wrestling / Columns
The Wrestling 5 & 1 3.15.14 Eve Torres vs AJ Lee
The 5&1 lives another day! Last week may have seemed like a cop-out, but it got some responses that were very insightful and proved that we’re not all keyboard warriors with cheeto-laden fingers; we have feelings, damnit! So…RAW happened, right?! Looks like we finally got our wish, and there’s a bit of interesting irony of those who claim some are already turning on Bryan and his eventual rise to the top. We’ll be sure to talk about that a bit below, as well as the fun that is the Hall of Bang, and Eve’s first crack at making the bottom row her bitch.
Finally…
Well damn…they finally did it. They listened to the crowd, the IWC, the bum on the corner who kept screaming YES!…We’ve seen it all since Monday: those who complain that it’s taken too long, those who complain that those who complain are just complainers, and those who believe that the Yes! Movement is considered watered down simply because it’s got a name.
I remember last year writing about the Preemptive Prose, in which people are quick to jump on a high horse that’s higher than a horse they are complaining about. In other words – a higher form of hypocrisy. I can feel those words just waiting to burst out of the seams of the IWC. In an effort to quell the forthcoming vitriol that will becoming between now and Mania – and thereafter, to be honest, I want to try and appreciate just what the hell happened on RAW.
We – the entirety of the WWE Universe – got what we wanted. No, we will not sign onto the fact that the WWE had this in mind all along, because we know that simply isn’t true. But damnit, guys, we did it. We wanted Bryan in the main event and although Mania isn’t here, we have to see the writing on the wall – we are getting what we want.
Let’s admit that the beginning of this segment wasn’t all that great. I mean, did they purposefully choose the murkiest of marks to surround the ring? What an odd selection of WWE fans. One in particular was really pissing me off. Yo dude standing next to Bryan…get off your damned phone! Even with that, with the return of Stephanie McMahon’s screeching volumes, with Sandow getting punked yet again, none of it mattered because damnit, we got what we want.
Now I know there are a few readers who are already souring on the possibility of Bryan being a champ, and I know that there will be critics after Mania if our little Goat Face is the last man standing – maybe he’ll be booked like Jack Swagger, maybe he’ll have a Rey Mysterio run…who knows. But more importantly…
WHO CARES!?
From Summerslam on, we’ve been clamoring for a shot, a legit shot, at the title for Bryan. There are those who just gave up – threw their hands in the air and said Fuck it all…there are those who held onto the possibility that it would eventually come. There are those, still, who may consider what happened on RAW as too little, too late. But the writer of the 5&1 and Mountain Dew drinking, AJ loving SOB named Tony is nothing but happy at the prospect – not just at the possibility of Bryan as Champion, but at the instant credibility that is added to both the Main Event and the Mania card as a whole. Let’s face it; even if you’re tired of Bryan’s character, or the movement that has now been named, the dude can go and has put on consistently great matches for what seems like forever. So what’s better than a Mania-caliber match with Bryan in it? TWO Mania-caliber matches with Bryan in it?
If anything, this presence of Bryan in the main event and possibly walking out of Wrestlemania XXX as the Champion will be the perfect test to us IWC pundits. Will we shit on our golden boy, or revel in the jubilation of his wining ways?
Of course, none of this could matter and Triple H could just squash him like a bug…
Your Turn: Do you see yourself turning on Daniel Bryan after Mania?
And the commenter with the most “likes”??? Our very own…
Greg DeMarco: “And you call yourself the showoff?!?”
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Kane to Retire?
I’m typically not one to bash the reporting on the very site I write on, particularly because it has become my home, and even IF the “reports” can come off a bit “da-doy” in nature, they’re still meant for the primary focus of hits. Recently, however, there’s been a string of bad ones that really make me question my quick clicks. Now, I won’t Watry the column and be all snide with my “Ask Yourself” prose, but seeing one of those “no shit” posts got me thinking about the Big Red Machine Turned Suit and Tie. The story posted HERE says that Kane has begun his own insurance business as well as expressed interest in running for office – something I’m sure a lot of us saw as a viable after-wrestling niche for Kane. But it also stresses that Kane will most likely stick around as long as he’s actively able to. With that being said, this is essentially non-news – but instead of asking what we are to believe, let’s just assume it’s real and have a little chat about Kane. So, he came on the scene as Kane in 1997 at Bad Blood – we all know that.
This won’t be an Evolution Schematic of epic proportions – Sforcina already did that – but instead, a where can Kane go from here? As it stands, Kane is a tie-wearing corporate goon whose tank-top wearing antics make him look like a pedo more than anything else. His role as a McMahon lacky isn’t new, but the presentation is, and assuming he would retire in..say…two years, is this the Kane we want to see ride off into the sunset? Even if it’s not, has the mask lost its luster?
I’ve seen presentations of a Kane vs The Undertaker match where they both retire in a blaze of glory (one commenter even said the lights would go out, thunder would boom, and both men would disappear, never to be seen again. Kudos to whoever that was), and although the idea is as awesome as it is hokey, what other option would suffice? It’s unfortunate that The Undertaker has become more of a mystifying character than Kane, but it’s only because he has been made that way. Would it possible for Kane to become similar to The Undertaker?
If Kane is to retire soon, we have to believe that he’d choose a schedule that was more Taker-like than actually going full-on HBK retirement, right? He doesn’t strike me as a money-spending guy, so I don’t see why the report deems that he may be hurting, but assuming that it’s true, wouldn’t it be best if he became a literal “Legend,” with a contract that says that?
What do you guys think? If Kane goes the route of a legend, how would you expect him to do so? With his current maskless persona? With the full-on monster-heel schtick of a sick sick freak? The bald, hook-wielding maniac from his movie days?
Your Turn: How would you like to see Kane retire?
Eve is on a tear since entering the contest this past month. She’s now officially up for her own spot in the Hall of Bang! As much as I hate to do this…I have to be fair. The rules state that she is free to take on any one from the bottom row and take their spot. I randomly selected…#4. So this week, we get…EVE vs AJ LEE!!
And now…..
Voting ends Wednesday night and you can vote once every hour!
Leave the Memories Alone
Rather than pick and choose some comments to respond to, or even give a small version of each post, I just want to thank you all for the responses. We’re long time fans, and regardless if we’ve never left or i there’s always something to keep us coming back, 411mania is where we get our fix it appears and I’m glad you’re able to join me on the adventure on a weekly basis. We writers don’t always have a lot of time to thank the readers, and when we do there tends to be those troll-like figures who assume that our putting our opinion for the world to see is a free ride towards ridicule (and guys…it is). Still, there’s much to be said about having a community in which we can talk about something we all love for various reasons. So hats off to each of you, and a fat ass thank you!
Oh SoCal…you minx, you!!
Tony joined 411Mania in April 2010, and currently contributes in both music and wrestling. Tony is an avid drinker of Mountain Dew and Jack Daniels. He is a writer who hardly takes himself seriously, yet has an innate ability to create moments that are both human yet fearful in his writings.
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HALL OF FAME
Greg DeMarco is a graduate of Virginia Tech (Bachelor’s in Business Management) and Arizona State (Master’s in Higher & Post-Secondary Education). He works in online higher education. Greg started in improv comedy in 2001, making his stand-up debut in 2004.
Greg first appeared as a ring announcer for Rising Phoenix Wrestling in Phoenix Arizona in 2006 and served many promotions in both on-stage and back-stage roles for over six years, most notably Ring of Honor in 2010. He began writing for 411Mania in October 2010, founded The Greg DeMarco Show in May 2011 and opened WrestlingSmash.com (and Wrestling Smash Radio) in January 2013.
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Until next week…
