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 411mania » Wrestling » Columns

Smart Marks 2.8.14: The Cool Down
Posted by Dino Zee on 02.08.2014

Earlier this week, I was starving. I ordered a sandwich, and sat outside, ready to eat. Then some kid approached, saying he was also hungry, and asked if I could spare some of it. I didn't share, because I was super hungry. Did I have every right to eat my whole sandwich? Of course. Did I owe that kid any of it? Of course not. Was it still a pretty selfish move? Yes, yes it was.

And that's pretty much all I have left as it pertains to our hero, CM Punk. Last week's column, plus this week's Fact or Fiction have me really over the whole thing. The feedback last week was, if I may speak totally honestly, quite overwhelming. I'm never one of those guys that gets nearly 100 comments, and I almost like it when it's a little more quiet. Yeah yeah, another jerk who puts himself in some sort of spotlight and then cringes when it gets focused on him. I know, I'm such a dipshit. Anyways, if you think Punk's 100% in the clear, great. If you don't, great. I think we're all better off focusing on the guys who are actually still wrestling at the moment.

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Angry Young Men

So, there's a rumor out there that WWE is planning on teaming up failed faces The Miz and Dolph Ziggler, and having them run as some sort of "angry young men" team. I know that some people hate speculation, but the second I read about this idea, I was instantly bummed out. Really, really bummed out.

The Miz hasn't had any traction with the WWE audience since about the time that CM Punk dropped his "pipebomb" on John Cena. In a world of real wrestlers who care about wrestling, the super sarcastic act of the Miz- coupled with his MTV background- eventually lost its effect with us. For me, it was really odd to see. I never thought Miz would get over with the fans in any shape, but then there he was towards the end of 2010, cashing in Money in the Bank against Randy Orton, and even getting a decent pop out of the whole thing. His reign wasn't the greatest of all time, but he can at least say that he got to beat John Cena at WrestleMania with help from The Rock. As a fan, I know that winning a title match at Mania with help from your all time favorite is one of the biggest dreams we have, and there was the Miz, living it.

Since then, he's done all he can to stay relevant, but outside of possibly his run in Awesome Truth, nothing has clicked. His face turn has been even more dismal, as he apparently went to the Sheamus School of Not Changing Anything About Your Act When Turning From Heel to Face. He's grating. He's annoying. He's smug. He was given Ric Flair's finisher even though he can't even do it right. The fans don't care about him. So, that's one half of our team.

The other? Dolph Ziggler, the man who actually broke the record held by the Miz for amount of time needed to lose all heat entirely. Blame booking all you want, blame injuries, blame whatever you need to blame, the facts remain that the night after WrestleMania, Dolph was quite possibly the hottest thing going. One kick from Jack Swagger and a loss to Alberto del Rio, and this guy is now losing to Fandango on preshows. I'm not blaming Ziggler for everything involved, but facts are facts. This dude is floundering harder than Miz at the moment, and it appeared that WWE didn't really care to do anything to try and salvage it.

So, this team will apparently be the salvage job. Immediately, I think of how Miz is going to torpedo this team before it ever has a chance. If he again changes nothing, and we still get suits, smug looks, and "Really?!?" fifty times, this team is dead in the water. If Dolph is still screaming about stealing shows and showing off, this team is dead. Now, if Miz can muster up some of that "edginess" (if I may) from his run in Awesome Truth, and if Dolph can add a little killer to his showman presentation, there's a chance that this works. Reclamation teams have a somewhat proud history in WWE, afterall.

However, listening to the Miz talk about how WWE has held him back is really going to fall flat with anyone who knows his story. He has his own talk show segment, has been paired with Ric Flair, got to share time with Michael Strahan, and is used for a variety of public appearances. The idea that WWE doesn't support Miz, in either smark or mark terms, just doesn't register.

Dolph, on the other hand? Dolph would be perfect. He could very easily bring up how once Swagger took him out, he was never given a proper attempt at regaining his spot, and was never given any opportunities to re-establish himself. He can talk about being forced to wrestle on pre-shows, or being used in meaningless tag team matches. Dolph's case may actually work for this.

You know who I think would make a much, MUCH better partner for Dolph? How about that guy that dared to get over a few years ago on his own, only to be used as Kane's personal bitch while John Cena took his girl away? What about Zack Ryder? I'm not asking for Ryder to get some gigantic push to a World Title, but man, wouldn't his story ring WAY more true than that of the Miz? Can't you actually imagine that Ziggler is indeed a bit perturbed with how his career has gone since roughly January of 2012? Shoot, can we make this an Angry Man Stable and have them ruin everything for everyone else? Anything that takes it from just being The Miz and Dolph Ziggler doing their usual, really.

Thoughts? Care about this team? Different ideas for different members? You know the drill - comment below!

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The return of MVP to American wrestling is something I'm liking, and I hope that he can bring something to TNA. On last night's Impact, he seemed to intimate that he wasn't simply there to stand around in a suit and engage Dixie in weekly power struggles. Instead, he said he'd be "hands on" while clenching a fist towards Rock Star Spud.

I like this a lot. Ignoring the usual TNA gripers, this is a move that TNA had to make. While most people have restarted the "TNA is going to die soon" discussion, I like to think that this bloodletting they've gone through in recent months (losing AJ, Sting, Jarrett, Hardy...) is a GOOD thing, and a NECESSARY thing in order to try and ensure the continued existence of the promotion. Paying big contracts to guys at the end isn't the best idea if you're trying to save a little money. And yes, this probably comes off as a bit hypocritical when one considers that MVP a) is not very young and b) probably didn't sign for free.

Regardless, MVP is someone we haven't seen in a couple years who always had a good rapport with the audience. He hasn't overstayed his welcome, he hasn't been overexposed, and he may actually still have the goods to deliver in the ring. With Magnus having next to no one to help legitimize his reign, perhaps having him go one on one with MVP down the line will do wonders for him.

I am also happy that MVP is in town because Dixie, bless her heart, just cannot carry a show on her own as the person in charge. She tries, damn it she tries, but she's clearly not an entertainer. Watching her tremble in the ring each week as she stares at the cameras and spews out her script has started to lose its charm. Having SOMEONE that can stand up to her, someone that isn't intimidated, can only improve the storyline for Dixie's Super Heel Team. As it stands, it may be one of the worst groups of all time. We obviously have plenty of time for things to turn and for guys like ECIII to actually be seen as a threat, but as it stands now, it's the Paper Champion Magnus, Dixie's Nephew Ethan, and the little guy, Rock Star Spud, running roughshod over TNA.

Save us, MVP.

Thoughts on MVP's arrival? Can he help TNA? Does it matter at all? Hit the comments!

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Last night, after watching Impact, my buddy asked if I had ESPN Classic. Unsure, I began to check my listings. "Why?" I asked. "Are they still showing AWA episodes?"

"No, I think it's Global wrestling now," he responded.

And he was right. For three solid hours last night, ESPN Classic was running Global shows. Consider this your notice (if you, like me, were unaware) that there is some good old school rasslin action for you to take in! Last night saw both Booker T AND Stevie Ray wrestling, in singles action. The kicker was seeing them both lose, to far 'inferior' competition. I guess that's the pitfalls of watching shows from 20+ years ago when they feature guys who became giant stars.

I used to watch Global back when it was around, and I am very excited to watch it all again. Global had its fair share of stars such as Justin Hawk (JBL), Booker T and Stevie Ray, Steve Austin, Eddie Gilbert, Rod Price, John Tatum, Al Perez, and many more. It also had some of the goofiest things you could imagine. Memories of Football Matches, Penalty Box Matches, and even Bungie Matches dance in my brain, and I love every flash of nostalgia.

This is really just a community service message: If you get ESPN Classic, and are not currently watching, I'd recommend getting a blast of neon early 90's past and check out some Global Championship Wrestling!

And that should do it for this week. Wanted to take it a little easier than last, and I think we accomplished that goal. Remember, no matter what, we're all in this together, we're all wrestling fans.

Until next week, enjoy your WWE, enjoy your TNA, enjoy your Lucha, enjoy your Puro, and enjoy your Indies.

It's All Wrestling. It's All Stupid. We All Love It.


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