MeeThinks 12.20.05: A Double-take On Triple H
Posted by John Meehan on 12.20.2005
Because HHHatorade is SO 2003
”Methinks he seems no bigger than his head.”
- Edgar, King Lear
Act IV, scene vi
Hello again, wrestling fans around the world! I’m super-pumped to be back in action for y’all this week, as we’ve got a TON of new material and another installment of the ORIGINAL “most positive in the Internet Wrestling Community” on tap for this week. “MeeThinks” – eliminating ‘net-gativity one column at a time… well that’s what I always say, anyway.
(Speaking of positivity, get yourself in the Christmas spirit head on over to the Movies Zone to check out my review of The Muppet Christmas Carol DVD. Then hop on over to Blockbuster or Best Buy and get your Muppet on!)
Now then –
This week’s debate?
MeeThinks: A Double-take on Triple H Because HHHatorade is SO 2003
Since the John Cena column did so well in terms of reader responses, I figured I just HAD to push the next obvious IWC hot-button again this week and tackle the ‘Web’s favorite whipping boy. Last week we departed from our usual format to show our troops some love, but this week it’s back to regular format 101 (with a bit of military-love thrown in for good measure at the end). So – get those typin’ fingers ready and prepare yourselves for a closer look at one of the most hated men in the business today…
The Cerebral Assassin himself…
Triple H.
Our Story So Far…
Paul Michael Levesque, the man now known as “Triple H,” joined the (then-)WWF in 1995. After a brief and not particularly noteworthy stint under the name of “Terra Ryzing” in Turner’s WCW (get it?! ”Terrorizing!”), Levesque debuted in McMahon-land under the name of “Hunter Hearst Helmsley” – a stuck-up, Greenwich Connecticut blueblood snob and Vinny Mac’s own personal “in-joke” to rib on his newfound “old-money” neighbors (McMahon had just relocated to the hoity-toity town of Greenwich some months prior).
Though his in-ring work was still pretty limited, and the promos were snoozers (even with the faux-aristocrat accent), Levesque played the part to perfection, and the “blueblood” gimmick earned the fans ire and made Hunter Hearst Helmsley one of the most hated heels on the WWF roster. (Since “Hunter Hearst Helmsley” takes like forever to type, we’re just going to call him “Triple H,” for short from here on out, k?) On-screen, Triple H was getting mad over, and off-screen the man behind the gimmick was slowly befriending WWF standouts Scott Hall, Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels. By way of a number of on-and-off-screen avenues, the man was definitely laying the groundwork for an eventual run at the top.
Naturally, then, the decision was made to feed him to the Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania XII.
And Hunter jobbed like a pro, losing the match in less than two minutes, making the Warrior look like a world-beater, and “earning a favor” with Vinny Mac in the process by agreeing to take the squash-dive defeat at the “Grandaddy of Them All.” Shoot, the guy even let his opponent no-sell his finisher.
Anyhow, that favor (and his backstage friendships) paid off some months later when Warrior self-destructed/imploded/nutjobbed out/etc. for the umpteenth time, and Trips was slotted to win the 1996 King of the Ring tourney as a reward for being such a company man.
Well, until the MSG Curtain Call, that is.
note: In case you’re unfamiliar – here’s the short version of the story: Nash & Hall were on their way out of WWF for WCW, and on their last night in the company, WWF held a house show at Madison Square Garden. Hall – playing the face “Razor Ramon” – took on Levesque (the heel Triple H), and Nash – playing the heel “Diesel” – took on the face Champion in Shawn Michaels. After the final match, all four members of “the clique” left the backstage area and joined in the center of the ring for an embrace – TOTALLY blowing kayfabe (in an era long before it was considered “dead”) and infuriating the WWF brass with their lack of professionalism along the way.
Since Hall & Nash were gone and Michaels was the WWF Champion, Vinny Mac needed a fall guy… and Triple H fit the bill. So plans for KotR were scrapped (thus giving the crown to Austin in the same PPV that birthed the same “Austin 3:16” catchphrase that catapulted the biggest star of the attitude era), and Hunter was put on “job patrol” for the better part of the next year – making Spike Dudley’s win/loss ratio look enviable by comparison and dropping all sorts of embarrassing contests to the likes of Henry O. Godwinn (Pig Farmer) and Duke “The Dumpster” Drosse (Garbage Man).
“Paying your dues” indeed.
Flash forward to 1997 when Trips finally got that KotR win that he’d been promised a year before. Still a heel, Hunter took the opportunity to use his newfound KotR bragging rights to form an on-screen alliance with his real-life lady(?)-friend, Chyna and his real-life running buddy, Shawn Michaels. The group was called “degeneration X” and the rest was history.
Blah blah blah, dX folded blah blah blah attitude era blah blah blah world title after world title blah blah ratings war blah blah blah WWF bought WCW… which pretty much brings us to the quad injury of 2001.
Oh yeah, except for that small matter of dumping Chyna and marrying the boss’s daughter in 2003.
Yeah… and the fact that she’s the head writer behind of the company he works for.
But we’ll get into that in a bit.
Back to the HHHistory–
Add in a few more “blah blah blahs,” a few more world title reigns, a slew of 20-minute promos, that whole “Evolution” thing, and you’re pretty well caught up to speed as to how we all got to where we are today.
Where’s that, you ask?
Triple H is back from a quarter-year-sabbatical and smack dab in the middle of a program with Ric Flair. After dropping a hard-fought cage match contest at this year’s Taboo Tuesday, Trips’ last major PPV victory (as of this writing) was in a nasty last-man-standing match over the Nature Boy. Following the Triple H/Flair program (or the tabling of said program for the time-being), Trips looks to be headed towards a feud with The Big Show.
"This is so funny I can hardly even write it. Seems Triple H recently discovered the Internet. That’s funny enough, that a man in 2005 could just recently have discovered the Internet. It gets better. As the story goes, he went online and was shocked to read what people thought about him. I guess he figured he’d go online and hear everyone talking about how he was the next Ric Flair, and the greatest of all time, and so on. So now, he’s obsessed with message boards and such, and he’s outraged, which is why we got that angry promo on Raw last week and will be getting more insider bullshit in the future. There is a belief that he’s actually so obsessed about his legacy that he will in some way work hard to change the current perception. All I have to say is if that’s his plan, he’s done a pretty shitty job so far the last few weeks. In his defense, I was one of those on the Internet that did actually vote for him for the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame, and I’m also one of those who thinks that, in terms of his in-ring, he’s criticized more than he deserves. Now as far as his political maneuverings and such, and the reason he’s still on top right now after all these years and could get the WWE Title back whenever he wanted it (and will), that’s criticism that I wouldn’t consider unfair."
Naturally, the IWC rumor mill is running wild with their vintage “serves him right!” Triple HHHatred once again, and (apparently) Hunter himself is reading these articles and taking the criticisms to heart.
Fair enough, I suppose.
So, if you’re reading…
“Hey Hunter, listen up! I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to hear what I have to say on this one!”
So grab a seat and join me in a more in-depth examination of the many sides of Triple H in this week’s…
MeeThinks?
If anyone is still sipping on that HHHatorade that was all the rage in 2001, kindly check your smark attitude at the door and open your eyes.
Let’s look at this issue a little more closely, shall we?
My military buddy private first class Tristan Hathaway sent in the following note from his LIVE NOTES from the RAW show filmed two weeks ago (aired 12/19) at the Bagram Air Force Base in Afghanistan:
I got to the location about 3 1/2 hours early, and there were MAYBE 30 people in front of me in line. So time went by really fast, we got to see all the wrestlers come in, and HHH (and only HHH), came out and walked down the line and shook every single persons hand, which at this point was about 500 people. When he got to me and my buddy, Sgt. Allende, he stopped and pointed out Allende's sign "I came all the way from Italy to see RAW". Trips asked him if he really flew in from Italy just for today, Allende says "No, but I'm pretending" and Trips says "Badass."
No cameras. No politics. No ulterior motives.
Just professionalism and class, folks.
… two qualities that so many critics are quick to dog the man for not having.
And to those fans, I’d kindly like to say the following:
“Get over yourselves.”
Triple H is one of the best performers in the business today, hands down.
Did he politic for his spot?
You betcha. Befriending HBK when the Showstoppah’ was at the top of his game back in ’96 certainly didn’t hurt his cause. Sure, getting all buddy-buddy with Hall & Nash most definitely helped The Game learn a thing or two about how to play it on his way to the top. And yeah, marrying Stephanie McMahon virtually assured Trips’ place in the main event scene for years (perhaps even generations to come). By all rights, at this point Triple H could very well sit back and laugh his way to the McMahon family fortune as he makes sure that his chesty young bride books him all the way to main event superstardom for eons to come.
But you know what?
He doesn’t.
Instead – Triple H has hardly rested on his laurels. Quite on the contrary, he’s proven time and again to be a consummate professional, a company man (when the circumstances are right), and a dedicated student of the game.
Ok – so his promos have been longwinded (at times) and flat-our snoozefests (at others). The McMahon/Helmsley era was particularly noteworthy for its thoroughly dreadful missives, and a lot of that early Evolution stuff was loaded with that over-inflated, egocentric, Scott Keith-esque “I love shoot comments that aren’t meant to be shoot comments” goodness (lameness?).
But that was almost three years ago, folks… cut the guy some slack. His recent promos have been much more succinct, and far more entertaining. But we’ll get into that more in a second, here… but first – the age-old question:
Has Triple H totally squashed the momentum of more than a handful of opponents that he should probably have put over along the way?
Well, yes and no.
Booker T comes to mind in the “yes” category (man, that one was heartbreaking). And hindsight being 20/20, this one was probably a dropped ball on both WWE and Hunter’s part, too. No excuses, just bad decisions all around, is all.
Ditto for jobbing the then-ECW-champion Taz(z) out to Triple H in unspectacular fashion some years back, too. But then again, Vince himself has admitted (see: The Rise and Fall of ECW) that that whole idea was a mistake on his part, so don’t be so quick to hold Hunter solely at fault in this case.
Tajiri fanatics like my good buddy and housemate Brian are likely to be pissed that their hero jobbed to Triple H on his way out of the company. But then again, as my friend was quick to point out, “Tajiri really isn’t on Triple H’s level, ya know… and you’ve gotta admit that Trips’ Karate Kid-style crane kick pose was pretty damn funny.”
When looking at the squash-ees, RVD might warrant a mention, as well. But then again, with his spotty (read: at times, sloppy) ringwork and his *ahem* “less than exemplary” choice of off-screenrecreational lifestyle, there’s probably a certain amount of liability that would come with giving RVD the company’s top prize, and there’s probably just as many who’d argue against having RVD as champ out there as there are fans, MeeThinks. I personally love the guy, but I can totally see why people might second-guess the decision to make him the champ.
Speaking of second-guessing –
Hunter’s involvement in the Kane/Katie Vick program is best forgotten. But then again, this case was probably just as much Hunter’s ego as it was WWE’s “brilliant” decision to go all-out with the soap opera approach, and Kane’s 1-day-run as WWF champ is probably just as easily forgotten as this angle too, ya know.
And since we’ve mentioned forgettable –
The Steiner fanboys (both of you) will probably come out in full force and demand that we rewrite the history books so that The Game jobs cleanly to Big Poppa Pump… but then again, Scott Steiner was simply way past his peak and just in no shape to be competing for (let alone holding!) a World Title by the time he washed ashore in WWE a few years back. A similar case could be made for the mishandling of Bill Goldberg.
But in all of the above cases, let’s go back and look at those feuds (and those promos!) again –
Put yourself in Trips’ boots for a second, and imagine the following scenario:
You worked your way to the top of the company for years and dedicated your entire life to the business. One day, by hook or by crook you find yourself aligned with the OWNER’S DAUGHTER, and all of the sudden, you’ve got COMPLETE creative control and the opportunity to say and do WHATEVER you’d like!
Do you:
a) do what’s “good for business,” even if it means pushing yourself out of the spotlight?
or do you:
b) say “screw the rest of ‘em” and gorge yourself on your newfound spotlight like a kid in a candy store?
Not to sound selfish here, but *I* know which option I’d be most likely to choose. Heck, play through a season of Smackdown vs. RAW and then honestly try and tell me that you’re willing to let your CAW lose the world title in the main event at Wrestlemania without the thought of slamming the “RESET” button dashing through your brain at least once.
Then (extending that analogy) – after you’ve already won the belt and you’re forced to defend it PPV after PPV and RAW after RAW, honestly try and tell me that you’re totally cool with taking the loss on the chin and dropping the strap even if your opponent happens to be somebody like, say, Tajiri or Jeff Hardy.
Sure, it’s only a “fake” wrestling game, but would YOU be willing to accept a clean loss in order to put those guys over “for the good of the business?”
Didn’t think so.
And (by extension) you can’t really Triple H for power-tripping in real life based on those exact same principles. Sure, one is a “fake game” and one is a “fake sport,” but the fact remains that *both* require the “fake loser” to be totally cool with it once their luck runs out or the odds catch up with them. And – given the fact that Trips was still sort of “new” to this whole “hey, I’ve got some real power here” game – it’s not really an unforgivable sin that, in his relative unfamiliarity with the scope of the stroke that he was wielding, he ultimately chose the course of action that he did. I mean shoot…
Flair’s done it.
Nash’s done it.
Russo’s done it.
Dusty made a career of doing it.
Vince, Stephanie and Shane McMahon have each done it more times than we’d care to remember.
… and Jarrett’s doing it as we speak.
In short – once you’ve got all of the power in the world, it takes time to learn the proper limitations of said power. Yeah, some people got squashed along the way and hours of TV time were blown while you “tested your boundaries.” But if you look at Trips’ win/loss record SINCE the McMahon/Helmsley era & the infancy of Evolution, it certainly looks like even he is learning that every power has limits.
And besides –
Even when he was “testing the waters” (read: overexposing himself ad naseum), let’s not be too quick here to say that Triple H “never” did anything during that time to put anybody but himself over. There’s more than a number of exceptions to that old fallacy, ya know. Time after time and feud after feud, he’s given the rub to a multitude of superstars ranging from breakouts (Orton) to legends (Foley, Austin) to flashes in the pan (let’s not forget that Triple H lost the World Title to Bill Goldberg and the IC strap to Jeff Hardy, folks).
Remember WrestleMania 20?
I do. (Well, I was there live, so I should ;-). Remember who tapped cleanly and made Chris Beniot a World Champion?
Ding! Triple H.
How about WrestleMania 21? Who put Dave Batista on the map?
Ding ding! Triple H.
“Oh sure,” the haters will say, “Batista was destined to be the breakout star of Evolution” ever since (perhaps even before) Randy Orton’s first world title run proved to be a disaster (though part of me still thinks that they just made Orton the WWE champ to stick it to Brock Lesnar – who, until Randy, was the youngest WWE champion in history)…
But remember, folks –
A face challenger is only as convincing as his heel opponent both over himself AND is willing to put his opponent over.
And if we learned anything from the JBL/Cena debacle discussed two weeks ago – it’s pretty clear that a longstanding, deep-seated rivalry is a MUCH more effective catapult in propelling a breakout babyface into the bona-fide “superstar” stratosphere than any program that’s just thrown together to pit “token face” against “token heel.”
Batista owes a LOT to Triple H, as The Cerebral Assasin was not only willing to play the heel role to the point where fans were just salivating to see the guy get his ass kicked, but also because The Game was willing to do it not once or twice… but three times in a row.
Go back and watch that Hell in a Cell match at Vengeance of this year again and try and honestly tell me that you’re STILL not convinced that Hunter is definitely going to crack Batista between the eyes with that sledgehammer.
But what happens?
Hunter can’t get it off in time, and Dave drops him square onto a steel set of ring steps.
And in case there was ever any doubt before – Batista retains the World Title in spectacular fashion, and a star is born.
Thanks, Hunter.
Look at RAW in Afghanistan – HBK is the babyface headed into a six-man main event with nothing to lose, while Hunter is a heel desperately trying to get some heat back on his way into a MIDCARD feud with Big Show. By all rights, Triple H could really use a win here. But what happens? Hunter jobs cleanly and sends the troops home happy.
Thanks again, Hunter.
Heck, even look at Triple H’s upcoming program against The Big Show – fans are actually starting to (gasp) CARE about the Giant once again… something that years of poor booking and mishandling (speaking of a guy who lost to Jeff Hardy) led many IWC naysayers to believe would never be possible. Slow and plodding as they may be, people actually WANT to see a Big Show match, for a change.
And again, thank you, Hunter.
Let’s look at the recent Flair feud as a perfect example of just how darned “giving” The Game really is:
Sure, the beatdown of the Nature Boy on the night of Triple H’s (and WWE’s) Homecoming was merciless and incredibly one-sided. But right on the heels of that, we saw Flair cut one of the best promos of the past 10 years of his career, and we had the opportunity to witness the Nature Boy pull out all the stops and deliver a ****+ classic years after everybody said he simply didn’t have it left in him.
“But John,” you’ll say, “Triple H then went on to BEAT the same guy in a last man standing match just one month later! That’s hardly putting somebody over, ya know.”
True, except for three small facts:
1) Ric Flair is the Intercontinental Champion, and neither match was for the strap. If Trips really wanted to put himself over the Nature Boy, he would have ended the feud by taking the man’s title in their last contest to do so. Instead, they’ve evened the score 1-1, and with Trips taking on Big Show and Naitch seemingly moving towards a program with Edge for the time-being, you just KNOW that the two have at least one more match in them. Maybe even at WrestleMania, come to think of it…
2) Kind of a corollary to #1, but – Triple H was smart enough NOT to make the Flair feud about the IC strap. The feud was about friendship, betrayal and pride… and the fact that Hunter was savvy enough to know that adding the IC strap to the mix would only muddle things up is a testament to his understanding of the business. Let Flair drop the title (or forfeit it) and let the up-and-comers in the midcard battle over who’ll get to wear it next – there’s ZERO reason for Triple H to walk around with the IC strap at this point in his career. It’d be bad for the title picture and bad for the title itself (Trips has already learned his lesson about dominating ONE title picture), and you can BET that The Game knows it.
3) The scheduled finish to the Survivor Series last man standing match (according to all reports) was fixed to have been a schmozz/brawl-type no-contest ending with neither man going over cleanly. If that was the scheduled finish, and Trips’ WIFE is the one who helps schedule the finishes, then does anybody REALLY believe that Trips didn’t know that HHH/Flair II was booked to end in a no-contest? Instead, however, reports indicate that is was FLAIR (NOT Triple H) who insisted that The Game be allowed to go over cleanly… a testament to Flair’s love of the business and a clear indication that Triple H had every intention of letting the Nature Boy get the best of him by not getting his win back (just yet).
In other words –
Yeah, Trips went over at Survivor Series, but he most certainly could have done so in a more convincing (and to Flair, detrimental) fashion. Instead, Triple H slow-played it to the point where the feud became so hot that it simply won’t matter which of the two men ultimately comes out the victor in their inevitable rubber match – fans are just dying to see these two lock horns one more time.
If THAT isn’t putting somebody over, I don’t know what is.
Agree? Disagree? “Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!”
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii
Shoot me YourThinks and I’ll post your thoughts next week!
In the meantime…
RAW is (literally) WAR!!! (This week’s stand-in for the “YourThinks” Quote of the Week)
Ladies (all five of you) and gentlemen – at this time, it gives me great honor and pleasure to present to you the second installment of 411Mania’s EXCLUSIVE, NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN photos of the WWE’s tour or Afghanistan (courtesy of 411 reader PFC Tristan Hathaway – who I’m SO buying a beer for after the war, by the way!):
(Click the pic to see a full gallery of 411 EXCLUSIVE stills from the Triple H / Shawn Michaels “Boot Camp” Match):
Like I said last week – phenomenal stuff, and a privilege to post it in here. Thanks again for this, “Hardcore” Hathaway – God bless you, stay safe, and get home soon, dude.
Now back to business as usual…
The Unofficial Glossary of Professional Wrestling: Volume V
We’re compiling a massive Wrestling Glossary of fan observations of the clichés, trends, and standbys of the wrestling world that might as well serve as the unofficial “rulebook” for this sport we all love so well. Each week, I’ll post one an entry of my own as well as a few submitted by you, my faithful (and hopefully articulate) readers.
It’s simple, really. You submit an entry, I add it to the Glossary, and you get the credit.
This week’s additions…
Popeye’s Law
If a wrestler rolls his hands in a motion mimicking the punching of a speed bag prior to punching an opponent, the speed and force of his punch will have magnified proportionally with each rotation of his hands. As such, punches delivered by wrestlers have first rolled their hands in this manner are assured to fell an opponent – regardless of height, weight or level of fatigue.
- Meehan (with help from Mark Satrang)
The Automatic Contendership Clause
(A corollary to the "Reinvokasize Rule.")
Whenever a heel champion loses his belt, he will exercise his right to a rematch at the earliest opportunity. (Exception: if the heel champion foolishly waives the rematch clause when signing the contract for the match, the heel must then re-earn his contendership. See: Layfield, John "Bradshaw.") FACE champions, however, are usually exempt from a rematch clause (exception: see – Beniot, Chris). Also, in the cases of certain main event wrestlers, no matter how long they have been absent or how many matches they have won/lost, they reserve the right to name themselves as number-one contender at any time, and they will intimidate/manipulate the commissioner/director of authority/general manager into making it official at any moment’s notice. It helps that said wrestlers have an ownership interest in the company. (see: Jarrett, Jeff; Helmsley, Hunter Hearst).
– =Jay 2K Winger=
The Inexplicable Law of Undertaker Invulernability
The Undertaker cannot be hurt by any unconventional means.
While a chairshot to the head, or a Stone Cold Stunner, or any regular wrestling move can have an impact on him – perhaps even enough to knock him out or at least get a three-count – more extreme measures have no effect. Being buried alive, rammed in a car, blown up, or put into a casket and then set aflame do not harm Taker in the least. Said acts merely enrage the dead man and cause him to hide away and play debilitating mind games with his attacker.
Frankly, you're better off using a chair.
– kahz
Security Statute
It is a well-known fact that ANY kind of security guard is wholly ineffective. This includes arena security, personal security and hired goons.
Supplemental Security Information:
1) If told to separate two wrestlers, security will undoubtedly turn up two minutes after said wrestlers have already started brawling.
2) If guarding a dressing room, security personnel will assuredly be distracted or chased off. (aka- “Monty Python’s Law”). A noteworthy exception to this rule, of course, is the Playboy Mansion guards.
3) Security personnel will NEVER notice if a wrestler dresses up in standard-issue security guard garb so as to infiltrate security personnel and pose as a member of their group.
4) It is a well known fact that since there is “no money” outside of “the big leagues,” ALL local indy workers hold jobs as security guards by day (and on Monday and Tuesday nights).
5) It takes no less than FOUR security guards to successfully knock on Goldberg’s door.
– Vonbrown
The Law of Partners’ Trust
If a team is together for a extended period of time, and member A starts to get sick of member B. Member A need not worry about Member B catching onto this, no matter how much bad stuff he does. Member A can successfully plan a full-out screwing of Member B, knowing that member B trusts him completely. Member A can do anything just shy of pulling out a gun and capping Member B's ass, and Member B will think that Member A is out for the good of the team. Barbershop windows help to drive home the point that this is, in fact, NOT the case.
– Todd Vote
The Phenomenon of Hulk-a-maniacal Futility
The fundamental principle of wrestling that states that regardless of how much damage one has endured during a match, if one simply pumps both fists in phase while occasionally "shaking the cobweb's" out of one's head, a temporary state of invincibility is created. This state, known as "Hulking Up", creates the Hulkamaniacal (pronounced “hul-ka-muh-NIE-ickle”) effect that renders said wrestler impermeable to any and all physical attacks courtesy of his opponent, effectively ensuring the futility of any attempts of said opponent to gain the upper hand. Well-placed eye gouges or kicks to the groin have been known to counter the effects of said phenomenon, but only on rare occasion. Likewise, the addition of a finger point coupled with a finger shake is believed to psychologically cripple the opponent – dulling their senses, encouraging a state of disorientation, and rendering their defenses useless. As a result, the opponent becomes vulnerable to elementary moves such as the boot to the face, the body slam, and the leg drop.
– Nelson M. Lafreniere
Top-notch stuff once again, guys, and further proof that I’ve got the best readers in the world. More entries next week, so keep ‘em coming!
Now to the rest of the reader feedback…
YouThinks Reader Mail
Last week, I broke from the normal column format to show some love to our American soldiers (apologies in advance to my non-U.S. readers for using the collective personal “our” pronoun). A bunch of y’all sent in reactions to this column, so you’ll see them below. And a number of readers sent in general (gasp) topical, WRESTLING-related e-mails my way, too – so you’ll see them below below.
So – as always:
First the ladies, then the military stuff, then the male civilian population (read: ‘da rest!):
(As usual, feel free to shoot me YourThinks for inclusion in next week’s column).
”Letter of the Week” honors most definitely go to Marie, mother of US soldier and MeeThinks’ EXCLUSIVE Afghanistan correspondent PFC Tristan Hathaway, who shot me a few quick e-mails on the heels of last week’s column:
Hey John. Thanks for the pics from PFC Tristan Hathaway... I was so proud!! Of course I gave birth to him. From his 10 lbs 4 oz. start to his serving his country in Afghanistan I have been proud. He's a GREAT soldier and has been a 100% wrestling fan since I can remember. I know that I have tried to discourage this obsession at times... but hey... he loves it and its great fun.
Heh heh – didn't think you'd post something from an old lady. (I was watching wrestling before you were born sonny!!!) Its awesome! You seem to be very intelligent and well spoken... good image for the wrestling world to portray to the rest of the ignorants. ;-)
Thanks again for posting his emails and pics. I know it was very exciting for us to see it!
Tristan's Mom,
Marie
Thanks for reading, Ms. Marie. (note to self: fight the urge to make Shelton’s Momma joke!) Always great to see trans-generational wrestling fandom – when it’s not shamelessly peddling crap-soap-opera-stuff or T&A, watching wrestling with the family can be GREAT fun. I actually started watching at like 4 months old (WrestleMania I) because my dad was a fan (and HE was a fan because his GRANDMOTHER was a fan). Good times!
More ladies’ e-mails!? WHOAH MOMMA!!! Take THAT Nicholas Spark!
John –
My name is Linda Robin and I write columns for prowrestling.com. I was wondering if I could have your permission to post the paragraph about Triple H greeting the fans before the Raw tapings. Since so many of my readers are anti Hunter I would like to get this out and credit you for posting this.
I would appreciate it if you could get back to me either way and thank you for your time.
No problem, Linda (I said). So I sent her the “a.o.k.” and here’s her repl(ies):
John thank you so much. I just wanted to tell you the pictures are GREAT - *so* much better than what WWE put up! You did a great job with all of the news from Afghanistan! I can't tell you how much I appreciate you letting me do this. I'll credit Tristan for sure and link you. I have your posting about Hunter greeting the troops at the end of the column!
Thank YOU, Linda – both for reading AND for helping to dispel some of that ‘net-gativity that I’m always talking about! And don’t feel the need to thank Mee for the Afghanistan stuffs – that’s ALL Hardcore Hathaway, right there! Somebody betta’ call his momma! (Sorry, Tristan & Marie – just couldn’t resist ;-).
One last lady-letter before we get to the guys’ stuffs:
;) Thank YOU for responding. I've been bummed since Saturday Sentinel went down, but I find myself really enjoying your column. ^_^ Keep up the good work!
-Amanda Shanahan
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement, Amanda. And thanks for reading! Since 411’s staff writes on a purely volunteer basis, y’all’s feedback is the closest thing to “pay” that we get in compensation for our work on the site – so thanks for taking the time to shoot a line my way!
Moving from “letters from the ladies” to “letters about the troops” (then to the letters from the troops, and THEN to the rest of the batch)…
Dear John,
First off all us Americans appreciate what Tristan is doing and we do hope he gets home safely, plus the pictures were great as it showed us that these WWE superstars are just like everyone else everyday normal people, that have great skills and I also feel sorry for Tristan as he's a guy that probably goes 6" 3' or 6" 4', but next to the show he looks like a child, of course of us would probably look like a child next to the massive Show!
Again Tristan, we appreciate what you and all the troops are doing right now! Get home safe Tristan!
-Coby Preimesberger
Flora Vista,NM
Thanks, Coby. And yes – Big Show is a MASSIVE dude! My parents met him at a car show last year, and my Dad (6’2”) said the guy was easily a foot taller than him in person. How tall is that, you ask? Well, my Mom (5’1”) got her picture taken with him – and even SEATED in a normal-sized chair, he was taller than she was!
Proof once again – never mess with the Show.
Brillo, another first-time contributor – had this to say about the tribute to the troops column:
Meehan,
How's it going? I enjoyed this weeks column, i think it's good to be reminded of the work that WWE does abroad. Although, i gotta say that out of 28 pictures, they only look like they are enjoying it in one or two - just an observation.
By the way – you’re right, and JBL definitely does *not* suck. He has one of the best promos (his ripping on Masters recently was hilarious). OK, so he can't wrestle much but he makes you hate him and that's why he's ace. I'm waiting for the day he changes his name to The Billion Dollar Man!
A lot of interesting Cena thoughts too. I think what people are missing is that it's not John Cena the man who has a limited moveset, it is the current John Cena character that has a limited moveset. Also, the FU - it hasn't just changed in the last year, although i actually think it's improved recently, but back when he started out on Smackdown, the FU was a brutal move - pretty much a Death Valley Driver. He used to sit out on it and drop the neck across his leg, it was a much better move back then.
Looking forward to HHH next week
-Brillo
Thanks for writing, Brillo, and hope you enjoyed the double-take on Triple H above! Interesting observation about the WWE/Afghanistan pics, too – I’m sure the superstars had to be experiencing mixed emotion over there, ya know? Happy to be there performing, I’m sure, but humbled (and a little saddened) to know that these folks were out fighting for their country while they were thousands of miles away from their families just the same.
Yes, JBL does NOT suck. Case closed.
Your take on the FU seems to run in direct conflict with the observations of the PWI Editors. Not that they’re the authority on these things, of course, but a point worth noting just the same. And again, their observation made Mee take a second look at that move (and made a believer out of Mee!). Still – regardless of the FU’s variations over the past year – you gotta admit that Cena’s incorporation of the STF(U) into his arsenal is all kinds of cool (and overdue). Nice to see the guy not being afraid to expand his repertoire, ya know?
Moving on to two quick military reactions from our military men:
Ok, I read the article, and I loved it. In fact, the pictorial to Creed lyrics had me laughing so hard I thought I'd piss myself. Did you have a chance to check out the Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels pictures yet?! They're great, except my buddy was changing the battery on his camera and missed the finish! I'm expecting to have all the pictures online and ready for your next column, so look forward to it! Thanks again for all your support, it is very much appreciated, and BTW, I'm stationed in NC, so we'll have to get together for WrestleMania once I get home.
-PFC Tristan Hathaway
Thanks again, Tristan. Just HAD to go the Creed route with that one. Check out the rest of those pictures right here! And you heard it here first, readers... 411 “MeeThinks” WrestleMania party in the DC area – and Y’ALL are invited! If Tristan’s home in time for the Big Night and willing to make the trek up to the Diamond, then any and all readers in the DC/Metro area are more than welcome to stop over my place and enjoy the show with us! More details to follow…
Meanwhile – to the second military letter, who breaks from the “pat Mee on the back” trend and actually sinks his teeth into some *wrestling* related info:
While reading your last article I noticed that some people were surprised that Batista is 40 years old. As I am a big fan of wrestling as well as a fan of bodybuilding, I feel like I should let people in on a little secret.......muscles will continue to grow as people age even at age 40.
Here is a piece taken from a former Mr. Olympia to illustrate my point:
Among those watching Coleman raise his seventh Sandow (Mr. Olympia title) were bodybuilding's oldest Olympia titleholder, CHRIS DICKERSON, who won at 43, and its second oldest, FRANCO COLUMBU, who was 40 when he won the title in 1981. Columbu feels bodybuilding deserves notice for its unique standing as an equal opportunity sport.
"In most sports, athletes reach their peak between the ages of 20 and 30," the Sardinian strongman says. "When a boxer hits 30, he's considered old. For a tennis player, it's the same thing. But when I won the Mr. Olympia for the second time, I was 40 years old. When ALBERT BECKLES took second [in 1985], he was [reportedly] over 50!"
So as far as people being shocked that Batista is 40, take a look at the physiques of professional bodybuilders that step onto the biggest stage of their sport. The average age of a Mr. Olympia contestent is 33!!
Professional wrestling is a very physical sport that breaks the body down over time. It is rare that big men last long into their 40's due to the incredible amount of stress most of them have put on their bodies. Dave is one of the few big men that came into wrestling later in his life and hasn't taken as much punishment as most in the 40+ group. Even in his short career though, he has had some nasty injuries and age becomes a factor when it comes to healing quickly.
My hat is off to older wrestlers like Dave, Hardcore Holly, and Shawn Michaels who maintain their physiques into their 40's despite the abuse they take week in and week out. A noticeable mention has to go out to Chris Benoit (38) who will soon join this group.
That's my rant, I hope it opens some peoples eyes.
- Sgt. Chad Pervier, US Marine Corps
Thanks for that info, ‘Sarge. That’s one of those “really useful” factoids that will probably help me defend some of the “middle aged vets” in columns to come! Batista is a monster at such an advanced age (compared to his contemporaries), but a quick fact check seems we might have been mistaken in grouping him into that “over 40” category.
Chris Cervantes was the first to point this one out:
Quick question – Where is everyone getting the info that Batista is over 40?
According to Obsessedwithwrestling.com, Batista was born in January of 1969, which would only make him 4 months older than Triple H… at 36. Granted OWW.com could be wrong, but they are usually pretty accurate.
Im just sayin…
-Chris Cervantes
Reader RC noted the same problem with the “Dave is 40” statement, but came to a much different conclusion…
Hi!
Just wanted to note to you that Big Dave isn't 40+, he isn't even 40 yet :) He is a mere 39 ("a mere" compared to oldies like HHH and the fossil, formerly normal man, named Hulk Hogan.
Cheers,
RC
Good catch, gents. I double-checked my sources, too – and there seems to be some discrepancy as to the actual age of “The Animal.” Obsessed With Wrestling.com cites Dave as being 36 years old, but gerweck.net (MY personal favorite source) lists Big Dave’s date of birth as January 18, 1966 – putting him at 39 years of age (for the next month, at least).
So mea culpa - Big Dave isn’t QUITE 40 till next month at this time, my bust.
And – for the record, y’all – clarifications or calls for factual retractions (when appropriate) are welcomed and encouraged. Bad-mouthing of the Hulkster is NOT.
Fair enough ;-)?
Swell. Moving on –
David Blyth responds to my response from last week
Nice to see the letters, ALL of 'em, addressed, great work, I doubt the Hunter column will get as much of a heated response, its' more of a redundant aspect of the IWC. Putting over Benoit so many times, coupled with Batista, may have camouflaged a lot of his usual disdain from people lately. I do admit he’s' been entertaining and impressing me more than he used to do in 2003.
...But hey, if you succeed, by all means send crow my way for digestion
Just to clarify, Batista’s' match booking was not the point of my comparisons. Cena has been disguised also often (as his continued feud with Angle demonstrates), but its' the way he carries it across. In a medium tired of the rap genre and WWE trying to be anything beyond wrestling, that makes people like me appreciate Batista all the more.
Not a lot of things are about wrestlers anymore in that promotion.
-David Blyth
Appreciate your feedback, David. Like I said above – we don’t get paid for this, so dialogue with the readers is always welcome! (Though if anybody wants to shoot some cash my way, I’d be more than happy to set up a PayPal account for such a venture ;-).
I see what you’re saying about Batista’s “pure power wrestling” versus Cena’s “hip-hop-crossover” approach to making a name for themselves in the business. And maybe that’s another distinction between the two champions that is really dividing the fan base on this one. Cena gets the “casual fans” and “marks” with his mainstream marketability, Batista (who has improved LIGHT YEARS in the ring) gets respect from the “smart” fans and the ‘Net crowd who tend to prefer “WRESTLING” over “sports entertainment”).
To each his own, I suppose!
And there are still some quality quote-unquote “wrestlers” in WWE, you know. Michaels and Angle immediately come to mind, but guys like Benoit, Shelton, Mysterio, Spanky (and yes, even) MNM also know how to put some solid wrestling “substance” behind their sportz entertainment “style.” With TNA churning out purely wrestling-driven action (for the most part) though, I can totally see why one might feel that WWE’s style seems to have lost touch with the “wrestling” component of their industry.
And finally, we’ll wrap this thing up with two differing opinions on the length of John Cena’s title reign:
Dude –
I'm not going to jump in on the Cena Debate with the same eagerness as some. I, too, was a Cena fan when he was in his heel rapper period on Smackdown, but regardless of whether Cena's at fault or not, he's getting stale. He wins too much. Now, it's true, he was being forced to defend his title almost constantly by Eric "I Just Hate John Cena, Okay?" Bischoff, and since the E isn't about to have him drop his strap on Free TV, Cena HAD to win all the time.
Now, if it were me, I'd book it like I did in my fanfic "The Counter-Invasion." Early on in the story, my original character, "The Storm" Matthew Skinner, defeats Booker T to win the WCW Title (this is during my fanfic-verse's version of the Invasion). Shane McMahon, incensed about the Alliance losing its key title, declares Skinner must defend his title in every match he has, and he must defend it every single night. Skinner intentionally disqualifies himself once or twice, using a chair to take out his opponents, but throughout all of this, he's been the target of Shane's hand-picked contender, Rhyno, who has a match against the WCW Champion at the next PPV. So, night in and night out, Skinner is fighting an uphill battle, and Rhyno takes every opportunity he can to do a run-in and Gore him to the mat.
If the E wants to keep doing Cena's constant winning-streak, they need to play it kind of like that. You have a heelish GM (Bischoff or no, doesn't matter) booking Cena in title matches, and not necessarily against credible threats, but it's the "war of attrition" thing. Cena wins, but he's getting worn out from the constant fighting. And every week, the GM's hand-picked contender (let's say it's Angle) runs out and attacks Cena, then powders out, further weakening him. Then, at the PPV, when Cena defends against Angle, he's REALLY the underdog, since Angle's fresh, and Cena's still hurting from the war of attrition. Cena could lose here, after taking a hellacious beating from Kurt, but the announcers (Joey Styles, I'm looking at you particularly,) play up the fact that if Cena had been fresher, and hadn't been fighting the war of attrition with Angle and the GM for the past two months (or whatever), he might've come out the winner.
Of course, in my fanfic, an unintended side-effect of Shane's war of attrition on The Storm was that he wound up going psychotic and paranoid, and wound up turning heel. Obviously, the E won't play it that way, but I think the whole "war of attrition" idea has some merit that the E should consider.
Anyway, that's it from me this week, no new Glossary entries from me. Keep up the writing, you spoony bard!
-=Jay 2K Winger=
(see his full fan fiction right here)
Interesting points, Jay. We’ll get to them right after this last letter…
Hey Meehan!
Great column, dude, I meant to write in sooner but I'm too damn lazy. Anyhow, I wanted to comment on some of the responses you got on the Cena article. Why are people bitching about the long title runs? Aren't these the same fans that get all pissy when a champ only holds the belt for a month or two? I swear just a few years ago everyone was complaining that the good ol' days of long title reigns were gone. Of course we both know that if Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit got to hold the belt for 9 months people would be bitching that they didn't get it for a year.
The fact of the matter is that most of the Cena-haters out there are just trying to be cool. Just like the person who only listens to underground music and blasts anything popular, a lot of the smarky anti-Cena fans just like to think of themselves as better because they're gonna boo who "the man" wants them to cheer and cheer for the technically sound guys like Kurt Angle.
Now look, I love Kurt Angle, he's one of the greatest of all time, but news flash everyone: face Angle sucks. He wasn't so bad when he turned face during the Invasion because that seemed natural and he just stepped up as a leader. But remember when he came back from his neck injury? The E treated it like the fans had this overwhelming, heartwarming support for him like when Triple H came back from his quad injury. Big difference was that Triple H was out for 8 months, Angle was gone barely 3. Up until Angle turned on Eddie before WrestleMania XX his face turn just seemed very forced and unnatural.
I agree that a Cena heel turn will be good down the road, but not when he still has the normal people cheering for him (I refuse to condescendingly refer to them as marks like some in the IWC). I also agree that his title reign has lasted too long, because just like The Rock in the early part of the decade, a character like that is better in the chase. I believe Cena would get much more support chasing the title then holding it for as long as they have. Plus, if I'm wrong about Cena's popularity, it’d be a lot easier to abort the Cena project as a challenger than a long-reigning champion. Sorry for running long, and keep up the great work!
-Andy Clark
Thanks for writing, guys. Good to see that healthy debate still rules the day and readers can agree to disagree on these matters! Also good to see that some fans are dying to see Cena drop the strap while others are still proudly onboard the “Chain Gang.” The points you both make are all valid ones, and I think that it’s fair to say that while the smart fans have undoubtedly soured on the WWE Champ, they’re not the only ones who buy merchandise (in fact, “casual fans” probably buy more merch, when you think about it) – so it’s probably just as fair to say that not everybody has abandoned all hope for a successful long-running Face champion’s title reign (just yet).
All that said, though, I still wouldn’t be surprised if Cena somehow wound up on the losing end at New Year’s Revolution.
Always better TV to have a face challenger giving chase to a heel champion going in to WrestleMania, after all.
And With That, I’m Outta’ Here
That’ll do it for Mee this week. Thanks again for reading, and check back next Tuesday afternoon for some more ‘net-gativity-bashing, a new crop of YourThinks, and the next installment of those glossary entries for this great sport we all know and love so well.
Thanks again for reading, have a merry Christmas (and a happy Hanukkah etc.), and always stay positive.
