wrestling / Columns

The Wrestling 5 & 1 4.05.14: Nikki Bella vs Brie Bella

April 5, 2014 | Posted by Tony Acero

It’s Wrestlemania weekend, baybay! And if you’re going to choose one event where the jaded view of the IWC is nonexistent, it should be THIS event. We can harp about how badly the card has been built, cry about the possible burial of Bryan, kick the asses of creative for butchering the Taker/Brock storyline, and any other crap we can dump out just to say that this card is hardly what we want it to be. OR! OR! We could be fans!!! So you’re not just getting one man’s opining about the big show, I brought my mortal enemy, Michael Ornelas along for the ride to add his two cents. Let’s get into some predictions for the show, and – of course – the ladies!!

MAIN EVENT PREDICTIONS

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Randy Orton vs Batista vs Triple H or Daniel Bryan

I feel we’ve talked quite a bit about this match within this column, but what’s a few more hundred words on the main event of Wrestlemania? Last week in this very column, as well as in Fact or Fiction this week, I essentially said what I’ll say again – that we forced this to happen, and should be very happy about it. I’d ask you to Google the previous efforts, but that’s not my gimmick. The main focus on the previous posts about this match have been about Bryan and his underdog story finally coming to fruition. In fact, a lot of what I have read has focused more on Bryan and his possibilities of winning then the other participants at all. Randy Orton has been champ for a while, and with the “backing” of the Authority, he’s become somewhat of a sniveling little bitch. Perfect for a lacky of The Authority, even if it has given him the lame duck role.

Then there’s Batista, who came back to the WWE after a prolonged absence. Rumors abound that he came for a particular reason other than to pimp a movie. If the presumed idea was for him to win the Rumble and go on to Mania to take the title, the fans shat on that idea right away, and one must question how narrow the corner is that the fans backed Creative into. Are they going to pull the trigger they’ve had their finger on since the Rumble, or have we truly forced them to alter their minds entirely? I’d venture to say the latter, which is why I see Bryan not only going to the Main Event, but also winning the match.

Winner and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan

Michael Ornelas: Anything other than Daniel Bryan winning this match will not be pretty. My living room will smell of tears (mine), body odor (Tony’s), and vagina (just wanted to emphasize that a guy can make a Daniel Bryan petition and have a girlfriend — I’m living the dream) if New Orleans “Yes”-ing doesn’t close the show. Also ribs. We’re having ribs, so I expect that smell too. I don’t expect the match of the night here, but Orton and Bryan have put on some excellent encounters in the past year, so I won’t rule it out. If Batista is motivated, he can bring the goods as well. I’m excited for this one, as the moment that follows the final bell will either go down in history or infamy.
Winner: Daniel Bryan

Singles Match for Third Spot in Main Event:
Daniel Bryan vs Triple H

Another match that a lot of us seem to have the winner set in our minds, whether it be due to hope or otherwise. Again, the quality of the match hasn’t even been questioned, as instead we have focused so much on just what will happen. Is that a good or a bad thing? For my money, I don’t see this match being bad at all. Triple H is a rarity in the ring now, and when he has been in there, it hasn’t really set the world on fire. Still, he’s never been a slouch, even if only slightly above average. With Bryan in the ring, however, and the “animosity” that they’ve created between the two men, I’m looking forward to some brutality on the part of Triple H and Daniel Bryan’s Never say Die attitude to carry him over. The build for this, even if I am to stand by the fact that it was fan driven and motivated, has been pretty stellar. Triple H is aware of whose voice it was that brought Bryan to the forefront, and he’s been heelin it up for a bit now. No more sometimes cool, sometimes not attitude. He’s been doing great as a heel, and I’m excited to see, not IF Bryan wins, but how.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Michael Ornelas: If we want to talk about momentum, Daniel Bryan has it. I’m one of the nerds who went so far as to make a petition boycotting the purchase of the WWE Network until Daniel Bryan was in the title picture at WrestleMania. While it’s certainly the nerdiest thing I’ve ever done, I honestly believed it was a bone-headed move reflective of WWE’s stubbornness to snub him from the championship scene to begin with. I want to believe that the WWE played us wonderfully and that this was the plan all along, but there are too many circumstances surrounding this situation to allow me to think that way. I think they were backed into a corner and ended up with a perfect solution. Daniel Bryan has been on several shows where he was wrestling multiple matches in one night on TV since SummerSlam, so WrestleMania will be the ultimate endurance test. Everyone knows he’ll deliver the goods, and I honestly believe this will be the match of the night. If Triple H goes over though, I don’t expect the rest of the show to go on with a very happy crowd. Sunday is Bryan’s night, and I look forward to seeing what he can do with The Game.
Winner: Daniel Bryan

The Streak vs The Beast:
The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar

Over in Fact or Fiction, The Csonkameister posed the thought of this match disappointing. In an effort to not retread over what I’ve already said, let me just post it and expand on it if at all possible:

I honestly feel that the match will be relatively bad, considering Brock is now nothing more than a brawler and Taker is getting up there with age. I don’t know how well he can hold up, because I don’t have any actual evidence that the years of Taker barely being held together is a true statement. For all we know, he could be as healthy as ever, and only LOOKS old because he’s…old. If that’s the case, then maybe he still can go, but this match may very well be slower than we’re used to and is definitely (no matter what) a drop in quality from the past five years that The Undertaker’s matches have brought. Even with that being said, there’s the intrigue of The Undertaker match, and I think if we lower our expectations realistically, we’ll still come out of this pleased and excited. I know I will.

Can’t say I’ve changed my mind much since when this was written, although I have to add the fact that the spectacle of The Undertaker match come Mania will be more than present, and if there’s one thing we know about The Undertaker, he’s not JUST sizzle. Brock Lesnar isn’t HBK or CM Punk, but one has to believe that there’s something between he and Taker enough to make a watchable match. In the end, I don’t think it will be a debacle by any means, but the days of a blood-faced Brock screaming at a caged Taker are gone, so we’re really going to have to stretch the bounds of expectations a bit more than regular if we want to get through this match without any frowns.
Winner: The Undertaker

Michael Ornelas: I seem to be in the minority who actually thinks that Brock Lesnar’s name is credible enough to feel like a threat to the streak. Obviously he’s not winning, but I’m excited about the match and the story they’ll tell because Brock has an aura about him that’s just absolutely monstrous. I don’t think WWE has done much to perpetuate that idea in the build to this match, but they haven’t detracted from it as some have said. And Heyman is just the perfect mouthpiece, and I look forward to his inevitable promo on the biggest stage of the year. To me, this has the big match feeling to it, and I’m a sucker for Streak matches.
Winner: The Undertaker

Legacy on the Line:
JOHN CENA VS BRAY WYATT

A compelling story? Check. A great character? Check. The “perfect” face? Check. Make no mistake about it, this match isn’t about a legacy that’s been going strong – oh no, this is about a legacy that has yet to begin. Wyatt has struck gold here, and he’s so good. There have been a few that claim they don’t understand the promos; that it’s a bunch of strung together clichés, but I have to strongly disagree. Yes, there are times where he plucks and pulls from the annals of pop culture’s crazies, but is there really something wrong with that? Moreover, the allusions all make sense on one level or another. As for the match, and everything that’s riding on it; I’d assume there is only and was only ever one winner in mind, but if done right (and they will do it right), Bray Wyatt will lose the battle but not the war. I hope this character has many years left in him, and this is just the beginning.

Winner: John Cena

Michael Ornelas:This match has me very intrigued because a lot of people seem to think a John Cena victory is a foregone conclusion. While I don’t think it’s a given that Bray will win, I think that it’s more important to make new stars at WrestleMania than it is to put the good guy over. Bray has been on an absolute tear since the Rumble, and I’d love for him to continue his momentum with a WrestleMania victory over the poster child of WWE. I’m up in the air about it, but I’m sticking to my guns, because when Taker’s gone, I think Bray will transition into the role of biggest gimmick in WWE, and this would establish him as a huge deal.

Winner: Bray Wyatt

Your Turn: Who’s winning in the big four matches??

Yes! Yes! Yes! Facebook page, I posted this pic for all to comment on…

And the commenter with the most “likes”???

Jamie Lyons: Does this count towards my Make A Wish total?”

Think you have what it takes to win the Caption Contest? Head on over to the Yes! Yes! Yes! Facebook group and join today to see what Tony, myself and the gang post next!

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MIDCARD MADNESS

Andre the Giant Memorial 30-Man Battle Royal, Brother:
A Buncha Mufuckas

This will either big really fun, or really boring – possibly a mixture of both. They’ve removed intrigue in terms of order, which means it will essentially be a big mess until the final five member or so. Once these five men are alone in the ring, we may be able to get something special out of it. I could assume they will be The Big Show, Sheamus, Del Rio, Dolph and….let’s say Big E. As for a winner, I really don’t know. Like I said in Fact or Fiction, this could help someone drastically, or it could just be a spectacle for the Wrestlemania moment, and that’s it. I’d hope they would use it as a tool more than anything else, and give it to someone who could brag about it…speaking of bragging, who in this list is the best at it? Oh yeah, Dolph F’n ZIggler. I’m gonna go ahead and give it to him.

Winner: Dolph ZIggler

Michael Ornelas: So while this is basically a Royal Rumble minus star power and a number-drawing advantage, I’m not at all bothered by its inclusion in the card because I actually like seeing the big multi-man matches that only really serve to cram everyone on the card because everyone works hard in WWE, and some of the most talented faces simply don’t have Creative in their corner. After combing through the announced participants, it seems like the only possible winners are The Big Show, Sheamus, Mark Henry, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Big E, Ziggler, Mysterio, Titus O’Neil, and Alberto Del Rio. I’ll cut out Ziggler and Mysterio as it wouldn’t really make sense for guys that small to win. I’m leaning towards The Big Show because he deserves a big moment at Mania, but my secondaries are Sheamus or Big E. But I’d feel good about The Big Show winning.
Winner: The Big Show

Vickie Guerrero’s Divas Invitational:
AJ Lee vs No Names

I can’t see any positive out of this other than seeing all the ladies at once and getting them some money that they wouldn’t get otherwise. Still, a ONE FALL match with a bunch of ladies just screams “MESS.” I can hear drunkards yelling “BOTCH” already. I won’t really care so long as my fiancé AJ Lee stands tall at the end, even if afterwards, an NXT starlet comes to the top of the stage to point or do some other theatric signing she’s here.

Winner: AJ Lee

Michael Ornelas: I’m not expecting anything better than when they did this at WrestleMania 25, but who knows. The ladies really have been trying their hardest to maximize their minutes over the past six months, and I’ve seen a general trend of improvement. I’m torn on whether or not I think AJ will walk away with the Divas Championship, but for the sake of being creative, I’ll say that it comes down to AJ and Tamina, and AJ somehow comes away with the victory while Tamina cements a face turn (that feels reminiscent of Batista in 2005) before chasing AJ and finally winning the title over the next couple months.
Winner: AJ Lee

Six Man Tag Team Match:
The Shield vs Kane and The New Age Outlaws

There is absolutely no reason why The Shield shouldn’t this match. There is also absolutely no reason why The Shield should break up during or after this match. While it may have seemed like a viable idea a few months ago, the face turn has refreshed these guys and I can see so much more being done with them before the inevitable combustion. A lot of people gave some shit to the New Age Outlaws due to their return that no one really asked for, but I can’t say that they’ve hurt anything really. They’ve been fun, and have made sense in terms of storyline. This has all culminated in a six man, which is The Shield’s bread and butta. I’m hoping for a hell of a match, and I think it’s what we’ll get.

Winners: The Shield

Michael Ornelas: This has been a good little midcard story that has served to facilitate the face turn of The Shield, and I don’t think the match will be half bad. I am praying that WWE doesn’t have The Shield break up as a lot of people are saying, and rather have them stick together as allies while still pursuing their individual interests. That’s not an original thought of mine, but I’m firmly in the camp that supports that idea. I don’t see a point in having The Shield lose here either.
Winner: The Shield

Fatal Four Way Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs Los Matadores vs The Real Americans vs Ryback and Curtis Axel

Relegating this match to the Pre-Show does nothing against it, since – honestly – there’s nothing really to hurt. The Usos will most likely retain and get a big moment at Mania, while The Real Americans feel a bit flustered and possibly break up, allowing Cesaro to grow. Los Matadores simply don’t matter, and Ryback and Curtis Axel could both leave and never come back, and I wouldn’t care in the slightest. Expect the Usos to retain and give an exciting performance with some high flying from the Bull Guys, and some bad assery from Cesaro.

Winners: The Usos

Michael Ornelas: The Usos deserve a nice run with the straps given just how good they’ve been performing. Rybaxel doesn’t really have any upside, and Los Matadores have failed to captivate crowds. The Real Americans should have held the belts last year, but they’re on their way towards a break-up, so a victory here wouldn’t exactly serve them. I say Jimmy & Jey retain.

Winners: The Usos

Your Turn: How do you feel about the second half of the card?

Summer unfortunately only lasted one week in Versus, as the hotter of the Bella Twins took her down just barely! Brie won by 30 votes total, which is one of the closest battles we’ve seen in some time! It’s Brie’s turn to see if she could get into the famed Hall of Bang, and her round two opponent…..NIKKI!!

And now…..

Voting ends Wednesday night and you can vote once every hour!


Leave the Memories Alone
Yo! Let’s start with most recent comment of Franke Sisto who had forgotten just how hot Brie is. I’ve known a couple sets of twins in my lifetime, and admittedly, there is almost always one that is hotter than the other for various reasons. Whether it’s simply because Brie appears more likeable, or because she’s got tats near her holy grail, there’s something about the less endowed Bella. CDN mentions the fact that Taker and Brock have quite the storied history, and although I agree with the fact that Heyman could have brought it up at least once or twice, I do not think showing footage of Taker outside of his Deadman realm is a way the WWE ever wants to go. They go to great lengths to protect the charcter, and I don’t see them altering that for a one-off with Brock. dp gives Brock a bit more credit than I did and do in terms of his performance come Mania. I’m hoping for the best, but I do think it will be clunky and uninspired. As for your Dusty finish, yes I do find it to be a bit much. Frank is all about removing heads from bodies while Wyatt thinks this is a horrible Versus…come now, you know what the ladies look like!

Erh’s idea would be creepily cool and so bad ass, but I’m not sure they’ll go that route. SS87 is back again with a comparison of the Versus to the NBA. Oh SS, you slay me. We’ve come a long way, sir…Randy Marh finds the Wyatt/Cena match to be the best built, and I can’t say that I blame him. Damien Wyatt wishes Scott all the best in his bowel movements, and that’s really what’s important. Anthony Tate is upset that Kelly Kelly didn’t win last night, but when I met her in Vegas, I asked how important the win was, and she had no idea who I was…

Let’s hope the damage isn’t permanent…

Tony Acero is currently a student at Cal State University of Long Beach. He is double-majoring as a Creative Writing and Literature major. His first book, Through The Looking Glass, was published in April, 2012. School’s Out is a short story that found the author arrested due to the severity of its content. Both can be found on amazon.com.

Tony joined 411Mania in April 2010, and currently contributes in both music and wrestling. Tony is an avid drinker of Mountain Dew and Jack Daniels. He is a writer who hardly takes himself seriously, yet has an innate ability to create moments that are both human yet fearful in his writings.

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HALL OF FAME
Greg DeMarco is a graduate of Virginia Tech (Bachelor’s in Business Management) and Arizona State (Master’s in Higher & Post-Secondary Education). He works in online higher education. Greg started in improv comedy in 2001, making his stand-up debut in 2004.

Greg first appeared as a ring announcer for Rising Phoenix Wrestling in Phoenix Arizona in 2006 and served many promotions in both on-stage and back-stage roles for over six years, most notably Ring of Honor in 2010. He began writing for 411Mania in October 2010, founded The Greg DeMarco Show in May 2011 and opened WrestlingSmash.com (and Wrestling Smash Radio) in January 2013.

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Until next week…

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