Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Column, the Sunday home for your favorite 411Mania News Report's favorite 411Mania News Report!
It's pay-per-view Sunday, which means it's time for some bold (and downright stupid) predictions regarding the night's event! Plus I ask you to weigh in on the main event's result. Then we get to explore the possibility to Shawn Michaels returning to the ring (it's not all about skill, by the way) and see a classic Shawn match from Raw. The column element you voted in (Quick Hits) makes it's debut, and we look at a girl! #GlassesAndAsses!
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This Sunday, the WWE presents TLC, its annual celebration of three crucial elements of the Attitude Era: Tables, Ladders and Chairs.
Okay—it's not really done for that reason, but it sounds good, right?
By now you've seen the collection of predictions put together by our amazing staff of writers—right here at 411Mania! (Cheap pop.) These are a little different...bolder, if you will. Are they likely to happen? No. Are they feasible? Indeed they are!
The Main Event Will Have a Clean Finish
By clean I mean there will be one single champion with no outside interference. No screwy finish that sees two champions remain, the championship(s) held in abeyance, or The Authority showing their stamp of approval by anointing via outside interference.
I understand why the end of Monday's Raw leads many to believe otherwise. And that's because it was supposed to do that! You're supposed to think that The Authority, Shawn Michaels, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk or even The Shield or The Wyatt Family could get involved and impact the finish. But there are so many elements of the story you are missing if you feel that way.
For starters, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon only help Randy Orton when they need to. They're actually trying to motivate Randy Orton to be the champion they selected, not a handpicked warrior leading a charge. They're manipulating Randy Orton and The Shield just as much as everyone else on the roster—that's the whole point of their roles. Triple H's Pedigree of Orton Monday night served two purposes: reaction to Stephanie being sent down and reassertion of The Authority as the leadership of the company—not Orton.
I do think Triple H and Stephanie want Randy Orton to win, and if he doesn't there might be hell to pay. But I don't think they'll try to help him. After that Pedigree, it's now a given that one thing is coming: RKO to Triple H.
I don't think Orton is to that place just yet. But after my next bold prediction…he will be.
TLC Will End With One Champion Standing Tall: Triple H
I said he wouldn't interfere in the match, but I didn't say he wouldn't be in the match. Monday's Raw ended with chaos, and chaos is what The Authority wants to avoid. As COO, Triple H wants a champion he can depend on, a champion he can trust.
Randy Orton knocked out his wife—he's not a champion Trips can trust! John Cena wants to give Daniel Bryan another opportunity—that's not the champion Triple H wants to depend on!
There's an old saying: "If you want a job done right, do it yourself." This could be Triple H's philosophy headed into Houston. He's set up something amazing—epic, even. Corporate Kane has already taken care of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan (more on those two in a moment). But the two biggest variables are in the TLC match itself. There's only one way for Triple H to get around this, and that's to be in the match with them.
Plus, it returns us to the story we've been telling since SummerSlam. Daniel Bryan is an irresistible force, and Triple H has been resisting for quite some time. Wrestling is good versus evil, and good needs to prevail. I had someone very knowledgeable tell me to expect WrestleMania to end with Daniel Bryan finally winning the WWE Championship, and I'm going to hold them to it. What better end to the story than to have Daniel Bryan defeat Triple H—the man who has been holding him down—for the title at WrestleMania.
In order for that to happen, Triple H needs to be champ. It can happen at the Royal Rumble, or even Elimination Chamber. Or they can do it now, at WWE: TLC.
Daniel Bryan and CM Punk will not compete on two handicap matches
See, this is why they're called bold predictions. I don't know which match goes on first—but let's assume it's Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family. It won't be long before we see Punk, out to right the wrong put forth by The Authority. The Shield wouldn't be far behind, with Corporate Kane in tow to make a new match official: CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield, The Wyatt Family and possibly Kane himself.
After Monday's Raw, the battle lines are becoming clearer with John Cena, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan opposite The Authority (and in reality, Randy Orton stuck in the middle). This "impromptu" change during WWE: TLC will further Punk & Bryan's element of the story as we roll towards The Road To WrestleMania.
And c'mon who really wants to see TWO handicap matches on the same pay-per-view?
Natalya wins the Divas Championship
In all reality, there's absolutely no good reason for Natalya to win the Divas Championship. AJ is actually more popular, and Natalya is inspiring no one to care about anything she does.
"So why in the world is Natalya going to win, then, Greg?"
Two words: Total Divas.
Think about it. This stuff is filmed in advance, so Natalya's title win can be part of the new season, which could air during the all-important Road to WrestleMania. WWE likely wants this prop to be featured on the show, and will use it to build a title match for New Orleans.
Sorry, Tony Acero, but expect AJ to be less of a player in the coming months.
TLC Ends Up Being a Sneaky Good Pay-Per-View
There are talents on this show that can deliver. Hell, even the Kickoff Match has a good vibe to it. The main event has the ability to shock and amaze us, in more ways than one. Two of the three best Divas on the television roster are wrestling in the women's match. We have a lot of talent in the tag team championship match. The two handicap matches feature a total of eight very talented wrestlers.
There's reason to believe this can and will be a very strong event—despite the booking fears many of us have.
So watch it. Watch…and enjoy.
A tradition started at the end of each point when I wrote The Wrestling 5&1, "You Decide!" is your chance to weigh in on a major question facing professional wrestling each week. Vote once per hour, and leave your opinions in the comments section!
There's plenty of speculation around the finish to the WWE: TLC main event. Well, I don't care what the "insiderz" and such think—I want to let you decide!
The main event of WWE: TLC is being played up as the biggest match in a very long time (well, at least since Rock-Cena II), so let me know how you think this thing is going down.
Voting closes Wednesday night!
At WrestleMania 26, Shawn Michaels attempted to end The Undertaker's Streak, and failed. In losing his bid to take something of grave importance to The Undertaker (pun intended), Shawn lost something equally important to him: his career. That was Shawn Michaels last professional wrestling match, as he formally retired the following night and was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame the following year.
Shawn has made numerous appearances since retiring, including a great "promo" on Alberto Del Rio, serving as a guest referee for the Triple H vs. Undertaker match at WrestleMania 28, serving as the guest referee in October's Hell In A Cell pay-per-view, and of course superkicking CM Punk during the chaotic final segment of Monday's RAW.
Each time Shawn appears, there is speculation that Shawn will ultimately return to the ring, fulfilling the desires of thousands who have chanted "one more match" at ol' HBK.
But Shawn has become more and more involved in the current "Authority" storyline, including physical involvement with both Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. Given his friendship to Triple H (both real and kayfabe), his love for the WWE Universe, and his likely dedication to the success of Daniel Bryan, it's easy to call for the legend to return…at least one more time.
But Shawn's the one who did it right…right? He'd never go back on his retirement like the Terry Funks, Ric Flairs and Mick Foleys before him…right? He's the Showstopper! Mr. WrestleMania! Good old Aitch Bee Kay!
As The Road To WrestleMania looms in the not too distant future, we are looking at the very real possibility (or at least speculative possibility) of a Shawn Michaels in-ring return.
So that begs the question: Should he return? Will he return?
Yes. Yes, Shawn Michaels should most definitely return to the ring. YES! YES! YES!
Now obviously I use those Yes's for a reason. The early parts of The Authority storyline pointed to an eventual Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan showdown at WrestleMania XXX, but it now points to Daniel Bryan vs. Shawn Michaels (and Triple H vs. either CM Punk or Randy Orton). Hell, I could even entertain the thought of Triple H & Shawn Michaels vs. CM Punk & Daniel Bryan.
But what do those for mean for Shawn's retirement?
In my opinion, Shawn Michaels can wrestle at WrestleMania 30 and still be billed as a "Retired WWE Hall of Fame Legend." He's not returning full-time. He's not making "one more run." Not chasing gold for the very last time. Shawn Michaels is wrestling a match. He's still retired, still shooting guns and filming a reality show. He's still going to make random appearances.
It's just a match. And I was at WrestleMania 26. I saw Shawn's last match and attended the retirement party that was Raw on the following night. And I wouldn't feel slighted in any way. It was still Shawn's retirement match, and his retirement "ceremony." The story is Daniel Bryan and CM Punk (and Triple H) bringing him out for one more match. Not because he wants it, or he needs something, but because he—as a man, not a wrestler—is mad, upset, or needs to teach someone a lesson.
Or in reality, to put over his protégé, the one talent that he'll be linked to more than any other, Daniel Bryan.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
But that's only the answer to "should." Will Shawn Michaels return?
Shawn Michaels can and should return to a WWE ring to put over Daniel Bryan. But he's not. He lost his retirement match to The Undertaker, quite possibly the most respected wrestler in the modern era of professional wrestling. He did it in the main event of WrestleMania. He got a proper send off the following night on Raw. Shawn himself has listed these as reasons for never returning.
So what does he do? He referees. In the point above I alluded to a Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan match for the Unified WWE Championship at WrestleMania 30. What better referee than Shawn Michaels. What better act than to come full circle and count the 1-2-3 for his protégé over his best friend.
Outside of a match, it's the perfect ending to the story Daniel Bryan and Shawn Michaels have been telling.
So Curtis Axel pretty much sucks, right? And Ryback has been completely ruined by WWE creative, right? So we put them together, and they suck, right?
Then why does the name "RYBAXEL" make them more bearable? Just because it's a quirky name & stuff?
Each week, Greg looks at various newsbites from the week. Greg will rate them using the propriety Believability Meter (patent pending), and might poke a little fun at them.
Okay, he'll poke a lot of fun!
Sting Likely Staying with TNA
The Wrestling Observer is reporting that Sting's contract expires in January (this is true, as they've been very public about it in the past), and he's likely to re-sign. He's facing Ethan Carter III at upcoming house shows in January.
Believability Meter: Sting has every reason to sign with TNA here. Who wants to wrestle in the New Orleans Superdome—right in the heart of the old UWF, a place where Sting gained his early fame—when you can wrestle in a high school gym instead!?!?
Sounds like a no brainer to me.
Kaitlin's Fiancé PJ Braun was busted for steroids…in 2011
Reports surfaced that WWEDiva K8LYN's worse half, body builder PJ Braun, was busted for steroids.
This is a shocker how? I mean, he's a body builder for crying out loud. I'm pretty sure you get disqualified if you don't use steroids and deprive your body of delicious nourishing water.
This just in: he was seen hanging out with John Cena in February of 2011!
Okay, I made that up.
Believability Meter: Well, it's kinda hard not to believe this one, since it's a matter of public record. But I guess it kills any outside chance he had at a contract, eh?
TNA Is Possibly Still For or Not For Sale
The Wrestling Observer reported that while sale rumors of TNA died down, there is still an interested party—provided the price is right, the sale is for complete ownership, and Mickie James is resigned to reenact her fetish photoshoot from over a decade ago.
Oh, and it's "worth noting" (their words, not mine) that the celebrity in question is not Billy Corgan.
It's also "worth noting" that I made up the part about Mickie James. The Wrestling Observer made up the rest. ZING!
Believability Meter: I don't believe this for a second. Thursday must have been slow at the Observer.
Speculation abounds that the WWE will announce its network plans at CES in Vegas
The WWE is going all out for their presentation at January's International CES in Las Vegas. They're even bringing in the big guns as guests: John Cena, Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels and Triple H (who likely would have been there anyway).
The big speculation is that they will unveil the plans for the network at the event, and that it might in fact be a purely online service. This fits in with the theme of the conference, where the WWE touted their WWE App last year (#SeeWhatIDidThere?).
Believability Meter: I'm down with this one, and if streaming of PPVs is involved, they might be able to count Greg DeMarco as a customer.
The best part? You readers bitching that they're not bringing more current superstars. Even though the network will go back in time more than it will show the product of today.
This just in: still no CM Punk ice cream bars!
Maria Kanellis is beefin' with The Bella Twins (not what you think…or maybe it is!
According to an interview with Live Audio Wrestling, former WWE Diva and current First Lady of Ring of Honor Maria Kanellis discussed her distaste for The Bella Twins. She also said that their Dad's got into it over this very important matter, even resulting in a little phone spat! I know!
Let me trump ol' Dave Meltzer here and give you the real inside scoop as to how that conversation went:
"My daughter's prettier than your daughters."
"I have twins, everyone prefers twins!"
"At least my daughter isn't a plastic Barbie doll!"
"At least my daughters are welcome back in the WWE!"
"My penis is bigger than yours."
"Hahahahahahahaha, we all know we both have small penises!"
"Okay, true. Let's go get some wings."
Yeah, that's pretty much how it went!
Believability Meter: Who gives a fuck!
Jonny Fairplay being inducted into the Survivor Hall of Fame
Famed Survivor contestant (and sometime pro wrestling performer) Jonny Fairplay is being inducted into the Survivor Hall of Fame. Let's be honest, it's a reality television show's Hall of Fame. That's like getting your own statue for your record breaking performances in the Special Olympics.
But if we were to take this Hall of Fame seriously, then Jonny Fairplay totally deserves to be in it. I mean, he went with "Dead Grandma" to save himself! That's freaking amazing!
Believability Meter: Definitely believable. The only think I can't believe is that no commenters bitched about it not being related to wrestling yet posted in the wrestling section. Step yo game up, fools!
Oh, and this: Survivor has a Hall of Fame? Well, so does TNA!
What news jumped out at you this week?
In wrestling today, there is no show quite like Raw. Giving us moments and memories that we will cherish forever, and some we'd rather not ever recall again. This space is the chance to look back in time, each week, to a Raw memory.
We'll start with a good memory, a match in fact. I know you'll enjoy it, this is a classic.
This match features one of HBK's best superkicks ever, but also serves as one of Shelton's best matches ever. And that's saying a lot. At the 11:52 match, Benjamin connects with a front kick that could have been his "Sweet Chin Music," a move that could have been the emotional hook with the fans that kept Shelton around long enough to finally break through.
Leave your suggestions in the comments below!
Our DeMarcette of the Week is a favorite of Greg DeMarco Show listeners worldwide, and most of that has to do with the phrase "glasses and asses."
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