MeeThinks 01.10.06: 2005 in Review The Smackdown Edition (Page I of II)
Posted by John Meehan on 01.10.2006
Looking to 2006 and wrapping on the year that was (Part II of III)
"Methinks I am a prophet new inspired!"
- John of Gaunt, King Richard II
Act II, scene I
Happy New Year, 411! And welcome once again to THE most positive column in the IWC!
(Hey "be more positive" sounds like a great New Year's resolution to Mee!)
Anyhow
Here's what's on tap for this week (in case you missed last week's column)
Since I loves Mee the 411, I'm putting this column together on DECEMBER 20th just ONE DAY after I polished off the finishing touches on the RAW Rundown column y'all might have read last tuesday.
And
If you've read last week's column, you'll remember that this week's MeeThinks is part II of a three-part "themed" uber-column I'm dubbing the First Annual MeeThinks Year-End Wrap-up and Predictions,
Just like last week's look at RAW, this week's column will attempt to give a kindhearted evaluation, an optimistic outlook, and a few helpful pointers to all of the major players on one of sports entertainment's three major "brand" rosters.
This week, we're layin' the Smackdown! Last week was RAW, and the January 17 column (complete with y'all's reactions and reader feedback to this edition) will be TNA's turn.
Page two (this thing is a monster!) contains reader feedback and the Glossary good stuff, as well as EXCLUSIVE photos from the New Year's Revolution press conference. Should be good times and well worth the read.
Sound like a plan?
Rock.
Here goes nothing!
MeeThinks: 2005 in Review The Smackdown Edition Looking to 2006 and wrapping on the year that was (Part II of III)
Our Story So Far
What a year it was for Smackdown and I don't necessarily mean that in an entirely "good" sense, either. The blue brand of WWE had a roller coaster year in 2005, intermittently catching a few lucky breaks and rising stars only to suffer from a string of crippling and heartbreaking setbacks. The most obvious change in the Smackdown landscape occurred when UPN shuttled the show to the "death spot" of 8pm on a Friday night a tough night to catch TV for those "wrasslin fanz" with, you know, LIVES, and a brutal night for television in general, for sure.
The Smackdown roster (and the wrestling world as a whole) suffered a devastating loss in the fall of 2005 when former WWE Champion and worldwide superstar Eddie Guerrero died suddenly due to an enlarged heart condition that had been aggravated by his many years of substance abuse. Though Guerrero was clean and sober at the time of his death (and had been for several years!), his untimely passing sent shockwaves through the wrestling community at large just the same, and WWE began to implement random drug testing policies to screen (and protect) their performers by year's end. As of press time, no members of the Smackdown lockerroom were suspended or terminated or found to have been in violation of said policy, but its implications still promise to reshape the wrestling industry as we know it in the weeks, months and years to come.
In terms of talent (we'll get into that more in a second) Smackdown looked to have come out about even in the 2005 Draft Lottery, but the long-term shakeout of the roster reshuffle would ultimately leave Smackdown's depth chart a bit worse off than its RAW counterpart.
The draft looked like this:
Smackdown lost a former world champ (Big Show), but gained one (Benoit) (adv: Smackdown)
Smackdown lost a solid upper-midcarder (RVD), but gained a main-eventer (adv: Smackdown)
Smackdown lost a top-level heel (Angle), but gained one (Hassan) till he left (adv. RAW)
Smackdown lost an up-and-comer heel (Carlito), but gained one (Christian) till he left (adv: RAW)
Smackdown lost a world champion (Cena), but gained a World Champion (Batista). (adv: push)
Again, on paper it would look like both brands fared pretty well in the draft, until you consider the "other" key losses to the blue brand this year that ranged from injury to release to natural death.
And speaking of losses
Smackdown's "key losses" in 2005:
Eddie Guerrero his death was a HUGE loss to Smackdown and to the wrestling world
Christian (you can read more about him in the TNA column next week)
Mohammad Hassan character canned at UPN's request
Khosrow Daivari see Hassan, add "nonchalantly shuffled back over to RAW"
The Dudley Boys (again, see next week's TNA column)
Frankie Kazarian from TNA to WWE to unemployment in a month's time. Well, that was quick.
Christy Hemme released from WWE in the winter of 2005
and a whole slew of lower-to-midcard talent (Charlie Haas, Miss Jackie, Matt Morgan, etc.) to boot.
Still, 2005 wasn't all bad news for the blue brand, as they continued to churn out some impressive newcomers. Let's take a quick rundown of their "key acquisitions"
MNM the hottest new tag team in WWE in recent memory. Two-time tag-team champs in '05.
Jillian Hall debuted as the image consultant for MNM, now working as a valet alongside JBL
Road Warrior Animal returned from a lengthy sabbatical to reform the "Legion of Doom 2K5"
The Mexicools debuted in the summer of 2005 to make trouble, stereotypes & shenanigans
The Dicks debuted late in 2005, adding muscle and (ahem) "stiffness" to the tag ranks
Cowboy Bob Orton returned to WWE television in the summer of 2005
Rowdy Roddy Piper intermittently returned to WWE's blue brand as part of the Orton angle
Palmer Cannon debuted as the "Network Executive" heel counterpart to face GM Teddy Long
The Boogeyman finally kicked those nagging injuries and joined Smackdown in the fall or 2005
Ken Kennedy hot prospect who made a huge impact before being sidelined with an injury
Paul Birchill rookie Limey grappler debuted as protégé under the tutelage of William Regal
Bobby Lashley former armed forces brute who racked up an impressive unbeaten streak
Matt Hardy landed on Smackdown after returning to RAW following a teased jump to TNA
Kristal Diva Search castaway debuted as a backstage interviewer in late 2005
Sharmell Sullivan the former "Paisley" redebuted under her real name alongside her real hubby
and a coterie of lower-to-midcarders like Sylvan, Simon Dean and a handful of divas (we'll get to them in a bit).
Finally Smackdown's PPV showings and top-level feuds of 2005:
Going into WrestleMania, there was no denying that Batista/HHH was THE main event and that the Smackdown title bout (Cena/Bradshaw) would take second-billing. But since Big Dave joined the Smackdown roster, he's been widely considered by smart and mark fans alike to be the more successful of the two champions. While his success (as opposed to Cena's) is open for discussion, it's obvious that The Animal is most definitely still the more popular of the two champions in the eyes of the Net fans, at least. Batista's program against Bradshaw wasn't particularly memorable, but Eddie Guerrero's swan-song showing against The Animal definitely helped give the big guy some staying power in the eyes of the WWE fanbase.
Eddie can also be credited for helping put Rey Mysterio on the "main eventer" map, as the feuding Mexicanos storyline (despite all its faults) undoubtedly cemented Rey Rey as a threat to the upper-tier of the WWE roster.
Then there was that whole mess with Hassan & the Undertaker the less said about that, the better.
Ditto for the Great American Bash PPV, which once again maintained its reputation of being the weakest pay-per-view showing of the WWE calendar year.
Still, Smackdown would have the last laugh of 2005 over their RAW counterparts, as the blue brand's team of superstars (led by Batista) outlasted the RAW team at Survivor Series, and Smackdown's Randy Orton once again emerged as the sole survivor in a thoroughly entertaining match.
Randy, meanwhile, would most certainly not be laughing by the end of 2005, however as his extended program against the Undertaker left the Legend Killer holding the short end of the stick at the close of the year. Though Orton had definitely given a strong showing against the Man from Death Valley in the middle of 2005 (winning at Summerslam and then setting the Dead Man's casket on fire some months later), he ultimately wound up dropping mind game after mind game to the Dead Man and found himself on the losing end of their showdown at Armageddon much like he'd done at WrestleMania some 10 months before.
(Whew).
Ok, that'll do it for the major news stories, PPVs, feuds, characters and storylines for the Smackdown brand in 2005. Now let's get to the individual analyses!
MeeThinks?
They say "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Well MeeThinks this is as a perfect time as any to take that challenge and say something nice about EVERYBODY (well, almost everybody) on the Smackdown roster.
Like last week, we'll start by looking at those key losses who've yet to show up elsewhere as of this writing (as those superstars will be profiled in their new home-brand, accordingly), and we'll work our way through the remainder of the roster in logical groupings.
The "Old Guard" (no longer appearing on the Smackdown! brand or WWE television in general)
Eddie Guerrero What can I say about Eddie Guerrero's passing that I haven't already tried to put into words before? Answer not much, so I'm not going to bother trying. Rest in peace, Holmes. We miss you.
Christian like I mentioned in the teaser rundown above, you'll have to tune back in next week to read more about him in the TNA column! But if you're feeling antsy, you can always head back to this column and check out the complete MeeThinks on Christian's jump to TNA.
Mohammad Hassan Finally! An actual performer profile amid all of these red herrings and plugs for other columns! Ok so Hassan. Tough break for the guy that UPN decided to crackdown on him like they did, especially when you consider the fact that he was (likely) slated to face Dave for the World Title (and win)! Mark Copiani the man behind the Hassan character is a tremendously charismatic performer and a natural on the microphone, so it's sad to see him go. That said, it looks like his heart wasn't really in the business (as you can see from the fact that he split altogether once the character was canned), so maybe it's better that Hassan faded away before Copiani burned out. I know he's too busy trying to land acting gigs to read wrestling websites these days, but good luck to him just the same.
Khosrow Daivari already profiled in last week's column (sorry again for the lack of link-age, check the archives!).
The Dudley Boys Showed up in TNA so, yup tune in next week. Man, I just keep teasing y'all with these, don't I? Sorry again cheap plug for next week's column!
Frankie Kazarian Ironically (and luckily!) for Mee, the one and only episode of Velocity I happened to catch this year (I'm usually out on Saturday nights) was the episode that featured Kazarian's debut (and that AWESOME Regal/Beniot encounter)! From what I saw of Frankie, he looked like a younger version of RVD, which is a good thing. Sucks that he bolted before spreading his wings with WWE, but I can understand his reasons for doing so. He'll have a hard time winning back the respect and trust of the TNA lockerroom, but he seems like a competent enough of a performer that if anybody can do it, it'll be him. Look for "The Future" to re-debut for TNA by the end of 2006 but don't be surprised if he's jobbing to The Amazing Red (at least for a while) when he does.
Christy Hemme Willingness to learn "enough"? Check! Unique "enough" look? Check! Popular "enough"? Check! Wants more money? Check! Expendable? CHECK. Christy was what she was, and that was (sadly) nothing more than a "flavor of the month" eye candy with just as much plastic body parts as in-ring ability. Sad to see anybody go, but since this is the IWC's POSITIVE column, I'd like to go on record as saying that (in the bigger picture of things) Hemme's departure is really no big loss for WWE or the Smackdown brand. Obla-di life goes on, ya know?
The Rest of the Releases Like I said last week, most of the rest of the releases weren't really doing all that much for WWE anyhow and if they were just going to be strung along by a company that had no direction for them and no plans to showcase their skills in the immediate future, it's probably not the worst thing in the world that they were let go. Yet perhaps even moreso than those dropped from RAW most of the Smackdown releases should have no trouble finding employment in other venues (Japan for guys like Morgan, TNA for Jackie & Haas), and I'd wager that we'll be talking about at least one or two of these folks as "big mistakes" for WWE to have let go in the future. Charlie Haas looks like you've got a second chance, so I'm looking at you!
Now then, while we're talking releases and re-debuts, onto the rest of them!
"The New Blood" (Those folks new or re-imported to the Smackdown! brand this year)
Matt Hardy Making a "positive comment" on Matt Hardy's 2005 is a tough one, even for Mee. Despite the fact that he's one of my favorite performers of all time (I'm a Hardy Boyz mark so sue Mee!) and the fact that there was nowhere that fans would have liked to see him compete MORE than in a WWE ring, the fact of the matter is that the Hardy/Edge storyline went from being the hottest thing on the web (and in wrestling) to being one of the biggest disappointments of 2005. The Summerslam match was a strong (if awkward) building block to a barnburner, and their tumble off of the entrance ramp on RAW made me interested again, but that lackluster ladder match totally sucked any hope I might have of the feud redeeming itself right out the window. On the bright side, though Hardy is back under contract with WWE, which means that the guy is making good money once again and (hopefully) planning bigger and better things with the E in 2006. Matt needs a solid program to deliver the goods where the Edge feud fell short. Here's hoping he finds it in short order or I'm fearful that it's back to the indies for V1.
Sharmell Sullivan Finally a performer that I can say uncategorically NICE things about without having any hesitation whatsoever! Sharmell has been instrumental in the rebirth of the Booker man's career, and she's thoroughly entertaining as a ringside Lady MacBeth to boot. Great ringside presence and an awesome addition to the WWE roster to freshen up one of WCW's biggest stars. Usually I'm cautious about adding real-life spouses into storylines as things tend to get muddled and fast (see: Austin/Debra; Hunter/Steph; etc.) but in this case, WWE took a gamble and it paid off in spades. Here's hoping Sharmell can help Booker add another World Title reign to his resume in 2006.
Road Warrior Animal & Heidenriech While web fans are quick to slam Animal for making a mockery of the Road Warriors legacy by gimmicking up Heidenriech in a slapdash rehash of the Legion of Doom, let's give the guy some credit here. For starters, he still looks pretty jacked for a guy his age, and two the incomparable face tandem of "LOD 2K5" has given the hot-off-the-presses heel duo of MNM a steady opponent for the past six months or so. Have the matches been good? Not at all, really but that said, MNM is only as over as heels as their face opponents (mainly LOD) are over as faces. So love Animal & Johnny or hate them the bottom line is that their existence has given new life (or life support?) to the Smackdown tag ranks. I don't see Animal lasting throughout the entire 2006 year, but maybe his rub will put Heidenreich over on the way out.
The Mexicools Are they heels? Are they faces? Are they funny? Are they offensive? So many questions surround the E's new Latino stable, and for good reason. Psychosis and Super Crazy have continued to impress (and get over as faces, for that matter), while team "leader" Juventud just kind of meandered as the brand's latest "lame duck cruiserweight sensation" in the same vein as Ultimo Dragon. Kind of a bummer, really because Juvi (like Ultimo before him) was MONEY in WCW and abroad (go back and play WCW/nWo Revenge on the N64 and see what I mean)! With Juvi gone, here's hoping that the E finds something for these remaining stars to do perhaps as a bona-fide face tag team in the near future, otherwise MeeThinks 2006 will end up Mexicool-free.
The Dicks it's a PENIS joke, get it!?! Har har har Well, for every "good" idea there's a handful of gimmicks that simply make you say "what were they THINKING?!" Still, The Dicks (a "tweak" on TNA's Johnsons, pun intended) have a weird sort of Cro-Magnon-meets-Chippendale sort of look going for them that just might work after all. Obviously not my favorite tag team tandem on the Smackdown brand, but I'm looking forward to seeing what WWE does with these two in the upcoming calendar year. If they can't shake that "comedy act" baggage sooner than later, I wouldn't be surprised to see a re"package" (ahem) in their future.
Cowboy Bob Orton Who would have thought that the answer to the question of "how do we get Randy over again as a fresh, up-and-coming heel" would have been "simple pair him with his senior citizen of a father." Remarkably, the Cowboy Bob injection totally revitalized the younger Orton's career, and fans once again began to take notice of the Legend Killer thanks to his newfound chip on his shoulder. Loved the "Ace envies Roddy" mini-storyline they used to illustrate how jealousy and resentment are Orton family values, and Cowboy Bob has been invaluable in giving the rub to this once-and-future World Champion. I'm loving Cowboy Bob in the non-wrestling role, and here's hoping that when Randy eventually RKOs his legend of a father, it'll finally cement the Legend Killer at the top of the WWE main event picture for good this time!
Jamie Knoble Back, and hopefully with a vengeance. 2005 has been kind to Jamie on the indy circuit, so here's hoping he can borrow a bit of his newfound momentum and bring it back to the "glass ceiling-ed" world of WWE. Honestly, given the company's history of putting such limitations on their cruisers, I'm surprised that Jamie re-signed with WWE when he easily would have fit in well with TNA. But that said, the guy is a cruiser with a personality (something that contemporaries like Kendrick and London can't as easily claim), so it'll be good to see him flex his charismatic chops once more in Titan-land. Good luck to you, Knoble. Stay clear of those substances this time around though, yes?
Brian Kendrick and Paul London Are we still calling that guy "Spanky" or what? Actually, Kendrick & London's new gimmick make them look like the bastard offspring of Goldust and Peter Criss, but if it helps to mask their "nondescript skinny white kid" looks, then more power to them, MeeThinks. A tandem of thoroughly talented in-ring performers, who (with any luck) might just get over on that alone regardless of their latest gimmick (or lack thereof). If they can convince fans that there's still WRESTLING to be had in "World Wrestling Entertainment," then expect them to develop a cult-like fan following and carve a nice little niche out for themselves in the WWE midcard. If they can't, then I would seriously start considering TNA. Either way, it should be an interesting year for "Techno Team 2006," if you ask Mee.
Rowdy Roddy Piper Piper's always been great on the mic, so seeing him work his (drunken) not-quite-magic with Michaels and Hogan was kind of a sad footnote to what he used to be. Thankfully, the Hot Rod redeemed himself by being a company guy and serving his purpose to jumpstart the Orton reunion storyline brilliantly. If Piper can stay sober (and out of those wrestling tights), I most certainly wouldn't mind watching him make these sorts of cameos (where appropriate) in 2006. Great use of the "Legends" program to help put over the young guns.
And since we're talking about the young guns
"The Rookies" (Those home-grown guys who are new or "newly repackaged" on the Smackdown! roster this year)
MNM Far and away the best new tag team in recent memory, these guys have "star quality" written all over them. A great gimmick, fluid in-ring and on-screen chemistry, and two convincing (if not altogether impressive) runs as tag team champs have Mee expecting great things from Mercury, Nitro and Melina in 2006 and beyond. As long as WWE doesn't rush their inevitable dissention in the ranks, we could easily have a tag team split storyline that's just as compelling as the breakup of The Rockers (or, at the very least, Strike Force). Except given the potential of each of the parties involved here I wouldn't be surprised if this tandem wound up launching not just one but TWO future superstars maybe even of a World Champion caliber some time down the line. And Melina WOW! If the E is thinking like I am on these guys, then look for MNM to stick together, hone their skills and really make their mark on the tag division throughout 2006 and beyond. They're both still young, and there will be plenty of time and mileage to get out of each competitor as a singles' superstar if WWE slow plays it properly (as MeeThinks they will).
Jillian Hall I don't know who in WWE headquarters was watching Austin Powers, but saddling this poor girl with such a goofy gimmick has definitely been a mixed blessing for this new female superstar. On the one hand, you've got guaranteed "cheap heat" thanks to that hideous-looking pretzel-thing on her cheek which makes her an invaluable heel asset to any baddie she might befriend. But on the other hand, Hall's momentum might just stall in the "token ugly girl" heel quagmire unless she loses the "mole." (Because really now, are we expected to cheer a girl who's supposed to be "hot" if they've gone out of their way to make her "ugly"?). Not-so-bold prediction for 2006 either the mole goes or Jillian will, for sure.
Palmer Cannon Smackdown's love-to-hate "Network Executive" can probably be credited for saving Teddy Long's job. Sure, Bischoff was the GM under fire in 2005 but let's face it, without a heel counterpart to "yang" his "yin," Teddy Long's "holla holla" babyface shtick was wearing pretty thin. Long simply isn't charismatic (or comfortable-looking) enough in front of a camera to stand on his own, so bully to WWE for adding Cannon to the mix and eeking some more mileage out of the Long tenure. It's like Heyman versus "The Network" only without the underscore of legitimately pissed off Paul E stirring the pot. And it works! Now let's see if the gimmick holds up once we see Palmer step into the ring (cause you just know it's coming in 2006).
The Boogeyman Hate to pull a teaser-plug on y'all again, but I'm going to withhold all comments on Mr. Wright until January 24th at which point we're going to go all-out on the Boogeyman debate in the first regular-format MeeThinks of 2006. So again, to clarify "on deck" for next week's MeeThinks is the TNA rundown (in this format), and for the following week we've got a full column on the Boogeyman "in the (black) hole," so to speak!
Mark Henry will most definitely be let go from WWE by the end of the year, but will have had a ten-year run with the premier sports entertainment company in the world to show for it, which is a lot more than a slew of other bona-fide "stars" can claim (see: Raven, DDP, Jarrett, Ultimo Dragon, etc.). Had a run with the best in the business... not a particularly "good" or "noteworthy" run, of course, but a run just the same (and a few classic moments like the Mae Young bit or the fling with Tammi the transvestite). Will he be missed? Not really... but there'll always be a nostalgic place for those classic Mark Henry moments in the annals (anals?) of WrestleCrap, which again, is worth something in the long-run.
Sylvan The man formerly known as the evil Quebecer / evil Frenchman / evil referee / etc. dropped his last name and picked up a model gimmick in 2005. Hardly a novel concept (Rick Martel > everyone), but a sure-fire cheap-heat tool if marketed properly. The problem for Sylvan? Usually a new gimmick means a new push and that simply hasn't been the case with this former La Resistance alum. Dropping losses left and right to Smackdown's "the Bobs" (Holly & Lashley, respectively) Sylvan's "new" gimmick was tarnished from the get-go due to his inability to garner so much as one win to help establish his credibility. MeeThinks the future isn't too bright for this "Model" employee unless, of course, Pat Patterson really does like him as much as they say that he does.
Ken Kennedy I can't help but be curious as to whether or not the Kennedy ( Kennedy) character was simply a hybrid offspring of a Conan O'Brien-esque "If They Mated" between Billy Gunn and Ace Ventura, but you know what? I could care less. This guy is thoroughly entertaining and a natural on the stick. His ring-work isn't all that bad, either and I expect plenty of great things from Mr. Kennedy ( Kennedy) once he gets all healed up and back in action! Better yet let him tease his return with a series of RNN-like vignettes, just add water, and you've got an instant top-level heel on your hands. Looking forward to seeing big things from this guy in '06.
Paul Birchill Serving as a protégé under a heel goldmine like William Regal is the opportunity of a lifetime for such a young performer, so here's hoping that Birchill can do more with it than "Squire" David Taylor did. Beasty-looking fellow with a great mentor in Regal (both onscreen and off), so I thoroughly expect this big Brit to step up his game like he's got something to prove in 2006. He'll need a push from the WWE brass to get there, for sure, but I think he's got plenty of the tools in place to make the most of such a chance once it comes his way.
Bobby Lashley From the looks of things, "Black Lesnar" is a monster. In the ring, though, Lashley still looks like the weaker parts of Goldberg's arsenal (read: limited, power-moves, etc.) without the panache that set Brock (and to a lesser extent, Batista) aside from the rest of the pack (read: technical prowess, amateur polish, ring-savvy, etc.). That said, Lashley has a strong (and decorated) amateur background, so with luck (and time) he could turn out to be the most successful of all the 2005 rookie class. Too soon to tell, but looking forward to seeing him step up his game and show some depth (and personality) in '06.
Kristal Another Diva Search castaway who debuted as a backstage interviewer, but Kristal definitely showed signs of actually, ya know, being a WRESTLING FAN during the Diva Search, so she earns points there from Mee. I think it's far too early to peg her as the next Maria (backstage niches are hard to find, ya know) but Kristal has been harmless and effective with what little exposure she's been given thus far. Nothing special as of yet (think "Terri Runnels," if you will), but gets the job done, and she's certainly no worse than Shaniqua, ya know.
Moving on to the "other" new faces of Smackdown
"The Imports" (Those performers new to Smackdown from RAW via the Draft Lottery)
(note: since we covered Hassan & Sylvan above, Daivari last time, and Christian next time they will not appear in this section, even though they were acquired by Smackdown in the 2005 Draft Lottery.)
Chris Benoit After a quiet fall from the top of the card in 2004, Beniot spent much of 2005 living the "Man without a Country" type role engaging in nonsensical throwaway feuds, pimping the ECW reunion (an AWESOME show, btw but hardly one that Beniot should have been "THE" major WWE guy behind, ya know?) and generally spinning his wheels in midcard oblivion until the Draft Lottery. Thankfully, the E quickly found something for the Crippler to do once he arrived on Smackdown, and he bested Orlando Jordan (and won the US Title) in world-beater fashion at Summerslam. (Hey, come to think of it I was there LIVE too. WrestleMania XX? I was there, Beniot won the World Title. Summerslam 2005? I was there, Beniot won the US Title!). Well, in that case I see one of three things happening for Beniot in '06 option a) WWE forgets all about just how great this guy is, and he takes the pay cut to liven things up down in TNA land (not likely); option b) WWE wizens up and The Crippler gets another push or two towards the top of the card, maybe not a title run in 2006, but perhaps a high profile feud against Orton, Kennedy or another "contender"-type superstar (more likely); option c) 411 readers agree to provide Mee with a travel stipend to attend every major Benoit matchup across the country, since my presence at each of the two aforementioned PPVs has GUARANTEED him a title win (least likely but then again, if you WANT to see Beniot win a title you know where to find Mee).
Dave Batista Hey, didn't I write about this guy already? You betcha I did read all about it right here! Sorry for the cop-out, folks but you've got to remember that columns like this take hella-long to put together (we're talking like 15 single-spaced pages each, folks), and I'm pounding out TWO of these bad boys in as many day's time if there's a legitimate shortcut, I'm taking it!
Randy Orton "HAY! nuthinyoucanSAY! nuthinsgonnachangewhatchuvedonetoMAY!" (Sorry, I couldn't help myself LOVE that theme). Thanks in a large part to Cowboy Bob, Randy Orton is back on track to secure himself a top slot in the Smackdown main event picture. The Orton reunion storyline (and Randy's paranoid quest to establish a legacy before his time) has been one of the best parts of Smackdown week in and week out, so I'm happy to say that the Legend Killer has made a believer out of Mee, at least. Dropping the "rubber match" (or was it the "rubber" rubber match? I'm confused ) to the Dead Man was probably a step backwards in Orton's momentum to wrap up the year, but it looks like WWE has big plans for the master of the RKO in 2K6 (does anybody else smell a Batista feud brewing for WrestleMania?), so perhaps we'll have to be patient and wait and see what's in store for the Legend Killer (and the WWE audience) in 2006 with this one. I'm sensing an "Evolution Explodes" sort of tag line for the inevitable showdown between these two in short order, and I wouldn't be surprised in the least if the young Orton finally winds up being the one to take Big Dave's World Title when that time comes. All eyes on you in 2006, Randy don't screw it up this time!
Stacy Keibler Stacy disappointed Mee in 2005. On one hand, she was hella-over on RAW as part of the tag team champions' superhero stable, but on the other hand she felt trapped by the gimmick and she wanted to "stretch her legs" in greener pastures, as the old saying goes. Totally disagree with Ms. Stacy's assessment that the Batgirl-esque mask "hid her beauty" (heck, MeeThinks she looked sexier than ever!), but then again I can understand her not wanting to get stuck playing a gimmick that could very well stunt her longterm character development (heck, Hurricane was only supposed to don the mask for a few months when he first debuted that gimmick, and look where that wound up!). If Stacy's going to be "Dancing With The Stars" in 2006, then she's a lock to keep her WWE contract if only for the crossover appeal. Still, I'd really like to see her, ya know, actually DO something (anything!) of note in the E for a change.
Michelle McCool "Here today, gone tomorrow" McCool is reportedly down in WWE's Deep South working on (get this) "losing her SOUTHern accent." Ironic, no? Ah well no matter. McCool seemed to exude a friendliness and class that many of the other divas have lacked (see: Candice, Torrie), so once Ms. McCool gets her act together to Ms. Stephanie's liking, I wouldn't be surprised in the least to see her back on Smackdown and working her way to the top of the babyface female spot (which seems to be vacant now that Torrie left, no?). Here's hoping WWE is willing to invest the time and energy into building Michelle into a homemade superstar they could certainly use some "class" to go with all that (ahem) ass.
And now to those "familiar faces" of the red brand
"The Old Pros" (The rest of the Smackdown! main event picture who've been with the brand for more than a year's time)
The Undertaker If what Cornette's said is true, then it's been seven years since the dawn of the "Attitude Era," so "what's old is new again!" Boddydonna Skip? Say hello to Simon Dean! Taker locked in a casket and burned alive? Hey, waitasecondhere Ok, so there wasn't much originality behind the latest death and resurrection of the Undertaker, but you've got to hand it to him he definitely helped put some heat on the Legend Killer that at least made their feud watchable (even if the matches were a little, um "pedestrian"). All told, Taker is soooo over that win, lose or draw all year long, people are still going to pop like mad for him at Mania no matter WHO he's jobbed to (Orton), buried (Hassan) or feuded with in those "less than memorable" contests (Luther Reigns? Heidenreich?!) in 2005. The big question, then, is not whether or not he'll win at this year's Grandaddy of Them All (that's a topic for another day), but just WHO, exactly, he'll be squaring off against. So any bets on who Taker will take on at this year's Mania, anyone? I have a few thoughts, but shoot me YourThinks and we'll discuss this thing further next week.
JBL Rag on him for his ring-work or backstage bullying if you will, but JBL made a believer out of Mee in a BIG way in 2005. Sure he was sloshed for the ECW PPV, but he totally put all sorts of crazy heat on the "Crusaders" angle to entice more than a bunch of casual fan buys of the event. Plus JBL "did the right thing" and knew when to step away from the Championship when he realized that there were two tremendously hot prospects (Cena & Batista) who were better suited for a title run (for now, at least). JBL has YET to re-gain a world title, but he's totally sold his tail off to make BOTH world champions look credible AND successful in the process. Now that he's backed off from the title chase for the time-being, JBL has turned in the groundwork for two highly entertaining programs against Rey-Rey and the RAW brand. Plus you know what? Eddie believed in JBL and I hold nothing but respect for Eddie Guerrero and everything that he accomplished in the wrestling industry. So if JBL "had it" in Eddie's eyes, then by "Gawd" he gets a solid thumbs-up in my book, too. Solid gold on the mic and just so darn great at playing a heel at the drop of a hat, here's to more greatness from the Wrestling GAWD in 2006!
Booker T Amazing what a little lovin' can do for a man's career, no? Booker T in 2004 = flat, uninspired and altogether "blah" work as Smackdown's newest "chip on the shoulder heel." Booker T in 2005? = convincing and ORIGINAL heel turn (well, if you hadn't read MacBeth anyway), and a revitalized run against Benoit for the U.S. Championship. Booker's been on fire since Sharmell's joined his side, and he's back to playing a heel with more than one dimension something that's a rarity in today's wrestling landscape. Though he's secured himself as a perpetual upper-midcarder for life in WWE, with his momentum being as strong as it has been, I'm going to go ahead and make the prediction that the Booker man might just wind up with a World Title shot in 2006. Though I'll miss the "5 Time, 5 Time " catchphrase should he wind up winning it, I think even Booker himself would tell you that he'd be willing to make that trade.
Rey Mysterio If there ever were a chance for a cruiserweight to win a World Title, then Rey Mysterio has as good a shot as there ever will be in World Wrestling Entertainment. Thanks to that long, extended program with Eddie (and to Guerrero's willingness to put the masked luchadore over cleanly time after time), Rey is actually looking like he could pull off a miracle victory on the main-event level. Will Vince have the guts to go ahead with a 5' World Champion? Probably not, but then again Benoit and Eddie weren't exactly "giants" either, ya know (both men stood less than 6' tall). Sure, there's a huge difference between "normal-sized" guys like Eddie & Benoit and "short guys" like Rey-Rey, but you'll notice that Mysterio has quietly slipped into that "Dave Batista's best buddy" role that Eddie was playing just before his untimely death. Not that Rey's a replacement for Eddie, per se, but he's definitely making a credible heir to Latino Heat's legacy. Wouldn't be surprised to see the E take a gamble and offer a world title reign Mysterio's way in 2006, but out of respect for Eddie's memory and concern for such a move being seen as a "pity push" I just as soon wouldn't be surprised to see Rey Rey turn that offer down. Should be an interesting year for Mysterio in 2006 stay tuned.
Hardcore Holly Yeah, I probably could lump old Hardcore in with the "undercard" category of this column, but personal mark-dom and irrational love for the master of the Alabama Slamma' simply prevents from doing so. Is Holly a "main eventer?" Not by a long shot, sadly but that doesn't mean that the guy can't be used in a main-event type role, if WWE is careful about how they book him. Think about all the flack JBL used to catch during his post-brand-split run as a single's competitor (and a FACE) over on RAW that's about the level that old Hardcore has been stuck at in the eyes of the casual fans for the past decade or so. But then again look at how JBL just tweaked his "real life" persona (that of an articulate, veteran real-life "bully") into one of the most entertaining gimmicks in recent memory (even if you hate the ring-work, you've got to admit that the gimmick has been money). I'd like to see Holly do much the same, perhaps with a grizzled-old-vet sort of face undertone to a gimmick very much along the same lines as Bradshaw's. If it works, Holly might just find a new life to his career in 2006.
William Regal Another performer who probably belongs in the category of the undercard (or the "new faces", come to think of it since he was a draft acquisition and all), but you will never see any such sign of disrespect from Mee about my boy Billy Brass Knucks. I'm going to go out on a limb here and call Regal the single most over guy on the WWE roster to never have been given a "main event" push, and I expect 2006 to be no different for the man. Will he get a push like he deserves? Of course not (which is funny, when you think about it because SO many of the men he used to feud/team/work with guys like Jericho, Goldberg, Benoit, Booker T, Triple H ALL went on to become world champions). But will Regal still be one of the most over men on the entire WWE roster, push or no push? Absolutely. Cheers, Sir William keep up the brilliant work!
Finally, wrapping this thing up with a look at the remainder of those "familiar" faces to RAW
"The Stragglers" (Those established performers that make up the remainder of the Smackdown! undercard)
Orlando Jordan Taking a cue from his Summerslam match with Benoit, I'll keep this one under 50 words: Shape up or ship out, Orlando. You've got a good look now learn some new moves and get a personality, STAT.
Stevie Richards Getting paid to sit home might not be the worst thing in the world for Big Stevie Cool. He was horribly underutilized in his post-RTC stint in WWE, and any chance of the Blue World Order reuniting on a permanent basis probably went right out the window when Blue Meanie quietly agreed not to sue Bradshaw and WWE for giving him something to cry about at ECW:ONS. So where does that leave Mr. Richards, then? Riding out the duration of his contract with a smile on his face knowing that he'll never have to job another day in his life. Could be a solid pick-up for TNA or an international promotion, too... but B.S.C. could be just as well served to laugh all the way to the bank and hang up the boots (and cutoffs) for good. He had a good run while it lasted... sometimes fading away is just as good as burning out, I suppose.
Doug Basham Actually, ya know what? This quick-hit style seems oddly appropriate for the Smackdown undercard, given the amount of TV time they've had. So here's MeeThinks for Basham in 2006: Good luck in TNA, Doug I see little reason why he'd still have a WWE job by year's end.
Funaki Numbah One Announcah? Hate to burst Funaki's bubble on that one, but I think that Tazz has really stepped up his game in 2005, and that title might just belong around the Human Suplex Machine's waist err, headset. Still, Funaki is great fun and always willing to take the dive to make his opponent look like an uber-dick, so MeeThinks he's still got some mileage left in the E if he wants it. But if he were actually looking to WIN a match here or there, following Tajiri's lead and heading back to Japan wouldn't hurt, though.
Scotty 2 Hotty Every morning, Scotty must wake up, check his voicemail and exclaim "I'm still employed? Yahoo!" Has done absolutely zero on Smackdown (or in the WWE for that matter) since long before that injury put him on the shelf. It's great to see him back in action, but given the fact that said "action" usually just involves him being squashed in less than 2 minutes flat, I can't help but wonder why Scotty hasn't yet dialed up Dixie Carter. Maybe it's because he realizes that he's been buried for so long that his character simply would be of no value to TNA but then again, look at how well Rhino fared after signing down south. There could be hope for Scott Taylor yet.
Tazz Before Joey Styles joined the RAW announce team in November, I was ready and willing to dub Tazz the WWE's commentator of the year. Now that Joey's back, though it's definitely a toss up. Still, this former world champion and ECW alum (and all-around nice guy, believe it or not, from what I saw when I met him a few years back) has done a great job of reining in Michael Cole's overselling and super-shilling when the situation demanded it. Bonus points for showing Kurt Angle how it's done with a Tazzmission at ECW PPV (note to Samoa Joe: THAT's how you choke a bitch out!), and I'd love to see Tazz & Joey side-by-side for a major cross-promotional PPV in 2006 (the Rumble, perhaps?).
Michael Cole Usually the "company man" (read: shameless SUPER-shill), Cole earned some mad respect from Mee this year for nutting up and calling the E out on for their virtual neglect of Smackdown on an episode of Byte This late in the year. The Heidenriech/creepy sodomy storyline is best forgotten, of course but it just goes to show you how far the guy has come; from being a guy who's willing to (literally) "take it up the ass" for his employer to a man bold enough to take a stand and call his boss out. Bravo, Cole. Now just cut down on the over-hype and you'll be good to go for 2006.
Big Vito & Nunzio Ironic that WWE's own suber-kayfabed Smackdown magazine recently ragged on the Skull Von Krush gimmick as being "already 40 years out of date" by the time Vito was first asked to don it. What's the irony, you ask? Look at the token "Mafia-lite" stereotype Vito's been stuck playing ever since. Ditto for Guido, err Nunzio. The last WWE retread of the FBI was a glorified job squad (except when the E performs in Italy, of course), and I honestly can't expect this latest Italian "Dream Team" to fare any better in a company where gimmick usually trumps in-ring ability (for better or worse). Maybe the FBI should take a cue from the Dudleys and try their luck elsewhere. Sure, it'd be a pay cut but a full-blooded Italian injection into TNA would definitely bolster the company's tag ranks.
Simon Dean Jobbing like a champ, donning a ridiculous gimmick, and making a BOATLOAD of cash in the process - Bucci could be doing much much worse, when you stop and think about it. Sure, he's effectively a jobber-du-jour, but hey - it's worked for Val Venis for the past five years, ya know... so there's something to be said for job security. Too bad we don't get to see the inNOVAtor of offense pulling out all the stops, but then again - WWE's in-ring product (on the whole) is definintely not as Nova-friendly as, say, TNA's X Division - so perhaps its just as well that Bucci doesn't have to be stuck playing the role of "skilled fish in a big-man's pond."
Agree? Disagree?
"Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!"
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii
Shoot me YourThinks and I'll post your thoughts next week!
