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Wrestling’s 4Rs 9.02.13: WWE Smackdown & TNA Impact Reviewed
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
Impact 8.29.13:
By: Maxwell Baumbach
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
THE RIGHT:
Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian: TNA has been doing a great job of putting on strong opening matches as of late, and this was no exception. I was a little worried at first as both of these guys tend to do their best work when they are being guided. However, Kazarian and Hardy delivered by working a simple match that built well, and they did a great job of playing off of the fans.
ODB vs. Gail Kim: I’m not the biggest fan of ODB, but she is undeniably over. Gail used her psychology well, which made ODB’s comebacks get even bigger reactions than they would otherwise. While the Knockouts division is shallow and Velvet Sky is in some sort of weird purgatory, any time they are on television, it is must see. Gail Kim showed once again why she is one of the best in the world regardless of gender.
Setting the stage: Aries and Daniels backstage: First off, TNA deserves credit for pairing these two off after the way things went down last week. Secondly, this was a nice touch to add a bit more of a personal beef to an already heated situation with big implications. Aries cut a fantastic promo, and Daniels made me chuckle with his Miley Cyrus line while still coming across as intense. These segment made both guys seem more important heading into their match later on in the show.
Austin Aries vs. Christopher Daniels: These guys brought it with a ton of intensity. One of my biggest pet peeves is when wrestlers in a heated rivalry wrestle each other like it’s just another match. Aries himself has been guilty of that in the past, namely in ROH during his feud with the No Remorse Corps. However, he has grown tremendously in every way possible since then, and on Impact, he wrestled like his life was on the line. Even when these two were exchange basic holds, they put extra muscle into it. The little things got the crowd into it, and Aries’ dropkick to set up the brainbuster was a thing of beauty. This was exactly what I look for in a TV main-event; they didn’t overdo it with near falls, they told a story, and they had the crowd red hot.
puRgatoRy:
Building to an Anderson face turn: Though Anderson is probably the most capable guy in Ace’s and Eights outside of Bully Ray, I get the sense that they are only running with him to A) get him to re-sign and B) DOC left. They really cranked up what appeared to be a slower burn out of nowhere this week, and it makes me wonder if Anderson’s turn will be well received coming this spontaneously.
AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode: The crowd had a hard time caring about this match, but I will be writing more on that later. While the execution was fine, the crowd didn’t know how to take to it, and the finish left me scratching my head.
THE WRONG:
The Main-Event Segment: I don’t know what Hulk’s deal was, but he was off here. Bully was his usual self, but Tessmacher took away from him a little bit. I was confused as to why Tessmacher looked upset when Bully was presented with the divorce papers because Bully doesn’t seem to care, and I would assume that she wouldn’t want him to be legally married to someone else. Hogan’s constant screw-ups derailed things, and the commentators didn’t jump in to correct him. Why does Sting get a title shot after we were told he would NEVER GET ONE AGAIN!? A little explanation for that would’ve been nice.
THE RIDICULOUS:
AJ Styles…WHAT?!: At about the halfway mark of AJ Styles’ “worked shoot” promo, the crowd began to give him the “WHAT?!” treatment. To be honest, I don’t blame them, because I was asking myself the same question throughout this entire segment. AJ started off acting like a babyface, but then started to complain about how he hates being in TNA. Are fans going to get behind a guy who admittedly doesn’t want to be there? AJ Styles bitched about deserving better and carrying the company, but then said he liked to put the company on his back. If that is the case, then why was he bitching about it? This would be like if at the end of CM Punk’s pipebomb promo, he said that he enjoyed being a spoke on the wheel of the WWE machine. AJ came out to a huge reaction, but by the end of the promo, the crowd had no idea how to react to him, and didn’t care at all. If TNA plans on running with him as a top guy, they either need to pretend that this never happened (which I would be completely fine with in this situation) or figure out how to change his character, because the fans aren’t getting behind him. I think he is supposed to be a bayface since Tenay was putting him over on commentary, but it’s hard to imagine the fans rallying behind a guy who comes across as entitled and hates doing his job.
The mess that is the Bound for Glory Series: TNA has yet to pull off the Bound for Glory Series with successful quality control. This year, they lost track of how many matches everyone had and couldn’t think of a way to fix it, so they threw in the towel and decided to wrap it up seemingly out of nowhere. Some wrestlers had more matches and got opportunities at more points that others. The series was a complete mess, and TNA giving up on it makes me feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time investing myself in their television for the last several months. Ending the tournament like this is a slap in the face of the fans and is insulting to our intelligence. TNA needs to find a way to rework the entire thing next year, because so far they have proven that they aren’t capable of successfully booking this sort of format.
Impact had some great wrestling this week. That said, this was one of those weeks where the storylines were so frustrating that it at the end of the show, I still wasn’t happy. I appreciate what Aries and Daniels did this week; they had a world-class promo together and an amazing main-event. That said, one of the primary reasons I am a wrestling fan is because I love stories. This week, TNA presented a number of stories that either had no likable characters, felt rushed, or contradicted things that they had previously stated. You should go out of your way to check out some of these matches, but I can’t recommend this show because TNA’s inability to tell coherent stories on a consistent basis made this episode nearly impossible to enjoy. Instead of making me want to see what happens next, this week’s Impact made me want to watch anything else, which is a damn shame given the quality of wrestling they delivered. Show Rating: 4.9 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture |
Smackdown 8.30.13
By: Jack Stevenson
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
THE RIGHT:
Randy Orton vs. The Miz: While I ended up putting the opening segment in purgatory, it must have done something right because I was right behind the Miz for the whole of this match. And ever since his face turn my feelings towards him have ranged from apathy to loathing! This was a fun little TV match leant much-needed meaning by the preceding segment. Both men gave a good performance, Orton picked up another clean win, and Miz looked more dangerous and respectable than he has in a long, long time. Then, after the match, The Shield and Orton try to launch a beatdown, Daniel Bryan hits the ring and cleans house with a chair, and the crowd (and me) go fucking mental! How is this storyline working so well? It’s just your standard, tired, boring old ‘fan favorite vs. authority figure’ angle, but somehow it’s ten trillion times greater than the sum of its worn-out old parts. Everyone in this segment got over. No complaints from me.
It’s OK everyone, Paul Heyman’s being terrific again: After a Monday night mis-step, Heyman was back on form today with a tremendous, tremendous promo. The thing to love about Paul is that there’s no-one else like him in wrestling today, no-one willing to admit that they’re afraid of stepping in the ring with someone, no-one who can flit from slimy arrogance to delusions of self-grandeur to sniveling cowardice so effortlessly, no-one that comes up with such memorable one-liners, heck, no-one that has a voice as distinctive as his indignant whine. Curtis Axel, having been the human equivalent of plain beige wallpaper since his WWE return (albeit beige wallpaper that has a knack for putting on some damn fine matches) seems to be settling in to his role as Heyman’s new favorite son. Punk vs. Axel/Heyman doesn’t inspire as much excitement as Punk/Lesnar, but it should be fun nonetheless, and we can squeeze a few more excellent segments out of the rivalry before Night of Champions.
Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback: I think one of the main reasons this whole storyline is working so well at the moment is that, as far as horrible bosses go, Triple H is a very distinct one. I mean, Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff were utter bastards, but they were comical, pantomime bastards who did terrible things to wrestlers in revenge for getting sand kicked in their face at the beach. Everyone knew that if either man were to step in the ring with one of the wrestlers they tormented, they’d get their arses kicked pillar to post. Triple H may just be the first in the long and illustrious line of corrupt wrestling authorities to be a genuinely intimidating figure, and his character has this terrifying, sadistic edge to it that makes every situation that little more tense, every act of cruelty that little more visceral. The Big Show preparing to make the save for the good guys only to be forced to walk away and leave his ally to be beaten up else he’ll lose his job isn’t a particularly great one (surely Show should just make the save and fuck the consequences, he’s got money and name value to spare, he doesn’t need WWE), nor an original one, or even well-performed on Show’s part, but it went down a treat with the crowd because HHH is such a different kind of bastard to any other bastard in wrestling today, and the same can be said for D-Bry as a heroic face. So, in short, a good angle to close the show, far more noteworthy than the solid but meaningless match that preceded it.
puRgatoRy:
MizTV w/ Dolph Ziggler & The Big Show: A strange old segment this. After watching in bemusement as the Big Show fought back the tears at the thought of Daniel Bryan suffering a relatively mild assault, while show-off Dolph Ziggler acted like a terrified, bashful five year old, I was ready to dismiss this into the lower depths of the wrong section. Bizarrely though, perpetual annoyance the Miz rescued proceedings in a big way with a captivating, if brief, verbal duel with Triple H, for his part excelling in his role as a smug, sadistic COO. Miz seems so much more comfortable as your fiery fan-favorite than as a brash loudmouth nagging at the crowd for cheers with dumb jokes, and he proved a good foil for Hunter. I’m not bothered about the Big Show being terrified for his job when he already has an iron-clad contract, because in wrestling continuity is a welcome bonus rather than something that comes as standard, but I do object to his constant over-acting, responding to every injustice by trembling with sadness and anger. And that’s all the opinions I have on this segment! To purgatory it shall go.
Rob Van Dam vs. Damian Sandow: Too short to go anywhere, but perfectly alright. Van Dam-Del Rio should be good but they’ve already told their story and now they’re treading water till their championship match. This was made for purgatory.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Shield: Of all the chapters in the Rebel Alliance vs. Empire story from tonight, this was probably the least impactful. It was alright, nothing wrong with it per se, but you could skip its four-minute running time without missing out because the outline of this match was a foregone conclusion- Ziggler battled bravely for a bit before succumbing emphatically to the numbers game. I am fond of the Shield when they get to look like bad-asses though.
THE WRONG:
Tons of Funk vs. The Wyatt Family : I think it’s a waste of the Wyatts to have them squash Tons of Funk on a loop- it makes them lose their lustre as a team to have them do something very ordinary, very often. At least they’re getting clean wins I suppose.
THE RIDICULOUS:
NOTHING
The show opened strongly, closed strongly, and then everything in the middle just kind of existed. I would recommend you at least watch the first half hour or so because parts of the opening interview were fantastic, the Orton-Miz match was pretty damn good, and then the post match angle was hotter than Jon Hamm. (i.e. very hot indeed.) The rest of the show you can take or leave. Show Rating: 7.0 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture |
Money, money… yeah, yeah…
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