wrestling / Columns

411 Fact or Fiction 04.25.13: Shield, Punk, Ryder, More

April 25, 2013 | Posted by Steve Cook

Hi, hello & welcome to 411 Fact or Fiction! I’m Steve Cook, and it’s been quite the week in the world of pro wrestling. The Shield got what some consider to be their biggest win to date on Monday night when they defeated the Brothers of Destruction & Daniel Bryan. Or Team Hell No & Undertaker if you prefer. The E Network announced they will be airing a show about the WWE Divas. Zack Ryder posted an interesting YouTube video and has not been spiking his hair in Europe. CM Punk is going to baseball games & UFC events. Bully Ray challenged Hulk Hogan. Davey Richards cut a promo at an indy show about going to WWE. Greg DeMarco wrote an article wondering if WWE fans were suffering from a Post-WrestleMania Hangover, while Jon Harder discussed a topic that I spend way too much time tweeting about…facial hair! Mustaches in particular.

I’ve invited two of 411’s finest to discuss these pertinent topics. Introducing first, the author of Ask 411 Wrestling & Tara’s favorite Australian wrestler…Mathew Sforcina!

His opponent is the author of the Tuesday Communique and one of the top ten 411 Tuesday wrestling news columnists of all time…Nick Marsico!

  • Questions were sent out Monday.
  • Participants were told to expect wrestling-related questions.

    1. 1. The Post WrestleMania Hangover is in full effect.

    Mathew Sforcina: FACT. And worse, it’s not just a usual “drank too much, now have pounding headache” levels of hangover, during this drinking spree WWE ended up with a massive tattoo, or has lost a finger, or whatever metaphor for Rock being gone due to injury you wanna give, plus the low buyrate issue. WWE is not in a good place right now. I hope they recover, but right now they are having a bad period. Maybe spending a year in cruise control assuming that Rock and Cena will make you millions and millions was a bad business model?

    Nah, it’s all Antonio Cesaro’s fault clearly.

    Nick Marsico: FICTION. If the “Post WrestleMania Hangover” is what I think it is, that being the fact that wrestling fans were happily drunken with WrestleMania glee and now it’s over and we’re feeling low/crappy/what have you. I was never “drunk” on WrestleMania or WrestleMania season. I made it perfectly clear in the Communique over the last few months that I actually felt like the time leading to WM this year was actually worse than any other time of the year. It was boring, incredibly lacking in creativity and wholly unspectacular. That includes the event itself, which was fine, but nothing I’ll ever bother watching again, or even likely think about for that matter. To me, I’m on a post WrestleMania high. I have hopes now that other people will get more time to do their own thing, much like Bryan and Sheamus got last year after only receiving 18 seconds at the big event. I’m looking forward to the spring and summer months with the smaller PPVs. They’re going to spend less time trying to be overly dramatic and trying to make everything feel epic, and the product will be (marginally) better for it.

    Score: 0 for 1

    2. The Shield will not lose a match until SummerSlam.

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION for two possible reasons: One, they do end up undefeated as a unit till then, but single matches I can see them dropping, as a way to give hope. But two, WWE right now? I don’t trust them to not screw this up somehow. Yes, Shield is being protected unlike almost anyone so far, but still, they will lose eventually… Unless they win the tag belts in which case yeah, they’ll be undefeated. But still, I don’t think so.

    Nick Marsico: FACT. These guys aren’t going to lose as a team until another big show comes around. SummerSlam is the next big one, and honestly I don’t think they’ll lose then, either. I figure they might eat a loss at Survivor Series after being undefeated for more than a year since their debut (even if it’s less than a year after their first actual match). It could be in a 5-on-5 match, though, which means they could blame it on the other two members of their team. I did write this week that I felt Punk should beat Rollins one-on-one in Chicago at the Payback show, but as a team (tag team or 6-man) they won’t lose until SummerSlam at the very earliest. Honestly, I don’t even know who would beat them. A Punk-led team? Sheamus and Orton seem to be done with them. Just don’t let it be Cena.

    Score: 0 for 2

    3. You’re interested in “Total Divas”, a show following the personal lives of the Divas that will air on E Network.

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION. I really don’t like Reality shows I’m not involved in, and I don’t want to watch a bunch of women complain about how hard it is to be a WWE Diva when there’s so many talented women wrestlers who would kill for their spot and it’s ridiculous that this show is being put out when there’s so many problems and… (Note: The remainder of this answer is unprintable due to adult themes, course language and repeated references to inserting of one body part forcibly into another body part.)

    Nick Marsico: FICTION. As they say on the internet, my care cup is empty. No fucks were given. I don’t know the ‘net vernacular too well. What I’m saying is I don’t give a hoot-and-a-half. Daniel Bryan did say that he will be appearing on the show, though, so I’ll check out his appearance(s) on YouTube.

    Score: 1 for 3

    4. A heel turn is exactly what Zack Ryder needs to revitalize his career.

    Mathew Sforcina: FACT. I went back and forth on this, because I still think Ryder should just up and quit, prove to WWE they were wrong, make something of himself on the Indies or Japan or TNA or whatever, but I can see the problem now that whatever momentum he had at the start of the year is LONG gone now, plus whatever good will he had from the boys is also gone. So yeah, a heel turn is pretty much the only arrow left in the quiver. Hopefully the fire he showed in in episode #86 of ZTLIS can get over with the fans.

    Nick Marsico: FACT. I’m hoping that he continues posting videos on his own channel instead of the WWE Channel on Youtube, doing the heel version of the gimmick he was able to pull off when he first began True Long Island Story. He needs to do something that makes people care about him and whining on Twitter while wearing trunks with a “Push Me” button on the back isn’t that thing. The question I’m answering isn’t so much that WWE needs to turn him heel, but rather than he needs to do something interesting (and likely heelish) on his own time to get people talking again.

    Score: 2 for 4


    SWITCH!

    5. CM Punk taking time off makes you less interested in WWE television.

    Nick Marsico: FACT. Well, duh. In my house, if Punk’s talking, nobody else gets to. Even if the subject matter is uninteresting I still often find something fascinating about his work. I just hope they actually spend some time to plan a good angle for when he returns. Punk not having a segment on the show just gives me one less reason on an already short list to actually care about RAW.

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION. WWE television makes me less interested in WWE television. CM Punk taking time off isn’t great, by all means, but on the other hand he heals up and his return should hopefully be good. But his absence isn’t an unrecoverable setback, you can have great wrestling TV without CM Punk, and you will. I just don’t think WWE is able to do that right now for whatever reason. Again, I’m not being negative because of some indy-colored glasses or something, but right now WWE TV is not good. With or without Punk…

    Score: 2 for 5

    6. You want to see Hulk Hogan wrestle Bully Ray.

    Nick Marsico: FICTION. What? No! What kind of silly question is this? I don’t want to see Hogan wrestle anybody. I would love to see him gone forever once the Aces & Eights angle is over, but I doubt I’ll have much luck with that scenario. Hogan’s big retribution moment needs to come in the form of his daughter hitting Bully with a big low blow, preferably after AJ Styles beats him clean for the World Title in October. By no means should Hogan do anything physical outside of pointing and throwing a couple punches. My preference: AJ pins Bully clean at Bound for Glory. Hulk and Brooke come in to celebrate with AJ. Bully goes after Hulk but gets caught. Hulk points “YOOOUUUUU!” and hits his three punches. Bully, stunned, turns around to Brooke, who drops down and hits the classic forearm between the legs low blow. Hulk and Brooke embrace and then allow Styles to bask in the spotlight after winning the World Title and saving TNA.

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION. No, I do not want to see Hulk Hogan wrestling, or whatever near approximation he can do nowadays, against Bully Ray. I want Bully V Joseph Park with Hogan in his corner. Weeks of Hogan training Park, references to their past feud, the occasional reference to Abyss still being there… Bully/Park is a main event I will pay good money to see, if properly built up. Bully/Hogan… No. Hogan is awesome at promos, and his work in this angle is very good, but I’d rather he be in the corner of someone who can work, rather than try and pull the tights on himself.

    Score: 3 for 6

    7. More wrestlers should have mustaches.

    Nick Marsico: FACT. Well, duh, part 2. We need more men like Dan Severn in this world. Soft spoken, hard hitting and, unlike Bobby Lashley, big mustache (and talented). I wonder if that’s the only thing Lashley was missing. Do you think if Lashley had a ‘stache we would have liked him more? Would it have given him that extra unspoken edge that he needed to reach the next level?

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION. Really? Really? See, long hair I agree with, more wrestlers should have long hair, as long hair makes handsome men handsomer (if they are faces) and ugly men uglier (if they are heel) plus it’s easier to talk with long hair. But moustaches are… This is what I came back for? Really? This is a ridiculous question. Facial hair is up to the individuals in question, and are completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. I mean… Gah. *goes back to watching Newlegacyinc videos on youtube*

    Score: 3 for 7

    8. Davey Richards would be a good performer in WWE.

    Nick Marsico: FACT. This is by far the toughest question of the lot. I say fact based on the wording of the question. Davey is a good performer. With the right character he can be incredibly entertaining. He could get over in WWE as the character he played with the No Remorse Corps. Davey was the third most important member of a three-man group consisting of himself, the leader Roderick Strong and the international star Rocky Romero. One particularly funny segment involved him being left behind in Las Vegas with the bags of all three men while the other two hit the Strip. Davey is a talented guy. Could he be successful as a badass MMA fighter? No. Hell, the ROH fans, myself included, turned on that because he went all-in to the point of it being a caricature. I think Davey could fill a midcard role and have moderate success. Honestly, and this has nothing to do with the question, but good god I am SO tired of Richards. The American Wolves were a great tag team the first time around, but this time it just feels like Davey is holding Eddie back from developing into a real star. Short answer: Yes. Davey is a good performer and would likely do well in a role given to him, but his “American Strong Style” act is stupid.

    Mathew Sforcina: FICTION. Davey Richards in WWE…. Bwahahaha.

    Bwahahahaha.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I mean, you want a real answer, a proper pros and cons analysis, you’d like me to treat this seriously, and give you a balanced, fair assessment. But… Davey? In WWE?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    (Note: This went on for 42 pages, so it has been edited for space.)

    HAHAHAHA!

    No, he would not work in WWE. He’d be fired the moment he tried some of his BS.

    Ha.

    OK, I’m good now.

    Final Score: 3 for 8

    Mathew & Nick don’t seem to agree on a whole heck of a lot. That’s how we like it around here! Let us know who you agree with down in the comment section. Thanks to Mathew & Nick for participating, and we’ll be back next week with more Fact or Fiction!

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