wrestling / Columns

The 8 Ball 08.07.13: Top 8 Wrestlers Who Should Retire

August 7, 2013 | Posted by David McGregor

Hello and welcome to another edition of the 8 Ball for the wrestling section of 411, I am your host David McGregor. I just moved to London and haven’t had a decent sleep in 8 days, so no witty quip this week!

This week I am doing the Top 8 Wrestlers That Need to Retire Immediately, and mostly not come back. This was supposed to be the WCW article this week, but if Moffat is allowed to lie then dammit so am I!

Top 8 Wrestlers that Need to Retire Immediately

Honourable Mentions

Chavo Guerrero
Mick Foley
Eric Bischoff
Tito Ortiz (Wow that was a terrible unveiling.)

8th Place – Triple H

I think Triple H is still a great performer in the ring. I was one of the people who absolutely adored his Wrestlemania 27 match with The Undertaker, and thought the rematch was a worthy sequel. So this pick isn’t so much that Triple H has gotten unbearable or anything, I just feel that if Hunter is going to take over the WWE completely he will need to be an inactive member of the roster.

I think for the audience, and the backstage staff and wrestlers, there does need to be a definite split between Triple H the boss and Triple H the wrestler. I think the only way we are going to accept that is for Triple H to go fully corporate. IF he doesn’t then there is a sort of awkwardness in which he is both a wrestler and an authority figure, it sort of feels fake that he is in charge. The reason Vince McMahon is so success in that boss role is because every single person knows he is the real boss. Sure Vince gets into the ring every now and again but we still know he is going to a creative meeting directly after. With Triple H it feels like a fake commissionership like Mick Foley or Sgt Slaughter, they need to distance him from the wrestler identity.

I kind of want Triple H to take over the WWE fairly soon, because every major change he tries to make has been exactly what the audience is looking for. Definitely not enough to sort out a lot of the problems the WWE has, but it is getting there.

7th Place – Ric Flair

I know Ric Flair is sort of retired from active competition, but I want Flair to retire completely from wrestling. The man has done so much for the industry and he is one of my all time favourites, but this isn’t 1989 and living the Nature Boy lifestyle healthy or worth it anymore. I don’t think Ric Flair’s personal life has been stable for the last 20 years, and that has always been because wrestling has been his main priority. That’s not me making massive assumptions, there are interviews with David Flair in which he says Flair was gone for weeks at a time and barely saw any of his kids growing up. That’s the type of thing Ric Flair should be making up for at his age, not doing the rounds on WWE TV and any other live show that will take him. I know the guy has to make money somehow, but if he still weren’t trying to be the Nature Boy of 1989 then maybe he wouldn’t need all those massive paychecks.

Then there are the constant rumours of Flair getting back into the ring and wrestling. That’s the last thing a man of his age needs, which is why I think its best that Flair just completely retires and enjoys the fruits of his long labour. If there is any of it left.

6th Place – Big Show

When a character has changed face and heel more times that you can count, there is a serious question of whether there is any point continuing? The Big Show is a magnificent sight and athlete, but there just isn’t much more you can do with him that hasn’t already been done. He has been a funny face and fought off the bad guys, and he has been the evil monster that every good guy has managed to topple at one point. What else is there left to prove? Or even accomplish?

The Big Show is also advancing in age, and while he is far from the physical mess that Andre The Giant is in, that has to be taking its toll on his body. For his own health he is better leaving sooner rather than later. Also Big Show is one of the most protected men in the business, there is a lot of people that could use the Big Show rub. Yet not enough of them get it, so why should a battered and overused star still be a focal point of WWE TV. I think for his own good, and the good of the WWE product Big Show should retire.

5th Place – Jerry Lawler

I love Jerry Lawler to bits, and even though it was one of the worst matches in Wrestlemania history I was very pleased that Lawler got his Wrestlemania moment. But that feeling all changed when Lawler had his heart attack at the announce desk. From that moment on I definitely wanted to see Lawler back on WWE TV, but I never wanted to see him in a WWE ring ever again. I know that The King loves the business and wants to wrestle until the day he dies, but there are some things much more important than a rather homoerotic predetermined sport.

I read reports online that Lawler stepped back into the ring in his hometown of Memphis, and it is amazing that he can still do that after what happened. But it definitely isn’t worth him losing his life for. The King needs to retire from active competition, I don’t care whether that is in the WWE or Memphis or any other show.

4th Place – Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan hasn’t been wrestling in a TNA ring for quite some time, but that doesn’t mean to say he hasn’t been all over the TV in other ways both wrestling and disturbing ways. In the past 10 years Hogan has gone from pop culture icon to pathetic shell of his former self, and I don’t want to be that mean but the guy has a sex tape for god sake!

Hogan is a constant on Impact, and all he does on that show is further deteriorate his image. Not because it’s TNA or anything, just by making stupid decisions and claiming to be there to save TNA and bring them into the major leagues. Safe to say he hasn’t done anything like that. But every week he comes out like the authority figures of the show, one of millions, and slowly chips away further at the image he spent his life creating.

Then there are the activities he partakes in outside of wrestling. Hogan has always been a shameless promoter but it was done in way that somehow kept his dignity, now that seems to have been completely ripped away from him. The sex tape, the nasty divorce and even the horribleness of Nick Hogan crashing that car, these have all added to the terrible reputation Hulk Hogan has now. The best thing possible is for Hogan to retire immediately and stay out of the public eye. Even mainstream media outlets see Hogan’s image as completely tarnished, and if some of those rags can think that you know you have a problem.

3rd Place – Kane

Firstly I will start by saying I don’t understand the big appeal of Kane. I never thought he was WWE Championship material and I never understood why a lot of people on the internet were clamouring for Kane to be pushed to the heavens. Was it because he got crappy storylines? If that was the case Tim White should be Undisputed WWE World Champion.

Kane used to be a good hand to have around, and there were moments in which he did a lot of good stuff. But except the Daniel Bryan comedy skits, Kane hasn’t done anything worth note in quite some time. That’s a bit of a lie because he has done noteworthy stuff but it has just been absolutely horrendous. From putting the mask back on and going into the worst Cena feud I have ever seen, and I watched Cena v Khali! The whole thing was just mind numbing. And worst of all it tried to make Zack (WWE dropped the ball with me, poor me!) Ryder into some kind of star, in the worst possible way!

I’m not saying that Kane isn’t a good hand to have around, he is a known figure and isn’t completely out of shape yet. But he seems to have lost all fire (no pun intended) that he once had for wrestling. There doesn’t seem to be any genuine enthusiasm for anything he does anymore, except at times with Daniel Bryan but that is definitely a one off. There has just been nothing from Kane in a very long time to even justify his spot on the roster. The guy is quite healthy and doesn’t seem like a crazed spender, I think he should retire and enjoy what he has created.

2nd Place – Rey Mysterio

It isn’t a news week without there being a Rey Mysterio story, one minute he is leaving the WWE and the next minute he is injured for months. Mysterio is the definition of disgruntled employee, and one that seems to have lost all love for his livelihood. There was a time when Rey seemed to have a true vigour for life in the WWE, and then something seemed to change after his first violation of the wellness policy in 2007. When Rey came back from that he was noticeable more injury prone, and has been injured a ridiculous amount of times in the past 5 years. I honestly don’t think there has been a good run for Rey Mysterio since his terrible World Title run back in 2006. Each run since has ended in injury or suspension for breach of the wellness policy.

Rey’s attitude seems to have gotten a lot more vocal since his run with the World Title, and this has lead to several bust ups with the WWE management team. There have been various points that Rey has allegedly been close to calling it quits and retiring. This added onto the continuous breach of the wellness policy and the deteriorating performance in the ring leads anyone to wonder if it is better than Rey just doesn’t return once again? I honestly would rather remember the Rey Mysterio from 2002 than the pissed off slow version we have in 2013, or whenever he returns.

1st Place – Jeff Hardy

The moment Jeff Hardy came down the ramp on the Victory Road TNA PPV completely out of his mind on whatever drug he should have been fired or retired. Jeff Hardy was a drug addict that made it extremely vocal to the entire world that night, and lost a ton of respect from a lot of people. And yet TNA let him back, and made an angle out of it by crowning him TNA Champion! What a load of crap.

Jeff Hardy used to be one of the most entertaining people in wrestling, he was stealing the show from the biggest stars of all time at one point. Now due to a drug addiction he has screwed up his career more times than I care to count, and yet people keep giving him chances again and again. There doesn’t seem to be any massive attempt to really change his life away from that part of his life, and yet TNA still promote him 6 months later (never known someone to beat drugs so fast) as on his way to redemption.

The guy is a waste of space and never deserved the spot he was in. There was a time he deserved everything the wrestling world could throw at him, but he just threw it all away. Broken down and a bad attitude means that Jeff Hardy really just needs to retire.

Until Next Week! This has been the 8 Ball by David McGregor!

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