you say is that you hope you've enticed us enough to check him out. There's one problem: you never gave the audience anything enticing about him. All you've done is blather about fantasy booking and the spot appearances that he's made on shows that most of your audience can't/won't watch (International Heat? Please.). If I knew nothing about Shark Boy, all your column told me was the following:
1)He's a cruiser.
2)He has a goofy shark gimmick.
3)He's had some spot WWE appearances.
4)He's in HWA.
I don't know anything about his style, his moves, even his finisher, from what you wrote. You've given the audience jack shit to go on about WHY you feel he should be headlining a WM, other than the most superficial aspects imaginable. That is insulting the audience by demeaning their ability to make a judgment based on concrete facts. You actually think that your audience completely buys into the Vince McMahon Propaganda Machine and are merely sheep who are attracted to nice, shiny things. Guess what? They don't and they aren't. Don't treat them that way.
It's even more insulting to someone who's been following the scene. I've seen Shark Boy wrestle live. I thought that he was damn good. I thought that he could go places given the right circumstances. The problem was that I saw him at Pillman 2000, almost three years ago. Back then, we were all convinced that, given some sound judgment by the powers that be, by mid-2003, Shark Boy and Reckless Youth would be stalwarts of the WCW cruiser division, giving us *** 1/2+ matches with Rey-Rey on a regular basis. Reckless Youth is nowhere to be seen, WCW is dead, Rey-Rey's giving us *** 1/2+ matches on a regular basis without benefit of said companionship, and Shark Boy is still in HWA. Did you give us people who know the story any reason to believe things might change, other than some speculative spot work and that asinine fantasy booking?
So, let's summarize:
You wrote a column in which you needed to provide heavy amounts of information to back up a claim. Instead of providing that information, you gave us fantasy booking scenarios.
You answered a question using a set of assumptions which are either too simplistic, too strict, or just outright illogical, and then based an entire column around this warped reasoning.
You told us the subject of the column was a good wrestler without providing reasons for said conclusion, other than the fact that he's got a mask and a hand sign the audience can easily do. That cuts it in lucha libre, but not here in El Norte, yanqui.
You wrote a column about Wrestlemania 20 that was supposed to be about Wrestlemania 21.
You tried to use cutesy and/or self-deprecating humor to cover up the fact that the column was at best dull and at worst insulting to the audience.
You demonstrated a distinct lack of awareness about things going on in wrestling. Not backstage stuff, but on-camera, absolutely basic things that a minimum of observation could have provided.
You played fast and loose with facts, especially the fact that the person you're presenting as an up-and-comer has been up-and-coming for longer than a seventeen-year-old who's been overdosed with Viagra and physically restrained from touching himself.
And most importantly, you bored the audience by writing in a meandering fashion, barely focusing on your assertions (as warped as they were, I can understand not being able to get a bead on them). Writing is the same as acting and pro wrestling, oogums: make them love you, make them hate you, but don't bore them.
Given the evidence of the three columns you foisted on this contest, Mr. Turner, here's my advice: never write a fucking thing ever again, not even for a whiteboard. You've demonstrated that you can make no one care about your opinions or can entertain anyone with your writing talent. Therefore, you have no hope in the IWC. Leave, and never darken our doorstep again.
Thanks once again to Eric, his efforts in putting out back-to-back news updates and then having this in my inbox the next day is commendable.
Now, it is time to turn the stage over to the true stars of RantWars, the five remaining contestants! After a brief review of the rules, Week.5 of RantWars will officially begin.
The premise of RantWars is simple. You, the 411 reader will carefully read the unique thoughts regarding last week's topic posed by the six RantWars finalists throughout the duration of RantWars - Week.5. After reading each contestant's column, you will receive instructions on how to vote off your TWO least favorite writers. You may vote twice, but both votes must be for different contestants. Those breaking this rule will have their votes nullified. The order in which entries appear coincides with the chronological order that they were sent, with the earliest arriving entries appearing first. The following class of competitors all have the skills to become a great presence here at 411Mania, so vote carefully.
Now that we have all other things out of the way, Let RantWars - Week 4 Begin!
RANTWARSweek.5 topic
" Popular opinion says that World Wrestling Entertainment is turning in to World Championship Wrestling. Now that WCW and its history are under the McMahon umbrella, name one element of the former promotion that SHOULD be brought back?"
Sailing into the Unknown.
There was only one word I could think of to describe the two week long angle that culminated with Mick Foley’s appointment as referee for the Bad Blood Main Event: “anticlimactic.” It was as overt and obvious as the nose on Triple H’s face. There was no surprise, no shock, no “Whoa” moment that all of the sudden made you interested in the Passion Play uncoiling before your eyes. If the show were a ship, it would have sunk right then and there. We, as an audience were deprived of one of the most thrilling parts of any drama, suspense. It just…happened as it so often does these days. We all knew Mick would ref the Hell in a Cell match, but in 1995, did we all know that Lex Luger would be on the first Nitro?
Eric Bischoff had nothing to lose when he created Nitro. WCW was a second-rate company that had never made a profit. Challenging the World Wrestling Federation was as improbable as improbable gets. No one gave him a chance. In what wound up as the greatest swerve of all, through sheer balls, he created the single greatest achievement in WCW’s history and the only thing worth saving about it today.
Before Nitro, wrestling promoters were content to tape 4 shows a night in front of the same crowd, with listless jobber matches and an angle progression or two. They were slick studio productions, often times in front of audiences at amusement parks. Pro wrestling television in the mid ‘80’s to early ‘90’s was as close to a Saturday Morning Cartoon as real people could get. The rules were simple, nothing ever went wrong, the stakes were never too high, and everything went by a careful format. Wrestling TV was remarkably plastic. I never noticed when I was younger, but as age crept up, so did my cynicism about this artificial product being foisted upon me. When Nitro debuted in September of 1995 though, the rules changed.
Nitro was live, and I don’t just mean, “not taped.” It had a pulse, a heartbeat; it was a living breathing professional wrestling event every week. Matches had time to develop, titles could and would change hands, and anyone could show up and at anytime. In comparison, Monday Night Raw was as dead as the Undertaker. Nitro did things that had never been seen in the genre before. Lex Luger and Ted Dibiase could appear on RAW one week and Nitro the next, without warning. Rick Rude could even be on both on the same night. The only rule during Nitro’s run became there were no rules.
As the show evolved it continued to become stronger and more compelling. The nWo redefined the heel stable, cruiserweights changed the way people perceived the smaller worker, and wrestling became less Saturday Morning Cartoon and more Soap Opera for Men. McMahon and RAW were forced to adopt a similar style, and eventually outdid their rivals. Steve Austin, The Rock, DX, and Mick Foley were the talented performers WCW lacked. The WWF’s workers were better entertainers than 90% of those in WCW and that other 10% was used poorly at every turn. It was inevitable that the WWF would succeed. They had the talent and the right people molding that talent. The thing is, McMahon didn’t innovate or invent, he imitated. Nitro experimented with the genre, breaking with convention and finding something different. Vince McMahon does not know how to do this and probably never has.
What I advocate is not changing RAW’s name to Nitro. Names mean nothing, logos are window dressing, and music is icing on a visual cake. What I want and what I miss is a spirit of rebellion, a change of pace, a new and fresh view of an age-old form of entertainment. I don’t miss Nitro as much as I missed the “idea” of Nitro. I want to be shocked, excited, appalled, fulfilled, and enthralled all at the same time. I want a TV show that leaves me wanting more, not wondering how badly everything’s been screwed up. I want to be so engrossed in the story that I’m not constantly thinking about how I could write a better show. Most of all, I don’t want to know ahead of time that Mick Foley is coming back to RAW.
There was no electricity when Mick Foley returned to WWE on Monday, no aura of a special moment. His promo was lackluster and incoherent, needing Triple H to take him where he needed to go. His passion was nonexistent, his mind somewhere else. It was almost as though he was the living embodiment of the show itself, sailing on the open sea with a leak in the hull, course unknown. The funny thing is, the audience knew exactly the course. As a matter of fact, they were already on the mainland, waiting impatiently for Foley, Hunter, Nash, and Michaels to find their way on shore. What was once revolutionary is now commonplace. What was once unthinkable is now thought of ahead of time and picked apart before the show even begins. Professional wrestling has a choice, much like it did in the fall of 1995, it can either stay the course, satisfying the same fans it always has, or it can risk it all, journeying into uncharted territory, where the riches are beyond their wildest dreams.
Dave Schilling : Fresno, California, 18 years of age.
Previous Entries: "Vince McMahon Must Die", "The Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon Should Get Married", "It Runs in the Family"
Vivan los Luchadores.
WCW was not all that good at a lot of things. For those who may have been confused by the structural ambiguity of the last sentence, I will rephrase: WCW was really lousy at a lot of things. And now for those who may have felt that the first two sentences were somewhat lacking in necessary intensity, I will rephrase once again: WCW sucked at pretty much everything they did. Seriously. Their booking sucked, their talent relations sucked, their video editing, their marketing, the lighting crews, their backroom snack table, all of it, sucked sucked sucked. To express it just a bit more cohesively, WCW was just plain bad with regards to virtually every meaningful element that can define a wrestling organization.
And therein lies the rub: while the meaningful aspects of the business may have not been WCW’s forte, they more than excelled in at least one meaningless aspect of the game which the WWE desperately needs today. More specifically, WCW had a knack for putting on engaging, exciting matches than would prove to have virtually no significance in the long term. The secret to their success? Los luchadores. If you could count on Monday Nitro for nothing else, you could on it to start out every single show with at least six crazed Mexicans in masks flinging themselves around the ring, doing absolutely inhumane things to their own bodies and each others’, all for the sake of entertaining the fans.
And entertain us they did. As a die-hard WWF fan throughout almost the entire shelf life of WCW (relatively brief though it may have been), there was very little that could make me change the channel from RAW, but if I knew that Psicosis, Blitzkrieg, and Juventud Guerrera were hurling themselves around the ring in a triple-threat, Mexican-death-match-rules, tequila-on-a-pole, Rey del Mundo match, nothing short of nuclear war or Triple H jobbing could keep my remote from flying to TNT. And I was thrilled to do so. There were times that I definitely felt that we, as a people, could be happier and more productive if only our streets were constantly filled with brightly-clad Latino wrestlers performing topes con hilo con salsa picante for our pleasure. As that was not to be, I was more than happy to watch them on my television screen.
But sunsets fade, children grow old, and WCW slowly withered away to an ignoble end, taking los luchadores with it. I’ve been without my luchador fix for some time now, and have found only one brief respite in the form of a single show I was able to see during my time in Mexico City (an experience which I thoroughly recommend: if the plentiful wrestling masks, the drunken crowd constantly chanting profanity in Spanish, and the colorful yet controversial Mexico v. El Salvador feud aren’t enough for you, then consider going for the tacos alone. Oh, and the Giant Silva was there too, for those who care about that sort of thing).
And that is just one of the reasons why the WWE needs to incorporate a luchador division now.
Luchadores would go a long way toward filling the holes that pepper the WWE like so much swiss cheese right now. First and foremost, they would provide an almost inexhaustible source of jobbers, an area in which the WWE is sorely lacking. Instead of jobbing Lance Storm week in and week out, start sticking los luchadores in that spot. Goldberg needs somebody to squash? Why not Hector Garza? The FBI need to cripple somebody to gain some credibility? The Silver King is available! And when you’ve got some airtime to kill, instead of Rikishi and Torrie v. Jamie Noble and Nidia, how about just throwing a few Villanos out there to watch them go to work? The resulting match will be just as meaningless, and a lot more entertaining.
If Vince needs an appeal to his business sensibilities to be convinced, he can just remember this: los luchadores work cheap and, best of all, are supremely expendable. Remember the 8-man (10-man? 12-man? Does anyone remember?) Luchador Hardcore match from Nitro a few years back? The match was an instant classic in terms of “Holy Crap!” value alone, and resulted in every single participant getting put on the injured shelf. And what happened? Were all of WCW’s main event programs thrown out of whack? Did the show’s ratings plummet with this sudden loss of its stars? Absolutely nothing happened! Because the match and its participants, though immensely entertaining, were ultimately meaningless.
And precisely is the genius of the concept. The fans at home are drawn to end product, not to the wrestlers themselves, thus making the individual wrestlers expendable. I guarantee you that El Dandy will not suddenly start making a fuss backstage demanding more money and creative control. And if he does, so what? Villano Número Cuatro is more than ready to take his place.
And lest we forget, sometimes, just once every so often, one of these luchadores actually gets over. And that’s why the 175-pound Rey Mysterio gets more pops on one episode of Smackdown than the Big Show gets in a year. It doesn’t have to stop there, y’know. Is there really anyone out there who wouldn’t sacrifice a few minutes of Scott Steiner to see La Parka dancing again? Isn’t the world waiting for the inevitable grudge match between Hurricane Helms and Huracán Ramirez? Escuchará el senor McMahon a la voz de la gente? Only time will tell.
Sean McKissick : Provo, Utah, Twenty-Two years of age.
Previous Entries : "Bringing Fans Out of the Closet", "Foley Does the Impossible", "A New Hope".
The People's Title.
With the loss of WCW came the loss of many things. Wrestling lost its major competitor and all of its best elements. Who can forget Flair vs. Steamboat, or Wargames or the general feel of Nitro? The good times of wrestlings second brightest star still linger in my mind, barely faded by the mists of time. An aspect of WCW I will forever savour is the Television Title. It was one of WCWs most brilliant ideas. So to Vince McMahon I plead, put aside your prejudices and reintroduce this, the People’s Title.
It was 1998. WCW beginning it’s waning years, but in my mind WCW had one thing over on the WWF. The very thing the WWF prided itself on was WCWs advantage. Unpredictability. They had themselves a title that anyone could win. A title that could change hands tonight, any night. A title defended nearly every week against the rising stars of the company. A sought after belt for the little guy. WCWs holding down and political games encouraged this and without those conditions then such a unique situation wouldn’t arise. The WWE have seen this fact in the past and tried to recreate it with its feeble Hardcore Title, but just didn’t capture the feel, the aura. Now they have a second chance.
The holders of the TV Title were the underdogs who you hoped would win the big one. I watched overjoyed as Benoit, Booker T and Jericho gained the title. They were wrestlers I loved to watch and in capturing this minor title I hoped it was a sign that maybe, just maybe, they would get a shot at the big time someday. That there was a chance for all who are talented, despite the established order. Booker T embodied that title and after overcoming overwhelming odds against Fit Finlay that fateful April I said that very night that he would win the World Title one day. He went on to become 5-time WCW World Champion. This, in my opinion, was the day that made Booker T, the former underdog lower carder, into a main-eventer for the biggest company in the world. Now here we are in 2003, and who hasn’t wanted the underdog to win the big one?
This unique situation can only prosper under certain conditions. And with the WWE rapidly matching WCWs climate the time is ripe to capitalize. They have the largest collection of talent ever and without a lower card title. The cruiserweight title is serving this purpose, and in doing so has been misused. Another title is needed to match the inflated roster, bursting with lower card talent. Therefore a title is necessary for this growing group. It could be used in a variety of ways, a legitimate title for lower carders, a vanity belt for a lower carder or a tool to elevate new stars from their ranks. The King of the Ring is now gone so what to do to elevate new stars, especially on Smackdown?
Smackdown is the brand that needs this belt. With the IC title returning to RAW it no longer needs another belt and Smackdown needs it. Personally, I would have the belt defended every TV show, not PPV. This gives the chance for longer reigns of the other belts, gives them more meaning by contrast and the public are longer impatient to see titles defended. Smackdown title defenses would mean something next to weekly TV Title defenses. And the people it could help get over and elevate. Kanyon, Lance Storm, Spanky etc. A title which doesn’t mean all that much but is a people’s title, defended every week. And the angles it could involve. A monster gaining it and destroying all on the way to the World Title or a plucky little cruiserweight who never gives up to name only a few. Exciting possibilities for this could cause new creative juices to ooze out of the WWE.
All small things add up to a whole. This is a small, little meaning title that would disappear eventually. Vince McMahon seems to like destroying every legacy WCW has and to crush its history. He could do that and we could all be amused by it. It gives people a chance to watch TV, not just big shows. People could get excited by this ‘Iron Man’ title, counting the weeks of successful defenses and wondering if this guy will break the record. It doesn’t force Vince to incorporate new stars into major positions, it doesn’t force anyone to change their traditional ways, and it’s just a little thing that could help you sit through post-Heyman Smackdown. A chance of a title change every week and a chance for all the Kanyon’s of this world. A championship of the people, it’s very presence enhancing all other titles prestige. So let Funaki run the gauntlet. Let Matt Hardy defend for weeks. Let the excitement build and let the ratings climb. For buried deep within the well-trodden grave of WCW lies an idea unexploited. Vince has tried nostalgia via Piper and Nash, now try nostalgia another way. Titles don’t get grey hairs, a beer gut or injuries. Title's never get old so let the title return, a People's Title. Give the younger guys a chance and embrace the returning of the championship, a championship for the talented, for the future and for the people.
Shane "12 characters" Harrison : New Zealand
Previous Entries : "How the Mighty Have Fallen", "Hart's War", "Christian's Crusade"
Burning Down the House.
*Disclaimer: Because of Chris Sharp's geographical location and the limited amounts of WCW programming that he was able to receive, we have allowed him so leeway on the topic. Do not weigh his deviation from the topic as a factor when voting.
WCW is mostly a mystery to me. Oh, I know the history of the Monday night wars, and thanks to the joys of Kazaa I’ve seen most of the major matches. But what little WCW programming made it over the pond to the UK was on a channel I couldn’t receive. So I can’t tell you which element of WCW I’d most like to see revived in the WWE, because I just don’t know. Thankfully, the powers that be have given me some leeway, so my alternate company is Ring of Honor.
The core concepts of Ring of Honor are that: Competitors must shake hands before and after their match; no interfering in matches or having others interfere on your behalf; no harming a referee or causing others to harm an official; no sneak attacks. This way, every match should have a clean finish. This is what I’d bring to the WWE. Not for every match on every show, but just for one title.
The US title is back in commission, and this would be an excellent way to use it. Smackdown is already established as the show with a stronger work-rate, and an ‘honorable’ US title would solidify this position, and also help in differentiating the brands.
There can still be shenanigans with the cruiserweights, run-ins and ref bumps when the main event needs a helping hand, and Cheat to Win! amongst the tag ranks. But I’d like to see an oasis of pure wrestling.
An honorable US title could have Dean Malenko at the helm, behind the scenes, booking the matches and giving masterclasses on ring psychology.
The run of great matches from the Smackdown Six and the standing ovation for the Benoit/Angle match from the Royal Rumble showed the WWE that the fans will respond to pure wrestling with more fervour than they show for almost anything outside a visit from the Rock.
The talent is there. Benoit, Matt Hardy, Rhyno, and Edge when he returns. I’d bring a handful of wrestlers over from RAW – Val Venis, Maven; and try to resurrect Lance Storms career after the Goldberg squash. Tajiri would have a place to call home once Chavo returns, and Haas & Benjamin would make fine additions should Team Wangle ever split. OVW has wrestlers who have the technical savvy but not the look or the charisma that the WWE seems to plump for, and this could be their route to the Show.
The Hardcore title ran its course, and was dutifully dumped, but while it was there it gave the WWE the opportunity to shine the spotlight on wrestlers who would otherwise have been over-looked. A rejuvenated US title could bring the same benefits, without the risks. The recent rash of injuries has the WWE looking for ways to reduce the risk their stars endure. A midcard dominated by a lack of chair-shots, table bumps, and gimmick matches could be the key to the safety of their workforce. It could also be the savior of house shows.
The WWE needs to recapture the frisson of attending a non-televised event. The honorable US title should be defended at every house show. Once in a while, a title change would take place at one. If there’s a chance of something memorable happening at a house show or TV taping, people are more likely to go. The recent ring explosion is embedded in the minds of all who saw it live. A title change at the end of a full-on wrestling clinic would have the same impact.
I’ve never understood non-title matches. Why have a champion if he doesn’t defend his title when he wrestles? Every non-title match seems to end in a schmoz of some kind, whether it’s a run-in, a ref bump or the judicious use of the handy ringbell or title belt. These do matches do little to enhance the prestige of the title, and while they may increase the heel heat for the champ, the long-term use of this booking technique leads to apathetic fans, and falling house show crowds. The newly revived US title would always be held by a fighting champion. This would increase both the prestige of the title, and the reputation of the wrestler who held it.
This will only work if the WWE were to have the courage of their convictions. It must be tempting to turn to lazy booking, and dump continuity for the sake of an easy out. It was useful in setting up the Christian/Booker T feud, but fans respond to healthy internal logic in booking. A ladder system could alleviate the temptation to go for the quick fix. It would give meaning to otherwise pointless matches on house shows & on Smackdown.
If the crowd responded to the ‘honorable’ US title, the WWE would be able to reward some of their workers for their ability to work, and not just for their malleability at the hands of the creative team. It would improve backstage morale, which would in turn lead to a better all round show. It would give grappling fans a sanctuary from the excesses of Sports Entertainment, and a reason to tune in every week. And the matches would burn down the house.
As the Bitter Guy once said – wrestling, what a crazy concept…
Chris Sharp : London, UK, Twenty Five Years of Age.
Previous Entries : "All in the Family", "And Everyone Stopped Breathing", "The God of Small Things".
Return of the Clash.
WCW was what made me a wrestling fan. Vader and Cactus Jack, The Hollywood Blonds vs. Steamboat and Douglas, those are the days I remember with a smile. Yes, in it's dying days there was a lot of crap (Pinata on a pole, Judy Bagwell, Oklahoma), so is there anything from them that could help the WWE? Bring back Nitro...Great American Bash? Nah, they're just names now, I doubt anyone would buy the same PPV just because it had a different name. One of the old titles? WWE will have 6 singles titles once the US is brought back, that's plenty. Wargames? That was forever ruined for me after 1998 and the Warrior/Hogan debacle (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're lucky!)
Yes it was pretty tricky to find something about themselves that WCW didn't screw up, but I let my mind wander and found something that seems perfect for the present-day WWE. Think of Flair-Steamboat for 60 minutes, of Flair-Sting for 45, of Steve Austin vs Brian Pillman when they were at their peak. Where could you see all of these? Clash of the Champions baby.
A quick history for those of you who have no idea what that is. In order to mess with Vinnie Mac in retaliation for a PPV power-play he pulled the previous year, the NWA decided to schedule a PPV-quality card at the same time as Wrestlemania IV, but they'd show it for free on TBS. There were 34 more of these at various intervals until they finally finished in the summer of 1997, when, with 12 WCW PPV's every year, there really wasn't any purpose for them.
With WWE now deciding to split PPV's between the brands, I think that the return of the Clash could be a good idea. When Raw has a PPV and Smackdown doesn't, they could run a 2 or 3 hour show Sunday night. I'm not suggesting the dumb idea that they run these head to head with the other brands PPV's, but instead a couple of weeks apart.
There are a number of questions we need to answer to see if these could work. First, with the 2-hour TV shows and no 'squash' matches, is there a need for them. Well, have you even watched the shows? You are lucky to get 40 mins of wrestling out there. The Clash was always a full PPV-style card, with 10 or 20 minute matches being the norm. No corny backstage skits, no cheesy vignettes, focus on the wrestling.
With monthly PPV's already would there be a drop in audience for the real PPV's if these shows started? We only have 12 PPV's now, in 1999 WWE and WCW had 12 PPV's each.. I can't see that adding 24 more hours of free wrestling a year would really make that much difference to the PPV audience. If WWE creative do their job right buliding them, the audience will still be there. For those who think that they need two months to build a storyline properly, I say baloney. 2000 was possibly the best year for the WWE in-ring wise, and we didn’t complain about monthly PPV’s then. If that’s a problem, mix the cards up for these special shows, give us match-ups we don’t expect. One of my favorite clash matches was Flair vs. Bobby Eaton. Not a PPV main event for sure, but a damn good match.
The benefits; first, it gives wrestling fans another reason to watch. Those of us that get sick of the 3 minute matches on Raw will have something to tune into, especially since TNA is becoming increasingly 'Russo-fied'. It gives more wrestlers a chance to shine, and us maybe some more matches we wouldn’t normally see. There are plenty of fans who used to watch wrestling who don’t now. Maybe some of them will tune in for a ‘free’ PPV, and get drawn into the rest of the shows too.
It would also be good for WWE business-wise. We know that eventually they plan to add in more PPV's..... that was the whole point of the roster split in my eyes. This way they get to test the waters without risking as much financially. If these shows pull in 4's in the ratings, chances are that there's a future for the extra PPV's. If the first few pick up the same rating as Heat, then they can scrap the idea without too much embarrassment. Heck, we know they will do 2 or 3 times more than whatever crap Spike TV normally show.
Obviously I don’t know the financial cost of these things, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the extra advertising revenue gained outweighed the cost of taking a camera crew out to the arena with them., the wrestlers are out there already doing a show. If doing it live is too expensive, tape it Saturday and show it Sunday. Taking out Heat those Sundays would mean it’s only 2 hours extra wrestling a week. If it was good, I’m sure most fans would watch.
As far as I can see, this idea would be good for business, could make them more money, could give them extra fans. It would be good for us, more decent wrestling matches on our screens, more variety, same amount of money in our pocket. Who knows, maybe we’ll see it sooner rather than later.
Adam Pritchard: England, 23 years of age.
Previous Entries: "Insulting Our Intelligence", "Return of the Nature Boy", "A Champion to be Proud Of".
And there you have it, five more excellent columns from a very talented group of young writers.
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