World’s Most Dangerous Column 2.23.14: 5 Bold WWE Elimination Chamber Predictions

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A tradition started at the end of each point when I wrote The Wrestling 5&1, “You Decide!” is your chance to weigh in on a major question facing professional wrestling each week. Vote once per hour, and leave your opinions in the comments section!

Last week, I asked you to name the future of the WWE. Nearly 6000 votes later, you did!

This week, I have a question about WrestleMania XXX:

Given that Batista is in the main event of WrestleMania XXX, which Chamber participant would provide the best match against Batista? This may not be the person you want, or believe will face Batista. This is the man who would provide the best match alongside Batista in the WrestleMania XXX main event.

Return and vote once per hour!
Voting closes Wednesday night!

Each week, I look at various newsbites from the week. I’ll rate them using the propriety Believability Meter (patent pending), and might poke a little fun at them.

Okay, I’ll poke a lot of fun!

Xavier Woods wants his own WWE Network show
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313980/Xavier-Woods-Wants-His-Own-WWE-Network-Show.htm

Straight outta the “no shit” department, a WWE talent would like to have his own WWE Network show. Really? Couldn’t see that one coming!

While not every WWE talent likely wants a show (I’m sure some would just rather wrestle), Woods should get one. The guy is mega talented, and entertaining to boot. Plus, his pitch “Xavier Woods WWE 2K14 World Tour” would be a great marketing tool for the WWE video game product.

Talent + marketing? I’m down, and the WWE should be as well.

Joey Ryan Has Words For A WWE Executive
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313675/Joey-Ryan-Reveals-His-Email-Reply-To-WWE-Executive.htm

Joey Ryan revealed the message he sent to a WWE executive in response to his tryout. The WWE apparently found he was too old and too experienced for NXT.

I do enjoy reading his email:
“I respect your opinion but I could not disagree more with it. My talents and abilities allow me to travel the world and make a full-time living in professional wrestling, which is not something that most WWE Superstars could do on their own. You have coaches in place that have never drawn a dime in their careers trying to determine who and who cannot draw money which is the true flaw in your system. I have had far more successful names in wrestling, some within WWE itself, rave about my creativeness, character acting and ability to engage an audience and your evaluators missed it. Perhaps it’s time for you to reevaluate your evaluators. Good luck in finding your next big superstar.”

I’m down with what Joey said, even if it could cost him in the end. A few months ago, Adam Pearce revealed that he had been paid by the WWE, TNA and ROH all in the same year. He later showed a screen cap (or retweeted one) of his name in the credits for the WWE video game. Pearce is also too old and too experienced to appear for the WWE, but could end up there (or with TNA) once his in-ring career is over. His email (now made public) pretty much solidifies that he won’t ever have a job with the WWE, even when he’s done wrestling. I get that he’s frustrated, but we can’t all be CM Punk. In fact, CM Punk couldn’t “pull a CM Punk” until he had millions in the bank.

TNA Needs Volunteers for The Lockdown Fanfest! OMGLOLZ!!!
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313651/Various-News:-TNA-Seeks-Volunteers-For-Lockdown-Fanfest,-Edge-on-The-WWE:-30-Years-of-WrestleMania,-More.htm

TNA’s recruitment for Lockdown Fanfest volunteers was revealed this week, with those volunteering receiving tickets to the event. I loved seeing this, because it’s commonplace among any type of entertainment themed convention , INCLUDING WWE Axxess! Yet the internet immediately ripped it to shreds, because a) it was TNA, and b) we’re the only ones who know less than Dave Meltzer.

There’s nothing wrong ~~with a little bump and grind~~ with TNA using volunteers. Next time you go to a Comic-Con or sports convention, look at the multitude of volunteers the money-making event is using.

Triple H Says He Invented The Elimination Chamber
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313683/Triple-H-Says-He-Invented-The-Elimination-Chamber-Match.htm

I’m not running an “IWC WTF” section this week, but if the above point wasn’t a shoo-in, this one should be! Triple H reveals that he invented the match, and the internet shits a collective brick.

“What? NO! Triple H can’t possibly be responsible for something we like!”

From “The Game” himself”

“I’m the one who invented it. I drew a square cage and put four other squares in the corners. And I said, ‘It’s six guys. Two start and every few minutes, another cage opens and one more guys enters the fight, and everyone fights until there’s one guy left.’ I thought it could be interesting because, if the Superstars involved have issues, then there’s intrigue.

In typical WWE form, it was twice as big as I envisioned it and twice as elaborate. We don’t do anything small, so I should have known better. When I stood in it for the first time, I thought, ‘Jeez. Please don’t tell anybody this was my idea!'”

Now, the criticism includes that it was Eric Bischoff (he was the storyline one), or that WWE Production pulled it off. And the latter might be true—Triple H even eluded to it himself. His description of his original drawing is in fact nothing like the current incarnation, and he himself says it was bigger and more elaborate than he even envisioned.

So, uhhh, why is this so hard to believe again?

Rey Mysterio’s deal set to expire in two months
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313764/Latest-on-Rey-Mysterio//s-Contract-Status.htm

Rey Mysterio’s deal with the WWE is expiring, y’all! Is this a big deal? Yes. To the hardcore fan, Rey isn’t a top flight WWE superstar, but to the casual observer he’s actually grown into an iconic figure. He’s always been a top merchandise seller, but the last few years of his career have been mired in injury. I actually hope Rey calls it quits after WrestleMania XXX, or Extreme Rules.

What this means for the WWE is a need to replace Rey, and fast. They already have the character in place, with Sin Cara. He’s an even bigger merchandise draw than Rey at this point, they just don’t seem to behind the man under the mask. Maybe that needs to change? Last week I pointed to Kalisto as a man who has an amazing WWE future, and a lot of that was due to the mask (and the merch that goes with it). In the mean time, you have Sin Cara. If Adrian Neville impresses at NXT Arrival, could he be a candidate for Sin Cara? Could Hunico permanently fill the role?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I imagine Rey will be under a legends contract before too long, preparing for his 2015 Hall of Fame induction.

Cesaro’s match with John Cena was quite popular backstage
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313561/Backstage-Reaction-to-Cesaros-Performance-on-Raw-Last-Night.htm

The word on the street is the Cesaro’s match with John Cena from RAW on Monday was met with tremendous praise, and Cesaro received a standing ovation in the back.

Is this true? I dunno—I wasn’t there!

What I do know is that Cesaro was given a major opportunity, and he made the most of it. I’d give him a grade of 100%, A+. I’d go so far as to predict he won over the most important man he needed to win over—John Cena—in the process.

I doubt Cesaro gets a singles match at ‘Mania. With all the part-timers rumored to appear, he might be relegated to a multi-man or multi-team match. But don’t worry—he’ll shine in the match.

Will he turn into 2014’s Dolph Ziggler? Who knows. But as of today, he isn’t that just yet.

CIMA pulled from DGUSA shows—no Japan talent advertised
Story: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/news/313925/DGUSA-News-and-Notes-on-CIMA-Missing-The-Weekend,-Lineup-Changes,-More.htm

Dragon Gate USA announced that CIMA—the only advertised Japanese talent advertised for this weekend, couldn’t make it due to a “back injury.”

Now, those quotes will get me in trouble with some people, but I have to do it. I’d call it a “bank injury,” because that’s probably more accurate.

Look, he was the only Japanese talent advertised to begin with. What’s so Dragon Gate about that?

Take a look at the Japanese talent listed for the first ever DGUSA card, titled “Open The Historic Gate:” Yamato, BxB Hulk, Dragon Kid, Masato Yoshino, CIMA, Susumu Yokosuka, Naruki Doi and Shingo.

This is a damn roster!

Take a look at the Japanese talent listed for this weekend’s DGUSA cards:
CIMA

That sucks!

Now, I’m not saying that Dragon Gate USA is a bad promotion—they aren’t. But they’re just like CZW—just another indy. There is nothing special about DGUSA anymore. I own the first show, I bought the DVD the day it came out. It’s an awesome show, and I was so excited about the potential this promotion had. Now? It’s just a Gabe Sapolsky independent promotion, not nearly as good as PWG or ROH.

Sorry—but it’s true. Have you seen the crowds or Evolve and DGUSA? They’re terrible. The shows are spotty at best, and there’s no way they’re making money. If you’re Dragon Gate proper, why send talent over anymore? There’s nothing to gain, those 100 fans aren’t new fans flocking to the internet to order your product. If they do, they were gonna do it anyway.

So this weekend’s DGUSA cards will be good—even great—especially that Johnny Gargano vs. Trent Baretta match. But they ain’t anything special.

DGUSA stopped being special a long time ago. And it’s a damned shame.

What news jumped out at you this week?

In wrestling today, there is no show quite like Raw. Giving us moments and memories that we will cherish forever, and some we’d rather not ever recall again. This space is the chance to look back in time, each week, to a Raw memory.

Time for an instant classic! (No, not Christian.) Monday saw the highest profile match of Cesaro’s career, and he made the most of it. See it again!