The FlipSide Wrestling Report 12.31.2005
Posted by Ryan K. Boman on 12.31.2005
Great thoughts for the upcoming New Year. Trust me.
Tonight, a lot of you will drink yourselves into oblivion celebrating the arrival of 2006. Many of you same people are amateur drinkers, and will no doubt make complete asses of yourselves. It's a sad fact of life that holidays like this one (and St. Patrick's Day) produce people who seemingly come out of the woodwork to do some serious imbibing.
As a professional drunk, let me just say this: Don't touch the hard stuff. It always turns out to be bad news. Not only for you, but the guys sitting next to you.
On every holiday like this one, some rookie barfly thinks they have the stones to shoot some Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. Some idiot who has never drank before thinks they are going to drink everyone else under the table. Some guy who wants to tell me endless stories about his girlfriend or his dog or his mother will get trashed enough to actually think I'm interested in what he has to say. Then, I will eventually drive that guy home, or to a buddy's house, or to the local police precinct. And that will be the kick-off to 2006.
That's why I'm staying home for New Year's.
Having said all that, I hope you are all safe tonight, and that you handle your booze accordingly. I will reiterate once again, if you normally don't drink, don't touch the hard liquor. You'll regret it in the morning. Now, let's get to this week's report:
TNA was mentioned on the latest edition of WWE Byte This. A caller said "TNA is better than WWE" at the end of his call. Host Todd Grisham cut him off and said "then why are you calling our show, retard? Call TNA's show ... if they have one ... which I doubt. I think it airs, uh, Sunday night ... at 4am ... in Japan." The segment has been removed from the archived version of the show: Straight from our news board. This cracks me up for about a million reasons, so I led with it today. Amazing that WWE considers TNA to be so insignificant that they have to edit a mere mention of them out of their archived internet show. I'm starting to wonder if Vince and Company are looking in the rear view mirror a bit. Also, it was good PR for Grisham to refer to the caller as a ‘retard'. WWE continues to just bring in the fans, don't they?
Booker T Injured: Strained groin. Out 4-6 weeks. How many times have you seen this guy hurt, though? He seems to keep himself in remarkable shape and maintains a hell of a schedule. Booker's still one of my favorite athletes ever in the business, and I hope he recovers and can get back on track.
Big Show has a "broken" hand: As always, Triple H continues to play the role of bastard heel on RAW. In our latest turn of events, he has injured the Big Show with the most ridiculous sledgehammer shot of all time. This will no doubt have an effect on their upcoming confrontation, and I'm sure that Show will be at a "major disadvantage" when they meet.
TNA needs to sign Samoa Joe: The report is that TNA is "dragging their feet" in signing Joe to a long-term deal. I don't understand this as Joe is not only one of TNA's legitimate big guys, but he is also someone that they have groomed as a major player. I'll be honest, I was a serious doubter of this guy when he first came to TNA, and he has changed my view of him considerably. His matches have been superb, and his development as a storyline badass in the company is noteworthy. Dixie Carter and her minions need to lock this guy up immediately.
Sexual Harassment in WWE: Melina thinks Dave Batista may have taken advantage of her. My only questions are... Why am I writing about this crap? Didn't a former washed-up referee kill himself recently? Shouldn't we be talking about that?
Hangover Cures for January 1st, 2006: Alka Seltzer, Scrambled Eggs, and Toast always work. In some extreme cases, you may want to just crack open a beer at about 8 AM. Sometimes it never hurts to have a little bit of the hair of the dog that bit you.
What a wonderful week for wrestling news. In all honesty, nothing actually happened. WWE launched a few stupid storylines, and TNA makes bad decisions about their talent. So, it was (basically) business as usual. We here at 411 probably made up some news, as a matter of fact. That's how slow it's been. I'm not sure if that's illegal or not, but we do it. Oh, it's true. It's damn true.
Best wishes for the New Year, and send as much feedback as possible.
