wrestling / Columns
The Tuesday Communique 10.8.13: Knockout!
The Wrestling News Experience with Stephen Randle
The Wrestling 5&1: Beth Phoenix vs. Kaitlyn with Tony Acero
The Professional 3: Jushin Liger’s Best WCW Matches (’91-’92) with Jon Harder
Smart Marks: Child’s Play with Dino Zuko
The Ten Count: Top 10 Entrance Themes with Evan Daniels
The Heel Report: There’s Always A ‘But’ with James Wright
Ask 411 Wrestling: Macho Man, Paul Heyman, Stone Cold & More! with Justin Watry
WWE Monday Night RAW from Pittsburgh, PA || TV Review
We Begin With Steph! The Authority!
– When did they start calling Trips and Steph “The Authority”? The PPV was the first time I heard it.
– Big Show acting submissive immediately? Last night he said he was done! He screamed it as the show went off the air!
– Oh no! She poked him in the chest!
– He’d beg for forgiveness like the PPV companies have been recently, but Show’s got no money to give out refunds.
– He’s standing up to her! She’s slapping him! He’s fired!
– Short and… interesting. So is Show going to turn heel or is he going to just leave and become a beggar?
Dolph Ziggler v. Damien Sandow
– It’s a kickoff show rematch! To kick off the show!
– Chinlock already Sandow? It’s been like a minute and a half!
– This crowd does not care at all about this match.
– There they go! Ziggler’s being dominated though.
– Chinlock again? Come on, fucker!
– Chinlocks or not, he’s showing RUTHLESS AGGRESSION~!
– Ziggler shows RUTHLESS AGGRESSION~! in his comeback!
– Schoolboy into the Fameasser for the win. Cole’s been eliciting Billy Gunn’s name when DZ has done that recently.
– Match started off rough but ended up being a darn good TV match.
Six-Diva Tag: Natalya, Eva Marie & Jojo v. Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes and Aksana
– I dig the outfit on Eva Marie, but why am I supposed to care that she’s a SF Giants fan?
– Nattie with the sweet kip-up into a discus clothesline!
– Sharpshooter gets the tap! Jojo doesn’t get tagged in!
– Here’s Brad Maddox! Oh. I guess this is a new segment.
Brad Maddox Makes An Announcement!
– It’s Bryan v. Orton in HIAC on the 27th and there will be a special guest ref.
– The WWE Universe gets to pick the guest ref on THE APP! There will be 3 Hall of Famers to choose from!
– Booker T! If he wins he’ll just turn heel on Bryan! That’s not his boy! He’s in his bottom 5!
– TEACH ME HOW TO DOWNLOAD THE APP NOW! I HAVE AN ANDROID PHONE!
– Ha, King just out and says that most of us watching know how to download an app. He should have smacked Cole in the side of the head just to prove a point.
Los Matadores v. 3MB
– Los Matadores have awesome music.
– King goes 1997 on us and calls the bull “El Dorito”.
– So who the hell came up with this idea? Was it just so King and JBL could make fun of the midget all match long?
– I do appreciate any references to Mantaur and Giant Gonzales, so it’s all a wash to me.
The Heyman Guys Call Punk a Cheating Bully!
– Everybody keeps saying “balls”!
– R-Truth? Okay, sure!
– It’s a tag team match, playa!
CM Punk & R-Truth v. Ryback & Curtis Axel
– Truth’s commercial for Hell in a Cell is pretty awesome.
– Boring heat segment on Truth, but once he comes back the crowd goes batnuts for the hot tag.
– Punk knocks Ryback off the apron before hitting the GTS on Axel! That was unprovoked! Bully!
– The match was there. The finish was hot, so that’s cool with me.
Bob Backlund in Hell in a Cell!
– The crowd has no idea who he is.
– I don’t think he’s aged in 25 years.
– Mr. Backlund is OUT OF HIS MIND! I LOVE IT!
– Crowd still has no clue who he is.
– Nope.
– If I can find my phone I may actually vote for him.
Randy Orton v. Kofi Kingston
– “STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!” Man, they didn’t show that part of it. I was sure they were just trolling Kofi by playing that.
– Cole argues with JBL as the match meanders along.
– Way to not take the tornado DDT like everybody else ever, Orton.
– Match is picking up but I’m getting no feeling of “superstar” from Kofi whatsoever, which is a shame.
– SWEET powerslam from Orton to counter the springboard! Damn that looked good.
– DDT on the outside is the real finish, as the RKO victory is academic. I dig the “helpless victim” RKO. The move happening out of nowhere is its trademark, but being so decisive is also awesome.
– DANIEL BRYAN! He’s killing Orton! It’s not a pull-apart brawl, it’s a pull-off beatdown! Orton’s running!
Conflict of Interest With HBK!
– Now I just want HBK to superkick the shit out of Bryan so we can get Michaels versus Bryan. Fuck the current narrative!
– HB-Shizzle. Okie doke.
– Well they just made the vote obvious. They won’t even have to rig it!
Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio v. Ricardo Rodriguez
– Vickie announces that ADR’s opponent at HIAC will be John Cena, which allows Ricardo to pin him with the schoolboy!
– Dude, that fall Ricardo took was vicious. And there goes Rodriguez for a while. Seriously, bring back EL LOCAL~! to fight for his honor!
– Why are they teasing that John Cena is going to be at Hell in a Cell?
– Are they really going to do it?
Fandango v. Zack Ryder
– Enthralling.
Shawn Michaels wins the WWE APP VOTE by a landslide. I guess it’s easier to do an app vote than to come up with a reason for Michaels to be in there.
The Real Americans v. Santino Marella & Great Khali
– OH MY GOD IT’S A PPV REMATCH! I couldn’t sleep last night because I was hoping we would get this!
– “We The People” chant. Cool.
– The Swagger Bomb followed by the leapfrog doublestomp is fantastic.
– Too bad this RAW has been anything but.
– I’m not one of those people who complain that it’s stupid to give something away on free TV instead of doing it on PPV and making people pay for it (Why would I care? It’s not my company.) but why do the Cesaro Swing on Khali on PPV and then just rehash the exact same match the next night on TV, including the only spot that anybody cares about?
Fuck Miz TV! They’re Here!
– The Wyatt Family try to take out Miz, but he runs away. That’s fun.
– If he’s trying to get rid of everybody one-by-one, shouldn’t he actually get rid of them? Yeah, Kane’s been gone for almost 2 months but Kofi’s just fine!
Six-Man Tag: Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes & Goldust v. The Shield
– Good team work from Cody and Goldust. I wonder how long Goldy is going to stick around.
– I liked Sandow v. Ziggler and Orton v. Kofi, but this show has been insanely uneventful.
– At least they set a record for the most votes for a WWE APP poll.
– Cody’s moonsault press is gorgeous, especially when he doesn’t over or undershoot it. The accuracy has been steadily improving.
– Crowd goes nuts for the Bryan hot tag! It’s a pier six brawl!
– Rollins is about to tap but Ambrose gets The Shield disqualified by using a chair.
– Triple H doesn’t like that, so now it’s a No DQ match.
– It’s a pier seven brawl!
– Orton comes out of the crowd and hits the RKO! He tosses Bryan into the ring! It can’t be!
– No! Oh my god is it going to happen? SETH ROLLINS! SETH ROLLINS! SETH ROLLINS GETS A PINFALL VICTORY!
– It’s a Shield beatdown until the fired Big Show returns. Is the heel turn happening?
– Nope! Big Show knocks out Triple H! And Bryan celebrates over his fallen body!
Overall RAW Thoughts: Not much going on here. Big Show finally punched out Triple H (after getting fired but still having music) and we found out that Shawn Michaels is the guest ref for the Hell in a Cell match. As I said above, Ziggler v. Sandow was a good TV match and Orton v. Kofi was as well (though both got off to rather slow starts), and the main event match was good while it lasted. It was all about the storyline, though, which was done well. I would have dropped the show’s first segment with the firing and had Show not appear until the very end to blast Triple H but that’s not really an important detail right now. I could totally go for Triple H versus Big Show at Hell in a Cell. They had a couple good matches a few years back and it’s something different than the usual undercard PPV stuff they’ve been doing. The Heyman/Punk feud was fully on the backburner tonight. I wonder if they have any idea where they’re going with it next. Punk accepted a rematch with Ryback, but there was never an actual challenge made. Oh, and what’s with the Cena thing? That was weird.
– AJ Lee may be out with a concussion. Even though Tamina’s only been her bodyguard for 5 minutes, she should turn on AJ and take the title in order to set up a face-turn return for AJ to stop the unstoppable Tamina. I guess.
– Word is that Alberto Del Rio’s next title feud will be with Christian. That’s fine, I guess. I’d prefer El Local. Legitimately.
– Before we put our son to bed we watched Dinner: Impossible, and it was the WWE edition! I didn’t know they did that! It was from the day of (or day before) SummerSlam 2009. I have nothing interesting to add. There’s just not much by way of news this week.
– Matt Hardy married Reby Sky. That’s news if you care. Joey Abs was in attendance. I care about that part.
– Hulk Hogan’s contract with TNA expired on October 1. The fact that Dixie Carter is actually negotiating with him to keep him around just further proves that she simply doesn’t get it.
– Sylvester Stallone offered Great Khali a legitimate (kinda) role in a (mostly) legitimate big movie but WWE turned it down. That’s dumb.
– You can have a phone chat with Sunny for 3 dollars a minute! Minimum is 4 minutes and max is 300! Who the hell could stand listening to that loon on the phone for 5 hours?
WWE Battleground 10.6.13 || PPV Review
– I am pretty sure I just did one of these like 20-25 minutes ago. Man, they’re just cramming them in there right now, ain’t they? Good thing I’ve got somebody else to pay for the shows because I’ve got a bunch of mouths to feed and another on the way and I’m broke as sheeeee-it. And stuff. Anyway, off with the show.
– Sandow v. Ziggler on the Kickoff show was a good match. I caught it about 1/4 of the way in so I did see the majority of it and I liked what I saw. It would be nice to see either man get some momentum (and some sort of focused story) leading into the PPV at the end of the month (can’t even freakin’ say next month’s show!) but I’d be satisfied with Ziggler, since Sandow’s holding the briefcase, and he who holds the briefcase generally becomes he who does nothing for a long while. That holds true even moreso when you win the briefcase while in the midst of being part of team Doing Nothing For A While.
– Del Rio v. RVD in the “Battleground Hardcore Match” (or whatever) was the perfect choice to open the PPV proper. Both guys looked good, they got some cool spots in and the crowd was hot. I liked Ricardo’s short moment of interference retribution and the finish was great. It’s a shame that ADR can’t seem to get over the right way… he’s got the look, he’s got the ability and he’s got the personlity and presence. For some reason, though, he just exists as a “main eventer” that nobody really cares about one way or the other. Back in 2011 when he was in the WWE Title picture he seemed to be finally hitting on something with his incredibly ruthless/aggressive character, but he’s gone back and forth from ruthless to cocky (even as a face) since then and they never stuck with anything. Maybe the refreshing he needs would come in the form of being a silent killer. We already know he’s got the ability to be absolutely vicious in the ring and he can do it very well. Have somebody take him out and put him on the shelf for a while and then have him come back to get silent vengeance on the guy. Play up that he’s changed and the rumors are that he has a new man standing beside him, which explains his complete silence. Make him a Heyman guy and go from there. It’s got potential if nothing else.
– Great Khali & Santino v. The Real Americans was wholly inoffensive. The ring work was fine, and keeping the awful Real Americans gimmick essentially as a comedy role is where it needs to be. That’s a shame, though, since Cesaro and Swagger actually make for a darn good tag team. Honestly at this point I think that’s where Swagger belongs for the rest of his career. He doesn’t have ‘it’ to be an interesting singles guy, but he’s got tons of talent and is great as 1/2 of a tag team. The match was all just posturing and waiting for the Cesaro Swing, and we got what we wanted. Good times had by all. Side note: I love Khali’s music and sometimes I randomly dance down my hallway with it playing in my head. Judge me if you must.
– Curtis Axel v. R-Truth was reportedly a match for the IC Title. I was putting my kid to bed and I’ve got zero qualms with this being a match that I had to miss. Nothing against either man, but there’s nothing here to care about. Truth’s win over Axel in a non-title match actually got him a title shot instead of just “getting him into the hunt” or whatever silliness says any time somebody wrestles a champion in a non-title contest. That’s notable I guess.
– AJ Lee v. Brie Bella was a good Divas Title match from what I saw. I had little interest so I took the time to attend to homemaking matters. That kinda sounds dirty. To be fair, it kinda is dirty, since it involved litterboxes and trash. Anyway, the couple minutes I caught were more than competent, which is all I’m really asking for at this point. AJ really is something special, though, and it would be fantastic if they could get somebody up to the main roster to take advantage of her overness and in-ring ability. Seriously, get Paige on the road NOW! Let them feud for a while (over who the biggest “anti-diva” is?) and then do whatever. Capitalize on what you’ve got right now, though!
– Cody & Goldust v. Rollins & Reigns was god damned awesome. I loved the whole thing bell-to-bell and all the way through to the end of the segment. All four of the men in the match did everything right and Dusty and Dean were great on the outside. The angle, in my opinion, has been stellar, and this match was the PERFECT way to pay it off on PPV. Spectacular match, red-hot crowd, everybody hitting on all cylinders and nobody looking bad coming out of it. There’s nothing more anybody could possibly ask for out of this match. I was on the edge of my seat and really cheering hard for the Rhodes boys and it was a great moment when Cody nailed the CrossRhodes and picked up the win. Not sure where they go from here, but from the comment from Cody to Triple H that led him to the Orton match all the way up to the end of this match they have crafted a damn fine piece of professional wrestling, both in-ring and out. Bravo.
– Bray Wyatt v. Kofi Kingston was fine, but it was just a RAW match on PPV. I read that they were considering making this a 6-man tag with Kofi teaming with the Usos, which would have definitely been an improvement. The Wyatts still get their win, but instead of doing an average one-on-one match in 7 minutes they could have done 2 minutes one-on-one, had the Family get involved, Usos come out for the save and then do 5-7 more minutes of non-stop tag action that ends with Bray pinning Kofi. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other as long as they’re actually going somewhere with the “one by one” deal they’re doing with Bray. There’s so much potential there; I wonder if they intended for the Wyatts to be of more importance but when Daniel Bryan took off as insanely hard as he did they dropped back on it and are going to leave it in low gear until they can get more focus. Or they never had a long-term plan to begin with, which is what Triple H was reportedly against doing upon bringing up new talent. We’re just going to have to wait and see! Oh, and Bray’s high impact crossbody rules. Too bad he couldn’t have been more graceful at the end of the Exorcist walk, too. That was bad ass.
– Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton was an absolutely fantastic wrestling match. I thought it was significantly better than their contest at Night of Champions. The big story, of course, is the finish. I get that people like to see a finish for a match that they pay for, but anybody who is expecting that from a pro wrestling show are kidding themselves. Not just in general, but specifically for this match. What were you expecting? I mean seriously, what? Let’s look at the options:
………. Bryan Wins Clean – We’ve been burned two PPVs in a row on Bryan title wins. It would be an uneasy and likely unfulfilling victory/celebration, as everybody would just be waiting to find out what loophole they would use to screw him out of the belt before he gets a chance to hold it for more than 24 hours. Maybe the finish we got wasn’t what you were looking for, but a clean Bryan win and legitimate title reign wouldn’t make sense in the current narrative. Where’s the big blowoff? It’s kinda boring, really.
………. Orton Wins Clean – This just takes the wind out of everybody’s sails. All these weeks upon weeks of Bryan getting destroyed and dominated by “The Authority” in nearly impossible-to-survive situations and he loses clean to Orton? The whole point is that it has taken a massive amount of people and tons of political power to hold Bryan down, yet it could have been as easy as just letting Orton go out there and get the job done? What a waste of time and effort that would have been for Triple H and Stephanie! The heel doesn’t get a clean win in a storyline like this. That makes no gosh-darned frickin’ sense.
………. Orton Wins Nefariously – This is what most people were probably expecting, but the idea seems to be that Triple H and Stephanie don’t want to take Orton back into the love triangle until he can prove he’s truly the monster he used to be, so it wouldn’t be advantageous for them to help him win, since it would mean he might not be able to do it himself and it could cause more work for them. Something like that. I don’t think Stephanie lashing out at Orton the night after NoC was a ruse. Orton wasn’t in on that one and now he has to gain the trust back.
………. No Finish/Schmozz – As odd as it may sound to some, this was what I was hoping for. I didn’t know what they exactly intended to do, but I truly hoped that the belt would still be held up after this show. Yeah, Orton winning via interference technically works too, but it’s more chaotic if we continue forward without a champion for a little while longer. Was the Big Show punching out everybody finish the right way to go? I don’t know. It was okay. Double count out? The old “both guys’ shoulders were down” dealie? That could work too, but at least the Big Show finish furthered the story. It’s not a case of the PPV advertising the TV show. It’s a PPV being the next in the series of events that lead to the eventual blowoff. Fuck finishes are a staple in pro wrestling and have been for a long, long time. It happens. Does a ref counting a fall really make or break a show? A finish didn’t fit with the story they’re telling.
Hard Knock Wrestling
Rickey Shane Page & Eric Ryan v. Pete Dunn & Mark Andrews || HKW The Takeover – September 1, 2013
From Alex Torres: “Dunne and Andrews have impressed in every match I’ve seen them in. We are lucky to have them in the States, and any promoter would be a fool not to get them on their card. Page and Ryan more than held up their share, both underrated talents that I’d love to see break out. All four men brought something highly enjoyable to the table, while Andrews and Page’s exchanges being a real highlight for me. While the technical aspects of the camera work leave something to be desired, this is a match you should go out of your way to see.”
Percussion. Told ya.
There’s no PPV this Sunday, right?
– Nicholas A. Marsico
