The 10th Day News Report for 1.4.05
Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 01.04.2006
Bret Hart can go to hell, sit on a hot coal and wait for me until it snows.
I don't think I mentioned that I got the WWE handheld game for Christmas that plugs into the front of your TV. I thought it might be N64 level quality, it's more NES quality. It's fun for about five minutes. You have nine different guys to choose from, including Eddie Guerrero, Eugene, JBL, Randy Orton, Batista, John Cena, Booker T, Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. My favorite thing thus far is making JBL do the Superfly Splash. I would advise not getting it. Invest in an old copy of WCW Thunder instead.
MAILBAG
"I don't really want to see a Vince vs. Bret match at Wrestle and I don't think anyone else does either."
I'll get straight to the point....if there was a Bret vs. Vince match at Wrestlemania it would single handily draw record amount of buys....not only can Bret bring a good match out of Vince, but the whole story (Montreal, personal heat, put Shawn as the ref....oh my gosh) and the promos leading up to it would be uncanny....
A DAMN LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO WATCH IT...!!! PERIOD
BRET VS VINCE....I would drool over that...(although I would rather see BRET vs. KURT)
-Charbel
I think a lot of people would be intrigued to see that and it would be a hot match, but I still question if that's a match that fans really WANT to see. As you noted, you would much rather see Hart vs. Angle and so would I. There are a lot of guys in WWE now that I think would match up well with Bret, like Shelton Benjamin, or he could get good matches out of, like Batista. You also have to factor in that Bret is recovering from a stroke and hasn't stepped into a ring in many years. Vince has always given surprising in ring performances, his match versus Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania was tons better than it had any right to be. So that match might wind up surprising where Vince carries Bret. That will get me letters. I also don't think that is a match that Bret would consent too. I see him consenting to job to an up and comer like Chris Masters or Ken Kennedy before he steps into a ring to beat McMahon or Shawn Michaels.
Now this was a much more intelligent rebuttal than Live Amo who just said I was a "fucking idiot" and questioned how I got a job on the internet writing about wrestling. It's not hard, it's about one step above jizz mopper. So let me clearly state my opinion on a Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon match. Do I think it will draw? Yes. Do I think fans would be interested in seeing it? Yes. Is it a match I want to see? No. Is it a match I think the majority of fans truly want to see deep down, especially in lieu of Bret wrestling someone else currently in the company? No.
Hey man, as an avid wrestling fan and 411mania fan, I ask myself "How did you get that job?" It seems like that all you do is shit on wrestling. I'm sure you know your share of information and trivia and that you are indeed a huge fan of wrestling. But in your 10th Day News Reports, it seems to me that all you do is talk about how much the WWE is suffering now. I'll agree that they are having trouble with some creative teams over there but there doesn't need to be a whole article every week or whatever telling me that. There are a good number of wrestlers in there today that I think will prevail to be huge superstars. Carlito is one. I think he has the potential to be champ one day. Maybe not now but sometime down the road. Just look at how HHH started in the WWE. Nobody expected much from him. One other thing, How could you not like Bret Hart? He was the most technically sound wrestler of his time. But opinion is opinion I guess. Also do me a favor and mention me in your article. That'd be sweet even if you make me out be a "heel".
Later
-Sean, NY
You criticize me then ask for me to give you a shout out. How do you live with yourself? That's like going up to Triple H, telling him he sucks but asking for his autograph. It is a cliché that the internet wrestling community is overly critical, especially of WWE. I would like to think that I mock that attitude more than embody it, but I know that is a thin line. The past couple weeks we've been talking about how I'm about the only guy on the ‘net who will defend Triple H. I try to thread in positive comments, I point out what I like on RAW as much as what I don't. I think the news blurbs can be a bit more snarky, but that is the nature of the beast. I certainly don't think WWE is as good as they were earlier this year in quality of product, but they are light years ahead of 2003. I've really enjoyed most of the new guys that have come up recently and feel they have a lot of potential, such as Ken Kennedy, Bobby Lashley and the Boogeyman. Yes, I love the Boogeyman. Carlito I felt also had great potential when he first came up and he has a great personality, but he hasn't really shown me a lot in the ring nor has had that one killer program to really highlight himself. The programs with Cena, Flair and Benjamin didn't feel like they really reached fruition.
As far as Bret Hart goes, I found him to be very repetitive and bland in the ring. I've seen him dog matches. You can say that Flair is repetitive, but he never dogs a match and has such an energy to him. I do want to pick up the new Bret Hart DVD and might get that for my birthday in a couple weeks. I hope it gives me a new appreciation for him as the Road Warriors set did for them. I recognize that he was a great wrestler, a hard worker, a student of the sport, he caught some bad breaks that I have sympathy for him for, but he was never a personal favorite. I much preferred Owen, because Owen did have a certain energy and joy to him while wrestling and he always gave 100%.
I have a funny feeling about this Shawn/Vince feud.
Do you think its possible that it could play out this way?:
Vince antagonizes Michaels for a while. Shawn gets pushed to the breaking point. Then under the rationale that he "always does what's right for the company" he decides that Vince is drunk with power. He ends up reforming a version of DX to be a thorn in Vince's side. Maybe Shawn, HHH (although Vince would have to pick on HHH for a while to make it viable) and two other guys. Maybe Carlito, maybe Conway, maybe even Cena after he loses the strap. Antagonistic wise asses in the Road Dogg vein. Am I off my Rocker for thinking this?
Even if you don't think this is where they're going with this angle, do you think it's a viable angle?
-Ed
I certainly think that's a viable angle. It's a little different than the other wrestler vs. McMahon angles, because with Austin and Hogan it was this personal power struggle between the two. Here it would be Michaels under the veil that he's doing what is best for WWE, maybe not necessarily himself, and it's Vince who is only concerned with himself. Him hooking back up with Triple H is also not an impossibility, especially if you play it as him also having trouble with Vince. It's the old angle of ‘I hate you, but we both hate this other guy even more.' Then after the angle with Vince is over, you have Triple H turn on Shawn and they can work another program. I don't know if there are a lot of guys in WWE right now who fit the DX kind of mold. Then again Road Dog and Billy Gunn were rebooted through DX, so you could take say Lance Cade and Rob Conway and reinvent them. So, yes the angle could work. What I don't like and I commented on last time is that you are using the Montreal incident to make Shawn a face. Shawn has always been a heel concerning that. He's hated in Canada, he's always made heelish comments concerning it and to trying to make him look like the good guy when he was so much in the wrong doesn't sit well with me. And like I also said last week, we're eight years removed from it and they are still dragging it up. Like Shawn did say to Vince, let it go.
NEWS AND NOTES
You know that disclaimer I usually put here. Just pretend it is.
-After RAW went off the air on Monday Vince McMahon ordered a WWE Title match between Triple H, John Cena and Kurt Angle. Big Show eventually came down to scare off Hunter and Cena hit the FU on Angle to retain. I would like to see a title change hands in a dark match. Just something different. Credit: PWInsider.com
-In your online Heat report, Chavo Guerrero beat Mike Mondo. Gene Snitsky took out Val Venis. The Heartthrobs actually won a match over Fred Sampson and Scotty Charisma. Viscera beat Tyson Tomko. Matt Striker also had another of his classroom segments. Credit: PWInsider.com
-During the Heartthrobs segment former TNA wrestler Trinity and an unidentified blonde woman were at ringside and were invited by the tag team to come into the ring and dance. You know, because we were all starting to wonder about those guys. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Jesse Ventura guested on Donny Deutsch's talk show Monday night. He teased a run for President in 2008, the field will be wide open, but also stated that he was moving out of the US for the time being due to "losing our freedoms" because of the Patriot Act. Seriously, we could do worse than Ventura in the White House. This country after all did elect Warren G. Harding. See, you thought I was going to go with the W slam there. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Rob Eckos played the man attacked by Edge on RAW Monday in the road rage segment. He is an indie worker that at one point tag teamed regularly with Matt Striker. Credit: PWInsider.com
-The woman who debuted on Monday as Shelton Benjamin's mama is stand up comedienne Thea Vidale. She had her own short-lived series "Thea" in 1993 and has had the occasional TV guest spot and small film role. It's odd that WWE would go with someone fairly known outside of wrestling to play the part. They should have gotten Donovan McNabb's mom from the Chunky soup commercials. Then they could run an angle where McNabb is Shelton's brother. And didn't we see Benjamin's mother in the little vignettes they ran last year about his background? Credit: PWInsider.com
-Tommy Suede and Supreme Lee Grant are set for WWE tryout matches at the Smackdown house show in Wilkes Barre, Pa tonight. Both work for WXW run by Wild Samoan Afa. Credit: PWInsider.com
-The February 3rd RAW house show in Lakeland, Fl is advertising John Cena vs. Triple H for the WWE Title and Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair vs. Daivari and Kurt Angle. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Although it has been rumored in the past, new speculation is swarming that Charlie Haas will be returning to WWE soon. He might possibly take part in the Shelton Benjamin angle. Haas' real life wife and former WWE diva Jackie Gayada is currently working for NWA:TNA. Haas has bad mouthed WWE in interviews since being released and said he would only go back to the company if "under his own terms." That's what Matt Hardy said too and look how well he's done. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Former WWE Diva Search Contestant Alexis is on the VH-1 series "Flavor of Love." It's like "The Bachelor" just with Flavor Flav. She made the cut on the debut episode and will be featured again this coming Sunday. With Leyla showing up on "Deal or No Deal" I don't think Vince knew what he was throwing away. I know this is writing, so letting me say to read with sarcasm. Credit: PWInsider.com
-WWE has signed seven foot three inch talent Dalip "Giant" Singh to a developmental contract. Singh was trained at the All Pro Wrestling School in California and has tag teamed in the past with former WWE wrestler Giant Silva. Singh also had a bit part in last year's The Longest Yard remake. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Many online betting websites have Stacy Keibler as the odds on favorite to win the next installment of "Dancing with the Stars" set to start on January 5th. Early press releases and photos have Keibler as the most featured star. She's at 2/1 odds, followed by George Hamilton at 5/1 and Tia Carerre at 11/2. The other sports world contestants are the long shots with Jerry Rice at 12/1 and ESPN sports anchor Kenny Mayne at 14/1. However, PinnacleSports.com is reporting a lot of action on Rice. If you are betting on dancing, I suggest you seek help. Go with the hot chick or the tanned geezer. Credit: TVFrenzy.com
-Kristal Marshall is the new ring announcer for WWE developmental territory Deep South. Mike "the Miz" Mizanin who was the Deep South champion has been officially moved to OVW. Miz has been working RAW house shows and is set to debut in the near future for the main roster. Credit: prowrestling.com
-The death of Eddie Guerrero has reportedly left a hole in the Smackdown locker room. The mood is said not to be the same and there is a lack of leadership. Credit: prowrestling.com
-Samoa Joe injured his ankle at the IWA: Mid South strong style tournament over the weekend. He was unable to continue in the tourney, but is not expected to miss any upcoming dates he has. He was at the Impact! taping last night. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Sting was also at the Impact! tapings and was said to look in great shape and spirits. He was not scheduled to wrestle, but might appear in a segment or two on upcoming shows. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Other reported backstage at the Impact! tapings were Norman Smiley, Homicide and Bill Beherens. Beherens now works for TNA and Homicide is expected to make his in ring debut. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Here is a non-spoiler match listing for the Impact! tapings from last night:
Team 3D vs. Buck Quartermaine and Lex Lovett
Homicide and Apollo vs. The Naturals
Ron Killings vs. Bobby Rude
Austin Aries, Alex Shelley and Roderick Strong vs. AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin
Jeff Jarrett's stable holds a Sting tribute
Abyss vs. Jay Lethal
Samoa Joe vs. Cassidy Riley
A-1, Petey Williams and Eric Young vs. Matt Bentley, Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt
Christian Cage and Rhino vs. America's Most Wanted
The Naturals vs. Bobby Rude and A-1
Ron Killings, Lance Hoyt and Matt Bentley vs. The Diamonds in the Rough
Dory Funk, Jr. was reported to have been in the crowd
Credit: PWInsider.com
RAW THOUGHTS
-I have to side with Coach on this one. All Shawn Michaels did last week was take off his jacket and they are equating it with Washington crossing the Delaware. Maybe he was just hot. Vince basically turned heel last week, but he was still getting a face pop when he came out, so he had to remind the crowd. Now you really can make the argument that Vince has always done what is best for WWE, except maybe the angle where he was boinking Trish. That had to be for him.
-Shawn Michaels has more moves than the superkick. It's like a couple weeks ago when they didn't think John Cena knew any submission moves. I say Shawn locks him in a sleeper and takes it. Although I would totally mark out if he pulled out the Rocker Dropper. Lawler hasn't used the piledriver as a finisher for years. He uses the fist drop now. Ever since WWE kind of nixed piledrivers due to the neck stingers. I'm thinking Michaels should have won that, but maybe they are building to a McMahon vs. Michaels program. I'll keep my thoughts on that to myself.
-Shane Helms looks like Daivari. Why the hell would Lawler hold him down? Is this Memphis? Jerry Lawler should bring in a new guy to face Helms on his behalf and call him El Nino.
-I doubt if Vince McMahon would personally drive John Cena to the hospital. That's how I took it the way Kurt Angle said "YOU'LL have to take Cena to the hospital." Well, he should have said ‘medical facility.'
-What is the physical benefit of running up and down six stairs? I see the visual benefit with bouncing boobies. So Trish runs six stairs four times and now she's going to take a shower? She's asking for it.
-They stole the kiss cam from every fifth inning of every baseball game I've ever been to. I guess the T-shirt cannon became too expensive. Wasn't our old nickname for Christy Hemme T-Shirt Cannon? Nice T-shirt on Victoria. I don't get why she is pissed at Maria. Like Maria is going to help her out against Carlito. Ashley is so great that when she ran out I forgot who she was. At least Christy would catch your eye with that hair and annoyingness.
-I know that women don't read my column and none of you probably have girlfriends, but if you have access to a woman ask if she's ever looked at another woman naked in the shower and said "nice boobs." I think that's a porno fantasy of men.
-Does Lita have a personality anymore or is she just arm candy? That Ric Flair impression by Edge reminds me more of Jeff Jarrett trying to do Ric Flair. I like that he was driving down the road in the ring robe. Another Tully Blanchard reference. I'm waiting for Tully to make a run in. Also notice that Lita is always the one taking the brunt of punishment.
-I know I've been defending Triple H, but he's using worst double speak than a Republican wonk. And still, every Triple H master plan just boils down to him using the sledgehammer. So, Triple H basically admitted in that segment last week that he did need a sledgehammer to take someone out. Triple H says he'll wing it then paces for about twenty seconds. Still, he recovered well. I'm thinking Big Show's doctors would not advise him to be smashing things with that cast. He's like a third tier Marvel villain now.
-Shelton Benjamin's mama is about fifteen pounds shy of being Viscera in a muumuu. I think we're going to have a come to Jesus meeting. That wasn't a great beginning, but I want to see where this angle goes.
-To contradict Lawler, it's a first blood match. If there is blood from the lip or nose then that would count. If I was in such a match, I would focus on the nose. Why is John Cena so familiar with the crotches of seventies porn stars and Chris Masters' junk? If Kurt Angle just snapped John Cena's ankle off that would draw blood. I thought they would do the screwy finish where Cena would bust Angle open after he was already bleeding and the referee would come around to see Kurt first. So, kudos for not going that way.
EWR ON 411
Smackdown for 1.5.06
In the first battle royal match, JBL uses IRS as a front. Schyster works a man over then Layfield blindsides them with the Clothesline from Hell. They eliminate Hardcore Holly Funaki and Al Snow off the bat. Chavo Guerreo and Rene Dupree team up to toss The Idol and JC Ice. IRS pearl harbors Chavo then works over Dupree. JBL goes for the Clothesline from Hell, but is speared by Chavo before he can connect. Schyster tries the Write Off, but Dupree gets underneath him and backdrops him to the floor. JBL whips Chavo into Dupree and rushes in with a double clothesline. Dupree hits the floor, but Chavo lands on the apron. He slingshots in for a sunset flip, but JBL drops with a fist to the face. He tries to hip toss Chavo out, but he reverses, JBL blocks, pokes Chavo in the eye and tosses him. Bradshaw wins.
Match Rating: 64%
Gene Okerlund is backstage with Jake Roberts and Bill Alfonso. Roberts states that the Executive Board has decided to allow Alfonso to stay the official hardcore referee of WWE due to his years of experience. However, as special enforcer Jake has been told to keep an eye on him and in turn, he told Lucifer. Jake pats his bag. Alfonso gulps. Jake tells him to get out in the ring and do his job.
Segment Rating: 73%
In lieu of actual plunder Rico brings a makeup kit to the ring. He blinds RVD with powder then smacks him with a curling iron. Rico chokes him out with the curling iron cord. RVD raises up and falls back to slam Rico on top of a stop sign. He sets him up in the corner and nails the Van Daminator. He covers. He and Alfonso lock eyes. You can tell Bill doesn't like it as he slowly counts the one, two, three.
Match Rating: 76%
Stephanie McMahon is backstage talking to her minions, including John Cena. She asks them all to stick by her and she promises that this will all work out. She will regain control of Smackdown. They all seem a little less than enthusiastic. Jake Roberts then steps in behind Steph and everyone scatters. Jake just wanted to tell her that the board thought she could use a tune up match and booked her in one next week. Now, he suggested the Big Show, but they didn't think that sounded fair. So he though why not have her face family to warm up for her brother and suggested Booker T. They said no. So then he suggested someone else she has a history with, Chris Jericho. They said no. AJ Styles, Rhyno, Tommy Dreamer, Raven, hell he named lots of guys. But to be fair, they thought she should face a woman, so next week it's Melina. Steph says no problem. Jake exits. Oh, one more thing, Jake comes back in. The special guest referee will be her brother Shane. Jake exits. Oh, one more thing. Jake comes back in. He DDT's Steph and drapes Lucifer over her.
Segment Rating: 77%
Danny Basham rushes with a knee into the corner on AJ Styles. He gloats to the audience and Styles recovers for an elbow to the side of the head. He goes to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a double axe handle. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two. He sets up the Styles Clash. Doug on the floor distracts the referee. Billy Kidman then comes out from underneath the ring and brains Styles with the Cruiserweight Title. Danny hits a slingshot suplex for the win. The three beat down Styles.
Match Rating: 76%
After the break Styles is a bloody mess still getting pummeled. Officials and personnel from the back try to come in, but the Bashams punch them and toss them out of the ring. Finally Steven Richards and Terry Funk make their return. They trade punches with the Bashams. They get knocked to the floor. Kidman realizes he's alone and tries to run, but they catch him and hit a spiked piledriver. Doug drags Kidman out and they take off, jawing at the ex tag champs.
Segment Rating: 65%
Golddust channels his old Dustin Rhodes self for some roughneck brawling with Kane. Kane weathers his offense, then hits a huge uppercut. Flying clothesline. Choke slam. Kane covers, but breaks at two. He stands and waits for Golddust to slowly stand. Scissors Kick. Kane does the crossed arms cover. Cole and Tazz say that Kane is sending a message to Booker T that he's not scared of him and he can hang with him in the ring.
Match Rating: 60%
John Cena comes up to Jake Roberts. So you're the new man on Smackdown. Jake says he works for the Board. He doesn't have any real power at this time. So don't be looking at Jake for his new girlfriend. You think Cena blows that way. Jake thinks Cena blows any way that works for him. Jake has seen a hundred punks like Cena come through WWE over the years. They're brash, they're cocky and they play all the locker room games to leapfrog over those who have been their longer and are frankly better. Oh, so Roberts thinks he's better than Cena. No, he's not thinking that, he knows it. They go nose to nose and Jake tells Cena to get his ass to the ring for his match.
Segment Rating: 75%
Cena seems hesitant to get into the ring with Matt and usually tags out to Chris Cage when he's in. The heels eventually take the momentum and work over Jeff. Cage goes for the Steel Toed Boot (super kick). Jeff grabs the leg. Cage tries an enzuiguiri, but Jeff ducks. He spins Cage around and hits a seats dropkick. Tag all around. Cena and Matt rush into the ring. Cena begs off and drops to his knees. He low blows Matt. Inverted atomic drop. Clothesline. Matt puts his foot up on the five knuckle shuffle. Cage runs in as Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate. Jeff comes in to cut him off. He whips Cage to the corner. They hit the Poetry in Motion on him. They hit it again on Cena. Twist of Fate on Cage by Matt. Jeff gets the swanton. The ref counts the pin on Cage. Cena walks off. Matt extends his hand to Jeff. Jeff looks at it. The fans cheer him to take it. He does. Then pulls Matt into the Twist of Fate. Jeff walks off. (from Todd)
Match Rating: 80%
Booker T goes to the ring to be on the Ski Lodge with Al Snow. Al asks him if he has picked a stipulation for the Smackdown Brand Title match against Kane at Royal Rumble. He's going to go old school on him. He's going to make Kane come to his house. Kane's signature match might be the Inferno match, but his is the Harlem Street Fight! (from Mathew) The crowd pops.
Segment Rating: 83%
Tazz pokes fun at Michael Cole for reminding fans that Billy Kidman vs. Big Show is not for the Cruiserweight Title (as several did to me this week). Kidman talks smack on Big Show. He kicks him in the balls. Show doubles over. Kidman goes for a DDT. Show throws him off into the corner. Avalanche. He shushes the crowd and lands the big slap across the chest. Body slam. Big leg drop off the ropes. Torrie gets on the apron. Big Show comes over and plants a big kiss on her. Show turns around and Kidman slams him in the head with the Cruiserweight Title. He no sells it. He looks over at the referee waiting for the DQ. Since Show was unaffected, he just shrugs. Choke Slam. Kidman gets pinned. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 69%
Show Rating: 70%
Velocity for 1.7.06
In the second battle royal the Bradshaw Corporation boys team up and toss everybody-Shannon Moore, Akio, Big Vito, Shark Boy, The Follower, Kenzo Suzuki-save for Rey Mysterio. Orlando Jordan clotheslines Rey over the ropes, but he lands on the apron and runs for the near corner. He comes off with a missile dropkick that clips Jordan and sends him spiraling over the ropes to the floor. Paul London and EZ Money hit a double team DDT. They toss Rey, but he skins the cat back in. London goes up top while Rey brawls with Money. Rey reverses a whip and send EZ into the corner. London is knocked loose and does the Nestea Plunge to the floor. Clothesline sends Money over the ropes. He lands on the apron with his neck hanging over the ropes. Rey does a 619 going the other way through the ropes that sends Money to the floor. Rey wins.
Match Rating: 74%
JBL is chewing out his boys for blowing the battle royal. The goal was to have him face one of them at the Road to the Royal Rumble for the title shot and have an easy win. Rey Mysterio walks by. He tells JBL that if he is such a wrestling god it shouldn't matter who he faces. JBL says this isn't a David vs. Goliath deal. He will smite him old testament style.
Segment Rating: 66%
Melina and Marlena are in pretty conservative pink, silk pajamas. Dawn Marie and Torrie are in yellow bra and panties sets. Al Snow on commentary mentions that it's nice to see Torrie and her stepmother back together. There is a bed set up in the middle of the ring with several pillows on it. This is supposed to be a tag team match, but all four women go at it at the same time. The referee is rolled over by Marlena and Torrie, sending them all tumbling out of the ring. Jillian Hall then comes out from under the bed and smashes Marlena with a pillow. She's out cold. The referee comes back in and counts the pin. Jillian Hall then pulls a brick out of the pillowcase. (a lot of that is from Mathew)
Match Rating: 58%
Hardcore Holly and Rene Dupree are out with Disco Inferno and Mark Jindrak. Scott Taylor and Carlito have Lashley and Morgan with them. Chaos breaks out with everyone on the floor fighting. Taylor hits the Decommissioned on Disco, but Holly runs into the ring with his car battery while the ref is trying to get order on the floor and decks Taylor. Village People's Elbow gets the win. Taylor is pissed and challenges Holly to a match next week.
Match Rating: 74%
A video is shown hyping the debut of Johnny Kashmere. He's shown in the Champaign room of a strip club with girls all around him. He's wearing a swinger type suit with a lot of jewelry and has sunglasses on. He's Johnny Kashmere and he makes this all look good. Beautiful women, expensive suits, shiny bling; it don't mean a thing without Johnny Kashmere. He is the straw that stirs the drink. He then takes his drink and pours it on one of the girl's head. She doesn't get mad, you know why, because he's Johnny Kashmere and he rules all this. You can be smooth as silk, but nothing is finer than Kashmere.
Segment Rating: 80%
Booker T hits a running forearm off the ropes on Doug Basham. He stumbles up to take the scissors kick. Book End. Pin. Booker T is celebrating when Kane walks out to the stage and just stares at him.
Match Rating: 68%
Show Rating: 69%
Heat for 1.8.06
Zach Gowen goes for the Special Delivery (one legged flip kick) on Randy Orton, but he grabs the leg and flips Gowen over himself. RKO. Orton qualifies for the Rumble.
Match Rating: 66%
Evolution and Christian and Trish Stratus are in Teddy Long's office with him. Long wants Victoria to give the Women's Title back that she stole last week. Triple H says to shove it. Long says they give the belt back or he strips the RAW Brand Title off of Hunter. Ok, Victoria give it back. No. Give it back or Abyss gets Mr. Sledgehammer out. Victoria tucks herself into a ball and gives Triple H the title. He hands it back to Trish and tells her that if she ever gets done fooling around in the sandbox and wants to play a real game to give him a call. Christian shoves him. They look to get into it, but Long tells them to cool it. He then books Trish vs. Victoria for the Women's Title at The Road to the Royal Rumble. It's going to be a straightjacket match, because that girl needs one.
Segment Rating: 81%
Chris Sabin leads Ivory, Nidia and Gail Kim to the ring. Brent Albright brings out the faces to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun." Alexis Laree is dressed like Olivia Newton John in the "Physical" video, Lita is dressed like Cyndi Lauper, Lady Shini has her now usual valley girl attire on. (from Mathew) Gail Kim thinks they look stupid and beats down Lady Shini with prejudice. The heels work her over. Shini reverses a whip on Nidia and steps in on her for the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique (heart punch). She takes Nidia on her shoulder out of that into a muscle buster. Tags all around. Laree ducks under a clothesline from Kim and nails the Jumpin' Jack Flash for the finish. All the women brawl. Sabin and Albright try to pull them apart, but they get into it leading to our next match.
Match Rating: 69%
Sabin goes arm dragging and works an armbar on the mat. Albright kips up and reverses into a hammerlock. Hammerlock slam. He locks in the Bitchin' Gnarly (surfboard). Gail Kim runs into the ring to break. All the girls still at ringside brawl again. Albright goes up top for the Q-Bert (double stomp). Sabin pulls Shini in front of him to block. Albright tries to alter his course, but they crash into each other. This allows Albright to get a roll up in the chaos. He grabs the ropes and steals the win.
Match Rating: 76%
Christian is in the hallway talking to Shelton Benjamin. He's concerned about him. Benjamin says he's fine. Christian tells him that he'll be there for him. They then hear a scream and run for Trish's dressing room. She's hysterical. She left Baby Shelly with one of the makeup girls. The girl is knocked out and the baby is gone. Shelton says he'll help Christian look. Christian doesn't have to look. He knows who has her.
Segment Rating: 93%
Chad Wicks flips out of a tilt-a-whirl slam to get behind Sean O'Haire for a vegomatic. He goes up top. O'Haire pops up to meet him on top and hits his new finisher. A double underhook DDT from the top rope, called the Check This Shit Out (from Mathew).
Match Rating: 63%
The Brood is back with Marissa Mazzolla. Johnny Stamboli talks smack on Nick Dinsmore for their match at The Road to the Royal Rumble. Even with Mick Foley in the ring he's going to make sure that Dinsmore leaves that ring in a body bag. Edge talks trash on Shelton Benjamin who he will face tomorrow night. He's sliding down the same dark slope that Charlie Haas did. Charlie then interjects that he reached the bottom of that dark shaft and finally saw the light. In the main event he will face Batista. Batista says he's his own man now, well so his Haas. Two men who have finally found themselves will square off. Haas knows that he is the better man, because as a member of the Brood you are more than a mortal man.
Segment Rating: 74%
Rob Conway gets a facebreaker to the knee on Johnny Jeter. He sets up My Fuckin' Finisher (rope assisted neckbreaker), but Jeter holds on and pulls them both over the ropes to the floor. They brawl out there. Conway with an atomic drop and he clotheslines Jeter over the ring wall. He slips back into the ring and takes the count out. He ain't no f*cking fool.
Match Rating: 63%
The rest of Team Angle run down to the ring and beat on Conway. O'Haire runs in with a steel chair to make the save. He drives the heels off. EMF hold the ring to fan cheers. They are faces now. (from Mathew)
Segment Rating: 76%
Christian and Shelton Benjamin rush into Ron Killings locker room. He's standing there holding Shelly. Christian takes her back and Shelton pins Killings against the wall. Killings tells him to chill out. He walked by the room, heard the baby screaming, the girl was passed out on the floors, she must be on ‘shrooms or something, so he was just trying to help out and watch the kid for him. He didn't mean any harm. Christian tells him to stay away from his daughter. Shelton takes off his sunglasses to show his red eyes. He says that is his goddaughter. So when Christian gets done with him, he'll chew on what's left. This was just mind games by Killings.
Segment Rating: 77%
The Rock comes out and sits in on commentary for the match between Batista and Charlie Haas. Haas has Gangrel with him. Haas attacks at the bell. Batista eventually makes the comeback. Spine buster. Demon Bomb. Gangrel breaks up the pin. The referee tries to get him out of the ring. Rock slides in with the chalice and smashes Batista with it. Charlie locks in the Dark Haas of Pain for the victory. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 79%
Show Rating: 73%
RAW for 1.9.06
Kurt Angle can't get Rosey up for the Angle Slam. He drops behind him and Samoan Drops him. Tag to Afa who goes up top for the Out of Control Flying Fat Samoan Splash of Death. Angle moves and tags Eric. Angle-Plex finishes. O'Haire and Conway then run out and attack The Angles. They slide to the floor and runaway.
Match Rating: 80%
Marissa Mazzolla catch EMF in the back. They want to say f*ck Team Angle. F*ck Team Angle. And, oh yeah, f*ck Team Angle. They think they're the hot sh*t in WWE. EMF is the hottest sh*t around. There is steams coming off of them. They hope Eric and Kurt win the f*cking tag titles at the Royal Rumble, just so they can take them off of them. Hells yeah. Hells yeah.
Segment Rating: 72%
Triple H goes for a running knee lift in the corner on Barry Windham. He sticks his arm out and Hunter runs right into the Claw. Triple H makes the ropes. Windham won't break. The referee finally pulls him off. They argue. Windham turns around into the kick, wham, pedigree. Triple H pulls the sledgehammer out from under the ring. Vader appears at the entrance stage looking at Triple H. Hunter says Windham isn't worth it and walks up the ramp. He and Vader exchange glares as Triple H walks by (from Mathew).
Match Rating: 60%
Half way through the match between David Flair and Molly Holly Chris Sabin walks out with the Great Lakes title rulebook under his arm. Molly glares at him and this allows David Flair to get the spinebuster. Molly gets her feet on the ropes. David whips her across the ring. Molly ducks a clotheslines and comes off the other side with a cross body. She goes up for the Molly-Go-Round. Daffney screams for David to get up. Her shrill scream makes Molly slip and crotch herself. David with a superplex and he wins. Daffney and David celebrate with the title. Daffney talks some severe crap on Molly. Sabin hands Molly the rulebook and she takes it without thinking. She flips through it and shows a page to the referee. Sonic weapons are foreign objects and therefore Daffney's scream results in a DQ of Flair. Molly retains. Daffney wigs out and gets into a brawl with Molly. Sabin and Flair pull them off each other.
Match Rating: 70%
Chris Sabin carries Molly to the back. He applauds her on using the rulebook. Molly is still steamed. They cheated. Her screaming is cheating. Of course it is, it's in the book. No not because it's in the book…it's just…it's not fair. Hey life is not fair. But the rulebook allows Molly to control her destiny. He wants her to realize that. There is no shame in using it. People will cheat you, so cheat them back. He gives Molly the book and walks off. She clutches it firmly to her chest.
Segment Rating: 71%
Randy Orton is ringside with Danny Inferno. Inferno really takes it to Jimmy Snuka, Jr. Snuka makes his comeback. Orton then jaws at Snuka to distract him. Inferno gets the RKO. He celebrates by dry humping the turnbuckles. Orton yells at him to make the cover. He does and only gets two. Snuka head butts him, then gets the Coconut Kick (step up enzuiguiri, from Todd). Superfly splash finishes. Orton throws a fit that Snuka is in the Rumble too.
Match Rating: 71%
Ron Killings is sneaking around Trish Stratus' locker room. He knocks and doesn't get an answer. He sneaks in. He sees the baby by herself and goes to pick her up. A hand grabs his shoulder and throws him against the wall. It's a really buff woman. Ron asks who she is. She's Nikki Fuller. She's the baby's new nanny and Trish's bodyguard. She recommends that Killings gets out of there. He's cool with that. Killings takes off.
Segment Rating: 74%
The Brood comes down with Edge. Edge keeps throwing Benjamin to the floor then distracting the referee so The Brood can work him over. Benjamin makes the come back and hits a full nelson suplex. Gangrel jumps on the apron. Super kick. Stamboli jumps up. Super kick. Haas hits the apron. Super kick. Edge tries the spear. Benjamin side steps him. He posts his shoulder. Benjamin finishes with the Firebomb (renamed Exploder from Mathew).
Match Rating: 82%
The Brood beat Benjamin down post match. Gangrel raises his chalice toward the ceiling. The lights go out. They come back on to find Benjamin drenched in blood in the middle of the ring. They leave him lying there.
Segment Rating: 80%
Batista comes out to sit in on commentary for the Rock vs. Brock Lesnar match. The Rock argues with the referee to make him leave ringside. Brock keeps cutting him off and pounding him down. Rock gets the flying forearms off the ropes. Snap DDT. He goes to the ropes for the People's Elbow. Batista grabs his ankle. Rock flips out and yells at Batista. He then turns right into the F-5. Brock wins. He celebrates. Rock slides to the floor and brawls to the back with Batista.
Match Rating: 82%
Teddy Long and security breaks the two up. Rock says Batista screwed him. Batista says Rock screwed him first. Fine, you screwed each other. It's even. Long then books them at the Road to Royal Rumble in a cage match.
Segment Rating: 81%
Show Rating: 75%
JC Ice has found religion and is a changed man. Choose what religion he has found.
Smackdown Card for next week, choose all winners
Big Show vs. John Cena, non-title
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Stephanie McMahon vs. Melina Guerrero with special guest referee Shane McMahon
The Basham Brothers vs. Chris Jericho and Jamie Noble
Get the Funk Out of My Face (Funk and Richards) vs. Chris Hero and Kenzo Suzuki
Scott Taylor vs. Hardcore Holly (and I'm sensing bad things happening to Holly)
JBL vs. Chavo Guerrero
Rey Mysterio vs. EZ Money
Johnny Kashmere debuts against Shannon Moore
Rob Van Dam vs. Rhyno for the WWE Hardcore Title
RAW card for next week, choose all winners
EMF (O'Haire and Conway) vs. The World's Even Greater Tag Team (Wicks and Jeter)
Barry Windham and Ric Flair vs. The Angles (Kurt and Eric)
Triple H vs. Christian, non-title
Vader vs. Ron Killings
The Rock vs. Jimmy Snuka, Jr.
Batista vs. Abyss
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton
Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Stamboli
Alexis Laree vs. Gail Kim
Molly Holly vs. Daffney for the WWE Great Lakes Title
Ultimo Dragon and La Parka vs. Edge and Gangrel, non-title
Camp Cornette (Brent Albright, William Regal, Greg Valentine and Stan Lane) vs. The Graduates (Maven, Matt Cappotelli, Garrison Cade and Christopher Nowinski)
Royal Rumble Card at this time, do not vote
30 Man Royal Rumble Match for a title shot at Wrestlemania
RAW: Brent Albright, Abyss, Gangrel, William Regal, Matt Cappotelli, Chris Sabin, Afa Jr., Rosey, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, Jimmy Snuka Jr., Holy Shit It's Sean O'Haire, Rob Fuckin' Conway
Smackdown: Scott Taylor, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Chris "Steel" Cage, Robert "Whip" Lashley, Matt "Machete" Morgan, Big Show, Jamie Noble, Chris Jericho, Rhyno, Tajiri, Jeff Hardy, Raven, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu
Vader vs. Triple H for the RAW Brand Title
Booker T vs. Kane for the Smackdown Brand Title in a Harlem Streetfight
The Angles (Eric and Kurt) vs. Masked Marvels (La Parka and Dragon) for the RAW Brand Tag Team Titles
The Basham Brothers (Doug and Danny) vs. Get the Funk Out of My Face (Funk and Richards) for the Smackdown Brand Tag Team Titles
Christian vs. Ron Killings for the IC Title in a strip iron man match. For every pin fall, submission, count out or DQ win Killings earns over Christian Trish Stratus must take off one article of clothing. If Killings is DQ'ed or intentionally counted out Trish gets to put one item back on. Pin falls or submissions by Christian do not count for anything. If Trish is naked before the thirty-minute time limit, Killings wins the title. Trish will be locked in a go-go dancer cage on the entrance stage. She will be wearing six articles of clothing; a shirt, an undershirt, boots, pants, bra and panties.
AJ Styles vs. Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson in a handicap match for the WWE Cruiserweight Title. If Styles pins either Kidman or Wilson he wins the belt. If Wilson or Kidman pins Styles, Kidman retains
Stephanie McMahon vs. Shane McMahon with special guest referee the Big Show
The Road to the Royal Rumble Special Edition of Velocity
Nick Dinsmore vs. Johnny Stamobili with special guest referee Mick Foley
JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown Brand Title shot at No Mercy
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria for the WWE Women's Title in a straightjacket match
