Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 01.05.06: The Game Store
Posted by Ryan Byers on 01.05.2006
Save the $700 you planned on spending for the X-Box and plop it down on something a little different.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. It's the first column of the new year, and time off from work combined with Christmas bonuses has allowed me to recharge my batteries and get plenty of material for our next several columns. That all starts today, with our latest Cheap Wrestling tips.
Cheap Wrestling Nuggets
Before we make it on to the full column, here are a couple of quick notes on cheap wrestling items currently on the market.
1.) Highspots.com has an excellent sale running to celebrate the beginning of 2006. Twenty-five different wrestling DVDs are available, and you can pick any three of them for the low price of $20.06. I haven't seen all of the titles that they have available, but I can recommend ROH Road to the Title and MLW Revolutions as strong shows. I've also got full reviews of two of the DVDs up here on 411. They would be The Rock: Just Bring It and FOW King of Carnage.
2.) California's Ultimate Pro Wrestling has released a new two disc DVD set titled "Road to Glory," which features matches from UPW competitors who have gone on to wrestle in WWE and TNA. I saw it retailing for $14 at a local Best Buy, and, with over twenty full-length matches, you're bound to find something that you'll like. There is a listing of the matches here, and I reviewed several of them when I took a look at UPW TV on 8-11-05 and 8-18-05.
With that out of the way, let's hit the meat and potatoes of the column.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #26: Video Game Stores
I'm not that much of a video game fan. Once I was done playing Super Mario Kart on a regular basis, I was done playing games on a regular basis. However, when I started going in to video game stores this holiday season to do shopping for friends, I realized that the stores have a great tie-in to the world of Cheap Wrestling. Whether it's Gamestop, EB Games, or even a local game store, these establishments do a lot of dealing in used DVDs. Obviously, the selection won't be the greatest because the discs aren't the primary revenue source of the establishment. However, if you're willing to do a little bit of digging, you'll often find wrestling titles in between the secondhand copies of Gigli. Plus, thanks to the downward spiral that wrestling's popularity has been in since 2001, the titles are greatly marked down from their original prices. While searching, I was able to find DVDs from WWE, TNA, and even a handful from smaller independent promotions. So, the next time that you're in the market for a Playstation, add a couple of minutes to your trip so that you can find a couple of hours of quality wrestling footage. More often than not, it will be worth the investment.
Let's take a look at one of those titles that I found.
Title: Pro Wrestling Superstars Past, Present, & Future presents Slam Bam: Episode 2 Released By: Guillotine Films Release Year: 2004 Run Time: 68 Minutes Found At: EB Games Price: $5
Pro Wrestling Superstars, Past, Present, and Future is an outfit that was put together to assemble wrestling shows for on demand PPV services. They have working agreements with several independent promotions throughout the United States and Canada and mix matches from those companies in order to create the best show possible. In some instances, they even have classic wrestling footage from the territorial days at their disposal. After several successful runs on pay per view, three episodes have been released on DVD through Guillotine Films. They're generally available at FYE, Suncoast, and Sam Goody stores for $10, though a few have also made it in to circulation in second hand stores and on eBay. Can all of these indy promotions bring their best and combine it in to an enjoyable hour of professional wrestling? Let's take a look.
Match Numero Uno: Kevin Steen vs. Beef Wellington
This match is from the Montreal-based Internet Wrestling Syndicate, which has produced a few wrestlers who look like they could be the next generation of major independent wrestling stars. Steen is one of those men, and he starts off by trading forearms with Wellington. Kev wins that encounter and looks for a spin wheel kick, but Beef grabs him out of midair. Steen escapes, however, leading to a superkick, followed up quickly by the wheel kick for two. Kevin then pulls a few chops out of his bag of tricks, but Wellington responds by reversing a couple of Irish whips and hitting some corner clotheslines. Steen avoids Beef's subsequent attempts at offense and looks for some sort of springboard move, but he misses and pretends his knee is hurt. That allows Steen to sucker Beef in to an enzuguri and a pair of legdrops, only to miss a third. Wellington attempts to capitalize with a corkscrew elbowdrop, but it misses, allowing Steen to hit a somersault legdrop for two. Steen then looks for a Northern lights suplex, only to have his opponent reverse it in to a DDT.
He can't follow up though, allowing Steen to hit a MASSIVE half nelson suplex and a snug lariat. Another DDT is next from Steen, but he showboats before a top rope move and gets cut off. Wellington gets in a Yakuza kick to Steen's midsection, which is supposed to be the set up for a superplex. Steen blocks it . . . and hits a Northern lights bomb from the top rope! One . . . two . . . a kick out?! Okay, that's ridiculous. To make matters worse, Beef pops up like he just took a European uppercut, and some counter wrestling leads to him hitting the Tiger Driver '91 . . . also for two. A Steen powerbomb looks to set up a frog splash, but Wellington moves out of the way and gives his man a dropkick to set up a backbreaker variant. That leads in to another nearfall, and Wellington heads up to the top. Steen quickly manages to throw him off, and he too climbs only to be cut off. Both men are now on the top rope again . . . COBRA CLUTCH SUPERPLEX! It also gets two, and I'd pull my hair out if I still had any. Beef then goes up to the top rope one more time, but he misses a dive and gets caught in Kev's finisher, a package piledriver. It looks brutal, but it can't end the match either.
At this point, Steen gets frustrated and shoves down the referee before opening up Wellington's forehead with a series of punches. Steen continues to work over the cut, and the brutality forces the referee to call for the bell. Steen is awarded the victory due to excessive bleeding.
Match Thoughts: If a rabid WWE fan wanted to trash indy wrestling by saying that it was all big moves with no storylines or drama, then he would just have to pop a tape of this match in to the VCR. Seriously, this contest contained at least five moves that should have ended any professional wrestling match absent some extraordinary justification. The justification was missing, indicating that the wrestlers were just attempting to get over on the "Holy Shit" factor as opposed to actually telling a story. Every time a pair of wrestlers goes this route, it just comes off like amateur hour. To top that off, the finish seemed ridiculously anti-climatic given the fact that the two men had just spent ten minutes hitting each other with some of the biggest moves in the wrestling business. After seeing all of that flash, you get the idea that whatever actually ends the bout will have to be the most spectacular move that you've ever seen . . . and it just flat out sucks when that spectacular move turns out to be one guy hitting the other in the forehead a lot. I'll give this match * for the pretty spots, but there was nothing of substance to justify a higher rating.
Match Numero Dos: Jerry Lynn vs. Petey Williams vs. Johnny Devine
This comes to us from Border City Wrestling, which produced the two Canadians in the match. The relationship between the two is apparent from the beginning, as they hit a double back elbow on the veteran. They attempt to toss him from the ring, but Lynn skins the cat and tricks both men in to leaving the ring. Mr. JL manages to take out his opponents with a few rights before brining Williams back in to the squared circle, where Jerry is caught with a dropkick thanks to some interference from Devine. Team Canada then hits a two man suplex, and they argue over who is going to get the pinfall. Gee, I didn't see that one coming. Lynn is tossed from the ring, and the Canuks start punching each other before Devine lands a rana on his partner. Williams answers with an enzuguri for two, and then Lynn reintroduces himself in to the match with a top rope cross body and a backbreaker on Devine. Williams manages to take over on the former ECW Champ with a side Russian legsweep, but Devine intervenes in the subsequent pinning combination.
A Lynn guillotine legdrop on Williams is next, and he follows up with a slingshot splash. Devine cuts off the subsequent pin attempt with a guillotine legdrop of his own, and he goes to work on Williams with some forearms. Petey doesn't fare much better with Lynn, as he gets caught by a headscissors. Then, in a unique spot, Devine comes off of the second rope with a sunset flip as his opponents grapple, thus taking them both over in to a pinning combination. It gets two, and Jerry sends Devine to the outside with a clothesline. Williams follows Johnny out with a beautiful slingshot rana to the floor, and Lynn caps off the sequence with a pescado down on to both of his opponents. All three men return to the ring, and that results in Devine taking a couple of big bumps in to the turnbuckles. He even does a Flair flip, though he makes a comeback quickly thereafter with a neck snap on Lynn. Johnny heads to the top rope, but Williams cuts him off to set up the stacked superplex spot. Jesus, does that have to happen in EVERY indy match with more than two people involved?
Williams then attempts to hit Lynn with a top rope rana, but Jerry blocks it and lands a TKO on the Canadian Destroyer. He goes for the pin, but Devine cuts it off at two thanks to a springboard moonsault. That leads in to an unbelievable Dragon Rana from Williams, as he drives Devine's head in to the mat, getting a two count before Lynn saves. Petey reverses the cradle piledriver in to a monkey flip, and he follows up with a tornado DDT, which also can't end the match. Williams looks to follow up, but Devine gives him a low blow behind the referee's back and goes for a double underhook powerbomb on Lynn. Jerry blocks it and reverses in to the Kryptonite Crunch . . . also for two. Another attempt at the cradle piledriver is next, leading to a stunner variant by Devine. He lands an odd spinning slam on Petey, also for two, and this match officially has less psychology than Sigmund Freud after a frontal lobotomy.
Williams gets a spinning neckbreaker on Lynn, but it's also not good enough. Shortly after that, Lynn tosses Williams out of the ring and gets the cradle piledriver on Devine, which finally leads to a three count and an end to the bout.
Match Thoughts: This suffered from many of the same problems that the previous match did, in that there was no internal storyline established. Instead, a bunch of guys just went out to the ring and did a bunch of wrestling moves to one another. To quote the nation's third graders, "whoopdy doo." Though this style of wrestling is a little bit more believable when it's done in a three way, it's still rather obnoxious and not the kind of wrestling that many fans want to see. Add on to that the fact that the match used far too many three way cliches (rivals turning against each other, stacked superplexes, etc.), and this one turned in to a big snoozer despite having some rather talented individuals involved. *1/4
Match Numero Tres: Low Ki vs. Homicide
This one comes to us from USA Pro Wrestling, which I believe was operated by Mikey Whipwreck out on the east coast for several years. The two men trade reversals on the mat to start, which ends when Ki escapes a waistlock and dropkicks Homicide's leg. A nasty kick combo follows from Low Ki, and he uses that to set up the Tidal Crush. A corkscrew elbow is next from the younger man, and he looks for the Dragon Clutch, only to have 'Cide make the ropes. Ki then goes to a headlock, but the Notorious 187 cuts him off and applies the STF, which is escaped rather quickly. Homicide takes advantage of Low Ki's weakened state and chokes him in the corner, after which both men spill out to the arena floor. The Notorious 187 takes advantage of the change in scenery by whipping Ki in to the guardrail several times. He tries to follow up with his tope con hilo, but the former ROH Champion sees it coming and hits a kick to the head. Ki tries a tope of his own, but Homicide dodges it and slams his man on the floor.
Ki fails to sell, resulting in the two men exchanging some brutal forearms. Low Ki goes back in to the ring at this point and looks for a second tope, but he flies OVER Homicide and lands ribs first on the exposed arena floor. We go back in to the ring after that, where the two men trade Irish whips. Then, as Homicide runs in to the corner, Low Ki jumps over him and applies the Dragon Clutch out of nowhere. The Strong Style Thug counters by grabbing Ki's leg and barring it, but that gets turned in to a rear naked choke by Ki. Eventually 'Cide rolls in to the ropes to break that hold. The referee breaks the two men up, but they just go right back to the mat as soon as they're able. Ki goes for the Dragon Clutch once more, but Homicide counters, throwing him over the top rope and in to the guardrail. 'Cide's signature tope follows quickly thereafter, and he quickly rolls his man back in to the ring for a two count. Homicide stays on his man with a second rope double stomp, but he runs in to a boot not long thereafter. Ki heads up to the top rope at this point, landing a beautiful second rope elbow drop for another nearfall. The Liger somersault kick is next, and then Homicide finds himself placed up on the top rope for a huricanrana. 'Cide manages to block it, though, and he catches Low Ki off guard with an incredible snap German suplex. That won't end the match either, so Homicide heads back up to the top rope . . . and he jumps in to another somersault kick! He attempts the Ki Crusher after this, but Homicide blocks it and hits the Cop Killa, but it only gets two due to a sloppy cover. Mr. 187 stays on his man with a series of three huge lariats, but that also fails to end the matchup. A second Cop Killa looks to finish, but it's reversed in to the Ki Crusher, which can only get two. After that, Ki alternates between the STF and the Dragon Clutch, with the latter move eventually securing the tap out.
Match Thoughts: This was the third ridiculously spotty indy match in a series of them. This was probably the best of the three, as there was arguably some sort of storyline present in Ki needing to get the Dragon Clutch on to win and busting out everything under the sun to take Homicide down so that the hold could be applied. That story was there at some points, but it was certainly never made explicit by either the announcers or the wrestlers. Even if it was what the two men were going for, they seemingly forgot about it periodically, again choosing to pop the crowd as opposed to focusing on the story itself. Combine that with selling that was very hit and miss, and you've got a disappointing *3/4 from two men who are capable of much better.
Match Numero Cuatro: The Suicide Blonds (Christian Cage & Sexton Hardcastle) vs. Denny Kass & Otis Apollo
This is also from Border City Wrestling, but it's a match from way back in 1996, as Hardcastle and Cage would go on to become Edge and Christian in the World Wrestling Federation. Denny Kass never got big national exposure, but he was an early tag team partner of Al Snow, as the two paired up to form the New Fabulous Kangaroos.
Cage starts off with Kass, who dominates with a headlock and shoulderblocks early on. Christian comes back with a dropkick and a slam before giving the same to Apollo. Kass and Apollo stall after that, but Cage will have none of it and slingshots Denny back in to the ring and works over the arm. Apollo and Hardcastle tag in at this point, setting up a double dropkick from the Blonds that misses by a mile. Sexton tries to rebound by wringing Otis' arm, but Apollo punches him in the mush and brings Kass in for more hot armbar action. They do a sequence where Sexton repeatedly kips out of Kass' takedowns, and then Apollo comes right back in. He goes to a headlock on Hardcastle, and that leads in to a rope runner sequence. Apollo misses a lariat at the end of that, resulting in his eating an armdrag. A tag to Cage is the next order of business, and he comes off the top with a fistdrop to Otis' arm before he goes right back to work on it with a bar and a few knees. It's back to Edge quickly after that, and a double armdrag from the youngsters gets two. Another quick tag from E&C follows that, and Cage atomic drops his partner in to a legdrop on Apollo. Christian heads in to a headlock, which he lets go to run the ropes. That doesn't end well for him, as Otis catches him with a lariat and tags Kass back in to the ring.
Denny gets a short-arm clothesline and a top wristlock before bringing Apollo right back in for a series of elbowdrops and a vertical suplex. Kass comes right back after that, and he lands a fisherman's suplex for two before following with a back elbow. He taunts Hardcastle at this point, allowing the heels to make an illegal switch, which sets up an Apollo stomp to the groin. Kass returns to the ring in order to take advantage of that one, and he drops a pair of flashy elbows before heading in to the BLATANT CHOKE~! A low blow and a hair beal are next from Denny, but Cage works in a hope spot, taking his opponent down quickly for a jackknife pin.
Denny keeps the advantage, though, landing a bulldog before bringing in his younger partner. Apollo applies a chinlock, but Cage makes your traditional babyface comeback, smashing Otis in to the turnbuckles and trying in vain to make the tag. He fails, allowing Kass to come back in to the ring for his own chinlock. He briefly breaks it so that he can team up with Apollo to hit a double armdrag, and then it's right back to the chinlock. Christian eventually escapes with a jawbreaker, and he backs in to a tag from Hardcastle. The future Edgester takes down his opponents with clotheslines and spinebusters galore, and then the Blonds team up for a Poetry in Motion type move on both men. Sexton drops Cage on to Apollo with an inverted powerbomb, and it looks like they've got the match sewed up. The referee prevents the victory from happening, though, attempting to get the men back in to their respective corners. That distraction allows Denny Kass to hit one of the Blonds with a boomerang ('cuz he's Australian, ya see), and that gives the bad guys the duke.
Match Thoughts: Well, after watching three matches that were far too much flash and not nearly enough substance, this bout brought us the exact opposite. Everything here was fairly bland, with a lot of heat being put on the good guys with the periodic comebacks building up to the hot tag and the finishing sequence. However, with only basic armbars being traded and the arm work not playing in to the bigger picture of the match, it looked like the wrestlers were just killing time until they eventually got to the finish. Part of that may have been Hardcastle, Cage, and Apollo being relatively new to the wrestling world. Part of it may have been the difference between indy wrestling now and indy wrestling ten years ago. Whatever it was, though, it lead to a fairly ho hum encounter that doesn't hold up well when viewed as an every day wrestling match. It's * at best.
However, if you're watching it for the novelty of seeing Edge and Christian before they became big stars, it's a fairly interesting match. They had already developed some of the flashy double team moves that they would utilize as multi-time WWF Tag Team Champions. However, their basics were sorely lacking, as they stuck with banal wristlocks and little more. It seems odd that they would develop backwards, getting their big moves down early and spicing up their mid-match moves later down the road. It truly goes to show that people need to have the basics down in order to become true stars in the wrestling business.
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 4 Highest Star Rating: *3/4 Lowest Star Rating: * Average Star Rating: *
As somebody who was watched a lot of professional wrestling, I wasn't particularly thrilled by the matches on this compilation. As I've already made abundantly clear by this point, there was just far too little in-ring storytelling for my taste. However, if you're an individual who has not seen a lot of modern day indy wrestling and wants to get introduced to the individuals who are currently tearing up Ring of Honor and TNA, the Slam Bam series is a good way to do it without spending a whole lot of money.
