News From Cook's Corner: 02.13.05
Posted by Steve Cook on 02.13.2005
For a “slow” news week I sure have a lot of stuff here. Hooray me!
Hi folks! It’s Sunday, which means it’s time once again for some News from Cook’s Corner. I’m Cook, and I’m still trying to hit on the proper formula for the opening to a news column. I’m sure I’ll figure out something eventually. Coming up I have news about the Rock, Brock Lesnar, the Diva Search whores and TNA’s PPV Against All Odds, which we will be covering LIVE tonight.
And for those of you wondering where my TNA Impact Insight is at, it’s coming up later today. I was unable to submit said recap yesterday because I went to a basketball game and UofL just isn’t as good at winning by 40 as they used to be. These things happen. I apologize for your wait, and hope you enjoy TNA Impact Insight later today right here on 411mania.com!
Wow, I managed to go 6 months on this site without having to do one of my columns late. That’s got to be some kind of a record, right?
Now for some News from Cook’s Corner…
WWE news
The Rock’s contract was up with WWE last year and he is apparently finished with them. In an interview with Playboy Magazine, Rock said that he had to choose between wrestling and acting and wanted to give 110% to acting. There are no hard feelings between him and Vince McMahon.
Ha, I bet whoever broke that “story” a few weeks back about Rock wanting to bring Sting in for WM 21 and getting rejected feels like a major tool now. It’s a shame that Rock is moving on, but at least he’s made the transition to movies and is doing well at it, unlike some other wrestler guy who used to make movies. What was his name again?
Brock Lesnar has filed a lawsuit against WWE, claiming that the no-compete clause he signed on his way out the door for the NFL prevents him from earning a living. I didn’t know there was a provision saying he couldn’t flip burgers at McDonald’s.
Sorry, I have no sympathy for a man who walked out on a company that bent over backwards to make him a star. Hell, I think it’s funny that he signed something that won’t allow him to wrestle until 2010. Good job, Brock!
Amy Weber quit WWE last week after the Smackdown tapings in Japan. She was not well liked by the wrestlers, much like the other diva whores brought in for some ungodly reason. Her reason for leaving was ribbing by the other wrestlers…you know, I hate to play devil’s advocate, but what kind of big tough wrestler man ribs a little diva whore? Anyway, she also drew some heat when she demanded a whole row of seats to herself during the flight to Japan due to “back pain”. WWE was dumb enough to give it to her, which didn’t exactly please the other wrestlers flying in coach.
Coach? WWE’s a big time company and the best they can do is coach? Jeez, that’s pathetic. As for Weber, she brought very little to the table and this wouldn’t hurt WWE a damn bit…though for some reason they’re apparently trying to get her to stay. Why?
The WWE person receiving the most attention this week was probably Candace Michelle, who appeared in the godaddy.com commercial at Super Bowl XXXIX. Apparently she’s like the Raw makeup artist, or something equally lame. She appeared on several TV shows and whatnot, so I guess that counts for something. Maybe. Whatever happened to like female wrestlers? I remember when their makeup artist was like some fat chick or something. Oh, and she was also in some kind of adult movie. Who cares?
In more useless diva whore news, Christy will be appearing naked in some future issue of Playboy. Call me when you’ve got Tracy Brooks, ok Hef? That, I’ll pay for.
Playboy’s not earning any points with me recently because they expect me to join some sort of “Cyber Club” and pay money to see stuff. Who do they think I am, JBL? I’m not made of money! I needed to see a photo gallery to do research for this column, and they only sent me non-nude stuff for free. What the hell? They think I’m going to pay to see some useless diva whore naked? Get real! There are only 3 women in wrestling I’ll pay to see naked…Tracy, Victoria, & Trish. That’s it, that’s the list!
Damn, I went on way too long about that. There goes my moral reputation.
A rumored match for WrestleMania 21 is Big Show vs. Akebono. No word on if they’ll bring in the U.S.S. Intrepid for it because it’s the only thing that could hold that kind of weight.
Wow, I wonder how many people remember the U.S.S. Intrepid being involved on a wrestling show. I’m really dating myself with these kinds of references.
Super Crazy is expected to debut with WWE once his hand heals from injury. I loved that guy in ECW, and hopefully they let him and Tajiri have a match or two because those guys had some classics back in the day. Woot!
John Cena is being considered for the new Predator movie. Does anybody else remember when John Cena wrestled? I swear he used to be really good at that. Really!
WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield married Fox News reporter Meredith Whitney yesterday. We at 411mania.com wish Mr. & Mrs. Layfield the best, and advise them to keep far away from Bill O’Reilly and his loofa mitt.
Finally, WWE Canada announced that they have started a new program called “WWE Underground”. College kids compete for an internship with WWE Canada by marketing the product. 411 has a connection here, as Fan Forum Moderator and former guest star in Grut’s column BLADE is entered in the competition. Good luck BLADE, make us proud!
TNA news
Against All Odds is tonight! You can catch Larry Csonka’s live coverage tonight right here on the 411, and then you can e-mail him and tell him how much it sucked, even though you didn’t see it. I know how you internet fans operate. ;)
Here’s the card for the event from Orlando…
Iron Man X Division Title match
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Christopher Daniels
NWA World Title match
Leonard (c) vs. Mr. Fingerpoke
NWA World Tag Team Title match
America’s Most Wanted (c) vs. Kid Kash & Lance Hoyt
Full Metal Mayhem
The Charismatic Enema vs. Abyss
Monty Brown & DDP vs. Bobby Roode & Sco…er, Eric Young
Dustin Rhodes vs. Raven
Elix Skipper vs. Petey Williams
B.G. James & Jeff Hammond vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian
Preshow match:
Team Traci & Team Trinity in action
Scott Hall was originally scheduled to team with Bobby Roode against Brown & Page, but he was removed from the match Thursday. Rumor has it that it had something to do with him getting drunk off his ass in Korea a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t seen any official word on this, and TNA hasn’t said anything about it other than to change the match listing on their website.
The Blue Collar TV episode featuring A.J. Styles, Jarrett & other TNA talent will be airing this Friday on the WB. Git-r-done! Speaking of which, tonight Comedy Central is airing the 2nd Blue Collar Tour movie. Hopefully it’ll be as funny as the first one.
Johnny Swinger received his release from TNA. His next move will be to go to Ring of Honor and win their title. Hey, that’s not such a bad idea…he’d be crazy over as a heel there if he played up his previous association with an actual wrestling promotion.
Other wrestling news
There wasn’t really a whole lot else going on outside WWE & TNA last week, outside of ROH’s booker flying off the handle on his message board because someone dared to question his greatness as a booker and a promoter. I think sometime I’ll do a section where I talk about various message boards from official promotion ones to 411’s to the many spinoffs. Blame Larry for shamelessly plugging his in the 3Rs and giving me the idea. But not today though, because I’m lazy.
Muwhahahahahaha
I will say this though: if Dave Schilling thinks TNA fans are bad, he’s never been to the ROH website. They put ECW Kool-Aid drinkers like me to shame. Bunch of damn marks who think they’re smart because they rate matches with asterisks like Dave Meltzer, J.D. Dunn, and any other recapper besides me and Csonka. Gabe’s got a good racket going there, I gotta give him credit where credit is due. Anytime you can brainwash a bunch of smart marks into accepting you as their God, you’re doing SOMETHING right.
This Week in Wrestling History
Every week I’ll take a look back at an important event in the history of professional wrestling that happened on the week this column is published. This week we look back at an episode of Raw that didn’t air on a Monday, but still stands out as one of its most historical.
February 13th, 1997 – Due to the yearly Dog Show preempting them on Monday, and the fact that the WWF had a PPV the following Sunday that they really needed to sell, Thursday Raw Thursday aired live on the USA Network. It started off with a bang, as young up and comer Rocky Maivia upset Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the Intercontinental Title. This was Rocky’s first title in the WWF, and many expected this to put him over the top with the fans. Unfortunately it was too much too soon, and the fans turned against him. Chants like “Die Rocky Die” became prevalent in arenas across the country, and young Maivia would soon become bitter and adopt the persona of “The Rock”. He ended up doing pretty well for himself. Helmsley would eventually rebound by winning the 1997 King of the Ring tournament. That victory would be the beginning of his ascension to the upper card, a place that he has called home for several years now as Triple H.
I’d be lying if I expected both Maivia & Helmsley to become as big as they are. Rocky had some potential, but he needed more experience, and he came off too much like a kissass. Helmsley had some talent, but I never saw him getting any higher than the mid-card. I wasn’t alone on that though, so I don’t feel too bad.
But that wasn’t the only historical event this night…Shawn Michaels gave one of the most ridiculous speeches of all time and vacated the WWF title due to an alleged knee injury. He claimed that he had lost his smile. I guess that’s what happens when you’re supposed to lose to Bret Hart. HBK apologists often forget that Michaels pulled this shit to get out of losing the title in February 1997…and people still wonder why Bret didn’t want to do the job for him on his way out. Had HBK not made this speech, the whole Montreal incident might never have happened. Interesting, isn’t it?
My Top 25 Favorite Wrestlers of All Time
As a few of you might know, Larry Csonka is doing this deal in his news column where he lists the Top 25 Favorite Wrestlers as voted by his readers. Since my column is not established enough yet to do contests or to have regular readers, I thought it would be fun if I went over the ballot I cast for Csonka’s contest one by one each week, to compare my votes to the votes of his public.
At #23 for the public was Arn Anderson. Anderson was a great wrestler, in fact I’ll be talking about him in a couple weeks. This week though, I’m talking about my #23, who was Jake “The Snake” Roberts.
My first memories of wrestling happened during the buildup for SummerSlam 1990. I don’t remember watching before then, but I do remember my taste in wrestlers didn’t quite match the mainstream. Two of my earliest wrestling items outside of my WWF bed sheets were a Million Dollar Man Wrestling Buddy and a Jake “The Snake” Roberts school folder and notebook.
Jake seemed so cool to me. Maybe it was the snake that first drew my attention, but even back then I knew that that man knew what he was doing in a wrestling ring. He always managed to outsmart the poor preliminary wrestlers, hit the DDT, and then put his snake on them. I was pissed when Rick Martel sprayed the Arrogance in his eyes, and I still haven’t forgiven Rick Martel as a wrestler for it. Even when he turned heel on the Ultimate Warrior, I still thought he was really cool, and as good as it got in a wrestling ring. Then he left WWF and appeared in WCW, attacking Sting. He was on one of the very first WCW shows I watched, and I realized that if Jake Roberts attacked Sting, Sting must be an important guy. Unfortunately Jake didn’t last long there. He had some hard times, but then I was excited when he returned to the WWF for the 1996 Royal Rumble.
A month or so afterward I got to see him in the main event at a Monday Night Raw taping. It was my first wrestling show live, and the main event was him & The Undertaker vs. Diesel & Shawn Michaels. UT & Diesel ended up fighting to the back before the match even started. I didn’t know what was going to happen since Jake & Shawn were both good guys, but they decided to go at it. I got to see one of my first favorites go up against one of my favorites at that time. I was torn, but mostly I just enjoyed it. Shawn won, but Jake looked good in there, and it seemed like he was on the road back to prominence.
Unfortunately Jake’s demons caught up with him, and he has seemingly never really recovered from them. He appeared on Heroes of Wrestling in a pathetic state, then wowed people with his insanity in Beyond the Mat. It was sad to see how far my favorite wrestler at the age of 6 had fallen.
It’s still sad. Jake Roberts should have been a lot higher on my list, but with the way he’s fallen in recent years, I just can’t justify rating him any higher than 23. He was truly one of the greatest wrestlers of his era, but never quite got up to that championship level. In fact, I don’t think he ever won a single title in the WWF.
He didn’t need to though. Jake “The Snake” was a dangerous man, and the people loved him for it. Sadly, he was too dangerous for his own good.
Be sure to check out Larry’s column next week for #22, and I’ll be back next week with a man whose career had a happier ending than Jake’s.
Plugs
Will says the MOTW might become bi-weekly. Poor Will…he’s bi a lot of things, but weekly isn’t one of them.
Nute & Sfornica talk about Your Olympic Hero. It’s true!
Dunn reviews Mr. DVD, RVD. Oh, and he can have Jennifer Garner. She’s hot and all, but I refuse to take Ben Affleck’s leftovers. I gotta have my principles!
For something outside wrestling, check out this nice piece by George H. Sirois on Major League & Major League 2. It’s a really good read, especially if you’ve seen both movies.
And I’ll pimp Rutherford’s Some Kind of Monster review because I still want to see it and haven’t. Blast!
Don’t forget the awesome TV reports and news reports here in the Wrestling Zone! All those guys have been stepping up recently and it’s all good stuff. Speaking of TV, go check out 411’s 10 Hottest Women in TV. Any list with Jeri Ryan at 8 and Charisma Carpenter at 10 is stacked.
And not just in that way.
Final Thought
Some of you might remember my first Sunday news column…seems so long ago now, doesn’t it? No? All righty…anyway, in that first column I pontificated in my Final Thought about how January 24th, 2005 would not be the most depressing day of the year, contrary to what a study at the time said. Looking back, it was a rather simple statement to make…and I didn’t even think about the day that hits us like a ton of bricks tomorrow.
That’s right…if you wanna talk about days that just scream “depression”, none does more than February 14th every year.
So, how do I usually celebrate Valentine’s Day? These days I usually mark the occasion by driving from my home to school. The nearly 2 hour drive keeps me focused on preventing my early demise slamming into another car than on that….stuff.
Some of you are lucky enough to have somebody to spend that day with. Some of you are lucky enough to have a significant other that cares. I don’t really know how that feels, but I’m guessing it’s not so bad. Although the monetary cost might not be too fun it probably beats the hell out of the whole alone thing.
But don’t get me wrong here…I’m not asking for pity. No, I realize that some people were meant to be alone. In fact, I usually end up going slightly crazy when I’m not. So don’t take this as some sort of rant about how chicks don’t dig me in that kind of way. I’ve managed to get over that in the last couple years or so, no matter how much my friends would claim otherwise. Being alone does have its advantages. No responsibilities, no forgetting important dates, no nagging…it’s not all bad. Besides, somebody around here has to live up to the internet wrestling journalist stereotype, and why shouldn’t it be me?
All I ask is that I go through Valentine’s Day without seeing people being happy and rubbing my face in it. Is that really too much to ask?
Don’t forget about 411mania.com’s EXCLUSIVE AGAINST ALL ODDS COVERAGE TONIGHT! LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE! BE THERE OR LARRY WILL KICK YOUR ASSSSSSSSSSHISH!
