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Wrestling’s 4Rs 2.14.14: WWE Monday Night Raw Reviewed
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
Let’s rock…
By: Jack Stevenson
Raw 2.10.14:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
THE RIGHT:
Rey Mysterio & The Brotherhood vs. The Wyatt Family: Another fun six man featuring a bunch of great wrestlers. I know it’s a nit-pick, but something that often takes me out of these matches is Mysterio pulling off illogical aerial moves on the likes of Harper and Rowan; no matter how good a Luchador you are, you shouldn’t be able to take Harper off his feet with a seated senton and a huracanrana if you’re 150 pounds and he’s a man mountain. Otherwise, this was the usual mix of fast paced action and good heat segments with Goldust continuing to excel at both. Also, Bray catching Mysterio mid-sprint and dumping him with Sister Abigail was flipping slick. Nice little sprint.
Christian & Sheamus vs. The Real Americans: Fuck! Where did this come from? I saw the match announced and shrugged my shoulders, as you do, but they all tore it up here. Sheamus and Cesaro have rightly earned plaudits for relentlessly clattering each other, but Christian took a bit of a beating as well and Swagger held up his end of the bargain when was in, especially considering he’s quite clearly no longer on the level of the others in the match. I was genuinely shocked when I remembered Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match last year, he’s gone into a decline that would make even Alberto Del Rio pity him. Still, if Sheamus and Cesaro are stuck for something to do at WrestleMania, there’s a fun opening match to be had.
THE SHIELD AND THE WYATTS THE SHIELD AND THE WYATTS: I cannot stop squealing! This was so great. Even though you knew deep down you weren’t getting a fight, that it was all posturing, it was still the most exciting non wrestling thing WWE have broadcast in ages. Every step both groups took forward ratcheted up the tension, the Wyatts are now the clear bad guys of this feud, and just minutes after being embarrassed by Mark Henry, the Shield looked like fearless warriors again. I can’t wait for Elimination Chamber.
John Cena vs. Randy Orton: The problem with John Cena and Randy Orton matches are that they’re absolutely fine, but because they’re the two biggest stars in the company and thus their matches are meant to be seismic, life-altering events, they always feel like a let down. At Summerslam 2007 they delivered a thrilling main event, but ever since then the only thing that’s really distinguished their battles from Raw main events is when something ludicrously melodramatic happens like Orton attempting to blow up Cena. Nothing like that happened in this match, but hey, that makes it a Raw main event, and unless I’ve got deeply, deeply confused, this was indeed a Raw main event! And a fine one at that. It’s not going to make the top ten at the end of the year, but it was solidly entertaining and the crowd, who at times seemed to be toying with the idea of a Pittsburgh style rebellion, were hooked on the near falls by the end. I have little or no desire to ever see this two wrestle again though.
puRgatoRy:
NOTHING
THE WRONG:
Why is Daniel Bryan not all over my TV screen: Because I am complicit in a vast IWC conspiracy or Daniel Bryan is really good at wrestling (it’s one of the two) I like it when Daniel Bryan is successful and doing relevant interesting things. This was not a week where this happened. He participated in a dreary opening segment with the Authority in which he was told he was getting the night off, and then later attacked Kane. Neither of those things made for inspiring viewing, and the Kane segment seemed like a real step down for someone who for the last couple of weeks has looked like a main event player. I’m starting to seriously worry we’re heading for Bryan-Kane at WrestleMania which just isn’t even slightly appealing.
Santino Marella vs. Fandango: I like both men and they could have a fun rivalry together given time, but this Emma thing isn’t working and I’m not entirely convinced it’s going to at all. I don’t think a woman doing a goofy dance is necessarily going to translate to arenas full of people. It worked for Fandango because of his entrance and mannerisms and costume and campness, but Emma has none of those things right now.
Synchronized Sinking: So this week Alberto Del Rio beat Dolph Ziggler in swift emphatic fashion and then locked him in the Cross Arm-Breaker and briefly you thought “hey, this Del Rio guy is actually kind of dangerous” but then Batista came out and made sure we didn’t have to trouble ourselves with that notion by beating him up and powerbombing him through a table. I know that the purpose of this feud is solely to make Batista look good, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be some sense of uncertainty or jeopardy, and I think it might be too late to salvage any of that, Del Rio’s been made to look totally inferior to Batista in every way. It’s not just their interactions, whenever they’re not on screen together Batista is winning the Royal Rumble or rubbing shoulders with Lesnar or Orton or Triple H, and meanwhile poor old Alberto is having pointlessly good matches with no-hope midcarders. This isn’t doing much for anyone.
Mark Henry vs. Dean Ambrose: A much needed United States Championship match, if Ambrose won he’d look strong going into one of the most important phases of his career, and if Henry won the Title receives a welcome shot in the arm and hopefully would be an excuse for numerous wigs to be split. How could this possibly go wrong? Well, if Mark Henry flattened Dean Ambrose for ten minutes and then lost after the Shield got involved. It seemed like they were actively attempting to find a way in which no one benefited from the match. Frustrating.
Divas Tag Endlessly: This was a noticeable step down from the Naomi centric matches of the last couple of weeks, with sloppiness a-plenty and no real point or purpose to the match.
THE RIDICULOUS:
BILLY GUNN NEEDS TO SHIT: hahahahahahahahahaha he needed to shit. Classic. I hope whoever came up with this has the image of a diarrhea riddled Billy Gunn defecating on the toilet burned into his or her mind forever.
THE RAW MATCH OF THE YEAR LIST:
- 2.03.14- Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
- 2.10.14- Sheamus & Christian vs. The Real Americans
- 1.27.14- John Cena, Sheamus & Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield
- 1.13.14- CM Punk & The New Age Outlaws vs. The Shield
- 1.20.14- Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio
- 2.03.14- The Shield vs. Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio & Big E. Langston
- 2.10.14- Rey Mysterio & The Brotherhood vs. The Wyatt Family
- 1.06.14- The Usos & Rey Mysterio vs. The Wyatt Family
- 1.06.14- The Rhodes Brothers vs. The Real Americans
- 1.06.14- CM Punk vs. Roman Reigns
- 1.27.14- Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio
The 411:
The Shield-Wyatts segment was immaculate pro wrestling and something I’d consider showing to people to say “hey this is why wrestling is the best fucking thing in the world, you don’t get moments like this in theatre or ballet or something.” The Real Americans-Sheamus/Christian match was unexpectedly superb as well. Otherwise, a flat, dull show that put the focus on wrestlers that aren’t really very interesting at the moment, but those two segments almost redeem the whole thing.Show Rating: 6.0
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
I rest my case.
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