The Wrestling News Experience: 01.10.05
Posted by Stephen Randle on 01.10.2005
In other news, the sun rose in the east this morning
Good morning everyone, and if you can't guess what I'm referring to in the teaser, then you either didn't watch New Year's Revolution, didn't read the reviews, or haven't been paying attention to WWE booking for the past few years. I'm Stephen Randle, I did two of those three things, and since I work Sunday nights, I'll let you guess which they might be.
All right, I tire of this, and I have important people to talk to and World of Warcraft to play. Let's get cracking.
PPV In Review – WWE New Year's Revolution 2005
Eugene and William Regal defeated Tyson Tomko and Christian to retain the World Tag Team Championship - And our first injury of the night causes our first three-minute PPV match of the night, with the expected result.
Trish Stratus defeated Lita to win the Women's Championship - And the injury parade continued here, as Lita went down. Guess somebody shouldn't have fired 90% of the women's division.
Shelton Benjamin defeated Maven to retain the Intercontinental Championship - Somebody else is going to have to explain what this was all about, because I have no friggin' clue. Especially after the first two matches went short. Couldn't they have had these two fill time with an actual match?
Muhammed Hassan defeated Jerry Lawler - In what was apparently a horrible match. Surrpise!
Kane defeated Snitsky - So, what's next for the former jobber? I still think Snitsky needed to be in cahoots with Kane, since Raw is heavy on faces, especially if the Big Red Machine is going to give it another shot.
Triple H won the Elimination Chamber to win the World Heavyweight Championship - Oh, don't look so shocked.
Boy, that really sounded like it sucked. And I'm the optimistic guy around here.
Around The Horn
Matt Hardy returned to action working for an indy fed (I guess that's what it was). Let's see, first Lita gets that neck injury. Then Matt jumps to Smackdown while she's injured. Then she comes back, and he jumps back to Raw, only he's a heel and she's not. Well, then he turns face, and they can be happy. But then Kane gets involved and Matt wrecks up his MCL. Well, now he's pretty much healed and...she wrecks up her knee. And you thought your love life was complicated.
WWE wants indy talent to submit applications, in a supposed attempt to boost the cruiserweight division. Or find new cast members for the next edition of Tough Enough, whichever's more believable.
Matt Morgan may return to WWE soon, possibly working under a mask. He'll be the world's biggest luchadore!
Some wrestler named Abyss, who was apparently one of the better parts of TNA, has quit, and apparently has a WWE deal on the table. Those of you who know the guy I'm talking about, are probably pretty stoked. Everyone else moved on long ago, so let's do that now.
WWE is working on expanding its developmental territories, after discovering that cutting down to just one was a really, really bad idea. Related to that, they're getting really tired of flying Lance Storm down to OVW from Calgary every week, so he's been fired. Sorry, that'll never happen again. Actually, he's requested WWE think about opening up a developmental territory in Canada, which would be a good idea, seeing as all the best wrestlers come from here. You know, Bret Hart, Edge, Christian, Val Venis...um...Test...
WWE developmental talent Alexis Laree is recovering from breast implant surgery. Proving once again, what Vince spends way too much time thinking about.
One Year Ago This Experience
Originally posted 01.10.04, and the first glimmer of hope appeared on the horizon, as we reported for the first time that Chris Benoit might (gasp!) actually get a big push and win the World title at WrestleMania. Also, the Undertaker was once again supposed to return as the Dead Man at some point. See, sometimes we do get it right.
An interesting note, Melina Perez, last seen in some brainless Diva segment on Raw, was signed at this point. A year later...well, I just said it...brainless Diva segments. Whee!
Also, Heidenreich had been pulled from TV so they could give him time to work on his lack of skills. And on his redebut, nearly a year later, I can say it was a complete success. Yes, he officially has a complete lack of any skills.
And this column marked the first time I went off on how cynical the IWC was, albeit in a nicer way than my buddy Zucconi, whose anger-riddled tirades usually hit home with me, and prompted me to respond. 411 voted one of his columns the best of the year, and he deserved it. Of course, he also deserved biggest mark, but he knew that.
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 01.03.05
- Carlito Caribbean Cool, SD!, out three months as of November 18 (separated shoulder)
- Christopher Nowinski, RAW, out indefinitely (post-concussion syndrome)
- Jesus, SD!, out indefinitely as of December 14 (neck injury)
- Kane, RAW, out indefinitely as of October 19 (movie)
- Mark Henry, RAW, out until early 2005 as of February 2 (shoulder)
- Matt Hardy, RAW, out six months as of September 2004 (torn MCL)
- Stephanie McMahon, SD!, inactive since October 2003 (kayfabe, resigned as GM)
Inactive List Changes
- Eugene, RAW, out indefinitely as of January 9 (knee injury)
- Lita, RAW, out indefinitely as of January 9 (knee injury)
From the recaps of NYR, these seem real, and I don't think WWE is stupid enough to book two straight three minute matches ending out of nowhere with knee injuries. Though they did book that whole non-match IC title thing.
- Kane, RAW, returned to action January 1
Complete with pyro, and with that, pyro miscues. Although that was two of the most blatant mistakes I've seen in a while. What, did they let Eugene work the switchboard that night or something? Yes, I went for the easy joke. Sue me.
Links For Fun And Nonprofit
Well, the site was down for a long time Sunday night, so it was dump the links section or the actual news section, due to time constraints. So read everyone. EVERYONE! I COMMAND IT!
The Gab Bag
matnic2001 wrote in twice this week, first of all to mention how his attempt to watch the entire Lord of the Rings extended trilogy at once went (not well), and also to talk about how much Canada dominates at hockey. This is true, as our fairly spectacular victory at the World Junior Championships means that Canada holds all six major world hockey titles at once (Olympics men's, Olympics women's, World Championship men's, World Championship women's, and World Juniors) and is the first country to ever do so. Truly, the entire world is our bitch.
But that's not all, as his second mail mentions that he'll be driving right through my home of Guelph this weekend, on his way to Collingwood. He then goes a little over the top by calling it Hollywood for wrestling dorks. And you all know, there's nothing I like better than someone pumping up my ego. Of course, then he says that he drinks Molson XXX. Dude, pick a real beer.
Chris Duench found me another location in Toronto with the ECW DVD. Proving that I'm just a lazy whiner. But you all knew that.
And I was correct, I did receive mail about supporting RVD's decision not to go to Iraq, but only one, from AnnMarie, who would have gone, because she supports the troops, and thinks RVD is selfish. And since she said I could disagree if I wanted to, I shall, but my reasons get into a whole bunch of stuff that will probably make me look like a jerk, and we wouldn't want that, would we? Long story short, it's not that I don't support the troops, I do (insomuch as I think they should get the hell out as soon as possible), I just don't like any aspect of the military, which has coloured my views a lot.
Gametime lords over me his ownership of the ECW DVD, and says that the best thing about Brock-Goldberg was Austin Stunning both of them. Meh, Austin stuns a lot of guys. That pretty much sums up what I thought of him at the time. Cynical, ain't I?
And Beth agrees to wear Randy Wear and prove it, if someone buys it for her and ships it to Australia. You have your mission, my minions.
And One To Go On
I know I said last week that The 411's would be up, but then Ashish smacked me upside the head for posting such a big feature on a Sunday. So they'll be up tomorrow, I promise. Absolutely. Really, they're in the posting queue as we speak.
Also, Ricky will be in tomorrow, and Raw's tonight, which means 411-exclusive coverage from Obal and Dunn, and really, what more could you ask for?
