wrestling / Columns

The Ten Count 10.18.13: The Top 10 Hell in a Cell Matches

October 18, 2013 | Posted by Evan Daniels

Welcome back to the Ten Count. As always, thank you for reading last week’s column. And here we go…

OF COURSE I MISSED A FEW THINGS
And we start with a little Iron Man:

Yes, yes I hear all of you on this one. It was on my list, should have been top 10. I get it, let’s move on.

Who says I don’t talk about ROH:

Somebody get me some streamers.

This is a song that I love from the original ECW:

As an aside, Beulah in 1995-1998 might have been the hottest woman in the history of wrestling.

YOUR THOUGHTS (IF WE WANT TO CALL THEM THAT)
Here Are Some Other Lists:

“Superstar” Billy Graham — Jesus Christ, Superstar — Andrew Lloyd Webber
Barry Windham — LaGrange — ZZTop (WCW)
“Flyin'” Brian Pillman — Rocket — Def Leppard (WCW)
The Steiner Brothers — Welcome to the Jungle — Guns ‘n Roses (WCW)
Tommy Dreamer — Man in the Box — Alice in Chains
Raven — Come Out and Play — The Offspring
The Briscoe Brothers — Gimme Back My Bullets — Lynyrd Skynyrd
Samoa Joe — Mama Said Knock You Out — LL Cool J
Balls Mahoney — Big Balls — ACDC
“Wildfire” Tommy Rich — All My Rowdy Friends — Hank Williams, Jr. (WCW)

MY THOUGHT: The Steiners coming out to “Welcome to the Jungle” was badass.

Jadakiss – The Champ is Here (Samoa Joe in ROH)
Papa Roach – Last Resort (Sick Nick Mondo in CZW)
Dr Dre & Ice Cube – Natural Born Killaz (New Jack/The Gangtas in ECW)
AC/DC – Highway to Hell (The Dudley Clan in ECW)
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Gimme Back My Bullets (The Briscoes in ROH)
Ini Kamoze – Here Comes The Hotstepper (Public Enemy in ECW)
And at the moment here in the UK there’s a couple of great ones:
Madonna – Like a Prayer (Used primarily in ICW – IT’S YOUR SEL!!!)
Prodigy – Diesel Power (Used by The London Riots)

MY THOUGHT: I enjoyed that I learned a little about UK theme music. Also, Killaz was #11 on my initial list. I loved how they played it the entire match since….well, New Jack didn’t quite wrestle.

Final Countdown–Bryan Danielson: This theme was perfect for the ROH crowd, as it had the energy, and a great buildup to the fans cheering for the chorus–especially since most of them probably don’t know any other lyrics.
Road Warriors–Iron Man: I can’t think of a theme that was more perfect for a tag team than this one.
Miseria Cantare (The Beginning)–CM Punk: This AFI song served as Punk’s main theme for most of his ROH career, and it is an awesome theme. It had a great thumping rhythm that could really get the fans involved.
Disposable Teens–Christopher Daniels: This was a perfect theme for him in ROH.
Voodoo Chile–Hollywood Hogan: This song was a great FUCK YOU to the Hogan image, as it was everything the Real American was not–full of passion and soul.
Strut–Doom/Woman: This was a very cool Bob Seger song used briefly by the Simmons/Reed team managed by Woman, and the lyrics fit the character of Woman to a T.
El Phantasmo and the Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama–Lance Storm: Although I’m not sure Lance Storm was the correct wrestler for this theme, the riff was simply amazing.
Perfect Strangers–Shane Douglas: This theme was so fitting for Douglas’ character that WCW essentially borrowed (stole) the main riff and created their own version of the song for Douglas’ 1999-2001 run.
MY THOUGHT: I went back and listened to Strut for Doom and geez it was great. Also, Perfect Strangers was pretty, pretty good.

Kerry Von Erich: Rush’s Tom Sawyer
Kevin Von Erich: Nugent’s Stranglehold
David Von Erich: ZZ Top’s La Grange
Missing Link: Quiet Riot’s Bang Your Head
Just about every UWF babyface: Springsteen’s Born in the USA
Fantastics: ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man
JYD: Queen’s Another one Bites the Dust.

MY THOUGHT: I lol’ed at the just about every UWF babyface thing.

Someone Is Smart: I almost get the feeling that he leaves out that one ‘obvious’ omission just to correct himself at the start of the next column (Voodoo Child in this case, which I would agree deserves a spot in the Top 10).

However, I will say that your top ten lists are the highlight of this site for me right now, especially since Massive Q left Ask411, probably the biggest letdown in professional wrestling since the Fingerpoke of Doom

MY THOUGHT: And we have a winner! You are exactly right. I do that to fill space the following week. Also, I appreciate that you think my columns are a highlight. I do all of this for all of you.

Yes, I Missed Voodoo Child and Lesbians: As many have already pointed out, Voodoo Child was phenomenal and really needs to be on the list.

The other one that I thought was the perfect entrance and song was Victoria – All the things she said by TATU

MY THOUGHT: Do you realize that was like 10 years ago? Victoria was/is a great wrestler and deserves another chance in WWE if she wants it. Also, check on the TATU video. You can thank me after you are done watching it.

If I May, a Moment to Reflect on Rabbit Ears in College: The first time I EVER caught a glimpse of ECW was coming home late one night with my parents from sending my sister off to college. At that point I was 10 and I had been digging through her old rap tapes soaking in all the curse filled rap I could so that song was already one that stuck out. I turned on the television and flipped through to WPXN-TV 31 only to see New Jack and Kronus defeat the Dudleys to win the tag belts and close out the show. Everyone was a bloody mess, weapons were spewed everywhere, New Jack did a balcony dive and Natural Born Killaz was blaring the whole time…. and that was the moment I became a wrestling fan again.

MY THOUGHT: When I was at Rutgers University as an undergrad from 1996-2000 there was no cable on campus. We barely had internet, but my roommate was the “Ethernet guy” for the university so we had fast internet. Anyways, I could only watch wrestling on WPXN-31 using rabbit ears. It sucked….we also walked uphill both ways to the bar, errrr, I mean class.

ERRORS, CORRECTIONS, AND CLOSE CALLS
There Were 2 World Champions in Nexus: Who is the 2nd member of Nexus to go on to become World Heavyweight Champion? Daniel Bryan obviously, but who else? CM Punk was heavyweight champion before he was in Nexus (and even then, he technically wasn’t in Nexus, it was the New Nexus by that point).

CORRECTION: Okay, I thought Wade Barrett was a world champion. I’m a moron, let’s move on.

What Exactly Is a Cult of Personality? You do realize that “Cult of Personality” is essentially insulting his fans by calling them mindless sheep, don’t you?

CORRECTION: So you’re saying it is not a positive. Okay, got it.

NOW SOMETHING NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT, MY FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAMS!
On to Week 6 of fantasy football and yet another 1-2 week for my 3 teams. I am now 2-4, 2-4, and 4-2. The biggest problems I have are injuries as my teams are starting bench guys instead of stars. I don’t think I am making the playoffs in at least one of those 2-4 team leagues. Just makes for a depressing Sunday/Monday as you are watching your teams lose on Yahoo Fantasy. It might be close to selling time in my keeper league but it’s so hard to admit that. The 1st step is acknowledging the problem that you are a horrible fantasy owner. I’m getting there, I promise.

ALSO, HOW ABOUT THOSE CLEVELAND BROWNS?
Tough week for my Browns are they lost to the Lions. They had a wonderful 1st half and then just got blown out in the 2nd. And then, there was this:

+1MM internet points to the person adding the Benny Hill theme to that interception. Weeden is just not a consistently good QB, sure he has his great moments but there are some terrible ones as well.

Next week, we play the Packers in Green Bay. That’s going to be rough, really rough. I think they will be 3-4 at the end of that game. It is still better than I thought we would be after the Richardson trade so there is that.

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Here are the Ground Rules
The match had to take place inside the “Hell in a Cell”. Pretty easy, right?

Without any further ado, here is the Top 10 Hell in a Cell Matches!

AND NOW * Top 10 Hell in a Cell Matches *

#10. {HIAC 9 – The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar, WWE Championship Match}


Background: Brock Lesnar beat The Rock at SummerSlam 2002 to win the WWE Undisputed Championship and became the youngest WWE Champion in history. The Undertaker was the main man on SmackDown so naturally their paths would cross. The previous month, they fought to a double DQ so there needed to be a winner. To make the match even more personal Heyman accused Taker of adultery so Sara got involved as well. The hatred was there so this match was going to be brutal, and believe me it was.

Why This Match is On the List: I believe that this was the match that made Brock Lesnar. There was a LOT of blood from all 3 men with the most being from Taker. As someone once said, Taker was off the “Muta” scale with that bladejob. I admire the tightness of the work and brutality of the match. Also, whether we knew it or not this match looked a lot like a MMA match and watching it now makes me enjoy it more.

#9. {HIAC 14 – D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and The Big Show, Handicap Match}


Background: Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon had been feuding for close to a year by the time Unforgiven 2006 rolled around. DX beat Vince and Shane at SummerSlam after a whole boatload of interference from virtually everyone on the roster. As the “final punishment” for DX, they would be inside “Hell in a Cell” with the Big Show and the McMahons. This was also the 1st time the new higher cell was used for some extra-added effect.

Why This Match is On the List: This is probably the most fun Hell in a Cell match we have seen. There is always 1 thing you can say about the McMahons, they know how to take an ass whipping. They know that is their role and when it is time for that to happen, it happens. Shane getting an elbow drop on a chair around his neck, Vince getting his head shoved up Big Show’s ass, and finally getting a sledgehammer broken over his back. As I said, they know how to take that beating. As an aside, Unforgiven 2006 was a great PPV and this was a big part of it.

#8. {HIAC 12 – Triple H vs. Batista, World Heavyweight Championship Match}


Background: Batista and Triple H were teammates in Evolution for almost 2 years. The issue started at New Year’s Revolution when Triple H didn’t save Batista from losing a fall to Randy Orton. Batista went on to win the Royal Rumble, pick Triple H to face at WrestleMania 21, and defeat him. Batista retained his title at Backlash but Triple H didn’t give up his quest for the title. The Hell in a Cell was the only way to end this blood feud.

Why This Match is On the List: 3 words, Barbed Wire Chair. Usually when 2 friends are in a match like this they just let it all fly. These 2 guys beat the holy hell out of each other in the blow off to their program. I would go as far to say that this was the best match Batista was ever a part of. It was just an enjoyable match that probably isn’t on many of your lists but this is my column so it’s on my list.

#7. {HIAC 3 – Mankind vs. The Undertaker }


Background: Mankind and The Undertaker’s feud started 2 year before this match happened. They had been fighting on and off since 1996. Finally in May, 1998 Mick Foley was taking on the new WWE Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin with Vince McMahon as the special guest referee. The Undertaker decided to be the special enforcer to make sure Vince didn’t screw SCSA out of the WWE title. Foley took offense to this and Vince wanted to make both men pay for not getting the title off Austin. The match was on and it went on to become one of the most famous/infamous matches in the history of the business.

Why This Match is On the List: Okay, there really isn’t much to say about this match that hasn’t already been said so I am not going to try. I will say why it is not higher on the list. The match itself was not all that great since Foley was just trying to get through it. The high spots and JR going nuts makes this match so much better than it should be. It was also one of the few matches that I made sure everybody watched afterwards since it was just so amazing what Foley did to himself on purpose.

#6. {HIAC 8 – Triple H vs. Chris Jericho}


Background: Chris Jericho lost the WWE Undisputed Championship at WrestleMania 18 to Triple H in a match that was not the highlight of the event. As someone who was in attendance that day in Toronto, the crowd was not into that match at all. Y2J had also aligned himself with Stephanie McMahon in her battles with Triple H. They lost a handicap match to Triple H in which the person who lost the fall had to leave WWE (Stephanie lost and returned 2 months later). Triple H lost the WWE Championship to Hulk Hogan the previous month so there were no titles on the line. Both men wanted to take the other out and it was decided that this was the best way to do it.

Why This Match is On the List: It isn’t often you see a referee get busted open in a match. I also think it was the 1st match that used barbed match that didn’t involve Mick Foley. I think I have said this before but the brutality in this match was just awesome to watch. The barbed wire getting stuck in Jericho’s head was especially gruesome followed by the Pedigree on top of the cage. This was a fitting way to end their feud so they could both go on to other things in 2002.

#5. {HIAC 25 – Triple H vs. The Undertaker }

Background: At WrestleMania 27, Triple H attempted to end the streak for the 2nd time and came up just short. The following year, even though Taker won the match he was upset that he had to leave the arena on a stretcher. Taker felt like he lost the match and wanted to not only beat Triple H but also walk out on his own power. Triple H finally gave in and the match was made with 2 special surprises. Shawn Michaels would be the special guest referee and Jim Ross would be at the announce table.

Why This Match is On the List: The false finishes, the emotion, and Shawn Michaels. Jim Ross was on the call at the request of wrestlers. I believe that this is the best WWE-PG Hell in a Cell match we have seen. While it might not have been “The End of an Era” (whatever that meant), it stands the test of time and put the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker/Triple H 4 year WrestleMania odyssey to an end in a grand matter.

#4. {HIAC 11 – Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels }


Background: First thing first, on my Triple H list this match was not included and that was fault. Hopefully, this will make up for it. Shawn came back to WWE in 2002 and Triple H turned on his best friend almost right away. They fought numerous times over those 2 years until they got to this match in 2004. Triple H had lost the WHC to Chris Benoit so he put all his attention on finally ending his feud with Shawn Michaels.

Why This Match is On the List: Almost any match with Triple H facing Shawn Michaels is going to be a great match. I think that this was their last major 1-on-1 match with each other. I believe they had that knowledge and went all out to make each other look as good as they possibly could. This was the longest HIAC match at almost 50 minutes of non-stop action. I am not sure that Triple H should have won the match but it was just an awesome “fight” between 2 guys who wanted to leave it out there.

#3. {HIAC 7 – Kurt Angle vs. The Rock vs. Triple H vs. Rikishi vs. Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker, WWE Championship Match}


Background: 2 months earlier, Kurt Angle won the WWE Championship from The Rock and was barely surviving as the champion. Meanwhile, Steve Austin had just returned to the WWE from his neck surgery. It was discovered that Rikishi ran over Steve Austin with Triple H’s help and influence. Mick Foley decided that Kurt needed to spend some time inside Hell in a Cell and brought all of the feuds in WWE together in one match. Oh yeah, Vince McMahon was not a fan of all “his” superstars being in that match.

Why This Match is On the List: Sometimes matches with 6 people can be a little bit of a train wreck but this match definitely was not that. The highlight of the match was Rikishi getting thrown off the top of the cell into a flatbed truck. I know that it was a pretty soft landing it was a great visual. Virtually everyone bleed, virtually everyone hit their signature spots, and in Kurt Angle fashion he weaseled his way to the win.

#2. {HIAC 6 – Triple H vs. Cactus Jack, WWE Championship vs. Career of Cactus Jack}


Background: At the Royal Rumble, Triple H defeated Cactus Jack in a Street Fight. Triple H thought that was the end of this feud until Cactus offered something so big that Triple H couldn’t say no. Cactus Jack put up his career (in 2000, yeah, those retirements last) but wanted to name the type of match. He selected Hell in a Cell.

Why This Match is On the List: There was a ton of emotion as people in the crowd truly believed that this was possibly Foley’s last match. The story of Cactus trying to get out of the cell so he can get to the top was a nice storyline. Before the final ascension to the top, a barbed wire bat was introduced until finally at the top Cactus fell through the cage and a pedigree later his career was over (for a month).

#1. {HIAC 1 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, #1 Contenders Match for WWE Championship}


Background: At SummerSlam 1997, Bret Hart defeated The Undertaker for the WWE title with Shawn Michaels as the special guest referee. The finish was Shawn hitting Taker with a steel chair and counting to 3. Over the next 2 months, DX was formed with Triple H, Chyna, and Rick Rude. Shawn won the European Championship from the Bulldog. Also, Shawn and Taker met in a pretty good match at Ground Zero that ended as a ton of people ran in and caused an inconclusive ending. To make sure there was no outside interference the “Hell in a Cell” was created.

Why This Match is On the List: Usually when you are the 1st to do something you get the chance to do things that were never done before. It was the 1st time in WWE someone was able to run around in a cage. The 1st in WWE time a match could move to the top of a cage. This was also the debut of Kane which started a feud that was off and on with Taker for over a decade. The match itself was set up perfectly and had a level of brutality that was not seen in WWE in a long, long time if ever. My “fondest” memory is the “receipt” that Taker gave Shawn from that chair shot at SummerSlam. The reason I say “fondest” is because it is a clean, hard chair shot to Shawn’s head while knowing what we know now about concussions and head injuries. The story, the action, and the ending are the reasons why this match is the greatest “Hell in a Cell” match in history.

So there you have it, the Top 10 Hell in a Cell Matches! What is your opinion?

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Next week, we will go off the beaten path a little. There has been a good amount of talk about women’s wrestling in WWE trying to make a comeback. With that in mind, I will be taking a look at the Top 10 Women’s Matches of All Time. I know there will be issues with the list since I don’t know about Japanese wrestling as much as I should but I’ll be giving it a try (the comments will be fun).

Until then, remember it’s all entertainment and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. And I’m out.

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Evan Daniels

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