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Wrestling’s 4Rs 11.15.13: WWE Raw & ROH TV Reviewed
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
Let’s rock…
By: Shawn S. Lealos
ROH Television 11.09.13:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
Steve Corino – I thought Steve Corino was one of the best color commentators in wrestling until he started leading SCUM and then he just got really annoying – and not bad guy annoying, but turn the channel annoying. However, since coming back, he has his wry sense of humor back and is hilarious almost through the entire episodes. The guy has fantastic one-liners and some perfect comic timing (Corino: “Bill Watts would be rolling in his grave” Kelly: “Maybe if he was dead” Corino: “Whaaaat?”). He is such a huge positive to watching ROH television and is perfect as the slightly heel comic color commentator.
Paul London def. Roderick Strong – Steve Corino had a perfect quote before the match started when he said that Strong was the least deserving face in the company. He said that Strong was an arrogant frat boy who didn’t take anything seriously, yet the fans are cheering him anyway. Honestly, Strong does not have the personality to be a good guy and is a perfect heel, but has built up the fan’s respect. This match is another reason for that, one of the best TV matches I have seen in a while (ROH is on a roll because I am saying that a lot lately). Strong and London started out slow and I was kind of worried, but they really turned it up and the two turned in an amazing match. There were so many near falls, and London even kicked out of the Sick Kick. These two guys put it all out there and the end came when London headscissored Strong over the top rope, caught him and hit a tombstone on the floor. He then rolled him back in and hit the Shooting Star Press for the win. This match just blew me away and was London’s best since his return. They need to sign him to a long-term contract now.
Tommaso Ciampa def. Jesse Sorrensen – It is nice to see Sorrensen return from being paralyzed and showing his stuff on national television. However, the match wasn’t that great. I was solid action but I honestly think Ciampa was holding back in this match. It wasn’t what it could have been and hopefully Sorrensen gets another chance as he grows more comfortable with his life after paralysis. The match also ended in a submission hold called the Sicilian Stretch and I really hope they don’t ditch Project Ciampa because an aggressive wrestler like Ciampa needs an aggressive finisher.
Adrenaline RUSH vs. Outlaw Inc. – I am not familiar with Eddie Kingston’s in-ring style, but in this match he was very slow and deliberate. There were quite a few times where it almost looked like he was standing still waiting for a move to hit him and then just kind of stumbling down. He also walked into moves more than he ran into them, which completely ruins the flow of an Adrenaline RUSH match. Homicide was better, telling a smart story of trying to take out the legs of Adrenaline RUSH to ground them, but he was kind of painting by the numbers as well. I like the IDEA of Outlaw Inc. but they need to turn things up a bit in their actual wrestling. There is also the fact that Kingston wants the fans to chant Snowflakes at reDRagon, which is just kind of lame.
li> THE RIDICULOUS:
Jay Briscoe is suspended – Ring of Honor strips Jay Briscoe of the world title, despite the fact that Nigel McGuinness was allowed to compete injured when he was champion. Briscoe agrees to return the title to the winner of the tournament and did so honorably to Adam Cole only to get kicked in the back of the head for it. Briscoe comes back for revenge and attacks Cole, only to have him escape. As a result, Ring of Honor suspends Briscoe because he is a danger to himself and Ring of Honor fans. It is stupid writing. I hope Briscoe turns bad and goes on a rampage, but with the way Ring of Honor is booking things, a bad guy Briscoe would get cheered even against Ring of Honor, thanks to the two-faced stupidity of the angle.
Man, I want to give this show an amazing rating because of the Strong vs. London match but the other two matches had problems. These weren’t bad matches, but this was Glory by Honor and the two prelim matches didn’t measure up. But, damn that main event was off the charts. Find and watch that match if nothing else. Show Rating: 7.5 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture |
By: Jack Stevenson
Raw 11.11.13:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
THE RIGHT:
I’m wheely pleased that Paul Heyman was on this show: Paul Heyman is unspeakably brilliant and I practically squeal with glee whenever his face appears on my TV screen. It was so good to have him back, even if it was only for one week; his promo was tremendous, a venomous and impactful diatribe against CM Punk, the fans and, surprisingly, Ryback. Of course, being confined to a wheelchair in the middle of a WWE ring with only Curtis Axel to protect you isn’t going to work out well for you, and Punk’s beatdown on Heyman was a little less cathartic, a little too predictable compared to the Hell in a Cell attack. I laughed out loud at Heyman telling Punk, with almost a weary resignation, “I hate you!” moments before the first cane shot was delivered. Never leave us Paul. (He’s probably going to have left us by next week’s Raw.)
A pier six brawl: This was so good! That moment where the Shield and the Wyatt Family realized that they were in each other’s way was terrific, and sadly all too rare in the modern wrestling environment where the constant demand for competitive matches mean most guys have already wrestled each other two or three times on Raw before they can have their first meaningful confrontation with each other. I was genuinely excited to see these two go head to head, and their brief skirmish managed to be satisfying while leaving me desperate for more. The involvement of Punk, Bryan, the tag champs and the Usos was very welcome as well, and helped create a chaotic, captivating ending to the show, with flashes of 1997 greatness about it.
Big Show’s choke-slam on Orton: Yeah, I’m struggling for positives. But, be honest, it was a pretty great choke slam.
Random Rights
- As the Manchester crowd dissolved into “Superman” chants for the second time (of three) in the night, simply overwhelmed with joy at seeing a man in a Superman costume, noted hero Antonio Cesaro salvaged their silliness by insisting from the ring apron that such a chant was clearly aimed at him.
- I would give SO MUCH MONEY for an R-Truth/JBL rap album.
puRgatoRy:
Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel: I feel like I short-change the Purgatory section a lot in this column, so hey, it can have Dolph Ziggler-Curtis Axel! They exchanged moves in a mildly entertaining fashion for a little while until Axel won in a bit of an anti-climax. It wasn’t brilliant but it had more energy than most of the other matches on the show, so it deserves a mention.
John Cena vs. The Real Americans: Some may say protesting about the way John Cena is booked is a fool’s errand, but I think the mere act of protesting can sometimes be comforting in it’s own right, so with that in mind “FUCK’S SAKE WWE I REALLY WANT TO LIKE JOHN CENA BUT IT IS VERY HARD TO DO SO WHEN YOU MAKE HIM BEAT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE WRESTLERS AND HIS TAG PARTNER SINGLE HANDEDLY, EVEN THOUGH THE MATCH ITSELF WAS PRETTY GOOD WHICH IS UNSURPRISING BECAUSE CENA IS SOMEWHAT UNDERRATED IN THE RING.” Oh, also, there was a nice powerbomb from Cena!
THE WRONG:
Opening Segment: God, this was weird. It was like it was written by somebody who’d never watched Raw before and had only been given a five-minute brief on the characters. Hapless lackey Brad Maddox attempting to overrule Randy Orton and Kane? Randy Orton and Kane barely even reacting to Brad Maddox attempting to overrule them? Vickie Guerrero booking Randy Orton in a Handicap match for no apparent reason? It all just seemed so off.
Most of the matches: I don’t know whether it was a group of wrestlers who just wanted to get the European tour over and done with, or a terrible crowd sucking all the life out of them, but I thought the vast majority of the wrestling on this show was reaaaaalllly dull. Orton vs. Rhodust was insipid and illogical (the point of a handicap match is not to allow multiple good guys to beat up a helpless villain,) Kingston-Sandow was sleepy, Langston-Del Rio was flat and pointless, and even the main event, which featured arguably the five best wrestlers in WWE (I say arguably because obviously Roman Reigns isn’t on the other four’s level, but he’s a very capable and enjoyable big man and I could understand if someone put him in their Fave Five), featured sequences that were the in ring equivalent of a vacuum in deep space. It made this episode such a drag to get through. Actually, since there’s so little interesting to talk about this week, let’s discuss our five favorite WWE wrestlers. Not necessarily the ones you think are the best from an artistic perspective, but the ones you enjoy watching the most.
5- Luke Harper:: I am an enthusiastic fan of tall, strong wrestlers who use their size to flatten smaller opponents, and Harper is the best example of that in WWE right now. He’s also fantastic at playing his character, and has legit great facial hair.
4- Daniel Bryan: Daniel Bryan’s pretty much the best wrestler since perhaps Eddie Guerrero? The man can do nothing wrong. Well, he must be doing something wrong because I only have him at number four, but either way, he’s fantastic.
3- Dean Ambrose:Dean Ambrose has the best facial expressions in wrestling. He is also a very good, methodical brawler, and has bags of charisma. He’s not quite as instantly exciting as my top two, but he’s not meant to be. Great, great man.
2- Antonio Cesaro: Cesaro is the manliest man in history. Plus he has a fantastic moveset, has repopularised the giant swing, and rivals Harper in the “big man who watches with amusement as little men bounce off him” stakes.
1- Cody Rhodes:: Cody’s my main man and if he wants to come round mine while he’s still on the same continent as me I will welcome him in for tea and maybe he can give me male grooming tips? In wrestling news, Cody is a fantastic wrestler, possibly the most underrated guy in WWE, and I always root for the underrated guys. He’s played about five different characters in six years with WWE and he’s got all of them over. Right now he’s your old fashioned handsome fiery white meat face, and he’s flipping marvelous at that as well. He also regularly uses the moonsault, which is like my favorite wrestling move. There’s nothing wrong with this man.
Random Wrongs:
- Despite their self-congratulations, the Manchester crowd weren’t remotely awesome. OK, they didn’t get a great show, but they didn’t even attempt to engage with about 85% of the card, and were more interested in getting themselves over.
THE RIDICULOUS:
NOTHING
Shit Raw with shit matches and a shit crowd but a GREAT closing angle. If you’re willing to power through a three hour show for five minutes of good fun I admire your tenacity. If you aren’t, maybe try and find the brawl elsewhere, but by all means skip the fuck out of this episode. Show Rating: 3.5 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture |
Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin…
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