The Shimmy 01.08.06: WWE: Numba One; ROH: Hach-Tooey!
Posted by Andy Clark on 01.08.2006
Yeah, I know this should have been last week...
Hello once again, puppets, and welcome back to another orgalicious edition of The Shimmy. No doubt many of you have just entered my domain so you can tar and feather the ROH basher. Well put away your implements of doom and listen up: this column will not be bashing ROH today, or any other promotion for that matter. You see today's edition will point out some of the best WWE-supplied matches of 2005. Yeah, I know the retrospectives were over a week ago, but what can I say, I'm a rebel (or just slow). Sure, we already looked at the best matches of the year, but Larry wrote on his top ten TNA matches and Ari Berensteinrevealed his top 32 ROH matches of the year; both of which are well worth a look. While some of the obvious WWE matches were thrown around in the waning moments of 2005, I think there were a great many that weren't mentioned, and that was a shame. Inspired by Ari's massive list, I defied myself to find 32 WWE matches that were great, entertaining, told a good story, or just plain fun to watch. Upon review, I noticed that 2 of the matches had wrestlers that don't typically work for WWE, so I upped my count to 34 to make up for it. Since I was already at 34, I decided to make it a nice, round 35. Now obviously every match I included isn't a ***** classic, although I'm quite confident in my top 16, but I'm sure even Ari would give you that every match he included wasn't Flair-Steamboat. As Vince advertises, it's World Wrestling Entertainment, and I wanted to see how many matches entertained me, or that I felt brought something good to the table. Now don't misconstrue, this isn't meant as an "OMG TNA and ROH sux!" column. In fact, it's a good thing that some of WWE's matches fell through the cracks, as that means that there is a variety of great wrestling available to the fans, and ultimately that's what it's all about. Just read on and remember some of the best matches of the year that you might have forgotten.
35. World Heavyweight Title, No Holds Barred Match: Batista vs. JBL (SummerSlam)
- Yeah, so even Batista acknowledged that he and JBL didn't have the best chemistry, but this No Holds Barred Match was exactly what their first match should have been. These are two of the finest brawlers in all of wrestling and this match proved it. Plus the Batista Bomb onto the steel steps was sick!
34. Steel Cage Match: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (SmackDown, 9/9)
- Even though this was only used to spark ratings and give Eddie a win following the real blow-off at SummerSlam, this was one of many very good Steel Cage Matches of 2005. Although the cage wasn't used that much, Eddie and Rey added to the great body of work they had last year.
33. WWE Title Match: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho (SummerSlam)
- Some matches are made by a hot crowd, and this was one of them. The site of the first major anti-Cena contingent, the crowd was split right down the middle, something that seemed to inspire the two competitors. It was also very cool of Cena to tease the FU off the top rope in this match, something I hope he breaks out for WrestleMania. They would also have a very good match the next night on Raw.
32. World Heavyweight Title Match: Batista vs. Eddie Guerrero (No Mercy)
- In Eddie's last PPV appearance, he and Batista told a great story, something that is missing in a lot of the five star classics elsewhere. While it was not the best match of 2005, the tale these two told of the inner struggle inside Eddie helped sell the feud that we, alas, will not see concluded.
31. WWE Tag Team Title Match: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas (Judgment Day)
- This will be a theme for this column as I felt Judgment Day was one of the best PPVs of the year in terms of in-ring action, definitely the best for WWE. This match pleasantly surprised me as I'm not a big fan of either Holly or Haas, but this was a fast paced, exciting tag team match that really got the crowd going. Their 15-minute Iron Man Match a week later was also very good.
30. Kurt Angle vs. Ric Flair (Raw, 6/27)
- A dream match for some, it told the tale of the young upstart trying to overtake the old lion, and the old lion cheating his ass off to make up for youth. Say what you will about Flair's conditioning in this match, but this was one of the most entertaining free television matches all year.
29. Intercontinental Title Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho (Backlash)
- These two had a very good chemistry together, and this match illustrates that. One of the two best matches on the Backlash card, this was the faster paced of the two. Plus, Shelton Benjamin actually got to win a match! Huzzah!
28. Interpromotional Match: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (WrestleMania 21)
- I have not seen their Hell in a Cell Match from Armageddon, but this was obviously the best of their other matches. Undertaker can still go when motivated, and an aura of unpredictability for this match made it seem very special. This match was miles ahead of their rematch at SummerSlam.
27. Last Man Standing Match: Edge vs. Chris Benoit (Backlash)
- The other Backlash match on this list, blasted by some for being too slow, unfortunately the stipulation tends to lend itself to a slower pace. Benoit and Edge did a great job of tearing into each other, and it came with a pretty unique ending. Why wouldn't you use a brick if it were legal?
26. 30-Minute Iron Man Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle (Homecoming)
- I actually enjoyed this match much more than their match at Vengeance, but given the time constraints and the finish I understand people's hang-ups on it. This was compelling television as you weren't sure who would pull it out, and the final seconds of the match had you on the edge of your seat, just like their first encounter. I had my reservations on how they would be able to fit multiple convincing falls in 30 minutes, especially when their other matches ran about the same time, but these two legends were able to fit six believable falls into a half-hour. This was a great way to return to USA.
25. Last Man Standing Match: Triple H vs. Ric Flair (Survivor Series)
- Like the other Last Man Standing Match on this list, because of the stipulation it had a bit of a lull, but this match was still a brutal collision. Even though it was not as great as their epic Steel Cage Match, this match saw two of the cheating-est bastards in all of wrestling beat the tar out of each other…and a good time was had by all.
24. Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (Judgment Day)
- Just another great match for these two, as the DQ finish is the only thing keeping it from being higher on the list.
23. Interpromotional Ten Man Tag Team Elimination Match: Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Kane, Chris Masters, & Carlito vs. Batista, JBL, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, & Lashley (Survivor Series)
- Some people weren't impressed with this match, but this match really summed up the whole "gang warfare" mentality of the invasion. Imagine if there had been clear sides like this during the WCW invasion, and heels and faces could team together without having to turn. This was a unique match up, and it delivered with other unique mini-match ups throughout. Some may dislike the brand fraternization, as I have my own criticisms of it, but it brought back some of the tradition of the Survivor Series while adding a new spin to it.
22. Eight Man Tag Team Match: John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, & Matt Hardy vs. Kurt Angle, Edge, Chris Masters, & Snitsky (Raw, 9/19)
- Many people will probably disagree with this choice, but I think this match was some of the most fun on Raw or SmackDown all year. It rolled four feuds into one, and spanned three segments. It showed Cena as a leader, gave Matt Hardy a badly needed rub, and helped re-establish Big Show as a monster. Every now and then you just need to have a fun match and this certainly was one.
21. Street Fight: Edge vs. Matt Hardy (Raw, 8/29)
- Another free TV match makes the list, as Edge and Matt Hardy made up for their borefest at SummerSlam. They pulled out the plunder for this match and used it well. Matt Hardy's leg drop off the ladder was awesome, and the finishing bump was one of the best of the year. Sometimes a non-finish is OK, and this was one of those times.
20. Dudley Boyz vs. Tommy Dreamer & The Sandman (ECW One Night Stand)
- A fun, emotional, violent match, this was ECW all rolled into one. Interference, reunions, blood, and of course flaming tables made this an incredible, if underappreciated, match.
19. Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (SmackDown, 6/23)
- Better than their Judgment Day match, plus it had a finish.
18. Kurt Angle vs. Booker T (Judgment Day)
- Another great one from Judgment Day, these two warriors put on a spectacular match even with the horribly moronic backstory.
17. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels (Vengeance)
- I was not nearly as enamored with this match as some, and I think the contrived finish, coupled with a few boring minutes, is a main factor. However, judging this match objectively, I figure this is as good a place as any for it on the list.
16. World Heavyweight Title, Elimination Chamber Match (vacant): Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Edge; Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels (New Year's Revolution)
- While not better than the Elimination Chamber Match at SummerSlam 2003, this was a good mix of competitors who all had a right to be there. The heat on Batista was amazing at this point, and it really helped the importance of this match. Overall the match was pretty brutal, which is exactly what the Chamber should be.
15. Chris Benoit vs. William Regal (Velocity, 7/14)
- A match many people may have missed, but still one of the best of the year. Benoit and Regal never fail to disappoint and this was certainly no exception. Josh Matthews' brilliant commentary is also a highlight in this match.
14. Street Fight: Shawn Michaels vs. Edge (Raw, 2/28)
- Oh the blood, blood, blood! If only their PPV match would have been this great. HBK and Edge pulled out all the stops, including one of the bloodiest blade jobs I've ever seen. Edge has proven that he performs well in Street Fights (vs. Eddie in 2002, and Matt Hardy earlier in the list) and this was one of his finest. I also really enjoyed the build in this feud and they could have went all the way to WrestleMania with it, but you can't complain too much when you get Michaels-Angle instead.
13. 2005 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble)
- They don't call it the most exciting 60 minutes in wrestling for nothing. Like most Rumbles, this one delivered as a supremely entertaining match, and even the confusing, yet surreal, ending of the match couldn't detract from what was an otherwise great outing.
12. WWE Title, Triple Threat Match: John Cena vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho (Vengeance)
- People always enjoy believable near-falls, well this match had them in spades. All three men had an incredible chemistry together, and with both Cena and Christian at the peak of their popularity this match was a heated classic. Hell, even Tyson Tomko was over for this match.
11. Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka (ECW One Night Stand)
- Yeah, I guess it shouldn't count as it didn't include WWE wrestlers, but they got their checks from Stamford so I'm going with it. This was a brutal affair that reminded everyone why they loved this feud back in the bingo halls.
10. Steel Cage Match: Matt Hardy vs. Edge (Unforgiven)
- Probably the best part of the five part story, it also included the bump of the year from Matt Hardy, at least as far as WWE goes (his brother at Bound for Glory obviously beats him out overall). It started slow but eventually picked up steam as well as getting the crowd into it, and deserved to be recognized as one of the best matches of 2005.
9. Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan (SummerSlam)
- Yeah, yeah it wasn't Savage-Steamboat, but just like Hogan-Rock, this match had emotion and history behind it, plus a hot crowd. In a bloody meeting between two legends, Shawn Michaels helped make an aging Hogan look like a million bucks, and in the process helped make an instant classic match, workrate be damned.
8. WWE Title, Triple Threat Match: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels (Taboo Tuesday)
- Another testament to the fact that John Cena can indeed work a match, this fast paced title match was one of the best main events all year. Michaels and Angle continued their great work with one another and Cena continued his roll in Triple Threat Matches.
7. Ladder Match, Custody of Dominick: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (SummerSlam)
- This was the best match between Eddie and Rey all year, again even with a stupid story backing it up. While not up to par with the greatest ladder matches of all time, it was still a brutal, high flying match up that really was the blow off to an epic feud. This was also probably Eddie Guerrero's last great match.
6. Gold Rush Tournament, First Round Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Shelton Benjamin (Raw, 5/2)
- Everyone loves this match and with good reason. We all knew when we saw the participants that this would be a barn burner and we weren't disappointed. Here's to more HBK and SB in the future.
5. Intercontinental Title, Steel Cage Match: Ric Flair vs. Triple H (Taboo Tuesday)
- This was a dramatic, bloody match, that had an epic feel to it from the get go. I was opposed to starting a feud in a steel cage as it made it hard to blow off appropriately (see the Last Man Standing Match), but this match made me glad they did. Just like Taker-Orton at WrestleMania, this match had an unpredictability to it and it really had you cheering on the Nature Boy. Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler's commentary also added to the epic nature of the match.
4. World Heavyweight Title, Hell in a Cell Match: Batista vs. Triple H (Vengeance)
- This is how Hell in a Cell is supposed to be done. The culmination of the months' long feud between Batista and Triple H, this match was brutality at its most base. That barbed wired chairshot to the back of Batista still makes me cringe. Batista has proven himself in brawls, and Triple H has proven himself in the Cell, making this one of the most violent matches of the year.
3. Six Man, Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian (WrestleMania 21)
- While Eddie-Rey wasn't one of the all-time great Ladder Matches, this one definitely was. Everything from the domination from Kane, the determination of Edge, the arm-selling of Chris Benoit (still the best sell job I've ever seen), or the show-stealing from Shelton Benjamin, this match had it all. Add a very intriguing stipulation for the winner and you have the third best WWE match of the year.
2. WWE Title, I Quit Match: John Cena vs. JBL (Judgment Day)
- The topper to an incredible PPV, I was appalled at the lack of hype this match got at the end of 2005. I can only imagine people had a hang-up on this due to the participants, but on this night John Cena and JBL put on one of the most barbaric matches I've ever seen. The blood flowed like wine and they more than made up for their bad showing at WrestleMania. While I would have preferred to see JBL yell "I Quit!" as Cena was ramming him through the glass partition as opposed to before, this match was still absolutely incredible, possibly even better than the Foley-Rock I Quit Match from 1999.
1. Interpromotional Match: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania 21)
- Obviously this match would be number one on the list, as it was arguably the best match of 2005 in all of wrestling. There's not much more about it that can be said, but its important to remember in all the hubbub about TNA and ROH's great matches, WWE can still put on some damn fine ones, too.
A Reason for Bullet Points
Man, Triple H was gold on the mic this week. Any more promos like that and we may see a double turn against Cena at WrestleMania. Actually, that may not be a bad idea.
"Nice boobs, Trish." How the hell is Mickie James supposed to get over as a heel?!
You know you've played too much SmackDown vs. Raw 2006 when at the end of Raw you were thinking that all six wrestlers needed to increase their stamina level. Interestingly enough, I hear that if you spend the night with Bayani Domingo you think about raising his stamina level. Hi-yo!
OK I definitely don't like Shelton Benjamin's "mama." Maybe I was hyped up on getting Donovan McNabb's mom, but this was too much. Although I'll mark out like crazy if it turned out Shelton Benjamin's mama was really Martin Lawrence in disguise. How's that for cross-promotion?
The Royal Rumble is in three weeks. Do you know where your RVD is?
Let me get this straight, Melina hired a former sex addict to prevent her from sexual harassment? Oh yeah, great idea. What, you couldn't get Teddy Long to trade for Viscera?
Mark Henry vs. the Steel Cage as the main event for No Way Out. What? It'll probably be better than most of New Year's Revolution.
Man, Jim Ross must be having a horrible year. He gets fired, has colon surgery, and then Texas wins the National Championship. Sorry, JR. Congrats to Vince Young and the Longhorns, though, that was a hell of a game.
I've got it! Bob Armstrong is the Masked Superstar from ROH. He found out about Konnan's plot a long time ago and tried to ruin it all. Homicide vs. Bob Armstrong for the FIP Title, make it so!
On a related note, for a dude with an injured shoulder Homicide sure does wrestle a lot. I guess maybe he just doesn't wanna piss off the ROH message board. After all, if they say you suck then it must be so. Screw you, AJ Styles, you damn spot monkey!
Speaking of AJ Styles, my apologies to TNA management. AJ Styles will not be facing a notorious American jobber at Final Resolution. Instead he'll be facing a Japanese jobber, super. All kidding aside I think this new relationship with New Japan is cool and its nice that they can do these matches. Of course you know what this means. We'll finally be able to see the Shark Boy vs. Dragon Soldier B dream match. Score!
I know we're not in the sports sections but I'm just too damn happy about this. Marcus Vick….na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye! Hey, its all good Marcus, I hear Rob Feinstein is looking for an assistant.
Andy's Fantasy Booking of the Week
OK, so it won't be going out on a limb to say that Edge has a good shot at winning the WWE Title after the Elimination Chamber at New Year's Revolution. After all, a good portion of the staff picked that very scenario in the Roundtable. But how exactly? And then what? Well, here goes…
John Cena starts off the match with Shawn Michaels. Kurt Angle is the next participant, restarting their Triple Threat Match from Taboo Tuesday. Next is Carlito, followed by Chris Masters. Kane of course comes out last, and in an Elimination Chamber first, all six participants are in the match at the same time. Carlito is the first to go as Cena hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle on him following a Kane chokeslam. Following the pin, Masters locks Cena in the Masterlock and Shawn Michaels goes to deliver Sweet Chin Music to a prone Cena, but Cena pulls Masters down and causes him to get the kick as well as release the hold. Cena then leans back on a knocked out Masters for the pin. Later in the match Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Kane and Cena comes through for a rollup pin. Cena then takes the offensive against Shawn Michaels as Angle recuperates. Cena places Michaels on the top rope, setting him up for a superplex, when suddenly Angle jumps up and delivers a second rope Angle Slam to Cena. Michaels comes off of his perch on the top rope with an elbow drop and pins Cena. The announcers go crazy that we are guaranteed a new champ! Michaels and Angle tear into each other with the obligatory prolonged anklelock spot. Michaels rolls through, sending Angle bouncing off the ropes and right into a running Sweet Chin Music. Three seconds later and Shawn Michaels is your new WWE Champion.
Michaels celebrates and the crowd goes crazy, but an enraged Mr. McMahon walks out on the ramp. He lets Michaels know that he is not pleased, and that he will continue to make Shawn Michaels life a living hell…bank on it. As the Chamber is opened so that Daivari can help Angle out, Edge and Lita, with the briefcase, slide into the ring. Michaels turns around and…bam! Edge spears a worn down Shawn Michaels. Edge cockily throws Michaels out of the ring onto the cold steel and lays the boots to his bloody head. Edge throws Michaels into the steel mesh and then viciously drives his shoulder into Michaels, sandwiching him with the mesh. Edge tosses Michaels back in the ring, waits for him to rise and nails him with the briefcase; he then steps back, lets Lita stand Michaels up and then charges for one final spear. The confused referee goes to make the count, with Edge counting along…one…two…three. McMahon makes his way to the ring and New Year's Revolution ends with Edge, Lita, and Vince McMahon standing in the arm raising sign of unity, the WWE Championship in the hands of Mr. Money in the Bank.
The next night on Raw we have the go to main event of Edge & Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels & John Cena. Edge defends the title against Michaels and Cena at the Royal Rumble in a Triple Threat Match, while Angle vows to win the Rumble match. Edge retains and Angle is the last man eliminated in the Rumble, taken out by a returning superstar…Rob Van Dam. Edge defends the title against RVD at WrestleMania, Cena and Triple H hook up without the title, Angle faces Hogan, and Michaels meets McMahon, with Bret Hart as the referee. While the RVD portion is probably a longshot at best, it would be a good matchup with Edge, and the promos should be golden…And that has been Andy's Fantasy Booking of the Week.
Ch-Check It Out
While I was compiling my list of the top WWE matches of 2005, I remembered a match from last year that I really enjoyed but that I didn't think quite belonged on the list. That match was Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters from Unforgiven. There comes a point in a young superstars career that they have a match that gives the fans hope in their future. This should not be the match that they "arrive." No, Randy Orton "arrived" when he fought Mick Foley. He gave us hope when he fought RVD. John Cena gave us hope in his first match against Kurt Angle, but I would say he hadn't arrived until a year later at No Mercy, also against Kurt Angle. Chris Masters certainly has not "arrived" as far as being a long term superstar in the wrestling world. While not a blockbuster of a match, his confrontation with Shawn Michaels exhibited the kind of potential that WWE has seen in such men as Dave Batista and The Rock. If you remember correctly it took awhile for both men to be accepted by the fans and I think they turned out OK. For all those that are ready to right of the Masterpiece, I say watch this match, and give it time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it wouldn't have been if Vince McMahon built it either.
Andy! Andy! At Last, You Have Some Feedback!
Man, Christian had some sweet music. Anyhow, today's edition of The Shimmy is brought to you by the number 2, as that was the number of feedback e-mails I got my first week on the job. Here's hoping there are people out there who didn't get that I wasn't ripping TNA and ROH this week and I get some hate mail. Anyhow, Ryan writes:
Really enjoyed your piece on Eddie Guerrero. His death really didn't sink in for a couple of weeks, I was hopng he still turn up during a Batista match, even know I knew he was really gone. The ladder match is one of my favourites because it was the first time I had watched Raw for six months and got me back on wrestling, but my favourite is Eddie vs. Brock for obivious reasons. I would suggest you check out Eddie vs. Super Crazy for the indies back in 2002 as well. Anyway thats it justhow I feel about my 2nd favourite wrestler (no one beats Angle)
Thanks for the kind words, Ryan. While I must humbly disagree with the "no one beats Angle" portion of your letter, I can certainly agree with your point. I actually have been meaning to make an ROH order for a while now and the Night of Appreciation show with Eddie vs. Super Crazy is at the top of my list. I'm sure I'll have plenty more Eddie content in my column, mostly in the Check It Out section, so I hope you'll continue to read.
411's very own Nick Marisco actually read the column, too.
Marsico checking in.... I dig the new column, and the name is catchy. It wasn\'t too long, either. In fact, I could stand it going a bit longer, actually, as I rarely bother reading columns and intended to do the same with yours, but then once I started reading it, I enjoyed myself. Just put a space between the bolded/underlined titles and the text, though, as it looks cramped. Good stuff, though; some of the bulletpoints looked like they were written for WWE Magazine or something, in that they seemed cryptic, especially the Royal Rumble one and the man throwing the monkeywrench. I was back inside WWE Magazine while reading that. Keep it up, fella, and welcome to 411.
Ha, yeah man, I loved me some Informer back in the old WWE Magazine. "Kane was seen sharing a bagel with Mike Chioda…what were they talking about and how could it affect Trish Stratus?" That stuff was golden. I'm actually glad I decided to print the e-mail because I had forgotten to add the extra space. Thanks a bunch, Nick. For that you get a plug. Check out my self-appointed number one fan's "News To Start Your Weekend" (probably a bit late now) click here.
Well, that about does it, kiddies. Hit me up with some e-mail, I got a lot of catching up to do with the other newbies in terms of fan support. They tell me the least popular new columnist has to be Cook's "prag"…whatever that means.
