MeeThinks 01.03.06: 2005 in Review The RAW Edition
Posted by John Meehan on 01.03.2006
Looking to 2006 and wrapping on the year that was (Part I of III)
"Methinks I am a prophet new inspired!"
- John of Gaunt, King Richard II
Act II, scene I
Merry Christmas, y'all. And a happy Hanukkah to Bill Goldberg, Raven and all of the other readers from the twelve tribes of Israel, as well! Welcome back to the most positive wrestling column in the IWC, now fortified with holiday goodness!
(Speaking of holidays, have you stopped by the Movies Zone yet to check out my review of The Muppet Christmas Carol DVD? Sure, Christmas will have come and gone by the time you'll read this column but dang it, Christmas movies are TOTALLY still watchable till New Years!)
Ok then here's what's on tap for this week (and for the next two weeks too, since I'm clever like that):
Due to the "holiday" break (wait, this is my column, right?) err, I mean CHRISTMAS break (hey, I work for a Catholic school lay off, yes?), I'm enjoying this week (as we speak) with the Meehan Clan up in snowy (and suburban) New Jersey.
BUT
Since the rents no longer have any kids at home, Mom & Dad only rock the dial-up connection which, to an IWC fanboy, is DEATH!
So
I'm penning THIS WEEK's column and NEXT WEEK's column all in one fell swoop (You'll see why in a second). Same theme for both, and reader feedback in this one, but (sad face) no reader feedback next week (since I'll be away from my inbox for 10 days). Don't worry, though I've got lots of good stuff in store for this double-dose of positivity, and (with any luck) I can load up the January 10 "comeback" column (same theme, different topic will explain in a sec) with all of the reader feedback I can fit!
Sound like a plan?
Rock and roll.
"So John, what exactly is this theme' that you're trying to milk into THREE column's worth of mileage," you ask?
Why it's the First Annual MeeThinks Year-End Wrap-up and Predictions, of course! Where (deep breath) I sit back, relax, and attempt to give a kindhearted evaluation, an optimistic outlook, and a few helpful pointers to each of the major players on each of sports entertainment's three major "brands" rosters.
This week, it's RAW's turn. Next week (for New Years) is Smackdown!, and the January 10 "comeback column" (complete with y'all's reactions and reader feedback to these next two installments) will be TNA's turn.
Ok then, let's get to it!
MeeThinks: 2005 in Review The RAW Edition Looking to 2006 and wrapping on the year that was (Part I of III)
Our Story So Far
RAW had an up-and-down year. Jumping from Spike TV and back "home" to the USA Network, the "red brand" of WWE has remained the company's flagship broadcast. Their "Homecoming" show felt like a miniature pay-per-view, and in December, RAW boldly went where it had never gone before and ventured behind enemy lines (no, not TNA) by filming a "Tribute to the Troops" special from the Bagram Air Force Base in Afghanistan a WWE holiday tradition that had previously been exclusive to the Smackdown! brand.
In terms of talent (we'll get into that more in a second) RAW "won some" and "lost some" in this year's WWE Draft sacrificing (no pun intended) Mohammad Hassan, Khosrow Daivari, Chris Beniot, Christian, Randy Orton and World Champion Dave Batista (among others) over to Smackdown! in return for Kurt Angle, The Big Show, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Rob Van Dam and WWE Champion John Cena (plus a few more).
As far as "key losses" go
This year saw the departure of:
General Manager Eric Bischoff kayfabe "firing"
Chris Jericho kayfabe "firing"
Jim Ross kayfabe "firing"
Tajiri released (upon request)
and a whole slew of lower-to-midcard talent (Maven, Kenzo Suzuki, etc.) to boot.
And the "key acquisitions" (who came from out of nowhere or from a long sabbatical for one reason or another):
Joey Styles brought in as the new "Voice of Raw"
Hulk Hogan redebuted at WrestleMania, and for a brief stint through SummerSlam
Steve Austin redebuted at Homecoming and made some waves around the JR firing angle
Stephanie McMahon redebuted at Homecoming after being "fired" some time ago
Shane McMahon redebuted at Homecoming & teased a run as on-screen GM
Linda McMahon became a semi-regular character after Homecoming & the Jim Ross firing
Vince McMahon has pretty much returned as a regular character on a weekly basis
Goldust Brought in for a one-off feud to help the Coach against a no-show Steve Austin
Vader Ditto, just add "and tumbled to the ground while leaving the ring"
Jake Roberts Brought in for a one-off segment to help put over Randy Orton
and a whole slew of WWE "legends", when needed (Koko B. Ware, Tatanka, etc.).
Still, the "new blood" served RAW well, and fans were treated to never-before-seen rivalries between Cena and Chris Jericho, Cena & Eric Bischoff, Cena and Christian (briefly), and an extended main-event-level program between Cena and fellow Smackdown! import Kurt Angle. The Big Show got a chance to "step up" his game against Triple H, and Daivari (who would later re-join RAW) wound up finding a niche in the antagonist role alongside a mean-streak-driven Kurt Angle.
Finally RAW's PPV showings and top-level feuds of 2005:
Dave Batista leaving Evolution was a HUGE storyline that totally dominated the opening months of 2005. While the two former teammates eventual showdown at WrestleMania 22 definitely left something to be desired, their subsequent showdown in a Hell in a Cell at Vengeance was one of the best HiaC's in WWE history. Cena's jump to RAW at the start of the summer totally kick-started the red brand, and his programs with Bischoff, Jericho and Angle were each passable-to- good for what they were. Hogan vs. Michaels at Summerslam was one for the ages (and I got to see it live!), and the addition of Kurt Angle to the RAW roster has allowed fans to enjoy a number of post-WrestleMania showdowns between the Olympic gold medalists and the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels.
And with that, we're pretty much caught up to speed on the "year that was" in the red brand of WWE. Sure, they lost the Survivor Series match in November, but we'll talk more about that one in next week's Smackdown column.
In the meantime, let's get right to it with the individual analyses, deal?
MeeThinks?
They say "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Well MeeThinks this is as a perfect time as any to take that challenge and say something nice about EVERYBODY (well, almost everybody) on the RAW roster.
We'll start with the one-liners on the "dearly departed" who've yet to show up elsewhere as of this writing (as those superstars will be profiled in their new home-brand, accordingly), and we'll work our way through the remainder of the roster in logical groupings, deal?
Cool. Let's do this
The "Old Guard" (no longer appearing on the RAW brand or WWE television in general)
Jim Ross Was, for a long while, the best play-by-play man in the industry. He will be fondly remembered, but he had slipped in recent years (mis-calling moves, misidentifying regular characters, etc.), and his "retirement" from an on-screen role was probably long overdue. Rumored to be involved in a limited role behind the scenes, but it looks like his days in the RAW announce booth are through. Best of luck to you, JR. Enjoy retirement.
Eric Bischoff probably the BEST onscreen authority figure since Vince McMahon. Still, a four-year-stint as RAW's GM had begun to run it s course, and the red brand was left teetering perilously close to a cheap rehash of "Austin/McMahon" with Bischoff/Cena. Let the guy take some time off camera to "freshen up" his character and I ASSURE you Bisch will be "back and better than ever," to borrow a line.
Chris Jericho looking to "recharge" his batteries after a 5-year stint with the E (and another decade or so of experience in other promotions before that). Not injured or overexposed by any means, just needs some time off to rediscover his passion for the business. One of the best "starmaker" heels the wrestling business has ever seen so don't worry. Give it time, and he'll be back.
Tajiri They say that "it's better to burn out than fade away." Sadly, the Japanese Buzz Saw had little chance to do either, as he saw limited success in his tenure with WWE (save a stint with Eddie Guerrero and a few one-off runs at secondary titles). Once his pal Eddie passed away, word is that the guy's heart just wasn't in the business anymore, so he asked to be let go so that he could head home to Japan and spend more time with his family. Best of luck to the guy for walking away when he felt his priorities were getting out of line.
The Rest of the Releases You'll have to scour next week's Smackdown! summary and the 1/10 TNA tally in order to catch MeeThinks on those performers that have since landed in other venues, but I will go on record as saying that the rest of those released (like Maven, Kenzo, etc.) weren't really doing all that much over on RAW anyhow and if they were just going to be strung along by a company that had no direction for them and no plans to showcase their skills in the immediate future, it's probably not the worst thing in the world that they were let go. Good luck to each of them, though.
"The New Blood" (Those folks new or re-imported to the RAW brand this year)
Joey Styles The departure of Jim Ross left the RAW announce booth with some pretty big shoes (headphones?) to fill, but Styles has stepped up his game and really shone as the heir apparent to JR's announcing throne. Great to see new blood succeeding, and great to see Joey finally exposed to a national audience. I see no reason why he won't do do well in 2006.
Hulk Hogan I mentioned it in passing last column, but for the record: HULK HOGAN BASHING WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Ego-driven? Sure. Old and run-down? Yeah but DAMN the guy can still work a crowd like nobody's business. I had the privilege of seeing him LIVE against HBK at SummerSlam, and I'll swear to it that I've never heard a crowd pop like that in my lifetime (and I was at WrestleMania XX!). Looking forward to his rumored WrestleMania match against Austin which he probably could afford to lose. But then again, Austin's just as part-time (and political) as Hogan, so either way, should be a fun match to watch just the same (hardly a technical classic, but definitely one "for the ages" in terms of star-power, at least).
Steve Austin Ahh, Stone Cold how the mighty have fallen. On one hand, I want to give Austin a "thumbs up" for 2005 simply for his nostalgic involvement with the WWE Homecoming special, but on the other hand I can't help but fault him for walking away once the decision was made to job him out cleanly to The Coach. Sure, a former world champion like Austin has NO business dropping a loss in a gimmick match to a non-wrestler like Coach, but on the other hand a seasoned pro like Austin should know enough about the business to agree to the terms of his return prior to getting fans' hopes up and showing up on their TVs only to walk away (once again) when he doesn't agree with the decisions of how he's being booked. 2005 was a "push" for Austin (with a slight "thumbs leaning down" footnote), so here's hoping he can come to mutually-agreeable terms with Hogan and Vinny Mac in short order to deliver one last WrestleMania match for the ages.
Stephanie McMahon Remember all of that nice stuff I said about Trips last week? It goes ditto for the Billion-Dollar-Princess. Sure, she's proven out-of-touch and off-base with the fanbase and the product from time to time, but as an on-screen character she's one of very few women who can actually rile a crowd into a legit-heat frenzy without resorting to cheap T&A tactics. As long as she's used in on-air moderation for the next year, I have no problem with seeing Steph back on WWE TV from time to time.
Shane McMahon Probably my favorite McMahon, and the best "babyface" of the family. Knows how to put a feud over and does an incredible job of making believable "contenders" out of his opponents (see: Kane, Test, even Steve Blackman!). Also knows "when to say when" and retreat from the spotlight before the point of oversaturation. Here's hoping we get a few more spoonfuls of Shane-o in the year to come!
Linda McMahon The "McMahon family heel turn" was an "ok" idea in theory, but a categorically BAD idea in execution thanks to Linda's relative stiffness in front of the camera. I liked Linda as the rarely-seen, "Deus est Machina" voice of reason to help reign in her philandering hubby and power-hungry kids, so here's hoping she can revert back to this role that better suits her in 2006. MeeThinks she will.
Vince McMahon Remember when Vinny Mac was (pretty much) exclusive to Smackdown? Remember that abysmal "Mr. America" feud? Remember how lame it all seemed? But flash forward to 2005, and we've got a re-enlivened VKM with a newfound pop in his comedic bits (his one-liners and facial expressions in the Bischoff trial were GOLD) and a freshly-rediscovered swagger in his power walk (Torn quads? No problem!). When he's "on," Vince is "ON" and there's nobody in the business who can work a crowd to his liking like Vince McMahon. Here's hoping he can take his time, rediscover his passion for the writing aspect of the business, and make 2006 a year filled with more "hits" than "misses."
Goldust, Vader, Jake Roberts, Tatanka, and the "Legends" Always good to see that WWE hasn't forgotten about their illustrious alumni, so here's hoping we get more "one-off" programs with legends (where appropriate) in 2006. Doink's little stint with Conway & Eugene made for some good times, and I'd bet that a quick dusting off of George the Animal Steele (he's still alive, right?), Bruce Pritchard's "Brother Love," or Dusty's polka dots could do much the same for a one-night-only sort of thing. After all, Sarge can't be the only "legend" trotted out to job to the new guys, right?
Speaking of "new" guys
"The Rookies" (Those home-grown guys who are new or "newly repackaged" on the RAW roster this year)
Matt Striker One part Dean Douglas smarminess, one part Simon Dean cheap heat, Matt Striker ended 2005 as one of the most irksome and entertaining heels on the RAW roster. Does the gimmick have legs? Only time will tell (admittedly a face turn would be a VERY tricky thing for the guy to pull off). But one thing that's for certain is that Your Teacher is a sure-fire cheap-heat heel with the fans for now at least.
Chavo Guerrero The "biggest" non-draftee acquisition of the 2005 Draft Lottery, in my opinion. The Kerwin White gimmick was money until they watered him down into a goofy retread of Barry Darsow's evil golfer gimmick, but outside circumstances (read: Eddie's untimely passing) euthanized that angle before it could do poor Chavo any more harm. Here's hoping that Chavo can establish an identity for himself that transcends the "Eddie's Nephew" moniker that's saddled him for so much of his career. Not an easy task, for sure but if he can, 2006 might just be the year that Chavo proves to be wrestling's answer to Steve Young.
Chris Masters Say what you will about this guy, but he's most definitely made an impact in his first full year in the RAW spotlight. From jobber-a-day Masterlock challenges to semi-main-eventing against HBK (in a match that honestly wasn't all that bad, ya know), Masters is young enough (and unique enough) to make a dent in the industry if he's willing to learn the basics. Was a star in the minors who might have been rushed into the limelight before his time, but he's done a fair job thus far, and with luck and some serious ring-time The Masterpiece could prove to be a solid main-eventer for years to come.
Trevor Murdoch Who in their right mind would have pegged this guy to be the "breakout star" of the Cade/Murdoch tandem? With a face that only a mother could love and a physique that's a throwback to another era (see: Race, Harley), Murdoch most definitely has his work cut out for him in 2006 if he wants to secure a spot in the WWE midcard, but with his "Larry the Cable Guy"-esque crossover appeal and, yes, "charm" Murdoch might just prove to be RAW's dark horse fan favorite 2006.
Lance Cade Had the look, the swagger and the beginnings of the in-ring-tools that led many IWC know-it-alls to peg him as the next coming of Shawn Michaels, but a lackluster (and brief) run in the tag ranks has left this "Southern Gentleman" with nothing but a foolish-looking pair of ring tights to show for all of that hype. Definitely needs to show something "special" and step it up in 2006 (with this gimmick or any other one, for that matter), or Mr. Cade might just find himself in TNA or the unemployment line by 2007. "Billy Gunn Version 2.0?" Don't say I didn't warn you.
Rob Conway Gotta hand Jim Johnson and the folks over at WWE's music studios credit for at least TRYING something different with the "Just Look at Me" theme. Sadly, Conway's character has proven to be less "Conman" and MORE "Poor Man's Legend Killer." While Randy Orton was out feuding with Mick Foley and the Undertaker, the so-called "Conman" has been out besting such "legends" as Koko B. Ware and Doink the Clown, leading fans to believe that the only ones being conned in this whole scenario were THEM. A solid in-ring competitor who'd be well-served to transcend his ridiculously burdensome gimmick, and soon.
The Heartthrobs Unfortunately, these two have been one of the least impressive tag teams in recent memory (and, with the state of North American tag-team wrestling being what it is, that's saying something!). Cult-like stars on the indy scene, the thoroughly entertaining Romeo & Antonio most definitely need more (ahem) "exposure" from the WWE brass if they're ever going to get over on the national stage. Otherwise it's bye-bye time for the gimmick (cause you know Vince owns the rights to that) and "hello" to two new nondescript jobbers in the WWE undercard (or feeder programs). I hope I'm mistaken, but look for one (or both) of these guys to be dropped from the RAW roster by year's end.
Gregory Helms "The Hurricane" was incredibly popular with younger fans and insanely marketable to a broad audience. But (calling a spade a spade here) the gimmick had most definitely run its course, and Helms' upward mobility within WWE probably suffered in the long-run because of the fact that he stayed with it for as long as he did. In all honesty, I just don't see "Gregory Helms" getting over on his own merits in WWE (which is a shame), but I think TNA would be a great fit for a guy like him with a remarkable moveset and a unique array of maneuvers that WWE simply won't let him showcase for fear of overshadowing their "main eventers." Here's hoping we'll see Gregory Helms: X-Division Champion by 2007!
Mickie James The Trish/Mickie storyline has been a bright spot on RAW for the better part of the fall and winter of 2005, and fans are more than ready to see what this new diva can do on her own against her mentor. True, her attacks seem to come in slow motion at times, but Mickie has proven willing to learn and eager to improve on a daily basis. Working alongside a master like Trish Stratus can only help this up-and-comer make a dent in the WWE's women's division that consists of more than just "another dime-a-dozen-diva." Though they might have booked themselves into a corner on this one, WWE would be very well-served to capitalize on the "newness" of Mickie's appeal and make TRISH the heel in this whole feud, if possible. 2006 should be interesting to see if Mickie can cut it on her own!
Ashley Massaro I'm not a big fan of the Diva Search, actually (one of the few "negative" comments you'll ever hear from Mee), but Ashley definitely seems to have her heart in the right place when it comes to the wrestling business. A unique look and a willingness to learn can go a long way in this age of dime-a-dozen-divas, so brava to Ms. Massaro for stepping up and running with the old pros like Trish and Victoria when duty called. I don' really expect too too much from this diva in 2006, but she would be well-served to master the basics (read: WRESTLING!) of her new trade so that we can reevaluate her progress next year and come out of it expecting big things from her in 2007.
Maria Kanellis More than just a Diva Search castaway, Maria has really found her niche as the "Jessica Simpson" stand-in for RAW's backstage interviews and vignettes. Willing to take a bump (see: Angle, Kurt) and happy to make a performer look like a star at her oblivious expense (see: Cena, John), Maria has done a tremendous job of working the "dumb blonde" (who really isn't dumb or even blonde, for that matter) angle to a "t." Here's hoping the E doesn't push the abort button on her character when they inevitably decide to turn John Cena heel, as a heel Cena would still benefit greatly from having Maria there with him backstage; oblivious as ever and unintentionally willing to make herself the butt of his freestyles.
Moving on to the "other" new faces of RAW
"The Imports" (Those performers new to RAW from Smackdown via the Draft Lottery)
John Cena I've defended The Doctor of Thuganomics in more detail before, but I will once again go on record and praise the guy for his tremendous work ethic and marketability in the year that was 2005. A mainstream media crossover golden boy that WWE has been dying for since the Rock left for Hollywood, Cena has "WWE torchbearer" written all over him. Look for Da Champ to take a much-needed break from the title scene and make a heel-turn that will really do wonders to help Cena rediscover his much-needed "edge" (while brushing up on his moveset) in 2006, and you've got yourself a solid main-eventer-on-call for 2007 and many years to come.
Kurt Angle 2005 was an up-and-down year for YOUR Olympic Hero. On the plus side, he's rediscovered his "mean streak," delivered an outstanding series of contests against HBK, and found him self firmly enmeshed in the WWE title hunt after a long sabbatical. But on the "down" side of things, Angle will have left 2005 divorced and one year closer to retirement without another WWE Championship reign to show for it. WWE would be smart to stop going the "cheap heat" route with Angle and just let the fans boo or cheer him at will instead, but MeeThinks that one ain't gonna happen so long as Kurt is squaring off against the E's "golden boy" du-jour, John Cena. Here's hoping Kurt emerges from the foolhardy Daivari storyline and the hackneyed Cena feud in short order, and with the fan support that he so obviously deserves still intact before it's too late.
Rob Van Dam Yup, he was "drafted" to RAW in 2005 too (though you wouldn't know it, due to his "killer knee injury, dude.") Funny (sad?) how RVD always seems to go down with an injury just when his career prospects look to be on the upswing, no? But injuries or no, RVD was instrumental in the success of the AWESOME ECW PPV, and his work behind the scenes in lighting a fire under the ECW alums most definitely put more than a few dollars in Vinny Mac's pockets. As such, look for RVD to be rewarded with a shot of a lifetime and the chance to establish himself as a main-eventer in the year to come. A capable and "high"ly entertaining performer who's been on the verge of breaking through that "glass ceiling" for almost a decade now, iIf there ever was to be a "breakout" year for RVD, 2006 most definitely will have to be it.
Carlito Dropped the "Caribbean Cool," the "Cabana," and the IC strap in 2005, but definitely came out ahead of the game by year's end, finding himself in the running for a shot at the WWE Championship and right there alongside of Cena and Triple H at the forefront of WWE's media blitz of the USA Network. Carlito's in-ring arsenal is still pretty limited, but the guy has definitely stepped up his in-ring selling and on-screen chemistry in the year that was. Dropping the Cabana might not have been the best of moves for a guy that was so naturally charismatic on the mic like Carlito, but time away from the promos will definitely allow him some room to diversify his arsenal and improve his in-ring abilities in 2006. No WWE Championships for Carlito just yet, MeeThinks but if he keeps it up on the mic and learns a thing or two (or ten) in the ring, then 2007 could well be Carlito's year. And DAT (you know the rest)
The Big Show 2005 could well be called the "Year of the Big Show." Not necessarily because he's been the "wrestler of the year" or even anywhere near a "feud of the year" contender (Snitsky? Puh-lease!), but simply because 2005 was the year that people actually started caring about The Big Show once again! Years of sloppy booking and mismanaged feuds (jobbing to JEFF HARDY, people!) left TBS all but forgotten over in the Smackdown Midcard, but a smart reshuffling in the 2005 Draft has definitely made Show the "crown jewel" of this year's lottery. With a Triple H mini-program and the inevitable showdown against Kane in the works, here's hoping Show can continue that dominant momentum in 2006!
Daivari I was going to leave mention of Daivari to next week's column (since he WAS traded to Smackdown! and all), but since our favorite Farsi-spittin'-sidekick redebuted on the RAW brand by year's end, it's only fair that his name gets mentioned in this rundown instead. 2005 was a tough year for Daivari (and an even TOUGHER one for Hassan, when you think about it more on him next week!), but it looks like Khosrow (Sean?) has made the jump back to RAW with his reputation (and his health thank Allah!) remarkably unscathed from when the Taker last saw him. I don't really see his on-screen alliance with Angle lasting quite that long, but given Vinny Mac's penchant for "token foreigner heels" and the recent Holocaust remarks by the leader of Iran, I have a feeling that Daivari can rest assured that his job with WWE is safe for another year at the very least.
Torrie Wilson Traded to RAW along with Candice Michelle in return for Stacy Keibler and Christy Hemme to Smackdown! Sadly, Torrie has fallen off to a marked degree, and her physical appearance has actually become almost as troublesome to watch as her acting ability and ring-work. Somebody PLEASE buy this poor woman a sangwich before she goes all Karen Carpenter on us. Torrie please take care of yourself and don't feel the need to trim pounds in order to keep up with WWE's revolving door of divas otherwise Torrie might find herself unemployed (or worse :-() by the end of 2006.
Candice Michelle If there were an "all star" to be named in the 2005 Draft's "diva swap," Candice would undoubtedly earn that honor. Stacy Keibler? Off "Dancing With the Stars." Torrie Wilson? Looking sicker by the day. Christy Hemme? Released by year's end. Yet Candice "Go Daddy" dance and all is still making weekly appearances on RAW, soon-to-be gracing the pages of Playboy, and rocking the modified Tarantula (with a fair share of butt-cleavage to boot). Her willingness to play the "slut" card and her upcoming appearance in Playboy magazine is going to guarantee her a job with the E for at least a few months longer. (note: it should be noted that MOST WWE Divas save Torrie Wilson who grace the pages of Playboy magazine tend to be gone from the company within a year).
And now to those "familiar faces" of the red brand
"The Old Guard" (The rest of the RAW main event picture who've been with the brand for more than a year's time)
Triple H The Game played it smart in 2005 by building a MONSTER in his feud against Big Dave only to step away from the limelight and let his body (and mind) heal up while his character "freshened up." True, Triple H came back looking a bit "beefier" than before, but if all of those rumors of "supplements" and substance abuse are true an "off-cycle" stint couldn't do much but help Hunter's body rest up after all of those years of looking just so darn jacked. Since returning, Trips has delivered two solid programs (as of press time) squaring off against Ric Flair through the autumn months and kickstarting a feud with The Big Show that (gasp) has actually gotten people to CARE about the 7-foot-giant once again. Lots of respect from this writer and a number of like-minded fans for having backed off of the "It's all about The Game" politicking to allow things (for the time being, at least) to be "all about the Company." That said, he's a quality heel and a perpetual threat to any Champion. I'd be very surprised if Trips didn't wind up with the gold at LEAST once in the next year
Shawn Michaels Undeniably the "Most Valuable Player" on the RAW roster in 2005. As if two stellar matches against Kurt Angle and one outstanding program against Hulk Hogan wasn't enough, HBK helped to light a fire under Shelton Benjamin and provided a believable "face-in-peril" to help cement the Masterlock as a credible finisher. Michaels continues to deliver some of his best work even this late in his career, and all signs indicate that 2006 should be no different. With an extended program brewing against Shelton (and maybe even Carlito) on the horizon, MeeThinks wrestling fans should just sit back and enjoy the ride while the Heartbreak Kid continues to amaze us all.
Kane What a year 2005 was for Kane, eh? From Matt Hardy surrogate to tag-team champion, the Big Red Machine has been all over the map in the past 365 days. Was 2005 a "forward" step in his character's overall progression? I'd lean towards "yes," as he delivered the best performance possible (given the circumstances) against Edge in what was his first extended feud since, what, Shane McMahon? Plus he left 2005 with as one half of the tag team champions (as part of an AWESOME and believable tandem with The Big Show), so Kane earns a solid "thumbs up" from Mee. That said, without a serious character overhaul (e.g. "Kurt Angle finds his inner mean streak"), Kane might just be stuck at that "jobber to the stars" plateau for 2006.
Shelton Benjamin Though Shelton Benjamin will probably be dogged by a bevy of net pundits for being the "Underachiever of 2005," I'd like to think that old Shelton is just finding his niche in the WWE main event picture. Rather than rush-job him to the top (like they did with Rocky Maivia), WWE is shrewdly keeping Shel firmly in the midcard until they find a legitimate feud or angle to propel him into the main event stratosphere. Shelton's problem, however, is that he tries to overcompensate for his lack of a push by throwing his body around the ring in spectacular (if haphazard) fashion leading to those infamous gaffes of the early summer. (see also: "The Top-Rope Topé Topple," "The Shockmaster Suicida," and "The Running Ringsteps Faceplant"). Cool your jets and don't break your neck, Shel then calmly weather out this "Mamma" storyline (if it ever gets off the ground) and you'll be knocking at the main event's door in no time.
Ric Flair Year after year, people swear that they've seen the last of Ric Flair. And year after year, those same people continue to be proven wrong. 2006 might be the last year of Ric Flair's career as we know it, but he certainly has proven resilient to slowing with age. His recent showing against Triple H was some of his best work in the past 10 years, and with the "end" of his career (and his marriage, and ) looming in the not-so-distant future, MeeThinks that Flair will hardly agree to go out without a fight. If Hunter isn't challenging for the WWE title in the main event of WrestleMania, then I fully expect him to square off against Flair one last time (perhaps even in a retirement match) in a classic bout for the ages. There's obviously not much time left in old Space Mountain's career, and there's really not that much left for Ric Flair to accomplish in the wrestling business, but you can BET that he's going to go down swinging and do it with a style and class like only the Nature Boy can. Set your TiVos, folks.
Edge & Lita I'll let you in on a little secret, readers I personally can't stand Edge. Just flat out can't stand the guy. But since this column is the "most positive column in the IWC," and this particular installment is an optimistic look at ALL of the major US wrestling landscape (in three parts), I'll keep my personal bias aside and call this one as fairly and "positively" as possible. Edge definitely "came of age" in 2005. Winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, stealing Lita from Matt Hardy, besting Kane in a series of brutal (if somewhat blah) contests, and banishing V1 from RAW Edge definitely made a statement that he has arrived in RAW's main event picture (for better or worse). Edge and Lita's real-life heat has done wonders in turning the fans against them, and the "Rated R Superstar" is looking at a run for the company's top prize in short order (thanks to that guaranteed title shot). Whether Edge can maintain his top-level-heel momentum once his real-life heat (and the Lita thing) wears off remains to be seen, but there's no denying that all of those outside dynamics virtually assure us that Mr. Copeland will be in for the ride of his life in 2006.
Victoria The IWC loves them some Victoria, and I'm inclined to agree. A sultry, powerful female counterpart to the "rainbows and butterflies" faces that populate the WWE women's division, and a credible (and accomplished) in-ring performer to boot. Beauty, strength and charisma are a tough "total package" to convey in women's wrestling but Victoria strikes that balance perfectly without drifting too far to either extreme (e.g. "Sable: All Looks, No Skills," or "Nicole Bass: All Strength, No Looks"). Much of the success of the slow-burn in the Trish/Mickie storyline can be attributed to Vicky's willingness to play the constant and credible foil to the face's ever-unfolding drama, so we've definitely got to give Victoria a "thumbs up" for 2005 and hope that she gets a chance to take center stage in her OWN storyline for 2006.
Trish Stratus "Hey! It's a women's storyline that's actually worth watching! Thanks, Ms. Stratus!" Trish will go down in history as one of the best female competitors in history, and her versatility and willingness to work with younger talent this year will undoubtedly go a long way in earning her that bragging right. From heel to injury to face to heel?!, Trish had a roller-coaser year in 2005 but was able to maintain her trademark poise and composure throughout it all and she came out of the year looking like a more three-dimensional superstar because of it. Here's hoping we get to see some more evil Trish by the end of 2006 but either way, she's a phenomenal performer.
Finally, wrapping this thing up with a look at the remainder of those "familiar" faces to RAW
"The Stragglers" (Those established performers that make up the remainder of the RAW undercard)
Jonathan Coachman Totally dropped the ball with the RAW announcer's job, but you really can't blame the poor guy for that. JR's resitol hat was a big one to fill, and his announcer's seat was an even BIGGER throne to inherit for even the most veteran of announcers let alone a guy like Coach who was still (by and large) "finding his voice" as part of the RAW broadcast squad. Still, the antagonist heel announcer role is probably a better fit for Coachman anyhow, and kudos to WWE for recognizing that and doing the right thing by letting him stick to providing (Meehan: "How do I say this without using the phrase COLOR' commentary?!?") "additional" commentary (Meehan: "Sorry folks, I tried") and letting a veteran like Styles carry the mantle for the time-being.
Jerry "The King" Lawler Jerry Lawler, by all rights, should probably have retired from the RAW announce booth some years ago. The creepy old man come-ons, the incessant shouting of "puppies," and the inanely tangential "color" commentary that was usually more off-color than color, when you really think about it. That said, Lawler has toned down his act since Coach joined the booth, and the RAW broadcast has benefited because of it. In moderation, Lawler provides a valuable "veteran's" perspective that really adds to the RAW announce team, and so long as he's willing to keep his oogling over the divas to a minimum, I actually have no problem with Lawler finishing out his career behind a headset even if he is working on borrowed time.
Eugene Who would have guessed that the first victim of the WWE drug policy would be the (ahem) "Special Wrester" Eugene? Not a good way to end the year for Dinsmore, which is really a shame when you consider just how much potential there was to re-enliven his character when he stole a win from Kurt Angle. Dinsmore seems to be facing a world of problems these days, the least of which being that even the casual fans have grown vocally tired of his current gimmick, so here's hoping the guy can get his life back in order and showcase some of that "Mr. Wrestling II"-type stuff he was known for in OVW. Best of luck, Nick.
Tyson Tomko "This guy's still employed," you ask? Yup, if only because he looks like wrestling's answer to a musclebound Melville also-ran (anybody get that reference? No? Sigh ). Still, Tomko has an imposing physique and if WWE had the inclination he could easily partner up with somebody like Dupree or Snitsky to lend some "brawn" to their "brains" or "backne," respectively. Still, he's a big guy with a decent look, and his big knockout kick finisher was moving the guy along quite nicely there for a while, though so don't be surprised if WWE decides to give him "one last shot" at getting himself over (perhaps in some sort of oddball pairing type duo) before cutting him loose by 2007.
Gene Snitsky While IWC fanboys spent countless hours perfecting the ideal color balance and body tone of their many generations of CAWs, mark fans around the world were simultaneously slapping a pair of plain black trunks on big ugly dudes and letting them goon it up in fantasy warfare. In other words, while he'll never win any beauty contests or technical awards Snitsky embodies that "big ugly bad guy" mold that mark fans around the world love to hate in the quintessential "throwback" wrestling heel. Add that to the fact that Snitsky is genuinely funny in a "painfully awkward" kind of way, and you've got a great enhancement talent lug to power through the WWE lower-card for a while to come. And if you're willing to accept that fact and you don't expect too much more from the big oaf, then guess what? You might actually find yourself enjoying his matches!
Danny Basham Probably warranted a mention in the "imports" section, but since he hasn't done anything of note (read: ANYTHING) since arriving on RAW, I couldn't help but lump poor Danny in with the rest of the "stragglers." Honestly? Breaking up the Bashams was probably a bad move for the team, as both of them have had ZERO singles success to speak of since their split some 6 months ago. In OVW, Danny proved to be more than capable in the ring. If he hopes to stay on the RAW roster (or the WWE roster, for that matter) by 2007, he'd better let those in-ring skills do the talking, and FAST.
Renee Dupree Injuries are a bummer, especially when you're struggling to make a name for yourself on a new brand. Such was the case for Dupree, who was jettisoned to Smackdown with high hopes in the original draft only to be quietly re-signed to the RAW roster just a year later. And in the better part of two years, what has Dupree accomplished? Hint rhymes with "babsolutely hero." Still, Dupree is young (just like 22, right?) and he can really rile up a crowd, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him make a splash in the WWE midcard if and when he can shake the injury bug.
Rosey After the Rosey/Hurricane split, logic would have dictated that the newly-turned Helms would have made it his mission to make an example of his former partner, and then BOTH partners would have come out of the feud looking like established singles superstars in the process. But not to be in the E, it would appear, and Helms teeters on the brink of "nondescript heel with a chip on his shoulder #152" obscurity while Rosey's stuck with the remnants of the tandem's superhero gimmick. Rosey shouldn't panic (just yet) though, as rumors are flying that WWE has re-signed his former "3 Minute Warning" partner, Jamal so the former S.H.I.T. has still got some gas left in the tank if he's ok with sticking to tag-team contests. And hey with the tag ranks being as thin as they are, a "3 Minute Warning" revival could really flourish, ya know!
Val Venis A former Intercontinental champion AND a thoroughly competent in-ring performer, which could explain why Val is still employed while so many of his contemporaries (see also: The Godfather, Road Dogg, Dan Severn, Ken Shamrock) have long-since departed the hallowed ranks of WWE. Still, poor Val's star is probably on the wane, and his name is always tossed around whenever rumors of the next round of roster cuts begin to surface. I wouldn't be surprised to see Val call it quits (by choice or by force) with WWE by the end of 2006, but it's not like anyone could honestly say that the guy didn't have a good run while it lasted.
Viscera See Val Venis then replace "Intercontinental champion" with "King of the Ring" and replace "thoroughly competent in-ring performer" with "is a really big dude in pajamas." To put it bluntly, Viscera has outlived his usefulness to the company in anything but an enhancement talent capacity, but he's still remarkably charismatic (when given the chance to shine), so Big Vis might just smile his way into another steady year of "pin me, pay me" employment with World Wrestling Entertainment if he's lucky.
Wow. Six hours and 12 pages later I'm done till that Smackdown column for next week, at least.
Agree? Disagree? "Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!"
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii
Shoot me YourThinks and I'll post your thoughts next week!
The Unofficial Glossary of Professional Wrestling: Volume VI
We're compiling a massive Wrestling Glossary of fan observations of the clichés, trends, and standbys of the wrestling world that might as well serve as the unofficial "rulebook" for this sport we all love so well. Each week, I'll post one an entry of my own as well as a few submitted by you, my faithful (and hopefully articulate) readers.
It's simple, really. You submit an entry, I add it to the Glossary, and you get the credit.
This week's additions
The Faulty Manufacturer's Guarantee
If an announcer gives added emphasis on the strength of a structure or any reason to believe that any structure or ring-modifying apparatus is "practically unbreakable," there is a good chance that a portion of said structure will be destroyed by the end of the bout. Examples include: glass holding cells in an Elimination Chamber, the cage comprising the Hell in the Cell, the walls of a steel cage (see: Show, the Big; Valentine's Day Massacre).
Meehan
The Flying Nothing: Part II
When a wrestler goes to pull a move off the top rope, with his opponent laying on the canvas, as he jumps off the ropes, the wrestler laying down would put both his feet up, thus creating a powerful force field that will make the attacking wrestler completely forget whatever he was planning to do and instead land near the complete opposite side of the other wrestler's body with both his feet on the floor. And somehow, despite the fact that the attacking wrestler has landed in a standing position, due to the force of gravity from the jump, his head will ALWAYS bow down and land right on said wrestler's feet.
Ori Zeiger
The Five Moves of Doom Rule
During pretty much every match certain wrestlers are in, they perform a string of four to five moves (usually ending with the wrestlers finishing move) that their opponent is seemingly powerless to stop. (see Cena, John; Hart, Bret; Michaels, Shawn, etc.). Many of these wrestlers have been doing it for years, yet none of their opponents seem to have seen a prior match and fall victim to these series of maneuvers.
i) Exception 1: The opponent may escape the moves of doom, only when the finisher is about to be executed. The opponent is allowed to come to their senses and roll out of the way, or perform a counter. More often than not, the wrestler will apply his finisher one or two manuvers later.
ii) Exception 2: Certain moves of doom force the opponent to perform manuvers of his own and is powerless to stop them. An example would be when Hulk Hogan is "Hulking up", the opponent is powerless to stop himself from continuing to punching Hogan in the head, but also the opponent must look surprised, as if this is the first time it's ever been done. Basic logic would dictate that a simple eye poke would defend against "Hulking up", but none of Hogan's opponents have watched one of his matches for the last 20 years.
Chris Wingert
The "I R Smart" Rule
Whenever a wrestler counters an attempt by their opponent to beat them senseless (whether with a finisher, a signature manuever, or just with a handy "international object"), if they follow up the counter with a tap to the noggin and a smirk (the universal pantomime for "I'm smart"), they will get beat up anyway. (See: Leyfield, John "Bradshaw" at Judgment Day 2005. He said "I quit" to lose the match, in hopes that Cena would not bludgeon him with a steel pipe from a semi truck. Upon giving the tap to the noggin, however, Cena hit him with the pipe anyway.)
=Jay 2K Winger=-
The Unconventional Rulebook Regulation
In circumstances where a heel invokes unfamiliar wrestling rules (e.g. Canadian Rules, Duchess of Queensbury Rules) the face will make NO attempt to familiarize himself with the new rules and will wrestle as normal until his victory attempts are voided by the introduction of contradictory rules. The match will get more and more one-sided until the face wins.
Vonbrown
The Inverted Champion Law (a corollary to the Inverse Law of Lumberjacks)
The more the deck is stacked against the champion by the "evil" boss, the more likely they are to win. Adding more opponents, special referees, strange stipulations (Cena, John, Submission Match) or otherwise will only make the champion that much more likely to pull off the win with their title in tact.
kahz
