Perfect Hindsight 02.06.05: What If Brock Came Back?

Posted by Gavin Napier on 02.06.2005

And what if Vince held a grudge?

Let's just get it out of the way - Patriots 31, Eagles 13.

Now then, you guys make me feel like somebody special on here. I understand that the mail I get for Ask 411 isn't really for me, it's for getting questions answered. But then there are weeks like two weeks ago when I post a column and nearly two dozen e-mails come in with feedback, other ideas, minor corrections, and other stuff. I'm flattered. Humbled. Truely grateful that people actually read what I put up here. I'm focusing more energy on Ask 411 for the time being, but with responses like that to Perfect Hindsight, rest assured that I'll be stepping up the quality and quantity on these thing again. You like me, you REALLY LIKE ME!

In the mailbag, myself and Dan Belenkov had some nice banter between us. He didn't agree with my thoughts in the column on tweaking the Rumble itself, and he had some minor issues with my tagline of "There hasn't been a good one since 1992." And as I told him, that's fair enough. When I think about the 13 Rumbles since then, though, I think about bad finishes (Bret and Luger), bad winners (Vince McMahon), bad concepts (one minute intervals when HBK went wire to wire), and predictable winners (Austin, Triple H). But maybe it's just the bad sticking out in my mind more than the good. In one of the other letters, though, Dan offered some thoughts on another part of the procedure I tinkered with.


I personally think that a Rumble where the only thing on the line is a main event push would not be worth shelling out $35 for. It kind of removes the luster and mystique.

On the other hand, I was watching Rumble 2001 last night and at the beginning of the ppv they do the video promos. They had a montage with pictures of Tazz, Saturn, Goodfather, one of the Hollys, Bradshaw. The voice over says "One of these men could achieve their dream" or some such. The thought running through my head? "YEAH RIGHT!!" You do have a point, the stips narrow the possible winners to about 3 each year. My point is that its not much different from any other type of match (HHH v. Hurricane for instance) in its predictability. And thats a-ok by me.


Ah, see? If you're going to have an awesome promo like that, why not make it believable? Why not get an interview with a guy like Rhyno, where they tell him about what an underdog he is, and how guys like Batista and Kane are in a better position to win. Rhyno responds with "Yeah, well, this isn't a wrestling match. I don't have to put anybody's shoulders down. I don't have to make anyone tap out. All I have to do is dump someone over the top rope. I can do that. To ANYBODY. I deserve my chance, and I'm going to earn my shot. Tonight."

Picture this for next year. JBL is no longer the champion after a long run on Smackdown. Bradshaw, Orlando Jordan, and the Bashams are all sticking around in the last five or six guys. Rhyno is in there, and someone of the nature of Batista - a monster face that the crowd can rally behind. Rhyno helps JBL and his Cabinet to toss Batista, only for them to turn on him and dump him. Only Rhyno lands with one foot on the ground, one on the apron. The Cabinet doesn't pay attention, and one by one Jordan, Basham, and Basham all eliminate themselves to give JBL the win and another shot at his title. Rhyno picks his spot, slides back in and GORE GORE GORE's JBL before tossing him. Rhyno wins the Royal Rumble, and sets up a program for him to jump to Smackdown and have a feud with JBL that culminates in a nice upper midcard match at Wrestlemania.

I know what you're saying. "Rhyno? RHYNO? I don't want to see Rhyno going over in the main event of the Royal Rumble." And I agree. I don't think the Royal Rumble should BE the main event of said ppv. Maybe I'm too old school for my own good, but nothing..and I mean NOTHING..should be more important than the world title. Put one of the World Title matches on after the Rumble, and let the commentary team hype the fact that the #1 contender for whoever wins this match is already waiting in the wings if you're not going to drop the gauranteed title shot. If you DO drop the title shot, even better. You put forth the image that nothing is more important than your World Title. As it should be.

Adam sent in an idea, that I actually like a little better than mine.

Very cool idea but here's one to consider:
Each gets only 13(slots) leaving open four "mystery" spots(think 2002 with Goldust and the like). Mystery Spots: #27: Mikey Whipwreck(possible one nighter maybe more), #28: Tommy Dreamer(A nice send off),#29: Johnny Nitro(wins OVW Battle Royal),#30: Vader(for the "Holy Shit" moment off the night).


Not bad, Adam. Not bad at all. But my picks for the four mystery spots would go a little differently. Whipwreck is in Ring of Honor, Tommy Dreamer did his Rumble thing where he brought the weapons in, Johnny Nitro wouldn't serve a great purpose. Vader would be awesome, though. For the other three, I'd go with

- New Jack. Let him bring HIS loot and plunder into the ring and carve somebody up to start a feud.

- Al Snow. A recognizable pace from recent WWF/E history. Let him bring Head with him and have a nice little run in the Rumble.

- The Rock. Everyone expects him at Wrestlemania. Give no warning, give no inclination that he'll be anywhere near it. And right around number seventeen or so, when everyone is starting to feel the effects of a long match, they get "DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK'S COOKIN?". Electricity. Immediately.

George H. Sirois chipped in with some nice words.


From one 411mania writer to another, well done on your re-inventing the Rumble column. I remember telling my friends my thoughts regarding making the Rumble something that means something to everyone, not just the top 6 or so guys. Remember back in '02, the first Smackdown after HHH returned? There was a match involving Austin, Rock, Angle and I think Jericho. Then Jericho got knocked out of the melee by Kane, cleared the ring, chokeslammed Austin. Then Big Show came out, kicked the hell out of Kane. Then HHH came out (to a huge ovation, I was there) and pedigreed Show. The last shot showed HHH exchanging glances with The Undertaker. It was a very cool spot and a great way to end the show, but why just have those guys there? There are over 20 other guys who are involved in a match that will determine the #1 contender for the Championship. Why go so far to tell your audience, forget those other guys. Just worry about the ones we tell you to worry about.

I'll go one step further with your breakdown and add a little extra flair to it. (As we all know on the 'net, there's nothing wrong with extra Flair.) This can be a little complicated, but given the writing on the show, they don't have all that much else to do.

I can see the qualifying matches start as early as after the Survivor Series. On random episodes of Raw and Smackdown, have some of the undercard guys duking it out for the right to be in the Rumble. Some guys would win a couple of matches to get in, so it wouldn't have to be a single elimination tournament and guys would get second chances as well. If they want, they can keep a tally of how many wins the wrestlers have, and their amount of wins determines the spot they get. That way, all spots are up for grabs. (Hell, we all know they're not "randomly drawn" so why keep that going?)

Then, as it gets closer to the Rumble, there could be a couple superstars that get pushed out of the Rumble for varying reasons. Their records weren't good enough, a curtain jerker scored an upset win over them, etc. And that particular superstar goes and interferes in the match to attack the guy who beat him. BAM! Instant feud.

The Rumble's one of the most anticipated matches of the year, every year. It's time it started acting like it.


Not bad ideas. I will say this, though, in defense of "random" numbers: it led to some great moments this year. Flair and Eddy were comedy gold, as were Cena and Christian. Very cool. Maybe just an ongoing tally to see who gets the first and last entry respectively from RAW and SD!. The Rumble needs to be opened back up, so that you can envision a "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan or a Big John Studd winning it again. When this Rumble started, I was watching with three friends. They were discussing picks and who they thought would win, and why. When pressed to pick one guy from each brand, one settled on Edge or Cena. One settled on HBK or Guerrero. One settled on Benoit and Guerrero. My picks? Batista and Cena. Granted, things didn't go the way I thought they would. My vision for it was that we'd come down to Batista and Flair vs. Cena. Flair screws over Batista and dumps him, only to have Cena dump Flair and win the Rumble. Batista has had it, faces Flair for RAW's big program in February and goes on to job to HHH at WMXXI. But oh well. Here's hoping that Batista beats JBL at Wrestlemania and we get a re-unification match at Summerlsam with HHH.

Myself and Chris Regal were kind of like the NHL labor talks - we agreed on some things, disagreed on others. I don't think either one of us would negotiate very well, but that's okay, too. I'm all about stubborn and intelligent rolled into one.


Although I do not totally agree on your participant selection (I think Puder and Simon Dean, guys theyre trying to make look good, should be in). I also disagree with your pick as Batista for the monster and the last entrant...if he is expected to go on a tear and eliminate tons of guys, that means that, by the end of the rumble, there still has to be a good 10+ guys in there so Batista can eliminate, say, 6 of them. I also think that Batista is a favorite to win, and therefore, shouldn't be last. But then again, in the same light, it has become predictable that an entrant who wins has to go the distance to prove himself worthy. Flair did it, Austin has gone long ways, Benoit went the whole way, Hart did it, Michaels did it. If a heel were to win, it would be smart to book him to steal the win in sorts, coming in late and dumping the monster face at the end (think 99 rumble had mcmahon entered at # 30.) This year in particular, it has to be avoided that the obvious winner gets it. As great as the Benoit win was, everyone and their grandmother knew it was coming. It doesnt have to be a swerve (ala mcmahon in 99 or hogan going out in 92), but it should be a good ending that nobody sees coming. The rumble can single-handedly put a person over the top (as with benoit)...when he won last year, everyone knew "this is his time," whereas he had had many title shots in the past and therefore the winner does not have to be someone who has been built up for months (ie orton). also to what you said, i dont think that tag teams should be only allowed to offer 1 partner...tag partners fighting is always a fun part of the rumble, and can open the door to establish a feud.


NEWS FLASH: ZAB JUDAH JUST KNOCKED OUT CORY SPINKS. THERE IS MUCH REJOICING IN THE NAPIER HOUSEHOLD.


Batista got a mini-Diesel in the Rumble, coming in and tossing a few guys emphatically, as well as dropping Kane with a monstrous powerbomb. This Rumble really had some nice moments, like Puder getting initiated, Benoit and Guerrero teaming up for a while, the RAW vs. SD! showdown, and the look on Batista's face when Flair tried to toss him. But the scenarios you post are good, too. Aside from McMahon, I'm not sure a "legitimate" entrant has ever won the Rumble from the #30 spot. Number one has done it twice, and number three did it once, but never a "real" #30. And I can't really argue on the tag teams, since Ax and Smash going at it as numbers one and two was a huge mark out moment back in the day. Maybe having one in and one out would establish some dissention, though, as a partner gets jealous or resentful of the shot his teammate is getting.

Lee was another one of those guys that agreed with me on some things, but had a major sticking point.


Read your Rumble column. Excuse me if I have this wrong, but are you saying that every single number will be predetermined before the event, and the crowd know who is coming in where? If so, I hate the idea. The winner of the Rumble is usually very predictable, but the Rumble match is so popular still because the rest of the match is so unpredictable. The beauty of the RUmble is knowing the 30 entrants but not knowing which order they enter in. The beauty is in the clock counting down and you having no idea who's music will hit. The beauty is in the 'random' entrance order.

I do not know one person who likes it when they assign numbers 1 or 30 to people before the event. I love to see who was unlucky and got number 1, just like I like to see who lucked out to get number 30. That is the intrigue. I'm the biggest Rumble fanatic you'll ever find, buit if I knew who was coming out and when, I'd never watch it. It'd be pointless. I agree that every spot in the Rumble should be important, and I like the qualifying matches, but you have to keep the unpredicatability. With the Mania title shot on the line the winner can only ever be one of two or three guys, but at least you get 50-60 minutes of unpredictability before that to enjoy.



After having some time to reflect on it, and hearing from those that disagreed with me, I'm persuaded to agree. I still say the # 1 and 2 guys and #29 and 30 guys should be determined beforehand, but use a running tally to see who gets those. Let everything else be open to chance and fate and all that good stuff. So we keep qualifying matches, and we determine a handful of numbers, but the large majority is left unpredictable. Now if we could just get them to drop the title shot.

A reader by the name of Scott Sumner gives me a good opportunity to be a REAL IWC MEMBER.


I usually really enjoy this column, but this week just seemed wrong. Right off the bat I disagree with "there hasn't been a good one since 1992"...I'm not huge on having mark-out moments (besides with Batista lately...damn he's awesome) but during last years rumble I literally clapped at certain times. Specifically the Brock interference on Goldberg, and especially at the end with Benoit winning. The rumble was great in my opinion, and was the first time I was actually in a great mood after a ppv (well..except for 'mania) in years.

I think the rumble rules are fine, but I do agree with you on making it a strict 2 minute intreval. Having both members of a tag team in the rumble adds a small amount of drama, and can set up future storylines for the team. Nobody believes that a tag team wrestler is going to win anyway, so why put only ONE in the match? That's like, D'von Dudley coming in the rumble, and no Bubba Ray...D'von's gonna lose anyway, and we don't even get any good tag team drama out of it? I'm sure the "Double Teamed" writer (forget his name) would be upset with that idea...(I'm just waiting on you to reveal to me that YOU write those columns, and make me feel like a complete ass lol)

Also the qualification matches that you had set up just seemed too complex. If anything, why not do something like the beat the clock night for the Elimination Chamber? That made sense, and was exciting...I DO agree with "one brand can't have the 1 AND 2 spots...or number 29 AND 30 spots.." But I think you went about everything else with too much complexity.

Anyway...That's my opinion. Decent column though.

Okay, here's where I can rant and yell about how if you think it's so crappy why don't you try getting a column and putting YOUR ideas out for the world to judge and this and that...but that's not my style. I'll be completely honest - I didn't see all of last year's Rumble match because my interest in the WWE product in general has declined so sharply that it's hard for them to hold my attention for a ppv. I'm glad I didn't completely turn you away from what I had in mind, i.e. the 2 minute intervals and the refusal to let people hog spots. Complexity is a bad thing, so maybe I needed to tone that down a little. And yeah, some people agreed and some disagreed with the tag teams. I think it could work either way, I just limited them to one entry each to add a little diversity to things. But the Haas/Benjamin reunion was nice in the Rumble, so maybe you have a point.

And for what is arguably the best letter I have ever received (and probably will remain so unless I somehow attract a slew of female fans that take pictures of themselves), Adam Farley comes my way with something that made me rocket grape juice out of my nose and onto my monitor when I read it. Seriously.


I like your idea on bringing interest into every competitor, but when has the 'E ever wanted us to enjoy a rumble? I also thought it would be fairly entertaining to have Zach Gowen abuse the 2 feet on the ground elimination rule and be eliminated several times and just roll back in, make it to the final 4, be eliminated yet again and have someone throw his fake leg at him on the floor thereby officially finishing him off. What do you think?


You know what? Nuff said.

And now, on to the meat and taters of this thing.

What if Brock came back?


You know you're wondering. You know you are. I am. So let's see how I'd do it. First of all, let's set some ground rules.

1. He can't come back to an immediate World Title push.

2. He has to come back to RAW, because it's the bigger show.

3. He has to come back as a heel where someone speaks for him. Brock speaking ruins the aura.

So how do we do this and have it make sense?

Just having him pop up and challenge somebody is too easy. I want Brock to have character, to have a purpose, and I want him to pay his dues for leaving. That means midcard at best, where he can help elevate someone in a big way. Preferably, a heel. WWE has a guy right now that's hot and needs to be elevated, to be confirmed as a big player on the RAW side of things. He got a good start at it during the Rumble.

The hate speech and anti-American views of Muhamma Hassan and Daivari are going to keep getting him heat. And while it goes relatively unnoticed on RAW from the big guys, it didn't in the Rumble. In a bit of booking that made sense, everyone ganged up on Hassan and tossed him. Then he had to deal with Sgt. Slaughter on RAW. I don't want to see Hassan this week. Not in the ring, not in a promo, nothing. I want an explanation from Daivari that his pride has been wounded, that he's angry, and that he's not going to tolerate this anymore.

Cue Scotty 2 Hotty. A very SERIOUS Scotty 2 Hotty. He gets in Daivari's face and tells him that he doesn't appreciate Muhammad Hassan costing him his shot in the Royal Rumble, and he most certainly doesn't appreciate the filth that they've been spewing on our airwaves. And he's got one more message for him - at which point he slaps Daivari in the teeth and walks off to a large pop.

The next week, there's a promo from Hassan on the Titantron. He's front and center, but just behind him and to the left, you can see an incredibly large man standing. Well, you can see his arm, along with half of his chest and stomach, but his face and other half of his body is cut off. Hassan lets us know that he's not going to tolerate the racism and the injustices thrown at him by the employees of World Wrestling Entertainment, and because of what happened at the Royal Rumble, he's hired someone to make sure he's not subjected to that ever again.

The next week comes around, and Daivari and Hassan are in the middle of the ring to start the 10 o clock hour. Hassan requests the presence of Scotty 2 Hotty regarding the assault of Daivari. Taylor makes no apologies, and in fact slaps both Hassan and Daivari in the mouth. Instead of retaliating physically, Hassan laughs and says "You'll wish you hadn't done that." The crowd erupts as Brock Lesnar hops the railing and enters the ring to assault Taylor. A clothesline, a powerbomb, and an F-5, and an example has been made. He doesn't smile, he doesn't look angry, he looks almost sullen as Hassan makes us aware of his new bodygaurd. "You'll wish you hadn't done that" becomes Hassan's tagline and cue for Brock to spring into action.

The weeks go on, and without fail, Brock is the catalyst for much of Hassan's success. He allows Hassan to say what he wants, do what he wants, go where he wants, without fear of retribution. When someone questions Brock about why he's supporting such a wicked man, he simply looks at them for a moment before turning to follow Hassan. We get to Wrestlemania, where Hassan wins the Intercontinental Championship from Shelton Benjamin, via interference from Brock Lesnar. With gold around his waist, he's even more brash and bold than ever before.

Summerslam is coming up, and Hassan is on fire. He's tearing through everyone that's put in front of him, with or without Brock's help. The hate speech evolves from just Americans to essentially anyone that doesn't share his views, and William Regal takes offense. He provides a little more of a threat than Hassan wants to deal with, so he sics Brock on him. During the beatdown, Eugene comes out for the "save". Muhammad is incensed and orders Brock to destroy Eugene as well. Brock isn't thrilled on the idea, and hesitates. Hassan continues barking orders, and Brock starts moving in for the kill after some delay. Before he can, though, Christy Hemme has come to Eugene's aid.

She's tearful, she's the damsel in distress, she's pleading with Brock. Brock closes his eyes and is seething as Hassan and Daivari are both barking orders at him, telling him to destroy Eugene AND Christy. It gets louder and louder, more intense, more insane, just like something out of a Tarentino flick, until Brock grabs the microphone from Hassan and simply says "No."

Eugene and Christy take their leave, Regal is carted out, and Daivari and Hassan are furious. They start verbally assaulting Brock again, Hassan calling him a "typical American with no respect for authority and no morals and no integrity." The end comes when he says "Just like I spit on your culture, I spit on you!" He makes a move that he immedately regrets, spitting a huge gob of..stuff..onto Brock's shirt. Daivari immediately silences and Hassan starts pleading. Brock simply says "You'll wish you hadn't done that" before delivering an F-5 to Hassan, and doing the same to Daivari as he tries to escape.

We find out later that Hassan bought Brock's contract from the Vikings to bring him back to the WWE, and was employing him. As his source of income, Brock didn't have much choice to go along with it. But at Summerslam, we revive a classic gimmick match. Brock wins, Hassan is forced to take part in some Patriotic somethingorother and Brock is free to do as he pleases. Hassan wins, Brock goes back into servitude for another 90 days.

How does that one end? Well, I'll leave that part up to you. My work here is done. Let me know what you thought - loved it, hated it, indifferent. I enjoy all feedback. You can reach me at [e-mail] or on AIM at gavdaddy2004. Thanks for reading. See you on Wednesday with Ask 411 v3.0. God Bless.