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The Tuesday Communique 11.26.13: Pt. 4 of 4 – Marsico Dies At The End

November 26, 2013 | Posted by Nick Marsico

Everybody in the wrestling section is awesome, but check out all of the great News Columns we have. Oh, and if you’ve never done yourself the pleasure or if you just miss him, check out The Dunn List. I miss that dude.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION! This is the last one, folks, but my ass ain’t going anywhere!


WWE Monday Night RAW from Long Island, NY || TV Review

Randy Orton Is Still The Champ!
– Haven’t seen Survivor Series, but hey, Orton won via not-quite-nefarious means!
– Orton’s not happy about it, apparently, but I bet it’s all a ruse.
– Crowd doesn’t give a shit about this melodrama so they chant for Daniel Bryan.
– Orton starts calling himself the greatest superstar EVER EVER EVER, and I can feel the techs queueing up Cena’s music.
– There he is!
– Good boy Cena for bringing up the Daniel Bryan chants.
– Holy cow are they FINALLY going to merge the belts?
– TLC match for both belts, eh? You KNOW that’s not going to end decisively.
– Though to be fair… Chris Jericho became the first Undisputed Champion at the December PPV in 2001.
– Nah, fuck finish. I assume it culminates at WrestleMania, and I don’t have a problem with that.

Six-Man Tag: The Shield v. Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes & Goldust
– Dude, Reigns eliminated 4 guys? FUCK YEAH WAR ROMAN REIGNS~!
– Did I use that correctly?
– Goldust takes the beating to start but LAUNCHES Rollins over the top. That was almost a Shawn Michaels BIG BOY BUMP!
– Reigns gets the tag and the entire first part of the match is Goldust getting his ass kicked as we head to commercial.
– Double DDT on Reigns and Ambrose from Goldust! Rollins makes the tag! In comes Rey!
– He flippies all over Rollins, which must make him uncomfortable because that’s his deal!
– Double KO with both men hitting cross bodies!
– Missile dropkick from Cody to Ambrose! Not sure who’s legal! Alabama Slam!
– Rey lowbridges Reigns! 619? NO! HUGE SPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE! SPEAR ON GOLDUST!
– Disaster Kick takes him out! Ambrose gets the bulldog driver to pin Cody!
Awesome match. Great heat segment on Goldust before the break then balls-out action for the rest. Ambrose pins Rhodes.

Miz TV With Michael Strahan!
– Hey, that’s not Michael Strahan! Titus O’Neal gets the mic! YES!
– Ooh, nice dig on the Giants from Miz!
– Here’s the real Michael Strahan. I prefer the Titus O’Neal version of his music.
– Strahan’s not bad but his Michael Buffer impression ain’t no good.
– Okay, apparently the Performance Center is in Long Island.
– Strahan hiptosses The Miz with the mic in his hand! Titus gets one too!
– Wait… so is Miz not a heel any more? What’s this shit?

Did Michael Cole just call the iPhone “your app machine”? Eh, he’s not wrong.

Ryback & Curtis Axel v. Big E Langston & BALD MARK HENRY
– I wouldn’t be against putting Axel and Ryback together as a full time tag team. Might be the only way either guy can regain credibility.
– I think Axel had more credibility when he was jobbing on Saturday morning as Michael McGillicutty.
– Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam and that’s that.
Clunky as hell, but short and good enough. I wanna see Henry v. Big E at TLC. Henry pins Axel

Does WWE really have 14 women on the roster? Good lord.

Chicks Match
– Took up some time.
Dunno the result.

– Okay, I did watch some of it. It was actually pretty decent. Only thing of note was Brie Bella hitting (missing) the worst dropkick ever.
– Oh and Eva Marie is really hot.

Hamptons Hardcore Match: Dolph Ziggler v. Damien Sandow
– The Islanders are moving to Brooklyn? Best thing to ever happen to Long Island.
– I’m not sure I get this feud but it’s FUCKING AWESOME.
– Garbage can dropkick!
– Neckbreaker in the trash!
– ELBOW OF DISDAIN~! on the Islanders jersey!
– Ziggler goes under the ring. Sandow tries to pull him out. Ziggler uses the fire extinguisher. VINTAGE HARDCORE MATCH!
– Oar to the back! Fameasser! Only 2!
– Jumping DDT on the chair only gets 2!
– If the Long Island crowd was actually clever instead of just random sheep they’d chant for Lanny Poffo instead of Randy Savage.
– Oar shot and full nelson slam end it.
Enjoyed this match a lot. Good 90s style silly hardcore match. It’s even now at 1-1. Oklahoma City Bombing Match next week to settle the score? Too soon? Sandow pins Ziggler.

Michael Strahan puts on the goat mask! Would have been better without the Santino part at the end. Perfectly bizarre otherwise.

Renee Young Interviews Punk & Bryan!
– Comedy segment! YES!
– I don’t even care that Bryan got fucked out of the main event. These guys are awesome.
– Punk FINALLY addresses The Authority!
– Scott Colton, Scotty Goldman, Matt Classic, Colt Cabana AND Chris Guy! And a Ring Crew Express reference!
– Seriously, this is fucking awesome.
– They should just take the name Team Work as a tribute to the AWESOME Austin Aries/Bryan Danielson tag team in ROH.

3-on-2 Handicap Match: The Wyatt Family v. CM Punk & Daniel Bryan
– Looking forward to checking out the Survivor Series match. Apparently Luke Harper stood out.
– Check out Brodie Lee matches on the Youtube. Dude’s awesome. Had a great series against the former Claudio Castagnoli in CHIKARA.
– Wyatt to Bryan: “I thought you came to fight, did you not?”
– Holy shit Rowan fucking tossed Punk right outta the ring!
– Really hoping that after all the fun this ends up getting real serious in the months to come, culminating in a Wyatt/Punk feud. The promos could be legendary.
– Sweet bearhug from Rowan. I don’t think anybody’s ever typed or said “sweet bearhug” before this moment.
– Hot tag Bryan! He’s everywhere! Harper blocks the kick! Powerbomb! NO! Huracanrana!
– Michinoku Driver from Harper to Bryan!
– IT’S BREAKING DOWN ON THE ISLAND!
– Ref throws it out! Who’s coming out to save them? 3-on-2 tables match at TLC?
– Oh shit they’re taking Bryan. That can only lead to him making a shitty sequel and coming back in a dapper (but ill-fitting) suit.
– ROMAN REIGNS SPEARS PUNK OUT OF NOWHERE!
– Three-on-one powerbomb for Punk.
– Are we finally seeing the link between The Authority and The Wyatts beginning to be revealed?
Total fun here. Great work from everybody involved and a hot crowd. That’s all to be expected. Match ends in a no contest.

Kofi Kingston v. The Miz
– Wait, Miz shook hands last night and then Kofi slapped him? With the alleged focus on tag teams, maybe Miz and Kofi will end up teaming as heels. Miz was just trying to pull some fire out of Kofi.
– Neither the crowd nor the commentators give a fuck about this match. Good to know.
– Miz ends up getting the win with a crucifix rollup.
Match was technically fine enough but they don’t have much chemistry as opponents. They essentially went out there and died in front of a dead crowd. Miz pins Kofi.

Xavier Woods v. Heath Slater
– Xavier gets to come out with the Funkadactyls and does Brodus Clay’s entrance way better than the original.
– Crowd chants something for a while but I can’t make it out.
– Meanwhile, Woods is looking good in the ring.
– Woods wins while JBL yells about some kind of malarkey.
Very good debut singles match for Woods. It’s just too bad Long Island was busy jerking off. Woods pins Slater.

John Cena & Big Show v. Randy Orton & Alberto Del Rio
– Are these really supposed to be the four most important guys in the company right now?
– Big Show hits people for a while and they go to commercial.
– Back live and the crowd is falling asleep but still trying to chant for Daniel Bryan.
– NICE implant DDT from Del Rio. Cena’s DDT bump is usually pretty awesome.
– I’m a huge fan of Big Show but I don’t believe that he’s being used as a main event guy in 2013. Do they really think he’s going to pop buyrates?
– Are they doing a Big Show concussion angle? Either that or Del Rio just Goldberg’d him.
– Maybe Show will end up with amnesia and find himself somewhere in Cleveland.
– I can’t tell what they’re saying, so I’m going to assume the crowd is chanting “We Love Pussy!”
– STF! CENA MAKES AN OVERLY RIDICULOUS INTENSE FACE! DEL RIO TAPS!
– Orton clocks Cena with the WWE Title and raises both belts high. He should strap them together and wear them as one.
Match was fine. Don’t know why they did the head injury shit with Big Show. This would be, on my count, the third time they’ve done it this year. Once with Triple H, then with Ziggler and now Big Show. At least when they did it with Ziggler the crowd was into it, it put him over as being tough and was actually set to elevate him until Vince woke up from a nightmare and pulled the rug out from under him. Cena submits Del Rio.

Overall RAW Thoughts: Typical night-after-PPV show. Some new stuff started, some stuff got continued, everybody else meandered around for a while. Nothing was actually bad, but this week’s show was more dull than usual. I don’t hate myself for spending 2 1/2 hours watching, so that’s a positive review, right?

– Sami Callihan (now Solomon Crowe, which is awesome) may be coming up to the main roster in early 2014 as part of a tag team. Speaking of tag teams, The American Wolves Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards debuted at the NXT tapings last week as The American Pitbulls Eric Philbin and John Cahill. Interesting names. Not really. I hated Seth Rollins when I first heard that name and it has grown on me quite well, so no judgment will be passed from me.

– Apparently there are TWO Hercules movies in production right now.

– Holy jesus! WWE is considering launching the WWE Network by offering WrestleMania 30 free if you sign up for the $9.95/month service. If they really have the balls to go for that (the old Vince did) then I would sign up in an instant. I’m already set to sign up for it if they offer PPVs as part of the package, even if they DON’T include WrestleMania. It’s 2 years later than they intended to launch the network, but if it happens this way it would be well worth the wait. Plus I promise I’ll stop making jokes about the painstaking process of ridiculous on-off-on-off-on-off WWE Network announcements.

– Maybe.

– According to Dixie Carter in an interview with ESPN dot com, TNA hasn’t been funded by Panda Energy for quite a while now. In fact, her parents actually think she’s wasting her money by keeping TNA afloat. Other sources are saying that the Carters (not just Dixie) want to keep a partial share in company ownership while allowing a partner to fund the other half of the company. Something like that. I don’t know business lingo. The only thing people seem to be agreeing on is that no matter what happens, in the end Jeff Jarrett is going to end up with more power than he currently has, which can only be a good thing now that he’s no longer a low-rent version of Triple H. I still miss the “TAKE YOUR HAT, YOUR COAT, AND LEAVE!” chant, though. Oh that silly 2004-2005 Impact Zone crowd. The FSN days were weird and a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the concept they went with.

– Good lord apparently Great Khali inspired a fellow humongous Indian man to become a wrestler. According to rumors and out-of-control hyperbole, the guy stands at 14 feet 6 and three fifteenths inches tall and weighs as much as two semi trucks connected at the ass to a 747 jet aeroplane.

– Hey, Roderick Strong might be headed to TNA. Remember a bunch of years ago when he, Austin Aries and Alex Shelley formed a 10-minute long version of Generation Next in TNA? That was pretty cool.

– Speaking of that Dixie Carter interview, her answer about Hogan’s run in TNA is spot-on:

“I think Hulk has been worth it. He’s opened a lot of doors for us. When you’re about to lose a deal in an international territory and one phone call from Hulk Hogan makes a man who doesn’t even speak your language melt and you get your deal back, that carries a lot of weight. There’s not another guy out there who could do that. If we did anything wrong with him, we used him too much on television. If he stayed with us, you’d probably see less of him.”

– Sheamus has recently been pushing for a match against The Undertaker at WrestleMania 30. If they do go with Cena v. Orton and they can’t get Sting, I would take Sheamus v. Undertaker over Lesnar v. Undertaker any day of the week. Most specifically Sunday April 6, 2014.

– That Scooby Doo/WWE crossover movie finally has a title and a release timeframe! Search our website to find it. I just closed the page that I saw the title on and already forgot.

– Hornswoggle is going to make a cameo in the “Muppets Most Wanted” movie coming out next year. My son’s going to shit his pants when he sees that.


EVOLVE Wrestling


Chris Hero v. Bobby Fish || EVOLVE 3 – May 1, 2010

From TJ Hawke: “This was a fun match with a more lively crowd than I remember. Fish was showing a ton of potential in 2010. He never really had the singles run he could have had in WWN, but his 2010 stuff is really worth checking out. Hero and Claudio’s 2010 Evolve matches are definitely worth checking out if you have not already.”

For more, please visit FreeProWrestling.com

Yes indeed, the weekly run of The Tuesday Communique has met its end. I’ve been back at 411 for over 2 years now. I didn’t realize it had been that long. As I’ve stated I’m not actually leaving this place. I have too much fun writing about wrestling and interacting in the comments section. With a new baby coming, different work hours (and a promotion!) and a lot more on my plate than I’ve had in a long while I’m just not going to be able to keep up with a weekly column for a while. I’m going to be bi-weekly starting in December (beginning mid-week, maybe Thursdays) and you’ll get other content from me intermittently here and there. It might actually end up being more Marsico than ever before, just in a way that makes it easier for me to write something halfway decent and not have to worry about deadlines while trying to enjoy life and the 30 other directions I’m being pulled in.

I’ve got some hopefully cool stuff planned. Stick around for the ride, would you?

– Nicholas A. Marsico

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