Cheap Wrestling For Cheap People 10.13.05: The Barter System
Posted by Ryan Byers on 10.13.2005
Featuring curb stomps, wrestlers pantsing themselves, and discussion of a Japanese man's ass.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. As always, I am your party host, Ryan. This week we'll be taking our first look at Pro Wrestling Guerilla . . . but, beyond that, I'm interested in what you want to see me review. As a result, I've created the following poll in the 411 Forums that I would appreciate any and all votes in. If for some reason you're not registered for the forums and don't want to, you can feel free to respond via e-mail.
With that bit of begging out of the way, let's continue.
Addendums
Before we kick off the column proper, I wanted to make a couple of comments in regards to past comments that I've made here on 411:
1.) First of all, a correction. When I reviewed episodes of UPW's local television program, I stated that a featured match between Juventud Guerrera and Mikey Henderson could be found on UPW's Future Shock: Volume One DVD. However, I just got a copy of Future Shock thanks to a particularly good eBay deal, and I have to report that the DVD actually contains a different Henderson/Guerrera bout. It's not quite as good as the one I reviewed, but it does climax with Guerrera hitting the rarely-seen second rope Juvi Driver. So, if you're a mark for incredibly dangerous highspots, it might be worth your time.
2.) While I was reviewing JAPW Worldwide TV, some of you may have gotten the impression that I was not thrilled with the ring work of one Danny Demanto. However, after watching this video clip of Demanto in action, I can now affirm that he is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.
With that said, let's move on to the main feature . . .
Cheap Wrestling Tip #22: More Fun Than Baseball Cards
As some of you may recall, one of my favorite ways to get wrestling tapes/DVDs at a relatively low price is to purchase them in lots on eBay. The concept is simple: A seller puts together a large number of items together and sells them in one auction as opposed to selling them separately. For whatever reason, the final sale price rarely matches the combined price of the items comprising the lot, and you wind up saving sums of money that can be quite substantial.
However, as I bought more and more lots, I started running in to a problem. It got to a point that, more often than not, I would already own one or more titles being offered in the lots on eBay. Thus, if I bought them, I'd be faced with the problem of owning duplicate copies of various titles. I may be a big wrestling fan, but a situation like that is a bit ludicrous, even by my standards.
Enter short-lived 411 tape reviewer Jim Moore. After my first couple of columns, Moore shot me an e-mail wondering if I would be willing to "trade" any tapes with him. He wasn't talking about the illegal bootlegging often referred to as tape trading, either. Apparently Jim had run in to a similar problem as me, though he had actually wound up purchasing the duplicate titles. At the time I had nothing to trade with him, though I definitely liked the concept and introduced it to a few other individuals with whom I discuss wrestling. A few of us began purchasing and trading duplicate tapes, and it has lead to me acquiring quite a few excellent titles . . . not just those that I have received in trades but also those purchased in lots that I otherwise would have passed on.
So, if you've got a group of individuals that you talk wrestling with, give the concept a try. Even if you don't have such a group, you could always try throwing up a thread on the 411 Fan Forums and see if anything comes of it.
What have I gotten out of trades, you ask? Well, I'm glad you did, because I've got an answer prepared . . .
Title: 88 Miles Per Hour Released By: Pro Wrestling Guerilla Release Year: 2004 Run Time: 125 Minutes Found At: Private Trade Price: One copy of Coliseum Video's "Battle of the Superstars 1992"
Pro Wrestling Guerilla is an independent promotion based out of California which could almost be considered the West Coast's version of Ring of Honor. The two companies use a lot of the same big names, including Christopher Daniels, Bryan Danielson, AJ Styles, and Samoa Joe. Furthermore, both companies have a reputation for providing a quality in-ring product with no frills and plenty of workrate. However, unlike ROH, PWG takes a bit more of a light-hearted approach to its wrestling and also features several California wrestlers who are starting to get a bit of buzz on the internet, especially the infamous Super Dragon.
88 Miles Per Hour features Dragon and many of the other California regulars in a huge ten man tag, as well as an exhibition by visiting Japanese masters of comedy Ebessan on and Kuishinbo Kamen. Will the promotion that I've already compared to ROH be able to live up to the standards of its brother from the east? Let's take a look.
Match Numero Uno: Puma vs. Black Tigers
Both of these gentlemen are coming to PWG with a good deal of Japanese experience, as Puma regularly competes for New Japan and trains in the California-based Inoki Dojo, while Black Tigers developed his character in Osaka Pro. Prior to that, he was just good ole' US indy wrestling Jeremy Lopez, who took to the ring in NWA Wildside and worked as a jobber during the dying days of WCW.
The two masked me trade armbars to start until Tigers shoots a leg and gets a surfboard variant. Puma reverses in to a front facelock and then rolls through to a headscissors before Tigers makes it to the ropes. A knuckle lock follows, and Puma changes it in to an armbar, which Tigers reverses, only to have Puma make the ropes seconds later. The two then trade armdrags before Puma slaps on a side headlock. Tigers eventually reverses it but is caught with a hiptoss and gets an odd submission hold applied on his arm. Lopez shows a good deal of strength, lifting Puma up in the air and falling backwards. Tigers then takes advantage with a submission of his own before hitting a corner lariat and a butterfly suplex for two. The Osaka Pro import then applies the Dragon Sleeper, stopping when he decides it would be better to kick his man in the back. Tigers then runs in to a back elbow, which gives Puma the opportunity to hit multiple kicks before slapping on a triangle choke while hanging over the top ropes. A springboard DDT follows up and gets two for Puma, and he sets up for a superplex. It's blocked, and Tigers gets a tornado DDT and a Tiger Driver, but they only result in a two count. A spinning uranagi gets the same result, as does a cradle piledriver. Lopez then sets up for what looks like a Gory Special facebuster, but Puma rolls through and cradles his man to get the duke.
Match Thoughts: It's clear that these two were going for a basic strong style-esque match, in which they would first hit the mat and then build up to a hot series of near falls culminating in an exciting finish to the match. It didn't work out for many reasons. First of all, the match wasn't given quite enough time to truly build from one sequence of the match to the other, leading to two distinct halves of the match that didn't seem to fit with each other as opposed to a slow crescendo. Secondly, the rollup finish was a bit cheap and distinctly American, which seemed odd tacked on to what was otherwise a Japanese style match. Finally, and you might call me old fashioned (or Mexican) for believing this, but I get incredibly annoyed when a piledriver is used in a match and it doesn't lead to a pinfall. I've heard that both men are capable of better than this, so hopefully it was just an off night. *3/4
Match Numero Dos: Bobby Quance vs. Tigers Mask
Tigers Mask (not to be confused with Tiger Mask) is another Osaka Pro wrestler, and he's taken his name and gimmick from a professional baseball team in Osaka. He didn't take it from the much more popular wrestler with a similar name. Nope. Not at all. I don't have that much information on Quance, though, from what a quick google search revealed, he's a California product and has temporarily stopped wrestling in order to pursue a career in the military. Hopefully he'll return with a military gimmick . . . because "Corporal Quance" has a great ring to it.
Token mat work kicks things off, with Tigers applying the Maskerlock and Quance reversing it in to a keylock. A snap mare in to a chinlock is next for the Japanese native, and he rolls through to a keylock of his own when Quance attempts to reverse. Bobby rolls out and applies a variation of the STF, pulling back on the arms instead of crossing the face. Quance then realizes that his man is too close to the ropes, so he pulls him back and goes for an armbar. Mask is out with an armdrag, and both men soak up some adoration from the crowd. A rope runner sequence culminates in a Quance dropkick sending Mask to the outside, with Bobby then faking a dive and Tigers drinking some of a fan's water. Mask scores with a pair of big kicks when he gets back in to the ring, but he winds up arguing with the referee, allowing Quance to fire back with some chops. Tigers is knocked down by one of those blows, but he responds with an impressive kip up dropkick off the mat. Mask then goes in to his baseball related spots, winding up like a pitcher for a big chop and then sliding not in to home but in to Bobby Quance's chest. Quance comes back with a backdrop suplex, however, and he stays on his man with a lariat and yet another dropkick. A Quance rana then gets two, but Tiger drop toe holds him down on to the ropes and gets a sloppy version of the 619. A missile dropkick is next for the foreigner, but he can only get a two count. He does stay on his man, hitting a tornado DDT and a superkick. A second tornado DDT is reversed in to a Norther lights suplex, however, and a Quance slam sets up the shooting star press for the victory. Our announcers dub that one the "Cookie Monster," as apparently Quance has an affinity for baked treats.
Match Thoughts: These two followed the same basic template that Lopez and Puma attempted to work with in the first match, but they did a much better job with it. The mat work was faster and more complex, while the big moves they busted out towards the end all could have been believable finishes, though none of them were so big that it was painfully unrealistic for the men to be kicking out. The only complaint I have is that I would have like to have seen some connection between the holds that the men were working in the beginning and their later offense, as to establish more of a continuous story. However, things were still quite entertaining as they were. **1/4
Match Numero Tres: The Havana Pitbulls (Rocky Romero & Ricky Reyes) vs. Gurentai (Nosawa & Masada)
The Pitbulls are a great young tag team, having garnered experience in both Mexico and Japan after kicking off their careers in UPW. Romero has recently even gained a good deal of singles success, gaining the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship on the eighth of October. If I'm not mistaken, he's only the fifth foreigner to do so, following in the footsteps of individuals like Owen Hart, Chris Benoit, Sabu, and Juventud Guerrera. On the other side of the ring is Gurentai, who are no slouches themselves. Nosawa is a Japanese man who actually trained in more of a lucha style, which lead to him leading "Team Japan" in TNA's World X-Cup. Meanwhile, Masada (not to be confused with the American indy wrestler of the same name), is a trainee of Riki Choshu who has also bounced around America for a few years.
Masada starts with Reyes, and Masada starts with a basic leg takedown, though he quickly finds himself in a cross arm breaker. Masada makes the ropes and bails to regroup. When he gets back in, Masada is taken down with a headlock but reverses it in to a headscissors. Reyes pops out of that and is poked in the eye, which is never a pleasant experience. Romero and Nosawa then take to the ring, and Romero takes his man down with a knee, though Nosawa rallies with a low dropkick and a shining wizard. A victory roll is next for Romero, but he keeps rolling through and applies an ankle lock as opposed to going for the pinfall. Nosawa rolls out a this point with Masada take his place. Romero the goes for a unique move, laying on his back, rolling up to a ball, and sticking his hand up to the air. Masada grabs the hand like a sucker, and Romero rolls him in to a crossface. (That's the "Lady of the Lake" according to our crack announce team.) Nosawa saves, and Reyes is tagged back in. He goes for a sunset flip but gets dropkicked in the face twice. Reyes responds with one of his own, and he then applies a key lock which Nosawa breaks. Nosawa stays in the ring, albeit without a legal tag, and he gets yet another dropkick.
Masada then comes back in to the ring, and Gurentai both hit double sledges on Reyes' arm before snapping his legs and landing a drop toe hold/low dropkick combination. That brings Romero in, and they team up to pull him crotch first in to the ringpost. A Nosawa DDT is up next, but Masda accidentally clotheslines him out of the ring and takes over on Romero. Rock then rallies with a missile dropkick, which leads to the tag. Reyes lariats Masada and unloads with chops, whichs soften his man up for a charging forearm. Ricky then looks for a superplex, but it's reversed in to a tornado DDT, and Masada rolls through to a guillotine choke. Romero puts an end to that, and Nosawa decides that it's his time to hit the ring as well. He's knocked down with a Pitbull spinning heel kick, and then Romero kicks the heck out of Masada before being caught with a rana. A pescado by Masada follows, while Nosawa gets a Michinoku Driver on Reyes for two. That leads up to a BRUTAL move by the Pitbulls, as Romero hits a backbreaker and holds Nowasa across his knee as Reyes comes down off the top rope with a big kneedrop.
Match Thoughts: This one was a breath of fresh air, as tag team matches these days seemingly either have to go with the traditional face in peril sequence or be all out "scramble" style matches in which people are constantly hitting pointless spots and popping right back up afterwards. These four men managed to find a happy medium that was fast paced and exciting without being overly confusing or completely eschewing selling. As with the last match, I would have liked to have seen a bit more in the way of psychology (and adherence to the tag team rules, come to think of it), but otherwise this was a fun little bout. **1/2
Match Numero Cuatro: American Dragon vs. Brad Bradley
If you don't know who American Dragon is, perhaps you should be reading another website. Bradley, meanwhile, is a rather large man who has been doing some training at both the Inoki and Ring of Honor dojos. I recently had the opportunity to see him live in an ROH dark match, and the man definitely has a WWE contract waiting for him in the next few years if he tones up his body a bit.
The first real offense of the match is Bradley getting a very stiff series of chops in the corner, following up with a back body drop. Dragon rolls to the outside to regroup, and his chest is already blood red. AmDrag gets in some chops of his own when he returns, but Bradley takes him off his feet with a single forearm. Brad then tosses his man from the ring and slams Danielson's back in to the ring post. When we get back in the ring, Bradley slams his man for two, but he takes too long following up, allowing Dragon to shoot the leg and apply what can best be described as a seated figure four. Bradley forearms out of that one, but Dragon manages to fire back for a little bit . . . until he is once again knocked down by a single forearm. A pair of Yakuza kicks in the corner is next for Bradley, but they only get two. Bryan manages to slap on a headlock, but that's quickly turned in to a nice backdrop suplex by Bradley. The two men once again go outside, where they trade chops and forearms before going back in to the ring and doing the same darn thing. That eventually turns in to Dragon kneedropping his man in the head repeatedly and getting the swandive headbutt for two. Bradley winds up in the outside, and Danielson plows in to him with a tope suicida. Back in the ring, Dragon gets a big running forearm but is sent flipping head over heels with a lariat. Brad runs in to a boot, however, and that's AmDrag's opening to get a European uppercut from the second rope. A German suplex is next, and then Dragon wins it with a unique submission hold that I'd spend about five lines describing if I even attempted it. Bradley gives it up thanks to that move.
Match Thoughts: This was an interesting one to watch, as, even though Danielson is a smaller guy, you very rarely see him having to play the role of David to somebody's Goliath. He did an admirable job of that here agains tthe much larger Braldey, fighting from underneath like there was no tomorrow. The two did a good job of establishing that Brad was bigger and stronger without simultaneous making AmDrag appear weak. They did this by making sure that every big hit Bradley got in immediately took Dragon down . . . but they still allowed Danielson to make comebacks with similar strikes, even though he needed to land more blows to have the same effect that one of Bradley's would have. Because of that and because the match was so stiff, it was an enjoyable encounter. However, it wasn't up to par with some of Dragon's other matches because a.) Bradley appeared pretty green and only had the most basic of offense and b.) the man's larger size preventing Dragon from busting out some of his more impressive moves. **3/4
Match Numero Cinco: Big Babi Slymm & Frankie Kazarian vs. PWG Heavyweight Champion Adam Pearce & The Hardkore Kidd w/ El Jefe & Valentina
All four of these guys kicked of their careers in Ultimate Pro Wrestling, with Slymm being the most recent product of the company and Kazarian being one of the most well traveled, as he has had both a run as the TNA X Division Champion and a quick stint in WWE. Kidd was briefly in the big leagues as well, where he was known as Carlito Colon's bodyguard Jesus. He and Pearce were tag team partners in UPW under the name "Hardkore Inc.," so this is a reunion of sorts. In fact, Jefe was even their manager during that run.
Slymm starts with Pearce, and the gangsta works a headlock before getting a pair of shoulderblocks and a lariat. Pearce is then press slammed over the top by his opponent, and Jefe offers him some counsel. Kidd and Kazarian both tag in at this point, and they trade front chancres. An armbar follows for the Kidd, but the Future shoves him off and applies a rolling leglock. When that's broken, Frankie (not the parrot) gets a dropkick off of a lengthy rope runner sequence. Kazarian then dropkicks his man in the corner before leaping up, grabbing the ropes, and slingshotting his feet in to the Kidd's chest. Hardkore then gets an great spot in, leaping up on to the top rope after being Irish whipped and falling back with an elbow on to Kazarian. Very impressive for a man his size. An Alabama Slam is next for the Kidd, and the bottom rope has broken off of the ring. Jefe uses that to his advantage, taking the rope and choking Kazarian with it behind the referee's back. The Future then gets his own springboard elbow on the Kidd, and that brings in Babi Slymm. He and Frankie (not the parrot) hit a lame version of Total Elimination and a dancing elbow drop for two.
Slymm stays on his man, hitting a Rude Awakening, only to be tripped by Valentina when he attempts to run the ropes. Adam Pearce then tags in and hits a vertical suplex and a dropkick to the face. The Kidd is back in after that, and he drops both off his legs in to Babi Slymm's midsection. Here comes another fun spot for the future Jesus, as he has Slymm seated in the corner and comes off the second rope with what looks like a Vader Bomb but actually culminates with a headbutt that is substantially below the belt. Pearce then tags in and drops the Savage elbow, but it only gets two. Big Babi manages to get an opening with a huge overhead belly to belly. He manages to tag Kazarian, but the referee doesn't see it and forces him out of the ring. The Hardkore Kidd is back in now, and he works the leg over before applying a version of the bow and arrow. Slymm then reverses an Irish whip in to a nodowa bomb, and both men tag their respective partners. Kazarian punches away like a madman before hitting a back body drop. He gets caught in a spinebuster thanks to a cheapshot by the Hardkore Kidd, however, and Kidd takes over. He looks for an Uncle Slam, but Kazarian pops out and turns it in to the Cobra Clutch.
Kidd slips out and goes for his top rope elbow again, but Kazarian kicks him in the back and gets a two count. A bridging suplex gets two for Frankie (not the parrot) after that, and Kidd rolls out of the ring. A HUGE tope by Kazarian follows, as he lands on all three other competitors. All four men brawl on the outside for a bit, and Jefe and Pearce wind up accidentally running in to the Kidd from opposite sides. Pearce eventually winds up stuck in the ring with both Kazarian and Slymm, and Big Babi slaps on a Cobra Clutch. Kidd tries to save, but he's taken down with Novacaine by Kazarian, and Scrap Iron's arm drops three times to put an end to this match.
Match Thoughts: This was my first chance to see Slymm in the ring, and it didn't seem like he was able to keep up with the other three more experienced wrestlers. However, with Kazarian being able to wrestle the lion's share of the match, he managed not to drag things down too much. This was a lot like the Gurentai/Pitbulls match in its pacing, and it correct one of the things that I complained about in the match by paying more attention to the rules of tag team wrestling. However, it was saddled with the problem of one participant not being quite as skilled as the others, which essentially evens things out and puts the two matches in a dead heat. **1/2
Match Numero Seis: Ebessan vs. Kuishinbo Kamen
Like Tigers Marks and Black Tigers before them, Kamen and Ebessan gained the vast majority of their popularity in Osaka Pro Wrestling. They're noted for wrestling comedy matches against each other, which they took on a tour of US indies throughout 2004. From what I understand, if you've seen the match once, you've seen it a million times . . . but I haven't even seen it once heading in to this DVD, so I guess it's worth a look.
Ebessan starts by working the mic, informing us that everybody who is not at the live show is a homosexual. He's also angry that his luggage was lost by the airline and got stuck with a fake ticket to Monday Night Raw when he made the mistake of trusting a scalper. Some yogurt from 7-11 has also recently set his ass on fire. Despite all of his hardship, he'll still put on the world's greatest comedy match. That's nice of him.
The fans throw white streamers in to the ring before the match, and Ebessan collects some, acts as if they're toilet paper, and thanks the crowd for the gift. Things kick off with a sequence in which the two men work in slow motion, including chops and sholderblocks that look as though they were performed in molasses. The world's slowest shining wizard finishes the sequence for Ebessan. Armbars are then exchanged between the two men, and Ebessan tries to counter, only to roll IN to the move as opposed to out of it. More reversals turn in to a dance sequence, and the two then take turns tripping each other. Ebessan chops and pull out the Flair/Fargo strut before resting in a neutral corner. Kamen gets a second rope rana on his man, and hen the two men bust out some breakdancing. Kuishinbo then misses not one but two diving headbutts, and Ebessan applies the sleeper. Kamen is out at two drops of the arm, and he kicks his man in the face before knocking him out of the ring and breaking the bottom rope again. The two trade places when Kamen teases a dive, and Ebessan then crotches Kuishinbo when he tries to reenter the ring. Referee Taro tries to head outside to check on Kamen, and Ebessan crotches him as well. Everybody eventually winds up back on the inside, and Ebessan looks for the Shinzaki rope walk . . . but he slips an crotches himself. Kamen takes things to the outside again and hits an Asai moonsault before we head back in. Kuishinbo gets a top rope rana, but it only gets two. The duo then trade low blows, and the referee eats one as well. An Ebessan Michinoku Driver hits, but it can't finish the match because the referee is still injured. When the referee does get back up, Ebessan hits a corkscrew moonsault, but it can only get two. At that point, Kamen winds up sending Ebessan in to Taro, and the ref grabs 'San's head for whatever reason. Kuishinbo capitalizes by clotheslining Taro, resulting in Ebessan getting DDTed. A Kamen corkscrew moonsault later, and Kuishinbo has won the match.
Match Thoughts: Given that the whole point of this match was to parody normal matches, it doesn't seem quite right to give it any sort of rating. However, I will say that it is a very unique look at a style of wrestling we'll probably never get to experience in the United States. Though reading descriptions of their matches from Japan make those bouts seem a good deal funnier, this was still very amusing and probably the only opportunity you'll get to see the duo work on a United States release.
Match Numero Siete: Joey Ryan, Scott Lost, Super Dragon, Disco Machine, & Excalibur vs. Scorpio Sky, Quicksilver, Chris Bosh, Top Gun Talwar, and & Charles Mercury in an Elimination Match
Teammates Super Dragon and Joey Ryan get in to a shoving match over who's going to start, but Scott Lost runs in to the ring while they're occupied and begins the match with Scorpio Sky. They trade hammerlocks, and Lost manages to toss his man out of the ring. Sky's back in quickly and eats a flying forearm before responding with a dropkick and a reverse monkey flip. A stereo kip up is next, and we're right back where we started. Lost then goes to the armbar, and in comes Joey Ryan. Top Gun Talwar tags in as well just to give us a whole new pairing. They head to the mat and trade reversal after reversal, culminating with a bridging hammerlock by Talwar. The hold is short lived, however, and the men give each other armdrag after armdrag. Ryan brings in Super Dragon so that HE can beat him up. The rest of the face team separates the two men, and Dragon is facing off with Charles Mercury when the smoke clears.
There's another mat sequence between Mercury and Supes, and Dragon comes out on top with a big leglock. Chuck rolls him up, but Dragon kicks out and goes right back to the hold. Mercury then makes it to the middle rope, as the bottom one is still MIA. The men then trade monkey flips, and Dragon pivots his man in to a cross arm breaker. Mercury is smart enough to roll out of the ring as quickly as possible to break the hold. Dragon then trades off the Excalibur, who gets hit by a Mercury dropkick. Charles then tags Quicksilver in to the match, but Excalibur dominates him and drops a knee right on his face. Sliver then trips his man while he's running the ropes and applies a headlock. A satellite submission hold is next for Quicksliver, but Excalibur reverses it in to a wacky lucha hold of his own. Now it's Disco Machine's turn to come in the ring, and he's joined by Chris Bosh. Their time on the mat is a little more sloppy than the rest of the pairings, but it's still passable. Bosh then hits the biggest move of the match thusfar, clotheslining his man and making sure that he lands on his outstretched knee.
That ends the introductory string of one-on-one face offs, as Mercury comes in to the ring for a double back elbow and a double elbow drop. Machine manages to take Chuck down long enough to get a tag to Joey Ryan, and the X Foundation get a double Russian leg sweep on the rudo. Lost stays in the ring as the legal man, and he gets a big shoulder to the gut in the corner. Now Disco Machine comes back in to set up a three way spot. Machine monkey flips Mercury in to a palm thrust by Excalibur, which causes Charles to land on Disco's knees. As if that wasn't enough, Super Dragon comes off the top rope and KILLS Mercury with a double stomp to the chest. Surprisingly, Mercury kicks out as Supes and Excalibur come back in to the ring. They stand Mercury up on to his head and kick him in the ribs repeatedly, and then Dragon takes over on his own. He rains down with forearms for a while . . . and there comes the CURB STOMP! Never seen it? Dragon first applies a stepover toehold and then grabs his opponent's arms, pulling up the upper half of the man's body. At that point, Supes takes his free foot and uses it to jam his opponent's face in to the mat. It's one of the cooler looking moves in wrestling today, and Charles Mercury gets the privilege of receiving two of them this evening.
Disco comes back in after that, but Mercury goes to his eyes before the Machine can get off any offense. A jumping lariat is next for Charles, which is followed up by a corner lariat and a corner kneelift. Disco reverses an Irish whip, however, and there's a big powerslam from the 70's superstar. The two men then fight up on the second rope, with Machine winning and bringing his man down with a superplex. That brings Scott Lost in to the ring, and he lands a nonsuper-plex but gets caught with a spinebuster quickly thereafter. Mercury then gets a tag, and Lost takes out a series of heels that run in to the ring. That culminates with a sharpshooter on Scorpio Sky, but Quicksilver saves his partner by hitting a DDT on Lost.
Sky and Silver then team up for a bow and arrow/dropkick combo on Lost. A big lariat is next for Scorpio, and he brings Talwar back in to the match. Top Gun nails Lost with a series of corner clotheslines and a shoulderblock before taunting Super Dragon. Yeah, that's smart. The break in action allows Lost to recover and hit an ace crusher on Talwar, setting up tags to Joey Ryan and Charles Mercury. Ryan slams his man, and then they go to the outside, where Excalibur flattens both of them with a plancha. Bosh then does the same, and he's followed in short order by Scott Lost. Something tells me this isn't going to end anytime soon. I'm quickly proven right, as Scorpio Sky and Quicksilver hit stereo flipping planchas, followed by Super Dragon's corkscrew version of the move.
Disco Machine tries to finish the trainwreck sequence with a dive of his own, but Talwar cuts him off and hits a belly to back superplex. Dragon breaks up the ensuing pinfall, and now things have broken down in to a ten man brawl. In the middle of it all, Mercury gets back body dropped out of the ring on to three of his teammates, and that leaves Top Gun Talwar alone in the ring with all five babyfaces. He eats everybody's finisher, including the Psycho Driver (sit-out Burning Hammer) from Super Dragon. Not surprisingly, this makes him the first elimination of the match.
Both teams take a few minutes to regroup, and then Dragon and Quicksilver pair off. They trade forearms, but Silver gets the last laugh by hitting a spinebuster. Excalibur saves and hits a brainbuster, and then Chris Bosh runs in, only to be German suplexed. Sky saves there and hits the Angle Slam on Ex. Both members of the X Foundation then run in and kick Scorpio around, but Charles Mercury is able to dispatch Ryan and then take over on Lost. Charles hits a sweet series of rolling Northern lights suplexes, but Disco Machine breaks up the ensuing pinfall and hits a vertical suplex on Mercury before rolling through with a gordbuster. Disco then puts his man on the second rope, hits an exploder, and that gets elimination number two.
Scorpio Sky runs in to take over for his team and hits a dropkick. He tries to follow with a move off of the top rope, but Disco gets in a pop-up powerslam from the second rope. Both men take turns reversing finishers, and Sky eventually turns one of his reversals in to a roll-up, which gets a three count on Disco. Super Dragon is the next man in the ring for the babyface team, and he hits a pair of dragon suplexes on Sky, only to be cut off by Quicksilver. The Psycho Driver is then attempted, but Sky runs to the face corner, where Lost steals a tag. Joey Ryan backdrops his partner on to Sky and then continues in the ring with a dropkick. Scorpio escapes, though, and he brings Bosh back in before tagging Excalibur. A big top rope knee by Ex looks to finish, but Bosh is out at two. A tiger suplex doesn't do it either, and then Bosh reverses a move in to the TIGER DRIVER to eliminate Excalibur from the match.
It's now three-on-three, and all six men brawl. With that fight ongoing, Dragon double stomps Scorpio Sky from the top rope. They then do a reversal sequence similar to what we just saw with Machine and Sky. It ends with Scorpio landing some form of armbreaker. Sky then places his opponent on the top rope, but Dragon blocks Scorpio's rana attempt and then springboards in to the ring with a spin wheel kick on his man. Not surprisingly, it gets two. Dragon then takes over with a series of elbows, headbutts, and knees in the corner, but Sky grabs a nearby title belt and clocks Dragon with it in order to get disqualified and eliminated from the match. Scorpio hits a Psycho Driver on Dragon, however, and then Quicksilver runs in to snag the cheap pinfall.
Joey Ryan quickly makes it in to the ring, where he takes Silver down with a big forearm and a leg lariat for two. Scott Lost then gets in to the ring, and the X Foundation hits a double team facebuster for elimination number seven. That leaves Chris Bosh alone with the tag team champions, and he looks good for a couple of seconds, knocking Lost out of the ring and then getting a nearfall on Ryan. However, just seconds later, Ryan and Lost come back, executing a variant on the Chris Harris/James Storm Death Sentence in order to earn the fall and win the match for their team.
Match Thoughts: To begin with, let me just say that I am perhaps the world's biggest mark for multi-man tag team matches, especially when they're being contested under elimination rules. As a result, I really enjoyed this match. It worked out almost perfectly for what it was attempting to accomplish, starting off with the traditional slow build involving man-on-man pairings. After that, it broke down in to all out anarchy with highspots galore and unique takes on traditional spots, including the multi-dive sequence and the big ten man brawl. I suppose that, if I had to give any criticism to the bout, it would be that there were far too many high impact moves with not nearly enough selling. Fortunately the wrestlers were saved from pin attempts following these moves as opposed to kicking out, but they still did not show nearly enough fatigue or pain after being dropped off of the top rope multiple times. However, this sort of match is all about excitement and excess, and in those regards, it delivered in spades. In fact, I would almost go as far as to say that this match started to approach the quality of some of the epic six and eight man tags that were put on by Michinoku Pro Wrestling in its heyday. Hopefully all ten men get the opportunity to ply their trade on a larger stage sometime in the near future. ***3/4
Number of Matches: 7 Highest Star Rating: ***3/4 Lowest Star Rating: *3/4 Average Star Rating: **1/4 (ratable matches only)
Purely in terms of star ratings, this is the single most consistent event that I have reviewed for the column. It seems like every single man on the show went out there with his working shoes on. Nobody dogged it, and everybody working on the show had what I would consider to be an above average level of talent, so the whole show came off quite well. Furthermore, not only is 88 Miles Per Hour a good wrestling show, but it is also a different wrestling show. Just reading the play by play will tell you that it's nothing like the product that WWE is currently producing. Furthermore, even among the cards being put on by indy promotions, it is unique. The show doesn't focus on emulating WWE style or center on the American strong style brought to prominence by ROH. Instead, you've got a nice fusion of American wrestling and lucharesua, with just a hint of comedy wrestling thrown in as well. Put all of those elements together and you've got something truly unique. It's definitely one of the more entertaining pieces of my wrestling collection.
And, just think, all I had to do for it is part ways with a tape highlighted by Tito Santana and Skinner trading chinlocks for fifteen straight minutes . . . not a bad deal at all.
