The Tuesday Communique 10.22.13: PPV, PPV, PPV

The Wrestling News Experience with Stephen Randle
The Wrestling 5&1: Kaitlyn vs. Brie Bella with Tony Acero
The Professional 3: Gimmicky Championships & Stipulations with Jon Harder
Smart Marks: Freeze Tag with Dino Zucconi
The Ten Count: Top 10 Hell in a Cell Matches with Evan Daniels
The Heel Report: Small, Shriveled & Slightly To The Left with James Wright

WWE Monday Night RAW from Memphis, TN || TV Review

The Authority Runs Down the PPV Card!
– Damn, Brad Maddox sold the shit out of that punch on SmackDown. That was beautiful.
– Big Show live via satellite? Who authorized that?
– Why is Stephanie yelling at Mark Yeaton? He’s just the poor timekeeper!
– Show is killing it with this promo. Fucking KILLING IT.
– He’s gone! I hope he figures out a way to cut back into the feed.
– Triple H announces Ambrose, but Bryan comes out first instead. Ambrose v. Bryan to start the show!

Non-Title: Dean Ambrose v. Daniel Bryan
– Bryan is working the hell out of Ambrose’s arm INDY STYLE~!
– They tried some sort of weird reversal thing but it didn’t pan out. Botchamania?
– Bryan misses the knee off the apron! Clothesline! Commercial!
– Heel wear-down offense from Ambrose leads to the Mexican surfboard from Bryan!
– Hey you can’t rake the eyes! He had a detached retina once!
– Butterfly superplex off the top from Ambrose. Nice.
– I love that Bryan has put the Frankensteiner into his regular moveset.
– Suicide dive! Missile dropkick! Ambrose schoolboys him off the kicks! YES LOCK!
– Really good match. That’s how you start a wrestling show, ladies and gents.

CM Punk 40 Minutes In!
– I’m beginning to fear that the rest of the show is going to be Santino, Khali and Los Matadores.
– Three men enter, one man leaves! Three men enter, one man leaves! Three men enter, ONE MAN LEAVES!
– Essentially.

HBK meets with Triple H backstage and reminds him that Michaels and Triple H weren’t supposed to be stars either. Triple H: “We don’t run a wheat grass company.”

Santino Marella v. Heath Slater
– See? I told you. Here’s Santino, Khali and Hornswoggle, with the commentators laughing their heads off.
– Hey they’re dressed like Elvis LOL
– This match is still on? I’m gonna have some waffles.
– The kip-up into the Cobra was pretty sweet though.

Randy Orton v. Dolph Ziggler
– Now this is the way you start off hour number two!
– I hope they throw Ziggler a bone again some time soon.
– Ziggler blocks the DDT off the apron! He beats down Orton! He slips on a banana peel!
– Oh, Orton pulled him in the ring post. Missed that with the first camera angle.
– Shit, this crowd is rowdy for this match!
– Ziggler blocks the DDT again! Fameasser! Nice.
– HOLY SHIT THAT IS NOT how you throw a suplex, Randy! Good lord.
– DDT! RKO set up! Dropkick blocks the RKO! Crowd bites on the finish!
– Zig Zag blocked! RKO! Sweet finish!
– Darn good back-and-forth match.

AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka v. The Bella Twins
– I hope the referee foils Twin Magic by making the universal “big tits” hand gesture.
– AJ is so far out of the league of the rest of these girls it’s ridiculous. Brie has been working her ass of though.
– Nice missile dropkick from Brie!
– Roll-through half crab! LANCE STORM STYLE!
– Knee to Tamina! X-Factor! Good finish.
– Pretty good match actually, but Tamina kinda stinks.

#1 Contenders Match tonight for the tag titles. Weren’t the Usos already #1 Contenders? Didn’t they complain about that on THE WWE APP last week? Now they have to beat The Shield to get a shot? That shit ain’t fair.

Meanwhile, Paul Heyman goes batshit but is apparently fully in control. This promo was AWESOME. Big E versus Axel? Curtis doesn’t stand a chance.

Luke Harper & Eric Rowan v. Kofi Kingston & The Miz
– Cole says that Bray Wyatt has “for some reason” targeted the Miz, then 20 seconds later explains the reason. Idiot.
– HYOOOGE boot from Harper!
– Miz looks to make the tag but runs into the MICHINOKU DRIVER from Harper!
– Kofi’s in! He’s everywhere! Trouble In Paradise to Rowan! Discus lariat from Harper! Holy shit!
– Pretty good match, fantastic closing sequence.
– Wyatt cuts a good and creepy promo, but it’s way too cryptic to mean anything unless Miz joins the family.
– Which could work, I guess.

Non-Title: Curtis Axel v. Big E Langston
– Match never starts as Ryback interferes and it’s a 2-on-1 beatdown.
– Somebody get Teddy Long out here to make a tag team match!
– Maybe not! Big E fights back! Heyman with the Kendo stick! No effect!
– CM Punk is here! Vickie is here! TAG TEAM MATCH, PLAYA!

CM Punk & Big E Langston v. Ryback & Curtis Axel
– Punk takes the heat segment, including a really crappy splash from Ryback.
– CM Punk has been in 5 Hell in a Cell matches? Jesus.
– Big E is in! He’s a destructive monster! THAT’S HOW YOU DO A STANDING SPLASH!
– Big Ending! We’re getting a new IC Champ on Sunday, damn it!
– Reports say Ryback v. Langston is an upcoming feud. They could do worse than that.

The Real Americans v. Tons of Funk
– Swagger and Cesaro have an awesome entrance.
– Nice monkey flip from Tensai. Nice dropkick from Cesaro!
– King makes a “Jos-A and Jos-B” joke. Wow. Good lord just talk about the match.
– Colter, referring to Obamacare signup online: “You can download every movie in the world before you’ll get a hold of them.” Good line!
– Cesaro swing to Brodus Clay! Swagger makes him tap. Okay match.

Tag Title #1 Contendership: The Usos v. The Shield
– Goldust and Cody are out for commentary. Not a bad combined theme!
– Big dive from an Uso early on in the match!
– Rollins ducks the crossbody and Uso crashes into the ropes.
– JBL and Cody are hilarious on commentary, but it’s not taking away from the match.
– Cody says he and Goldust are a better tag team than the Brisco Brothers. This commentary is awesome.
– Ugly DDT sell from Reigns, but it was pretty cool anyway.
– Jimmy gets the hot tag! Bodies are everywhere! He cleans house! Reigns kills him with a clothesline!
– Pop-up Samoan drop from Jey! Reigns misses a corner charge! Superkick! Top rope splash meets knees!
– Cody attacks Ambrose! Everybody’s involved! It’s a Pier Six in Memphis!
– They’re brawling everywhere! SHIT this is great!
– 3-way match for the Tag Titles on Sunday I would surmise.
– There it is! They announced it during the commercial ON THE APP!

Main Event Contract Signing!
– Orton says Bryan’s not a star.
– Bryan says Orton’s full of shit.
– Triple H says Bryan’s not a star.
– Bryan tells him to prove it in the ring.
– HBK thinks Triple H is a corporate douche.
– Big Show drives a truck into the building!
– Bryan takes out Orton!
– Well that was something else.

Overall RAW Thoughts: Damn, that was a really entertaining show. 8 matches and all of them were good including a couple of fantastic TV matches with Bryan/Ambrose, Orton/Ziggler and Shield/Usos. The other matches were good angle advancement and short, solid contests. Good build for the PPV all around as well. One of the better episodes on RAW in a recent history that has had a bunch of good ones. Now we head forward toward Survivor Series!

– Bray Wyatt has reportedly been cleared to wrestle, which means we get to see him take on The Miz this Sunday! Actually it could be a good story if they let Miz rebut with his side and they battled on the mic.

– Speaking of people healing, Rey Mysterio worked a match in Mexico last week and is cleared to go again. I wonder how long he’ll be around this time. Please, for his sake, let him have one last run that culminates at WrestleMania and a nice sendoff, then maybe the HoF in 2015.

– Sunny announced that her cervical cancer has returned, but of course she announced it on Twitter and has recently been caught lying, so people don’t believe her. Naturally she has lashed out, because the internet is the only chance she has left at being relevant (kinda). Can you blame people for not believing her? Cancer’s no laughing matter and most of my family are either survivors or have died from it (and I know I’m going to get it), but I wouldn’t put it past Sunny to make it up. I don’t think she’s lying this time, and I wish her a full recovery, but she can’t be surprised to get the reaction she did.

– About 6 people attended Bound For Glory, according to photos and live reports. I’ve only seen the Ultimate X (good, but too short and anti-climactic ending) and the closing 5 or so minutes of the main event, but it seems like it was an okay show. I’ll try to check it out this week. They should make the 5 guys in that Ultimate X match the focus of the X Division. Might only draw another 2 or 3 fans, but the matches will rule.

– According to Konnan (grain of salt prepared), CM Punk is dating AJ Lee and hs become a conceited asshole. I thought everybody already said Punk was a conceited asshole. Seems like Konnan is reading the dirtsheets and then coming up with stories that people will believe because he’s an “insider”. Why would anybody talk to that dude anyway?

– WWE is now saying that the network will be launched some time in 2014. They won’t give a date, though. I believe them! No, really, I do!

– Shockingly, Tyson Kidd and Hunico have been having really good matches on house shows. WWE officials are high on them. I look forward to never seeing them on TV ever.

Insanity Pro Wrestling

#KOA v. The Kentucky Buffet || IPW Renascence 2012 – September 30, 2012
From TJ Hawke: “I really enjoyed this match. I think they used the two out of three falls to their advantage, as everybody (including myself) was truly invested by the end. The majority of the match was the Buffet getting the heat on Epic, but it never felt boring or repetitive. I definitely recommend this match.”

For more, please visit FreeProWrestling.com

Hell in a Cell Quick ‘n Dirty: Orton, Cena, Punk, AJ, Rhodeseses, Big E and the Wyatts if they (or Bray) get a match.

– Nicholas A. Marsico