WRestling’s 3R’s 01.06.06: AMW opens up 2006, the return of FIT!, Commercials are Ridiculous, First Blood and more!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.06.2006
Oh yeah baby, the first 3R’s of 2006; with some old school flava!
The 3R's of wRestling!
Welcome one and all to the show that never ends, CSONKAMANIA! It's been a busy week here at the Csonka house, and I am feeling the effects. So I sit here with some wine, I'm watching The Best of the Best as I take a break from the GIANT WrestleMania feature I am constructing and I get this email from a long time emailer Brian:
Hey Csonk, could you do us long time fans of the columns a favor and open things up old school?
I thought about it, I know exactly what he is talking about and I don't care if some people with no sense of humor don't like it. What the hell, one time for old times sake…
**Deep breath**
Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls CHILDREN of all ages, 411 mania proudly brings to you, the GREATEST COLUMNIST IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLD…your party host, the Alpha Male, the Headliner, your Master of Ceremonies, the Main Event, Ashish's son in law, the Charismatic Enigma, the defender of Carolinian Virginity, the man that can single handedly shut down the 411 servers with his tremendous hit power, the American Dream, the Show Stoppa, Scott Rutherford's #1 fill-in, the Next Big Thing, the sensation of innovation, the king of wrestling media, the Bionic Yankee, Double M's favorite writer, the innovator of violence, in some circles known as the Tremendous one, the Captain of Charisma, the Chosen One, the King of Bling Bling, the Master of Disaster, the Cerebral Assassin, a True Blue Chipper, the Man of 1027 holds, the King of the Mountain, the Choice of a New Generation, the owner of 49% (Was 45, I got some more as a Christmas gift!) of 411mania.com LLC stock, the Man of a Million Columns, a 411 ICON and also known as the man that eats T-bone steaks and lift bar bell plates and is sweeter than a German chocolate cake. Known as the REAL reflection of perfection and the #1 selection. The women's pet, every man's regret, what you see is what you get and what you don't see is better yet. The man of the hour, the one with all the power, too sweet to be sour and believe me baby I'm bad to the bone...I am the beer drinkin, middle finger givin, ass kickin son of a bitch Larry "The Boss" Csonka!
**Drinks a beer**
Damn that was fun, back to work now.
Since I talked about WrestleMania matches the last few weeks, and some people asked, here are some WM match predictions. The first 4 I am pretty sure of, the others I am guessing on judging by what I have seen, what I know about the E and some shit I heard. Yes I am bored and named way too many matches. The guesses are all in fun for the most part.
Here is my protégé, the man that always shares a piece of his mind and is known as the Whole F'n Show, he is Geoff Eubanks!
Smackdown 12.30.05:
The Right:
Match 5/7 – First of all, the opening promo involving Teddy Long, Chris Benoit and Booker T & Sharmell was 1) necessary, as it addressed the pressing issue of Booker's unfortunate and ill-timed injury with respect to the Best of Seven series (more bad luck for SmackDown!) and, 2) logical, exploring the myriad options concerning the fate of the UST, which hangs in the balance of the series. There were, indeed, several options in which we could have gone in this respect, but virtually none of them were fair to one or the other involved. Booker being awarded the UST while injured simply because he leads the series disallows Benoit the opportunity to redeem himself; awarding the trailing Benoit the belt because Booker is injured usurps Booker's lead; awarding Benoit tonight's match via forfeit makes sense, although, if one puts one's self in the mindset of the GM, Long's decision to allow Booker a substitute is sensible, because Long is still responsible for producing a show tonight and allowing a match is more exciting than awarding a forfeit.
Of course, I can't let go by the opportunity to laugh as Booker and Sharmell faced Orlando Jordan's idiotic attempt at being named Booker's replacement against Benoit. Dingbat. Good to see that even the other heels realize what a worthless pile of poo OJ is.
To complete the excellent job McMahonagement did with respect to dressing the wound on the Best of Seven situation, Booker went to Randy Orton to be his replacement, which works on a couple different levels. First of all, following losing the HITC match to The Undertaker at the PPV on Sunday (which is CRAP…as I said, and have said the entire length of the program, Randy needed that win a HELL of a lot more than did Taker, and considering Taker's stranglehold on his WrestleMania streak, he needs to give up a high-profile gimmick match like this one, especially to young talent like Randy who has a great chance of being the Triple H of the next decade), Booker appealing to a somewhat downtrodden Randy, offering to him the opportunity to redeem himself here tonight, to go out of 2005 on a high note, rather than coming up on the short end of a major program, was simply fantastic…again, I loves me my continuity. And speaking of which, the fact that Randy was the man to end Benoit's WHT reign makes Booker's selection of Randy and the implications of tonight's contest even more intriguing and consistent. Rarely anymore do I find myself drowning in continuity, so I was happy as a pig in poo over this build. Excellent job, McMahonagement!!!
As for the match itself, although not all it could have been (and I'm likely holding hopes too high in this regard, considering the combatants involved are my two favorites on the brand), I was still mega-stoked to see this battle play out. The consistency in story followed into the ring where we were treated to a solid, mat-based-with-a-smattering-of-exciting-spots-style match, which suits both men quite well. Tough, tight, stiff and hard-fought, this was the best match of the series, IMO. I'm sure some will decry the screwy finish, and those who do will have a philosophical point, because Sharmell interfering to give Benoit the duke does "her man" no favors; however, the doomed heel preferring being DQ-ed as opposed to losing outright has long been one of those philosophical quandaries I've pondered…here, I'll simply console myself with the likelihood that Sharmell, a relative newcomer to the mat wars, simply got caught up in the moment and was acting her man's behalf, since he was unable to do so himself as a result of his injury. In addition, and more to the point, considering that Randy's hand was up and set to tap anyway, the interference allows for a smidge of inconclusiveness between Benoit and Randy, especially considering that, although Benoit, it seems, would have taken the match, Randy got his heat back minutes later with The RKO, thus, it follows that these two could certainly renew their rivalry here on SD!, which is FAR from a bad thing.
With the boss' kind consideration, I'd like to introduce a fourth…well, perhaps a third-and-a-half R…
The Right (with reservations):
MNM this week stands for Melina's Nasty Machinations – A lot going on in this regard this week, which was, for the most part, all good.
While I appreciate WWE's attempt at utilizing its website as an extension of its television programming, because there have been instances where it has done so with quite successful results, I'm not so sure about teasing Melina's sexual harassment suit against Batista (and wouldn't she more rightfully be pressing sexual battery charges as opposed to suing over sexual harassment, or is that the difference between criminal and civil court, respectively…? Where's Judge Judy when I need her?!). I recognize such promotion caused a buzz going into tonight's show, but it seemed to me that the proverbial wind was taken out of this segment by prematurely giving away the point of even having it. If WWE wants to utilize its site more effectively in this regard, why not stage a pre-PPV-like press conference where the pseudo-journalists and the camera flashes would have appeared much more organic and less contrived? Also in this vein, this segment as it aired went WAY too long. I understand Melina was drawing out her delivery to drive home how difficult this was for her, and, overall, she did a great job, but she paused too often and for too long and really deflated the segment. Although there's little excuse for this, SD! being a post-produced show, I return to the notion of airing the press conference in its entirety on WWE.com, then showing clips on SD!, in an "Entertainment Tonight/Insider" kind of fashion, with Michael Cole & Tazz acting as hosts, suggesting to the viewers to go to the site for the entire press conference.
Something else that bothered me about this entire affair, pardon the pun, considering that we all know Dave Bautista, as she referred to him, is MARRIED (oh my stars…PLEASE don't bring Mrs. Dave on and get involved in this, unless it's a plan by Dave to make Melina think she's gotten inside the head of the couple, only to have it backfire on her, but even that's too much!)…it seems to me that Melina's main purpose for implicating Batista is to get inside his head in an attempt to rattle him, thereby allowing MNM to regain the WWETTTs from Batista and Rey Mysterio tonight. However, in a brief, almost afterthought promo backstage segment just prior to the tag match in question, Batista shrugged off the entire long-winded promo in about 15 seconds, showing no inkling that he was bothered in the least…so what was the point? I mean, doesn't the name Kobe mean anything to Batista…? Okay, I can see Melina being upset over Batista's double-cross last week in the locker room; that's completely consistent with her character. The spoiled Sunset Strip bitch using sex as a weapon having her intentions backfire on her not only was a blow to her ego, but effectively lost her team the WWETTTs, as well. However, filing this suit did nothing to contribute to helping MNM regain the belts this week, either. I'll simply sit on my hands and assume this is going somewhere meaningful later on, although I have a sinking feeling that we're seeing the genesis of yet another lame, overblown, bigger-than-it-needs-to-be soap opera storyline cooking here, which irritates me, considering my devotion to MNM.
The reason I place this in the Right section is because we did manage to get a tasty little match out of all this tonight that was well-executed with MNM showing that they're starting to figure out how to deal with the "Mutt & Jeff" combination of Batista & Rey. Now, they've always (and rightfully) figured that the most fortuitous approach was to isolate Rey, the obviously smaller member of the opposition, however, this week, as opposed to last week, it felt as if MNM had more control over Rey and that the match wasn't simply slipping from their fingers, as it did when they lost the belts. Of course, naysayers could simply put forth that control notwithstanding, Rey still made the hot tag and Batista still overwhelms even both Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro combined, and I can't argue that point, however, progress is progress, and I felt that MNM did make some headway against the former champions this week.
I also enjoyed the way MNM pounced on Rey's inopportune knee tweak and made it the focus of their offense against him. Again, smart, consistent wrestling, lending itself to a tight little main event tonight. And, yeah, I'll admit that a good part of my optimism about this match has a lot to do with the fact that we closed the show with MNM becoming three-time WWETTCs!
The Notorious Kay-Yie-Dee! – Color me completely stoked 1) to see Kid Kash as my Cruiserweight Champion, 2) to see him on SD! and, 3) and getting mic time! W00t! As I mentioned last week, Kash is a favorite hold-over from the old cherished ECW days, and, considering all the tude he dropped down in Florida, I didn't think he'd last this long in the anal-E, but here he is, with gold and on the mic, no less! The reason I have reservations about this, though, is 1) I know better than to get my hopes up where the CWs are concerned, and 2) with the deep CW roster currently on SD!, and this is no diss to SD!'s #1 announcer, but I'll be disappointed if Funaki ends up being Kash's first challenger. Why not Nunzio, considering they have more experience working together, and, thus, will likely put on a more entertaining match? Still, though, that was a hell of a sweet brainbuster!
When were THE HEART THROBS traded to SD!...? – Oh. Those are THE DICKS. Uh, really, I don't get what this gimmick is supposed to, like, BE. Are they supposed to be Chippendale's strippers? Ladies men? MENS men? And what's the point in calling them "THE DICKS"? How does that tie-in to the gimmick? This really sucks (pardon the pun), because these guys have some promise. While this match didn't really light the ring on fire, it far from sucked, thanks a lot to Super Crazy giving us a glimpse into how fun his arsenal can be when he's allowed to utilize it. I dunno…I'm just happy to see tag wrestling back on SD!. I'll try to remain optimistic until my intelligence is irrevocably insulted.
Finlay returns – Hmm. As I recall, this guy didn't exactly catch on the last time they tried pushing him, but they probably had a lot of other more viable, surefire options back then and didn't really get behind him. Now, however, it's a sad commentary on the state of the roster when they're pulling road agents out of retirement and back to active duty. However, notwithstanding questions about how "fit" Finlay is these days, he's a solid enough hand in the ring that he should be a grounded addition to the roster at a time when it really needs it, and it's pretty clear to see the number of opponents who would stack up well against him: William Regal (obviously, and having Paul Burchill backing up his fellow Englishman in this program could go a long way in establishing him, and serve as a hell of a learning tool for the youngster), Chris Benoit, Randy Orton and, upon his return to active duty, Kennedy. All around, optimism again prevails. Also, good move with the preview promos…these are far too underutilized today and go a long way in helping to familiarize the fans with new/returning talent.
The wRong:
You know, unlike the ball dropping debut of Lashley – Really. Hire jobbers, or get this guy into a legitimate program NOW. He's a bad ass. He's got traps of steel. He can actually wrestle. He's the real deal. We get it. Now DO something with him. This repetition isn't gathering him any momentum and is actually getting boring and can actually end up burying him before he's even out of the chute.
And, really, Sylvan bailing out of a match because he got hit in the face? Okay, there's pussy and there's just plain stupid, and this balances that line in dangerous fashion. Just stop.
The Ridiculous:
The Boogerman is coming to get JBL…?! – Wow, when he says he's coming to get us, he's not kidding, is he? This program is going to be a cornucopia of AWFUL. Just as I thought they figured out that JBL has become at least a capable enough performer such that, as long as he's paired up with solid talent and is kept away from the WHT, he's not as bile-inspiring as he was during the program with Eddie Guerrero, but if THIS is the plan, they may as well exhume Eddie and let JBL go at him the way he did Matt Hardy tonight and at the PPV. And PLEASE don't send in hate mail over that tongue-in-cheek comment which was simply a euphemism for how much I value this Boogeyman, both as a performer and a character, and most certainly NOT meant in ANY way to disrespect one of the greatest and my own very favorite performers of all time in Eddie…I'm suggesting that Eddie STILL could get more out of JBL than The Boogeyman will be able to…as a matter of fact, and here's a chilling thought, folks…JBL's going to be the polished hand in this program…chew on THAT, worm breath. As a matter of fact, if you're one of these fucktards who's bringing signs to the arena like "I came to see The Boogeyman" and "Boogeyman 4 President", not only are you more harmful to the business than any perceived poor-taste comment I could ever make, you're part of the whole problem WWE is currently experiencing and I'll even go so far as to say that you're not a wrestling fan. Go to the fucking circus and stop encouraging Vince's insanity. If more people stood up and said, uh, NO, then maybe we'd have a better overall product. Worked on the fucking Juniors, didn't it?
Oh, BTW, McMahonagement, if you EVEN consider involving Matt Hardy in this bullshit, I WILL stop watching.
Mark Henry…? MARK HENRY?! – For Foley's sake. For the love of Benoit. Has it REALLY gotten THIS bad? Mark HENRY? This guy had any semblance of whatever heat he had as a result of being the least effective member of THE NATION almost a decade ago when the almighty d-generation-X dressed up, imitating their rivals, and, of all people, XPac likened Henry to Fat Albert, commenting upon the manner in which his massive pecs manage to stretch all the way around to his back. Yup. Let me break down what bringing in Henry as a viable WHT contender really is for ya. Henry in the main event against Batista is tantamount to fucking your ex…and not even one of the HOT ones…simply because you've realized you couldn't get laid in prison with a fist full of Governor's pardons, which, itself, is tantamount to realizing that the milk in the fridge has gone bad, then putting it back in the fridge, hoping that it might be better tomorrow. What's worse is that Melina's being dragged into this crap, too, likely causing her to divide her time between MNM and Henry, with the latter overshadowing the former (and not just because he's so fuckin fat that he deep-fries toothpaste), cheapening this tag title reign, as well, and damaging their cred even more than that lame stuck-on-the-side-of-the-road period they endured while the horrendous LOAD WARRIORS tried to sell some DVDs. If ANY good is going to come from this bullshit, it's that tonight's "brutal attack" sets up an injury angle, allowing Batista the luxury of taking some time off to complete his rehab so he can return and beat the rest of the hair off of Henry's injury-prone blockhead. I am DISPLEASED.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
iMpact!:
iMpact 12.31.05/.1.01.06:
The Right:
AJ vs. Storm…leading to… - AJ and Storm had a really good match on the last Impact of 2005. Storm seems to work well with the X guys, partially because he wants to be an X guy I thing and gets to do some fun stuff with them. Anyway, good match and AJ basically got screwed and took the pin.
Then Daniels comes from nowhere, probably feeling like he owed AJ for AJ sticking up for him and tried to set things right. Larry Z then ordered the "First Match of 2006" with AJ and Daniels vs. AMW for the titles. Great set up and I LOVED that they went with the company's home growns and not "familiar faces."
The first match of 2006 - As I said, I LOVED that they went with the company's home growns and not "familiar faces." AMW can go into a tag match with about anyone, and given over 10-minutes can probably hit ***. AJ and Daniels are also awesome, and pairing them together against AMW was a treat. They had a good match (hacked by commercials) and AMW retained as they should have, because putting tag titles on 2 singles guys for no reason is so WWE. I also liked the Shannon Moore stuff. It will help derail AJ for a while, so Joe and Daniels can feud. Moore could prove a lot of people wrong with a solid run here in TNA.
Presenting Sting - This is humorous to me. All I have heard is bitching about this. What the hell is the issue? Sure the "net" knew way in advance. They did the teases, and that was the right thing to do. They are playing this a big event, as they should. Now while I think Sting as a main player isn't the best idea, what did you want them to do? Have a show, and they say, "By the way, even though he's old and shit, we signed Sting to wrestle here. Sure it's not that groundbreaking, but it's what we got." NO ASSHOLES! You hype the FUCK out of it and TRY to gain interest.
Also, him not "officially" debuting until the PPV, SMART! They are hyping and name dropping him and have set a match. There is NO NEED for him to be on TV yet. Make them pay for his TNA "Re-Debut." That is what we call, "Smart Business."
The Bullet gets a beat down from the PR Street Thugs - This was great. I loved Bob's talk with Konnan, and when Konnan apologized so quickly I knew something had to be up. Later on we saw what was up, as Bob was laid out backstage with Konnan, Apollo and Homicide (~!) standing over him. Konnan has a great line when he said, "Tell Kip and BG to do their own damn talking." This was a great next step in the feud/breakup of the 3/4LK. Konnan can talk and is good in tags when he can just hit his shit. Apollo is a big dude, and can work well with the right people. Homicide will be the workhorse of the group, I just hope his shoulder can hold up. So far, so good in my opinion. This should be a fun feud and add to the TNA tag division as well.
The wRong:
Dear Jackie Gayda… - Please never talk again. You are a piece of ass, you are to be stared at, not listened too. You sounded retarded and confused. Please just stand there with you giant fake ta ta's, tight ass little body and stand there so I can look at you.
Love,
Larry
The Ridiculous:
FN Commercials! - You guys KILLED me during the Midnight Impact with the commercials. Now I completely understand that you had no control and that SPIKE is in charge of that, but you should have talked this over first. You should have begged, borrowed and stole for one less commercial break at the very least. The match was a damn good match you put on, but the commercials ate about 1/3rd of it and that kills a viewers enjoyment.
RAW !:
Raw 01.02.06:
The Right:
HBK vs. Vince - So far so good. This could be a really good feud, as long as they are careful in its construction. The crowd is way behind HBK, so Vince needs to keep doing shit like he did Monday evening. The crowd responded and got behind HBK even more. I just hope that they can keep it up without being to cliché.
First Blood - Back to back weeks Cena was involved in a hot match. Last week with Shelton and this week with Angle. Love him or hate him people are reacting to his matches and showing real emotion. That's what you need to generate is that real emotion, you need to get the people for or against guys passionately and they did so.
The after match was great as well, a blood soaked Cena and the Chamber competitors all in the ring with the brawl segment. I loved when Carlito and Masters were all like, "Fuck you Kurt" and Angle found himself in the masterlock. HBK got revenge on Kane and mailed sweet chin music and Cena finally got the FU and laid out HBK. A good sell, which they needed for the PPV.
Mickey and Trish/HHH and Show - Two of the better crafted stories going in the WWE right now. This week Mickey wanted to apologize to Trish for her wet and sloppy kiss last week. We got to see Trish running up and down steps in glorious fashion, and Trish did not want to discuss the kiss. Mickey then tried to talk to her and took Trish's towel so she would have Trish's full attention, she had mine. Anyway as they talked, Trish demanded her towel back; and as subtle as you would ask someone for a napkin told Trish, "Wow, you have nice boobs." If that ain't great TV I don't know what is.
Then we moved onto HHH and The Big Show. HHH gave a great promo this week, and even had to be on his game so to speak as they ran the wrong footage for him. The promo was great though and really added to their feud. Then Big Show came out with his HULK HAND(~!) to destroy HHH. Seriously though, they need paint that bad boy green. Anyway, HHH was being a smug bastard thinking that he had Show already defeated, but then he realized that the cast was a big ass kicking weapon! HHH did a great job of showing fear when he realized that and they continued with the great build to this feud.
The wRong:
How the hell… - Do you have a feud with RIC FN FLAIR in it and NOT LET HIM TALK?????? This just amazes me. Someone said that the judge said he can't talk. So let me get this straight, Ric Flair can't cut a wrestling promo because of his legal troubles, but the WWE can mock them all they want in this story? It makes no sense you see. All of the sudden people think Edge is cutting great promo's, they are shit. There is very little interest for this feud on my part. The Flair spoof was horrible, the only thing that was good is that everyone imagined Flair attacking the guy with chops and all, so that was ok. It just amazed me that Flair gets NO PROMO TIME to build this feud. This is a stupid decision on the E's part.
The Ridiculous:
Let me get this straight… - Gregory Helms is mad at Jerry Lawler for making fun of him. Helms thinks Lawler held him down, and now they will have a match. Don't get me wrong, I think Lawler is great and yes he can still go. But this will do NOTHING for Helms. It did nothing for Hassan last year as we all know. The match will be fine, but it will be the wrong kind of match and Lawler will get too much offense in on him. Also, great way to put over your opponent, "You're just a guy…that sucks." Damn it Jerry, you know better dude.
Match #1 – William Regal and Eugene defeated Christian and Tomko to retain the tag titles @ 12:22 via pin. **
Match #2 – Trish defeated Lita to become the NEW WWE Women's Champion @ 3:50 via pin. (N-R)
Match #3 – Shelton Benjamin defeated Maven 2 times to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship @ 6:09 and 0:05 via pin and pin. (N-R)
Match #4 – Muhammad Hassan defeated Jerry "The King" Lawler @ 10:49 via pin. ½*
Match #5 – Kane defeated Snitsky @ 11:43 via pin. **
Match #6 – HHH defeated Randy Orton, Batista, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit and Edge in an Elimination Chamber Match to re-become the NEW World Heavyweight Champion @ 34:55 via pin on Orton. ****
The Right:
The Elimination Chamber - Oh yes, this was definitely the one match show. It was a damn good match though, not enough to justify paying for a replay of the show, but good. They had the match laid out about as perfectly as possible. You had Jericho and Benoit to start the match; which gave us some good wrestling in the short time and also I personally love when they lock it up. They had a heated 5-minutes, and then after a superplex were laid out and HHH was next. HHH was on his game as he was full of fire and took it to both men who were already beat down. These 3 have a good chemistry and also had some hot segments. Edge was next and evened up things and fit perfectly into the slot he was placed into. Orton's placement was just as you wanted it, as he got a great pop from the PR crowd and things were really picking up. Edge was trying to take him out and nailed HBK, which led to a superkick, then lionsault and Edge's dismissal. Things were really hot and Jericho locked in the Walls as Benoit got the Crossface on HHH as well and it looked like the end for him. THEN the HOSS DADDY BATISTA was in and DAMN did they book him to perfection! He was booked like the unstoppable monster and then…we had the face off with HHH. The crowd popped HUGE for this and then the faces broke it up. Batista eliminated Benoit and Jericho and that left Orton to face HHH and Batista. The crowd popped all night for the RKO, until he nailed Batista with it as they wanted the HHH face off. HHH also just looked on as Batista was pinned. When all was said and done, Batista nailed Orton to help HHH win his 10th world title and to give us a hell of a main event. Still, don't order a replay, the match is not worth $35.
Hassan's Promo - I am really impressed with Hussan's promo skills. Every time out he is extremely well spoken, and really makes his character come off justified, which is rule #1 for a heel. The promo about Puerto Rico was great. Saying how he was glad to come to PR because they more than anyone would understand being treated like 2nd class citizens by the USA. He mocked them for only being a Commonwealth, not good enough for statehood and then said he was disgusted at how things unfolded. They were held and searched for 3+ hours at the San Juan airport, their hotel reservations were "accidentally" cancelled and Daivri even had his wallet stolen! If he can back it up even a little in the ring the sky is the limit, because it is rare for someone so young to be so good and crisp on the mic.
Setting up HBK vs. Edge - This has been done very well. They started months ago with the Taboo Tuesday spearing, and have ran with it since announcing HBK as the special ref. Edge even went to Bishoff and tried to let Christian take his place because he was afraid HBK would screw him out of his title. Then he had a confrontation with HBK and HBK promised to call it "right down the middle." Also, he said that if someone got in his face or touched him, he would have to retaliate. Edge looked good in the Chamber, until he missed a spear on Orton and nailed HBK. Well, we all know Sweet Chin Music was coming and Edge ate it and was pinned after a Lion-sault by Jericho. This should lead to a WM XXI encounter where Edge could get a HUGE win and really cement himself in the Main Event Scene.
The wRong:
Maven - As much as I think Maven as a heel kicks ass, apparently there is one little problem. He is shit in the ring. The word going around is that he and Shelton had some really bad house show matches and Vince has lost a lot of confidence in him. All the mic work he did was great last night, but the fact was that there was basically no match. This was a PPV, a PPV already running short due to Lita's injury. It was sad to see this on a PPV and I personally am losing faith in Maven. Seriously, with as bad as this PPV was, how bad could their match have been? Just not good, and if Maven is not careful he could be joining Billy Gunn in the "Will work for food" club.
Lawler vs. Hassan - This was not the match to debut Hassan with. It went too long and I think Lawler has naked pics of Vince with Chyna or some shit because he came out looking too strong. Hassan showed limited offense in this type of match and it was too long as he should have squashed the 60-year-old announcer. Hopefully the character can use the heat he has to recover from this and get in a program with a real worker.
The Ridiculous:
Lita - Yeah, I know what you are thinking. Give her a break, it was a freak accident. She's a daredevil…that is her style, that is what makes her special. BULL SHIT! I have said this for a long time, and I will say it again. She needs to drastically change her style so she does not kill her self or someone else! Seriously, I cringe every time she delivers that slow as shit head scissors. She dumps people on their heads. Her moonsault is like a missile and she is lucky she rotates enough. She about killed herself in that match with Trish on Raw, I complained there and everyone wanted to talk about how good the match was. Now, she goes for a THEZ press off the apron and almost did a Sid Vicious. My wife even said that! Common sense, a clothesline, a cross body or something smarter! She makes bad decisions and is literally a Kiss of Death to herself. They really need to take this time and evaluate her and FORCE her to make some changes.
No Commentary - Oh man, as bad as the Lawler vs. Hassan match was I think it was made worse by there being no commentary at all. There were times where the crowd was silent and it was just bad. I know they were doing it so we could hear Daivri and JR banter back and forth, but considering they weren't mic'd up you didn't hear it all. I really think Coach out there smart ass commenting on Lawler would have been great. As it was though, it just seemed to drag extra and seemed like 20 minutes, not 11.
Observation time:
-Instead of New Years Revolution, we could rename it WWE Knee Blow Out Spectacular 2005!
-Instead of New Years Revolution, we could rename it New Year, same shit as Armageddon.
-Instead of New Years Revolution, we could rename it New Years Suckitude.
-There should have been a warning for PPV customers, "Card Subject to Suck." (Thanks J.D.)
-What was up with Snitsky going all Tyson on Kane's ear?
-Lawler apparently didn't bring enough Memphis power to San Juan with him.
-Thank god HBK wore pants…I would have died if I had to see him in those 8 sizes too small shorts.
-Maven graduated top of the class in the Larry Zbyzko School of Stalling.
-With Lita hurting herself, I bet Vince is really happy he fired those women wrestlers for those whores at poolside.
-Every time I see Todd Grisham, all I hear is this, "Hello, I am Todd Grisham, and I am a massive tool."
-Dear Lita, time to rethink every step you take, you are going to kill yourself.
-Heel Maven may kick ass, but it is a sad day when they make you talk for 5 minutes because they have no faith in you to wrestle.
-The line about Shelton being a 2nd Women's champ was gold.
-Damn I wish Heel Maven could wrestle!
-Coach had a good night in the booth.
-The 3-man booth was excellent for the Elimination Chamber. All 3 did a great job in adding to the match.
-Kane needs to change up his look again, and cover up. He isn't as built as he was and looks too damn pale. You would think someone who spends all that time around hellfire and brimstone could get a decent tan!
-From now on, I think my official call for Shelton's finisher will be "EXPLODER BITCH!"
-HBK didn't screw Edge, Edge screwed Edge.
Reader Rant Time on TNA Impact:
Mcliff - Thumbs up! Actually to the 8 PM episode. Was in church when the ball dropped so I didn't see the AJ/Daniels vs. AMW match. Personally, I would have waited for Daniels vs Joe and had him face somebody like Aires, Dutt, or Bentley to build their character up in a feud with Joe. I also would have had AJ & Daniels win the belts from AMW and then get attacked by the team of Shelly and Strong and have them drop the belt to that team at the PPV. I know it's so WWE to have a team that's not really a tag team win the belts, but AJ/Daniels as champs would be a nice way to add a new tag team. I know you were complaining about the limited number of teams in TNA, but it's still more than WWE. Soon there will be the addition of BG and Kip, possibly Apollo and Homicide or Homicide and Jay Lethal, and hopefully Strong and Shelly.
I think they should have waited on Daniels vs. Joe as well. I dislike the idea of AJ and Daniels winning the tag titles, that is VERY WWE. I didn't complain about the limited number of TNA teams, I just think they need to add some more to freshen the division up. Remember I have been watching TNA since day 1, and some of the matches are VERY repetitious to me.
From Ygun24 - Don't get the PPV's but does it effect Monty that his T.V. matches are all 2 minutes long? I'd like to see him for longer to get a better read on him. Finally getting somewhere with Jackie/Gail/Jeff. Gayda's promo didn't come off too bad to me. She didn't seem to stutter or forget anything, came off clear to me. (maybe she brings in Haas for revenge? Wishful thinking)
Rhino is over and keeping him strong is good and matching him up w/Abyss is interesting. Samoa Joe: same point as Monty but I do see a little more of him than Monty, I like him. Not sure what to think about Konnan's stable although him turning heel was a good move as I feel he was getting stale. A.J./Storm was good and I agree anything w/A.J. is gonna be good. Much better than the New Years 1/2 hour show
It doesn't effect him, he is in good cardio shape. He just needs to be led in matches still by someone with more experience. Joe is in great cardio shape, and has killer PPV matches. Konnan's stable and heel turn were great and this should pay off now as well as add tag teams, fresh tag teams to the division.
By the way, someone complained that I feature a lot of TNA feedback. Well, once I start getting more Raw feedback, and I am recapping it now, we'll put that here as well. I can't discuss emails that don't exist.
Thanks for joining me, as well as my tag team partner Geoff (yostankmama@hotmail.com) this week. Please keep the feedback coming and tell us what you like, what you didn't and feel free to give us some of your 3 R's. Seriously, we want to hear what YOU HAVE TO SAY! I will gladly post them in the next edition. Until next week, for Geoff I am Larry Csonka and we are out!
