The 10th Day News Report 5.25.05

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 05.25.2005

The only column on 411 to bring you Turkish oil wrestling

MAILBAG

Kane ALWAYS goes up top. The flying clothesline?

Maven Dean Team Names:

1. Tough Shit - you'll probably get that one a lot
2. The Purple Pills
3. Infomercial
4. Eh, These (guys) Suck
-Matthew

Thanks to Chris too for pointing out Kane’s flying clothesline. After you guys wrote in I first thought to myself that Kane doesn’t go for the flying clothesline that much. Then I thought about it a little more and realized that yeah, he does. So thanks for the correction.

I like Tough Shit for a team name. I was trying to spin Dean Maven into something akin to Dean Martin, but even I’m not that psychotic.

Yo, Leonard, whats up man? I recently just picked up the new Stuff Magazine with Stacy Keibler on it and I must say that she looked pretty damn good, but at the same time the interview made her look stupid as hell. As much as I like Stacy, there was another girl featured in stuff who really caught my eye. Her name is Gabrielle Tuite and she works on the Price is Right as a stunning hostess. Her pics were absolutely phenomenal man, and I wouldn't mind spinning her wheel a couple of times. Thanks for an awesome column.
Keep up the good work. You and Larry C. are really doing the damn thizang in 411mania.
Peace
-Randy

I think the interview made her sound about fifteen years old. Men want our women beautiful, yet stupid. Tuite is your classic statuesque blonde. I would like to see that show of hers they mentioned where she tricks high rolling gamblers into plucking down major swag on her. I’m sure there is an episode where she goes after a gay guy and another where the guy is a real prick and tries to play her. If a girl ever comes up to you in a bar and says to buy her a drink, reply with “why don’t you buy me a drink.” It works every time.

Man Leonard, I hope that somehow, someway WWE can work some type of plan out with Joey Styles to host the ECW PPV. Here's why. Ok, lets say JR hosted it or Michael Cole hosted it. Everytime a wrestler went to do a dangerous spot that would be hazardous to their health, we'd be listening to JR go, "Beniot no! BY Gawd No! DAMNIT NO! DON'T DO THIS", YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME". And Cole would be sayin some shit like "Eddie please don't do this, come down from there. Oh No. Folks, I don't what to tell you". Man, that shit is wack and it wouldn't sound right on an ECW show. They need someone like Joey Styles who is going to endorse that shit and not panic everytime a wrestler hits a bigtime spot. There have been rumors going around the net saying that Tazz might host the show. Tazz is a perfectly good color man, but I don't know how he would do as a host.

Speaking of Tazz, I would like to talk briefly about him on SD! You know I'm getting real tired of all this bullshit between commentators getting along. Its ok to get along and agree with the PBPM is saying, but when you listen to WWE it gets redundant. Tazz and Cole agree on almost every single thing. LAME! THE KING SUCKS AS A HEEL NOWADAYS and usually takes JR's side on almost every little thing unless it involves HHH. Sure, The King will have a few tight punchlines, but most of his shit is wack. This brings me to Tazz. I think that Tazz is an awesome color man, but I don't he's a great heel commentator. You know, just b/c you diss fuckin Michael Cole, a little goatee piece of shit, doesn't make you a heel commentator. A heel commentator is suppose to defend the heels. Tazz doesn't defend the heels to the highest degree and that’s why he's wack as a heel commentator man. He doesn't a backbone on shit. One night he'll be praising JBL, the next night he'll be praising Cena, Eddie, Guerrero and then his opinion changes again and again. Jesse Ventura and Bobby Heenan were great heel commentators b/c they had backbones, they were funny, and they were witty with their shit. Tazz gets in a good joke every once in a while, but he's not as funny as King, Heenan or Jesse. A couple of weeks ago on SD! when Eddie Guerrero abandoned Rey Mysterio in his hour of need and he was getting his ass whipped by MNM, I think that Tazz could've STEPPED HIS GAME UP AND DEFENDED EDDIE'S ACTIONS. I really enjoyed RR 1994 and the way Ted Dibiase pimped Owen Hart for turning heel on Bret Hart. I would have loved to see Tazz apply that concept to the Eddie Guerrero/Mysterio storyline, but no, he has to agree with Michael Cole on EVERY single little thing. The WWE needs to hire me and my gang of talented commentators. Sometimes, during our spare time, we write commentarie's for WWF PPV's and shit. We've got our shit locked down pat too baby. We have heel commentators, face PBPs, your commentators who like to be buddy, buddy with the PBP. Let me give you an example of how I would have pimped the Eddie/Guerrero Rey Mysterio angle when Eddie abandoned MNM. Man, just pretend the cussing isn't there. I realize that if I ever got hired by WWE that I'd have to tone down the language alot. But try to just read it without the cussing.

HELL FUCKIN YEAH!
"THATS RIGHT!! LEAVE HIM LAYIN ON HIS ASS EDDIE!! YOU DON'T NEED REY MYSTERIO!! EDDIE GUERRERO IS BETTER WITHOUT REY AND WITHOUT THESE FANS. HE DOESN'T NEED THEM! THIS MAN IS A FORMER INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, FORMER TAG-TEAM CHAMPION, FORMER EUROPEAN CHAMPION AND FORMER WWE CHAMPION!! I say leave Mysterio high and dry. Oh too bad, LITTLE MYSTERIO IS GETTING A BEATDOWN BY MNM. SO WHAT. Eddie, this man cost you the WWE title against Angle. He's the reason why you're not in that fatal fourway matchup. You don't need this guy. Fuck him. Look at Mysterio lying down on the mat, crying like a little bitch on the outside. "Eddie, my La Familia left me. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. What do you want to do Rey Rey? Have Eddie put a bandage on it and make it better". Eddie doesn't want you in his life anymore. HE'S ON HIS OWN B/C HE'S A FORMER WWE CHAMPION. TAG-TEAM TITLES, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, EDDIE IS TRYING TO CAPTURE THE WWE TITLE ONCE AGAIN. HE DOESN'T NEED THIS LITTLE SHIT IN HIS PATH. LOOK AT
MYSTERIO, CRYING, MY LA FAMILIA LEFT ME.WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. TOO BAD HOMES".

That’s how I would have pimped that storyline and I would have defended Eddie through the whole damn angle as well. Look, I'm gonna send you one of the PPV rants that me and some of my very talented friends have put together and you tell me how you like it. I'm sorry for the long e-mail and I realize that I should have expressed all of this stuff to you in the first e-mail, but I wasn't thinking about it at the time.
Keep up the good work. I like your humor on the WWE newsbites. It reminds me a little of Josh Grut.
Peace.
-Randy

I read the ppv rant you sent. I have to say that Michael Cole has nothing to worry about. As Emo Phillips told me a comedian who uses swearing to get his point across is like a martial arts expert who needs a gun. Same thing here. Now I agree that the heel color man seems to be dead and that’s a shame. WWE might be well served by going to a three man booth. One of the best commentating teams ever was on the early RAW’s with Vince McMahon doing impartial, straight play by play, Rand Savage as a face color man and Heenan as a heel analyst. Even though there were clear lines drawn between Savage and Heenan they still did a great job of getting the individual guys over and relating the story of the match. I said a while back that I really liked Coach when he called RAW because he was the pure heel to Lawler’s defacto face and it was very fresh. JR’s best work in the past ten years was easily when he had Heyman to play off of. The problem is that the fans sort of turned Tazz and Lawler into faces, but they did the same to Ventura and Heenan to an extent. The difference is that they didn’t play into it. It’s also not that having two faces or two impartial guys on the microphone doesn’t work. Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle were the best team ever for getting the essence of a match across and explaining elements in a way fans could understand while giving everything a grand aire. It happened when WCW got big. Commentators became obsessed with hyping everything else, but the match right in front of them.

Leonard-
Do you realize that your column now mostly consists of readers' emails? You should write your own column. If you want us to know all of Manu Bomb's thoughts on everything wrestling related, talk to Ashish and get him a column. Then I can decide if I want to read him. This is just my opinion. I like your columns, except for the fantasy thing stuff, 6 pages of emails and the EWR stuff. I stuck with that for a while, but I couldn't any longer. You put a lot of effort into it, but I don't have the time to read it anymore. I do enjoy your RAW thoughts and your funny comments after news bits.
You probably should put your comments AFTER your newsource, though. It looks
like your source is making the comments.
Sorry to criticize, just wanted you to know which parts of your column are being read.
Thanks
FBinTEX

This has been addressed before. If I’m getting so much feedback it means that a lot of people are finding a lot to comment on in the column. While this is supposed to technically be a ‘news column’ all of the daily flagship writers basically have free reign to do what they want in order to create a unique and wide ranging entertainment experience. I want to give those who write in an opportunity to express their voices, whether I agree with them, feel they ramble on or are complete idiots. From you to Manu Bumb below and Randy above. I do edit some of the emails if no real points are made or are redundant to other emails, but I try to let the bulk stand. I do thank you for the feedback and hopefully this will encourage some of the people who write in to edit themselves before they do so. I attempt to thread my comments into the news bits. So often I see someone post an item and then comment on it and that doesn’t play well for me. You do make a very salient point on that, so I’ll take some tweaking into consideration.

Leonard,
Just thought I would let you know that Jerry Lawler was denied by the military because of high blood pressure. He was drafted and wanted to go but failed the physical. That's why J.R. made that comment. The King talks about it in his autobiography. Also, do you know if Rhyno has been invited to the ECW ppv?

Brett

Thanks also to Manu Bumb for that information on Jerry Lawler. He couldn’t join the military because of high blood pressure, but has spent thirty years in the wrestling ring?

Rhyno and WWE didn’t part under the best of circumstances so it’s doubtful he will be at One Night Only. He could appear at Shane Douglas’ Hardcore show though. Nothing has been announced officially on him on either front from what I know.

Christian was classic backstage, and I was very glad to hear that it's not over yet. Hopefully we get a ppv match between the two [and Flair], so it can last longer. Just give them the same amount of time HBK and Benjamin had, and we'll get an awesome match.

I was glad when Stevie Richards showed up, and amazed that they didn't have Chris Masters look strong against him. I mean, sure, Stevie attacked him from behind and was crazy and all, but it's Stevie Richards - when did they start caring about him? Maybe next week there'll be a bWo reunion...probably on Heat...but that would still be fun to see.

- I’m interested to see how the month long mixing of talent goes. It’s a good one night idea, but I don’t know about stretching it out. If you want the two rosters back together, just put them back together.

I think what hurts it (for me, at least) is that each show will only have one pick per week, until the final week, when each show has two. Granted, 5 picks per show per week would...well, just about switch the rosters, but they're trying something new, so I'll wait and see.

-That commercial with Darth Vader and the Burger King is one of the creepiest damn things I’ve ever seen.

One of the many reasons I won't go back to BK...that and they f'd up my order the last two times I went....

-I preferred Kane and Lita together as the happy and creepy couple. It was different.

Me too. I can see it now - Saturday's Night Main Event next October, Halloween at Kane and Lita's house...sure, not as funny as Piper's house back in the day, but I'd watch it. But now that Edge and Lita are together, there goes that dream. She'll probably just play ring rat to Edge's crazy-man character.

- Our EWR gimmick for Rob Conway is basically that he swears a lot, jobs out idiots and in general acts like an asshole who enjoys being an asshole.

I could see that working. Regardless, he'll be a welcome addition to the Smackdown US Title division. Right now, they have no one. Sure, there's OJ, Rene, Kenzo, Matt Morgan (eventually)...but none of them are really good. Hopefully Conway will pick it up a bit.

- I encourage everyone to go and buy a Matt Hardy shirt just to mess with the Vince’s mind.

Just checked, and the shirts are still there. As an aside, an RVD shirt is also on sale.
Apparently no one gets higher than RVD...ya know, if they're going to acknowledge it in his shirt, and his finishing move (when he was with Rey), why not just let him be a stoner on camera?

-Kane’s infatuation with Lita started around this time last year, so as far as continuous storyline arcs goes that would have to be the longest running at current. Although back in the days storylines would run for years at a time with multiple tangents.

Back in the day? You sound almost as old as me. I liked the 80s, I liked the late 90s, heck, I even liked the early 90s at the time. As for longest running storylines - does Evolution count? or Ric Flair being HHH's errand boy?

You might like the fact that Kurt wants to sleep with Sharmell, but that caught me completely off guard. I was happy with the feud where it was - Angle hit booker with a chair and eliminated him from the 4-way match, then Booker came back and hit angle with a chair, eliminating him. That was enough for me. I'm not saying the new twist is bad, because I generally like storylines, just caught me off guard.

So, if Kurt's vice is gutter-sluts...........think anyone in WWE creative remembers him and Steph having a fling in 2000? Heh....he and Jericho should run into each other, and Jericho should comment on that....and have HHH in the background laughing....
-Manu Bumb

They’ve elevated Hurricane and Rosey recently, so why not Stevie Richards. Maybe Val Venis can get a new push. With Masters it almost seems like no legitimate person on the roster wants to put him over. So they feed him jobbers and plants for the Masterlock challenge. They want a real feud and have to dig up poor Stevie.

An angle with Edge and Lita would be that they hook back up with Gangrel in order to counteract Kane’s demonic powers. That would inevitably lead to that Viscera vs. Gangrel match everybody is clamoring for. Well, I think it would be neat.

The worst fast food screw up I ever had was at McDonald’s. I went through the drive-thru and got a value meal for me and a Happy Meal for my niece and I got a sack of seven fish fillets. Every Burger King I’ve ever been in just seems dirty and that’s why the food is so good.

RVD I think has the unspoken gimmick of a stoner. What’s his gimmick otherwise? It’s how the Godfather was a pimp, but they never actually used the word ‘pimp’ toward him. There are still a lot of kids in the audience and they have to steer clear of some direct elements.

Evolution and Ric Flair being Triple H’s bitch are just long running character arcs and established story elements. It’s not one long, coherent storyline. Now Batista vs. Triple H has been going on since Orton was turfed out after SummerSlam last year.

The way I read the Kurt Angle vs. Booker T feud is that Angle realizes the way to get to Booker is through his wife and he’s just playing this ‘fetish’ card to throw him off his game. If Angle does get switched to RAW in the draft then his character will basically be rebooted and this storyline is moot. Bringing up his attraction to Stephanie though would be complete gold.

And who came for Ric's rescue? Triple H? no no no...it was BATISTA! Ok so once again they are playing around with the possibility if Flair turning on Trips, saying he wasn't there for him and Batista was, whether they are actually going to pull the trigger on it this time is yet to be seen. I think H is going to be back this Monday, surprise surprise, interfere with Batista's match with Edge to try and help Edge, then Kane will come out too and help Batista get the victory...then you get two fueds, one is Kane vs Edge on Vengeance which would give them another reason to stall Edge's money in the bank match...and they need good reasons for that or it would get pretty silly that Edge isn't taking it, so this way he can say he wants to take out Kane first so he doesn't interfere in his matches again. Only problem? We've seen that fued already before, and it wasn't pretty.

In addition, we get the Batista vs Triple H hell in the cell match, with Batista wanting revenge and saying he'll take Trips in either any kind of match and Trips chooses that, or Batista says he will take him in his own match to destroy him one last time.

I also think that if they manage to wait with Edge's shot and it's Royal Rumble time already, they are going to, and should, wait with it until Wrestlemania, it's going to give him a good excuse to say he has waited for so long he might as well wait a few more months so he can win it on the biggest show of the year. And in that case, our new champion come Wrestlemania is going to be Edge in my opinion. What about Orton?
-Ori

I agree that if they keep putting off Edge cashing in his money in the bank match that it becomes ridiculous. I would say that they would probably wait until Summer Slam. The next ppv already has been leaked to have Batista vs. Triple H in a hell in a cell match, so Edge vs. Kane makes a logical undercard. Then maybe they can get involved in the main event so for SummerSlam you get Triple H vs. Kane and Edge vs. Batista and that works for the top two RAW matches.

It’s not like they’re hot shotting the Flair and Batista angle. They’ve played it for awhile that Batista had the greatest respect for Flair and Flair was his mentor. They tried to work the same deal with Orton, but there’s more groundwork laid here.

I can see Orton going to Smackdown. He’s a good opponent for Cena and they can continue the Undertaker feud. Orton is really a bit played out on RAW and a roster switch I think would do him a world of good.

RAW THOUGHTS

-Lita is being too smarmy and egotistical here. To really give the angle that needed shades of gray area she has to portray herself as the injured party, not mockingly do so. She also lacks that sassy vibe that heel Trish Stratus does to really make this type of character work. That’s another problem, she’s basically playing the Trish character. Create something different. “No man could ever satisfy me, except one…Essa Rios!” Now Edge is playing it the way he should based on his established character. “You may call her a slut, but she’s my slut.” Right there tips it off that he’s just playing her for what she can do for him. They’re trying to keep this all kayfabe, but without the real life background this angle just seems confusing and too much a swerve. What was the deal with the guards, they never came into play? You figure Kane would come out and plow through them.

-I still don’t get Eric Bischoff’s hard on for ECW. I can’t think of another time where Bischoff has been at odds with ECW or even Paul Heyman. “I’ve got a funeral I’m in the middle of planning.” That made me laugh for some reason. Nice take by Bischoff on the “you going to Smackdown line.”

-They should cut to Chris Jericho eating cold cuts in the green room for “Best Week Ever,” then he slaps his forehead and runs out. Then they keep cutting back to Jericho trying to get to the arena, but he gets held up by various things. He signs autographs, karaokes at a bar, telling a dirty joke to cops at a donut shop, whatever. I can’t help it. JR referenced Tully Blanchard. You have to drink on Tully Blanchard. I think you could make the slingshot suplex a perfectly credible finisher again.

-“This show needs a charisma bypass.” “Who’s Mark Jindrak? I don’t know, but I can beat him.” Christian gets better by the week. He seriously needs switched to Smackdown. Who says that Edge can give away his money in the bank match? Wouldn’t the smart plan be to hold onto it in case he loses the belt between now and Wrestlemania next year?

-They need to get Chris Masters into a real feud. He’s treading water and the crowd seems apathetic toward him. Killing Stevie Richards again did nothing for him. If Richards squeaks out a win here and then gets destroyed post match Masters doesn’t lose any face, you elevate Stevie and you have a real feud.

-Even Sylvan Grenier get his knees up on the Lionsault. When was the last time he hit that cleanly? I’m interested to see what they do with this new character direction for him. It’s kind of like Rock’s Hollywood big shot character, but he’s playing it more straight and that’s where the shades of gray come in.

-The ECW funeral graphic gets the old school Undertaker’s theme? Bischoff said no more ECW commercials last week and we get one right before his funeral segment. Eric is doing his best to connect the dots. He should mention how he stole Mike Awesome from ECW and then turned him into a seventies goofball with a fetish for fat chicks. Vince McMahon isn’t lying as much as usual on his ECW rant. WWE did float them some cash and work a talent exchange. He did buy up the rights to all that was left when bankruptcy was declared. This is outside kayfabe, but Vince is doing a nice job of explaining the story to the fans and threading it in logically. Though if McMahon is bringing back ECW because of all the chants he hears does that mean the next special ppv will be Ric Flair and topless women. Vince should also point out that he drove the AWA, UWF and countless other federations into the ground too. Actually it would rock if Bill Watts, Verne Gagne and Jerry Jarrett all ran out and attacked the three of them.

-“Watched [ECW]? I invaded it.” That’s the coolest thing Lawler has ever said. Was Tajiri using extra lime Kool-Aid crystals on the mist? Benoit looks like a mutant snake man with the green face. Boo on him not going for the headbutt off the ladder to Tajiri laying on a table on the floor that he setup last week. That would have been a great payoff.

-Nice classy moment between Batista and Flair. I want to see where that goes too.

-Kane should bring Undertaker in to whip Edge’s ass. “Pain has always been my best friend, my only friend.” Ok, maybe he can team with Maxx Payne then.

-“Based on the events of last week, I came up with a theory. You like Lillian. I also believe that the sky is blue and shoes are to be worn on people’s feet.” Forcing Maria to steal him food was pimp as hell. Viscera showing his red boxers is not pimp.

-That was a great main event because it felt like a main event. There was a buzz to it and that’s what WWE needs. We all knew that Batista would retain, but there was still excitement and tension to it. The finish was bad though. This is just stupid for the referee to be out when there are five guys fighting in the ring. He should have rung the bell when he saw Flair lying in the ring. He counts a nearfall and then passes out again? Give me a break.

-We were without Triple H for a whole two weeks. Notice that ratings have been huge since he’s been gone. I hope this overrun gets zilch. It won’t help. Batista isn’t really being dissected, but that would be cool. Say have a guy called the Biology Major.

NEWS AND NOTES

Note: All below factual material is derived from the attributed source. Any additional comments, whether you find them funny or not, are personal additions and should bear no reflection on the validity of the imparted information or reliability of the source. This disclaimer not valid in Montana.
-Shawn Michaels has missed the past few weeks of television tapings and RAW house shows due to a knee injury. There is no word on when he will return to action or what roll he might play in the upcoming draft lottery. I’m still not sure what happened with the return of Marty Jannetty, but it would be cool to see him be put into action with the lottery. Credit: PWTorch.com

-CM Punk and Colt Cabana were backstage at RAW on Monday. They were both expected to be at the Smackdown taping last night as well. Credit: PWInsider.com

-Court Bauer has been confirmed as the newest member of the WWE creative team. He will be primarily working with the Smackdown brand. Bauer was the former owner of Major League Wrestling, which brought us such great events as….uh…check back with me later. Credit: PWInsider.com

-The Nelson Corporation in association with NWA Ohio (I live in Ohio and I’ve never heard of them) have announced their intentions to buy controlling interest of the NWA:TNA from Panda Energy. Specifics of the deal nor TNA’s response are known at this time. The negotiations are being led by Hacksaw Jim Duggan (I am so not making that up) and three ‘silent partners’ who are ponying up the cash for the deal.
Duggan: “Sell to us tough guy. HOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Jeff Jarrett: “Take a walk slap nuts. I’m the king of the mountain.”
*Hits Duggan with a guitar
*Duggan no sells
*Jarrett signs contract
Credit: nwaohio.com

-Brock Lesnar recently made statements concerning his law suit against the WWE in a recent interview. He is currently suing the company based on the no compete clause he signed to be let out of his contract as being unfair to him. He is prohibited from performing for any wrestling or sports entertainment based entity until 2010. The WWE claims that Lesnar leaving caused them damages due to the time and money they invested in him to make the former college star a superstar name in the industry. They are counter suing that Lesnar’s recent appearance at a New Japan show violated the agreement. Lesnar declares that he attended the show as a spectator and his room and board while in Japan were arranged by those outside of the New Japan organization. The WWE retorts that his appearance was advertised beforehand and he was announced to the crowd as being in attendance. Lesnar did admit to some talks with New Japan and also might look into competing in mixed martial arts. He is unsure if this would violate the WWE agreement. Lesnar originally left the company in order to pursue a career in the NFL which did not pan out. This just seems like Vince having his panties in a knot to me. Lesnar bugged out for the dugout and it cheesed him off. I say make it so Lesnar can’t compete for any wrestling company in the United States until 2010, but let him wrestle outside of the country and compete in other forms of sports entertainment. Like celebrity poker on Bravo. Credit: PWInsider.com

-Several years ago Lionel Tate was convicted of beating a little girl to death. He blamed the incident on repeating wrestling moves he had seen on television. While this claim was debunked, the WWE and other organizations took a great deal of heat for matters at the time. Earlier this year I reported that Tate had been let out due to a plea bargain with a 15 year probation. Tate recently violated that probation by beating up a pizza delivery man and robbing him. He has been charged with armed burglary, robbery and assault. No word on how this will affect his probation or what possible punishment might be. You might think it would be hard to blame wrestling for this incident, but the delivery man was Lex Luger trying to make ends meet. Credit: palmbeachpost.com

-You know how your douchebag friend calls wrestling gay? Don’t show him this. Faith Urek, an openly gay and popular singer out of Istanbul, announced his intentions of becoming host of the Aga oil wrestling tournament this summer. The hosting rights are sold at a special charity auction. The event is one of the biggest in Turkey and the Aga is a very powerful and high ranking position to achieve in the Muslim Religion. Former Agas and tournament officials have said that they “respected all lifestyles” but did not support a gay Aga. Meanwhile, the growing gay and liberal sects in Turkey support the move and back Urek fully. You’ve got muscley guys with towels on their head groping each other while covered in oil, but it’s not gay. Credit: dailystar.com.lb

-I ran across this interesting tidbit. An independent film entitled 7 Minutes is currently in production. It follows the collegiate wrestling season of fictitious Owens State. Anson is the team’s would be star who has only this final season to finally live up to his potential. The picture was written and is being produced by former Northern Illinois wrestler James Olivia. The movie is purported to have the most realistic amateur wrestling sequences ever caught on camera. Credit: trftimes.com

EWR ON 411

Thanks to Chris, Eric, Todd and everyone else for their thoughts on bringing back the Hardcore Title and possibly adding another belt. I think after Bad Blood we can start working to some new additions that will add some spice.

Smackdown for 5.26.05
Going back to their old gimmicks have put an extra swagger in the steps of the Midnight Outlaws, but they are a bit too cocky and Animal Instinct takes the advantage. Rhyno lines up the Gore on Gunn when Mark “Jizzy” Jindrak rides to the ring on a motorcycle. The referee tells him to hit the back and Holly takes the opportunity to nail Rhyno in the skull with a car battery. He brawls with Tajiri as Gunn hits the One and Only to make it look good and pin Rhyno. The Outlaws win a Tag Title shot.
Match Rating: 78%

Matt Hardy goes to see Tommy Dreamer. He’s the general manager of Smackdown, but it seems like Eric Bischoff is making all the decisions. Dreamer has to admit that being GM is a lot more work than he thought. Maybe he should just hand the reigns over to Bischoff. Hardy tells him no. He was the one that came and got him and made him believe in himself again when he was at his lowest point. When RAW kicked him to the curb, it was Dreamer who offered him a home on Smackdown. Now he’s telling Dreamer that he needs to believe in himself. Dreamer says he’s right and he’s going to take away Angle’s match against Hardy for the US Title that Bischoff set up. No, that’s ok. Hardy has never backed down from a challenge and he will put Angle in his place just like he will his stooge RVD right now.
Segment Rating: 76%

The Basham Brothers escort RVD to the ring. Van Dam takes the early advantage, but Hardy makes the comeback and he bails to the floor. Hardy body presses out onto all three men and tosses RVD back into the ring. He gets a springboard summersault leg drop back into the ring for two. He lines up the Twist of Fate, but RVD pushes him out into the ropes. He whiffs on a clothesline and Hardy kicks him in the gut and nails a DDT. He pops up top for the yodeling leg drop. The Bashams distract the referee and Angle runs out to brain Hardy with Rob’s loaded bible. Matt slumps on the top turnbuckle. RVD bulldogs him off and hits the frog splash for the non-title victory. Angle and the boys beat Hardy down until a security crew emerges from the back to pull them off. Tommy Dreamer is with them and informs Angle that the US title match next week will have himself as the special guest referee. If any of Team Angle so much as stick their head out from behind the curtain during the match then Angle will be suspended without pay indefinitely.
Match Rating: 90%

Al Snow welcomes Jamie Noble to the Ski Lodge. It’s been nearly a month now and he wants to know where his tax return is, all of his money has been frozen since IRS filed his taxes for him. Schyster appears. He lays some mumbo jumbo on him, but Noble isn’t buying it. Let him put it another way. IRS whaps him with his briefcase and runs off. Noble recovers and chases after him with a ski.
Segment Rating: 74%

Orlando Jordan sets up a vertical suplex on Booker T. He elbows out to hit the bookend. He spinaroonies to his feet for the axe kick, but Jordan slides to the floor. He takes a breather and looks up to see Booker coming out on top of him with the Harlem Hangover from the top rope to the outside. He tosses him back into the ring and pins him. John Cena runs out and attempts to bash Booker with his chain, but he dodges and Jordan takes it. Cena and Booker brawl into the crowd.
Match Rating: 76%

Eddie and Chavo Guerrero are standing over a sullen and seated Melina in the back. She hasn’t said one word since they got her back last week from the Taylor Commission. They’ve had to force food down her. She refuses to walk and they have to carry her everywhere. It’s like she’s completely shut down. Rey comes in with a dozen roses and asks for a minute alone. Rey understands the horrible experience she’s been through. He knows that the girl he fell in love with won’t return to them overnight, but he knows she is still in there. He’ll stand by her to the end, no matter what. He places the flowers in her lap and leaves. A small tear trickles down her face, but she betrays no other emotion.
Segment Rating: 74%

The Taylor Commission isolate Rey in the ring for the handicap match and beat him down. Melina appears at the entrance ramp. She watches quietly then starts to the ring. Lashley and Toland encourage her to return to them. Fifi breaks loose from the ring attendant and runs at Melina. She jumps in her arms. Melina cuddles her and then heads to the back again. Rene yells at her not to steal his dog and this allows Rey to get a seated dropkick that knocks him into the ropes. He rolls him up on the bounce back for the quick three. He and Chavo take off before the Commission can attack them.
Match Rating: 73%

Ted Dibiase is walking through the back when he stops. He turns his head like he hears something. He starts walking again. He stops and acts like he smells something. A hollow voice says that he smells the evil and he in turn smells the fear. Kane emerges from the shadows. Ted hits him in the chest with his cane and it snaps in half. Kane backhands him into the near wall, then choke slams him. He spits in his face and walks off.
Segment Rating: 75%

Eddie Guerrero beats Scott Taylor like a dog in their cage match. He gives him a series of rolling vertical suplexes. This is for Melina, this is for Chavo, this is for Rey, this is for Hector, this is Mando this is for Chavo Sr. He then heads to the top of the cage. He looks out at the crowd and then down at Taylor’s prone form. He screams this is for me and hits the frog splash from off the top of the cage. At that moment Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly appear. Gunn yells at Eddie still inside the cage while Holly hotwires the low rider. Gunn enters the cage through the door and they brawl. He forces Eddie into the cage. Holly hooks up a pair of jumper cables to the low rider and then threads them through the cage wire and Gunn hooks them to Eddie’s nipples. He revs the engine. Eddie screams and convulses. Rey and Chavo, Jr. run down and brawl with the Midnight Outlaws. In the chaos, Taylor crawls to the open cage door and drops to the floor for the miraculous win. Paramedics come to get Eddie.
Match Rating: 79%

AJ Styles and Billy Kidman talk to the medic about Ted Dibiase. He’s unconscious, but should be ok. Styles said that this was a message to them. No it was a message to him. Kane’s beef is with AJ, not him. Kidman is just an afterthought. He punches the nearby wall. He’s an afterthought if he believes himself to be. Styles considers him an equal partner. He’s the World Champion, but Kidman is his friend and he knows he can use a friend. Remember all that Dibiase has taught them. The meek shall inherit the earth. Kidman doesn’t want the earth, he just wants what’s his.
Segment Rating: 65%

Kurt Angle stands on the apron and cheers Kane on as he gleefully beats the crap out of AJ Styles. Kidman keeps trying to interfere, but the ref stops him and this allows the heels to double team. Matt Hardy runs out to a pop and yanks Kurt off the apron. They brawl off. Kidman comes off the top with a double axe handle to Kane, but he grabs him by the throat. He looks to choke slam him, but AJ saves with a chop block. They double team Kane with the ref pleading for Kidman to get out of the ring. Kane ducks a double clothesline and hits a double flying clothesline on the faces. Kidman is up first and takes the big boot. He then choke slams AJ and pins him. He stands on the turnbuckles and makes the sign of the belt around his waist to tick off the crowd.
Match Rating: 76%

Show Rating: 74%

Velocity for 5.28.05

Big Vito and Nunzio defeat Shannon Moore and Funaki when Nunzio scores the Arriverderci on Moore.
Match Rating: 74%

Vito and Nunzio are pumped over the win when they make it back to the locker room. They ask Noble if he saw it. He doesn’t answer. Hey, did he see the win. Yeah, yeah. Noble is just so pissed over IRS screwing him the way he did. He only went to him because Nunzio suggested it. Hey, don’t pin this on him. Noble’s not, he didn’t mean to imply that. Nunzio tells him that he’ll get his revenge next week and they’ll get his money back from all those Swiss Bank accounts it was funneled into. How did he know that IRS did that? Oh, that’s the rumor going around backstage, surprised he didn’t hear. Vito and he exchange a glance then hit the showers.
Segment Rating: 58%

Kid Kash revives the Pimp Drop to pin Akio. He then allows a hot blonde at ringside to drink from his pimp cup. He sashays to the back.
Match Rating: 82%

The Idol demands that Chris Hero and his wench Hiroki bow before him. Hiroki goes to bow, but Hero stops her. Hiroki says he doesn’t want to see Hero get hurt. Hero doesn’t want to see her demean herself. They argue and Idol blindsides Hero with a superkick. Hero goes up top, but Idol slams into the turnbuckles to cause him to slip and crotch himself. He links arms and gives him the False Prophet for the win. Kenzo runs in from the back to drive the Idol off.
Match Rating: 74%

Carlito tries to sneak to the ring for his match when the rest of his stable sneaks up on him. They want to accompany him to the ring. Carlito says he beat Rico last week no problem, he shouldn’t need their help this week. Yeah, but they’re Just Some Cool Guys. Carlito has been thinking about that. He thinks he’s going to rename them Just Some Guys. What? I mean, if you’re cool, you don’t have to advertise. What about his name, Carlito Caribbean Cool. Did he hear the bell? He has to go.
Segment Rating: 78%

Rico still does the full Golddust entrance. He feels up Carlito and it creeps him out. Dustin Rhodes makes an appearance and jaws at Melina. She blows smoke in his face and she punches him. Rico goes to help her, but Carlito cheap shots him from behind and hits Carlito’s Way for the win. He advances in the King of the Ring Tournament. Rhodes throws Marlena over his shoulder and leaves.
Match Rating: 81%

Show Rating: 75%

Heat for 5.29.05

Lady Shini defeats Nidia with the five point exploding heart technique as the set up for the Kill Bill Drill (spinning piledriver). Nidia crawls over to complain to Matt Cappotelli at ringside. She demands revenge. He enters the ring and bends Lady Shini over his knee. He proceeds to spank her. How you doin? Not to good now.
Match Rating: 61%

Bobby Heenan would like to welcome the representative from the orange pickers’ union 605, Miguel Batista. Is it true that his favorite movie is Pulp Fiction, minus the fiction. Batista doesn’t find Heenan funny. He doesn’t find disrespect to anyone funny. His son last week said that all he wanted was his respect. A son is supposed to respect his father, not the other way around. A father can be proud, but he hasn’t done one damn thing lately for him to be proud of. Heenan asks if Dave beats him tomorrow night if he will be proud. Miguel thinks. He says no. Would he be mad. He thinks. He says no. What would he feel? He would feel…humbled.
Segment Rating: 74%

La Parka comes to the ring with a blank chair. Lita says that he didn’t feel that Cade merited his own chair art. Cade isn’t sure if he sure be mad at that or not. La Parka defeats Garrison Cade with the La Parkinator.
Match Rating: 73%

A video package is shown to hype the retirement match between Sting and Shawn Michaels tomorrow night on RAW. It features highlights of both men’s careers and is set to the Rolling Stones “Don’t Stop.”
Segment Rating: 88%

Barry Windham locks the face claw on Christopher Nowinski. He walks the ropes to break, because Windham isn’t tall enough to stretch his arm that far. Nowinski comes off the top with a double axe handle. He locks Windham in the Hung Jury, but he refuses to submit. He turns it into a neckbreaker and then puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. He hightails it before Windham recovers.
Match Rating: 63%

Lady Shini enters the locker room of Camp Cornette. She was humiliated by Matt Cappotelli earlier in the evening. She knows that The World Greatest Tag Team faces him and Maven next. She enlists their assistance in helping her regain face. Benjamin promises that he’ll make that arrogant prick pay.
Segment Rating: 57%

Shelton Benjamin slips behind Cappotelli on the Sex Drive attempt and hits a version of the Edge-o-matic. Maven tries to interfere with a missile dropkick, but Haas steps in the way and puts him in the Haas of Pain. Benjamin gets the That’s Mister Exploder for the pin. Benjamin bows to a watching Lady Shini. Cappotelli attacks Benjamin from behind and the teams brawl to the back.
Match Rating: 76%

Paul Heyman is out for the Danger Zone. Once again he will show Bobby Heenan how this is done. He welcomes out Rob Conway. Alexis Laree is with him and seems fairly affectionate. He recaps how they made love all night long. While Laree was a little frigid at first, he warmed her up right. He’s going to show footage he taped of the wild sex when Bobby Heenan enters the ring. This has gone far enough. He’s done a lot of despicable things in his time, but graphically broadcasting sex during the family hour is so disgusting that not even he can condone it. Heyman tells him to take his seat. He then blasts Heyman for starting this trend in wrestling with ECW. Heyman takes a swing at Heenan and misses, so the Brain pops him one. Conway gives him the Bleep This cradle piledriver. Paramedics rush to his aide. Coach reminds us that Heenan has had a long history of neck problems. He finishes the show alone.
Segment Rating: 75%

Christian hits the Unprettier on Johnny Nitro to retain the Intercontinental Title. Edge runs in and goes for the Spear from behind. Christian dodges and he nails Nitro. Christian hits the Unprettier on Edge too. He just can’t catch a break lately.
Match Rating: 81%

Ron Killings is backstage with Marrissa Mazzolla. He hears the people backstage laughing, he hears the fans snickering. He’s some big joke. He’s done nothing but lose since he’s come to RAW and mostly to Chris Jericho. Well, let him steal a page from Rob Conway’s book by saying f*ck all ya’all. Last week he advanced in the King of the Ring tournament by defeating the beast Batista. He swears on his mama’s grave and she ain’t even dead yet that he will become the King of the Ring. He gets down on his knees and joins his hands. He hasn’t done this in a long time, but he prays to the lord above that Chris Jericho advances to the finals so he can beat him like the egg sucking dog he is. Jericho has evaded the truth long enough, but he will face the consequences.
Segment Rating: 94%

Chris Sabin salutes the crowd before going for the Hail Sabin DDT. Jericho picks him up out of it for a side slam. He hits the Lionsult and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Sabin makes the ropes, but Jericho drags him back to the center of the ring and he taps. Killings steps out to the entrance stage. He points at Jericho and he points back.
Match Rating: 84%

Show Rating: 74%

RAW for 5.30.05

Stevie Richards goes to Stevie Kick Lex Luger, but he blocks with his steel plated forearm. Richards sells it like he broke his foot. Luger racks him and Richards submits. Lex celebrates until Richards jumps him from behind and Stevie-T’s him in revenge. He limps to the back.
Match Rating: 77%

Daffney brings Teddy Long a cup of coffee. He spits it out. It tastes like it was filtered through a dirty gym sock. How did he guess? Remember, he can’t fire her because of her contract or she’ll sue. Mick Foley enters. He heard that Long wanted to see him. This is RAW’s big Memorial Day Show. He recaps the card. Since the Rock wasn’t booked he has granted him interview time to use however he wishes. He doesn’t want Foley to bother him in anyway or he’ll take the title match at Bad Blood away from him. Foley is cool with that, but he wants the same opportunity next week to offer the Democratic rebuttal to whatever the Rock says. Long thinks that is fair.
Segment Rating: 86%

Ric Flair chops his son David down like a tree in the corner. David stumbles out and does the Flair Flop. Ric Irish whips him to the far corner. David flips over the turnbuckles and runs the ring apron to the opposite corner. Ric catches him from on high and slams him off. Daffney jumps up on the apron and prepares to scream. Ric pulls duct tape out of his tights and puts a big piece over Daffney’s mouth. He then tapes her hands to the ropes so she can’t move. David jumps Ric from behind and takes the offensive. He gets the figure four, Ric refuses to submit. He turns it over. The ref checks on David. They’re close to Daffney and she kicks Ric repeatedly in the head. David rolls him back over. Ric refuses to submit. Since you have to win by figure four leglock, David can’t be disqualified and goes outside to grab a chair. He’s poised with it over his dad, when he crotch shots him. Ric locks in the figure four and holds onto the chair. Every time David raises up Ric smacks him in the head. A nearly unconscious David finally gives up. Ric celebrates. David throws a fit, kicking and screaming like a little kid. Ric tells him to grow up and leaves the ring disgusted.
Match Rating: 66%

Shawn Michaels is praying in the back. Triple H interrupts. Michaels asks if he minds. Yes, he minds. He minds Shawn Michaels shaking hands with Sting last week. It’s like he said, he doesn’t like Sting, but he respects him. Respect is for pussies. Triple H doesn’t respect anybody. That’s obvious. Is he cracking wise against the Game. Triple H reminds him of all he’s done for him. He’s resurrected Shawn’s career when it was on life support more times than he can name. And now he asks for one little thing and Michaels whines about it. If Shawn is a legend, it’s because Hunter was there every step of the way looking out for him. Now he can look out for him and Evolution by eliminating Sting forever. Michaels says he doesn’t remember seeing Triple H by his side in the Rockers. Doesn’t remember him diving off a ladder at Wrestlemania X. Doesn’t remember him outlasting Bret Hart in an iron man match at Wrestlemania XII. And Shawn really doubts if he’ll see him out there tonight.
Segment Rating: 79%

Molly Holly and Victoria start off their last woman standing match pretty tame. Stevie Richards then reaches under the ring and tosses Victoria plunder. Victoria goes to bash Molly with a trashcan lid when she sprays a fire extinguisher to blind her. She bails to the floor where Stevie superkicks her. Lex Luger and Barry Windham run out to make the save. They give Richards a double snake eyes on the ring wall. Victoria is still partially blinded and stands with a steel chair in her hands. Molly comes off the top with the Molly-Go-Round to the chair. Victoria goes down with her head sandwiched between the chair and the canvas. The referee counts to ten and Molly is declared the last woman standing to retain the Women’s title.
Match Rating: 73%

Batista is watching a monitor with the interview his father gave on Heat. He finishes by saying if he lost he would be humbled. Batista rewinds it and freezes. He stares at the look in his father’s eyes. He plays it again and hears the anguish in his voice. He sighs heavily and walks out.
Segment Rating: 64%
Miguel and Dave stare down to start. They lock up and neither man budges an inch. They do a crisscross sequence. Dave takes a shoulder block and doesn’t go down. Miguel takes a shoulder block and doesn’t go down. They shoulder block each other and bounce off. They stare again. They erupt into a slugfest. Each man gives as good as he gets. Little by little it looks like Miguel is begrudgingly giving his son some credit for his in ring prowess. Miguel elbows out of a suplex attempt and knees Dave in the gut. He goes to the ropes for a running clothesline, but Batista surprises him with the Demon Bomb. He covers him and the referee counts 1-2- Dave shakes his head and breaks the count. He slips to the floor and walks off. The referee is perplexed. He has no recourse but to count Dave out. Miguel wins by count out. He recovers and hits the floor. He runs up the ramp as his son is about ready to disappear backstage. He put his hand on his shoulder and spins him around. Dave puts his hands up ready to fight, but Miguel extends his hand. They shake. They hug. They walk backstage together.
Match Rating: 75%

The following promo comes directly from Mathew.

Rock enters the ring where Lillian was about to annouce the next match. He glares at Lillian, and takes the mic.

Rock: Excuse The Rock, but he has something more important than this rinky dink cage match or whatever it is. So take your fine ass out of the ring while The Rock talks.

(She does so as the Rock glares at the booing crowd).

Rock: The Rock is out here because, well, he's The Rock, and can do what he likes. He's also the World Champion, which means The Rock can do what he likes, when he likes. But the real reason The Rock is out here is to talk to pudgy little kid from Long Island, Mick Foley.

Did The Rock give you sheep permission to bleet?

Mick Foley. You want one last crack at glory huh? You want to try and do what so many have tried to do, and take this title off The Rock's handsome shoulder? That Spinal Tap Wannabe Jericho couldn't stop The Rock taking the World Title off him. The Heart Break Old Man, Shawn Michaels, couldn't beat The Rock for the title. That fat piece of monkey crap Vader couldn't beat The Rock, nor could that old run down 'Total Package' of crap Lex Luger. The Vanilla Midget with Gap Sprinkles, Benoit couldn't take The Rock's title. That Jumping Bean Shelton Benjamin couldn't get the job done. Nor did Mr OJ, Dave Batista. That Little Runt, note that The Rock said Runt, The Rock's not like that Conway jabroni, David Flair failed like he always does. The Rock went through 9 other men at Judgment Day to keep The Rock's belt. Hell, Sting, the Mighty Sting, couldn't beat The Rock, at Wrestlemania! And you think you have a snowball's chance in hell Mick?

But The Rock thinks he knows what you're thinking Mick. Oh yeah, The Rock must have ESP. Or maybe The Rock's just hanged around with Foley, and his snot nosed family, long enough to be able to read that dull, boring book cover to cover. The Rock knows what Foley is thinking, Foley is thinking that he's beaten The Rock before. For World Titles, no less. If he did it before, he can do it again, right?

Wrong Mick. Wrong.

Let The Rock give you people a history lesson. Hey, Jabronis in the back. Play the first clip The Rock gave you.

*We see footage of Mankind beating The Rock for Mick's first world title in Dec 98*

Yeah, The Rock remembers this well. Look at The Rock, doesn't he look great? He really was a Corporate Dream, you can build a Media Powerhouse behind him. But wait, who's that around the ring? That's DX! There to 'support' Mick. So, naturally, The Rock had to have his buddies in the Corporation there, to make sure DX didn't cheat. Oh look, Chaos has broken out. And...STONE COLD! STONE COLD! MY GAWD, IT'S STONE COLD! And...ouch. The Rock felt that one. And look, Mick wins the big one. Hooray for Mick.

You see where this is going Mick? No? Well, let's go to the next time you beat The Rock for the World Title, huh? Second clip Jabronies.

*We now see moments from the Halftime Heat Empty Arena Match between the two from 99*

There's The Rock, still looking like a million bucks, as usual. And there's Mick, getting his doughy mokey ass kicked from one end of the arena to the other. Ha ha, The Rock forgot about the phone. Oh, there goes that stupid sock, right in the oven. Ah, here we are, the closing moments, the climax of this battle. And Mick's wobbly, Mick's gonna...oh dear, he's making one last desperate comeback. And he has The Rock down! But don't worry, The Rock always gets...is that a forklift? What is Mick doing? He's...just pinned The Rock using a forklift? What sort of sad loser needs a FORKLIFT to beat a guy, even
if it is The Rock?

Do you see my point now Mick, huh? No? Well, ok, let's go to more recent times. Last clip, video monkeys.

*We now see Survivor Series 2004, Rock vs Mick with Terry Funk as ref.*

And The Rock and Foley, one last time, down to a street fight The Rock sees, but hey, The Rock has no problem with that. And Mick winds up and boom! Hits Funk. Oops. And there goes Funk, off to change his diapers. The Rock goes back to what he knows, whipping Foley's Cookie Dough Candy Ass. And here comes Funk, with the branding iron! Oh dear, Foley's really in for it now! And...ouch. The Rock really felt that one, The Rock needed several nurses' attention to soothe The Rock's pain. And look, Foley mocks The Rock after Funk did all the work, and gets the 1, 2, 3. Isn't that sweet?

You see the point now Foley? Well, just to make sure that you, and all these losers here in...where ever the hell The Rock is, understand. Sure Mick, you've beaten The Rock. Pinned The Rock. Taken The Rock's World Title, what The Rock lives for. But Mick, you always, ALWAYS, needed help to do it. Be it DX, a forklift, Funk, Austin, Daffney,
FATE, a steel chair or the 82nd Airborne, you've never, NEVER, been able to beat The Rock when it's just one on one, with no help.

And this time round Mick? That's what it's gonna be.

Because The Rock was ready to defend The Rock's World Title at Bad Blood, or King Of The Ring, or whatever the blue hell the Pay Per View's called now, against a young up and comer. Give that Sabin guy a one on one shot. Beat down that painter dude and take his girl. Snap some sense into that Conway jabroni, maybe give Stevie Richards, who
The Rock has been impressed with recently, a shot. But you didn't want that, did you Mick? You wanted the shot for yourself, you wanted one last crack.

It's funny to The Rock, for a Talent Liaison, you suck at liaisoning with talent. Not only have you annoyed The Rock to no end, but you now have an entire locker room who hates your guts. Mick, you've been selfish. The Rock doesn't care, The Rock will defend The Rock's Title against whoever you put up against The Rock. But all those guys in the back, they care.

The Rock told Sting that he couldn't trust FATE. And The Rock was right, both HBK and VLB...Victoria's Little Bitch, turned on Sting. Well, Mick, let The Rock give you a warning too.

You Mick? You can't trust anyone. Because, now, everyone will be after you Mick. You'll never be able to walk backstage now without having to look over your shoulder every second. At least, until The Rock has beaten your ass at the PPV. Hell, The Rock will be doing you a favor. But remember Mick.

You brought this on yourself.

*The Rock leaves*.
Segment Rating: 94%

Triple H hits the Pedigree on Vader. Vader kicks out. Triple H has no idea what to do. He hits the Pedigree again. Vader kicks out again. Triple H tries to tag out to Orton, but he doesn’t want to. Hunter forces him to. Randy tries for the RKO, but Vader throws him into his corner to eat an elbow from Benoit. Vader runs in for the avalanche and then pins Orton with the Vader Bomb. Triple H yells at the faces as he backs up the ramp.
Match Rating: 77%

Sting is in his locker room. He looks into a mirror. He prepares to put on his make up. He starts applying the black and white, then stops and wipes it off. He starts applying brighter colors like he used to wear. He wipes that off. He looks at himself in the mirror and then exits.
Segment Rating: 96%

Sting enters the ring with no makeup on. Shawn Michaels rides in on a zip line. Michaels reveres a whip and sends Sting to the corner. He charges and Sting backdrops him over the ropes. Shawn lands on the apron and climbs the ropes from the outside. Sting meets him up top and superplexes him. It gets two. Backbreaker gets two. Sting pulls Michaels up by the wrist and directly whips him to the turnbuckle. He hits the Stinger Splash. Michaels stumbles out and splats on his face. He locks in the Scorpion Deathlock. Michaels refuses to give up. He’s in for nearly five minutes and won’t submit. Triple H finally runs out. Sting lets go and grabs his baseball bat. The referee grabs the bat and tells Triple H to go to the back. Shawn strikes up the band and goes for the super kick as Sting turns around. However, his other ankle buckles and Shawn splats on his face. Sting locks in the Scorpion Deathlock again. Michaels submits. He must now retire. Sting retires too. Triple H flips out. He enters the ring and starts screaming in Michaels face. Shawn pushes himself off the mat and punches Triple H in the face. He super kicks him into Sting who hits the Scorpion Deathdrop. They nod at each other. They shake hands. They wave to the fans. Sting repels into the ceiling as Michaels rides out on his zip line. The program ends with a still photo of both men and below it one word, thanks.
Match Rating: 85%

Show Rating: 79%

Sting has now retired.
Shawn Michaels has now left the company.
Referee Earl Hebner has retired.
Aaron Aguilera (Jesus) and Abyss (yes, the NWA guy) are both ready to be promoted from OVW. It’s bump or fire.
Eric Bischoff has announced he will retire at the end of June. We can use the editor to stop him or how would you like to send him out?
The following have one month left on their contracts. We either rehire or let go. Kurt Angle, Tajiri, Jimmy Snuka, Jr. (OVW), Paul Heyman

Aaron Aguilera: Over-67 Brawl-86 Speed-44 Technical-54 Charisma-86 Does high spots. Is friends and tags with Al Katrazz who we do not have under contract.

Abyss: Over-63 Brawl-87 Speed-31 Technical-29 Charisma-52 Is menacing.

Chris Hero thinks he should be bumped up the card. He’s a low carder at 68 over. I did not bump him.

Shannon Moore thought he should be bumped. He’s a low carder at 63 over. I did not bump him.

Smackdown for next week choose all winners

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Hardy for the US Title with special guest referee Tommy Dreamer

Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. the Midnight Outlaws for the Smackdown Tag Titles

Chavo Guerrero, Jr. vs. Nunzio for the Smackdown Cruiserweight Title

IRS vs. Jamie Noble

Booker T and Kid Kash vs. John Cena and Carlito Caribbean Cool

Mark “Jizzy” Jindrak vs. Rico-Dust

The Idol vs. Billy Kidman

Brock Lesnar vs. Kane

Tajiri vs. Paul London

Rhyno vs. Dustin Rhodes

The Basham Brothers vs. Chris Hero and Kenzo Suzuki

Shannon Moore vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

RAW for next week choose all winners

Mick Foley promos on the Rock

Vader vs. Triple H

Stevie Richards vs. Barry Windham

Chris Benoit vs. Rob Fucking Conway

Christian vs. Chris Sabin for the Intercontinental Title

Edge vs. William Regal

Lex Luger vs. Johnny Nitro

Ultimo Dragon vs. David Flair

Miguel and Dave Batista vs. the Butt Pirates (Venis and Gowen)

Chris Jericho and Shelton Benjamin vs. Ron Killings and Randy Orton

Charlie Haas vs. Maven

Ivory Robinson vs. Lady Shini

Bad Blood Card (do not vote at this time)

Mick Foley vs. The Rock for the RAW World Title

AJ Styles vs. Kane for the Smackdown World Title

King of the Ring First Round

Smackdown
John Cena vs. Booker T
Kid Kash vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool

RAW
Shelton Benjamin vs. Ron Killings
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

King of the Ring Second Round

Cena/Booker vs. Kash/Cool
Benjamin/Killings vs. Orton/Jericho

King of the Ring Finals

RAW brand winner vs. Smackdown brand winner

The King of the Ring winner will receive a title shot at their respective brand champion at the next ppv. This will make the next ppv exclusive to that brand. So if John Cena wins he will face the winner of AJ Styles vs. Kane and Vengeance will be Smackdown only.