Cheap Wrestling For Cheap People 12.22.05: Store Credit
Posted by Ryan Byers on 12.22.2005
This week, we look in to gift returns and women in barbed wire deathmatches. Truly this is the most eclectic column on 411.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. I hope that everybody is enjoying their holiday season, as breaks from school and work are surely beginning for many of our readers at this point. If you're planning on doing any last minute holiday shopping, I strongly suggest that you look back to my last three weeks of columns, which all detail cheap gifts available for the wrestling fan in your life.
This week, however, we've looking beyond Christmas. We're looking at returns.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #25: Store Credit
Yes, everybody is going to get something this Christmas season that they just flat out don't like. I'm sure that all of us have spent time waiting in a return line at some point in our lives. This week, we're looking at how you can best turn the store credit earned from returns in to Cheap Wrestling action.
Unfortunately, fewer and fewer retailers give out straight cash as a result of a return . . . and you're definitely not going to get it if you don't have a receipt. However, oftentimes you can manage to beat them at their own game. Many stores have policies in which they will accept unopened merchandise not actually purchased at the store so long as they stock that item. (Of course, the best bet in getting this to work is swearing up and down that you're certain the copy of The Adventures of Pluto Nash that your wife got you did in fact come from the store to which you're trying to return it.) This allows those of us who got gifts from stores that don't normally stock wrestling merchandise to get credit at other stores that do carry DVDs of our precious grappling game. What are the best stores to head to, you ask?
Wal-Mart: Generally, I can't stand shopping at Wal-Mart. However, this isn't the place to rant about my political views. If you are looking to get wrestling merchandise with store credit, Wally World is actually a damn good place to head. First of all, because they stock everything, it is one of the few places where you can return general merchandise in order to get a credit that you can later spend on a DVD. You can't get a hideous winter jacket and exchange it for a Wrestlemania XX at the electronics store, oh no. In addition to that, Wal-Mart is the home of a big holiday item in the form of TNA Wrestling's PPV anthology box set. Plus, cheaper WWE titles like Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels: Boyhood Dream, and Best of the Intercontinental Title are often available in the store's discount DVD bins for $5 or less.
Suncoast & Sam Goody: I've lumped these two together because, from what I understand, they're owned by the same parent company. The two stores generally have prices that are much higher than those of their competitors. However, they do periodically have good deals on wrestling DVDs that are difficult to find in other brick and mortar stores. 3PW and XPW titles are generally in abundance at Sam Goody, while Suncoast will often carry even more obscure title's like Diamond Entertainment's "Wild Men of Wrestling" and "Wild Women of Wrestling" box sets. I wouldn't waste my money on the ridiculous prices these guys charge for WWE DVDs, but definitely give them a shot of if you're looking for something different.
Best Buy: It's been my experience that Best Buy has the lowest prices you're going to find on wrestling DVDs unless you use an online retailer. Not only that, but they manage to have a pretty decent variety compared to other stores. In addition to the usual WWE fare, it's not unusual to see CZW, TNA, and UPW titles together in a Best Buy location. Additionally, I believe that they are the only retail location where you will find Shane Douglas' Hardcore Homecoming event as well as the companion documentary, Forever Hardcore. There's even usually MMA for those of you who are in to that sort of thing. In short, low prices + wide selection = happiness.
Music for a Song: I don't know how many people have heard of this smaller chain, but they're usually found in outlet malls owned by the Tanger Corporation. As a whole, their prices on wrestling DVDs are equivalent to other stores. However, if you're willing to spend a few minutes looking around, there will be random titles on which you can manage to save a few bucks. For example, the last time I was in one, just about every DVD cost the same as it would at Best Buy. However, when I looked at Jake Roberts: Pick Your Poison and Eddy Guerrero: Cheating Death Stealing Life, both titles were three to four dollars cheaper than they typically are at online retailers like Highspots and Amazon. So, though you might not be able to find a specific title at a discount, you'll usually be able to find something.
And, as is the tradition here at Cheap Wrestling, it's now time for me to review something that I picked up using the week's tip. I picked this up last year because a relatively mistakenly thought that I would be interested in watching the first season of Home Improvement. Sorry, Tim Allen, but you're just not funny.
Title: FMW Yokohama Deathmatch Released By: FMW/TokyoPop Release Year: 2001 Run Time: 120 Minutes Found At: Best Buy Price: FREE (Store credit, baby)
Yes, FMW is back in Cheap Wrestling. My fourth column on 411 featured Japan's favorite indy, the company from which ECW cribbed a lot of its style. TokyoPop, a company that mainly sells anime in the states, purchased the American distribution rights to the company's library, and, a few years ago, they put out a series fo commercial tapes featuring Frontier Martial Arts. Though they came out in 2001, I've since seen a big resurgence in the tapes, as they're once again popping up everywhere after being relegated to eBay for a couple of years.
This particular tape features action from FMW's eighth anniversary show, held on April 29, 1997.
Match Numero Uno: Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Hayato Nanjyo vs. Crypt Keeper & Flying Kid Ichihara (Highlights Only)
Things start off with Nanjyo hitting a flipping tope down on to Ichihara, and then we clip ahead to Crypt Keeper powerbombing Nanjyo so that Flying Kid can moonsault him for the pinfall. This was really just a backdrop for the announcers to bring up the major angle in FMW at the time, which featured a group of wrestlers from the former IWA Japan (under the name "Funk Masters of Wrestling") returning to the company after breaking off to form the IWA a couple of years prior.
Match Numero Dos: Kaori Nakayama, Michiko Omuka, Chikako Shiratori, Mizuki Endoh, & Yoko Ikeada beat Lioness Asuka, Eagle Sawai, Crusher Maedomari, Michiko Nagashima, & Miss Mongol (Highlights Only)
The focus here is on Kaori Nakayama, who would become FMW's top woman after the retirement of Megumi Kudo. Her name is one of only three actually mentioned by the commentators, and she gets pretty much all of the offense shown. Well, that's not quite the case in the beginning, as Miss Mongol chops and sentons Kaori to get a two count. Clipping takes us to a big pier six brawl involving all of the ladies, which culminates with the faces taking turns avalanching/clotheslining Crusher Maedomari in the corner. Another clip job takes us to Nakayama giving Mongol a top rope huricanrana that gives her team the win. There's still not enough to actually rate, but bodies were just all over the place in this one, and I wouldn't mind seeing the match in its entirety sometime down the road.
Match Numero Tres: Jinsei Shinzaki vs. Super Leather (Highlights Only)
The announcers mention the WWF pasts of both men, as Shinzaki was Hakushi, and the masked Super Leather was Corporal Kirschner before he decided it would be a good idea to choke out Vince McMahon. We open on Shinzaki's praying rope-walk and then clip to Leather getting a DDT for a near fall. However, he misses an attempted top rope kneedrop. Jinsei doesn't do much better on the offensive, however, as his attempt at a praying powerbomb gets reversed in to a back body drop. Super Leather finally hits a move, vertical suplexing his opponent...but that damn kneedrop misses again. You'd think he'd learn.
Anyway, that miss is all Jinsei needs to take the upper hand, hitting the praying powerbomb for two and following up quickly with a bodyslam and a missile dropkick. After that, he locks on the Heavenly Lock...which is essentially a camel clutch in which the victims arms are crossed over his own throat...for the submission victory. They gave this one more time than the previous two matches, but it's still not enough to rate. What was shown of the match didn't look too horribly groundbreaking, though, primarily due to Leather.
Match Numero Cuatro: The Headhunters & Hisakatsu Oya vs. Kodo Fuyuki, Jado, & Gedo
Your prerequisite backstory on all of the wrestlers: The Headhunters are a tag team of identical Puerto Rican twins, who each weigh in at over 400 pounds. Aside from a cop of coffee with the WWF in the early 90's, they've mainly been confined to Japan. Gedo and Jado are juniorheavyweights who began in the WAR promotion and are currently tearing it up in New Japan. Gedo briefly toured the US during the Monday Night War era, having a show stealing match against former tag team partner Chris Jericho at Halloween Havoc '97. Oya doesn't appear to have done much outside of FMW. Fuyuki, meanwhile, wound up being the biggest name of the lot. He took over FMW in its later days, serving as the head booker until the company folded. He then lost a battle to cancer in 2003 after briefly running his own promotion.
This is the last of our substantially clipped down matches, and it's also another manifestation of the FMW vs. Funk Masters feud, as the Headhunters and Oya are part of the evil Funk side, while the other three men comprise their own faction within the real FMW. Things start off with Gedo and Jado placing Oya's crotch in Fuyuki's face so that they can powerbomb Hisakatsu from the second rope. Fuyuki then gets more offense, taking Oya down with a lariat and hooking on a submission hold that looks vaguely like a Dragon Sleeper, though I think it has a completely different purpose in kayfabe terms. The identical 400 pound Headhunters break up that hold in stereo, and we clip ahead to the twins hitting a Doomsday Device on Jado before one accidentally missile dropkicks the other while aiming for Gedo. G-money gets a one count off of this, and we then clip ahead to him nailing one of the Headhunters with a plancha while Fuyuki takes the other one down with a series of three lariats. That nets the face team a two count. More clipping takes us to Oya superplexing Gedo, which is the perfect setup for a swandive headbutt by one of the Headhunters. Surprisingly, Gedo kicks out at two. A top rope big fat 400 pound splash on Gedo follows, and his teammates break up the subsequent pinning attempt. Clipping further on in to the match, a Headhunter powerbombs Gedo twice, only managing to get a two count each time. However, a big fat moonsault is enough to finally put away Gedo. The match didn't really do all that much for me, but there's always a big "holy shit" factor the first time people see the Headhunters flying around the ring. So, if you haven't done it yet, this is as good a place as any.
Then we go back to our American announcers, who put over the action we've just seen as well as setting up the next match, which features cult hero Hayabusa going up against Mr. Ganosuke. This was probably the main thrust of the FMW vs. Funk Masters angle, as Ganosuke was part of the Funk group that returned to FMW after deserting the company for a rival promotion. The night of his return, 'Suke confronts legitimate childhood friend Hayabusa and berates him for being stupid enough to have remained with FMW, calling him over to the evil side.
Hayabusa's reaction is a very unique one for wrestling...instead of simply kicking Ganosuke's ass or turning heel and siding with him, his loyalties are torn. Not even a pissed off Masato Tanaka can persuade Hayabusa to give a straight answers. Eventually this boils down to Ganosuke and Oya teaming up against Hayabusa and Ricky Fuji, which ends with Mr. G pinning Fuji and claiming it as a victory over Hayabusa . . . which leads to our singles match. I don't think words alone can describe how excellent this angle really is. It's very unique, and it only gets better with the events that transpire at the end of this bout.
Match Numero Cinco: Hayabusa vs. Mr. Ganosuke (w/ Victor Quinones) in a Hair vs. Mask Match
Ganosuke attacks before the bell, hitting Hayabusa with a lariat that sends him tumbling to the outside. The heel's advantage doesn't last long, however, as Hayabusa manages to kick him from the ring apron, setting up a beautiful somersault tope. The action then goes back up on to the apron, where Ganosuke attempts to suplex his opponent down to the floor, only to have his efforts blocked. He has a backup plan, though, and the masked man finds his throat hot shotted over the top rope. Ganosuke enters the ring and scores with a shoulder block, but Hayabusa is able to quickly bounce back off of the ropes and hit a dropkick, which leads in to a bodyslam and a high legdrop for a two count. Our hero quickly gets an armbar before Ganosuke can lariat him out to the ring apron. A suplex spot is attempted again, this time with Hayabusa as the aggressor . . . and he manages to suplex his opponent down to the floor! Through the magic of editing, several chairs wind up piled on top of Ganosuke in a matter of seconds, and Hayabusa puts his body on the line by moonsault off of the apron and down on to the chair-covered Ganosuke. Needless to say, Hayabusa has the advantage, and he maintains it back inside the ring with a senton.
It's Victor's interference that changes the flow of the match, however, as an attempted trip up from the outside allows Ganosuke to blindside his former friend with a lariat before elbowing the referee. With no official, Quinones enters the ring and holds Hayabusa . . . but we've got a full blown MALFUNCTION AT THE JUNCTION as Ganosuke's lariat is off target, hitting his own manager. Fortunately the referee is a quick healer, because it allows him to catch Hayabusa's northern lights suplex . . . but that only manages a two count. He attempts to follow with a Lionsault (a move that would paralyze him four years down the road), but Ganosuke manages to get his knees up at just the right time. A good followup by Ganosuke sees him hit a gutbuster before Victor hands him a stick. Mr. G breaks said stick over his knee, exposing a pointy edge . . . and he repeatedly jams it in to Hayabusa's midsection. Though some of the shots look heavily worked, the lacerations appearing on H's stomach let us know that at least a few actually connected, whether it was planned for them to or not. Hayabusa briefly rallies with a comeback, but he runs directly in to the stick while coming off of the ropes. Undaunted, he comes off of the ropes again, this time sliding under a stick shot meant for his face and taking Ganosuke down with a spin wheel kick. A fisherman buster lays out Mr. Ganosuke in the corner, putting him in the perfect position for . . . A 450 SPLASH! It looked beautiful, but it only gets a two count.
One of his finishers having failed, Hayabusa tries a second, picking up Ganosuke and dropping him down with the Falcon Arrow. It also can only get two, and Haya decides to go airborn again with a moonsault, only to have Ganosuke cut him off from behind. 'Suke slams him off of the second rope with something that looked akin to a German suplex but really wasn't, and he follows up with a powerbomb leading in to a double KO spot for seemingly no reason. Ganosuke is the first to recover, which only makes sense, and he gets his own version of the Falcon Arrow for a two count! Ganosuke goes back to the well with a powerbomb attempt, but this one is blocked, and Hayabusa gets a huricanrana for two. It's now time for Hayabusa to hit a powerbomb, and this again sets up for one of his flying moves. This time it's a lovely Phoenix Splash, but Ganosuke manages to roll out of the way, and he hits the dazed Hayabusa with a sick looking release German suplex that only manages a near fall. A Northern Lights suplex has the exact same result. Ganosuke attempts a vertical suplex now (or possibly another Falcon Arrow), but Hayabusa slips out and lands on his feet behind his opposition. A lariat from behind follows, and this sets up a very brutal looking Falcon Arrow ('Suke was dropped right on his head) to win the match 13:22, about nine minutes of which was left on this commercial version.
Match Thoughts: I think my write-up here might actually have made the match sound slightly better than it really was. Maybe it was the editing, but the transitions in between the big moves were fairly shoddy. Hayabusa's never been good at that sort of thing from what I can tell, though I generally expect a little bit more out of Ganosuke. The beauty of the highspots can't be denied, though, as all of the high flying stuff was hit with a grace that normally only gymnasts can muster. On top of that, there was a great fusion of wrestling styles, as the hardcore action and flying combined to effortlessly tell a story of two guys who absolutely hate each others guts. **3/4, though that may change if I see a full version.
Post-match, a chair is set up in the center of the ring for Ganosuke to be shaved on, but Hayabusa retrieves the house mic and tells us all that he doesn't want it to happen. Instead, he wants his friend's forgiveness. Hayabusa is absolutely terrific in selling this angle, nearly approaching tears several times. Mr. Ganosuke arises from the chair and offers Hayabusa his hand . . . but, possibly because he forgot to look to the crowd for approval first, H is immediately kicked in the stomach and powerbombed by Ganosuke! Then, in what would probably incite a riot if this angle was shot in Mexico, Mr. G blatantly disregards the match stipulations by unmasking Hayabusa! A bit of a beating with the chair follows . . . and then things turn up a notch.
Victor hands Ganosuke a flask of what is presumably alcohol, which he takes a swig of after dousing Hayabusa with most of the substance. The next toy from Victor is, you guessed it, FIRE! However, before the Falcon can be set ablaze, Jinsei Shinzaki runs in and knocks Ganosuke from the ring. With the scales no longer balanced in his favor, the Funk Master retreats from the ring, promising revenge on both Hayabusa and Shinzaki. This was just an absolutely incredible angle to continue the feud, as it manages to make the eventual rematch between the two seem even more important than the original encounter, despite the fact that one man got a clean pinfall over the other. This whole angle should be required viewing by aspiring bookers.
Match Numero Seis: The Gladiator, Cactus Jack, & Terry Funk (w/ Victor Quinones) vs. Atsushi Onita, WING Kanemura, & Masato Tananka in a Tornado Street Fight
If you didn't catch it earlier, Victor's presence with the heels tells us that this is another branch of the real FMW vs. the Funk Masters rivalry . . . with Terry of course being the lead Funker.
As one would guess, this beings with a big pier six brawl which finally ends with Cactus Jack and WING Kanemura in the ring together, while the other four men brawl on the outside. Believe it or not, Cactus and WING do absolutely nothing noteworthy during their exchange (a punch punch here and a choke choke there), which makes me glad to see Masato Tanaka and Mike "Gladiator" Awesome coming in. A Tanaka shoulderblock sends the Gladiator scurrying out to the floor, and the cameras cut away to a shot of Terry Funk piledriving Onita on to a ringside table before cutting back to the ring quickly to catch Masato nailing Awesome with a tope suicida. With those two now out of the ring, WING and Foley resume their lackluster exchange against each other on the inside with more kicking and choking. Cactus does, however, manage to open up Kanemura's forehead, so I guess they got something accomplished. Then out of nowhere, Tanaka and Awesome are back in the ring, and Mike is attempting to powerbomb his rival over the top rope. Masato's seen that one before, though, so he slips off of Awesome's shoulders and goes for another tope . . . but the Gladiator slingshots in with a shoulderblock that nails Tanaka as he's running the ropes! Tanaka rolls out after that one, and I don't blame him . . . but he gets killed again by the Gladiator's tope con hilo! I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing a man that size do that move. Every one is impressive.
The old men take over the ring now, with Onita getting two DDTs on Funk, each of which gets him a two count. In another one of those odd seconds long cuts, we get a shot of Awesome vertical suplexing Tanaka on the floor before going back to the ring, where Terry has taken to poking Atsushi with his flaming branding iron . . . repeatedly. I mean I give full props to Onita for being willing to take it, but they just spend far too long on this sequence. It moves slowly, lasts forever, and doesn't even really look all too impressive after the first couple of shots. Fortunately, the younger guys decide to spice things up a bit, with Awesome coming off of the top rope and hitting a chairshot on Tanaka before decking him with a lariat to get two. Cactus and Kanemura also stumble in, with Foley toting a barbed wire baseball bat. He gets in one shot before the bat finds its way in to Terry Funk's hands, and he continually grates 'Nita's head and back with it, while we do another quick cutaway to see Awesome powerbombing Tanaka through a table on the outside. Nobody cares about that, though, so let's go back to that bat grating action!
When that finally finishes up, Mike Awesome shows up in the ring, this time towing in WING Kanemura with him, and giving the poor kid one of his brutal sit-out powerbombs. Onita breaks it up at two, so apparently he wasn't bored to death by Funk's offense against him after all. Shit, I shouldn't have reminded him . . . Funk now bats at Atsushi even more, while the Gladiator drags a table in to the ring and breaks a hunk off of it. The remnants are set up in the corner, and Mick Foley decides to earn his paycheck by whipping Masato Tanaka in to them. Awesome then takes his chunk of table and nails Tanaka over the head with it, but Masato manages to block a top rope version of the same move with a dropkick. Meanwhile, Onita has retrieved another piece of the table and uses it as a shield to block Funk's latest bat shot, and the table chunk is then used as a weapon by the FMW founder. This gets two on the man from the Double Cross Ranch. The younger members of team FMW decide it's time to finish things, so they set Cactus Jack up for a double backdrop suplex, but they've got trouble getting him over (come on, he hadn't even gotten fat yet), so Ontia assists them by dropkicking Cactus over in to the move. Regardless, it only gets two.
Atsushi then gets cut down by a Mike Awesome lariat, and Terry Funk has retrieved his branding iron as well as a bottle of alcohol . . . and Onita gets a fireball blown down on to him! You know, I'd go for the cover right there, but the Funk Masters decide that it's not quite enough, and Terry assists Foley in dropping Onita with a stuff piledriver. Imagine my surprise when that only gets two. Jack and Chainsaw Charlie attempt to reprise the move, this time with Cactus leaping off of the top rope and Funk piledriving Onita down on to a stack of chairs. That ALSO only manages a two count, and Foley holds Ontia while Funk grabs his fireball paraphernalia for another shot at that. This time, the alcohol is also doused on Atsushi's head...but the move is cut off by Tanaka, who decks Funk. Onita rallies against Cactus Jack and hits a DDT, which gets him another near fall.
On the other side of the ring, Mike Awesome German suplexes Tanaka out of his boots, but Masato lands mostly on his shins (he flipped in midair), so he's able to come back relatively quickly and bash the Gladiator with a forearm and a powerbomb to get a two count. With Awesome dispatched, Tanaka goes over to take care of Cactus Jack, planting the King of the Deathmatch with a tornado DDT, and Kanemura appears to help out his teammate. They simultaneously hit Foley with spinning forearms and then channel the Harris Twins by hitting an H-Bomb. That devastating move alone should've been enough for three, but WING heads to the top and comes off with a guillotine legdrop on to Jack. Awesome lariats Kanemura out of the ring after that move, and he gets Tanaka with another sit-out powerbomb . . . and they do the exact same bit where Onita saves his protege. Tanaka's still vulnerable, however, and Cactus Jack hits him with the Kobashi DDT for another two count. Then, as if poor Masato hadn't taken enough punishment, Awesome flies off of the top rope with a frog splash on to him, while Terry Funk throws a table in to the ring. Of course, Mike Awesome can't pass up that temptation, so Masato falls victim to . . . THE TOP ROPE AWESOMEBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Both men were standing on the top rope prior to the execution of the move, which just takes worlds of balance.
Onita saves Tanaka from a certain pinfall, using a chair one Awesome to break the cover. He then cradles Terry Funk for a two count . . . and we clip ahead to Funk missing a moonsault down on to one of the FMW boys and hitting his own teammates instead. (Well, as much as a Terry Funk moonsault ever hits anything.) Back in the ring, Awesome is the victim of Masato Tanaka's forearm, which this time gets a two count. The Gladiator is still down, however, and WING Kanemura comes crashing down on him with a top rope chair drop for the three count! This ran 20:20.
Match Thoughts: Eh. Even though they were one of the company's hallmarks, I never got in to the FMW six man street fights that much. In this particular case, the Funk/Ontia brawling really bogged the match down in my eyes, though I understand why it was done given the audience that they had for the match. It just seemed as though there was far too much going on at once here, and they would choose to focus on the wrong parts of the fight (e.g., the older, slower guys over the young guys). Tanaka and Awesome were fairly impressive, though, and they saved this match from being pushed down lower than *1/4.
After the package, it's back to the studio, where our hosts put over the six man as well as Megumi Kudo, who is the subject of our next video package. It briefly chronicles Kudo's rise to the top of FMW's women's division as "the queen of the deathmatch," fighting in barbed wire, explosives, and the ilk. However, Megumi has decided that it's time to hang up the boots. She announces the date of her retirement long in advance, giving the evil Shark Tsuchyia plenty of time to snatch away Kudo's FMW Unified Women's Title. Now it's time for Kudo's last match, and the Shark stands on the opposite side of the ring with the Unified Title on the line.
Match Numero Siete: Megumi Kudo vs. Shark Tsuchyia (c) for the FMW Unified Women's Title in a No Rope Electrified, Explosive Barbed Wire Match
Okay, here's the basic ring setup: The ropes are gone, and two sides have barbed wire strung up between the ringposts. There's nothing on the other two sides of the ring, but barbed wire has been strewn about on the floor. All of the wire in the match is rigged with explosives and is supposedly electrified, though there's really no indication of that at ringside or through the competitors' selling.
The two lock up to start, and the much larger Shark shoves Kudo off. A second lockup follows, and they tease somebody being shoved in to the wire. This teasing goes on for a nice little chunk of time, though it's the good "building drama" sort of teasing as opposed to the bad "really boring" teasing. They eventually move from teasing a shove in to the wire to teasing a shove off of the ring apron, and Kudo gets in some kicks to bring Tsuchyia back in to the center of the ring. Once there, Shark Irish whips Kudo towards the barbed wire, but Megumi shows her smarts when she simply just stops running. Tsuchyia whips her opponent towards the wire a second time, but Kudo ducks down in to almost a baseball slide position to avoid getting blown to smithereens. After more teasing, Shark shoves Kudo off of her, only to be caught with a dropkick. With the champion down, Megumi attempts a baseball slide kick to send Tsuchyia off of the ring apron and down to the floor, but the big woman hangs on and comes back to choke down Kudo. She follows with a kick that literally puts Megumi Kudo INCHES from the explosive barbed wire . . .
AND THEN SHARK WHIPS HER IN! Kudo's white ring attire is turned gray as the explosives go off, and she immediately collapses down to the mat. Shark proceeds to maul her, hammering in forearms to the back and standing on the fan favorite's stomach just for kicks. Then, in an ode to big, lazy wrestlers throughout the world, Tsuchyia hits a sidewalk slam for the two count. The Shark takes too much time in getting back on the offensive, though, and Kudo gets a dragon screw leg whip. She then turns a missed lariat in to a side headlock and flips out of Tsuchyia's attempt at turning the hold in to a belly to back suplex. Kudo clamps on a waistlock, which Shark promptly reverses . . . AND SHE SENDS KUDO IN TO THE BARBED WIRE AGAIN! Rather than going for the cover, however, Tsuchyia gets herself a sickle and carves in to Kudo's head with it. In a particularly nasty looking spot, Shark sits on Megumi's back and wraps the curve of the sickle around her forehead, pulling back as though it were a camel clutch. Tsuchyia then pulls off the kid gloves and attempts to stab Kudo, but, much like the Berzerker and the Undertaker of years gone by, the babyface rolls out of the way, and the heel's weapon buries itself in to the mat.
Megumi Kudo is then able to get to her feet, and a kick knocks the sickle out of Shark's hand. Kudo gets in a forearm and retrieves the weapon, but she gets kicked in the gut before her attempt to stab Tsuchyia can land. This leads to a bit more cutting by the Shark, but she quickly changes modes and begins to choke the future retiree with the chain that's connected to the end of the sickle. She even slaps a chinlock on top of the chain for no real reason. The chinlock is dropped so that Tsuchyia can fix her top, and she then attempts to use the chain to whip Kudo off of the ring apron, but Megumi drops down to the mat and reverses . . . SHARK GOES DOWN TO THE FLOOR AND IN TO THE EXPLOSIVE WIRE! Tsuchyia is barely able to get back up to her feet, and Kudo pulls her right back in to the ring when she does. This begins the actual wrestling sequence of the match, as Megumi scores with a snap DDT for a two count. Her attempt at a Tiger Driver is turned in to a back body drop, but Tsuchyia's attempt at a spinning bitch slap is ducked, and Kudo takes her over in to a Northern Lights suplex for two! The Shark then attempts a powerbomb, only to have it turned in to a sunset flip by Megumi. That gets two, and do you want more counters? Then you got 'em. The Shark attempts to Irish whip Kudo in to the barbed wire ropes one more time, but Megumi reverses, locks her arms, and hits that Tiger Driver! It only gets two, however. A forearm also fails to get three.
With that, Megumi sets up for the Kudo Driver (The Vertebreaker, which she actually gets credit for inventing), but Tsuchyia shoves her off. Kudo then goes for a huricanrana, but Shark is able to hold her up in the air and then drop her down off of the ring apron and down in to the barbed wire floor! Needless to say, Kudo does make it back in, but she's met by a series of three belly to back suplexes, but the entire series can only get a two count. Several chairs are then thrown in to the ring by some invisible person (I'd assume Quinones), and Shark piledrives the challenger down on them to get another two count. The phantom Tsuchyia fan isn't out of goodies yet, though, as we get another bottle of alcohol and a good, old fashioned zippo lighter. Is a fireball coming? Yes, the fireball engulfs Kudo . . . and the thing had shades of blue in it. If you know anything about fire, that's not good. The referee jumps on top of Kudo to smother the fire, and it looks like part of her ring gear could've still legitimately been smoldering after that shot. If not, I've got to say good job by the referee in putting the fire shot over.
The Shark covers off of the fireball, with her shin placed nicely on Kudo's throat, but it only gets two. A powerbomb gets two as well, and a lariat knocks Megumi even closer to the wire than that scary kick early in the match. Shark then charges in . . . but Kudo grabs hold of her, and BOTH ladies go careening back in to the explosive barbed wire! Kudo falls on top of her and gets the win in her last match and the double titles! It only took 21:46.
Match Thoughts: I've heard rather negative things about Tsuchyia as a worker, but it was more or less completely masked here. The early teasing of the barbed wire shots built up the ones that eventually did happen well, and the girls worked well in an environment in which they were limited by a lack of ropes. The ending was also just about the only logical way that Kudo could have won after absorbing all the punishment that she did, and I'm glad that they went with it even though it wasn't exactly the most glorious manner in which to end a career. (Unless you look closely, it looks like an absolute fluke win.) Aside from Shark's occasional laziness, my only major complaint about the match is that it had too many spots that were similar to or exactly the same as major spots in other points on the card. Overall, it evens out to a ***3/4.
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 7 Highest Star Rating: ***3/4 Lowest Star Rating: *1/4 Average Star Rating (ratable matches only): **3/4
For individuals not familiar with FMW, this event will have a great deal of novelty value. You get to see what exactly Mick Foley was doing in Japan, a hardcore match from a genre that really made ECW what it was, and a female deathmatch, which is a definite oddity in the states. However, for more seasoned wrestling fans, there is much more than just novelty present. As I stated previously, the Hayabusa/Ganosuke angle is a thing of beauty, and I'd be amazed if there were any long-time wrestling fans out there who didn't love it. (Well, it did get silly in its later stages, but in the early going, it was excellent.) Not only that, but the match used to further the angle shown here was solid. On top of that, you get what is perhaps my favorite deathmatch of all time, perhaps one of the best integrations of actual wrestling psychology in to that genre. FMW tapes aren't just a good way to see violent, athletic wrestling. They're perhaps one of the best ways to view wrestling as a legitimate form of theater.
With the exception of Ring of Honor, I have to give this the highest recommendation of any tape I've reviewed on 411 thusfar.
