Perfect Hindsight 01.24.05 Reinventing The Rumble

Posted by Gavin Napier on 01.24.2005

Because there hasn't been a good one since 1992.

Note: Technical difficulties have delayed this column, so I'm jumping back to the email that I got from the year-end awards deal. My apologies, but I seem to have everything straightened out now.

You know what? I'm going to have to get into the fortune telling business. I had a feeling that my awards last year would raise the ire or some of my loyal readers out there, and I was right. Then, there was that one guy that actually agreed with me. I still maintain that Triple H's reputation is somewhat undeserved, but I know that there's a lot of you that aren't going to believe that no matter what evidence I provide you. So let's just get to the mail, shall we?

The first letter comes from Maria K. Hardy, and she was somewhat vocal in her disagreement with me.

I was with you right down to Wrestler of the Year. ..."I know you hate him. "He plays politics!", you say. You're right. So what? Are you telling me that Hulk Hogan never did? That Dusty Rhodes never did? That Randy Savage never did? That The Undertaker never has? That Steve Austin never did?...."

Yes I do hate him..and not love to hate way either. More of the OH LORD, IT'S HULK HOGAN AGAIN!!! I got sick of lookin' at him, I got sick of listenin to him butcher his way thru an interview or vignette. I got sick of hearin' about him. I started having flashbacks and hearing "....I am a real American" and seeing yellow and orange....oh the pain. Oops, I digress, forgive me. Now back to the business at hand. Sure the others played politics....of course, it's the nature of the beast. Some times it worked out better than others. But still, none of them romanced &/or married the bosses daughter THEN shot to the top! I mean really.

I don't think HHH is the first but I do think he's the worse!!!! (With Hogan a very, very close second). Anyway, just because HHH has finally started 'letting' others shine or giving them the rub, instead of squashing them by no selling doesn't mean he is the Wrestler of the Year....Best Attitude Adjustment, Most Improved maybe. Just think about it....virtually every other wrestler, Austin, The Rock, Benoit, Steiner, Michaels, Flair, Edge, Orton, Batista...has put HHH over---repeatedly!!! On the precious few occasions others won, it was rarely a clean win.

This sharing of the wealth may just mean he (HHH) has finally figured out the 'team' concept-- if I look good and I make others look good, we all look good which equals more viewer loyalty, more viewers, higher ratings and higher buy rates for PPVs.

You mentioned it yourself, RAW had in effect, become the HHH show and after a short while, the ratings started to drop. Honestly, if I were doing some of the writing and/or booking more often than not...I'D HAVE THE ONLY GOOD MATCH ON THE SHOW TOO!!!! There was no variety, no suspense, no real reason for watching. Everybody knew HHH would win the belt you just didn't know who would be doing the jobbing for him. And after awhile, you really didn't care. Just like w/Hogan in the 80's. I would've thought a valuable lesson was learned from that...guess not!!!

In conclusion, while HHH may have experienced a watershed moment in 04, I hardly think that warrants the nod for Wrestler of the Year. It appears he is finally doing what he should've been doing all along!!! I'd like a recount w/AJ Styles' year being given a closer look!! Thanks for listening


Some people will call this blasphemous, but I have to refer you to Ric Flair in the 1980's. It's much the same thing. While Triple H isn't and never will be the worker that Flair was in 1987, he's in the same position in his career. He's the established top dog in his federation, and it's going to be almost impossible to dislodge him from this position. Looking back, if we had the internet, how many people would have blasted Flair for never putting people over? For hogging the title? How many people would have looked at Ric Flair's friendship with Crockett and said "this is the only reason he's the champion!" But Flair in the mid-1980's did much the same thing that Triple H of the late 90's and early 21st century does. He would have the title for extended runs, relenquish it for a short time, and then win it back. If the internet had been around in 1987, people would have been screaming for Flair to put over Nikita, Sting, Luger, Road Warrior Hawk, Ricky Morton, Lazer Tron, and George South, complaining about politics. Kind of like they scream for Triple H to put over Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Hurricane, Buh Buh Ray Dudley, Kane, and Eugene. But even if they never went over for the title, Flair made those guys look good when he was in the ring with them. Triple H has done the same thing. He even went as far as someone could go to try and make Buh Buh Ray Dudley a credible singles wrestler. When you're bumping and selling for Buh Buh in a WORLD TITLE MATCH, you're going above and beyond the call of duty. And if 2004 WAS the year that he finally learned how to "play ball" as a team guy, and the value of getting everyone over, more power to him. That's even MORE of a reason to give him the Wrestler of the Year Award. Not that he cares about a minor IWC member's "award" that doesn't even consist of a piece of paper. But you know.

Sam Everett chimed in with MKH, and offered this:


Hey there! Good, well-thought-out column once again. But I'm one of the masses to disagree with your Wrestler of the Year pick (hey, you said it'd be unpopular! ).

Triple H was good in 2004. Sometimes great. And ten times better than he was in '03, when he contributed almost nothing but a waste of half the TV time. But for entertainment value and match quality, Guerrero and Benoit, and to a lesser extent HBK, all had a better year. (Haven't really seen much of Styles, so I'll leave him out of this).

First, if one concedes that Triple H is even half the politician that everyone portrays him as, then just the sheer number of big money matches he's participated in isn't really that spectacular. I mean, if he had a hand in booking himself in even half those matches, then, you know, of course he'd have a prolific year. HBK, Guerrero, and Benoit didn't have that luxury this year, and had to work with what was given to them. If you're Triple H, you spend the year in programs with Benoit, HBK, Benjamin, the phenomenon that was Eugene, and Chosen One Randy Orton. If you're Chris Benoit, you get HBK, Triple H, then half-hearted feuds with Kane and Randy Orton, and a muddled one with Edge. If you're Guerrero, you go from Brock to Angle, to JBL for like four months, then back to Angle, then nuthin'. Luther Reigns. An awful tag team with Booker T.

Second, the biggest flaw in Triple H's matches is that his character is so inconsistent. In the same match, he can go from monster heel to cowardly pussy. Hell, he did almost just that in Monday's match against Shelton Benjamin (though you could say he had some motivation to come out hot). He could fight Tajiri one week and have almost no problem taking him out, then three weeks later he's fighting the same guy and needs Batista to Demon Bomb Tajiri to hell. It's the thing that's most annoying to me about a Triple H match--there's never any continuity, from match to match, or from moment to moment in the same match.

For entertainment value, on the stick and in vignettes, can't really argue with Triple H there. He's better than HBK, Benoit, or Guerrero--but not so much better that it makes up for his inferior in-ring performace.

Not sure who I'd go with for my Wrestler of the Year--which makes me a douchebag who's arguing with your pick without having a better one. Don't you hate those people! : ) I suppose I'd add "stereotypical internet jack-off" to "douchebag" as a fair description of me, and go with Benoit. Obviously he had the feel-good story of the year, showed me a lot on the mic, and even made me look forward to matches with Mark Henry and Tyson Tomko earlier in the year. Of those not mentioned, Edge had a REALLY good last half of the year, both in ring and out.


I'll never support Edge for an award. Ever. I have my reasons. The inconsistent character is part of being a heel. Just the nature of the beast. People want to see a heel be afraid, be cowardly, run away, beg for mercy, and all that. But at the same time, you have to keep a guy credible, or you end up just having a guy that looks weak. So top of the card heels have to walk a thin line between being cowards and being monsters. I can forgive that for Trips. Flair could run the table on certain guys one week, only to need the Horsemen to bail him out the next time through.

What you say about the promos, though, is just another thing that seals the deal for HHH. He's trimmed down the 20 minute rants that bored us all so much, and he's much more natural with his promos than Benoit. Guererro can be amusing, but it seems too much like a Cheech Marin imitation sometimes for my liking. Nothing wrong with supporting Benoit, he had a fine year. I can understand the arguement on his behalf, I just can't agree with it this year. Thanks for writing in.

Finally, we're going to get around to the guy that agrees with me. Kinda.


On the WrestleMania XX Main Event:

a) The best three-way ever. Yes.

b) Shawn Michaels' best match ever. NO!

c) Triple H's best match ever. Yes.

d) The best Wrestlemania main event ever. Maybe.

e) Benoit's time to shine. Yes.

Shawn Michaels wrestled so many incredible matches between 95 and 98. The 'Mania three-way was great, match of the year, I agree, but to say it was Michaels' best is a very risky statement. Some of his one-on-ones during the time period I mentioned were the best of the decade... matches with Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mick Foley, Steve Austin, etc. I just think it's an insult to a wrestler's abilities to say a 3-way is his best match... especially someone like Michaels that has such an incredible resume. The psychology and execution of the XII Iron Man Match with Hart was incredible, that still holds as best 'Mania main event.

Rest of the column I agreed with completely. Triple H was the wrestler of the year as far as how valuable he was to the roster. Anyone who disagrees is letting their personal feelings get in the way.


I agree with you that it's going out on a limb to say anything that HBK does now is his best match ever, but I stand by it wholeheartedly. I don't consider it an insult to any participant or past opponent to say a three way is a man's best match, because all three men blew the doors off the standards for future 3-ways. Three ways are usually broken, jerky matches with little rhyme or reason. HHH, HBK, and Benoit managed to work into a rhythm, a flow, and a sense of psychology that actually built to something. Each man made the other two look like a million bucks time and again, and the false finishes were believable. Calling this match HBK's best ever isn't knocking the other great matches he's had...it's just showing how much respect I have for the performances all three men turned in this time around. To me, the only HBK match that even comes close to this one is when he hobbled through a match with Austin at Wrestlemania. Great stuff.

But hey, thanks for the support on the award. I'm glad SOMEBODY was objective with me out there.

Now, let's start breaking down and rebuilding this little January tradition that's coming up soon.

30 men, 1 winner, every year.

Unfortunately, this has gotten to be a little predictable. Since the inclusion of the "winner gets a title shot" rule, things have become too easy to forsee. Every year, you can narrow the list of usual suspects down to two or three guys. They don't do a real good job of disguising this, except with Chris Jericho two years ago. They had me thinking that he was going to do really well, given all the hype with HBK and such going into it. Instead he got tossed about halfway through. Brilliant. Here's what you can count on every year with the Rumble:

1. One of four guys will win (two from either show.)

2. Someone will get the Diesel push, where they come in and clear the ring quickly, but don't win.

3. A face going over. Of the past 17 Rumbles, a face has gone over 13 times.

Why should the most unpredictable event of the year end up as one of the most predictable? They make a big deal over who gets number one and number thirty. Make a big deal over ALL THIRTY. How? Watch.

You start the Monday after the December ppv, and you list eligible participants for the RAW half. Only 15 spots are available for the brand, so obviously not everyone can get in. The World Champion is automatically removed from consideration, as he'll be making a defense. Everyone else, IC and Tag champs included, are entered. The same thing goes with Smackdown! on the Thursday show. That means that Triple H and John Bradshaw Layfield are automatically out of the running. You also have to determine a contender for them, eliminating two more prospects. For the sake of argument, we'll give each man Shelton Benjamin and Booker T, respectively. Eligible contestants:

RAW: Batista, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Christian, Edge, Eugene, Gene Snitsky, Kane, Maven, Randy Orton, Rhyno, Ric Flair, Rob Conway, Rosey, Shawn Michaels, Simon Dean, Stevie Richards, Sylvian Grenier, The Hurricane, Tajiri, Tyson Tomko, Val Venis, and William Regal.

Smackdown!: Akio, Al Snow, Big Show, Billy Kidman, Bubba Ray Dudley, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Charlie Haas, Chavo Guerrero, D-Von Dudley, Daniel Puder, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, Eddy Guerrero, Funaki, John Heidenreich, John Cena, Kenzo Suzuki, Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Nunzio, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Renee Dupree, Rey Misterio, Rob Van Dam, Scotty 2 Hotty, Shannon Moore, Spike Dudley, The Undertaker.

Do the match. That's 53 bodies for 30 spots. Here's how we trim things down.

1. Only one member of a tag team is allowed to enter. That means the partners need to figure out who has the best shot at winning, flip a coin, or have a match for it. That means that eitehr Grenier or Conway, Hurricane or Rosey, Christian or Tomko, Buh Buh or D-Von, Danny or Doug Basham, Rey Rey or RVD can get in.

2. Award certain spots to certain shows. RAW can't have #1 AND #2, Smackdown! can't have #29 AND #30. So if RAW wins #1, SD! gets #2. If RAW gets #30, SD! gets #29. That gives people on each brand something to shoot for and something to avoid.

3. Qualifying matches. Take two weeks and figure out who's going where. Winners get in, losers are on thin ice. Random draw for the rights to get in. RAW features Batista vs. Kane. Maven vs. Stevie Richards. Hurricane vs. Simon Dean. Gene Snitsky vs. Rhyno. Ric Flair vs. Edge. HBK vs. Chris Benoit. Chris Jericho vs. Christian. Rob Conway vs. William Regal. Val Venis vs. Tajiri. We'll pick winners as Batista, Maven, Hurricane, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Christian, William Regal, and Tajiri. That's nine spots taken for RAW, with 6 spots left.

Smackdown! is a little more crowded, so there's going to have to be a couple of three way matches set up among "lesser" contenders. Akio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas. Daniel Puder vs. Funaki vs. Nunzio. Paul London vs. Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Shannon Moore. After that, set up Big Show vs. Heidenreich. Kurt Angle vs. John Cena. Eddy Guerrero vs. Doug Basham. Rob Van Dam vs. The Undertaker. Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Al Snow. Luther Reigns vs. Mark Jindrak. Renee Dupree vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Kenzo Suzuki vs. Chavo Guerrero. We'll pick winner as Billy Kidman, Funaki, Paul London, Big Show, Kurt Angle, Eddy Guerrero, The Undertaker, CCC, Mark Jindrak, Renee Dupree, and Kenzo Suzuki. That's 11 spots taken for Smackdown! with 4 spots left.

This allows two things to occur - First, it gives a company wide storyline that ties everyone together for a month. Secondly, it gives EVERYONE some television time with meaning. Current rosters:

RAW: Batista, Maven, Hurricane, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Christian, William Regal, and Tajiri.

Smackdown!: Billy Kidman, Funaki, Paul London, Big Show, Kurt Angle, Eddy Guerrero, The Undertaker, Carlito Carribbean Cool, Mark Jindrak, Renee Dupree, and Kenzo Suzuki.

4. The remaining spots are determined the same way, with losers squaring off in a last ditch attempt. However, only five of the six spots will be awarded via these matches. Kane vs. Rhyno. Stevie Richards vs. Simon Dean. Edge vs. HBK. Chris Jericho vs. Rob Conway. Winners here are Kane, Stevie Richards, HBK, and Chris Jericho. Give Val Venis a match against a guy that was previously detained from entering: Randy Orton. Orton wins.

With Smackdown, you'd have to do things a little differently, with only three spots available to fill of the four. Set up two three way matches with your highest profile guys. In this case, you'd have Heidenreich vs. Luther Reigns vs. Rob Van Dam. Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. John Cena. RVD and Cena win those, respectively. Finally, throw everyone else into a match on Velocity. Ako vs. Haas vs. Puder vs. Nunzio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Shannon Moore vs. Doug Basham vs. Al Snow. Gauntlet match like the Cruiserweight thing they did at WM XX. Give Al Snow the nod for being a veteran in this instance.

5. The final spot is just a shot in the dark. A literal pre-show blind drawing for each brand. For RAW, you'd have Rhyno, Simon Dean, Edge, Rob Conway, Val Venis, and all previously exempted tag partners. On Smackdown!, there would be plenty of guys. Heidenreich, Reigns, Bubba Ray, Chavo, Akio, Haas, Puder, Nunzio, Scotty, Shannon Moore, Doug Basham. All eligible. They find out right before the match if they're in or not.

6. There should be one week left after the first 14 on each show are determined. But really, do guys that got a second chance deserve that last spot? I think not. So the original batch gets their shot at the final entry for their show in - what else? - a battle royal. We'll say Batista wins RAW. On Smackdown, The Undertaker. That means two monsters will be coming out last in the Rumble. Nice intrigue. But for the first two spots, that second batch of guys is indeed eligible. A battle royal again, with everyone that isn't Batista or the Undertaker. Order of elimination determines order of entry. One to start the show, one to end the show. See how easy? We'll put Benoit and Guerrero in at numbers one and two, just for kicks.

7. Just before the Rumble, Vince McMahon himself announces a switch. There's going to be two matches, with 10 minute time limits, to see who REALLY gets to come in last. RAW's first entrant, Chris Benoit, will square off against Smackdown!'s final entrant, The Undertaker. ditto for Guerrero vs. Batista. If the little guys win, they get the last spots. A draw or a loss, and everything stays the same. For this year, everything stays the same.

Along the way, certain storylines will have developed for guys that didn't get in. Rosey keeping Simon Dean out. JBL's cabinet's failures to get in. Things of that nature to provide filler for the rest of the card. So in my world, here's the entry order for the Royal Rumble.

1. Chris Benoit 2. Eddy Guerrero 3. Maven 4. Renee Dupree 5. Ric Flair 6. Al Snow 7. Heidenreich (via drawing) 8.William Regal 9.Christian 10.Tajiri 11.Funaki 12. Paul London 13.Christian 14.Mark Jindrak 15.Stevie Richards 16.John Cena 17.Hurricane 18.Edge (via drawing) 19. Randy Orton 20. Carlito Caribbean Cool 21.Kane 22. Kurt Angle 23.Chris Jericho 24.Kenzo Suzuki 25.Big Show 26.Gene Snitsky 27.HBK 28.Renee Dupree 29. The Undertaker 30.Batista

You backload it with your major players so that you can truly portray the feeling of "anyone" can win. You also use this to start working towards Wrestlemania, with the exception of the World Title. No more gauranteed title shot, because that's part of what makes this too predictable. And we go back to a STRICT two minute interval. No one minute stuff, no minute and a half, no "almost" two minutes. TWO MINUTES. Cena and Orton eliminate each other, setting up a WM cross-brand showdown. Benoit and Guerrero hang around until the end. Batista gets the Diesel push, tossing bodies right and left. Who wins? I'll leave that up to you. It's your world.

That's my reparation of the Royal Rumble. Add more intrigue going in and you've got more excitement for the match. Make every number mean something, and have guys fighting a clawing their way to the last spot to help their chances. It's a great concept, the execution just needs to improve.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you think. [e-mail] or hit me at gavdaddy2004 on AIM. I'll catch everybody again on Wednesday when Ask 411 pops up. Peace.