Hidden Highlights 01.01.06: Issue #18
Posted by Prag-Thomlison on 01.01.2006
JT is back from vacation and he’s bursting at seams with Hidden Highlights! Plus, JP has escaped the clutches of the Ghost of Chanukah Past and is ready with a few in depth Hidden Highlights of his own.
Hidden Highlights
By JP Prag and James "JT" Thomlison
Issue #18
Intro
Hello everyone in the year 2006, and welcome back to Hidden Highlights!!
Hidden Highlights is designed to look at the wrestling we watch each and every week and point out all of those understated things that go into making the shows great. This could be anything from a wrestler making a facial expression to an announcer talking about the history of a belt to the production guy timing fireworks just right. There are just so many unsung heroes of wrestling that it is impossible to cover them all. So every week we will take the top 3 Hidden Highlights from the top 3 wrestling shows on television (and maybe a PPV or television special if there was one. Nope, not this time around!).
Who are we? Well, I'm the One and Only JP, and you might recognize me better as the ultimate defender of the truth for In Defense Of…! My cohort in crime is the venerable and often underappreciated Byte This! recapper James "JT" Thomlison! Together we are the most positive duo to ever step foot in the IWC… if stepping foot into an imagery realm made up of a mass network of computers and people sitting in their mom's basement were possible.
Still, we bring you Hidden Highlights with one goal in mind: to appreciate all those subtle bits that make a huge difference. JT?
JT: Well, I think this week proved that I am in fact the meat and potatoes of Hidden Highlights.
JP: What are you babbling about now?
JT: Well, how many emails did we get this week?
JP: To our shared account? Ummmm... we got 2?
JT: Ashish does not count! How many did we get from readers?
JP: .....(sigh).... none… but that's bec—
JT: EXACTLY! No JT, no feedback! Thus, I clearly am the glue that holds this together, as well as all the pieces that said glue holds.
JP: ...it was only because the feedback link went to my email, not ours! I have all the e-mail in my inbox!
JT: Oh… umm… well… [puts on delusional hat]… Whatever helps you sleep at night, good buddy!
JP: In all honesty, JT, the article just wasn't the same without you (and me, I guess). Glad to have you back and ready to give some definitive Hidden Highlights! So what have you been up to during your vacation? You know I was visited by the Ghost of Chanukah Past?!
JT: I was bored all week, and then I felt guilty about missing last week so I wanted to make up it. You just do RAW and I've got everything else covered. Don't argue with me because I've already started!
JP: So let me get this straight? You want me to write about a page of material and let you do all the work and still get most of the credit?
JT: Well, when you put it that way…
JP: Too late! It's a deal! No takey-backsies!
JT: Takey-backsies?……… I got way too drunk during my vacation…
JP: That you did! But I'll be nice and maybe add a little something something to this.
Of course, before in engaging in Hidden Highlights, be sure to read:
JT's ByteThis! Report featuring Simon Dean! In what was honestly quite a funny episode.
JP: You know I really don't like you trying to influence the vote, but if you must...
JT: GUILTY! ...don't get me wrong. HHH gets a lot more shit that he deserves thrown his way, but still - McMahons include ALL McMahons, even Stephanie. And I will in no way cut that Hellspawn a break.
JP: But it wasn't abo—
JT: I don't care! Why don't you try defending everything SHE's done. Hell, try defending what she's done in the last six months alone! Midgets, the Boogeyman, the Tim White suicide ang—
JP: Don't give me any ideas! I have things lined up that will make you cry like… well, you. By the way, you know EVERY TIME you or any of the other writers have voted against me, I've won the case, right?
JT: Your point?
JP: Nothing, nothing… Can we get started please?
JT: Yes, I think I'm back in HH form.
Now on with those Hidden Highlights!
Hidden Highlights for TNA Impact: Saturday, December 24, 2005 by JT
JT: That's right people. I spent the entire day hosting the ENTIRE family, on Christmas Eve no less, and still managed to tune in and catch Impact. Because here at Hidden Highlights, holidays are nothing more than days off to complete our columns for you. You're welcome. Happy and Merry whatever it is you celebrate.
(3) Santa pays someone a visit:
There were a million things I loved about the opening segment with "Santa" and Christian Cage. The pants, the wig, the catchphrase, the promo in general, all of it. But you all saw that, and there was nothing Hidden about what a funny promo it was. What I'd like to focus on is Christian's final gift from Santa. A guitar. A ridiculously smaller than usual guitar. Now, some may say that means nothing. I happen to believe it was done on purpose. It helped sell the fact that Christian Cage's character is not very concerned about Jeff Jarrett. Having the miniature guitar sends a message that Jarrett is "small-time", that he is a "small worry", and that his title reign's life has a "small lifespan left". Nice job of using props to humiliate someone he obviously takes very lightly.
(2) Kayfabe? What the hell is kayfabe?:
During the Abyss vs. Chris Sabin match, Dave Hebner came out in TNA gear with a clipboard of sorts, and appeared to be taking notes or checking things or doing something of that nature. This was very confusing to Mike Tenay, who - while in the middle of calling the match - said "did I miss a memo around here". Announcers say things similar to this quite often, and rarely do we catch them. Mike was completely selling the fact that the show is in no way scripted, and even men as involved with the inner workings as he is are often "left out of the loop" if you will. Nice job by Tenay of reminding us that occasionally, kayfabe does still exist.
(1) Wait... we get the whole match?:
After Christian Cage and Chris Harris had made their way down to the ring for their match, Spike TV went to a commercial. It was only after the commercial break had ended that the ref started the match. This is an EXCELLENT job by the production staff (and it was also sold by Mike Tenay) of realizing that people don't want their matches interrupted by commercials. RAW does this ALL the time, as does SmackDown!. I know SD! is taped, but they still cut out some of the match during a commercial break just so that Tazz and Cole can say "look what happened during the break", to give it that live feel. I don't need a live feel. I know it's taped. Nice job by TNA of "delaying" the start of the match so that the fans "watching live at home" wouldn't miss anything.
JP: I hate to start off this way, but since I've been ding-doinging around the country I haven't had a chance to catch up to TNA Impact yet. It's all on my TIVO. The only show I watched during my one day home was this one…
Hidden Highlights for WWE RAW: Monday, December 26, 2005 by JP
JP: I still haven't finished watching tribute to the troops, but when I do we'll go back to that episode for Classic because I'd like to point out some Hidden Highlights that I saw! For now, though, it was RAW! The show started off slow, then got great, and then left me scratching my head (wasn't Mr. McMahon watching the Bret Hart DVD? So when he gave that kid in the audience the DVD, was he just giving him an empty box since he left the DVD in his player?). But in between, there were a ton of wonderful Hidden Highlights! And although I'd like to do nothing but dedicate them to Carlito (because he was on FIRE. What can I say? I'm a sucker for poetry.), I'm afraid there is more we need to cover.
(3) It's a ref thing:
Although wrestling has predetermined results (re: don't ever use the word "fake" with me. Read Randle's injury report every week and then try to use the word "fake"), as you all know I love to see it treated like a real sport. During the Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero match, Masters had Chavo outside the ring and was beating him down pretty severely. Then, referee James Henderson yelled at Masters, "MASTERS! You can't win it outside the ring!" It was such an effective thing to do! A referee should actually be refereeing the match, not just waiting to count the pin fall and help the wrestlers transition moves or take orders from the back. Good job to you, James Henderson, in remember the role you are supposed to play.
(2) In this TNA?:
During the John Cena vs. Shelton match, the crowd began a split chant of "Let's go Cena" "Let's go Shelton" which was awesome. I was completely dumbstruck and thought for a moment the TNA audience had invaded the arena (I did like how the audience yelled out TNA when Mr. McMahon asked Shawn where he would go). But unlike TNA, we are talking about 10,000 people, and that's hard to get a split chant going. What I noticed more so was that the chants were not coming from everywhere at once. Bear with me here. You see, when there have been spit chants in the past in the WWE, the chants come from all over the arena so it's a mixed sound all around. But not this time. There was a part of the arena that was chanting for Cena and another part that was chanting for Shelton. Even more then that, the voices chanting for Cena were high pitched while the ones for Shelton were deeper. That's when I noticed it. I had to rewind almost the entire show to be sure, but it was true. During Cena's match, there were a whole ton of KIDS in the front row! Some of them are there during the entire show, but not most of them! The kids all came running down to the front to see their hero John Cena, and when the chants started they were all congregated together near the front, making their voices louder. Simply an amazing discovery showing how into Cena the kids (IE, the large merchandise buyers, thank you Cook. Oh, and to those people on the message boards, children are the high spending demographic with money, not the grown-ups. See me in business school next week) are while the twenty and thirty-somethings are mean spirited smarks. When Cena's match was over, the kids returned to their normal seats throughout the arena. How very interesting indeed.
(1) Ok, so I lied:
All right, did you really think I was not going to give my top Hidden Highlight to Carlito? During his poem, Carlito had some beads or tinsel or something wrapped around his neck, all decked out in holiday spirit. And then, as he get to the end of his poem and gets set to leave, what does he do? He take the thing around his neck and throws it over his shoulder, as if he were wearing a scarf! I laughed so hard at that. Of course, someone as cool and trendy and classy as Carlito would wear a scarf that way. Kudos to you, Carlito, for using your decoration as another hilarious moment in what your character is.
JT:"[W]asn't Mr. McMahon watching the Bret Hart DVD? So when he gave that kid in the audience the DVD, was he just giving him an empty box since he left the DVD in his player?"
Ahhhh... you and your continuity. At least you're consistent. To answer your question JP, it's no. The DVD he threw into the crowd was in fact sealed. Way to pay attention there. As for your RAW HH, I knew the millisecond I saw that from Carlito you were using it. Again, that good ol' continuity of yours. I also liked the ref one's. As much heat as they take for their "being distracted" and "ref bumps", it's about time we show them some love!
JP: I was very close to not using that Carlito one and giving it to Matt Striker for calling John Cena and Kurt Angle "Jonathan" and "Curtis" for several reasons: (1) It was hilarious, (2) it played perfectly into his obnoxious teacher character, (3) it reminded me of Chris Jericho and the way he used to play with names, and (4) those aren't their names! John and Kurt are short for nothing, those are those two's given names! That's just too funny.
JT: Did-did you just sneak in a fourth HH?
JP: Errr… umm…
JT: Didn't you just yell at Larry about doing that last week?
JP: Hey! This isn't about me! You have some SmackDown! Hidden Highlights to do!
Hidden Highlights for WWE SmackDown!: Friday, December 30, 2005 by JT
JT: Because of the new 411 setup, I was busy trying to figure out how in the hell to post my ByteThis! recap. Thus, I wasn't paying that much attention to SmackDown! Friday night. Fortunately, I have a recorder that works (*achem*), so all is well in the land of Hidden Highlights!
(3) Eddie, you are not forgotten:
At the end of the MexiCools vs. The Dicks, a fan held up a sign that said "I lie, I cheat, I steal". This was the ONLY time I saw this sign all night. To me , I found it enjoyable because of the fact that Eddie was Mexican. You see, by showing that sign with the MexiCools out there, it made you spend the 7 seconds of brain activity to make you think of the association. It made you say to yourself "Oh yeah, Eddie was Mexican", as well as the fact he has a history with the MexiCools; and - for me at least - that thought alone had sparked enough interest in me to spend a good two minutes remembering the goodness that was Eddie Guerrero. Had I have just seen it randomly during the show, I don't think this would have been the case. Good job by that fan of using the sign at the time where it would make the most impact on anybody seeing it.
(2) The next great announcer?:
Booker T came out to join the announce team for the Benoit vs. Orton match. Now, usually... no... ANYTIME a wrestler comes out to join the announce team, all they do hype themselves up, talk shit about whoever their currently feuding with, and shooting the shit with the announcers. Well, not Booker T. He has eluded before about possibly being an announcer one day, and if you ask me, he would do a fine job. He was actually ANNOUNCING. He was calling some play-by-play, he was unbiased towards the wrestlers (until the end), he was referencing wrestling history ("made famous by Bret Hart"), he was showing knowledge of their location ("down here in the land of the Tuskon sun"); he was even doing color commentary ("referee do your job!"). It was even a nice little touch that he was selling his injury throughout the whole thing. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Booker "call" this match. Hopefully, when he retires, Vince will put him on the announce table. They have three guys on RAW, why not three on SD!
(1) Ah, the joys of grade school:
Our final Hidden Highlight actually came in the first 30 seconds of the show. I hate to award two to the same man, but I couldn't ignore either HH. So. During the opening segment, Booker was arguing his case, and he says "Teddy, you talked to my doctor; you saw my doctor's excuse". You hear that? "Doctor's Excuse". Not "Medical Report", not "Doctor's Diagnosis", but "Doctors Excuse". When I heard this, I had to chuckle, and it took me right back to 8th grade. Now people, who exactly makes up over half of the fan base? That's right, kids; more specifically, kids aged 8 – 18. And what do you need if you miss school? Yup, a "doctor's excuse". Kids currently in school know about it, and adults who used to be in school know about it. Nice job by Booker of using a term that EVERYONE would relate to, not just some fancy, adult medical jarga.
JP: For the record, my new TIVO from my swanky satellite company works just fine, thank you, and I look forward to using it to watch SmackDown! when I get back from Arizona and before I leave for Florida… wait, that might not be physically possible…
Reader Write-in Hidden Highlight of the week
By the way, we aren't just doing this article for our health. We want to make you the reader a more active and attentive viewer, and one who appreciates the hard work that goes into making all of the wrestling we have the privilege to watch. So don't just sit there and stare, but take in everything that goes in to making the product this great, and tell us about it!
This week JT gets to pick our Reader Write-in Hidden Highlights of the week. Please keep in mind that any reader write-in for SmackDown! applies to LAST week's show, because nobody is going to get it in on time for Friday's column.
JT: We'll first focus on people that actually matter, but then, we have an issue to resolve. *GENERAL WARNING*:: some parts of the following Reader Write-in Hidden Highlights may be edited for grammar, spelling, and English translation…
Our good buddy Ori finally chimed in after a busy December, and he's a little late, but he's good people so we're going to let him slide. His Hidden Highlight is from the SmackDown! in UK from a few weeks ago:
I am saying nothing about JBL's shirt, but I will about his Rolls Royce. They were in England, and they didn't forget that, so the driver was on the right side of the car. Plus of course, it was a Rolls Royce.
JT: I'd say I caught this, but I'd be a liar. And, despite it being a "Hidden" Highlight, it was probably pretty obvious to anyone doing their job and paying attention. Apparently, I had company that night... or was drunk... or busy with a really important matter... or something. I'm guessing option B. Good stuff Ori.
Then Nick reminds us why a certain someone has had one of the best years of all when it comes to HH:
One more great HH from that The Big Show / HBK match two weeks ago. At the start, TBS starts cornering Michaels. The ref wanders over to the left side of Shawn, and Michaels quickly shoos him away as if to say 'You're taking away one of my paths of escape.' In my opinion, another great HH to underscore what Shawn's mindset in that match.
JT: Shawn has been spotlighted several times in our column, and it's because he's one of the best in the business when it comes to "entertaining", which is what we're all about! Good catch, Nick.
Then our buddy Todd chimed in with some goodness:
You guys missed a hidden highlight for Turning Point. During the Joe and AJ match when AJ hit the Styles Clash, When AJ rolled him over he knew Joe would be kicking out, so what does he do, he makes it look like his mistake by not hooking both arms.
JT: I have to be honest. I don't know if I'm confused or not understanding this, but I have absolutely no clue on earth what in the Hell Todd is talking about. But, Todd is usually pretty good with his catches, so I'm put it out there for intelligent people unlike myself who might actually get it.
JP: Todd was saying that instead of rolling over and holding Joe's arms down like he normally does, AJ left his arms loose. This is what allowed Joe to break out of the pin attempt: because AJ hadn't hooked him like he normally does. It's a way that AJ saves face but Joe still looks strong.
JT: I still don't get it…
JP: I'll explain it after the show. By the way, since we didn't do any of this year-end stuff that everyone is doing, I liked that you used our reader write-in section to spotlight some older ones we have not had a chance to catch up with. Good stuff. But you said there was something else?
JT: That there is! Now we have...
Reader Write-in Hidden Highlight of the week, Supplemental
Apparently, a certain writer by the name of John Meehan thinks he actually has something on us... like we'd let that slide. You've seen it coming, and finally, it's starting, as he had this to say:
A mention without a PLUG? Sheesh… what am I, chopped liver?
Ah no matter… the "forum legend" comment more than makes up for it. I'm diggin' the slow-burn to our eventual IWC "most positive" showdown. Just WAIT till the MeeWorldOrder invades The Little Things… err, I mean "the Hidden Highlights." Oh it's true, it's DAMN true. And just WAIT for that positive look at the boogeyman I have on tap for January 17th.
Meethinks you're like... the Meijer brand of Hidden Highlights"
JT - Hidden Highlights
Act: Right now, Scene: As I'm typing this
JP, kindly tell Sally how it is, before he starts jobbing to us every week.
JP: Hahaha, JT, that was so unnecessary. We totally trounced him and his "positivity" argument last week when he got the Last Word thanks to Ghost of Chanukah Past.
JT: I knew you'd be nice to him...
Meehan: I'd like a rebutta—
JT: Save your rebuttals for your own column, rookie... assuming it even gets posted. This is the big boys side of the playground!
Meehan: ...but I—
JP: I'd watch out, Meehan, JT is a Street Boss to the lowly Soldiers like you, me, and Cook.
JT: Enough! JP, please continue.
JP: Please continue what? You volunteered to write every section this week, remember? I'm just here for commentary and this:
Do you have a Hidden Highlight of the week? Or a Classic Hidden Highlight that you would like to share? Please e-mail JP..erT…er…us at jpjthidden@yahoo.com with your thoughts! Send them by Friday afternoon to be considered! And remember, they can be from any show, live or taped, or any house show, or anything you saw… we just like to know!
And speaking of Classic Hidden Highlights…
Classic Hidden Highlight
Every week we take a look into the past and remember something that was done to make a show that much better. Well, sometimes we don't remember, but you remember for us. Anyway, without further ado JT presents the Classic Hidden Highlight of the week:
Wardrobe malfunctions! In a good way:
SummerSlam 1999 is the site for this week's Classic Hidden Highlight. There was a Tag turmoil match involving Edge / Christian, Hardy Boyz, Acolytes, Droz / Prince Albert, Viscera / Mideon, and the Holly Cousins. The first two teams to come out where E & C, and the Hardys. So what happened? All four charged the ring, and started going at it. None that unusual for these two teams. What I found unusual was that three out of the four competitors kept their shirt on for a good five minutes to start the match. To me, this sold not only the rivalry between these two specific teams, but the overall importance of what type of match this was. No time for shirt removal. No time for rope climbing and crowd acknowledgment. No time for eyeballing your opponent down. It was all of them collectively saying "This is a bitch of a match, we've got a long way to go, and it starts with you". Nice job by all three parties involved of selling the focus necessary to win a match the likes of a Tag Team Turmoil match.
JP: I love tornado style matches in general. Why does everything have to go regular match, blood match, crazy gimmick match? What happened to simple things like tornado style or three-tiered cages where the object was to fight your way through the levels, get the title, and then fight your way down? Wait… that last one wasn't so simple…
That Other Section
That Other Section is an idea, a free forum for a few things that just don't have a place. It could be Read Between the Lines where we'll look at a news bite in more detail. It may just be a Pointless Question trying to connect the unconnected dots. You might read a Hidden Highlights Profile where we explore one of the masters of Hidden Highlights (like Chris Jericho) and explain what they do right. It could even be some additional Hidden Highlights, or something else entirely. And sometimes, it might not exist at all. Hey, if we don't have anything to talk about, why force it?
This week, JP has something for That Other Section.
What is a Hidden Highlight? (Part 1 of 3): Telling the Difference
JP: JT and I talk a lot about being the most positive article in the IWC—
Meehan: THAT VOTE WAS RIGGED!
JP: Someone restrain that man!
JT-Robot: Done and done.
JP: I'm glad I stole that thing from Larry and reprogrammed it. Now, as I was saying, we aren't just about being positive, we are about being positive in the context of Hidden Highlights. Well, what do I mean?
Anyone can say, "I liked that match between Chris Benoit and Rey Mysterio. It was action packed and full of cool spots!"
That's nice. That's a great positive statement. It's something Meehan would say. But that's not what we are about here in Hidden Highlights. What was the little thing that made a big difference or made the match more enjoyable? Now this is the Hidden Highlight:
"During the Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio match, Chris spent the entire match working on Rey's legs. I thought this was odd since Benoit usually goes for the crippler cross-face and works on the back and neck. But when he won the match with the sharpshooter, I realized what was going on! Rey Mysterio already knows the counter for the cross-face and can escape it any time he wants. So Benoit came into the match knowing he had to change his game plan. Going after Mysterio's legs holds a two-fold purpose: One, it sets up for the sharpshooter to finish off the match and, two, it limited Rey's offence to being with. You see, Rey is dependent on his aerial moves and the ropes, so Benoit was able to keep Mysterio down and grounded. Kudos to you, Benoit, to thinking like a wrestler."
See the difference? Or it might be this one:
"As I was watching the Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio match, I noticed that every time he was on his back, Mysterio went to pull his mask down before he kicked out. That's when I remembered that Benoit had been trying to get the mask off of Mysterio, and that Mysterio was more concerned with losing his identity then losing the match. Good one by Mysterio to stay in the storyline and not just go through the wrestling moves."
And again, it could be this:
"When Mysterio and Benoit were pulling off move after move, I noticed something was missing from my screen. It was referee Charles Robinson! Where had he gone off to? That's when I noticed he was in the corner of the screen just watching with awe. It's good to see the people involved in the action just get caught up in the fun themselves and forget what they are doing. After all, we all started off as fans, right?"
Hidden Highlights is about pointing out the positive that isn't obvious, about watching the background and thinking about the past. It's also about zoning in on a particular moment, maybe one we all saw but did not think much about. And also Hidden Highlights is about giving the spotlight to people who don't have any. The cameraman, the ring announcers, the production guys, the photographers, the grips—all of these people play a pivotal role in the show that goes without praise. We here in Hidden Highlights recognize those accomplishments.
So the next time you are writing in to us or writing an article of your own, think not just about what you liked, but why you liked it. Above all that, though: What was that one little moment that made you smile, laugh, or stare with awe? What was that bit of a segment that made you stop in your tracks or do a double take? What was that spec of time that you almost missed that you are glad you caught? If you can answer any or all of those questions, you've found your Hidden Highlight.
JT: They do say great mind think alike, and I actually have something a little similar - or at least in the same realm - of that coming up. So what's next?
JP: Well, in Part 2 I'm going to give a run-down of some of those named awards we give (and some that we still haven't given out) and why they are named after certain people, events, and organizations. And then in Part 3 I'm going to expand on Hidden Highlights and show how to use it in everyday life and other forms of media entertainment.
JT: Sounds spiffy! Just glad I don't have to write Read Between the Lines anymore! That was a bitch.
JP: I agree. I don't know what I was thinking there!
JT: Now, don't be THAT hard on yourself, we're supposed to be positive here!
On second though, that may indeed be the stupidest idea you've ever had, and will probably remain so unless you decide to defend the Boogeyman.
JP: I already warned you about giving me ideas!
JT: Don't you even think about it! Anyway, I want to do something for That Other Section!
Pointless Question of the Week
JP: Uh, JT? You really didn't have to… I mean, it's just extra—
JT: I know, but my question is REALLY pointless! And you made me think of it!
JP: ....very well...
JT: Wooooo!
Last week Randle asked you the question:
Is JT's irrational hatred of The Boogeyman a legitimate symptom of a troubled childhood, or just an poorly thought-out attempt to copy my hatred of Randy Orton?
JT: First, to answer that, no and no. For one, my childhood was great, and for two, who in the Hell would want to be like you? And I will forever win because Randy Orton, despite what you say, will never EVER be as bad and intolerable as the Boogeyman. Just picture that big gold belt Orton has held around the waist of the Boogeyman with worms hanging off of it... exactly. Now, ont—
Randle: Whatever you say, Orton is the Anti-Christ.
JT: We get it! Trying to work here!
Randle: You brought it up!
JT: And oh how sorry I am that I did, now go away!
Randle: Prick.
JT: Asshole.
JP: Get on with the question already!
JT: Fine! This week's completely unnecessary and utterly pointless question is:
If you gain 10 pounds over the holidays, and then drink so much on New Years Eve that you lose 10 pounds by throwing up for two days, was the Pumpkin Pie still as good as you remember it?
Think about it...
Last Page
The Last Page is where we get to express something else positive in the world of wrestling. For myself, JP, it is most likely an In Defense Of… Mini-Case. For JT, it's most likely time for a Bi-weekly Rant! Who knows? Well, actually, you do…
JT forgot to put a title in here so JP wrote one making fun of him. What? That's the joke! Laugh damn it!
By James "JT" Thomlison
The Happy New Year Edition.
Well, it's certainly been an interesting year in the world of professional wrestling. From people we thought had huge potential no longer being in the business to people we'd never heard of who are seemingly headed to the top. Crazy storylines, iffy booking, the death of one of our favorites; oh yes, it has been quite an interesting twelve months.
Of course, it was also an interesting year here at 411. We had another Diva Se...er... Rant Wars, plenty of new additions to the staff, and of course, Csonka took over the world. We've changed our formats a little, expanded the zones, and have all and all grown more and more into a one big happy family... except Randle, fuck him.
And how could we forget the debut of the column you're currently enjoying... at least, we hope you're currently enjoying - Hidden Highlights: THE Most Positive Column on the IWC (eat a ****, Meewhore), where myself and JP have given sight to the blind, and shed light on the dark. Each and every week, we take a look at all the little things that make wrestling the enjoyable experience it is... or at least the enjoyable experience that it can be.
It is with that in mind that I would like to say that I hope you had a Merry Christmas; a "positive" Christmas, and I hope you have a Happy New Year; a "positive" New Year. JP touched it beautifully in his Part 1 of "That Other Section". When reflecting on the year that was 2006 in the world of wrestling, please, PLEASE, try to stay positive. Don't think of anal surgery, n-words, Jarrett's belt hogging or child custody feuds. Think of Angle vs. Michaels; think of One Night Stand, the emergence of Samoa Joe, and the promise of an entertaining 2006.
JP and myself are here because we want you to enjoy wrestling. When the clearly obvious things can seem a bit redundant, stupid and questionable, it is very important to remember this. The guys you watch each and every week (most of them) have devoted their lives to being on the road, ignoring their families, risking their lives, and doing so for a (again, most of them) mediocre-to-decent paycheck. But the real reason they do it is to entertain you. They do it because they love the sport, love the business, but also, love the FANS. And for that, you should always try to find the minor positives in what can sometimes be major negatives.
All in all kids, stay positive, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and thanks for spending your Sundays with us.
And the Response
JP: That was very heart-felt and touching and I have nothing left to add. Well, except for one thing… HOW COULD YOU WISH ME A MERRY CHRISTMAS?!?! DID YOU NOT READ LAST WEEK'S ISSUE?!
And what about our Islamic readers? Or Hindu? Or even the atheists. Everyone wished people a happy holiday, but what about those people who celebrate NO holidays. Huh? Huh? Huh?
JT: JP!!!!
JP: WHAT?!?!?!
JT: Calm down, buddy. Remember, new year, happy feelings, positivity?
JP: JT, you are so right. Deep breath…
I'm sorry everyone. Have a safe, happy, and healthy New Year and I really do mean it!
Exit, stage left!
JT: Wait, have we sucked up yet?
JP: Sucked up?
JT: Yeah, you know, so that Larry feels all warm and fuzzy and doesn't get a hair up his ass?
JP: Oh, I get it. This is how you became a Street Boss. You see, I don't suck up.
JT: Well I do:
Okay, I'm done here. Loyal readers - Happy New Year, and thank you for spending your 2005 with us. Also, thank you for joining us today for Hidden Highlights, the *second* official wrestling column of 2006; because you know Larry will have his Impact! report up at 1:30 so he can add *first* official wrestling column of 2006 to his long list of vaguely-noticeable accomplishments.
Larry: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
JT: ...at any rate. JP, it has been a pleasure working with you thus far, and I look forward to 2006. Happy New Year.
JP: Happy New Year to you, too! Like I said, I'm glad to have you on board, and thanks for agreeing to come on this crazy little ride of ours. I'm really looking forward to seeing what we'll do in 2006.
Cook: Oh, we all know what YOU TWO are doing!
JP: For God's sake… Is this how this year is going to begin?
Thanks for joining us for the eighteenth issue of Hidden Highlights. Be sure to drop us a line and let us know what you think and all the other Hidden Highlights we missed. Plus, we want to hear your Reader Write-ins and Classic Hidden Highlights for all the moments you see this and every week.
We'll catch you again next time for the most positive article in all of the IWC: Hidden Highlights! Until then!
