World’s Most Dangerous Column 2.2.14: Royal Rumble? Bad. CM Punk? Mad. For Wrestling? Sad.

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Stance #1 – This is an elaborate work.

This is the fun one. This has to be a work, eh? CM Punk is famous for his Pipe Bomb promo of three years ago. It caused a surge in popularity and got people talking. Let’s start with some facts.

It’s been reported that CM Punk’s deal runs out in June. That’s important because the promo I embedded above is from 2011. June 27, 2011 to be exact. If he signed in June 2011, then he was signed before any of the (WWE version) Summer of Punk started.

Pipe Bomb? Under contract.

Money In The Bank vs. John Cena? Under contract.

Comic Con appearance? Under contract.

In CM Punk’s own documentary he says he signed a new deal at the Money In The Bank pay-per-view, which puts his deal in a July-to-July cycle. So what is it? Which one is the lie and which is the truth?

Maybe the deal actually runs out in July, but they just want us to think it’s in June. Why? WWE Payback, that’s why! The company’s June pay-per-view event just so happens to be emanating from…Chicago! June first at the Allstate Arena, to be exact.

Raw also comes to the same arena on Monday, March 3. This is a week and a day after the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. Know why that’s important? Because it’s also a week after the launch of the WWE Network.

Know why that’s important?

Because it’s also the end of the one week free trial. Raw is in the WWE’s craziest city at the end of the free trial to the WWE Network, and CM Punk is a huge question mark.

Imagine the scenario: the WWE refuses to mention CM Punk (which they tried to do last time—and failed…miserable). He slips from memories, only slightly. CM Punk then does a run in, through the crowd, at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. Everyone tunes in for Raw, and the hard sell goes on. They promise updates throughout the week, providing them on the WWE Network—for free—to everyone.

Monday we learn, via the WWE Network, that CM Punk is in Chicago for Raw. During Raw we learn that The Authority, Triple H & Stephanie McMahon—or even Vince McMahon himself—have afforded CM Punk time to address the crowd…AFTER Raw. It won’t air on the USA Network, but it just happens to air live on the WWE Network! Raw ends with Punk’s entrance, and everyone races to their digital devices to finally sign up for the network and hear the latest Pipe Bomb.

After reading that you might think I’m crazy. Am I? Or am I brilliant, because you know that shit would work, son!

In the wake of all this speculation, there is a report from The Examiner that this is all a work. Now, if you read this guy from The Examiner, you’ll see he makes Dave Meltzer look like he’s literally reporting live from the WWE booking meetings. Read his past headlines, and you’ll see that he has no freaking clue what he’s talking about.

(And honestly, neither do we!)

Stance #2 – This is all the WWE’s fault.

Yet another easy stance to take. I mean, how can the WWE expect CM Punk, a very passionate and motivated pro wrestler—not a sports entertainer, mind you—but a pro wrestler, sit back and watch as The Rock, Brock Lesnar and now Batista swoop in and grab the prime WrestleMania main event matches.

Sure, CM Punk had his 20+ minute classic with Chris Jericho. And sure, he was slated to face (and likely go over) Triple H at ‘Mania. But gosh darn it, CM Punk should be in the main event of WrestleMania! And if it weren’t for Vince McMahon’s “idiot daughter” and his “doofus son-in-law,” we’d have just that!

Internet meme says it all?

It’s so easy to see where CM Punk is coming from. He’s “The Best In The World,” right? (He’s not, Daniel Bryan is.) He doesn’t deserve to have “his spot” given to someone else! He earned it! He fought for it! Guys like Batista and The Rock, they had their chance! They left to make movies and now it’s time for the guys of today like Punk and Daniel Bryan!

And see, Punk’s not being selfish here, either. Nope! He’s the Voice of The Voiceless, remember? He’s standing up for the Daniel Bryans, Dolph Zigglers and Antonio Cesaros of the world. Someone has to vouch for the Zack Ryder, Wade Barrett and Justin Gabriel, why not Punk?

The “fact” of the matter is, what CM Punk is saying is right, and I know Vince McMahon has GOT to be listening!

Stance #3 – This is CM Punk’s fault.

Face it folks, the reports are true. (Which reports?) CM Punk has been miserable since Day One. Ever since he signed on with the WWE in 2005, he’s been held down by the man, set up to fail time after time after time. (Yet he still signed, and re-signed.) It took Paul Heyman and Shawn Michaels to save CM Punk’s WWE career, and that only got him so far.

CM Punk should be upset, he’s only a 5-time former world champion. That’s one less than Batista! And let’s not forget that fact that during CM Punk’s 434-day run as WWE Champion, John Cena & The Rock headlined WrestleMania ahead of him, and Brock Lesnar was brought in to gain more mainstream attention for the company.

The WWE obviously has no faith in CM Punk (despite giving him a “live mic” with no script on multiple occasions—and despite letting him carry the most important title in the company for over a year!) or he wouldn’t have lost two straight matches to The Rock. They can’t trust him (even though he was trusted to face The Undertaker at WrestleMania 29).

Finally there’s the fact that the Divas division is stale. Not in the ring, but in the fact that CM Punk has already banged all of them. They need to bring up new ~~asses~~ faces for ~~Punk~~ the audience to enjoy! And Punk should totally have his own reality show, where he’s constantly banging Divas…

And dammit—HE NEVER GOT HIS WWE ICE CREAM BARS!

What’s The Big Answer???

So what is it, Greg? Is CM Punk right? Is he wrong? Will he be back?

Listen people, CM Punk does have some legitimate gripes. So does Dolph Ziggler. So does John Cena! Everyone has gripes in the WWE, all to varying degrees of seriousness. But you know what they do? They talk about them! Not publicly, not via Twitter—but in an office, behind closed doors. Then they take a break to cash their six-figure paycheck!

CM Punk doesn’t do that, he takes his gripes public. When he doesn’t get his way, he walks out on the company at the start of the biggest three month stretch of the wrestling year. That just doesn’t sit right with me. Maybe he has some really legitimate complaints. But he’s easily pulling in over a million-dollars per year, he’s nailing AJ Lee (and countless other Divas before her), and he’s an icon in professional wrestling.

Many think he’s doing this because he’s so passionate about the business. I think it’s because he’s a big baby who isn’t in the main event of WrestleMania. Hasn’t that been his complaint for the past few years? Apparently, a win over Triple H (the biggest heel in the company) isn’t good enough for Punk. He needs more, he needs to be front and center even if the marketplace clearly puts him at #3 behind Daniel Bryan and John Cena.

CM Punk will be back. You see, he decided to leave during The Road To WrestleMania. Which will backfire on him, because he’ll soon be forgotten. Not forever, but we’ll stop talking about this in a few weeks. He’ll stop getting mainstream media calls, he’ll stop being the unsung hero of the WWE. Then…he’ll come back. Maybe at Elimination Chamber, maybe at WrestleMania, maybe at Payback. He’s gone away, but he will be back. As soon we stop caring that he isn’t there.

But there’s an important point that everyone seems to be missing—CM Punk walked out on his fans. He basically said that the fans only get to see him perform when he’s being booked his way. Do you think “Macho Man” Randy Savage liked needing Hulk Hogan’s help to win the WWF Championship at WrestleMania IV? Do you think Randy Savage liked being turned into a jealous bitch on the road to WrestleMania V? Do you think he liked playing second fiddle to Hogan during his entire year as world champ? Nope. But he did it. He didn’t complain. He didn’t walk out.

CM Punk doesn’t deserve to do his shitty rendition of the Macho Man Elbow anymore. Even if you come back, don’t do it. It sucks anyway.

You see, CM Punk forgot the most important thing about being a WWE employee:

No one—NO ONE—is bigger than the WWE.

Not John Cena…not Randy Orton…not Daniel Bryan…not The Rock…not Brock Lesnar…not Batista…

Not even you, CM Punk.

A tradition started at the end of each point when I wrote The Wrestling 5&1, “You Decide!” is your chance to weigh in on a major question facing professional wrestling each week. Vote once per hour, and leave your opinions in the comments section!

The biggest story of the week—and year to date—is the apparent departure of CM Punk from the WWE. As of today, how do you view CM Punk?

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Voting closes Wednesday night!

So Ryback becomes the most entertaining wrestler on Twitter, and he’s still hated by the Internet Wrestling Community?

Seriously, WTF?

In wrestling today, there is no show quite like Raw. Giving us moments and memories that we will cherish forever, and some we’d rather not ever recall again. This space is the chance to look back in time, each week, to a Raw memory.

I need to take a break from RAW to show you this video. It’s Dolph Ziggler on the WWE App after his loss to Antonio Cesaro on Friday’s Smackdown. It’s got the WWE logo on it, so you know it’s an approved promo. But it seems to come from the heart, and I hope it leads to something better for him.