wrestling / Columns

The 411 Wrestling Top 5 4.22.13: Week 216 – Top 5 Underrated Promo Guys

April 22, 2013 | Posted by Larry Csonka

Hello everyone and welcome to 411 Wrestling’s Top 5 List. What we are going to is take a topic each week and all the writers here on 411 wrestling will have the ability to give us their Top 5 on said topic, plus up to three honorable mentions.

So, on to this week’s topic…

TOP 5 UNDERRATE DPROMO GUYS

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TONY ACERO
5. Edge – Edge is a vet that doesn’t get his just-due. From benefiting from flash photography to his raunchy sex acts, to the most recent short-haired antics of Edge, he was always really solid on the mic. He made you pay attention and his bulging eyes and off the cuff jokes never seemed forced (like Cena). He kept the intensity high, but never too high, and he invited the audience in whether heel or face.

4. The Undertaker – Sure, the whole “Children of the Night” thing might be a bit outdated, but I am referring to the Biker version of Taker who seemed to really encompass “Texas bad-ass.” We now get a sort of hybrid whenever Taker is on the mic, but when he was heeling it up with his flat top, he was such a dick. Taker got some great boos, and it’s not easy to completely change your character without changing your character, if you know what I mean. The Undertaker’s Biker gimmick lasted longer than I thought possible and was a bright light on Taker’s mic work. If you don’t agree, I’m sure he’d have no trouble makin you famous…

3. Bubba Ray Dudley – Ok, first off, this dude DOES get a lot of love, and that’s why I didn’t rank him higher, but still nowhere near the amount of love that he should get. Bubba has had the crowd in the palm of his hand for YEARS! From his ECW promos that made people want to beat his ass in the parking lot, to his attempts at fixing the damage done to Aces and Eights, he is consistently great. He got over a stuttering gimmick better than Matt Morgan, and is one of the best heel talkers in the business. With his New York slang and bad attitude, Bubba definitely deserves to be on this list.

2. Wade Barrett – I saw this guy do his thing on NXT, and every single time he touched the mic, he had something powerful to say. I don’t think we’ve seen this side of him on the big shows quite yet, but there is a reason one of his moves is called the Winds of Change, and that’s due to a promo he had on NXT that just slaughtered everyone elses’ Wade has a way of intertwining a larger story into his smaller statements and was dramatically different than anything I have heard – particularly the bulleted style of promos we are used to. If done right, he’ll be a huge impact player in years to come.

1. Mark Henry – “When I charge for air, you keep yo bills paid.” In the past few years, Mark Henry has become the ultimate bad ass on the mic and in the ring. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a quotable and makes him out to be larger than life. What I think I enjoy the most is the fact that it all sounds like him. I mean, it doesn’t feel like he is playing a character, it feels like Mark Henry the man goes out there and smashes mu-fuckas, then says some unique statement to drill it in. Definitely my top pic for underrated, cuz the dude is the shit.

MICHAEL WEYER

5. Bruiser Brody: Revered as one of the toughest guys the business has ever known, Brody never quite got his due as a talker. That’s a shame as the man was terrific on the mic, mostly because rather than grunt and howl like you’d expect from such a big man, he would talk intelligently, often sounding quite calm as he made his threats to his opponent, his stern voice adding weight to his words. That made it all the better when he cut loose as a wild man in the ring and when he did erupt on the mic, fans knew he meant business. A true icon taken way too soon as his promo work showed.

4. The Big Bossman: Really underrated as a talker, the Bossman was good at first when he was a heel, sending up a slimy former prison guard. But he got better when he turned face, his talk on establishing law and order always strong, especially against someone he hated like the Mountie. I always loved how his Southern accent would get thicker, adding to his power and his intensity when he talked was always great to watch. The guy really loved the character, you could tell and that helped push his promos to must-see for fans.

3. Barry Darsow The man was a decent worker but truly never got his due as a talker. As Smash of Demolition, he was the main promo guy, going on wild rants and yells to intimidate opponents and make he and Ax sound the baddest team in WWF (which, for a time, they were). Afterward, given the goofy Repo Man gimmick, he elevated the dumb character by going so over the top with it, you had to love it, sneaking around and giggling to the camera. Even the Blacktop Bully had his moments, as Darsow gave his all to any gimmick and that made his talking all the better.

2. The Ultimate Warrior Hear me out. On his 2005 DVD, there’s an entire chapter of people ripping the Warrior for not being able to deliver a good promo but the guy had his moments. I remember the 1990 Royal Rumble where he talks of the 28 mortal men in the battle but then adds “the 29th Man…YOU, Hulk Hogan!” to help set up their eventual showdown. The whole thing of the Warrior was that he wasn’t a normal guy so why should he talk like one? His intensity did win you over; on the DVD, Jericho sums up “I don’t know exactly what he said but it sounded kinda cool so yaaaay!” Come on, was it that much different than the insane promos Hogan would do? If nothing else, you couldn’t take your eyes off him when he ranted and that’s what a promo is meant to do so he succeeded there.

1. James Mitchell I miss managers. I really do. They were once such an integral part of the wrestling business but are now pretty much extinct. James Mitchell was the last of that breed, his stuff as the Sinister Minister in ECW good. However, what made me love him was his tenure in TNA as the manager for Abyss. It was the perfect pairing, the mute monster with this devilish mouthpiece, Mitchell terrific talking of Abyss being “a weapon of mass destruction” and how he would ravage any opponent. It’s thanks to Mitchell Abyss got major presence in TNA at that time as he was always great for mic work (my personal favorite being “Abyss is going to do things to you so unspeakably cruel that even Sadaam Hussain would consider them excessive!”) and it’s a shame we just don’t have guys like him around much anymore.

Jack McGee
5. Sting – This may seem like an odd choice, but I think it applies. Back during Sting’s big run in WCW, the one big knock on him was that he wasn’t a good promo. He was fine at times, but when feuding with Ric Flair, he looked like an amateur hour act. But later in his career, and particularly at times during his TNA run, Sting has turned into a good promo guy. No one will accuse him of being an all time great on the mic, but he really has improved over the years, and gets next to no credit.

4. Bret Hart – Bret Hart is another guy very similar to Sting. He could go in the ring, he was a champion, but was never celebrated as a great promo guy. While I agree for the most part that Bret was average at best early on in his career, I do feel that in the later part of his WWF run, when he was feuding with HBK and working the Anti-American gimmick, he really shined on the mic. Especially when he wasn’t able to perform with the knee injury and he HAD to be the talker. Bret gets a lot of shit for a lot of things, but he really did improve and turn into a good talker.

3. The Big Show – Another guy I feel gets almost no credit, but again has blossomed over the years is Big Show. This is a man that started off as a big ass dude with athletic ability and not much else, but over the years has learned a ton about the wrestling business and how to present things when he is in the ring. Listen to any recent interviews he does when promoting the company; he is one of the smartest guys in the business right now. And with that understanding has come a promo ability that has also grown exponentially. The guy has great comedic timing, he knows when to act the giant, and he also knows how to use emotion. The Big Show has worked hard and is one of the better talkers among the full time WWE roster.

2. Kevin Sullivan – Kevin Sullivan was a guy that always intrigued me, from the Florida days and devil worshiping gimmick to his WCW run with the dungeon of doom and more, the man could always talk. Unfortunately we live in a generation filled with rainbow colored John Cena shirts and a promotion that controls the wrestling world and rewrites history as they wish. Guys like Kevin Sullivan get lost in the shuffle due to that, which is a complete shame. Sullivan was perfectly acceptable in the ring, but he made his money on the mic.

1. Adrian Adonis – Adrian Adonis is a man that overall does not get the respect and love he should from pro wrestling fans. That is likely due to the fact that his weight ballooned and he dies early at the age of 33. While Adonis is underrated in the ring, even when he was huge, the man could talk. He started to really learn his talking skills when he teamed with Jesse Ventura as the East-West Connection, and truly shined as “Adorable” Adrian Adonis. In 1985 he made the effeminate character work very well, and it was all due to his mic skills.